What am I to think of now?
As the due point arrives,
Will this bring the bridge to understanding?
Or keep shadows covering the eyes.
I've bared no longer in keeping the central point of you,
You've already gone fully away.
Once my question's asked,
And the lines cleared for another day.
What you choose and what you do,
No longer matter in this parted play.
I've bared the feelings,
Replayed the memories.
Wrote down in many ways your name,
But even fools like me can get the gist of things.
Just takes us longer everyday,
You've burned in and out of me.
Tears of joy and truths told,
Breaking down these barriers of pain so old.
Yet I should've remembered,
The things you've said in your name.
Like water flowing from me,
The words of you proclaimed.
Now in the end I just want them,
To leave me sane.
You're gone,
Never to be the same.
I never want to write again,
The words in your name.

You say yes,
I say no.
Neither one knows what they want.
We struggle,
And we dance.
Around each other's word of thought.
Let the minds react,
And our intelligence pour.
We both want each other,
But end up wanting something more.
So what will you do?
When the world comes crashing on you.
Will you disappear into the night?
Or the face the worlds undying fight.
Be strong and steady,
As the day renews.
Or fall broken and despaired,
Washed out fully used.

There are places asunder,
Too many apart.
Where all ask for second chances,
But get only a first start.
By bringing the boiling simmer,
Off to cool.
Do we realize there is more,
Than these disheartening fools.
I bare no notice to any seismic smarts,
Being more than simple peasantry.
Is it not worth more the restart?
This circle of unending days,
Lashing till they perspire.
Hope like the light,
Gone out with the fire.
No more recession of self,
No more desire.
Council closed,
This the taunting of what a new year brings.
Questions,
Memories.
Let the New Year sing.

Soldier on,
In war they cried.
Blood battled till beaten,
They fear the terror.
Created in stride,
Of their own horror mistreating.
I fear the race is already lost,
No sound mind is speaking.
When fear is created by oneself,
Lost is the logic of reason.

I am the last of me,
No one else is unique to my design.
As I traveled through this blue world,
I searched and searched for someone whom could be mine.
Someone whom I could share with on this road,
But alas any attempts ended in failure and suffering.
So now I sit and stare at the stars,
Wishing for all that has yet to be to come true.

Everytime I see that look,
You crawl around in my skin.
Every shiver,
Every prickled hair raised.
The thought of you is tumultuous,
Every memory saved, scrapes by.
I can't burn you out cleanly,
Your markings left over on my wall.
I get angry at you,
Wanting to burn every part of me till you're gone.
But hate never rests here in me,
I beg to know your hugs and touch all over again.
It's a fascinating,
Yet disheartening truth of me.
Of what I felt and still feel all this time,
I've let you burn in through me.
Every.....single....time.

This is it,
From now on the turning point is gone.
I'm ended in my fear,
Struggling past what has always been.
The mountain now high above the clouds,
Feeling like it's grown too far beyond my reach.
The climb is like a nightmare,
I can no longer dream.

Oh darling won't you stop hidin',
In the corner of your world.
You've got a face that shines like the sunlight,
So let your hair down and let it unfurl.
Times get hard and then get good,
But life's always been a mystery.
If truth is what you truly seek,
When found let it set you free.

They call my name from the darkness,
Yet I cannot hear their cries.
What voice remains of the living?
When all that remains is a hollowed boy inside,
Stuck in his mind.
The freedom it allows,
Can things change when it is of himself that must be allowed?
For fear grows like a **** untamed,
And once it grows thick and strong it is hard to change.
What refuge am I allowed from myself?
What courage can I muster to live on?
No voice but my own howls in the wind,
And not one to share the journey I'm in.
So again from the darkness they cry my name,
Only to destroy what in me remains.

You saw an empty room,
But said you had to go.
So I'm left here,
So I'm left here.
There was no saying goodbye,
No question why.
I guess it's time to go,
It was all a good show.
It's time to figure what it all means,
When words are said.
But what one says,
Nobody really means
Trickery with words,
With a clock so full.
I took a second chance,
Knowing my glance didn't matter.
But that again is the fools chase,
Ignoring signs for time to waste.
What was,
Still is.
And what is,
Feels like it'll never change.
But it's my problem,
Never yours.
I guess now things need to change.

No truth is greater than the one we face,
Or a lie we create and believe in kind.
The reality of the perception of those around you differ,
Good or bad.
High or low,
The morally bankrupt and those whom keep to them.
The culmination of the whole all around us,
And yet only still halfway there.
These, the moments of life at hand,
The pinpoint pinpoints we miss yet try to conceive.
What is life?
What is it we truly need?
Too many given answers,
And no clear path to see.

It's all a public stage,
On which you display your wares.
What talk of sweet joys,
Can be something to be compared.
What lies have you yet to spew?
When all is gone and bared,
I see no easy answer.
When all you give is words,
And never really care.

And so dear friends the time has come to pass,
Of things of life that never last.
This troubled feature of zombified mind corpses,
Full of distracting features.
Empty road courses,
Thousands upon thousands.
No end in sight,
The road of progress leaves either day or night.
So dear friends and lifes alters,
The door has come aclosed.
The days are long,
But time is shorter.
So live,
But don’t love wrong.

I am alone in the crowd of many,
Recognized only by the few.
It seems cantankerous to wish for more,
But sometimes that's all there is.
And for those small moments,
At least I am known.

There's a hole in my heart,
There's a problem with my head.
Giving a piece of my heart,
And I end up filled with dread.
Is this the end now?
Leaving me in silence with no word said,
I gave you a piece of myself.
And all that exists in between,
Am I to be time forgotten?
Or more or less a has been?
What can I say or do that'll make you hear me?
And hear in return a word back,
Or am I just a fool with brains to lack?
That hole of my heart how full of doubt and fear it is,
When all but love I wanted to give you.
And to receive in return,
But when no word is spoken from you.
What then am I supposed to think?
What then am I supposed to feel?
Was all that time spent with you pointless?
Or in the end so real?

Enough to be written,
Enough to be said.
Is it all gone,
Now that it has gone to your head.
This passing phase which you call true love,
Is nothing but smoke and mirrors,
A blind spot in the heart.
If you go to fast and fly to high,
It'll hurt even worse when you fall from the sky.
I don't want to destroy the happiness that you hold,
But the fear I have is much too bold.

Death, where is your sting?
Has it been lost in thy suffering?
I in myself felt like I accepted you years ago,
But I pushed forward not knowing where it would go.
Now here I am at your door once again,
The empty swallowed pit of my soul.
Knowing and aching at your entrance,
I stand wishing to be free.
Free from the stresses and worries about tomorrow,
The ravenous worn torn heart holding and breaking.
It seems I'm done with it all, really,
A willing life for forsaking.

I've come to the state of I don't care,
Burrowing my head in the sand till this point.
It bleeds and begs me to move on from this place,
It doesn't care to ask anymore.
I have let myself become stuck in this misery,
The empty shell equaling instant mystery.
The place of the mind kept for weeping all in my own,
There is more to one's sheer snideness left alone.
But fear reaches beyond it's said stage,
Again and again it tells me to stay.
I must fight back,
Even though I've grown tired and sleepy.
Where I am young,
I feel old.
This place close to prison,
Must no longer keep me.

In this misty fog of yore,
To this life been given sore.
Nevermore in one’s own waking,
Tired eyes for the worlds own taking.
Vindictive numbers of judicial pasts,
Moving forward from what never lasts.
This word mistaking of points of view,
Can’t change another’s outlook.
Yet what can one do?
So bask in radiance of what you can,
For the hour of the end comes at everyones hand.
No life immeasurable when at small it stands,
When in this basking glow of forsaking.
Will you stand clear from the fog?
Or by its mist, be taken?

She sings to a world filled with life,
But with strife comes the harsh and dreary.
Barring the bare bones of herself,
She plays on.
The sounds of sweet melodies and harmonies intertwining,
The boldness of her foray into the darkened world.
Shine, even though the bleak storm clouds approach,
Not far behind.
The only sound warranted is hers,
Keeping at bay the noise of the world.

So with a view,
I see a change.  
Wrapped up in ones own self pity,
Can the mind be changed?
So fair so pretty,
The eyes what do they show?
The lost mind of a lost soul,
How long can one wander through life and not be phased?
Their burdens hidden inside their gaze,
What once was is different and no longer the same.
Can any good be remembered before its too late?

Where does it start now?
Where does it begin?
The writing has been on the wall awhile now,
Just like my sin.
But my procrastination,
Has left me caved in.
My life is certainly a mess now,
Like a ***** diaper bin.
I don't know how long I can last,
Being this tired and unable to get past.
All the things life requires of me to grow,
Even though my fears and uncertainties show.
Let the light shine in.

There are so many things to say,
Yet I am many worlds away.
My breath catching on the last note,
Above all else remains hope.
But what remains to be seen,
Left lime-lighting on the scene.
A tempest *** left to boil,
Bursting with reckless sounds known.
No path placed left to see,
Yet the road ahead is black as stone.
What remains is a destitution,
A lacquer of things built up over time.
What now that all is left but a resolution,
A choice I hope that never becomes mine.

This burning sprawling fire,
With a look that could burn me for hours.
Comes and goes,
With the passing of every look upon you.
Everytime I wish to be mean,
Screaming things totally obscene.
I can't be so mean towards you,
It's not fair on my end.
Of you who wishes to be called friend,
Sidestepping so easily on every turn.
You ignore me as I once tried to ignore you,
But again I find.
With memories in line,
In the things that made me fall for you.

There is a beauty to the sound of you,
A beauty quite unlike the rest.
Yet when it comes to those moments of doubt,
I find myself second best.
I would say till the sun stops shining,
Of just what you mean to me.
But do I mean the same to you?
As you have always been to me?

Come hither writer,
Set the stage.
The voice of choice and reason,
Have not aged.
Paint the world in your words of all,
This the place belly up is so small.
Have you no reason or rhyme?
To take in those breaths,
Time after time.
Fiercely show the power you hold,
Frightening words of bold.
No creased pages beseech you,
Every word you wrote.
Only to feature you,
Tiny drawings to entertain your mood.
When the days of the dry well,
Bequeath you.
So writer,
Set the stage.
And with your words,
Amaze.

There at the beginning,
That rising hour.
The sun shining beyond the morning dew,
Can all be lost in a sedated life.
Buried beneath the lost few,
I have felt the burden of this world.
Bearing heavily on this soft skull,
Bringing a point to this sleepy lull.
That I have left myself in to do,
Now after all this time I must awaken.
Or face a darkened end despaired,
For all the things I have mistaken.
A hard choice to make,
A grief to bear.
A piece of my heart given,
In hopes of something new.
But all the while in this waking,
I'm left in the night alone construed.

They all leave,
Words left unsaid.
Upset and full of dread,
Where did the time go?
The all important question we'd like to know,
With all saved up.
Now felt wasted.
Time lost to pretty faces,
The dance becomes a game.
Challenging the individual in staying sane,
To make sure heartbreak isn't repeated before.
But in there lies the problem,
No moment of change.
What in the end do we call love?
When feelings left,
Feel no hope of change.

And though love remains,
It stays where it is.
Where hugs are like an eternal bliss,
I remain on a fragile end.
Where I see both sides,
What once was is.
My feelings I cannot hide,
I'll try and keep my place.
In order to keep what I can,
And in that I see the value.
Never close again.

I've tried,
But there are just no words to scrape up.
Taken in past form,
For future reference.
Laid down for someone else,
Somewhere else.
What to make of things that don't always come?
To bear the burden of the words,
Said or not.
As the world in my head,
Isn't big enough for the world outside.
Alone instead,
Whether chosen or not.

Things return to the same,
Always as before.
Roads winding,
Insides grinding.
Putting too much touch,
In hopes galore.
I thought I saw signs,
But again I ignore.
That things will always be this way,
Always as before.

From tall to short and short to tall,
Why is that you think so small?
From white to black and blue to gray,
Is it from that there is so little to say?
The height is not the matter nor is it the physical strength,
But is something so small and fragile in size.
The heart is the matter in which to fill with love,
Like a dream from above.
But sometimes love can be like a burning bridge,
Burning away what you thought to be true.
It is not enough for me to say it,
For you must feel love too.

I must enjoy the when,
Not always all the time.
I wish to see you again,
To dance your crazy line,
So call me foolish, dumb or stupid.
Words of hate time after time.
As I know what's really true.
Seeing past the veils of your line,
Perils I set upon my behalf.
As I get close to you.
Growing up and out isn't easy,
But good things can happen too.

I need you to love me,
When I can't love myself.
I need you to love me,
When I'm all alone on this shelf.
Life can be hard sometimes,
And with you it's never easy.
But how could I love anyone else,
When you make me feel this way.
I get so tired sometimes,
As the world tries to bring me down.
It's simple but can become complex,
As craziness ensues.
But your love is like a drug,
And it leaves me with a smile.
So won't you please just sit by me,
And stay for a while?

While my heart cries at one end,
I question at the other.
The swinging circuit of this revolving door,
Just gives nothing more than trouble.
I bear this sadness and it just doesn't easily go away,
Why is it so hard to give and turn from those memories?
What must I do to stop the reappearing tears that never end?
I am a fool and recklessly follow so,
Just in hope that one day I will no longer feel.
This broken-hearted syndrome.

No question is left without some answer,
And the truth buried under a lie.
What reason would you tell the light?
When in darkness you'd rather hide,
You turn and turn.
Want and snide,
You increase your efforts to be alone.
A child deep inside,
Harking back to old days.
Where the world never seemed right,
When you stop,
Is when you learn.
Left alone confused,
Crying at the side.

Emptiness,
A try to fill.
Fear,
A chance of courage.
Failing to prove against both,
This mountain unwilling to climb.
A crashed plane with no rescue,
Yet hope for change.
Is always on the morrow,
What then shall one prove?
Or should they end all with no try?
My dilemma,
My unending tumble.
Time to choose,
No longer to stumble.

You've said I've gone,
But now I'm here.
A voice of reason,
Reappeared.
The line you drew,
Works no more.
This silly little battle you pose,
Is nothing but a child's prose.
I the voice,
Have reappeared.
The voice of reason,
To make things clear.
What in your life do you compress?
Like all the rest,
I shout higher than all before.
So voice your reason,
And make me doubt.
Another boundary,
I won't get out.
Now listen closely,
And listen dear.
That you cannot make me,
Disappear.

As I see it,
Free days are long gone now.
No room for movement free,
The time for catch-up disappeared somehow.
No time left for breathing,
It's nice to know a try was made.
But ended up to be a lost treating,
This chance slipped by so long ago.
The chance for any sort of meeting,
But that's ok.
No need for a reason why,
Everything said like so.
What once a hope now an annoyance,
But it was as it was.
So many years ago.

Ghosts,
They seem more prevalent these days.
What you thought wouldn't be,
Has it returned to its place?
The eye catches glimpses,
Of times used to be.
The highs and lows,
Does it end?
Can you see?
I can't look beyond these shadowed walls,
Blinding as its come to be.
What else is there in ones shuttered dome,
But observing what has yet to come.
Flailing and shouting endlessly.

To once was to what is,
Is the difference I deal with.
Time changes all things,
And life lived because of that hurdle is difficult.
All thoughts that go round and round in circles,
But never end in their tormenting of me.
What was isn't,
What is is.
The reminder, the jab,
That leaves me like this.

Time is but a wave that washes over us,
Some days we're gasping for air. Others are looking forward to the next big one.
In all of this remember each wave, good or bad,
For they make the person who lives today.

What is it we seek?
As we go round,
Pondering at the thoughts of tomorrow.
Growing to bring me down,
The thought of escape isn't far behind.
We try to swim afloat,
Everyday.
All the time,
It gets tiring to think of moments yet to pass.
As though the futures tomorrow won't last,
I sigh and gasp.
At a rest that won't come tomorrow.

Breath a little and tell me your story,
Tell me why you're cursed and feel resigned.
I'm here to try to convince you of the opposite,
Time after time after time.
I've been here long enough to know you,
Up and down those crooked halls.
The rooms closes in sometimes,
As I rise up and begin to fall.
I will fight to the last breath,
Convincing you not to lose all.
But you are no easy person,
And no matter how much I try.
You push back with the fears in your mind,
And I will not so easily give up.
But rest when it's time.

I am but one person in this big ocean,
Where does my place begin?
The thoughts and turns of this world,
Make me lose my head again.
Why bother when the answer I seek is distant?
Or so far beyond that my voice is so small?
Sighs,
Whatever it is.
I am too small,
For a world so big.

What is but solemn grace,
The man forgotten by men.
He seeks the world for riches and glory,
Yet learns there are better men in place.
What ** and wonder,
This cosmic ball of life we play.
Where truth and lies dance together,
Like words with exchanging names.
So forget the man forgotten,
His name rubbed off of glory’s vain.
Where he sits and waits on the worlds revolution,
No redemptive grace.
So forget the man,
Clean the slate.
The world is already a noisy place.

I must be done living with what is,
The time of change has come and I must choose.
I no longer wish to be stuck in this same place,
Or be afraid of what is lost or gained for tomorrow.
I'm not part of the brightest bunch,
I have no degrees in the higher form of learning.
But I know this to be true,
It is time to pack up and move on.
No more waiting,
No more being afraid.
Time to tell the warden I'm free to go wherever,
And that he can kiss my behind.

I stand in the center,
A role played in space and time.
The universe bigger than what I can see,
As I play my role just fine.
But to what end I play it,
And to where I go to begin it.
Have been seemingly lost with no helping sign.

You reminisce,
About a kiss.
But words utter fail,
At the feelings released.
Now memories fade of such a thing,
Gone in the new days ring.
You scramble for good times,
But they disappear on a dime.
In this the memories bliss,
For days of loves lost kiss.

Power plays,
On different days.
Bringing irony to the tip top of this plateau,
I struggle with words beyond reach sometimes.
But never forgetting what's below,
Hellish work for sound minded journeymen.
When all wish to be as quite so,
Yet when one is corrupt.
The mind no longer sound or sane,
This is the beginning to what's below.
And never be seen again.