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"sandbags" poems
There’s a menacing chill on the air this evening. “Had I the wherewithal I’d leave this place,” I think to myself as the first warning is issued by that unfriendly cloud hanging low and dark over the mountain. While once I thought that the rain would fall with purpose, I’ve come to understand that floodwater has no manifesto except to place the scumline as high as it can. We can stack these sandbags tall around our hearts without regard for what’s on either side of the dam. They’re only transient monuments to ineffectiveness anyway. An assassin stands at the corner wondering if I’ll ever leave my house and its warmth. I have news for him, though… There’s nowhere to go, and the weatherman thinks we’ll have a storm.
0
Jan 25, 2017
Jan 25, 2017 at 3:49 PM UTC
Mind The Bathos
"Have you talked to dad, since you've been at school?" "Nope." "Are you coming home for thanksgiving?" "I don't know." Josephina breathes in a crackle over the phone. New York, a cacophony in the background. A background of cold, and people talking while walking while hailing a yellowcab with a left and slow-rolling heads locked onto the phones in their right. These people enter taxis, not knowing if they're ever going to reach home, or the airport, or union square, just going on the promise that they won't become road-kill. I can't feel it in my yellow apartment. If anything, my yellowcab idles. Through the receiver A squad car rings nervously, then after a lungful of garbage-smelling air, it becomes a full blare. A pause of noise always ensues, just for a second, the entire corner becomes a silent silo of human beings. "How's new york?" "you know, dad called me and asked about how to get on a diet, can you believe that?" Yes, I can dad is a fat **** a pink, white belly of a man. And a few sandbags for chins. "That's good." "So I'm not going to see you?" "Probably not." "Well, you should call dad, talk to him, he loves you." Some conversations, acheive nothing. The same tired, dead things get run over. Road-kill. Josephina believes she is the spatula that will bring back pancake squirrels and pancake relationships. As much as you don't know about me and dad's relationship, I can give you a kodak moment. A snapshot, of a hovering man, pointing at his son's neck, searching for the misplaced vertebrae, the lack of fear for the world --"the right kind of fear, the fear a man should have of himself"-- and a son, hunched, small hands in fists, a heavy haul of muscles pulled into a dark brow right over black eyes. This picture will suffice.
0
Nov 23, 2011
Nov 23, 2011 at 4:59 PM UTC
Pancake Squirrels.
"Have you talked to dad, since you've been at school?" "Nope." "Are you coming home for thanksgiving?" "I don't know." Josephina breathes in a crackle over the phone. New York, a cacophony in the background. A background of cold, and people talking while walking while hailing a yellowcab with a left and slow-rolling heads locked onto the phones in their right. These people enter taxis, not knowing if they're ever going to reach home, or the airport, or union square, just going on the promise that they won't become road-kill. I can't feel it in my yellow apartment. If anything, my yellowcab idles. Through the receiver A squad car rings nervously, then after a lungful of garbage-smelling air, it becomes a full blare. A pause of noise always ensues, just for a second, the entire corner becomes a silent silo of human beings. "How's new york?" "you know, dad called me and asked about how to get on a diet, can you believe that?" Yes, I can dad is a fat **** a pink, white belly of a man. And a few sandbags for chins. "That's good." "So I'm not going to see you?" "Probably not." "Well, you should call dad, talk to him, he loves you." Some conversations, acheive nothing. The same tired, dead things get run over. Road-kill. Josephina believes she is the spatula that will bring back pancake squirrels and pancake relationships. As much as you don't know about me and dad's relationship, I can give you a kodak moment. A snapshot, of a hovering man, pointing at his son's neck, searching for the misplaced vertebrae, the lack of fear for the world --"the right kind of fear, the fear a man should have of himself"-- and a son, hunched, small hands in fists, a heavy haul of muscles pulled into a dark brow right over black eyes. This picture will suffice.
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98
I don't love my body. I don't love the curls on my head, the way they become frizzy at the drop of a hat. The way they get in the way when I do my dishes. The way that they have a mind of their own in the morning. You call me 'curly sue'. You pull on my brown ringlets and smile when they bounce back into place. You like the way my curls smell when I get out of the shower. I don't love my body. My ******* The way the hang from my chest like sandbags. The way they restrict me from buying the clothes I like. You named them. Alessa and Alexis. The way a little girl names the dolls that she loves so much. Desire flashes in your eyes when I take off my shirt. I don't love my body. The first time you saw me naked I wrapped my arms around my tummy so that you couldn't see my belly. You grabbed my arms and put them by my side, and smirked and said "beautiful". I never hid myself from you again. I don't love my body. I hate the way my sides roll when I move. You came home from practice, bruised and bloodied. You told me that your friend tackled you to the ground and you saw your life flash before your eyes; you said that my **** body was the last thing you saw before you momentarily blacked out. I don't love my body. I hate it. I look in the mirror and see the most pathetic pile of flesh, fat, muscle, bone and hair that ever lived on this earth. I waited so long to share it with another, because I thought that this body, this vessel, was not worthy of appreciation. You look at me the way a starving child looks at a five course meal. You touch me like a homeless man sleeping on Egyptian cotton sheets for the first time. I don't love my body. But the way you love my body, the way you love my lumps and bumps and scars and flesh, gives me hope that some day soon I could grow to love it as well. You make me feel things that I never thought I deserved to feel.
0
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015 at 9:54 PM UTC
Curly Sue
I don't love my body. I don't love the curls on my head, the way they become frizzy at the drop of a hat. The way they get in the way when I do my dishes. The way that they have a mind of their own in the morning. You call me 'curly sue'. You pull on my brown ringlets and smile when they bounce back into place. You like the way my curls smell when I get out of the shower. I don't love my body. My ******* The way the hang from my chest like sandbags. The way they restrict me from buying the clothes I like. You named them. Alessa and Alexis. The way a little girl names the dolls that she loves so much. Desire flashes in your eyes when I take off my shirt. I don't love my body. The first time you saw me naked I wrapped my arms around my tummy so that you couldn't see my belly. You grabbed my arms and put them by my side, and smirked and said "beautiful". I never hid myself from you again. I don't love my body. I hate the way my sides roll when I move. You came home from practice, bruised and bloodied. You told me that your friend tackled you to the ground and you saw your life flash before your eyes; you said that my **** body was the last thing you saw before you momentarily blacked out. I don't love my body. I hate it. I look in the mirror and see the most pathetic pile of flesh, fat, muscle, bone and hair that ever lived on this earth. I waited so long to share it with another, because I thought that this body, this vessel, was not worthy of appreciation. You look at me the way a starving child looks at a five course meal. You touch me like a homeless man sleeping on Egyptian cotton sheets for the first time. I don't love my body. But the way you love my body, the way you love my lumps and bumps and scars and flesh, gives me hope that some day soon I could grow to love it as well. You make me feel things that I never thought I deserved to feel.
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53
Carrickfergus (1937) - poem by Louis Macneice. I was born in Belfast between the mountain and the gantries To the hooting of lost sirens and the clang of trams; Thence to Smoky Carrick in County Antrim Where the bottle-neck harbour collects the mud which jams The little boats beneath the Norman castle, The pier shining with lumps of crystal salt; The Scotch quarter was a line of residential houses But the Irish quarter was a slum for the blind and halt. The brook ran yellow from the factory stinking of chlorine, The yarn mill called it's funeral cry at noon; Our lights looked over the lough to the lights of Bangor Under the peacock aura of a drowning moon. The Norman walled this town against the country To stop his ears to the yelping of his slave And built a church in the form of a cross but denoting The list of Christ on the cross in the angle of the nave. I was the rectors son, born to the Anglican order, Banned for ever from the candles of the Irish poor; The Chichesters knelt in marble at the end of a transept With ruffs about their necks, their portion sure. The war came and a huge camp of soldiers Grew from the ground in sight of our house with long Dummies hanging from gibbets for bayonet practice And the sentry's challenge echoing all day long; A Yorkshire terrier ran in and out by the gate-lodge Barred to civilians, yapping as if taking affront; Marching at ease and singing 'Who Killed **** Robin?' The troops went out by the lodge and off to the Front. The steamer was camouflaged that took me to England- Sweat and khaki in the Carlisle train; I thought that the war would last for ever and sugar be always rationed and that never again Would the weekly papers not have photos of sandbags And my governess not make bandages from moss And people not have maps above the fireplace With flags on pins moving across and across- Across the hawthorn hedge the noise of bugles, Flares across the night, Somewhere on the lough was a prison ship for Germans, A cage across their sight. I went to school in Dorset, the world of parents Contracted into a puppet world of sons Far from the mill girls, the smell of porter, the salt-mines And the soldiers with their guns. Louis Macneice
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Jun 17, 2016
Jun 17, 2016 at 8:54 AM UTC
Louis MacNeice (1907-1963)
Carrickfergus (1937) - poem by Louis Macneice. I was born in Belfast between the mountain and the gantries To the hooting of lost sirens and the clang of trams; Thence to Smoky Carrick in County Antrim Where the bottle-neck harbour collects the mud which jams The little boats beneath the Norman castle, The pier shining with lumps of crystal salt; The Scotch quarter was a line of residential houses But the Irish quarter was a slum for the blind and halt. The brook ran yellow from the factory stinking of chlorine, The yarn mill called it's funeral cry at noon; Our lights looked over the lough to the lights of Bangor Under the peacock aura of a drowning moon. The Norman walled this town against the country To stop his ears to the yelping of his slave And built a church in the form of a cross but denoting The list of Christ on the cross in the angle of the nave. I was the rectors son, born to the Anglican order, Banned for ever from the candles of the Irish poor; The Chichesters knelt in marble at the end of a transept With ruffs about their necks, their portion sure. The war came and a huge camp of soldiers Grew from the ground in sight of our house with long Dummies hanging from gibbets for bayonet practice And the sentry's challenge echoing all day long; A Yorkshire terrier ran in and out by the gate-lodge Barred to civilians, yapping as if taking affront; Marching at ease and singing 'Who Killed **** Robin?' The troops went out by the lodge and off to the Front. The steamer was camouflaged that took me to England- Sweat and khaki in the Carlisle train; I thought that the war would last for ever and sugar be always rationed and that never again Would the weekly papers not have photos of sandbags And my governess not make bandages from moss And people not have maps above the fireplace With flags on pins moving across and across- Across the hawthorn hedge the noise of bugles, Flares across the night, Somewhere on the lough was a prison ship for Germans, A cage across their sight. I went to school in Dorset, the world of parents Contracted into a puppet world of sons Far from the mill girls, the smell of porter, the salt-mines And the soldiers with their guns. Louis Macneice
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46
Somedays, the tide only laughs at the sandbags we put up. When the ocean of emotion breaks with waves above our hearts, we swim or drown. The swell of current overrides and riptides pull us down. Move parallel to shore against the tide till firmer ground is found. Swim. r ~ 4/6/14
0
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 9:57 AM UTC
Swim
prepared for any kind of fight; rifle, helmet, knife, even glaring teeth she comes at me like I'm a hive of bees but who can blame her, after all, who's really adequately prepared to handle me she only cuts shallow and jabs, never stabs for the heart unlike me, she won't **** unsuited to play that part she's a survivor, she heals, I'm a comet in it's one bright radiance before breaking apart anxiety makes you shudder like a dump truck coming down a bumpy street depression dictates who you call, when you work, what you eat if you're not bipolar then i'm afraid the three of us will probably never meet punching clinched fists through doors is a cheap circus trick but taking out the anger is dangerous without something to hit because it pours it up, tries to drink itself down, and drowns everything around it my remorse stiffens me in bed next to her sleepless I wear the darkness, rigamortis and black suit I feel my poison wilt her, bend her stems, dull her colors, shrink her roots i have burned all the wood in her pile just getting started a fire the size of my selfish pursuits carrying sandbags roped onto me one parent and sibling at a time dragging the chains of days barely survived still hooked into my skin like the other memories of their kind I stall her pace, hold her back, make her trudge uphill, I make her climb but her undaunting patience somehow persists in her, in me: still, calm waters sublime She comes at me like I'm a hive of bees prepared for any king of fight only wanting to save me, to heal me, to give sleep back to my nights bread for it, I show teeth and cut for blood and she continues to be the definition of grace in my life
0
Apr 26, 2012
Apr 26, 2012 at 1:12 PM UTC
HORNET
prepared for any kind of fight; rifle, helmet, knife, even glaring teeth she comes at me like I'm a hive of bees but who can blame her, after all, who's really adequately prepared to handle me she only cuts shallow and jabs, never stabs for the heart unlike me, she won't **** unsuited to play that part she's a survivor, she heals, I'm a comet in it's one bright radiance before breaking apart anxiety makes you shudder like a dump truck coming down a bumpy street depression dictates who you call, when you work, what you eat if you're not bipolar then i'm afraid the three of us will probably never meet punching clinched fists through doors is a cheap circus trick but taking out the anger is dangerous without something to hit because it pours it up, tries to drink itself down, and drowns everything around it my remorse stiffens me in bed next to her sleepless I wear the darkness, rigamortis and black suit I feel my poison wilt her, bend her stems, dull her colors, shrink her roots i have burned all the wood in her pile just getting started a fire the size of my selfish pursuits carrying sandbags roped onto me one parent and sibling at a time dragging the chains of days barely survived still hooked into my skin like the other memories of their kind I stall her pace, hold her back, make her trudge uphill, I make her climb but her undaunting patience somehow persists in her, in me: still, calm waters sublime She comes at me like I'm a hive of bees prepared for any king of fight only wanting to save me, to heal me, to give sleep back to my nights bread for it, I show teeth and cut for blood and she continues to be the definition of grace in my life
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22
courting the sun   after a cool June   in my vintner's garden close to the southern border carefully sipping   his latest selection     a good year     you can taste it looking out from the hill   across the river valley   I listen to his children   proudly telling how only yesterday   they filled 50 sandbags just in case the deafening roar   of an interceptor jet   splits the air     just for seconds     leaves my wine glass     trembling    three helicopters   slash their way south   and come back later over the winding road   on the next hill   the last tank of the column    disappears we can hear   not far away       over there   sounds like explosions we enjoy the sun Helmut opens another one   of his treasured bottles   and tells me   what he will do   if They come across       he is a good hunter and an excellent shot I sip the clear wine   watch how the sunlight   lends its brilliance   to the half-filled glass   I feel a little bit   like Humphrey Bogart   in the wrong movie.
0
Mar 17, 2015
Mar 17, 2015 at 9:23 AM UTC
wine country
On a lip-crack Wednesday morning with a mind as dry as ice my cold Mojave fingers make it difficult to write and the radio is laying sentimental sediment on a limestone lack of lustre that's as solid as cement and a sad Sahara sunrise bakes a barren riverbed where the trickled inspiration once went gushing through my head and I point a brittle finger at the unrelenting sky and I ask it why? Then you dawn upon my memory and My heart becomes a waterfall cascading through my very soul refresh the butterflies that fly in coloured clouds below And if you'll take me, I will grow I will grow I recall a conversation from a few years down the line one voice isn't shouting but the other one is mine laying words like sandbags against the battlements making promises which, made, cannot be made again I was sure of something but my certainty was wrong now I'm sure of something else I can't tell for how long I point that brittle finger at the unrelenting sky and ask it why? Then you dawn upon my memory and My heart becomes a waterfall cascading through my very soul refresh the butterflies that fly in coloured clouds below and if you'll take me I will grow If you'll take me I will grow If you'll take me I will grow I will grow.
0
Jan 8, 2012
Jan 8, 2012 at 3:23 PM UTC
Carapace (lyric)
Sandbags weigh down the young lovers they bloom every summer like the magnolias My compass and your North Star undiscovered we plant our seeds in the rich soil of kindness in hopes it blooms for others like the magnolias The summer heat only bearable when you’re the mosquito biting my veins so they pump blood rapidly when our green eyes meet Every summer my love blooms for you like the magnolias
0
Oct 9, 2015
Oct 9, 2015 at 12:19 AM UTC
Like the Magnolias
It approaches swiftly. A monsoon of rain readily setting off Naive natives and their tiresome routines. Shutters shroud the windows with irrational security, Sandbags too are placed; it must be a big one! Clouds roll and tumble into position. A sunset evaporates quickly, Yellow to orange to red and BANG, As quick as a flash of lightning it blackens. Pure darkness, but for humanity’s scars. Another scar takes their places As a deafening crash collapses the eardrums, Seconds after its divine light pierces the sky, The soul and that artificial light. Darkness now, but for lightning, Blinding flashlights and candles. Dewy droplets descend into view, Dripping hopelessly through a silver fork. Frightened faces too are seen, Made more frightening by flashlight. Rain, lightning and thunder Can’t silence children’s cries But can still awaken the waves – Serfs turned warriors in an instant, Harassing the horrified sandbags, Overpowered and silenced. The satanic storm battles on Callously battering a weary world. The sickening sun shines into the eye And a torn green turtle begins to cry.
0
Jun 4, 2012
Jun 4, 2012 at 10:45 AM UTC
Turtle Tears Storm The Flag
In 2010, I mostly thought about *** on the beach. Someone falling into me when waves crash a whip into their back – I, on mine, my heart filled with the weight of sandbags packed for a Miami hurricane. When I was that young, I believed I could show up at a grown man’s house and hide the evidence in my **** He would listen to music with a lot of rhythm, it would influence the way the ocean breathed and came salt beads on my skin. The conversation was. The ******* was never – I went to a smaller beach four hundred miles from his anxiety and songs without guitar riffs. I vomited every made up memory, did not ********** for three weeks because I realized the gulf could not break my ***** alone. Broken-hearted. The end. We were so good and my touch so smooth he thought it was just seashells.
0
Jul 6, 2013
Jul 6, 2013 at 2:04 AM UTC
shoreline skin
The curse of complacency Is all in my mouth, I'm choking On its bittersweet taste. I want to cut the ties To the sandbags holding me down. I want to float away Across the seas, Drink up countries To quench my wanderlust. I want to discover the mysteries Each continent has to hold. To relish In uncertainty, But complacency Is just so comforting.
0
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 4:46 AM UTC
Complacency
I am the dreamer still naive enough to believe in "happy-ever-after" Known for many years that happy endings are unlikely and that even the best relationships/friendships  come to an end eventually I am wise enough to realize the difficulty of finding Prince Charming in today's cruel society Instead of  fairytale romance I grew up with we face a world strewn with sexting, online dating, and a myriad of other technology-polluted dating norms **** pics are plentiful and chivalry scarce Hungering for lustful acts of pleasure while I simply thirst for meaningful connection Gaining not one while those around me ravage conquest after ****** conquest Rather live a stoic empty life than one full of temporary careless moments forgotten before they are even completed So I wait to meet my knight In the barren fields of a loveless plane Carrying antique values like heavy sandbags A challenge to bear But providing necessary balance
0
Feb 11, 2020
Feb 11, 2020 at 12:49 AM UTC
I'm Not The Only One
He drinks it up, he drinks the **** like it’s water. There are faces, and files and they change with the seasons. The parking lot has never been this dim, but who forgot to turn on the lights? The friends who gave him trouble now just give him help. The scarred people seem little more than pawns in a game, and he must play them, but it’s not his choice. The mirror’s like a caricature, it provides more distance than closeness. I wished he could’ve seen his son being born, but. Somebody slams the table, **** something’s going on We got him, men we got him, we got him. Oh wait, oh wait, egg on our face, we got played, we got tricked this man is just black. “I want to prevail,” he says, “I’m no loser,” he says. He’s no quitter, but he sure ****** it up. The faces get twisted, now the eyes look the same. This won’t be the first time and it won’t be the last. He blames a lot on others, but he knows that persistence is infallible, like the pope. Nobody really trusts him now, he’s a bit of everything and everywhere. Heart’s in the right place, but where’s your heart? He keeps downing the brown **** keeps downing the liquids. “One day I’ll get him,” he says. “one day I’ll get the ******* At this point, he speaks for himself, for himself. Nobody, no one, nobody else. At dinnertime, he says, “sing me a song.” Relax is defeat, rest is charity, rest is A deep moral compromise. a loser needs a bed A winner needs a mug. he downs the **** He downs the **** god, he downs the **** like it’s water. OOGABOOGABOOGA i’ve got him in my sights He won’t see it coming he’ll be shocked as the rest A **** like that? no he wouldn’t see a barn. He didn’t say, didn’t see his own mother, his mother When he came out the womb. didn’t see **** I say, didn’t see **** SPIRAL espionage ELEGY sang now or never or ever again. RAINTIME odysseys left im babbling rancid The ragtime freaks giving him looks from the left of the sandbags, The night, the night, too long, too long, The night’s a ***** i can’t stay, i can’t stay to night’s a ***** i can’t stay with this ***** this ***** no take these ropes off this ***** ***** take these chains off i will, i will i, no you are you people you are ******* you are stupid ******* these are chains i am chained who why god
0
Oct 1, 2013
Oct 1, 2013 at 2:02 AM UTC
Coffee doesn't work
He drinks it up, he drinks the **** like it’s water. There are faces, and files and they change with the seasons. The parking lot has never been this dim, but who forgot to turn on the lights? The friends who gave him trouble now just give him help. The scarred people seem little more than pawns in a game, and he must play them, but it’s not his choice. The mirror’s like a caricature, it provides more distance than closeness. I wished he could’ve seen his son being born, but. Somebody slams the table, **** something’s going on We got him, men we got him, we got him. Oh wait, oh wait, egg on our face, we got played, we got tricked this man is just black. “I want to prevail,” he says, “I’m no loser,” he says. He’s no quitter, but he sure ****** it up. The faces get twisted, now the eyes look the same. This won’t be the first time and it won’t be the last. He blames a lot on others, but he knows that persistence is infallible, like the pope. Nobody really trusts him now, he’s a bit of everything and everywhere. Heart’s in the right place, but where’s your heart? He keeps downing the brown **** keeps downing the liquids. “One day I’ll get him,” he says. “one day I’ll get the ******* At this point, he speaks for himself, for himself. Nobody, no one, nobody else. At dinnertime, he says, “sing me a song.” Relax is defeat, rest is charity, rest is A deep moral compromise. a loser needs a bed A winner needs a mug. he downs the **** He downs the **** god, he downs the **** like it’s water. OOGABOOGABOOGA i’ve got him in my sights He won’t see it coming he’ll be shocked as the rest A **** like that? no he wouldn’t see a barn. He didn’t say, didn’t see his own mother, his mother When he came out the womb. didn’t see **** I say, didn’t see **** SPIRAL espionage ELEGY sang now or never or ever again. RAINTIME odysseys left im babbling rancid The ragtime freaks giving him looks from the left of the sandbags, The night, the night, too long, too long, The night’s a ***** i can’t stay, i can’t stay to night’s a ***** i can’t stay with this ***** this ***** no take these ropes off this ***** ***** take these chains off i will, i will i, no you are you people you are ******* you are stupid ******* these are chains i am chained who why god
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93
There are ways To be ready for a death of the soul. The way you'd write a will Or take medication to ease the pain. People to say goodbye to, Loose ends to tie... Granted, It's a little trickier when you know your body will still go on After you die. When you know you'll have to leave it and then Slam back inside And handle all the damage done in your absence. But There are ways. Silently I tie back my hair. Pour myself a frosty glass of milk. I hate milk. Always have. I drink the whole thing. Milk makes it less painful when you get sick. Whatever I hear from you tonight, I know I have been terrified long enough, And there is just no way I'm gonna keep this food. Too bad, I muse, Rinsing out my glass. I did love my dinner. I had hoped we wouldn't meet again. In the mirror a girl with my face Raises a debonair eyebrow. I wish I was as good at brushing this off As she is. I remove my earrings. I put on some comfortable clothes. It is rather like hearing the warning on the radio That a hurricane or tsunami is headed your way And there's not enough time to leave, Only to prepare. I am piling sandbags. I am sealing my windows and doors, Retreating to the cellar of my soul. I am Mechanically, Numbly Doing everything I can to minimize the damage, And prepare to pick up the pieces. I wonder What will be salvageable This time From the ruins. I hope the advance notice Has made a difference Because the tension of Waiting for the storm to hit Just might stop my heart.
0
May 24, 2014
May 24, 2014 at 11:39 PM UTC
Drink Your Milk, Kids
There are ways To be ready for a death of the soul. The way you'd write a will Or take medication to ease the pain. People to say goodbye to, Loose ends to tie... Granted, It's a little trickier when you know your body will still go on After you die. When you know you'll have to leave it and then Slam back inside And handle all the damage done in your absence. But There are ways. Silently I tie back my hair. Pour myself a frosty glass of milk. I hate milk. Always have. I drink the whole thing. Milk makes it less painful when you get sick. Whatever I hear from you tonight, I know I have been terrified long enough, And there is just no way I'm gonna keep this food. Too bad, I muse, Rinsing out my glass. I did love my dinner. I had hoped we wouldn't meet again. In the mirror a girl with my face Raises a debonair eyebrow. I wish I was as good at brushing this off As she is. I remove my earrings. I put on some comfortable clothes. It is rather like hearing the warning on the radio That a hurricane or tsunami is headed your way And there's not enough time to leave, Only to prepare. I am piling sandbags. I am sealing my windows and doors, Retreating to the cellar of my soul. I am Mechanically, Numbly Doing everything I can to minimize the damage, And prepare to pick up the pieces. I wonder What will be salvageable This time From the ruins. I hope the advance notice Has made a difference Because the tension of Waiting for the storm to hit Just might stop my heart.
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56
Beds moaning in a give and take some sort of car crash outside, morning’s roadkill people choking on their breath during sleep. I exhale words I do not mean to say then swallow them up again just battered croaking – all these sounds spattered like a Victorian print. I feel the air of another person whistling on my backside: he will climb vines to get in my bed and eat me. I hear night-noises, and that is what I think, there are cannibals at the sill big green tree-looking men who fit me whole in their stomach. My bedroom, like a cupboard and me the same, we open without a key. Across the street there has to be a factory of some sort where women are put into jars for jam and their skin’s the toast – they get pregnant by ear. One hundred decibels given by my father’s snoring moustache and fifty for an ****** that causes leopard print sheets. Then, I am in a dream in which someone large holds me closer than a criminal, but we just ballroom dance. Then, I open those eyes again and dogs bark in southern accents and my house sweats from a nightmare and the hour hands me sandbags and wives finally get to pawn the rifle for thousands but not before I hear a shot.
0
Apr 17, 2013
Apr 17, 2013 at 12:39 AM UTC
an anthology of night-noises
So much **** in my head/ this exact feelin' i dread/ if it ain't one thing it's another/ can you hear the faint sounds of thunder/ betta run fo' cover/ cuz when it rains it pours/ so betta be prepared for more/ stack up your sandbags, reinforce your levy's/ cuz all the payn, can get so heavy/ don't let the water, rush ya/ it has the strength 2 crush ya/ i know you feel the pressure/ don't let it stress ya/ if the water starts 2 rize/ don't be surprised/ just be aware, the current might take waves/ don't be fooled by the size/ it's the force beneath/ that can pull you off your feet/ and take you 2 see all life in the sea/ if you lose your balance don't panic/ relax and treed water if you can manage/ try 2 stay afloat/ hopefully you'll see a boat/ and you can climb aboard/ it may be over now, but stay prepared for more/ there may be a leak in the floor/ and once again, fightin' the force/ bail out the water and find a plug 2 stop the faucet, thats pourin'/ try 2 see what caused it, though it may not matta/ it might help save you from diasta'/ then in your last moment of dispair/ you look and land is near/ try 2 make it there/ jump ship or try 2 make a repair/ paddles or not/ sometimes the boat you must rock/ pull up your anchor, don't jus sit in the same spot/ once you've reached shore/ your not done, be prepared for more/ different obstacles are awaiting'/ don't spend so much time debating/ make a decision, either way consequences are waitin'/ which way 2 go/ we don't always know/ look 2 the stars/ yeah their far/ but they can help show, which way 2 go/ North, South, East, West, i truly don't know who knows best/ Storms will come and go, and some will be harder then the rest, but just remember always live your best.
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Nov 18, 2012
Nov 18, 2012 at 6:38 PM UTC
Mind Stormin'
So much **** in my head/ this exact feelin' i dread/ if it ain't one thing it's another/ can you hear the faint sounds of thunder/ betta run fo' cover/ cuz when it rains it pours/ so betta be prepared for more/ stack up your sandbags, reinforce your levy's/ cuz all the payn, can get so heavy/ don't let the water, rush ya/ it has the strength 2 crush ya/ i know you feel the pressure/ don't let it stress ya/ if the water starts 2 rize/ don't be surprised/ just be aware, the current might take waves/ don't be fooled by the size/ it's the force beneath/ that can pull you off your feet/ and take you 2 see all life in the sea/ if you lose your balance don't panic/ relax and treed water if you can manage/ try 2 stay afloat/ hopefully you'll see a boat/ and you can climb aboard/ it may be over now, but stay prepared for more/ there may be a leak in the floor/ and once again, fightin' the force/ bail out the water and find a plug 2 stop the faucet, thats pourin'/ try 2 see what caused it, though it may not matta/ it might help save you from diasta'/ then in your last moment of dispair/ you look and land is near/ try 2 make it there/ jump ship or try 2 make a repair/ paddles or not/ sometimes the boat you must rock/ pull up your anchor, don't jus sit in the same spot/ once you've reached shore/ your not done, be prepared for more/ different obstacles are awaiting'/ don't spend so much time debating/ make a decision, either way consequences are waitin'/ which way 2 go/ we don't always know/ look 2 the stars/ yeah their far/ but they can help show, which way 2 go/ North, South, East, West, i truly don't know who knows best/ Storms will come and go, and some will be harder then the rest, but just remember always live your best.
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I'm getting ready for a Poetic War all this time been keeping Score building a Poetic Army is a good idea though we are the Elite our seat is with the Highest Command in the World comprised of Genius Ninja's cloaked in love sent from above teaching Mindfulness praying hands prepare your Sandbags the ones under your eyes are nothing compared to the sleep in counting sheep you made me lose and choose a side I pick me you see like Joan of Arc I have a mission to see to the end my Unpoetic Friend and Foe Slay with what I say my words you do not stand a chance regardless of your dance I am coming in my anger in this I am ****** into Justice my pen unsheathed for battle my ink...is what I trust. Cherie Nolan © 2016
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Jul 13, 2016
Jul 13, 2016 at 4:44 PM UTC
"A Poetic War"
Sweet wind that brings me desert dust and ashes Or salty mist as blood on burning lips Sweet wind that carries smells of roads and mountains And rocks, and sands, and rusty wires, and tires, And bullet-pierced sandbags, mines, and empty tins And holy thorns that grow through them And hot, bleak sky high over them And dry, cracked clay embracing them Sweet wind that brings me memories of war Wind softly stroking dusty oleanders And rushing all along the endless road Wind – Now tell me, when the land so lolls in sleepy peace – Kids playing, women chatting, lovers dreaming, Men building houses, furnishing, arranging – All more fragile than cobweb lace That busy housewives sweep away on sleepless daybreak Sweet wind, tell me why I I try to fill my mind with buzz and humdrum Of knowledge – words, and thoughts, and numbers, -- to stifle the voice, the shadow haunting me – The voice that whispers softly, sweetly killing To wake me up – to find myself again – To send me far away where is my home: To prison, madhouse, hospital, dodjo, Wet dugout, earthquake rubble, secret lab Where I belong, where all like me are going – But still in vain, For happiness, my prison guard and mate Me torturing, And happiness, the evil sheikh of nightmares, His long, thin legs me strangling, hanging down My shoulders, His mud-brown hands me stopping ears, and eyes, and mouth – And me Who wanders through my days as empty rooms   And endless corridors of giant fallout shelters Where lonely steps reverberate in hollow hallways And ruthless light In which the shadow of my shadow Me follows – counselor, and silent friend, Unhurt by splinters of that broken magic mirror That **** in air; may some benumb my heart And let me play the game of words and numbers That spells ETERNITY; And let the sweet hashish of words and numbers Make me forget; Make me forgive, and live, and lie That I believe the world of war will never come.
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Nov 27, 2012
Nov 27, 2012 at 6:28 AM UTC
May 2006
Sweet wind that brings me desert dust and ashes Or salty mist as blood on burning lips Sweet wind that carries smells of roads and mountains And rocks, and sands, and rusty wires, and tires, And bullet-pierced sandbags, mines, and empty tins And holy thorns that grow through them And hot, bleak sky high over them And dry, cracked clay embracing them Sweet wind that brings me memories of war Wind softly stroking dusty oleanders And rushing all along the endless road Wind – Now tell me, when the land so lolls in sleepy peace – Kids playing, women chatting, lovers dreaming, Men building houses, furnishing, arranging – All more fragile than cobweb lace That busy housewives sweep away on sleepless daybreak Sweet wind, tell me why I I try to fill my mind with buzz and humdrum Of knowledge – words, and thoughts, and numbers, -- to stifle the voice, the shadow haunting me – The voice that whispers softly, sweetly killing To wake me up – to find myself again – To send me far away where is my home: To prison, madhouse, hospital, dodjo, Wet dugout, earthquake rubble, secret lab Where I belong, where all like me are going – But still in vain, For happiness, my prison guard and mate Me torturing, And happiness, the evil sheikh of nightmares, His long, thin legs me strangling, hanging down My shoulders, His mud-brown hands me stopping ears, and eyes, and mouth – And me Who wanders through my days as empty rooms   And endless corridors of giant fallout shelters Where lonely steps reverberate in hollow hallways And ruthless light In which the shadow of my shadow Me follows – counselor, and silent friend, Unhurt by splinters of that broken magic mirror That **** in air; may some benumb my heart And let me play the game of words and numbers That spells ETERNITY; And let the sweet hashish of words and numbers Make me forget; Make me forgive, and live, and lie That I believe the world of war will never come.
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It's raining-- her favorite short lived season of Los Angeles. Waves propagate. It's all a messy interference pattern on our pool's surface disturbed with memories, tiny droplets, tears from Savior's sky. Perhaps it feels similar to old emerald Vietnam ponds, except here the rain doesn't go on for too long, unless it's a Hemingway rain. It makes me wonder if it's not Monsoon season yet. Our tiny pool built for Valley deluge, would flood faster than any sandbags could delude. She never asked how long to fight just kept on walking cooking and loving until her heart grew too weary. In the end, three loops around the swimming pool in the rain is enough. It's the same as walking 5K while doing dialysis. She sits next to me on our outdoor swing chair, and smiles, rested.
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Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 9:34 PM UTC
Mom two
Desert air dry and lonely, but not without a desperation, blows down tired throats with kisses, which come rushing in, the heat of universal grasping. It isn’t strange given common speeches on hearts eaten and hearts desired, recounted with a coldness born of the same places as the heat. But it is strange the inability to swallow the chafing devils making sandbags out lungs. These will not choke the fools who walk upon them, even as the one eyed hermit, whose sand scorched feet belie his travels, cackles “Well, at least for now."
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May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015 at 4:18 PM UTC
gby
I take a storm and make myself swallow a hurricane It gets stuck on the way down and rips me apart No one ever told me not to take on too much MORE MORE MORE Take in more I can handle it Swallow it down There is no need for breaths of air in between I can take it My back is cracking evenly down my spine Eyes all over as I start to bend Straighten up I will take it They pile on me like bricks and sandbags, thrown off your shoulder and onto mine As you tell me you don't want to burden me You untie the weights on your ankles and strap them to my wrists MORE MORE MORE My arms are open and bleeding Pins hold my lips to the corners of my eyes I am being crushed under the weight I have to take it Hooks connected to strings nestle into the exposed skin on my hands, holding me up as my knees snap and bend Give me your weight I'll take it down with me as it drives me into the hard soil I can handle it I can take it I will take it I have to take it
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Feb 17, 2015
Feb 17, 2015 at 2:19 PM UTC
how puppets dance in a blizzard
I stop as my thoughts spill out onto the ground. My halfway thoughts are nails to step on while the whole thoughts slip and slide to the sky- thought clouds sitting on fireworks of blue. I am half-full of half thoughts and half-empty of hot air and broken Barbie dolls. I am halfway to becoming a bestselling book, an Egyptian goddess. I stop at a fork in the road and go straight forward, or sideways, or diagonally. My half thoughts are half-bricks not enough to be a wall, but enough to be sandbags on a hot air balloon- also known as me, or myself, or I. Myself does not agree with Me while Me endorses I and I hates me and Myself both for they are altogether too self-centered. I stop to collect my nails at the side of a broken road, though my hammers are thought clouds, my sideways, half-filled air balloon is filled with bricks, and Me, Myself, and I are fighting to the death. It’s a wonder I’m still halfway there.
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Feb 10, 2013
Feb 10, 2013 at 7:30 PM UTC
I stop
Spinning in circles that have square corners I'm the new Broadway sensation The moon is wearing surprise pink gel And the wind is rosining it's bow The Marquee is lighted by roman candles That change colors as you observe My name is carved into pumpkins Lit from inside by gold sparklers The Phantom Toll Booth is housing Will Call And the ushers are all wearing drag The Animal Rights folks are picketing The unkind treatment of frogs The clearing of throats often hurts them And we're all a long way from the pond My costume is still at the cleaners So I'm dressed as somebody else The fourth wall is now made of plaster And my double is lost in the wings I look but I can't see the footlights Through the fog machine's oily haze The prompter's asleep in the Green Room And the Concert Master is ****** The Conductor is wearing a trainman's hat But the Midnight Special won't be stopping here Like me, it's gone off the rails once again And there's nobody home in the Roundhouse The outside decided to come on back inside But all the seats now are taken I need to stop twirling - I'm dizzy I overlooked taking a point There's somebody up in the flies I think I see sandbags beginning to swing I can't hear the music; the air is too loud And too many people are breathing That isn't applause after all - it's thunder And my key light has faded to three My funniest line drew no laughter And I've got to exit stage left The curtain call was a barrel house polka And no one presented me flowers The stage door is painted an angry red and it needs to be painted coal black I'm back outside where I've always belonged And no one is waiting to greet me With autograph book and stub of a pen Guess I might just as well walk on home LJM
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Jun 2, 2017
Jun 2, 2017 at 12:31 PM UTC
SHOWSTOPPER
Spinning in circles that have square corners I'm the new Broadway sensation The moon is wearing surprise pink gel And the wind is rosining it's bow The Marquee is lighted by roman candles That change colors as you observe My name is carved into pumpkins Lit from inside by gold sparklers The Phantom Toll Booth is housing Will Call And the ushers are all wearing drag The Animal Rights folks are picketing The unkind treatment of frogs The clearing of throats often hurts them And we're all a long way from the pond My costume is still at the cleaners So I'm dressed as somebody else The fourth wall is now made of plaster And my double is lost in the wings I look but I can't see the footlights Through the fog machine's oily haze The prompter's asleep in the Green Room And the Concert Master is ****** The Conductor is wearing a trainman's hat But the Midnight Special won't be stopping here Like me, it's gone off the rails once again And there's nobody home in the Roundhouse The outside decided to come on back inside But all the seats now are taken I need to stop twirling - I'm dizzy I overlooked taking a point There's somebody up in the flies I think I see sandbags beginning to swing I can't hear the music; the air is too loud And too many people are breathing That isn't applause after all - it's thunder And my key light has faded to three My funniest line drew no laughter And I've got to exit stage left The curtain call was a barrel house polka And no one presented me flowers The stage door is painted an angry red and it needs to be painted coal black I'm back outside where I've always belonged And no one is waiting to greet me With autograph book and stub of a pen Guess I might just as well walk on home LJM
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