This is interesting.
I have no direction in writing this.
I guess this is me trying to understand,,,,,myself?
or you?
us.,. maybe.

have i moved on?
my brain has, yes
but my heart is stubborn
like any true italian, stubborn as all hell
add to that being straight white dude and you've got what i call
Emotional Stubborn City, Population:
                          Me

These poems for me have always meant a lot
They always will
And now adays i dont even bother to rhyme
not always
but if i had to try

Id be something like this
an abyss
lies deep within me
a hole
empty;soul
within me
i am happy yes
but when i see him kiss you
i cant help but scream.

Months ago you said it was a petty crush
nothing of.
months ago i lied and it ended up biting me back.
months ago i didn't know how to explain my emotions
and i still
                                  *******
        cant
and months ago it all added up to me weeping on an apartment balcony in Tokyo.
my best friends behind me, confused.
offering me another beer while i stand shirtless in the rain
knowing his arms are wrapped around you.
and mine are dangling two stories up.
I look up and see an old lady hang her clothes.
gather up the strength thinking,
"a shirtless gaijin across from her probably isnt what she wants to see at 11pm"
i dont sleep that night

when i come back to this hermit of a city, things are different.
very different.
now there's talks of exploring with other people
doubts of who we want
doubts of who we are

and months ago

i should of said no.

then and there.

"you either have all of me, or none. your choice. no in between."

is what i should of said if i had conviction in my words.
If i actually ******* knew how i felt but i was so blinded by love i thought hey maybe if i just roll with it ill still have her at the end.

fast forward and there i stood next to a boulder
in the cold
waiting
and i waited
hours
because you wanted you fun with a pretty boy who could talk the talk
i thought i didnt mind. i thought i could deal with it. but i couldn't.
and that rage i showed then when you kissed him dancing is a rage that stays with me to now
where a new boy holds your hips and calls you baby
all because months ago i ****** up
and didnt speak up.
didnt understand how i felt so i didnt say a word.
its not your fault.
its not really mine either.
it just ******* *****.
and i think why do i still care?
why?
after everything.

in the end
i want to burn it
the memories from my mind
the poems left behind
the trees built in my room
fire and smoke and mirrors consume
i am
so
angry.
but i have no way to show it.
im not violent im not loud when im sad im not an angry person at heart
but im angry right now
and i will be for a very long time.
i wish i could yell at you or him or both of you and for it to mean nothing. to get it all out then pretend like it never happened
maybe a far off day in the future when we're all drunk together and no one will remember
maybe then ill be content

maybe im just overthinking

maybe this is just jealousy
plain and simple
and if it is?
then time will heal itself
but time cant run back
and so i learn

let me be clear
contrary to my cries
i am happy
im happy you have him and that you're happier now
im happy that i have her, even if maybe im not ready for all of her yet, but thats okay we're taking it slow
im happy that i feel freer even if the house i live in feels more like a prison sometimes
im happy that we can still chat
im happy that i can still feel after all cause for a period of time there i really doubted i could

but i guess i can be happy and sad at the same time
im schrodingers emotions
a paradox
or simply misunderstood

i was not all of me when i was with you
and i wont be all of me for a long time
not until i move
not until i realise what i truly want
he's older, you can do more, be more,
and right now you need that more than some stuck up dude in his underwear writing a sorry love letter at 2am. im not exciting. i never have been.

to finish
i wish you luck from here
i wish you good health in mind and body, i know you more than anyone needs it
i wish luck to him, for if he treats you any less than a true ****** monarch so god help his ******* soul.
just cause im not yours doesnt mean i dont care.
doesnt mean i wont put you before him and make sure he knows he better not **** around like he has before.

to finish
pitter patter rain comes falling
out my window
my cat purrs beside me
i take another sip of bitter coffee
candle light around me i write now to you in the hope i make a percentage more sense to you now than before
e adesso dico,
non dimenticarmi. perche non posso dimenticarti mai.
sleep well
i might take a while

15 mins away.
Empty bed with the one who longs for you.
A gift intertwined.
Tonight I lay alone.

I wanted to take you home
From whatever may have happened
And sleep in til the late morning sun.

But by my own hand
I take a away that which I long for the most.

I'm right here.

Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why

Never left my head since I learnt the fucken word
And now my own actions make it an echo chamber
My mantra
Keeps me held in

I'm done.
I'm done with the me
Well, the new me got infected with stress and all
And a fog took me over, Irish hills lost and walking
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I got stuck in my head
I'm sorry I didnt see the obvious in our world
I'm sorry that sometimes I'm not all here.

But **** that I'm done
I'm done putting up with nothing but fog smoke and mirrors
I'm done with letting my brain get ahead of everything
I'm done with hurting you.
I'm done with it.

Lets begin a new chapter
Of health and healing and love
Of warmth in winter and in sheets
Of nights filled with red wine and kisses all over
Of flowers and chocolate,  proof in love
Of letters and poems and movies of adventures
Lets make our own

I'm done with the current me, bring back the old with new and let's start together
We're in this together.

I said you were my moon
I meant it and I still do.
Tides and all.

I said you were my stars
I meant it and I still do.
Forever. Warmth.

I'm worried that my me isnt enough
Because ******* girl
You are my everything.
Please don't stop holding my hand.

Everything I do fails like like rain in summer
No matter how much I try I pour
It goes for nothing like evaporating away
I can't seem to be.

Why can't I do things right for those I love.

Breathe it in
The air
Whether it be blistering from the sun
Or frozen from ice crystals
Breathe and feel

The earth goes round the sun
The moon goes round the earth
The tides being pushed and pulled

My mind around you

When the only life we know is pain, a declare that it'll be all fine doesn't heal any wounds
Nor does it make the future seem more bright

Least I can say is this

A flame lives in you
Unlike anyone else's
A flame that burns and crackles and sings and puffs and billows out smoke
An engine keeping you standing
You,  have a flame whittled down by the demons in and around you, but a flame fueled by the stars, not oxygen.
See when I see your flame I see a light more powerful than any other, it's size unharming

Your flame drew me in.

And now you sit
Your flame on its last ounce of stardust thinking this is what it is
This is my flame for my life so why not blow it out.

Truth is, there's millions of stars in the sky.
And all I see in your eyes.
Stars that burn with passion and love
A sight I hold to the highest of above
And so  I write to you now not as a promise of greatness
But a reminder that the Universe is nothing but our statements
And so let me state here I say:
Do not let those demons blow your flame away.
Shelter it and fuel it with every star in your eye
And when it fades do not stop looking at the sky
For there those stars lay in peace
For eons they burn; a galactic lease
For their time is limited like you or I
And so they do not waste it, it's do or die.
So now I say I challenge your flame
To do, and burn and proclaim its name
For you are you.
And you are gold.

/Do not let someone else call you silver. /

For I am sold.
In you.


In you i see stars that accompany my dreams.
And you may not see them but i sure do
It is not a belief it is there in two;
Blue.

The world seems black. But i promise you there is light.
In each one of us a flame burns like the night
So when yours loses shape look to mind and hold my hand
We're made of stardust, and so absorb it where you stand.

Hold my hand.

This life isn't easy and the stars are far away
So let's use the stars in our eyes
Lets believe in a world to make it our own
Lets stand up and say
My flame burns for me today.

I stand
Head to ground
My head on fire
My heart cut by my own hand
And i wonder why

Guilt will keep me up
Stronger than the midday rays
Louder than the storms above
My own mouth sentences me to unrest
And i have only myself to blame
Forgive me.

it hurts to know i hurt you
to me i didn't see the damage done, damage unsaid and so
i said nothing
did nothing
again, my ignorance slight of handed me.

i let my own pride get in the way of my own mind
i thought i could do more than i realistically could and in the end
like it always does for me it seems
it all came crashing down
and so it turns out i left you there

feeling hurt.
dejected.
bruised by my own behaviour because i didn't know it hurt so much
i didn't know.

i see now what i have done
and that means now i can work on fixing it
work on healing wounds and drying tears
this time whether they be yours or my own
i pledge myself to be a better man tomorrow than i was today.

it feels like conflict's fire is caused in our sparks
let me reassure you this is not to be true.
around us lays a world that is crushing us down with weight neither of us imagined
deadlines; people; parents; 2018 as a whole.
they push us and push us and push us into our little corner until we lose it
and until we burst to each other.

i need you to see that love is not perfect and nor am I.
equally i need you to see that i am trying my hardest to be the perfect man and whilst i may never be there
******* do i want to try for you.

because when it comes down to it
you
you are the one i want.
you taught me what it is to listen and what it is to care.
you taught me warmth and love and happiness
you make me so happy.
i takes a special person to make me laugh at a time where it feels like my mind is a storm.
to help me cry through the laughter as to let that storm peak by for one moment.
it takes a special girl for that.

and you're my special girl.
you're my little angel,
you're my winter wonderland queen to whom i want to share the throne.
i saw stars in your eyes in that cinema and no matter how dark your mind was or how bleak the world is not once did i see those stars dim.


and so they say true love is something to work for
its a mutual understanding to be better for each other.
to work for love on days where it easier to talk over.
my hope is that with some work and time. we'll have our dream.
we'll have our winter wonderland and wooly white odd socks
with my odd socks wonder next to me.

i cannot promise that i won't make mistakes
i cannot promise that i'll never hurt you again.
because truth is I'm human.
but i do promise that i will try every day forth to be a better person today than yesterday. for you.
i promise to work on the mistakes i make, and to learn from them, to be better.
My words only go so far and as such ill show you

i promise that one day, we can be happy.
in a time of our own. peaceful love. in a place we call home.
and where i promise i will help you work out of those  feelings you're trapped by
ill hold your hand through every single dark cloud because i know that you're worth it.
i know that we're worth it.
and so if true love is the understanding and commitment to making sure love stays true even when the forces of the universe tell it to vanish
i pledge myself to uphold this.
i promise to continue making sure love is here with us even when it feels easier to let go.

in short
i'm sorry. i promise to be better for you. i promise to work on true love so that one day we are free.
we will be free.
it will be okay.
and all i ask is you work along side with me.

I saw stars
And every day i keep chasing them
So open your eyes my love and see me here
Maybe your stars lie in me
As mine lay in your eyes
I'll see them again.
I promise.
I'll write it down so all can see
In songs in poems in stories
I'll make sure your night sky isn't so dark.

bad days happen and thats okay
we make mistakes
but we learn
and i like learning.
so if that means i trip
and fall down
and maybe i might take you with me sometimes
for you, I'm willing to learn how to stand up again.
because you're worth it.
One bad day does not ruin a week
sometimes i fail at being the anchor i try so hard to be
and thats okay.
we're learning.
together.
because maybe today wasn't perfect
wasn't good
but with learning
with time, with mistakes.
we can make tomorrow that little bit better.

i don't know how to ******* speak
and its killing me as it kills those around me
and i've had enough.
why can't i speak.

i know, its hard.
it's hard to accept
it's hard to even comprehend
the fact that you deserve a love greater than both of us.
that you deserve me.

like mountains we climb every day is a challenge and i know for you
most days are everest.
never ever ending as if every everlasting thought seems to linger that bit too long
i can see
i can see that you're hurting.
i can see that you think you're a lost cause, stuck.
like valleys we descend sometimes into pits of darkness
and i know you may feel like you've been placed there that little bit too long
its hard
its hard to accept you're not alone anymore.
because truth is i would rather stay up all day and night talking to you about your mind than sit idle as you rock back and forth
hoping that the rug you swept it all under never gets raised

i won't raise that rug. i won't force you to. but ill sit patiently, waiting, nudging you forward until you decide to open up.
before some monster comes by tearing up the floorboards.
when hopefully you will see you don't save me from any false hell by hiding
because truth is

truth is.
every single heart string you pull in me.
every tear you shed onto my chest
every 3:00am wake up call
every help me
every morning hot chocolate to keep you warm
every kiss goodbye
every everything everyday evermore
is worth it.

its worth it.
and if you don't believe you are, think about every day i've spent by your side and ask yourself whether someone like me would waste their time if they believed
you
weren't
worth it

because truth is you are.
every tear is worth a laugh.
every frown worth a smile.
every week passes by worth those 30 minutes alone
every late night phone call worth your mind being that little bit clearer.

and so

i know

it's hard. i never said it was easy.
but I'm telling you regardless if you believe you're deserving of this love or not

I am here.
And i can't see that fact changing for a long time.
so while i am
fall with me.
ill hold your hand on the way down.
ill let you see my weird mind if you let me see yours
lets face the world one step at a time
lets love like everyday is a our new rhyme
a new line
for now this line to you
this time this part
you, are not alone. so do not be afraid, ill make sure everything's going to be okay.

i just finished it.
the book you gave me.
the story of someone who went from nothing
someone who felt nothing
someone who's life didn't seem worth living
someone who grew to become greater than the sum of their parts
and now i lay here
completely engrossed
and i see why you love this book so much

maybe the big bang made us closer than you'd think.
maybe me exploring the universe led the universe to help me find you.
again.
as if we were close before
as if that ache
is just physics doing its work.

twenty one questions led to a hundred
and six months on i'm eager for more.
because baby half a year ago you touched my heart
like no one has before
and like no one will.
young and bold we leapt into love like nothing mattered
because at the time it felt like we had nothing to lose
but now
now we have the world to lose.
because we have each other.
my beautiful winter girl
you make me smile every single day.
you make me see the future as a goal to fight for.
i will fight for you.
fight to keep you safe and fight to keep you happy
til the day you hold me back.
i will protect you against every storm.
and make sure everyone knows of how proud i am.
to call you mine.
to say "she's here today."
you're here today. and you will be tomorrow.
with me.

so
with all that said
I love you more than time.
So when i go discovering the secrets of the universe
i'll be ready and willing to have you to hold my hand.
so here's to six, and many more.

the sky is falling
tumbling...turning
like you in bed
1:00AM lost in between your own two ears
"Like thunder with no lightning" restless.

i said the universe is testing us
today it gave me a hint.
24 hours ago you old me of the earth shaking
now i saw it on stage
i saw the sky fall
night fell
and monsters came out to play.

I've said i see images of the future
but sometimes the universe shows me snippets
leads me in the right direction
and tonight it showed me the direction where we stay, where we wish upon a falling star.

when the sky falls
hold me tighter.
for today and tomorrow it may keep falling but i promise you
I'll put the stars back in your sky.
night after night.

nothing can tell me otherwise that that star fell for a reason
and that play showed where it landed in the future.
where dreams are made of.
where wishes come true.
when the rain stops falling, and sun shines through.

i am no god
but nor am i powerless
for i promise you that i will make your dreams come true.
when the sky falls wish upon the cracks to the void
because i'll make those wishes come true.
We'll stand back and say, truly, we are happy with the life we made.

wishing upon a star seems old but recently i see it in a different view
the universe shook the walls of your house
but only as recognition for shaking the ground beneath my feet
because baby
the sky is falling
and so am I.

Look
Im scared too
We didn’t plan for this
Us
We assumed to wander
But now I cant help but wonder
What ******* chances these are
For you to pop out from the crowd
For you to pick up your phone
For you to pick me.
I could of stayed home that night.
And none of this would be the same.
We could of met at any point.
In the past, too early to be ourselves.
In the future, too late for our eyes to catch sight.

What I’m trying to say is that the universe put pieces in place for us to meet when we did
Because if we didn’t, would we/you/I still be here today?
We offer each other safety and happiness in abundance like hugs.
And passion like popping champagne.
And right now
Right ******* now
The universe is testing us.
It gave us these pieces and started the puzzle and now we have to finish it.
Because everything that is worth while is worth fighting for.
While we wait for weather to clear and sun to shine through,
Enjoy the rain clouds, because next time they come along, we’ll be in sunlight of our own.
Next time the rain comes life will have only just begun
Because like water to a plant those clouds bring me life and hope that one day
One day.
That house will exist.
And sure, we didn’t plan to have this at this time.
But **** it.
When did things ever go to plan?


So.
It’s us against the world.
I’m holding your hand until the day you let me go but I’m praying that day will never come.
So maybe I am scared, but I’m not worried.
Scared because I can’t see the future;
But not worried because I can imagine it.

Let’s write our own fairy tale.

I had a mocha today.
My lips devoid of yours needed comfort from what is to be our taste without you.
I need those monday mocha kisses
So i improvised
It wasnt enough.

i see in pictures
no really, real pictures.
i still remember what the piazza looks like in my family's home town
its been 7 years.
i remember the old church next to it where they got married
i remember the stained glass windows along the walls
i remember the coffee shop across from the street that served espressos in tiny ornamental cups
i see it all.

7 years on and now i see you
i see you in that first red dress.
that first night with locks of hair that made me melt into the floor.
i see you in a dark cinema where i took the best risk of my life
where everything changed and now months later i see you
in a dress walking down the staircase
like an angel walking down from heaven.
i see you in my bed surrounded by the darkness of the night
your breath on me heavy with mine.
lost without a care.
i see you. by my side.
and i cant help but think how lucky i am.

as i write i view each moment like a photograph in my mind, some are fuzzy and unfocused but some are as clear as sunshine.
bright like the sunshine you are to me.

but i know, things are hard.
someone is going around stealing photos.
stealing images.
but we're going to take them back.

because i havent only seen and see now.
i can see what the future holds.
i can see the dew on the winter window and our faces pierced with sunlight.
i can see the nervousness of our first days into a new uni or work
and see the moment we reconvene at the end of the day to tell each other all about it
on the grassed steps of a sunken garden staircase holding hands
to birds chirping. sun shining or clouds pouring.
i can see us holding cups of tea watching ****** netflix shows
talking about anything everything
ill tell you the secrets of the universe as ill discover them
and later in the night,
we'll discover the secrets of our own hearts and souls.
between sheets. where we fall asleep to the sound of our own heartbeats
steady
steady.

i can see all of it.
clear as day even on a rainy night that this time may be to us.
to you.
you.
you did this to me.
you changed everything.
i can see all of it.
the future we could have with some time and hard work
with some love.
without letting anyone stand in our way.
because baby I'm ready to fall in love with you again and again
every single day because
i can see the future sometimes.
because i see in pictures.
no really, real pictures.
real pictures with real people like me
and you.
and us.

All i have to say is

You're my sunshine, even when you're brain is filled with rain clouds.
You're my warmth
My heart
My life even when you feel like yours is worthless.
My everything.
I want to show you
Show you so much
Show you that past these grey skies and night cries there's so much more.
I don't stop the thoughts of the future anymore
I let them come.
Because they prove to me that we can be so much.
And sure its terrifying, but i wouldnt have it any other way
I wouldnt have anyone else
I wouldn't be going from one mindless hook up to the next
I'd be with you.
I'd go to sleep happy knowing i found the one for me.
Thats why I'm telling you
You're going to be here tomorrow.
Not only for yourself, but for us too.
Because God knows i need my winter girl.
And i know deep down in you, you want that day too.
That day of soft thunder with love in sheets
Lame banana pancakes dancing to forgotten love songs.
Be here tomorrow for those, because I'm not giving up on that vision
I'm not giving up on you.
On us.
So in return, all I ask is you don't give up on yourself.

let me lay down some facts

fact is; the minute before i meet you i still get butterflies.
every photo of you that you send makes the whole world quiet
you made me pick up my guitar again
you made want to pick up the microphone again
the violin
to sit down at the piano and learn.
you made me want to be better not only for myself, but for you.

fact is; the smell of your hair can send me to sleep
the sight of your eyes can make the floor seem steep
i'm falling.
the touch from your hands set me on fire
the taste from your lips like sweet oxygen brings me back to life
as if for the moments before, i wasnt really alive.
the sound of your voice makes everyone else's fade away...

fact is; your laugh
oh my dear girl your laugh....
makes me smile like angels are singing.
and your cry
makes my arms automatically fall open
aching for you to be within them
because darling within them
no one can hurt you
no one can touch you
and everything is okay.

fact is; you taught me that i can trust again
you taught me what making love means
truly means.
because in the winter we learnt what it means together
and i wouldn't of had it any other way.

fact is; i cant stand the thought of you being hurt.
so i ask when i seem too persistent or annoying when asking you
it's only because i care.

fact is; when it feels like no ones out there
when it feels like the world is too big to handle
i promise you i'm still here
i promise you i'll hold your hand
i promise you that everything will be alright
because i care.
because i will do anything to make sure you're safe.

fact is;

...you're the first and last thing i think about in the day.
if my pillows could read minds
my bedsheets would be covered in your name.

fact is;

I love you.


and i just thought maybe you needed reminding of that.

we say we don't like talking about the future
and that's fine
but baby you told me a dream of yours in a winter wonderland
of our own
and maybe just maybe
the future doesn't seem so bleak

i walked into the room tea in hand
to see you in my sheets
wearing my shirt because it "smells like comfort"
i cannot express how i felt in that moment
in similes i can try
its as if the horizon of ideas in my mind had a sun setting across it
as if beauty in its most pure and natural form laid out in-front of me
mother nature sending beams of orange yellow purple light across
my minds sky
and there you lie.
as peaceful as soft water falls out in the wild
your wild hair fell onto my pillows like golden silk

comfortable.

this i haven't felt before.
to be in complete awe at the sight of someone who deserves nothing but the best in all the little things in this big world
little like bedsheets and cold cups of tea
little like hands gliding up and down your soft skin
little like little naps before having to rush off back to "home"
i wish you didnt have to rush off.
because falling asleep with you in my arms is a sight i can get used to.

we had a night filled with ecstasy to bliss to peacefulness.
here's to many more

i wish
instead of texting goodnight
i could say come here
sleep here
escape with me.
             to me.
then whisper it in your ear.

I see you in moments
I see you kissing in the rain
I see you holding my hand on the train
I see you listening to my rants
I see you talking back to me
Talking and talking
Please don't stop talking
Your voice, like all of you, is beautiful.

I see you waking up next to me
I see you;us in bed, giving pleasure in it's most pure form
I see you;us in cute cafes sharing mocha kisses to some lousy music
I see you crying
I see you laughing
I see you feeling

I see you in every single way there is
I see you in every way I imagined the perfect girl to be, and here you are.
Realized. Alive.

I see you;us out on a country road, singing poorly to overplayed radio songs
I see you;us taking in views everywhere
I see you everywhere
In every flower pedal
In every grey cloud or
In every blue sky
I see you looking back up at me through the reflection made in my coffee mug
Because the warmth and comfort it provides reminds me of you.
Every little cup of tea.
Every little thing
Little you.

And so I see you in every moment there is.
Because you are everything I could of hoped for and more.

I see you with me
And for that, I smile.

Dimmi che vuoi
E ti darò che devi

Falling asleep to the sound of  rain running down roof tiles
Come here
Sleep in this bed with me and listen to the rain too
Wrapped up in sheets
Thunder.
I'll hold you.
Whisper sweet things in your ear until you fall asleep.
And kiss you softly until your head falls back to the pillow.

Ocean side
Feet in the sand
Let's watch stars fall
I'll kiss you as water swells
Grab me closer
Breathe me in
I need you like oxygen.
Like the ocean needs its water

timeless and priceless
your voice through a crackling phone
is still music to my ears
even when you're miles and miles away

you make me want to drop everything
for a week or two
and run
drive out to no where
where no one can see us
know where we go is our little temporary home
sleeping under stars with you would make them that little bit clearer to see
see the sea at sunset sitting out the back of a cheap car
a movie
directed by God
written by Mother Nature
"sunset sweethearts"
so lets make our own little movie
lets explore everywhere
everywhere.
run with me.

i never expected any of this to happen
but here we are
winter has begun
and now you shine as my own little sun

so remember to breathe,
when you get back i'll still be here.
when you're there hold the watch to your heart
chest filled
eyes closed
steady
                                                                                                       steady
steady
im here
and there
for you

your monsters hide in the darkest corners of the mind
but remember that the pen is mightier than the sword.
and with every word you write
every one of my words you read
those monsters get slain day by day
so listen to me as i say and say
again
i love you.
even when you can't love yourself
so that one day you might learn how to.

It rains properly for the first time in weeks,
In the low clouds i see a mirror with your reflection
Umbrellas hiding the faces of the people around us
While they look away, kiss me.
In the rain

Winter arrives my love
The smell of damp flowers brings comfort complimenting yours.

curiosity doesn't **** the cat
not in my case.
curiosity itself kills me
looking into the box
and seeing a cat
that ; is what helps me survive
whether its dead or alive

i play words like my violin
smoothly at times but harsh and rough when i forget how to play
forget what words to use
how my bow slides across
how too much vibrato can make it all sound fake
how hyperbole can make it all sound fake
motifs scattered throughout
taint the sound the words
with familiarity with nuance
with you my dear
there is no hyperbole
no vibrato needed
no need for such accenting
for you make my words
my sound smooth as chocolate from the get go


for i never understood what it meant for a kiss to be sweet,
until my lips met yours.
for i never understood what it meant for a person to be warm,
until my arms wrapped around you.
you were warm to me
accepted me even though every inch of you was scared to
was telling you to back down
and i cannot thank you enough for that

you say that your pieces are scattered
the truth is, so are mine
so lets let two perspectives persist and permit
a love that leaves lies behind and lets lips be
so that broken pieces on the floor can not be looked at as flaws
but as scores
as scars
of a past that continues to be made
only now, every atom of me wants that past to be made with you
but unfortunately my past is cursed. so, lets stay in the present.  
so that maybe our puzzle pieces when put together
present a picture

of us

in our own winter wonderland where the world can stop.
and we can love.
for i've discovered in all of our broken pieces.
that
I love you.

i found you
and i found this little clock
at very different times
but in the same time now

it ticks on when you feel like you cant
it ticks on when you wind it each morning
setting its motions into play so that it has a good ticking day,
like how we must work ourselves up to have our own good day
it ticks on during any dark hour
it ticks on when you need it to
when the world feels like its closing in
and getting faster and faster
hold it up and listen
steady
steady
steady

so keep it close for the times ahead
keep it ticking like a temporal anchor
keeping you steady through rough winds and waters
close to your ear, close to your chest, hold it and remember

it serves in place of me
when it feels like im too far
when we havent talked in a time
let this piece of time remind you
to unwind
to breathe
because i will still be here
and all i ask, is that you stay too.

stay strong my dear winter girl.

As a kid growing up
All the way up til now
The one super power I've always wished for
Is to stop time

Because I've had problems
with saving the moment I have
Everything else seems to get in the way

But then you came along
And now my super power is any moment I have with you
Because in those moments the rest of the world stops for a little while
Time stops for a little while

And now in my pocket
A polaroid lies
And let's me stop time whenever I need
Whenever I look at you

So it seems my wish came true
Because now, I have you.

there are nights where i stay up daydreaming of a wonderland

a wonderland of vignetted sepia books and tea stained lips,
a wonderland where the sun hides for a while, and lets us be real
a wonderland where no one else exists
so that my arms persist on staying around you

a wonderland where my hands lay in yours
while we read sappy poetry
poetry no one else we know would find interesting
but poetry that means the world to us;

a wonderland where rain falls in my backyard on orange trees
to the setting of our eyes like big blue seas
never parting
leaves rustling

a wonderland where music plays and sways so sway with me
to a light thunder storm
and kiss me slowly
so we can keep each others lips warm

because its cold in our winter wonderland
but a little cold never stopped anyone
a little cold in life slows us down, but we put on our jumpers and forge on

so forge on
my dear winter girl,
because i know that sometimes
a house isn't really a home
and it gets hard when I'm alone
so come whenever you feel like you cant stand
and lay with me, in our own winter wonderland.