How can I go back?
When I've been away for so long.
Is there a treaty I must sign?
Or a 12-step program I take?
Is there a sacrifice to be made?
Or a prayer not to forsake?
I don't know the answer,
It may be as simple as whats in front of my nose.
This and more,
With miles inbetween.
What do I do now?
And escape with some sort of dream.

In this moment I could cry,
Would my tears be justified in this moment?
A sadness overwhelms me,
Have I already lost?
Every moment now feels like quicksand,
I saw you yet for some reason you turned away.
I can't help this worried feeling as if I've lost today.
I know it's childish and may seem quite annoying,
But do you still love me?
As I love you still,
I know you well enough that this feels like a push.
Like I did something wrong or didn't stay long enough,
Childish I know.
But the worry grows and I know part of it is my fault,
I've kept myself to the side about the question yet asked.
If I asked it would you say yes?
Would you even want to be so?
I've always looked into those eyes and seen something more,
That smile I sometimes am able to put on your face.
I am glad to do so,
For in that moment and those after.
Means I was able to make you happy.
I hope to do so again and again,
Because that is what I really want to do and keep doing.
I know we have our ups and downs,
But regardless good or bad.
They are always worth those moments of joy and love,
Silly?
Maybe.
A dreamer?
Quite so.
But here at this point of my life,
No one compares to you.

I wonder how many stars it took for you to shine,
Maybe even then you would have been fine.
Though I cannot say nor speak for myself,
I'm just a dim light.
I don't know how to shine,
And my darkness keeps me buried in the night.
I'm sorry, I just can't see today or tomorrow,
I'm searching through the recesses of my mind.
Because I'm afraid of the light,
And what change it may bring to my soul.
Oh I've lost my self control,
And here I am battered and bruised.
Limping to safety deep in the mind,
How long until I see the light?
How much more will it take this time?

What is it we seek?
As we go round,
Pondering at the thoughts of tomorrow.
Growing to bring me down,
The thought of escape isn't far behind.
We try to swim afloat,
Everyday.
All the time,
It gets tiring to think of moments yet to pass.
As though the futures tomorrow won't last,
I sigh and gasp.
At a rest that won't come tomorrow.

Is that all that bothers you?
The only time you'll say hello,
Say the distance will grow bigger.
If I don't stop for sure,
Well when you make no helpful move.
Are you part of the solution or the problem?
If you were going to do it,
You would have already done so.
And that's your problem,
When you say you're trying to figure it out.
Through all the difficulties,
You're just delaying for more time.
Like you had plenty left to use for free,
Now stop trying to use empty threats.
Be a big girl, use your words,
And finally talk to me.
If not, oh well, it was nice while it lasted,
A silly dream a silly love.
Time to get past it.

They bloom like flowers in the sun,
Holding hands and shaking fists at the world.
They travel together,
Side by side.
Seeing all they can see,
Before they die.
Yes, every day is not a sunny one,
Nor should it ever be so.
Because if every day was sunny,
They wouldn't be so close.

I owe you more than you know,
Yet I the fool do not show.
What shouldn't be so hard to express.
But I play the cautious the neural side,
Where my mind goes where I hide.
What then does that make me?
A lost soul out on the sea?
My words will scatter and fail me,
And all that will be left is my actions to prevail thee.
So I just simply float on this haze and hue,
Yet at times my mind wraps around you.
Thinking, dreaming, and trying to understand,
That I need to change.
And be something more,
Than a fool of a man.

What if you started something you couldn't stop,
Knowing your competition would overrule you.
Saying everything they wanted to hear,
Making it clear.
They are here to change the world too,
Why can't we see it?
Would no one truly believe it?
That the world is run by some fools,
And we're part of too.
Now ask yourself this point of view,
No matter how skewed.
Could you still perceive it?
Darkness and emotions cloud your state,
Feeling irate.
At what you still think it owes you,
This kind of thinking.
Turns smart men/women into cretins,
And we lose sight of what we need to be seeing.
Again and again,
This type of thinking.
That there's no other reason,
To question those whom keep on saying.
They'll change the world.

In this world I'm an unknown,
Though my presence isn't fully ignored.
I'm present in this ebb and flow of life,
Interesting that it only took one step.
Simple yes,
But it's difficulty lies in the fear of it.
It's all one big step,
Scary, frightening and a little bit exciting.
It all begins with that step,
You just choose whether or not to go through with it.

No person is without the risk of losing,
No soul is without its worth of saving.
I see the differences in the days light,
The prism which I've had all my life.
It's funny how things work out though,
Still so far I have yet to go.
The lessons learned still deep out of reach,
The miles I've traveled.
Have they yet to teach?
I am the child of lonely sad madness,
That which can only be obtained through deepened sadness.
But here I am more lively than most,
Playing along as the second ghost.
This is the voice shouting against the wind,
Here I am, come get me if you can.

And so in turn you've come to resign,
This the line that's all turned benign.
Your callous and careless,
Your thoughts all frayed.
Does a ghost like you get a voice?,
As you've turned away.
Your colored hair deceased,
Always off and on its stray.
This missed the least,
Memories haunt somebody else today.

From his emptiness,
He poured himself in.
The lonely rope he chased,
Had become a beginning self-win.
Lights flashed past eyes,
The solidarity of the mind blowing through.
This, he thought, was nothing new,
They come they go.
Children of a new and passing age,
They fleet like the life they live.
All wash ups,
Bound with mistakes.
They curse themselves with light filled screens,
Moving scenes.
Nothing new crosses the eyes,
Except ones own desire.
A continued fire,
With that he sleeps.
And enters eternal rest,
The worlds best filled with liars.
There are no people anymore,
Just other souls filled with desire.

Why can’t I write?
Like I once did before,
Tragedy and remedy.
Wrapped up simply yet in a hoard,
What bounding breaks of wording.
Make truth simply desired not abhorred,
When words of life are ever fleeting.
A desire of wanting the same but more.

Don't leave,
(Yet you're already gone).
Please stay,
(But you're too far on).
What voice will you hear?
Now that you're no longer here,
Will you even stop by again?
I guess I'll never know,
If you'll ever show.
And wind up crossing paths once again.

It was so many years ago,
The fallen downtrodden path began.
But because no future could be told,
Life must be lived in one's own hand.
I can only make predictions,
Even though I know they can't stand.
I have seen and felt,
Loved and lost.
What more can be?
How much can one see?
Before you grow into a weary old defying man.

It's time to go,
Don't you know.
The insides rotting away,
I've done nothing.
To gain my spot,
Tearing holes inside my head.
This dread is full of no appeal,
Burning days for tomorrow.
A wish of better concealed,
Death is but a seldom advertisement.
The salesman with a better deal.

Should one sell themselves so short?
That their works and wonders,
Are rendered useless.
That their earned respect and rightful deserving favor,
Spoiled by those of just or unjust nature.
Maybe I am blind to those who work and break themselves in order to survive,
Or to the reasons of why their good works lay away to the side unseen or unused.
If that is true then no truth is ever in me,
How can it be?
When I've been deemed blind by others.

I said to see,
This shining sea.
A case for all to be,
Of tried and tired.
Creation and tyranny,
Why must we fall and rise?
Why must some end in misery?
Does the sun not shine for all?
Revealing all to see,
The world, a ******* up blue ball.
Full of man’s ire destiny,
Is it of destiny or prophecy?
For man it is both,
A tempest *** of problematic dreams.

That's it,
Read closer.
Let the words draw you in,
But be warned.
What you take away is based on your position,
I'm no teller of hopes or dreams.
I've crumbled and been crushed by mine it seems,
Can't operate.
Can only simulate,
What wish I have for me.

So glorious the fool,
Caught in his stupidity and unwise sayings.
Mistakens the mind for its wonderful explaining,
But wonder and wrought are of a harder course,
When you wrought the wrong and keep beating a dead horse.

Am I not enough?
A question left ringing in my ear,
To ask such a question is to show myself unsure.
But to not ask it,
Is to not know.
But how does one simply answer that,
When one does not know what enough is?
Or where the point of it begins or ends.

As I see it,
Free days are long gone now.
No room for movement free,
The time for catch-up disappeared somehow.
No time left for breathing,
It's nice to know a try was made.
But ended up to be a lost treating,
This chance slipped by so long ago.
The chance for any sort of meeting,
But that's ok.
No need for a reason why,
Everything said like so.
What once a hope now an annoyance,
But it was as it was.
So many years ago.