He fly above the same airport
Waiting for a chance to land on the runway
The runway of her heart
Nobody knows how long he waited but the Lord
That airport have only one parking spot and  one runway
And occupied by one aircraft

It's hopeless
To wait for that parked aircraft to take off and gone forever
He began to feel desperate
All his patience, all of his waiting, gave him a mental break

He opens his sectional
Pull out his plotter
Change his heading bug in his heading indicator
He finally said, with a smile
“It’s time to divert”

Waste of fuel and time
Waste of credits and dimes
Too long he was holding
Now it’s time for leaving

He will never know
How does the runway and the taxi light glows
After sunset and before sunrise
He will never feel
The satisfaction for using the service
24 hours everyday and night
He will never see
The runway decorated by green grass, flowers and trees
The beauty of the airport’s sight

But it’s for the best

Her eyes are the same as mine. Black and white, but her eyes have beauty in it
Her long hair. Dyed and shines, falls beautifully behind her back, hanging on her head carelessly
Her smile brings joy in life of mine. I want to be the reason of her happiness. Desprately
Her heart makes me blind. I seek nothing else but an imaginative object that I can't see.

Oh Lord let me kiss her lips and let the addiction kills me
Oh Lord let me see her eyes closely. The eyes that will brighten my life so I could see
Oh Lord hear my jealousy, the seed of my sins that grows in my heart slowly
Oh Lord bring her to me. The thief who stole my heart silently

Dear Lord my Saviour
Bless her and protect her
Dear Lord my Saviour
Hear my prayers for her

Was it your beauty
That distracts me?
Was it your body
That makes my focus blurry?
Was it your smile
That sets my heart on fire?
Was it your eyes
That makes me can’t see because it’s too bright?
Was it the way your singing
That makes me can’t hear the radio coming?
Was it your brain
That caused my heart to beats faster like bullet train?
Or maybe your just overwhelming
That inspired my dreams and caused me overthinking

Whatever the reason is
You made me crashed my aircraft
Really **** hard
That nearly caused a fatal injury

Through the fall, I saw a bliss
I saw the light between the mist
Even when my guts dont dare
I wished she would tangled me around her hair

Should I take the shot
Or left my desire to rot?
I'll let the time decide
Wether to reveal the torch
Or kept the fire out of sight

Dear mother
And father
Now I know how cold this world
After you released me in the airport

My responsibility is not that much
But the pressure I hold
Sometimes It’s too much
For me to hold it by my own

You helped me
By financially
Caring
Loving
Teaching
Screaming at me
Feed me
And raised me

I was too proud to say that
I Cried In My Sleep
You may think I have a strong heart
But my eyes cannot hold the tears

I digged the ground with a shovel
The length is 2 meters
With 1 meter width
And 6 feet deep

I put down my deceased dreams
Inside the grave
I finally swallowed the harsh fact and the painful faith
After I broke down in tears

My dreams were
To live with you
My dreams were
To put my lips against yours
My dreams were
Putting a ring around your ring fingers
And my dreams were
To love you forever

But unfortunately, my dreams now are just memories

Romantic words wasn’t enough to tell my feelings for you
My poetries wasn’t enough to venting my love for you
Slow songs doesn’t sound right
When you are on my mind
Because you are too special to be described

My blood rushed faster
And my heart applied more pressure

I may have told you I am ready to let go
But the reality, I struggled trying to walk away
The harder I tried, the more my affection grows
And the more I wanted to stay
To be with you until my life passes away

I still want you to fill my heart
In the hollow part
But that would be my own selfishness
Because you already filled somebody else’s

It started
After I saw you for five seconds
Your beauty sticks to my memories for more than weeks
Only for a little moment
I can feel my muscles really weak

But it all ended
When I saw your curve of your lips
Goes up when you lean your head to his shoulder
There goes my hopes and bliss
Taken and swallowed by the world

Jittery my heart did when the first time I laid my eyes on her
Oh Sweet Lord, look at my heart beating
Help me please because I stopped breathing
As she move her hands and legs following the music
Nailed my senses, I cannot feel the ground
Noticed my muscles dropped around my mouth
Attracted by her dance, I let my mind imagine further

No, no way it can’t be
Oh my God this can’t be true, ****!
Reality! I need to wake up to reality
I can’t be falling in love by just her beauty
Eye catching, her looks just so eye catching
God Help Me!
Am I in love or it’s just another lust????

Aurelia

It's not your fault that I loved you
It's my mistake that I let myself covered in the blues
It's not your fault that I can't move on
But it's my flaws to carved your name in my bones
You're not the reason why my obsession has grown
Because my hormones plays around on their own
And again, you appeared in my dreams
Yet it's not because your action, it's my actions to let you in

Aurelia
I am so sorry
Because again I wrote you a poetry

I pray for thousands of innocents
Who died because of 19 sinners
I wished for the wandering souls in earth
To be accepted on the side of our Creator

Bless the souls who died in Pentagon
Bless the souls who died in World Trade Center
Bless the souls of the hijacked aircraft's passengers
So they will rejoice, in the Land Of Promised

For the ones that lost their family, friends or their siblings
I want you guys to think positive and keep smiling
Because of that incident
They could enjoy their new lifes in Heaven
The place where pain never exist
And known as it's Holy
The place where our heart will never resist
To enjoy the eternal life and live happily

Rest In Peace
And you all will be missed

Clear mind starts to fade
And kind heart filled with hate
A mind full of blades
And putting people into their graves

Clean brain consumpts darkness
And the eyes become blind
He only seek for vengeance
And drink the blood from the ones he dislike

The evil mind controlled his hands
The anger controlled his legs
He will put your life to an end
And let your soul perish in hell

Stop bullying
And stop putting scars in their heart
When they starts hurting
Don't even ask why they did that

When our stars collide then this heart shall blossom
Let's forget the past, for the present, have another set of problem
If the universe breaks when we are hold hands together
Then let us bind our lips, and rule the galaxy forever

Silent sound, as the voice muffled
But for what reason? What’s with the troubles?
I asked the stars, again, that never answered
About the dangers, about the hazard

What made you hold it?
What made you want it?
The red flag reveals, now it’s my favorite color
I left the world, and the dust still lingers

Subconscious, subconscious
Where are you going?
Subconscious, subconscious
When are we leaving?

This land was already taken
So don’t even bother about the gold and diamonds
Even the gravity pushed us away
Command us to go back to space

Why would she wants to be a pilot
When she is already an angel?

Why would she wants to be inside the cockpit
When she can just spread her wings?

Why would she have to struggle asking permission from the radio tower
When she can fly by her own desire?

Why would bothered about fuel consumptions
When she have a gigantic amount of power?

Why would she thinks about the ground speed
When she can fly with her wings in a high velocity?

Why would she thinks about the minutes
When she can travel with just one click?

Why would she thinks of a distance
When she can just do teleportation?

Why would she afraid of an engine failure
When she have the strength of lifting earth?

What kind of heavenly creature
That have something she concerned?

I could feel the cold air flowing to my skin
Blowing the branches and leafs
Of the millions trees
Fear describes my feelings
As the woods doesn’t seems to welcome me
And the trees staring at me coldly

The land was so muddy
I felt squeamish
As the mud goes up to my legs
Oh *******
Why am I here in this cursed forest
I hate this place

The wind starts to blow stronger
Then ever
To my face directly
The woods have given me a warning
To get out of there and don’t come back ever again

Alone in the woods, what’s the worst it will happen

I never really know what’s behind my heart
Is it a simple crush
Or love
Maybe lust
Could be obsession
I never knew

Whatever the feeling is
Deep inside it still says
I’m crazy for Aurelia

Synthetic pine tree stood inside the house
With cute and big presents below the tree's branches
Waiting there for the little childrens
To be open
And show them different surprises

Snow fell from the skies, temperature drops below freezing level
But the heart of the ones who celebrates, can feel warm in each corner
From the heart
Church bell rang
To remind people who celebrates Christmas Carol
That the devotion was about to start
With the priest telling story of how Christ was born

Little kids put on their favourite jacket, gloves and sleeves
Try not to neglect their health, protecting their body from sickness
Meeting with their buddies
Play anything with snow activities
Joyous heart, a big smile
With the sound of laughter
Days full of happines, all sorrows were covered

Sometimes I just want to yell at the top of my lungs to you
Sometimes I just want to be angry to you
I want to scream at your ears
Until your eyes producing tears
Then I will tell you what my heart wants to say
And what you did to me everyday
Call me crazy
Because I'm a Lunatic

The reason why
Is because you still messing around my mind,
You messed my chemistry,
Took my heart again and left me empty,
And you make me weak
When you are so close to me

Set your soul free and expand your wings
Then follow the choir of the Angels singing
The ice won't freeze your feathers
For the sky is now your home forever

Set your soul free and sleep on the clouds
Don't worry about us griefing out loud
Rest in Peace, sleep tight
Rest in Peace, don't worry about tonight

Set your soul free, Heaven is waiting for your arrival
Let go of your flesh and we will set a proper burial
When you reached the promised land
Share your jokes and laughter with your new friends

Light the fire and pour the gasoline
Then let the ash follows the wind
To release the anchor of the world
That stuck on my back since forever

Light the fire and pour the gasoline
Let the memories fly to the astral realm
But my grip was never firm
And I still collecting dust ever since

Light the fire and pour the gasoline
Then put them back together with glue
Hide my feelings, and erase all the clue
Shut the noise from your heart when it's screaming

Light the fire and pour the gasoline
And use the flames to clean your sins
Or let your self be in the spiral of depression
Then fall and drown in the oceans

Her eyes are created from the oceans
Her body is the missing piece of the heaven
Her hair are the important elements for aurora boeralis, the lights that shines around the northern region
Her personalities are the missing piece from the heart of an angel
Her voices are part of a wonderful miracle
Her mind is the 25 percent of the universe
The curve from her warm smile taken from the rainbow, beautiful, colorful and ineffable
And her name is the pieces from the poetry that God ever written

When all the pieces gathered
Carefully mixed together
A winsome woman was created
Aurelia was the name given to her

It's just a little word
But the pain really hurt
Never misjudge it
No matter how small it is

Never underestimate stress
The reason of my unwell rest
My life will be the cost
My soul will be a ghost

When stress is your daily mood
You will know the truth
That the monster is not under your bed
Instead it screams inside your head

Build me an airport above the surface of your heart
The runway could be hard surfaces
Made out of asphalt
Or soft surfaces
Made of grass
No matter how easy or hard
I will take my chances
To land safely on your heart

Make a radio tower and tell me the radio frequency
So I can tell you how gorgeous is your smile
How I love your sins, flaws and your style
And you can tell me
Clear to do arrival and approach
But if you are not ready, put me on hold

Dear Aurelia
Do you still remember
The day when I intended to get my self hurt?
With the two bladed knife I have
That I said it will protect myself
Now I want you to look at my arms
Because of you, there is no more blood, scratch and scars

Dear Aurelia
Even if you are not mine
Or if you never put me in your mind
I still miss you very much
But I can’t say that directly to you, because I have no guts
I’m just a coward
Who did mistakes, sins and dream bigger

Dear Aurelia
When I heard you already have a lover
Who is cooler, smarter and better
The pain in my chest won’t stop until now
My mood goes down down and down
I am now broken-hearted
All the colors I saw slowly turns faded

Dear Aurelia
Listen to my heart for once
By reading my feelings as I poured my emotion into this poem I’ve done

If the words “I love you”
Is not strong enough to proof my affection to you

If the sentence “I need you”
Wasn’t enough to tell you that I’m so fragile without you

If when I said “ I missed you”
Doesn’t mean anything to you

If poetry
Is just bunch of words arranged beautifully

If my feelings
Are just hormones wandering around body

If roses
Are just flowers growing in the garden

If ring around the finger
Are just an accessory made from silver

Then how will I give you the evidence
That you are so special?

I stopped my pace, I let the time passed me by
To take a look of her face, she looks beautiful I can't lie
Lets rotate the clock needle to the opposite direction
To change what was wrong, what created the big friction

The little giggles she made
From the jokes I create
The little giggles she made
Now I stayed up late
Her little giggles I heard
Left me with no words
Her little giggles I heard
Helped me from getting hurt

Down in my mind so dark
She created a spark
I hope it will ignite the cold kerosine
To help the metal bird flying

They were divided by the ocean
She tried to keep an update with him when he was sleeping
He tried to tell her his days when she was already dreaming
All because of a different destinations
Even when they physically away by the distance of 14952 kilometers
But their hearts still stuck together

Skins desperately wants to touch each other
Everyday just getting harder
Thousands of times they texted him/her “I Miss You”
It wasn’t enough to let out the pressures they have been through

Even if their eyes still can see each other via video call
They didn’t feel complete at all
Even if they can hear their voices from calling
They prefer to listen it directly
Even the sweetest dreams they have in their mind
Their little heart won’t be satisfied

Don’t know where should I go
And I don’t think I cared anymore
Wide opened sectional
With a standby plotter
A flight computer
And a pencil

But no line was drawn
My plotter became useless
I let my Cessna flew by his own
And he followed where the wind blew

I noticed
The wind pushed me to that same airport
The same runway I tried to avoid
It's like faith
The further I go
The stronger the wind blows
Or it's just my crazy theory
Or maybe my mind plays tricks on me

I’m lost in the nowhere’s skies
And I still found her
No matter how far I fly
The wind leads me to her

I sat behind the bars made out of iron
A small room with no ventilation
They covered my vision
So I will be blind for a reason

I’m stuck in a jail with one cell
At the bottom of her heart
Where it simulates hell
And they will cut me apart

I was brainwashed by the leader
And forced me to love her
She used her beauty and body
To hypnotize me
So I serve her while I’m hungry and thirsty

I am the Prisoner Of Her Love
A place where no light glows
The place I will be stuck there forever
The place for my funeral
Stuck in that one special room
The place where I live until doom

When I laid my eyes on her

The skies feels different
But the colours still blue however it doesn't feels the same

The grounds where I stood starts to tremble
But I didn't realize it was my legs shaking nervous
Shut my other senses, I was amazed

She takes me to the world behind her eyes
The world where the stars always shines
The world where there is only beauty and happiness

My blood starts to dancing
Following my heart beats rhythm
As it goes faster and faster

When I laid my eyes on her
I asked myself again and again
Deep inside my brain
"If only I revealed my love towards her
Will she feel the same like when I laid my eyes on her?"

Her text was the first thing
I saw in the morning
It was confusing
However I was smiling
But then I remembered
The reason why she texted me first
It was because I tried to call her
After I consumed lots of liquor

I took my pocket knife
Hold it firmly
And scratched the surface of my skin
In front of Aurelia's naked eye

Her negative aura could be felt
Squimish and the room feels like hell
Her cold stare
Creeps me and makes me scare

In a split second, her hand holds my knife
She opens the blade and scratch her tigh
But I didn't see her bleed
I exhale in relief

“You could’ve bleed if you do that” I warned her
Again, I have to see the cold stare of her

"Why did you cut yourself?" She asked me
"Stress" I answered. Short straight and solid

“Don’t you cut yourself again!”
“If I don’t, what’s it for me then?”

She paused for 5 seconds

“I will cut my self too Peter”
“What?! How about your lover?!”
“Don’t care about him”
The way she said it, she is serious

I paused for a while
Thinking of her lover that gone wild

“You love me right?”
That question, really hits my mind
How did she finds out I carry the torch for her?
How did she knows my heart have her name written?
I panicked
And wishing God to get me killed

Then she continues her question
“As a friend”
My heart beats goes back to normal
And in a low voice I replied “yes”

By the time, I made a promise with an angel
The angel who saved me from the reaper
The angel who prevents me to be burnt in hell
The angel who prevents my family crying on my funeral
The angel that will do the same if I harm myself

I walked to the moon, and she welcomed me
Greets me and let me in
She pulled me with her gravity
Impatiently waiting for me to reach the ground safely

I touched her surface
Rub it
And get the sense of her on my skin
Smoothly as I can
As balmy as she demands
All my pain and depression began to fades
I felt so beatific
After I saw her smiling

I laid my back on the ground
Her gravity pulled me stronger
Stronger than ever
I looked up at the sky around
The sun and the other stars shining their own universes
It’s just a simple thing, but I could feel so much pleasure

But I cannot stay there longer
I have to go back to earth
She understands my reason
For the need of my oxygen
I walked away
And we go on our separate way
I went down
Back to my hometown
Meet my friends
And tell them about my experience

I walked to the moon and reach back to earth safely
It’s a waste of money
To get the rocket and my safety equipment
I walked to the moon, and it felt like in heaven

She took my heart when I flew in the skies
200 knots to the ground, luckily I survived
Broke my plane and I knew I cannot fly
Because I took a peek into her eyes

How amazing is this woman?
So easily to be noticed when she sits
Disturbing my dreams when she sleeps
Hypnotised me when she only speaks
Cool down my hell when she breaths
Put me down from the skies when she sees

So loveable this woman
But if I give her my heart, it would be dangerous
If I kiss her lips, my saliva contains poison and she will die
If I stare at her eyes, beneath my eyes there is a selfish demon ready to eat her alive
If I hold her hands, I can't control my own power and she will cry
If I hug her, I can't contain my joy then I might crush all her bones, she looses her life
If she gave me her heart, I might end up toys around her feelings, disturbing her night

So with my Perfectly Healthy Legs, I'm walking away
To stand along beside her was my dream, now there is no reason to stay
I will rest only when I want to pray
To ask the Lord for guidance on my new journey everyday

For how many times I thought
I could let her go?
How many billions of seconds I swallowed
To just lay in my bed, waiting for her to fill the hole
Very deeply inside me
So I can feel complete?
How much cigarettes did I burnt
Until my lungs hurt
For just putting my focus on that girl?
How much poems should I write
With all the creativity and the rhymes
So she noticed that already a thousand times
I already cried
From the inside?
How many romantic songs I listened
When I faced a tremendous depression
After she touched my minuscule heart
And left me apart?
How come I still adore her
After all the tortures
That she did already
By unintentionally?
How much pain
Should I gain
Just so I could see her eyes
That glows in my dreams every nights?
How much longer I can carrying this torch
The fire that burnt my feelings into ashes
The flame that harms me the most
That could traumatized me for ages?

I have no idea............

When I'm going for my new adventure
I want you to hold the key
That will grant you an access to my treasure
So no one will steal it from me
And you will be the only one to enjoy it

Behind my silence
My heart sends a prayers
To our beloved creator
So the both of you will be never seperated

Behind my silence
My eyes kept looking
For troubles coming
That will destroy your relationship together

Behind my silence
I said your name
So I could tame
My monster that only contain evil and violence

Behind my silence
I looked at your picture
To remind myself that this world
Still have the pure beauty living on this earth

Behind my silence
I said "I love you" silently
So quiet until The Lord can't hear me
Because if I said it, I might waste my own prayers

I finally opened my eyelids wide
I finally see the world clearly with my own eyes
At last I perceived
That this planet earth
Still have a millions of angels
Traveling around the world

They are all imperfect
But they all have their own talents
Some of them really catches my attention
But they failed to triggers my adrenaline
Dopamine, vasopressin and my oxytocin

Because It Didn't Feel Right

I don't think I can fall in love again
I did everything I can
To get you out of my brain

Because you are my miracle
The chosen angel
Among  the others
That spreaded through all the planet

Why did you used violence
When he doesn’t have weapons?
Why did you used violence
And left all his children
Fatherless?

I wonder what is with the brutality
Choked a helpless man on the street
He was willing to do your order, let go of your knee
When he said he can’t breathe

Why did you used violence
Without any good reason?
Why did you used violence
When he was innocent?

Why did you used violence
Is it because he is a black person?
Now it’s not your concern
Because now he can breathe peacefully in heaven

It doesn’t taste sweet
Or bitter
Not even spicy
Or sour
But it’s tasteless

The colors wasn’t green
Or orange
Not even pink
Or violet
But it’s colorless

My poetry became senseless
Lost of it’s magical power
And filled with no colors
Ever since I tried to removed you from My contents

Maybe we weren't destined to be together
Maybe it wasn't my destiny to put an engagement ring around your ring finger
It wasn't my destiny to solve your problems
It wasn't your destiny to love me
Or holding hands with me

But maybe

I was destined to protect your relationship
Putting your bonds inside my shield
Support both of you and your lovers target
With a big smile and no regrets
Then let go whenever I'm ready

Because Aurelia, my dear
I will find a heart to land safely

I slide the door open
And saw Aurelia reading a novel
Sitting in the living room
On a summer afternoon

Then a man kicked the front door open
Take out his gun and pulled the trigger
And shot Aurelia right on the forehead
My heart dropped and I Screamed Her Name

Few men came in like a soldier
One of them was the leader
I’m the next target
But I don’t want to be dead

So I pulled out my pistol
Pull, aim and fire
Shot dead all of them
Except the leader, his legs were pierced by my bullet

He looked at me and beg for mercy
But all the hatred and anger has controlled me
I shot his torso twice
And his head three times

I leaned my back on the wall
And slowly sat on the floor
Burnt a Marlboro
And gave my lungs some smoke

I looked at Aurelia’s body
No soul, no emotions and no spirit
Her breathless nose
I had a mental break down

Then my eyes were wide opened
Lying down on my bed
No dead men around the area
No Aurelia
It was just a nightmare
I was scared
It felt so real
So real

A shallow minded boy sat down on the balcony
With his heart filled with tons of melancholy
He lights up his cigars
And let the smoke melt his cold heart
His head has been occupied by that one person
A girl. That slowly grows into a woman
The wonderful human being
The rare celestial being
The angel without wings
So prepossessing
The way she sings
Is the only way to calms his feelings

He never thought of letting her go
Because she is the only one. He thought so
Little do he know
There are still millions of stars in the galaxy
There are still millions of fish in the sea
But he can’t think of that. His mind were too shallow

3 Year’s he carried the same affection
To that same person
The same beautiful name
That if someone mentions her name, he could go insane

The shallow minded boy have been wasting his times
Those precious seconds flies
To focus only on his depression
With no action taken

They said Imagination have infinite power
You can imagine the edge of the world
Or the non existed colour
But no matter how powerful it is
I can never get the picture
A day without loving her

When she wants to fly to chase the shooting stars
Or when she wants to sleep at the surface of the clouds
The chain will pull her back to the ground hard
But nobody hear her falling, even after she yelled in pain really loud

Anxiety holds the chain and life bites her neck
Crushed and cannot do anything, all of her bones starts to break
Then left wounded in this cold world
Tried to manage the pain by her own while she trembles

Confused where to cry, because she can’t find a shoulder
Stress filled inside the heart of her mother
Her father is selfish yet filled with anger
Her cousin is a *******
Her boyfriend doesn’t act like her lover
She was born to be the only daughter
Her half siblings are still a youngster
And the society doesn’t seems to care about her

She tried to heal depression with physical pain
A cutter on a right hand and tried to cut her left hand veins
Then she would use her blood as an ink
To write her poetries
Hides her scars with sleeves, and her smile hides her true feelings

Two of her besties are willing to help her when she is down
One of them stands on her side to help her stand up on the ground
And she makes her to promise never cut herself again
But the other one, got separated by the oceans
He can only listens
After he knew how dark her was experience
He was speechless because her world are far more worst then his expectations

But no matter how harsh her stories
She will never give up
Because from pain she learns to be stronger

The dreams I had
Was set on fire by the world
Lefted only dust
Slowly fell to the dirt

The chemistry went out of hand
I need time but I ran out of sand
Been here forever I stand
In this unforgiven land

If only I can fix these legs
To get out of the deep space
Stop wondering how sweet does her lips taste
I wonder how far I can go, if I fix these legs

Whenever your name I wrote
My poems glows
But I have to bury the blooming rose
To see her happiness grows

2nd part of “I Walked To The Moon”

I Walked To The Moon. Now here I am on earth
With anxiety haunted my sleep
Desperately wanted to touch her
Missing the pull of her gravity
And live inside her forever

I remembered her spoiled voice
That I cannot resist
Asking me to stay longer
Until her sorrows are over
I hate to be separated from her
My moon that shines bright
In my everyday night

I stood up on my backyard before I sleep
I saw my moon standing in the sky toughly
She gleams brighter than before, as if she was looking for me
So I waved at her trying to grab her attention
But I’m just a human being, hardly she notice. Again my heart was broken
I missed her
I love her
I need her
I want her

Thank you for decorating my illusions
I'm blessed with the made up dreams and visions
Althou we were not meant for each other
I only wished I realised it sooner