"irreversibly" poems
"Hey, how are you you doing?"
"I'm doing okay..."
I'm okay because I cannot describe all the different ways I'm feeling apathetic.
And I give you that smile that hides all the hairline fractures in my heart.
Every wonderful longing is swallowed alive,
I'm transcending my emotional capacity to live and love.
All my cheer is shallow and without substance,
Naught more than a cooked marshmallow:
Sweet and crisp without any nourishment.
My wretched self allows me to suffer thus.
Isolated when never alone,
Alone when in true love,
Irreversibly broken,
Choking on my frozen dust.
Jun 15, 2016
Jun 15, 2016 at 11:46 PM UTC
under dirt
in a box
no voice
teaching about nutrition
no breath
exhaling cigarette smoke
a brain
shrunken
no more knows
shut down
irreversibly
dismantled
in silence
in a box
under dirt
(C)2012, Christos Rigakos
Sep 10, 2012
Sep 10, 2012 at 2:12 AM UTC
Ten.
These are the worst kinds of nights. The kind where you're gagging on your own breath that's hitching in your throat. The kind where you open your mouth to speak but you can't get those words out. To say them makes them true.
Nine.
The rain pounds against your window pain and the voice inside your head doesn't stop no matter how hard you cover your ears. You're screaming until you feel your throat bleed but you can't shut off the noise inside you. You can't stop the yelling within.
Eight.
You wonder if anyone ever notices your raspberry painted smile never quite reaches your eyes and you wonder if anyone ever wonders why your sleeves are stained red.
Seven.
Cold. You feel so cold like the wind that rattles your bones and you can't remember what it feels like to sit in the sun.
Six.
Rip the things from the walls. Tear off the bed sheets. Shatter the mirrors and blacken your own eyes. The hurricane that's made its home inside you needs destruction to keep on living, but you don't know how to **** it.
Five.
you're falling to your knees and god **** it stop crying. Stop! Don't you dare ask for help. Tears and running down your face and you can't make them quit. Crimson runs down your arms with your hands clasped in prayer, you swear you'll never do it again.
Four.
The only thing left in you for now is the hollow feeling. Your thoughts are whirling around the room gaining turbulence.
Three.
Pick it up, rinse it under cold water, tape it up as best as you can. No one told you when you poured your heart out it might fall to the floor and shatter
Two.
if you smile tomorrow no one will know, and you could be beautiful. Honestly. Maybe someone could love you
One.
your thoughts and feelings come rushing back into your body and soul. something breaks deep within you. your whole heart falling down. Irreversibly damaged in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Aug 24, 2015
Aug 24, 2015 at 5:34 PM UTC
Every day when I wake it’s that daze that gives me
The choice to be lost or rejoice in the moment
That begins and convinces the rest of the day
To be irreversibly just as he was
Oct 4, 2011
Oct 4, 2011 at 4:00 AM UTC
Came to me in a dream,
The internet of the unconscious
the place
where dreamers flee.
As I lay down,
Eyelids shutter's close
deep dark night falls,
Into the interweave
we are delivered,
Into the collective unconscious
we go
coast to coast,
In synchronicity's archtype's flow
where all the
heroic demons and fears
dwell and go.
Awake? A dream?
A Balinese on LSD.
The boundaries fall
as the currents of the interweave
take us all.
When we hear a voice
we look around
to
see if anyone hears it too
otherwise how are we
to know
if it's a dream or if it's true.
The interweave a current,
We only enter unconscious
or
is it
when we are fully being?
We don't know.
We are swept along
on the night riding songs,
Our voices sing in
colors vivid, strong,
Sparkling in the black sky
lightning of consciousness crackling
the thunder of life
echoes in our ears
ripping us asunder,
To emerge
on another side
in another way,
Not too different,
Not too the same,
Irreversibly changed.
Our hands we hold
as we plunge, plummet
into the white current in
the dark sky
broadcasted to
the tumbling
rotating
universe
the interweave
a transit to
anywhere
you might imagine,
Don't fear,
Courage is here.
The imagination
runs so wild
call it what we will,
When we make our return
from the interweave's
milky way,
All we will
really know
is
that
for those
deep dark nights
when the eyelids shutters' close
after connecting
to the interweave
I
with each other was
free.
Jan 3, 2015
Jan 3, 2015 at 11:31 AM UTC
The dirt yawned
And swallowed the weather
While we sat patiently
Waiting for dawn.
The clouds were a landslide
That dragged us both down
Like synthetic feathers
In a hurricane.
We did not find OZ,
There was no other dimension,
Just cold, abusive soil,
And four billion years
Of built up tension
That unleashed upon us
A prehistoric frustration
With the lack of chaos,
And the predetermination
That replaced it.
We clutched at roots,
And ripped off our fingernails
Scratching at sandstone,
We lost our skin,
And inhaled the souls
Of a trillion decomposed
organisms.
Our bodies split
Like light through
A million prisms,
But our spirits
Kept up their plummets.
Into a chasm we fell,
Like grains of sand into
An expanding universe,
So inconceivably small,
So irreversibly without control,
So peacefully.
Our energies squirmed
In imperfect circles
Around each other
As the fall
Turned stationary
By perspective.
Other pairs joined us,
Attracted to our spin,
Until we formed
A new world,
To god's chagrin.
Oct 26, 2012
Oct 26, 2012 at 4:55 PM UTC
Consistency is thinning with the sun
Our minds crawl-
Yet race on overdrive inside our homes and out in the damp streets.
Simple static,
A mental block of conscious
spread by word of mouth from one disaster to the ****** birth of another.
Another bag of bones,
Clanking over our shoulders-
With heavey arms to bare with
Another gust of wind full of ashes and crowds all dressed in black with their throats in knots.
The words inside our mouths burn as they leave
There is a kid with a guitar on the outskirts of it all.
Watching in as the faces drain from the bodies in the streets.
So he began to sing.
He sang about shades of grey
He sang about the spaces in between
And he sang about the heart that’s been thrown among one person’s beliefs to another’s lack of.
He strummed until the sky turned a shade of blue which resembled his mothers eyes on the night he learned what strength and will was.
As the wind hushed,
The crowd began a melancholy motion,
with their backs turned to all that was
Some with new sight and others in disbelieving disgust.
But one thing held constant-
though time had been tampered and irreversibly changed
They all hurt the same
Each mind had been scrambled like eggs
(C) Tiffanie Doro
Sep 26, 2013
Sep 26, 2013 at 12:06 PM UTC
mining ceased overnight
boom days were no more
the conveyor belt stands idle
buildings in disrepair
infrastructure rusting away
asbestos remnants
piled high
the landscape
irreversibly scarred forever
the town who relied
so much on the mine
slowly ebbed in vitality
one by one
the business houses
were closed
houses where the pit workers lived
vacated for good
the company saw lean times
its ore seen to be hazardous
health concerns
were raised by the medical fraternity
the carpet was pulled
from under the company's feet
its share value
fell hard
it then folded up
in an ex-mining town
a legacy remains
a gigantic gaping hole
poorly in need of remediation
for miles around the mine's site
the asbestos filaments
float on the air
and are carried well beyond
by the wind
miner's who ingested
the asbestos
into their lungs
suffer diseases like Mesothelioma
and other forms of cancers
the town's prosperity
whittled away
the people
have no industry
to keep them sustained
into the dust
the boom turned overnight
mining towns
know well this plight
Epilogue
we hear of a resource
being harvested from the earth
yet where the mineral is mined
there is the potential for a dearth
the slogan of mining towns
is that of boom or bust
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 7:11 AM UTC
I imagine you to be a quiet person.
The socially awkward one, the one who likes the thought of being thought of as a thoughtful person, but one who ends up blurting out something irreversibly stupid.
I imagine you to be romantic, believer of true love. One who dreams of kisses under pink skies.
I imagine you to be intriguing and somehow delicate; like a cute little bird that needs to be observed from far.
I imagine you to be private, one who locks up not only his words, but emotions inside pages that are shoved and buried inside the depths of your heart.
I imagine you to be wearied by life, thinking about the future while you stir coffee.
Or maybe how I imagine you just reflects me.
Jul 10, 2017
Jul 10, 2017 at 3:41 PM UTC
He called her star angel
lulling all her demons of sins too heavy
to love herself like in ancient days.
She left wings in hell of weakness
to become loved for faces of gloom.
She trusted that if he loves her
he will go through the fire of nether worlds
in spite of defeats and tears
and sacrifce his life to ****** her wings
from big and little devils
lightning perpetual candle of future days
after sundown of her fragilities
to tear her off shackles of human smallness
making faint the ingidence of her soul
loving her like paridise bird the sun.
Falling to the ground like a shooting star
she became his inexpressible wish.
He travelled to the corner of the world
to catch her in his hands
and make her safe in their Eden
full of bliss, peace and delight.
The way was indicated to him by God
with map written for their hearts.
It was destined day and destined time
meticulously planned in scriptures of Universe.
She knew she had to fall from sky
to shine on his lands closer
because sometimes stars shine brighter
in heavens ment to exist only on earth.
Art is not shining in the midst of millions
to everyone and anyone.
Art is one star worth of wars of heart
for earliest and eternal love
falling from sky once in light years.
She fell to burn in him
the light of his own soul
to guide and heal her
to ignite in her pureness of child.
He was God for her and her absolution,
the only skies where she could glow timlessly
for two lips, two hearts and bodies
but one soul.
She almost fell at his feet
to irreversibly unite them in one flame
giving birth to Universe
with Earth for starcatcher
and Heavens for his starlet goddess.
He existed only for her,
and she just for him.
They knew that earth
is a mirror of the sky.
Oct 19, 2015
Oct 19, 2015 at 11:35 AM UTC
today
while smoking a cigarette
I saw a butterfly
dead on the sidewalk
it was neither gruesome or disturbing
in fact
it was almost peaceful in a way
just nature at its end
I wish I was a butterfly
transformed
from wretchedness
into something beautiful
to you:to me
the attraction is anything but
physical
it eats like hell
for a solid week
sleeps for the next three
emerges
arrives
evolved
into the sky
life is now at its most poignant pinnacle
beautiful
tende
vulnerable
utterly free
no longer even bound by gravity
I bet that’s a ******* trip
but
there’s always a but
irreversibly limited to a handful of days
I wish I was a butterfly
alive for a month of this ****
and then beautifully
quietly
lie down on a sidewalk
and die.
Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 2:44 AM UTC
Incomprehensibly inebriated, I stood up
Whether I walked, stumbled, fumbled or
Even crawled; I need not know or care
I struck you my friend, my best one too
Never did I deserve such company anyway
Pity, six of the best and hardest years spent
Mostly with you by my side and I by yours
Knowing what's best for someone is hard
A two way curse I say, whilst it may be best
It mightn't be what is wanted or needed
For arguments sake, we'd squabble
In the name of fun and youth we'd dabble
To be cast aside and know you deserve it
Friend, it hurts but the damage is done
Incomprehensibly inebriated, I threw
Six of the best, hardest years away
They say boys don't cry but we did,
When they said we couldn't attend our
High school prom because we didn't
Behave or act in a way that proved we
Wanted and deserved to go, although it
Wasn't for lack of trying, I remember
Those phone calls, Those late nights
I remember the successful appeal we made
How we both attended the prom, delightful
How your date was drop dead gorgeous
How mine kind of, wasn't?
You laughed Because she wanted to sleep with me and
You could tell I wasn't keen, funny times
Now we're 20 and we don't really speak
I know it's only been three to four weeks
Since I irreversibly ****** up, it's just
It feels like a long time now, I think a lot
About how I'm not friend material because
I hurt people, emotionally and physically
I'm a lousy drunk and cynical too
I've been this way a long time, nothing new
I have problems buried down deep
Even demons too, but I fought them
With others, I fought them with you
Mar 7, 2016
Mar 7, 2016 at 5:58 AM UTC
Dear __________,
I really miss....
The way that your green eye's sparkle still gives me chills
How your brown curls cover your head in a blanket of beauty
Yes I love you. I will never stop loving you.
I'm basically throwing myself out to the wolves by falling for you
I gave my heart to you unconditionally, irreversibly,
You see the truth is love, I can't get you out of my head
At night I see you with the eyes of my mind;
Your perfect white teeth smile,
How your dimples show when you're honestly happy,
I love how you wrinkle your forehead when you are thinking
And cross your ankles back and forth if you sit down for a long time.
I can still hear you speaking to me, how we used to message in the early morning, rolling over and seeing you're sparkling orbs in the darkness, wanting you so badly to be actually here
Jun 25, 2014
Jun 25, 2014 at 2:47 AM UTC
It feels like thousands of needles are stabbing my body,
my soul my heart
when I think of
you and I
always being apart.
I miss you sister,
like I don't want to believe,
can't even come close to
percieving any reason
for you leaving.
How can this ever build me -
whenever it's done
breaking me down?
Flower petals scattered on the ground.
Your essence of effortless
pure beauty astounds.
The most Divine woman around.
Why !
Sister, will this catapult me
into action?
÷.÷
I bust windows
and run in through the flames,
as I endlessly scream out your name,
at the top of my cracked voice, swallowed by the chaotic noise
of
Our house -
on fire ,
the whole world
on fire,
burning,
and crumbling
splintering,
The pain numbing.
inconceivable destruction,
a vortex of melting wind,
& to what end?
What could stand after this storm,
for those who survive,
what all heroic wonders
will your memory inspire?
÷°÷
. My Aquarian angel,
if you believed
this is what it would take
to bring in the new age.
I know you would do it.
And you would Without any fear.
(Oh my darling!)
If only
I could
have met you on that pier,
if only
I could
have helped you
see crystal clear.
You are so perfect ,
you are so needed- HERE! !
angel,
every drop of advice
you ever gave me,
I promise to heed it.
How can i do this mission without you ?
how can anything be put right
when it has gone so incredibly, irreversibly wrong?
I'll miss you're voice in every song
I ever sing,
every Melody I ever bring
will be for you.
I pray to God you hear it too. .
. .
Every time, Magic Maya, this one's for you, every time.
Every single time.
I'll always miss you, please come through , I'll see you on the other side, Goddess Divine.
Hayleo Liz
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 5:51 PM UTC
The gray cloudy sky scream(ing)s
Only icy clouds throw down their hail-on the earth-
To **** the green (belt) with their viole(n)t dance-
And (to )red(d) ( the) shadowy earth- still cries-we are alive-
Throwing up all its war(ren) shadows to the sky
To reach the per(im)manent heaven with their painful sacrifice.
The heaven strenuously may (h)eat the pain (through)
In silence- we are existent-we feel the pain-
The last remnants of the green may rustle in the leaves
Trying to soak into the rotten yellow.
The blue may (stage) whisper in the breeze,
Holding the memories of the past.
Voices from extra dimensions
(I live adding new dimensions to my life)
And psychedelic visions
May irreversibly modify the ( sixth) sense of the reality.
Jan 25, 2012
Jan 25, 2012 at 7:55 PM UTC
I approached you
And the flash light
Of your voice embraced me.
It was somewhere, near the divine idea.
I hadn't met you before, but
When we united our voices
To be together in this way,
I felt the eternity floating in the air,
That kind of white eternity
In which, everyone wants to stay.
So many people crowded in between us
That we seemed to be two points on a world map.
So long was the distance in between us
That we seemed to live
One at the North Pole
And the other one at the South Pole.
It was the time when
The sun was declining beneath the blue horizon
In a ring of fire
And the moon was rising in the same sky,
And the coming night was embracing
The leaving day.
It was our twilight.
It was the time when
The stars began to
Appear on a new dark sky.
I began to be afraid of losing you.
I took the elapsed seconds
To hang them on the 'Lyre' constellation.
The existent seconds flowed into there
With a terrible rapidity,
Letting those, which were new to come to life.
A new time was born,
In which, we became existent one for each other.
I felt that you wanted to touch me.
I heard a tenderness in your voice.
Our feelings flowed into
The 'Bird of Paradise' constellation.
Suddenly, a rain of stars began to fall down.
I didn't know if it was a real rain of stars
Or a firework, I didn't know
Whether we could really embrace each other,
But I felt
That I was irreversibly transformed
Into another new woman.
Jul 3, 2012
Jul 3, 2012 at 3:46 PM UTC
I've wondered how it is you truly feel
A little voice whispering
"This can't be real"
These obstacles close appear too large to see around
Viewing from a distance a detour is found
Questions fly back and forth thrown as darts
Aim but never hit the right body parts
Always quick riling
Slow repair
Running circles barefoot
Your shoes I cannot wear
Through deserts and oceans continue to trudge
Hold hand all the while
Gradually building a grudge
My attempts to please you all fall short
I fail to contribute or submit too vague a report
Head hurting from the flaws I have to fix
Given the choice I'd never pick words over sticks
Because sentences weigh more than stones could
What you speak seldom leaves me feeling good
So you paint my imperfections like a mural on the wall
Makes me want to do the opposite and not deal with them at all
How many mistakes until finally you snap and go
Realize the fact that I realized long ago
That I am not meriting the effort you put in
And components are irreversibly broken within
That more time and energy probably are a waste
The middle of your heart no longer for me holds a place
Mar 28, 2025
Mar 28, 2025 at 11:04 PM UTC
We would mark our places-
Our flower shop,
Our cheesecake,
Our café,
Our frozen yogurt,
Our secret spot,
We would, without a thought,
Childishly decorate,
Build landmarks; but now
When it's time to separate,
I realize, as we stare
Ruefully at one another,
That we marked not only places,
But ended up coloring each other-
~ Irreversibly ~
Oct 5, 2014
Oct 5, 2014 at 2:19 PM UTC
It was called
Noah's Ark
It was a place with
Slides
Sand
Bikes
Smiles
Friends
Fun
It was the place
Mom trusted
To leave her little girl
Daycare
It was the place where
We held hands
And prayed
Before lunch
And before
Nap time
When
Tiny
Beautiful
Innocent
Pure
Children of God
Were
Irreversibly
Violated
Apr 1, 2014
Apr 1, 2014 at 1:14 PM UTC
Well **** you, Mr. High and Mighty ******* Man
Don't give me that ugly face, squashed into a most vile shape, a pitying look
I'm not your concern, and I'd never wish to be for one so emptied
I haven't forgotten how to stand guardian over my space or grounds
I'm liquid in movement, effortlessly able to ****** from the air every stone my enemies throw
Breaking down their walls, their homes with their own weapons, dancing and singing while they run and weep
I can find laughter in their crushed despairs and mangled hopes
So how is it that ignorance gave you the courage to dare allow me to see that face?
Your disgusted pity bright as day and glaring in the sweltering heat
I can clearly tell how you play, imagining me as someone you could victimize; someone weak...
I won't deliver a verbal warning, but regardless still, if you haven't removed yourself promptly from my sight -
I'll show you just how mistaken your judgments passed in blind idiocy have been
You'll fall face first in the mud with all of the rest of these, my victims
For now time is out, and mercy is all but extinct
And anyway, what's one more self-righteous ****** going to change?
As so many pigs are now to be lead to their slaughter house curtain close
I'm too bitter, a irreversibly jaded executioner, lacking the patience to mind God or grace...
Well **** you again, lingering unaware of my rage, you've earned my vengeance as your fate
Jun 29, 2013
Jun 29, 2013 at 9:15 PM UTC
I don't love you
not completely
at least not yet
but I can feel my soul
reaching to entwine with yours
it's tied in a nice neat knot
I love your smile
I love your laugh
I love your stubborness
and everything in between
I don't love you
not completely
at least not yet
not until the knot becomes a tangle
and I love you to the point of stupidity
to the total loss of sanity
to sacrificial limitations
past where I could never forget you
irreversibly wicked
I don't love you
not completely
at least not yet
Feb 6, 2017
Feb 6, 2017 at 5:12 PM UTC
There is a hole inside my chest.
I didn‘t ask it to be there
I don‘t know where it came from
But it doesn‘t seem to care.
Everytime I see a glimpse of serenity
it taints me again:
A corrupting presence
strangling my spine
choking my soul.
What has changed?
Where is the cause?
I‘ve lost ascendancy
over the demons I thought
to have slain long ago.
Again I‘m afraid.
Afraid to speak too much,
afraid to be silent for too long.
Afraid to be me
and afraid to disguise myself.
It seems my fortune has vanished
from my control.
And in dark moments
the only thing that‘s left
is the fear that
something has changed
irreversibly.
What once got close
seems to drift apart again
before it could begin to coalesce.
And I stand weak
before my inner chaos.
My mind is a maze
and I have lost the map.
How am I supposed to find my way back
with this chasm in my head?
~
My confidence is torn.
~
There is a hole in the sky
and it slowly pulls me in.
Will it erase me or cleanse me?
And will the scourge inside of me
finally die?
Jun 7, 2018
Jun 7, 2018 at 1:18 PM UTC