Have I lost my mind?
Lost and found inside.
To myself, I've cried.
In the dark I hide.
I'm the light I died
Wait for me
Wait for me
I'm almost there...

-3nwlry

You say you love me.
But do you really?
My wrists are blood stained,
My cheeks are tear tracked.
My eyes are bloodshot,
My palms have nailmarks.
And yet you say I'm fine.
Telling me, To **** it up,
And never show my feelings.
You say you love me.
But you never show it,
Doing me harm,
With your inactive behavior
Towards my pain.
Never realizing how,
Long ago you lost,
Your one and only daughter.
You say you love me.
But I flinch,
As you say my name,
In that harsh, blaming voice.
You say you love me.
I say you don't.

-3nwlry

Loving you was my mistake
But I'll still love you 'till I break.
Just stay with me today.
I want this
If you don't
Then you don't have to stay.

Loving you was like a moth and flame
You lured me in, then played your game.
But I still stay here everyday.
I need this.
I liked this anyway.

Loving you was so bright
When you smiled you were my light.
But then that smile faded away
Now I'm lost
In the dark you left behind.

Loving you was like a lullaby
We listened close to the others mind.
But you said that it might change.
You gave up.
You left this anyway.

Loving you was my mistake
I still love you anyway
But you turned your back on me.
I don't like this.
I don't need this.

Loving you was my mistake
You stopped saying it back.
It really feels like hell
When I see the old texts you'd send.
I don't want this.

But I can't stop
Loving all that you do
cause I love you.
That, angel, is true


-3nwlry

I don't hate you.
I'm not mad.
I'm just upset
That you lied.
I want you happy.
Do what you want
If she makes you happy
If she makes you smile.
Be with her
Go ask her out.
I am your best friend.
I'll be okay.
I see the way You look at her
It hurts my heart to think
You'll be with her and leave me
Just like everyone else.
But if she is what you want.
Be with her now
don t waste your time
With a girl you don't care for.
Things will change
Make sure you make
There right choice.
Me or her
Her or me.
Best friend or girlfriend
Girlfriend or best friend
Take your pick.
I won't be angry.
I know she is your choice.
I'll just leave
So farewell.
Don't feel guilty
Don't feel bad.
She makes you happy
I'm very glad.

-3nwlry

I go to the bathroom
And cry in the stall.
Such disappointment, such failure
I haven't felt in a while.
I thought I got better
Not good enough.
I knew I wouldn't make it.
I knew I couldn't join.
The optimism I had
Has gone within seconds.
Meyer didn't call my name
I didn't make it into the choir.
My friends did, I'm happy really
But I wish I could have too.
We smiled and clapped
But inside I cried.
Adam, Bev, Colton, Joel, Meredith, Larry
All made it in.
I was not wanted, not needed.
I though I would make it
But I didn't.
I might as well give up.
It's not like they'd care.
I'm not even that good
I sing, yeah, but not well.
Trying out was a mistake
Going was a mistake
Hoping, wishing, wanting
All those, everything was a mistake.

-3nwlry

While I sit in my room,
You are down the stairs.
Father is yelling and blaming you.
You don't know how to feel.
Your voice is trembling.
I know you're about to cry.
I want to shout
And shove him away.
But it wouldn't change a thing.
After your "talk" to
You stumble up the stairs.
You'll go to bed and
Cry quite hard,
Missing your sweet mother.
I was there, open armed
To give a goodnight hug.
I whisper that I love you.
And I hear your honest reply.
I'll always love my brother.
I'll keep him within sight.

-3nwlry

My best friend is anorexic.
So I feel it is my job,
To make sure she eats once or twice a day.
Sometimes she gets upset with me.
So I listen to her words.
"She is skinnier than me"
"I'm pretty fat"
I roll my eyes and disagree.
She tells me she is right.
But the fear I have is there.
She won't listen to my words.
Almost eighteen and ninety pounds.
I'm scared that she will die.
I wrap my fingers around her arm,
And tell her I am scared.
She says she's fine and rolls her eyes.
It's not that she doesn't care.
I know deep down she fears.
She'll die from her self torture.
But I see where she comes from.
I understand the choices.
I'm little hypocritical.
I don't eat, and force her to.
I know that she sees that.
They say nothing, I am fine.
It's not like I am her.

-3nwlry

He protects me in the dark
He shows up in my dreams
as My lover and my friend
And so much more.

And She shows up when I'm scared
and whispers of what I'm unaware
That They don't love me back
that I'm alone.

He holds me tight he tells me that
She lies to me every night
But for some reason I close my eyes
And I whisper that she's right.

She smiles with that evil grin
She knows that she's won again.
And his eyes are wide, and his light dims.

They aren't the same no they aren't.
I feel them, No matter where I go
They follow me home

I wish I could see him, in my wake
His eyes are so blue.

She shows up no matter what,
that persistent, young woman
She seems so beautiful, but then she screams.

He holds me tight, to not let go.
she grabs my arms.
She told me so,
She'd haunt me forever, bring me low.

He turns his back, to protect me,
I hug him tight, in my dreams.

I wish that he was alive.
So we don't have to say goodbye.
And I don't even know their names.

-3nwlry

I have a little poem book
I carry it where ever I go.
I don't let anybody look,
In case they think I'm low.

Most poems are feeling depressed,
A lot of them sound sad.
People think that I'm repressed.
People think I'm always mad.

I have a book of poems,
That tells of all my years.
It's like my little museum.
It shows all my tears.

Can you see them glisten?
I just want people to listen.

-3nwlry

Tears in my eyes,
Will you please dry?
"Never cry"
Never cry

Bloodshot eyes,
Will you please close?
"Never sleep"
Never sleep

Hanging rope,
Will you take my life?
"Please die"
Please die

Holding hands,
Will you release?
"Never let go"
Never let go

Running mind,
Will you please slow?
"Never calm"
Never calm

Loud noises,
Please shut down.
"Never quiet"
Never quiet

Wiping my eyes,
Please don't look.
"Never weep"
Never weep

Asking why,
Pleading to leave.
"Never run"
Never run

Trying to sleep,
Making me cry.
"Never dream"
Never dream

Holding my breathe,
Faking a smile.
"Never speak"
Never speak

Changing my mind,
And my heart.
"Never lie"
Never lie

Crying inside,
Please don't die.
"Never mine"
Never mine

Make a sound,
Don't turn around.
"Never scream"
Never scream

Begging on knees,
Yelling at me.
"Never move"
Never move

Confused inside,
Wanting to cry.
"Never show"
Never show

Making me cry,
Hands in the air.
"Never yell"
Never yell

Lump in my throat,
Telling me "no".
"Never talk"
Never talk

Closing my eyes,
Shutting my mind.
I want to die
I want to die

Broken inside,
Wondering why,
"Never ask"
Never ask

Running time,
Never slow.
"Never rhyme"
Never rhyme

Breathing slow,
Closing my eyes.
"Time to die"
Time to die

-3nwlry

I won't lie, he wasn't the one.
Neither was he.
I am still alive, I still think I'm fine.
I crossed out all the poems
I scratched out the songs.
I deleted all the texts
That connected him to me.
We don't talk anymore
I am not bothered.
We don't see each other anymore.
We're thousands of miles away.
I know I'll never win.
I know I won't receive.
Somebody who will love me.
Yet I still dream of the one.
I don't know who he is.
I don't know his name.
I don't know where he lives.
I don't know anything.
And yet I hope we'll meet.
So he can take me from this place.
Everyone has some one..
I know that's a fact.
But I don't think I do.
My one left me again.
When I woke up, it wasn't the same.
I don't ever get "the one"

-3nwlry

In the dark, in the dark
I am dancing.
In the night, in the night
I am singing.
In the light, in the light
I am drowning.
In the day, in the day
I am dying.
Yes, at night, in the night
I am crying.
I can't sleep, I can't sleep
Cause I'm thinking.
I want to sleep forever.
At midnight, at midnight
I am cutting.
My wrists. My neck.
My ankles, they bleed.
Nobody sees. Nobody sees.

-3nwlry

It's so not fair!
I dealt with him already
This sounds so rare...
I feel so very unsteady

I lost that lover boy
When he moved away
I felt kind of like a toy
But we went our separate way

But when he left
School started anew
And I found out in my math class
I lost and "gained"
that boy I used to know.
The one who was quite stupid,
but I liked him anyway.

The very one who left me lone,
When I got away.

He invaded my home,
with unwanted memories of pain
Everything is red and gory
I feel the tear in reality.

Fate does not seem in my favor
The one I love
Moved away
The one I wanted to stay away
came anyway.

This is so unfair.
This is so cruel.
Has anyone seen this before?

I lost one
and gained the run away.


-3nwlry

No time for rest.
No time for sleep.
No time for love.
No time to weep.
The days are slow.
The nights are fast.
When I close my eyes
I think of death.
The rain is pouring.
The swings are swinging.
The wind is howling.
The girl is crying.
I feel like dying.
I'm tired of crying.
I wish I was normal.
This isn't very formal
No one sees me
Wishing to be somebody
Nobody saves me.

-3nwlry

Oh you left me here alone,
And I can barely pick up the phone.
Cause you show up in my dreams,
When I don't ask you to be.
Oh You left me
And I'm lonely.
Guess I'm not over you.

I thought I was over you
At least a little bit, it's true.
Oh this is happening
Give me a moment
To catch my breath.
And I'm scared now,
Cause you're not answering.

You have a girl with you,
Is that true?

And I get it, I'm not for you
I'm not for anyone, anybody yet.
I'm fine, I swear that it's true
I'm just not over you.

I wish I was over you.
As I fight the urge to text or call,
Cause it will never be the same at all.

You left and you moved on.
I'm here singing this song.
That's okay, I swear I'm fine,
I just thought that you were mine.

Oh this is happening.
Don't look at me now,
Cause I can barely make a sound.

You seem happy,
And I'm lonely.
Cause I'm just not over you,
No I'm not over you.

At least I don't have to see you
Everyday anymore.
And At least I can't stare
while you hold her tight.
Please don't hold her tonight.

I don't wanna hear about it,
How your hands together fit.
Does her smile light up your day
While I'm here, fading away?
Oh, Do you say you love her
Just like you told me, the same mistake?

I used to be her, I know
I guess I won't pick up the phone.
If you're happy when I'm lonely.
Then just stay away from me.

I am fine now, I swear this time
I'm glad crying is not a crime.
If you knew how I felt about it all,
Would you still not call?
You said you love her too.
When I'm not over you.

-3nwlry

Ocean depths
Like grass on trees
Could very well
Be the death of me.


-Cnwlry

You don't care.
About me,
About your sons,
About your wife.
You lost her.
You lost your eldest.
You lost me.
You're loosing your baby boy.
I'm more of a parent
To that ten year old than you are.
He hates you.
I hate you.
You hate us.
It's neutral.
It's normal for me.
Having a broken family.
Friends say you'll be okay.
I'm already br-ok-en.
Along with my family.
"Are you okay?"
" I'm ok. "
I put on a smile.
It doesn't reach my drowsy eyes.You go about your day
While I am in the bathroom,
Staring at the mirror
Wondering who I am.
Wondering the best way to **** oneself.
You think I'm fine.
That I'm happy.
You're wrong.
I'm br-ok-en
Not ok.
I've become the monster
Underneath my bed
And my father
Made me this way.
He made me loose my mind
And he doesn't care.

-3nwlry

"If all of us met in real life,
and some one was being picked on or hurt,
We would come at the enemy
with the fury of countless words
and millions of suppressed feelings."
Right after I said this, Right after I smiled
(For the first time in a while)
Right after I let go of the hurt I felt.
My father yelled
And blamed me for what I didn't do.
Now I feel them all again
The hurt, mistrust and panic.
My hands are shaky, palms are sweaty
I feel like puking, or possibly crying,
My heart is racing, blood is running
Head is spinning
Feet feel like darting far away from him.
My mind can't help wondering
If what I said was true.

-3nwlry

Pretty little lies of "I'm fine"
***** little secrets behind those eyes.
Every time we say "goodnight"
We hope that we will die.
Our lights dim now as we lose hope.
They said that we were fine
We were all right
But every single night
We lose more of our light
No one in our sight
We cut we hurt
We get high
To act all right
We hide behind our smiles
That we show and cover our eyes.
But no one says the pleading
Question in the eyes.
We give up for help
We lose sight of hope
We give our happiness
For comfort is imaginary.
Parents never see
Siblings never know
Friends never care
People never share
The facts that we hide behind
Our eyes.

-3nwlry

I sit here waiting
For my parents to pick me up.
Thirty minutes late
Still, I wait.
Maybe I should walk
I think I know the way.
She said she'd be here.
That was thirty minutes ago.
Now that it's three forty.
I still wait patiently
On the wall.
Staying in the shade,
Writing poems
Of little importance.
I hear cars pass by,
I look up hopefully.
Not seeing the one I know.
My last thought for the poem:
At least I'm not alone.
Boys and girls waiting
For parents to pick up.
Quite very late.
Still, we wait
Some of them give up,
Some of them walk
Not having free parents.
They might be at work
They might be busy,
Either way
We wait for our parents.

-3nwlry

A peace sign
Turns into a gun
That shoots me.

Nothing is peaceful
If you don't want it to be.

-3nwlry

I've been hiding myself for so long
I almost forgot who I was.
I've closed off my light
To please others,
But I was never happy
Being that perfect little girl

I am not.
Your terms do not define me.
Girl. Boy. Non-binary.
Who cares what I am?
I am anything.
I will not remain that
sweet
straight
pretty
perfect
naive
little Girl.


-C3nwlry

Even a phone call would work now.
I don't think I could look at you.
I just need some one to tell me it's not true,
That I'm not thinking straight.
But maybe that's a lie.
Maybe I just need you.
It's time to say that even though
I said I didn't like you,
I think things might end up your way.
Of course I don't believe you like me.
I don't believe you care.
I think you'll use me.
I know we should stay just friends.
But I might end up regretting
The decision that I made.
I need you to hold me
To say I'll be okay.
Don't believe my smile.
Please look through my lies.
"It doesn't matter" hole me close.
I want the same as you.
We just want love and to love
People truly love you.
It might not be as true for me.
But please don't leave yet,
You are all I have right now.
Please don't leave me.
Please don't say goodbye.

-3nwlry

I lie to myself sometimes.
Tell myself I'm fine,
That I can live without it.

I miss seeing my breathe
pour out in front of me,
so I can see my inside.

fog up the glass
that is telling me lies
It is not the true mirror.

I never thought
I'd miss it
as much as I truly do now.

The truth is I felt
That it didn't matter
what I wrote.

Now I know,
poems, don't just help
you cope.

Poems have the key.
Show the mirror
of what we could achieve.

They do not just
tell the past,
the pain, and woe.

They will help us fly.

-3nwlry

I thought I was special
I thought I was good
But this disappointment is expected.
Just not in this amount.
I knew I wasn't good enough.
I knew I wouldn't make it in.
I now know it's pointless.
Yes, I like to sing,
But I'm not good enough for them,
The judges didn't choose me.
They chose my friends
Yes, they're very good,
But I thought I was too.
My mother lied to me.
My "parents" will laugh.
So I didn't make the cut.
So what? It doesn't matter!
It's not like I thought I would.
I'm not actually that good.
It's pointless to try out now.
I know now I am no good.
Pointless to go for my dreams.
I've never been accepted.
None of the competition choirs choose me.
None of them care
It's pointless for me to cry
No need to be sad.
I knew I wasn't good enough.
They just proves me right.
But, oh, I so wanted to be enough.

-3nwlry

My roots have rotted.
The soil is dry.
My leaves have crumbled
My petals, fallen.
I am no longer a plant.
I am forgotten.

-3nwlry

As I sit in this room.
Wondering what to do.
I sat myself next to "friends"
Who don't fully understand.
I was told to be my best.
And not show how I feel.
I was told to sit still
But I can't even manage that.
I try to pretend I'm not me.
My "friends" ask how I am
I say "ok" and leave it that.
They look at me with unbelief
So I say "I'm just a little tired."
They think they care.
I'm sure they know
That I'm a little different.
They end up leaving with the bell.
I sigh.
We will see how this ends.

-3nwlry

Don't let go of me
I'm too young to feel this free.
Tie me up in memories
Shut the lock and hide the keys.
Make me close my eyes
And hear all your lies.
You don't care for my cries.
I've been straining for some time.
Close me down, pushed away
I wish I didn't wake up that day.
You don't listen to what I say.
Isn't there some way?
Break free of my cage!
I'm burning all the sage
Give me back my wage!
I'm tired of your stage.


-Cnwlry

I'm angry at them,
but I can't shout.
My face is hot
and I feel burned out.
Try to calm down.
It's just in passing
but this thing in my chest
It's still lasting.

-Cnwlry

As I look upon the ticking clock
Questioning of I'll live,
I'm stuck wondering how they are.
The people that I left.
I wonder if they remember
Who I long to be.
If they recall
The faint memories,
Like music notes from old.

But even if they don't
They needed worry.
I will remember
All the days and nights
Even when you grow old.

I slowly begin to see
That they might not remember details.

But they remember me.

-3nwlry

So I've been replaced.
It's just a fact, can't be erased.
Maybe if I close my eyes.
They could all go away.
She is pretty. She is nice.
She looks lovely. She is kind.
Now he likes her, when he used to like me.
It is over before it could begin.
I lost my friends. I've been replaced.
That's fine. I didn't need them anyway.
I can't get new ones.
The school year has been established already.
I have no where to sit cause she took my seat.
I've been replaced yet again.
She is a willing adversary
But I don't think I will fight her.
I said I wanted to be alone.
Now they left me. Now they're gone.
Cause they like Azure better.
He wants Azure. He used to want me.
They like Azure. They used to like me.
She took my place. I've been replaced.
It shouldn't bother me.
They were my friends, and now their hers.
I was his crush and he was mine.
Now he likes her. I still like him.
I've been replaced.

-3nwlry

Once upon a single star
Shining just got you.
Just because you're happy.
Just because you're free.
Doesn't mean he loves
Any more than he loves me.
I am still a girl
But I see quite clear.
One day I'll be older
Not that you even care.
And housing tell me
Who I meet
I'll be free and you will see.

I may hurt my skin with blades
I wonder if I'll live
I may have trouble sleeping
For fear of the next day.
But one day when I'm older
You can't tell me who I'll be.
You won't be my leader
You won't control me.
I won't follow what you say
And I'll be free.
You might see.
What becomes of your only daughter.

-3nwlry

I can't hear you above the sound of the ocean waves.
I can't see you across the thousands of miles away.
Lie and tell but you can never escape the grave.
You'll go blind if you look into the sun's ray.
Whispered voices hide what they won't tell.
Shouts and calls show a deeper meaning behind.
Listen closely, you might hear the echo of the well.
Watch and learn, so you know how they unwind.
Careful, listen, listen to the ringing of the bell.
See the shells as they are refined.
You will likely be okay, too we say farewell.

-3nwlry

I'm sitting in my room
You're eerily creeping up.
You are always near me
I can't escape my shadow.
You can follow me around.
You won't catch me
You can't catch me.
I can't escape my shadow.
You see me in my darkest moment.
You are me when I lie.
You watch me harm my body.
You can't stop me. I never listen.
You watch as I pass out.
Crying like a child.
I wake up and see you there.
Everyone has a friend.
Not everyone can see them.
People think they are imaginary.
I looked up at you
And you pulled me up and out of the grave
Which I dug.
You held me tightly
I'm your only friend.
I realized I could smile.
I noticed you were real.
No one really saw the year tracks
Or the smears of blood on clothing.
Or the stinging in my wrists.
But I could finally breath.
And I saw the colors
Of the world around us.

-3nwlry

The line goes
"Would anyone notice if I stopped talking?"
I would think so but
Maybe no one listens anyway.
I struggle to find the words
And hand pick the chosen many,
I wrap them up with a neat little bow
But people tear them apart
like kids at Christmas,
Or dogs at a bone,
Grumpy when it isn't what they want.
I don't think anyone would care
If I just stopped talking
But my mouth always bubbles over
With words I wish to say
Like water on a stove.
I whisper at myself to "Shut Up!"
But I brush it off
Like the tears on my cheek.
Just. Listen.
There are so many things
I need to say.

-Cnwlry

I need somebody to see,
Somebody to hear,
Somebody to love.

I want somebody to hate me.
To hurt me.
To **** me.

I know somebody sees,
Somebody hears,
Nobody cares.

I wish somebody would care,
Somebody could heal,
Somebody would love.

I know nobody loves,
Nobody cares,
Nobody knows.

I need somebody to understand,
Somebody to losten,
Somebody to care.

-3nwlry

Why won't you see
How easy it could be.
Look up, you'll see
How lovely it would be.
Time wastes we grow apart.
We won't be one in eternity.
Cry to sleep every night.
I wake like the earth is tumbling down.
Nightmares. Who cares.
I'm used to it by now.
Every night I cry myself to sleep
Waiting for somebody to help me. Why not?
No one will. I have to help myself.
To be me is harder than being a teen.
I feel like a thousand words
Need to leave but
No one hears anyway.
A thousand words.
A thousand lies.
A thousand "hi"s.
A million "goodbye"s.
A thousand "I'm fine"s.
A thousand lies.
A thousand songs.
A million poems.
Are running through my mind.
I wish I was...
Somebody else needs to listen.
Somebody else can't fix me.
Somebody else needs to learn.
Somebody else needs to help me.
Somebody else needs to learn.
In the dark I'm crying.
In the light I'm drowning.

-3nwlry

Every night I close my eyes
And always wonder why.
Why do you always make me smile
Even when I'm tired?
I walk down the hall with my friends
And realize they don't care.
So you know who I really am?
Honestly, probably not.

It's impossible to get you out of my head.
It's impossible to finally get to bed
I understand that no one really cares.
That's alright. I'm just losing my mind.
Stop that! You are messing with my head!
Stop that! I wouldn't be understood.
Stop that! I told you I am fine.
Please stop. You'll find out I'm breaking inside.

I sit with you, as you sketch.
I try to figure out
This dilemma which I have.
I'm impressed that you have never noticed.
I can't let myself like you that way.
I can't risk out friendship now.

It's impossible to get you out of my head.
It's impossible to finally get to bed.
I understand that no one really cares.
That's alright. I'm just losing my mind.
Stop that! You are messing with my head!
Stop that! I cannot let you see.
Stop that! I told you I am fine.
Please stop. I don't want you to know that I'm breaking inside.

Stop that! You are making me confused.
Stop that! I kinda really like you.

-3nwlry

I am not a threat
I am but a little girl
That is what they say.
I don't really understand.
Everyone should be nicer.

-3nwlry

I'm so tired when I wake up
I wrestle with the alarms.
I never really like this place
So I write it in my poems.

I understand you don't need to stay
I know you do so anyway.
Thank you for all the support.

You don't hear me, yet you listen
I know that it is hard.

I wrote a lot
Not much makes sense
Thank you for trying.

Hardly on it often
Yet I feel the love.

I keep this quite secret
My family would be mad.
I hide it away
So no one will say
I have written these.

You know my name
You guess my age
You don't know my brain.

Yet you know me better
Than anyone I know
Because you read
These words and scribbles
I have on the paper.

We don't talk but I sing
And somehow you still hear me.
Thank you.

-3nwlry

My parents are not proud.
My siblings are not glad.
My friends are not real.
My family thinks I'm mad.
I'm slowly falling apart.
I am waiting for the day
When some one thinks I'm good enough.
I'm waiting till they love me.
I'm waiting for them to care.
I'm waiting for that day,
I try my best to stay.
I can't wait for them to hold me.
And whisper in my ear
"You matter"
I'll shake and hug them back.
"Thank you"
Waiting is a real hard thing.
Especially when you know
Who they are, where they are.
Just not if they care.

-3nwlry

The up hills were mountains
The down hills were oceans
Waiting to swallow you whole
And when you fall from the mountain,
You get thrown into
The churning, breathtaking,
Watery depths.

No one noticed.
I did.
No one came.
I did.
I saw it all.
And then I drowned.

-3nwlry

There is something about a blank paper
That makes you slightly sad.
The exciting thought of potential.
The beauty it never had
The thoughts that race through your mind
That you wish to write.
But if you don't have a pencil
Dreams can never light
Then that paper will only ever be blank.
The cold lonely sheet of paper,
Which no pencil has kissed.
No hand has traced.
No pen has met,
Will never be what it should.
A story. A song. A picture there.
A Poem. A riddle. A letter of care.
Not a word, or letter there will be
Upon that piece of paper.
The empty tale upon this land
That is whispered to and from
That is you cannot read
You also cannot write.
If you cannot write
Then you won't give that paper
The opportunity
To live.

-3nwlry

I sit here all alone
No one to talk to, no one to hold.
As I sit here, own my own
I sing a little song.
I wonder if they'll sit by me,
The people I call friends.
I close my eyes and hum.
Then "hi" I hear
I look around,
There he is.
The person who's my friend.
No one else, still that's fine.
At least I have one.

-3nwlry

I wish I was a fairytale
Of another different realm.
To leave my life I peace
Ask sadness to cease
In the never-ending portal.
Be written down immortal.

Deaf to anxious woe
And misery to tow.
'round, 'round, the praise following
The only rule: no wallowing
In the never-ending portal.

A princess to be queen
Has no reason to be mean.
Her people love and sing to her
Up until she finds her sir
In the never-ending portal.

Her children will be kind.
Her, they will mind.
She, the ruler of the kingdom
If happiness there is no sum.
In the never-ending portal.

Here, I wish twas true,
I stand in morning dew.
Picturing that far 'way land
But, in reality, I stand
With the never-ending portal of poems.

-3nwlry

Get ready for the worst
It's almost at the end
I feel it coming closer
Every now and then
I wonder what will happen
What would it be like
When it is upon us
What will happen at the worst?
Sadness is the worst part
It is very difficult
To find a place to sleep
I laid down all my sorrows
So I could try to rest.
Calmness is impossible
Quiet is not a thing
Lying is quite real.
This is not a joke.
Get ready for the worst.

-3nwlry

Make me a time machine
To go over all they said.
I'm my head, in my head
They are screaming.
"Little liar"
"***** freak"
Do you see what they did to me?
Now I see. Now I see.
I am useless.

Make me a time machine
To fix the mess I made.
Now it's bad, it is bad
I don't get it.
"Stupid child"
"Cutter" "dumb"
Can't get leave me alone?
Now I see. Now I see.
I am worthless.

Make me a time machine
To understand what they did to me.
How can it be? How can it be?
I can't fix this.
I should have noticed
All of the turns, all the trials.
Now I see. Now I see.
I am broken.

-3nwlry

I did it yet again
Didn't last two months.
Only three cuts,
But it burns worse like never before.
Not twelve weeks
But it came back again.
I told you I was broken,
You never understood.
You told me to get better,
I did not believe.
And now it comes back
To haunt me.

The blood isn't much
But it is quite red.
The pain isn't strong
But the stinging for worse.
The burning is familiar.
My anxiety backed off.
Tomorrow I'll have to hide it.
So they will not get mad.
Maybe if I show him,
he will cry.
I know if I tell him,
he will wonder why.
They say that I'll get better
But they never tell me when.
They tell me I'll get stronger,
But they never tell me when.
And it still comes back
To haunt me.

-3nwlry

At that moment. That night.
When I watched them dancing at the concert.
I realized I love him.
And he will never know.

-3nwlry

As I stare into your soul,
though I know it's untrue,
I worry that you'll leave.

-Cnwlry