I'll tell you a secret
that nobody knows
no king nor queen
or wayward vagabond suppose
ever see tears from a clown
purposefully stain his clothes

King unto himself
the jester like the rooster
only beckons when he crows
inviting the day to come
before he quietly goes.

I'm here
I shout
I am the one who made it
Out of millions
I stand singularly
Born from a mother and father
Determined to embrace
And now witness my presence
See my face.

Let us join hands
and signal the deity
with prayer, with bonfire
omnipresent being
the forever seerer
sadly, dispite all else
even with all our efforts
the universe still doesn't care we're here.

When our eyes open for the first time
there is a reason we do not speak
no words to express
nor feelings explain
more of difference
but more of the same
yet the only truth
that is known by waking
this world that I see
I accept
I feel
will soon become the death of me.

There is so much
want in me
sometimes it's scary.

It becomes---
a hole I cannot fill.

Giving birth to
a whole other person
that I can not please.

Bound up in anxiety
then left outside myself
to freeze.

Huddled together
the night doesn't hurt anymore
there's no chill
and no ghosts still hovering
just above our lips.

Blanketed under the night sky
we find the warmth of each other
and we ignore all else
even the intrusive barking
far off in the distance.

There's only us now
in the smallest of worlds
creators of finite moment
that hold only important things
and the most gravity.

When the darkness came
it claimed him;
embraced,
then it named him.
"Seed of mine",
it said.
"The light, left you here instead
and now,
that you are warped
like me;
all these verses
and letters remain in red."

Forever Vows:

I promise,
that I will keep loving you

until---
I hate you once again.

Your skin,
is the color of a rusty gate
your teeth,
collapse like the colliseusm
your arms,
flap gracefully like an albatross
and your eyes,
remain a mausoleum.

(EVIDENCE: Prior to her arrest, this romantic Valentine's Day card was found next to the bullet riddled body of Mrs. Hubbert's husband)

The shovel bites shallow
as the dirt flies
and after a few cuts more
the earth yields its vein
the metal flashes again
with its angry face
and I know
I'll carve out a place
somewhere, deeper still
until nothing of this world remains.

Alone in the coliseum
the dust swept cage
I hear the lions come
all people of wealth
add to the roar of the crowd
I offer a silent prayer
in order to drown out the beasts
the terrible gnashing of teeth
persecution offered as entertainment
an execution becomes spectacle
and my only crime is belief.

I've lied once
I lie now
I'm venomous
I'll show you how
Come in close
Don't look away
Illusions dance
Creations dream
Gods can't die
But they can scream
So many pretty things
Block your way
Now I've done my trick
And here you'll stay.

What more could you
possibly take from me?

I whispered into the darkness
and shivered as it answered back

Your years
it yawned oddly

loved ones
it grinned madly

and happiness
it laughed dryly

I shuddered and drew back
at hearing its replies
suddenly my world
turned black.

I hurled a freshly lit match
and saw its form ablaze

I finally found my own voice
and yelled
seeking to make the woods
come alive
with my own spark of madness.

The bruises that adorn your skin
tell me why you don't let me in
that stare tells me what you've seen
from the perspective of a human being
although you avoided my gaze
and ignored my greeting too
the brokenness of me
reaches out for the brokenness in you.

I woke in a sweat
to the sounds of screams
at 3am
with shaking hands & ringing ears
I couldn't close my eyes again.

A women's distress
just outside the window
sobered and terrified me
leaving me
in a ghostly state
determined to visit each room
and count each sleeping head.

This call of the wild
from fox to fisher cat
how the shrill beckoning of nature
reaches and echoes everywhere
peering out to the woods
it is only fitting that this man
be deemed the real intruder.

Sometimes
I don't want to breathe
but I still do
just to spite myself.

Making each morning
the remainder of questions
and the child
I know nothing about.

Bless this life
Bless this mess
Give me distractions
So I'll forget the rest.

Take me out to the middle
where the stillness always lies
out to the deep dark calm
and nothing answers back
bend my knees
bow my head
wait for revelation
sins as numerous as bubbles surface
and turn the water black.

Agent,
you've been made
lost and disavowed
all those villains
with each and every agenda
that ever boasted loud
who sought to end you
and plotted to overtake
through and through
attempted to conquer,
****, break, and harm
fell prey to your presence
and could not assassinate your charm.

James,
no more
to be shaken or stirred
a mortal man
replaced by God's eternal number.

Bond,
even now as the clock hands stretch
and reach past eleven
they will never catch you
you've done your job well
you have disappeared forever
so rest in peace---
007.

Courage is reaching
beyond the brokenness
to grasp something of great importance
that lies
just outside of understanding
and ignoring
the sharp bite of failure
choosing instead to hold it
with broken fingers bleeding,
all---
     the---
          more---
                   tightly.
Knowing,
that the true reward
was the struggle
the experience;
Amen.

Please---
shelve my wounded pride
and without flowers
with no mention or memoriam
bury me alive.

Take my hand
discover its warmth
look past the human debris
and find me
avalanches and storms
of centuries
could not bury me
for the studio light
shines too bright.

Just whisper my name
and it breaks across your lips
tongue in cheek
with a smile as fake as your soul.

Such elegant table manners
the lioness has shown again
as she wipes her ****** mouth
on the white cloth.

Fallen leaves
remind me of you
memories lost
descended and deep
free from a shady host
then collected in piles
returned to sleep
shown in colors
that stretch for miles.

A call to brokenness
A call to arms

Recall our love
Recall our charms

We are not done
We are not through

I bleed for us
I bleed for you.

Strange rhythm
beating behind the wall
so many chambers
fast footsteps
slow breathing
nothing can mute this music
since I hardly know you at all.

Eyes so gray
as storm clouds gather
and heaven looks away
the wind comes strong
and what is left of me
crashes against the rocks
the rest of me goes astray.

In copious amounts
the feelings came
torn asunder
then left the same

The card went unread
the flowers came
but this wintry day
left no mention of my name.

Human is the face
look through shattered windows
of a broken home
and memories scatter
like blinded cockroaches
of a homeless spirit
that despairs each night I roam

Hunger stirs me awake
my body decays like rome
laying in the gutter
the rain comes down
a faded shadow of man visits
an illuminated town.

It's dank
It's dark
where my other half hides
Strike out at the head
Strike towards the heart
The air is different here
it closes in
if you fight
you cannot win
fair warning
I welcome you
come on in.

A man without a country
husband without a home
man with many secrets
human that is unknown.

My name can't be recalled
used up, broken, lifeless
dead inside
to everything that life is.

The day God became angry
His finger came down
narrowed and pointed at me
then separated the ground.

My lungs were pushed in
I struggled just to breathe
and after that avalanche
I have no choice--- I believe.

If there's something else to salvage
other than those
savage feelings
that two people create
speak up
before our voices get too raw
and all that time spent together
becomes nothing at all.

Tell me something good
something I'll believe
make me choose to stay
or make me want to leave
our time is over now
nothing up my sleeve
you know all my tricks
but grant me one reprieve
I'll say very little about this
and even when I dare
know that I'm forever lost
when you see that distant stare.

Broken, bludgeoned
bitter curmudgeon
false teeth, fake smile
as I walk the extra mile
just to please you
and I'm quickly finding
that it's not my style

Relax,
and breathe in the sour mange,
tread marks etched into asphalt.
what can it be?
what was it before?
only the smell of tomorrow.
I guess---
we'll never know now
why it tried to cross the street.

Systems cease
organic beast
lies ever still.

Memory remains
observing stains
of the ****.

The woods are my asylum
I'm surrounded by my screams
the animals all know my secrets
because they guard my echoed dreams.

Go to sleep
you broken thing
you tired, tired
sack of tissue
say your prayers tonight
get up tomorrow
and be ready
to be broken all over again
Amen.

Shallow breathing
where my lungs reside

Hollow soul
speaks from deep inside

Heavy yearning
as these feelings subside.

She's not you
she doesn't kiss me
those times I'm absent
she does not miss me.

Her eyes don't shine
when my name is said
she doesn't like to get close
or sleep in the same bed.

She doesnt like my jokes
or when I smile too wide
she gets angry so quick
that it's like a prison inside.


I wish life could be the same
but everything is different now
and it's only getting worse
since I can not speak your name.

Once the bombs fall
and the sky grows heavy with fireworks
you'll never see beauty again

Forests no longer bleed green
laughter does not echo
childish games become war exercises.

There is a darkened need
to overwhelm neighbor,
friends, enemies.

Only scorched earth remains
charred memory on your boots
as the taste of yesterday fades.

There is only advance, advance---
when footsteps fall, marching on
and it is the nothing that is shared by all.

I'll sing a song
of Sophie
and the life I've left behind
I've kept all your love notes
but I never found the time
to write you back
I lost track
it always slipped my mind
until the day I lost you
and I could no longer
call you mine.

In my shell
there is life

In my cell
lies decay

It shows itself
every single night

Then at dawn
hides itself away.

My heart stays on a hill
always out of reach
just above the crashing waves
well below the lighthouse keep

Salt is thick in my veins
with lungs that breathe too deep
I can not turn back now
because the price would be too steep.

I think---
I like---
you better
when you don't breathe.

Sitting at the table
across from me
phone in hand
more technology than human.

Leaving me
to feel enough for two
as I place my white napkin
over your face and walk away.

That face
how it shines
seeking to be closer
to those fingers that caress
softly spoken words
that call the divine.

So precious
all knowing pet
lovely creature that hums
such purpose becomes that closeness
in your eyes
you think me God.

In a sacred garden
where no one treads,
the wildness claims all;
overrun, overgrown
none can observe
nothing is known.

There is no friend here for you
once trust is betrayed
no paradise to be shown
the path is blocked
no way to return to home.

Yet, I---
here I remain, here I become,
for all seasons that come and go;
a living epithet of past Adam and Eve
I am the angel
who holds the withered branch
with a story none shall believe.

Read me through
then bleed me too
a tempest of words awakens in me---

When the weather rages on
hold fast, seek to last
or find understanding to be incomplete.

When such an old soul, bound to fresh form
becomes left out in the rain
it's warped from the touch of the storm.

Not promised life
yet take from it
assigned to a station
and not far to get
all ponderance is infinite
as human I remain
seeking joy
and clarity of life
beyond my early stain.