My head, my heart, they are empty,
producing, containing nothing.
Yet, they are stuffed to the max,
flooding with thoughts, emotions, worries, hopes.
How can one be so empty, yet so full?
I am a ghost existing,
alive and dead in this twisted world.
They drain us of vitality and fill us with emptiness.
We are the lost.
Don’t bother looking for us,
we are already gone, found.
I had once thought
that maybe this was life.
No love, no hate, no feelings.
My deepest feelings would never be shared.
I was so frightened,
I didn't know what to do.
Scared of this one man all my life.
Face my fear, I told myself!
But it's so hard, so confusing.
Do you know what it's like
to wonder in darkness?
It never stops, never ends.
It goes on like a story with no ending.
Do you know how it feels
to be afraid of something
that you can't do anything about?
That you didn't ask for or even think about?
Do you know what it's like? Do you know how it feels?
It's complete and pure emptiness...
I'm getting tired of reality.
I know I'm not the only one,
I know that you are too.
But why does it have to be all stuck inside
And feel so empty at the same time.
You can't scream emptiness
But you can't feed it with anything either.
It's because it takes all the space inside,
Like a balloon instead of a heartbeat.
I wish it didn't have to hurt so much
So I could fly away
But the pain keeps my mind focussing
On my true basic needs,
Cuddling being the first one.
I'm so cold inside, I'm shivering and
All I want is to curl up in someone's heart
Hearing the drum of his whole life.
Being inside and hiding
So I can be ugly when I cry
And too loud when I scream
And I may never feel alone
I am from the inside world,
Where feelings are free,
Where lies don't exist
The inside world
Where I belong.
Maybe we are just heartbeats.
I look at you and longing overwhelms me. It's the only way I can describe it. When someone you had is so quickly ripped from your grip, it feels as if a hole were punched in the middle of your chest and what once filled that space now walks around outside of you. Seeing you feels like you're beside me but you haven't filled that emptiness in months. When I look at you it hurts because you don't look at me back.
By Chloe Elizabeth
I've been to places I thought I'd never go,
Did things I never thought myself capable of doing.
Inside of me is the embodiment of self annihilation,
Kindness and generosity are now nothing but fodder for the fire,
I am the darkest side of my previous curiosity.
My ever silent companion since birth,
I've let my shadow take control.
I am the failed experiment of what the pursuit of happiness can produce...
Abandoned on an island of mirrors,
I've come to terms with my own weaknesses.
I'm well beyond the precipice of self anarchy.
Like revolutionary soldiers I am tearing apart what intends to keep me down,
The ringing of atomic bombs as I struggle to clear the mushroom clouds of smoke that deprive me of my conscious.
With every frustrated and fractured footstep I reach for contentment in myself.
I'm struggling to find the safe haven where I'll feel like I'm finally good enough.
Where others exploited my benevolence,
They will experience my malevolence.
It is the worst of all emotions
Creeping in like a snake
Seizing your breath and tongue
A chill that raises the hair on your arms
Your stomach drops and your face
It is not fleeting like anger
Or easily soothed like sadness
It's brother is bitterness and
It's sister is misery
Leaving a stain that can only be cut out
It seems to travel in packs
like hungry wolves
Devouring the rays of light
Following you like a shadow
Greeting you in the morning
It is tireless, relentless, determined
It is an open wound that lasts a lifetime
A series of battles in a war that must be won
So we are not consumed and buried
Holding fast to hope no matter how small
Lost connection with everything,
Lost memories of my own being.
Fail to remember what made me smile,
Fail to see what makes life worthwhile.
Going through life half dead,
Going through everyday like I was just made.
Nothing to make me feel again,
Nothing that follows me but pain.
Deep inside I know its in my head,
But I guess its harder executed than said.
I'll wait, then for that something,
I'll push through life like everyday was a fling,
Till something happens,
Till somehow it happens.