"welted" poems
Never should I love,
For never will you love me.
Never will your deep, blue eyes
Look in mine and read my mind,
Like a psychic running her fingers along the lines of my palms.
Palms that belong to hands you’ll never hold,
And handle with care like you would antique china
And at the same time grip with a firmness that tells me you’ll never let go.
You’ll never let go because you’ll never wrap your soft,
warm arms around me in the first place.
Your soul will never entangle with mine and fill that void
Left by a **** sliced deep within me.
A **** left by my father’s youth,
And my mother’s faith,
Whose knife cut out their acceptance for me
And gouged out my trust in them.
Can’t you see that you are the antidote to my lifelong suffering?
The Accutane to my welted face,
The braces to my crooked teeth,
The nitro to my aching heart
The rhino to my bulging nose
The morphine to my broken mind,
The running to my fading health
Running, running, running away
Far away from this broken house
Where your dreams never do come true and
Where you come out to yourself alone in the bathroom and
Where they can’t ever know the truth because my house is
Where God resides in the attic and
Where Jesus is the only one you should let in your room at night and
Where The Holy Spirit has possessed us all to live a lie because my house is
Where lifelong love is dead at the delivery room
And who is there to blame but me?
Who is there to blame but me?
But none of that matters to you.
It can’t matter to you,
Because all you do is love
And love
And love
And love
And love.
But you never love me.
Each year I have known you
I have reached out farther than the last,
Yearning for something I could never obtain.
Fifteen pushes past Fourteen,
Both of whom fall short of Sixteen’s growing arms,
Which are narrowly outpaced by Seventeen’s spindly, wirey fingertips.
Every Year’s efforts have met the same fate;
Failing to reach their target they instead grasp fruitlessly
Into a dark, brewing storm,
Full of tears,
And of crackling sparks of hope
That are met with the resounding booms of fate
Telling me that I am doomed to be alone.
Telling me that never should I love,
For never will you love me.
But I never listen.
Because I know you too well.
And I know that someday,
Someday soon,
You’ll make the happy accident
Of stepping too close to my many straining hands,
And I’ll pull you near to me
And you’ll realize that you never loved her at all.
And that you always,
always have loved me.
-The Boy Who Loves You Too
Sep 29, 2016
Sep 29, 2016 at 10:42 PM UTC
You know that poem about your lips?
And the one about your soft caress?
Those doesn't apply to tonight
My thoughts are not slow, not gentle
The softness of your touch
Throw that out the window
I want it to be rough
Forget the foreplay
Lets just start the play
Tonight, I'll let you pick
Want the handcuffs, without the key
Or do you want the stiffness in a whip?
Forget the bed, take it to the floor
Give you a spank, and those headlights,
I'll get a grip untill they're sore.
If you must have a good kiss
Then I must ask you, girl
Which lips should I give this kiss?
Is it the control you crave?
Well then, cowgirl, load the gun
Grab the bearings and give them a roll
Tonight, let's let it out and have some fun
We can go on a mission, happy trails
Take it to the couch or even the table
Leave welted streaks with your nails
Turn up the radio to drown the moans
Back up and head down, we can mimic the dogs
Pillow, headfirst to muffle the groans
To the edge of the bed, make it wet
I don't want it easy, darling
All I really want is to get
That shirt off your chest
Those jeans off your ***
Those curves are the best
Lets not let this opportunity pass
I don't want it easy, baby
My thoughts are not gentle, not slow
So come on woman, lets go!
Jan 30, 2011
Jan 30, 2011 at 7:41 PM UTC
A dream once brought to me
Beautiful and sweet
Tender touches of love
Coexisting, together two bodies high above
Happiness and beauty wrapped around
We were tangle in it entirely bound
A dream once brought to me
Instead turned dark, how can this be?
A nightmare suddenly broke a tremendous light
A face above me now evil, causing much fright
Holding down my fight
Screams muffled by your hand so tight
Pressed against me without tender touches of light
Happiness and beauty no longer in sight
Instead held captive by chains of despair
I stare over my own body tortured, oh what fright
As demons grew around me laughing at my fear
Hard and unsettling with an ice cold heart
You pressed your hot skin to mine
It burned and welted, forever scarred
The nightmares end is lost without time
Shadows cast, screams stopped
Outside myself, scream inside, fight within
Nothing more to do, I laid still and watched
Done and gone, I think not
Replay upon replay, night after night
I dream of only what nightmares taught
And watch myself fight
Never winning over such despair
So sleep is my new found fear
Oct 11, 2018
Oct 11, 2018 at 1:57 PM UTC
Celia looked at her reflection
In the back of the spoon;
Her face was blown outward
As if captured on some balloon.
It almost made her laugh;
The memory of it;
How she and her sister Sassy
Would do that as kids,
Before the dark days,
Before her death in a bath.
That drowning, that sad death.
Sassy’s husband had beaten her
Black and blue and green
And she’d hide herself away
So as not to be seen.
But she’d seen her,
Seen the bruises
Like smudged tattoos,
The closed eyes,
The swollen lips,
The hardly able to talk words
Pushing through the mouth
To say: he says he loves me still.
Celia stared at her reflection,
The way her own mouth was distorted,
Her lips blown up, her eyes enlarged,
Out of proportion.
She almost laughed,
But something about Sassy’s sad death
Made her stifle any guffaw
That may have broken free
From her distorted reflected jaw.
There was the time she’d seen her
********** for bed when she stayed
Because Sassy’s husband (the weird freak)
Was off on business, some big deal,
Needing to be pulled off,
And she saw the black and blueness
With tinges of green
Along her naked flesh,
The buttocks welted
Where he had belted.
Sassy had said nothing,
Had not noticed Celia looking,
Had not thought it unusual
To be unclothed as such
Away from other’s peering eyes.
Now Sassy was dead;
Found in the bath;
Drugged out, wrists slit,
Having drowned recorded.
But he had driven her over the edge;
He had bullied and beaten
Like some spoilt cruel child
An unwanted toy.
Celia turned the spoon over
And put it down.
No more desire to laugh,
Just fond memories of Sassy
Before her death in the bath.
Mar 6, 2012
Mar 6, 2012 at 2:04 AM UTC
I am secluded
by the steps of a brutal mind
Written in black and white
numerals on ***** chalkboards
Was I sleeping passed my childhood lesson?
Please, wake my tired, bloodshot eyes !!
They are weary from
illuminated nightmares
and X rated dreams
The sting of the wooden rule of measure
punished my hands
The welted numbers tattooed
on my swollen palms
Ten Hail Marys are not enough to stop this atrocity
The towering stoic women,
dressed in black habits
I do not dare look away
but I did
Time was broken
when the rulers cracked the desk
Ear deafening sounds
with my frozen tears stuck in pause
I looked up to the heavens
to seek answers from my god
Not one whisper back,
I was screaming vulgarties in silence
Lowering my head to my desk,
I closed my eyes
and counted the numerals
on the ***** chalkboard
Feb 19, 2016
Feb 19, 2016 at 9:03 AM UTC
For Idil Ibrahim
In memory of Tim Hetherington - 1970 - 2011
I cannot stay and speak my truth while the front line has no voice.
The carpet doesn't share substance with the blood-clumped
dust of Liberia; Red wine doesn't stain nations and it hasn't
changed the world.
I cannot stay and walk these steps while the fragile youth stand.
Our Sunday morning route doesn't cover landscapes of wounds
and bodies; Central Park has never felt a thousand welted
feet march for death.
I cannot stay and see your face while molten plastic scars her world.
Your delicate eyes have never seen the darkness of a child's grief;
Our democracy cannot fathom the searing, slow drip after a family
massacred.
I cannot stay and feel worthy of your love while injustice goes unseen.
My lens has immortalised what we held dear, but is yet to capture
the human condition; I spoke to you like I spoke to them;
Through decades of mortar fire I spoke to them.
Apr 23, 2015
Apr 23, 2015 at 10:08 PM UTC
In the darkness with your honey colored skin
That was welted and warm
It surrounded me
I knew how I felt
Quietly I said a prayer under my breathe
Let this be real make me alive
Eyes that felt like home just where I belong
Connected to you at last
Your lips taste exquisite
I sketched you several times in my head
You empower me
I erase all that I know
This blood that runs through me leaving me half dead
I need to let the past be anew
Letting you lay so peacefully and still
I ache with wonder what would I do
Fighting my urgency to rush
My fingers slowly find your *******
Then I travel to your place
Why are there tears are you in sorrow?
This well be so special you’ll feel good
Committed to the demon in my mind
I want to cut you and place you inside of mine
Don’t have to try and yell because nobody will listen
Your skin is delicate and free
I bet that nobody has ever tasted you
I want to float in your throat
Frustrated by the words that **** my mouth
I tried to make you numb
Perhaps you’re a little to resilient for me
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 1:25 AM UTC
The rope,
it might be pulling a bit too tight,
red braided and cutting
into the white.
She is squirming and writhing
as I wish her to.
Want and scared are
deliciously dancing
in her eyes.
It's misleading.
Very!
I am the one bound and tied,
I am the one held captive.
It's her flesh welted and swollen but
the beating is mine.
I am the prisoner.
How ever convincing
that whimper may sound,
I am the ******* victim, here.
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 2:51 PM UTC
A little Jesus sort
Spaces between clout
Effort lost
Split the cost
Inconvenient doubt
A little Zorro like
Masquerading whip
Body welted
Disguise melted
Self prescribing quip
Risk and Pain
It's all the same
Self Imposed or Not
Let it go
Take it slow
Maybe then you'll have a shot
Apr 13, 2017
Apr 13, 2017 at 12:11 PM UTC
you are a transgression of insults
and you bruise me as easily as
a peach is welted in the fall from a counter top.
oh, and how i fell;
i lusted for your lies,
the way you looked at me,
the warm grasp of your hand,
your rough palm against my back.
looking back,
it is easy to see that i was your rebound girl.
and i just wish that you hadn't drawn me in so quickly,
because i would be there for you again
in a heartbeat.
Oct 17, 2013
Oct 17, 2013 at 11:54 PM UTC
The boy, with the dent in his chest, inhales so loudly
that his ribs pop with a resounding boom. They shatter and collapse,
sinking to his feet. His life is lived slumped over, never making eye
contact because he believes it is a spell. His spine grows twisted, broken,
bent. His heart is locked away in a bone prison. With his eyes to the ground,
he is running blindly forward into a sea of decisions and failure. His
confused feet charge him head first into the girl with the swollen skin. She
sees his spine and ribcage ankles as intriguing, and he doesn't mind her welts.
He touches her, feels her, learns her.
She holds him, feels him, learns him.
She is his, and he belongs to her.
They are each other.
He sees the world, sees everything he was never seeing. Her welts become
a foreign thing to him. She was different, less beautiful compared to the sights
he was now seeing. Her mind tried its hardest to forget his twisted nature. She
could only remember how he felt her skin and called it amazing, stunning.
Her skin welted in his memory; his spine curled in hers, but snapped back
straight when she called for him. She shouted a final plea for the future.
He whooped and hollered and yelled so loudly that his inhale broke his
ribs and sunk them back to his feet,
as his head slid back into its horizontal position.
Sep 28, 2013
Sep 28, 2013 at 11:03 PM UTC
There was a star in life
agreed, it was much loved
when it sank, it did sink.
Look at the sky’s vastness,
so many stars have broken away
so many loved ones it has lost
the lost ones, were they ever found?
But tell me, for the broken stars
does the sky ever grieve?
That which is past, is gone.
There was a flower in life
which, I doted everyday on
when it dried, it dried away.
Look at the garden’s breast,
dried, many of its saplings have
welted, many of its flowers have
that which welted, did it ever bloom?
But tell me, for dried flowers
does the garden create an uproar?
That which is past, is gone.
There was a cup of wine in life
which, you gave your heart and soul for
when it broke, it did break.
Look at the winehouse’s courtyard
shaken, where many cups are
fall, and merge with the ground
that which fall, do they ever rise?
But tell me, for broken cups
does the winehouse ever regret?
That which is past, is gone.
Soft mud, we are made of,
wine drops do tend to fall.
A short life, we have come with,
winecups do tend to break.
Yet, inside the winehouse
there is a winepot, there are winecups.
Those, struck by intoxication
do splurge away on the wine.
He’s a raw drinker,
whose affection escapes no cup,
one who has burnt from true wine
does he ever shout, or scream?
That which is past, is gone.
By- Mohit Cristo Kalwadia
Apr 12, 2012
Apr 12, 2012 at 7:39 AM UTC
You didn't love her.
You loved the substance of frail warm body.
Which meant not being alone.
You didn't love her.
You loved how she was swift in bed and touched ever nerve in your body.
Which meant *** every night, even if she didn't want it.
You didn't love her.
You loved the idea of her. The idea of someone to lift you up.
Which meant forgetting about all your faults by putting them on her.
You didn't love her.
God ****** you didn't
Because while you were wildly in love with your moonlit fantasy,
you made her think she actually mattered.
Because while you made her undress in shaking hands and tears welted in her eyes,
you made her think she actually mattered.
Because while you stared in her eyes whispering lies of the future when you were only thinking about what she was wearing under her dress,
you made her think she actually ******* mattered.
So no, my dear friend.
You didn't love her.
Because you do not break people that you love.
Dec 15, 2016
Dec 15, 2016 at 12:22 PM UTC
Mark it up, Let's go mother
You are no different from every other
Your callous mind and risen hand
Had flipped the switch and snapped the band
Welted plenty by your prints,
what you did, makes no sense.
Threats were verbal with tinted slur
Malicious punishment was such a blur
Crossed the lines with abuse and pain
Take away my life in vain
No timely love can reckon thought
Not forgiven or seconds bought
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 1:07 PM UTC
Oh I think it was a Tuesday
You were sleeping
In almost the highest spot in the building
Your ghosts never disturbing
The seams of your dreams
Oh what a day to ignore the mourning
I awake since Monday
Stitch my jeans for they keep
Falling apart by the knees
I try to hide the pink and purples
Of each thing pretend I don’t need
Then out of something I can’t dream
I see this red all around me
maybe I should gather my things
But instead I throw them out on the street
I burn in the building
Just to slip out of sighting you
So I start to
Transform in my dorm
Catch the flame and let it
Cool me
Oh how I used to be boiling
Steaming I see the leaves and grass
Oh I think you would call this crass
Now you are just so worried
That all this ash might
Color your back
So you speak your to forest of agrees
Until you see the fire of me
I so welted so red
So sore so losing
So much breath
I think you cheated
But you just took the steps
So I let the piece of me be last
thing you feel of me
I make you choke
then you speak
About how I
Hurt you
But somewhere
maybe a kitchen maybe the stairs
There were pages written by you
Pilled up but there’s only one
You wrote it mostly for fun
See it was so late
So late
That I would calll it Mourning
you were writing
By the light of the candle
Because electricity is just so boring
So at 4:49am on Tuesday
Maybe morning
You
Left the stair
Left the light and the pages there
Then when to sleep
Without a single worry
Jun 1, 2023
Jun 1, 2023 at 3:18 AM UTC
Whilst you nurse and tend your Vain, Swollen Foot
After hours of Practice did Hone your Length
You played the Player; By Mile's Minds re-boot
Merely welted your Soles from out of Strength
Of course, lonely were Rehearsals increment,
Much did the Egyptian wrap Portions complete
But knew your Pores; Thus applied Fortiment
That Stung-Itched Balm by Glossy Herbs replete
The Mobile rings. Of Double Versions heard
One by your chest and the Other near soul
Each held Respect-of-Confections your Word
Then sample enough to make your Man whole.
What else could I say? Save my Starling Greet
Your Long-Distance Call I would haply meet.
(Happy Birthday, WILLZY!)
May 30, 2013
May 30, 2013 at 2:42 AM UTC
A breath
of
stale air
wilts my welted
heart
With each step
it's like nails
driving between
my tender toes
With each word
a cuss
With each doing
a sin
Incredibly unworthy
am I
before your thrown
your precious hand
warm
gestures me
to step closer
It is I that turn
away from my
blessed
savior
Only to be hurt
once more
Only to slaughter
your name in vain
crying
in a preposterous manner
why it is you've rejected me
again
I am a fool
with
ideals of a faint heart
so tempted to slither
sleek
along rugged roads
and bare more than
my back can take
I consume
sin
eagerly
when you are
so generous
so perfect
so forgiving
whilst
I am
so naive
Jun 17, 2012
Jun 17, 2012 at 12:11 AM UTC
Can you keep a secret?
I haven't told a soul,
You're the only one who'll
know
-
Stop thinking for a moment,
Imagine A grey, humid sky,
Dry, brown grass,
Welted, pale red roses,
Brown, lonely petals accompany
the dry dirt around the stem,
Leaves being blown softly by
the chilly wind,
Dry, cracked pecans fall
toward the browned grass.
-
No squirrels,
No rabbits,
No birds,
No signs of mammels,
Only me
-
Imagine a train,
But a train of thoughts
Rushing through my mind-
Engraving itself in fine
calligraphy across the darkness
of my mind,
My thoughts telling what
to do,
Never ending.
-
But she whispers,
"It doesn't matter, nobody can see
you, only me."
I turn to her,
My bestfriend,
Would you like to meet her?
Come-
This is Razor-
Razor Blade
Oct 7, 2014
Oct 7, 2014 at 1:42 PM UTC
I pair my hands side by side
the servant that I am
I am nothing but that
and I give thanks in the most kind ways
that I did not brake the way I thought I would
after your stigmatic body passed through mine
your poise was perfect
and you walk with your hands trailing behind your back
pointer finger slightly extended
the orchid swan
holding in her tongue
holding in the poison
no architect could have built our castle
ancient ruins falling atop each other like
the moon falls into my scorned eyes in the midnight
when I sit with myself
when the ache hits the center of my black lungs
when the melancholy sighs to me
as if her pain is greater
when I know that the true haunted king
sleeps in my stomach
arising and coming out of my throat
every so often
while I am sitting on the bench
while I am leaning on the wall inhaling those gray fumes
while I am reading my book
that is when that king comes to me
and wraps me in his hopeless melodies
of the days where we shared the same lips
and all I can do is give thanks
that I did not brake the way I thought I would
that the wound though alive
and breathing with its open sore of reds and pinks
pearls and hatred
did not slit me in half from head to toe
I know with my skin that you take pride in my pain
somewhere in your days you sulk in the compassion
that I hurt for you
it makes you feel wonderful and special
it makes you feel unique and beautiful
that me, who has had love conveyed to me in a thousand tongues
sits here alone like a cement column numb and baring nothing
receiving nothing, maybe simply existing
if that
you tread your eyes upon these poems
knowing in your darkest place that they belong to you
knowing in your darkest corners that you tore me
knowing in that part of your soul that stood naked in front of me
and how that part hid and wore a cloak of white
as to distract me from those short comings where you left me
with a welted heart here on my pillow
gasping for air
that would rather choke than be held by you again
Feb 11, 2011
Feb 11, 2011 at 7:51 PM UTC
Death strap
Hanging at the gallows
I feel like I'm in a death trap
Waiting for ghostly hallows
Brushing at my skin
Claustrophobia sets in
Always choking me
I just wanna be free
When I have to wear it
I wanna tear it
I throw a fit
This is bullsh*t
I always feel welted
Each time leaving a new scar
Every time I'm seat belted
Into this car
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 11:26 PM UTC
I feel like the plastic cup
that held your water
in a soul-less waiting room
I feel like the joker
in your deck of cards
I feel like a notch
on your belt that welted
my newly softened heart
I feel like the cigarette
that dirtied your teeth
and was followed by another
I played love like Russian Roulette
I should have listened to my mother
Apr 1, 2015
Apr 1, 2015 at 10:02 AM UTC
One night when I was eighteen
I was drunk on beers and East end accents
in a Basildon garden lighting fireworks.
I seared my thumb
on the base of a sparked *******
which careened into the fence and dried grass,
igniting in deep welted pain
and a smallish fence fire.
Inside my skin sits once again the same ache
ignited by a spark you nurtured,
which burned us both down,
as beautiful and unruly as the rogue firework and the flames.
May 6, 2017
May 6, 2017 at 5:31 AM UTC
I met this man named Jose
He lived in old San Juan.
He tried to get to know me.
However, I was already gone.
He tried to buy me flowers
I told him, there's no use
I felt as empty as that vase;
My petals welted from abuse.
He asked to take me dancing
I said I haven't got the time
He asked to buy me dinner
I said, I'm not worth a dime.
He claimed I was his angel
I sunk deeper into the abyss
My heart was breaking daily
As his heart became full of bliss
He didn't understand me
And I didn't understand him
I was slowly drowning
He was always ready to swim.
I pushed away his gifts
He only came back with more
I tried to hide away
He'd come knocking at my door.
He gushed of my amazement
I felt like a lead balloon
He showered me in compliments,
And promised me the moon.
I ran in such a circle that my head was in my rear
Everything was just too much,
He said, Mau Mau: we've known eachother a year.
That year has sent me low, and sent him high alike
But when it came down to it
I'm not sure who was right.
The book may have been the same
But the chapter and pages didn't align
I'm not sure why I came into his life
Or why he came into mine.
He always made me nervous
I always made him smile
He always was dramatic
I was spineless all the while.
He made my life confusing
I made his clear as day
When there are such differing views being held
There's not much more to say.
I wish him all the best
He wishes me the same
He'll never forget my light
I'll always remember his name.
Apr 24, 2013
Apr 24, 2013 at 2:51 AM UTC
The moment you walk in my heart becomes weak. The lights down low. We begin to start off real slow. A gentle whimper followed by a kiss. A wondering thought. An endless bliss. You lay under the same sheets I myself lay. At first I ran, but now I stay. Your hand wonders up my hips. You softly invade my lips. The once cold room is now scorching. The blankets are kicked off. There's no more forcing. Our bare skin touches. Our lips lock, Yours; Oh so Luscious. The pure child I once was now ruined. Lust fills my eyes, suddenly everything is real; disillusion. Your warmth is my everything, my first, my last, my forever fling. The ice that once froze me is now melted. The mark you leave on me now welted. Once I have finished you're still wanting more. Exhausted I am I show you the door. Until you kiss my lips again, you lead me back for more. Insatiable is what I envision never satisfied not even for a minute, never more.
Dec 31, 2017
Dec 31, 2017 at 1:14 AM UTC
Heavy glow; round 2 of this game.
Shameless filters seep through the frame.
Remember the time we lay on your floor?
I woke up the next morning so drowsy and sore.
Driving home, cramped in a weary state.
Gaping holes in my soul, wailing, kept me awake.
Hit or miss, it's been 2 months,
Here I am again, alone, jumping every ****
Remember welted eyes at 2 am in the car?
Remember sitting in the booth of your favorite bar?
Remember silence at the park bench?
Remember defending him in your defense?
Gaps in the conversation and moments too.
If only the songs I listened to could scream as loud as I could to you.
Bottles were nothing but a conversation piece.
And I ache there, stifled between two sheets.
Longing to hold all of you,
For you were the glue,
That kept everything from ripping in two.
Blatant mistakes of our past,
Keep what's to be had masked.
You know its true.
Your jaded eyes kept my sky a sharper shade of blue.
I remember all the times I thought I was wrong.
I remember **** you." after I showed you that song.
I remember utter distress.
I remember removing shrapnel words from my chest after you left.
I don't know how many times I buried myself in the dirt.
Only to be picked up by the girl in the pizza pocket shirt.
I can't recall how many times she's heard me drone.
Only to be written off with a sigh and a moan.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 10:58 PM UTC