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It started
After I saw you for five seconds
Your beauty sticks to my memories for more than weeks
Only for a little moment
I can feel my muscles really weak

But it all ended
When I saw your curve of your lips
Goes up when you lean your head to his shoulder
There goes my hopes and bliss
Taken and swallowed by the world
Her text was the first thing
I saw in the morning
It was confusing
However I was smiling
But then I remembered
The reason why she texted me first
It was because I tried to call her
After I consumed lots of liquor
When I'm drunk, I tend to do something stupid
If only forgetting you are like smoking
My dreams and memories are the tobacco burning
Watch each of the tobacco leafs turning into ashes
Then put the ashes on my ashtray
Throw them away so I could see them goes away

If only to end my love for you by smoking
Using the poisonous carbon monoxide to weaken my heart’s desire to keep you with me,
**** the butterflies inside my belly
And the cancer cells will eat the remaining feelings inside me

Sometimes I wished smoking helps
But reality, every inhaler I took, my life slowly ends
Every cigarettes I burnt doesn’t lead me one step further
Most likely I slowly make myself to be dead in one spot
I smoked too much I guess
She took my heart when I flew in the skies
200 knots to the ground, luckily I survived
Broke my plane and I knew I cannot fly
Because I took a peek into her eyes

How amazing is this woman?
So easily to be noticed when she sits
Disturbing my dreams when she sleeps
Hypnotised me when she only speaks
Cool down my hell when she breaths
Put me down from the skies when she sees

So loveable this woman
But if I give her my heart, it would be dangerous
If I kiss her lips, my saliva contains poison and she will die
If I stare at her eyes, beneath my eyes there is a selfish demon ready to eat her alive
If I hold her hands, I can't control my own power and she will cry
If I hug her, I can't contain my joy then I might crush all her bones, she looses her life
If she gave me her heart, I might end up toys around her feelings, disturbing her night

So with my Perfectly Healthy Legs, I'm walking away
To stand along beside her was my dream, now there is no reason to stay
I will rest only when I want to pray
To ask the Lord for guidance on my new journey everyday
If my aircraft falls, I will continue my journey by foot
Her eyes are created from the oceans
Her body is the missing piece of the heaven
Her hair are the important elements for aurora boeralis, the lights that shines around the northern region
Her personalities are the missing piece from the heart of an angel
Her voices are part of a wonderful miracle
Her mind is the 25 percent of the universe
The curve from her warm smile taken from the rainbow, beautiful, colorful and ineffable
And her name is the pieces from the poetry that God ever written

When all the pieces gathered
Carefully mixed together
A winsome woman was created
Aurelia was the name given to her
Aurelia, do you even know what are you made of?
Behind my silence
My heart sends a prayers
To our beloved creator
So the both of you will be never seperated

Behind my silence
My eyes kept looking
For troubles coming
That will destroy your relationship together

Behind my silence
I said your name
So I could tame
My monster that only contain evil and violence

Behind my silence
I looked at your picture
To remind myself that this world
Still have the pure beauty living on this earth

Behind my silence
I said "I love you" silently
So quiet until The Lord can't hear me
Because if I said it, I might waste my own prayers
Behind my silence
My feelings ate the entire of me
Romantic words wasn’t enough to tell my feelings for you
My poetries wasn’t enough to venting my love for you
Slow songs doesn’t sound right
When you are on my mind
Because you are too special to be described

My blood rushed faster
And my heart applied more pressure

I may have told you I am ready to let go
But the reality, I struggled trying to walk away
The harder I tried, the more my affection grows
And the more I wanted to stay
To be with you until my life passes away

I still want you to fill my heart
In the hollow part
But that would be my own selfishness
Because you already filled somebody else’s
I've said "I love you" once, but it wasn't enough
Maybe we weren't destined to be together
Maybe it wasn't my destiny to put an engagement ring around your ring finger
It wasn't my destiny to solve your problems
It wasn't your destiny to love me
Or holding hands with me

But maybe

I was destined to protect your relationship
Putting your bonds inside my shield
Support both of you and your lovers target
With a big smile and no regrets
Then let go whenever I'm ready

Because Aurelia, my dear
I will find a heart to land safely
And I mean my words
Putting you inside my brain systems
Are one of the best things I've ever done

I can't stop imagine
Both of us sitting at the roof under the moonlight,
Talking while drinking our favourite alcoholic beverages,
Hop in the aircraft, baby I will be the pilot and we will look down enjoying the city lights
And pressing our lips together until we could see the sunrise

Aurelia, my sweetheart
I've always hoped that those dreams comes to reality
But sadly
The real world slapped me too hard
Until I opened my eyes
Really wide
Some of you guys might read my poem that was titled "Grave Of My Dreams". And I have to say, those dreams came alive and now I fell in love again

It's not your fault that I loved you
It's my mistake that I let myself covered in the blues
It's not your fault that I can't move on
But it's my flaws to carved your name in my bones
You're not the reason why my obsession has grown
Because my hormones plays around on their own
And again, you appeared in my dreams
Yet it's not because your action, it's my actions to let you in

I am so sorry
Because again I wrote you a poetry
I promised to Aurelia that I will stop writting her a poem so I could move on. I failed to fulfill that promise. Because when I removed Aurelia from the contents of my poems, it felt so empty
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