I'm a Gungan from the planet Naboo and my name is Jar Jar Binks.
Senator Padme put me in charge once even though I don't even have the ability to think.
George Lucas brought me to life with a computer, I'm a product of CGI.
Because many Star Wars fans find me irritating, they want me to die.
Many people hate everything about me, they hate my voice, my six foot tongue and my orange skin.
Now that the prequels are over, those people are thankful that they'll never have to see me again.

A great actor has died and is gone for eternity.
Jay North has died at the age of seventy-three.
He got up to mischief when he starred in Dennis The Menace.
We all have a little mischief in us.
He began starring in "Dennis The Menace" at the age of seven.
After living for over seven decades, he died and went to Heaven.
North starred as Dennis from 1959 to 1963.
It's sad to know that he's gone for eternity.

Some people think that Jehovah God isn't real because he's invisible.
They assume that he's not real because his existence isn't physical.
Air is also invisible and everybody knows that it exists.
The Lord is just as real and that is something that I'll always insist.
If you turn to him, he will help you cope with any ordeal.
Jehovah is a wonderful supernatural being and he is real.

The almighty Jehovah is my Master, he is the one who I serve.
He has my love and obedience and that is what he deserves.
If loving God is wrong, I don't want to be right.
He is my best friend, I praise him day and night.

Having faith in Jehovah can move mountains, that is true.
I hope that you love him because he certainly loves you.
Jehovah can also be your best friend, turning to him makes plenty of sense.
He will always be with you if he has your love and obedience.

Jehovah created the land and the seas.
He loves everybody, including you and me.
Jehovah's love for us has no bounds.
He's a friend who is always around.
In a world that has been consumed by violence and greed,
Each and every one of us needs Jehovah indeed.
He will take away your pain and wipe away your tears.
If you're depressed, remember that God is always here.

We had some visitors that came from outer space.
Those aliens came here to enslave the Human race.
I met the leader and he demanded that I bow down before him.
He said that if I didn't, our galaxy would meet a fate that was grim.
I told that alien **** that I only bow down before the almighty Jehovah.
The alien leader got so mad that he said they would destroy our galaxy by causing a Supernova.
But God wiped out the aliens with bolts of lightning.
Jehovah God was victorious because he is a king.
Jehovah stopped those aliens from causing chaos.
He showed those alien fiends that he is the boss.

Jerry Stiller has died at the age of 92, he lived to a ripe old age.
He starred in movies, television shows and also on stage.
Jerry starred in both "Seinfeld" and "The King of Queens".
He also starred in "My 5 Wives", "Hairspray" and "Sweet 15".

In 2012, he provided the voice of General X in "Foodfight!".
He guest-starred on "Rhoda" and "In The Heat of The Night".
He also guest-starred on "The Love Boat" and "Archie Bunker's Place".
Jerry was a talented actor and he was also a credit to the Human Race.

Jesus cured a blind man who had been blind since the day of his birth.
Jesus put clay on his eyes that he made when he spat and mixed the spittle with earth.
Jesus told him to go wash in the pool of Siloam after he put the clay on his eyes.
When he did this, he could see and people were in for a very big surprise.
When they saw that he could see, some thought that it wasn't the same man.
When they saw that he now had sight, it was hard for them to understand.
But all that they needed to understand was that it was a miracle that Jesus performed.
Because of Jesus and his father, a man could see who had been blind since he was born.

Jesus left Heaven to be one of us and God allowed his only son to go.
Jesus died so that people will not be sent to the Lake of Fire below.
Jesus performed miracles.
He was truly remarkable.
When Jesus was on Earth, I know that God missed him.
Jesus was tempted by Satan but he was able to resist him.
When people steal, ****, do drugs and other bad things, they will pay.
They will try but fail to hide on Judgement Day.

When people do us wrong, Jesus doesn't want us to retaliate.
He is the Son of God so his words are something we should contemplate.
When Jesus was arrested, he didn't retaliate even though people slapped him and punched him with their fists.
When we want to retaliate against others, Jesus wants us to resist.
Jesus wants everybody to live in peace, he wants us to be meek.
When people do us wrong, Jesus wants us to turn the other cheek.

He was my neighbor for over forty years and his name was Jim.
When I think about what a good man should be like, I think of him.
He and my uncle were former co-workers and friends.
It was sad when I learned that his life came to an end.

Many people know that he was a credit to the Human Race.
Poor Jim's life has ended but now he's in a far better place.
When a man goes to Heaven, he celebrates his greatest reward.
Nothing can be better than being in Paradise with The Lord.

We became neighbors in 1977 and that was a long time ago.
I used to listen to some beautiful music when he played his banjo.
When I say that he was a good man, it certainly isn't a lie.
His family and friends are shedding tears as they say goodbye.

I have a wonderful neighbor and his name is Joe.
He's a person and a friend who I'm proud to know.
He's been my neighbor and my friend for twenty years.
I'm glad that he lives in this neighborhood, I'm glad he's here.
Sometimes he gives me food and that is very nice.
He is a Christian who loves God and that is precise.
It's nice to have a neighbor and a friend who is so great.
He has been good to me and that is something I appreciate.

He was born in Groesbeck, Texas and his name was Joe Don Baker.
Sadly, after living for nearly nine decades, he needed an undertaker.
He attended North Texas State College on a sports scholarship.
He starred in "The Living Daylights", "Cape Fear" and "Joysticks".
When I say that he was a very talented man, it's not a joke.
He died of lung cancer which proves that people shouldn't smoke.
After living for eighty-nine years, he perished and it's a shame.
Joe Don Baker was a skilled actor who was destined for fame.

John Brown died in 2019, it's sad and it's true.
If he hadn't died, today he would've turned 52.
We met at Bean Station Elementary School in 1979.
We quickly became friends, he was a buddy of mine.
But during the last few years of his life, he caused a lot of grief.
He didn't want to pay back what he owed and he became a thief.
When my back was turned, he swiped twenty of my pills.
I wish that it was just a bad dream but sadly, it was real.
I didn't know that John would turn to drugs when I was a kid.
mark my words, if you do drugs, you will die just like he did.

My grandmother and his father were first cousins, and that made us related.
When he died on the 3rd of June, his death wasn't something that I anticipated.
When a person dies, it's something that people hate.
He has gone to Heaven at the young age of forty-eight.
His mother named him after John Wayne, the deceased movie star.
Now Heaven is the place where both my friend and John Wayne are.
It's always hard to lose a member of the Human Race.
John is dead but he is in a far better place.

Just one month ago, you were walking around.  
But now you're dead and buried in the ground.
So much can change in just the blink of an eye.
You went too soon, forty-eight was too young to die.
Forty years ago in 1979, we became friends.
I wish that your life hadn't come to an end.
On the 3rd day of June, you took your final breath.
You overdosed on drugs and it caused your death.
Because you were a drug user, you didn't survive.
Drugs eventually ****, that's why you're no longer alive.

I've always said no to drugs but my friend didn't do the same.
When a person dies of an overdose, it's always a **** shame.
John learned the hard way that a man reaps what he sews.
Every time drugs were offered to him, I wish he had said no.
I'm not certain what he overdosed on, it may have been ****.
When my friend of forty years overdosed, he drew his last breath.
I recently read that **** damages the lungs, kidneys, liver, heart and brain.
John might have rejected **** if that was something he could've ascertained.
Years ago, I tried to convince him to get some help but my words always fell on deaf ears.
He was forty-eight but if he had said no to drugs, he could've lived for many more years.

Even though you did me wrong, I've written a few poems about you.
You came in my house and stole some pills, that was a bad thing to do.
You also borrowed some money but didn't repay what you owed.
Sadly, you can't celebrate this Christmas because you died half a year ago.
This will be the first Christmas since 1969 that you're not alive.
You died six months ago today, you weren't able to survive.
You had a heart murmur but half a year ago, your heart stopped beating.
When it came to death, it was something you had no chance of defeating.

After Jonah got out of the whale, he went to the city of Nineveh and warned the Ninevites.
He told them that God was going to destroy them because they weren't doing what was right.
God was going to destroy them in forty days because of the evil they had done in the present and the past.
The King heeded the warning and he and everybody else covered themselves with sackcloth and began to fast.
The Ninevites turned from their evil ways after they were warned.
God saw that they had changed and he was no longer scorned.
God spared the Ninevites because they were no longer unfit.
Jehovah isn't a harsh God and that sure did prove it.

Judgement Day is coming, God will eventually have all that he can take.
People will pay for their sins and the Commandments that they break.
People will hide under rocks because they'll be so scared.
But they need not hide, God will know that they are there.
When certain people face Judgement, they'll be in big trouble.
I suggest that these people change their ways on the double.
You may not believe that Judgement Day is coming but it will be here.
And with all of the wickedness in this world, that day may be near.

King Solomon received a gift from the Lord, the gift of being wise.
He was able to use his great wisdom to see through people's lies.
When a woman stole a baby, she told King Solomon to cut him in two.
The other lady begged Solomon to give the baby to the thief and he knew that was what the true mother would do.
Perhaps God has given as much wisdom to some others because only he can.
If I only had ten percent of King Solomon's wisdom, I would be a better man.

The Kool-Aid Man isn't cool at all, he's actually a ****.
He's a low life **** bag who poisons people with drugs.
He puts the drugs in the kool-aid, mostly ******* and ****.
He doesn't care that his products cause addiction and death.
He doesn't care who he hurts just as long as he gets paid.
The cops just found his hideout, it's a raid.
He fired at the police because he's out of control.
The police just opened fire and filled him full of holes.
But instead of spilling blood, kool-aid was what was spilled.
Everybody can rest easy because the Kool-Aid Man has been killed.
That's the end of the Kool-Aid Man distributing coke and ****.
The Kool-Aid Man flipped off the cops with his final breath.
The Kool-Aid Man fought the law but he didn't win.
That fat and bloated punk will never say "Oh Yeah!" again.

My name is Timmy and I had a dog named Lassie.
My father is an alcoholic and my mother is sassy.
Mom has affairs with every man who comes to town.
When it comes to Mom, you'd better believe she's been around.
My mom is pregnant but it isn't Dad's baby.
I had to shoot Lassie because she had rabies.
But before I could shoot her, she sank her teeth into my *****.
I had to get some painful shots and I didn't like that at all.
Lassie got out because Dad was drunk and didn't shut the door.
Lassie got in a fight with a rabid wolf and my ***** are still sore.
I constantly daydream about being kidnapped.
I want somebody to take me away from this crap.
My mom is the loosest woman in town and my dad stays plastered.
Mom and Dad never got married so I guess that makes me a *******.

Martin Luther King JR. has his own holiday, God should be given a holiday too.
God deserves to be given a holiday, that is what our Government should do.
God's son has his own holiday, God also deserves a holiday that is celebrated every year.
God is the greatest, he loves all of Mankind and he deserves to be revered.

Every time we make a good choice,
it makes Jehovah God rejoice.
When we're honest and kind and do other good things,
Jehovah God is very happy, rejoice is what it brings.
When we avoid sinning, it makes God rejoice and it makes Satan mad.
Everybody should make Satan angry because that will make God glad.

You died in 2023 and your dad died in 1977.
After living for 54 years, you went to Heaven.
You have lost your life and that is very sad.
Now you have been reunited with your dad.
You did charity work just like your father did.
Your dad loved you and you were his only kid.
As your fans grieve, they're sad and depressed.
Your life ended after you went into cardiac arrest.
When CPR was performed, your heart was restarted.
But you still died and your fans are broken-hearted.
You died a few weeks before you would've turned 55.
Your fans are devastated because you didn't survive.

We have very little money so we're living in our truck.
We are in need of shelter but sadly, we are out of luck.
My wife's dad offered to give us shelter but we had to obey his rules.
I turned him down, some people call me a rebel, others call me a fool.
I would **** to have a bed that is nice and soft.
Winter is coming up so we'll freeze our ***** off.
When a man cussed my wife and I out, he had the mouth of a sailor.
He beat me up because we secretly moved into his travel trailer.
He said we could've lived in his travel trailer if we had asked first.
As he beat me senseless, I thought I would be hauled in a hearse.
We are both broke, people certainly can't say that we have big bucks.
Because I'm a rebel who won't live by rules, we'll continue to live in our truck.

He starred in 'Wonder Woman' as Steve Trevor.
Sadly, he passed away and he's gone forever.
He guest starred in 'Charlie's Angels' and 'The Love Boat'.
He also guest starred in 'Happy Days' and '******, She Wrote'.

He made guest appearances as himself in 'The Golden Girls' and 'That '70s Show'.
He also came close to being Batman and millions of people hated to see him go.
He starred in 'The Carol Burnett Show' and this man had style.
He died in March of 2020 and we have to say goodbye to Lyle.

Back in the nineties, a video game was made that was called 'Mario is Missing'.
But the game was changed, the original title was going to be 'Mario is *******'.
In the game, Luigi has to find his brother who is taking a ****.
But they learned that people would've been offended by this.
They changed it because it would've been offensive to watch Mario ***.
They changed it because that was something nobody would want to see.
In addition to seeing Mario ***, people would've seen his tiny *******.
And Luigi would've laughed because Mario's ***** is only half an inch long.
Luigi would've belittled Mario and he would've laughed until he lost bladder control.
People would've also seen Luigi **** because his brother's **** is smaller than a tootsie roll.

There was a young man who was obese.
He ate too much and now he's deceased.
He went to his favorite restaurants and ate a lot of food every day.
He died at the age of thirty and it's not surprising that he passed away.
His family told him that his gluttony might prove fatal and they begged him to go on a diet.
Even though they told him over and over that his obesity might end his life, he didn't buy it.
One evening when he was through eating, he had a massive heart attack and hit the floor.
He died instantly and his wife and children grieve because their patriarch isn't alive anymore.
He scoffed at the idea if dieting and he suffered a horrible fate.
He might not have died if he had made an effort to lose weight.

Something bad happened in 1990 on the 28th of May.
It turned out not to be such a great Memorial Day.
I saw a very beautiful girl who looked like she was sixteen or seventeen.
She was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen.
I wrote a note and put it in her storm door.
She was younger than I thought and her parents were pretty sore.
She was only fourteen, that was four years younger than me.
They told me to leave her alone and I agreed.
But I really liked her and it was painful not to be able to date her.
I wonder who she's with all these years later.

Today is Memorial Day.
We're paying tribute to those who died for the USA.
Many soldiers died so that we can be free.
It means a lot to you and it means a lot to me.
Some fought with guns, others fought with tanks.
They gave everything for us and I give my thanks.

Last Christmas was great because I was able to spend it with you.
But I'll be spending this Christmas alone and it makes me feel so blue.
We each thought the world of one another.
I'm very proud that you were my mother.

You were sweet, smart and so very wise.
I've been devastated because of your demise.
You always said that you loved me and was proud of me but nobody tells me that anymore.
I didn't know just how great you were until I lost you and it makes me feel so sad and poor.

It brought me joy when I called you each day.
But sadly, that pleasure has been taken away.
While you were on Earth, I was so blessed.
Merry Christmas Mom, you were truly the best.

If people ask me if my Christmas will be merry,
My answer to them will be "Not very."
The last Christmas when you were still alive was back in 2012.
My brother and I no longer have you and it's ******* ourselves.

I would give anything if I could spend another Christmas with you.
I know that you'd also love to spend another Christmas with me too.
My life would never be the same on the day when you were dead and buried.
I wish you a Merry Christmas, Mom but sadly, my Christmas won't be merry.

The last Christmas that we spent together was three years ago.
When you died, it hurt me incredibly, it was a devastating blow.
The love that I felt for you was wonderful, it was extraordinary.
Sadly, to be able to spend another Christmas with you, I would have to spend it in the cemetery.
Christmas isn't as good as it once was because we're not together.
I still carry you in my heart and I promise that I'll love you forever.

Every Christmas was a good Christmas when you were around.
But it stopped being good after you were lowered into the ground.
The last Christmas that we spent together was four years ago.
I had no idea that it would be our last Christmas, I didn't know.

When a man spends Christmas with family, it means everything.
And when that is taken away, it's like being struck by lightning.
When we spent our last Christmas together, I didn't know the end was near.
Merry Christmas Mom, because you're in my heart, a part of you is still here.

What I'm saying about you isn't hard for others to understand.
You were my mother and until March of 2013, I was a lucky man.
But you died on March the 6th of 2013 and I ran out of luck.
When I had to say goodbye, it felt like lightning had struck.

You and I spent our Christmases together for over forty years.
But we'd never share another Christmas and losing you drove me to tears.
You were so special that they probably threw a party when you arrived at the Pearly Gates.
I know that The Lord is happy to have you in Heaven but your death is something that I hate.

You were such an awesome mother and that made my brother and I better men.
And it's still very sad to know that we can't spend any Christmases together again.
When you died, I was devastated and it made me encounter some stormy weather.
But I still wish you a Merry Christmas even though we can't spend Christmas together.

The Christmas of 2012 was the last Christmas that you celebrated on Earth.
You were a kind and loving mother for 41 and a half years after my birth.
When March the 6th arrived, you wouldn't have a tomorrow.
It took two years for me to get over the pain and sorrow.
I can't spend anymore Christmases with you, now I spend my Christmases alone.
You were a terrific woman and the best person who I've ever known.
March of 2013 was the worst month and year that I've ever experienced.
When you passed away, it hurt me terribly and I've missed you ever since.
But I feel much better now, time does heal a man's wounds.
Merry Christmas Mom, I'm sorry that you died too soon.

Lots of people all over the world will celebrate the Yuletide.
This will be the seventh Christmas that has come around since you died.
We celebrated many Christmases together but we'll never do that again.
Christmas is a time for peace on Earth and goodwill to all men.
It was nice that we celebrated Christmases while you were here.
But during the Christmas of 2012, I didn't know the end was near.
If we could spend this Christmas together, it certainly would please me.
But that isn't possible and Christmases aren't as good as they used to be.
On Christmas Day, people should be with their families.
When we celebrated Christmas, it was always sure to please.
A person is never truly gone if he or she is somebody who people remember.
You'll be with me in spirit even though I'll be alone on the 25th of December.
When you died at the young age of 64, it was hard for me to understand it.
Merry Christmas Mom, you were one of the greatest mothers on the planet.

You died and it's something that I don't like to remember.
You won't be with me again on the 25th of December.
Nine Christmases ago was the last Christmas that I spent with you.
When it comes to your death, I wish I could say that it isn't true.
You were the most unselfish person I've ever known, you loved to share.
You wanted me to be happy and it was wonderful to know how much you cared.
You gave giant print Bibles to people while you lived.
You were so very special because you loved to give.
It's very sad because we can't be together on Christmas ever again.
Merry Christmas, Mom, you must be having a ball up there in Heaven.

Six Christmases ago, you were still alive.
The Christmas of 2012 was your last Christmas because you didn't survive.
That was the last Christmas that I was able to spend with you and Dad.
You died nearly three months later because the situation was so bad.

In 2012, you said it might be your last Christmas and sadly, you were right.
You shined like a star but that star faded, a star that shined so bright.
I thought you'd see more Christmases but I didn't know what the future had in store.
If I had known that it would be your last Christmas, I would've appreciated it more.

This will be the fifth Christmas that I'll be spending without you.
You always made Christmas better and that is certainly true.
The Christmas of 2012 was the last Christmas when you were still alive.
Merry Christmas Mom, I still carry you in my heart as Christmas of 2017 arrives.

It has been an entire decade since we last spent Christmas together.
Less than three months later, you died and you were gone forever.
The last Christmas that we spent together is something I hold dear.
Time certainly does fly, it does not seem like it has been ten years.
After spending many Christmases together, your life came to an end.
After you died, it took nearly two years for my broken heart to mend.
You once cooked Christmas dinners and we opened gifts that were under the trees.
The memories of the years that we spent together are very important to me.
When you were only 64, you had an abdominal aneurysm and I lost my best friend.
Merry Christmas, Mom, it's sad that we can never spend Christmas together again.

When I say that you were a wonderful mother and person, I'm being sincere.
The memory of the last Christmas that we shared is something I hold dear.
We spent many Christmases together but we won't be able to do it again.
We'll spend Christmases together in Heaven in the future but I don't know when.
Back in 2012, I gave you and Dad two presents each on Christmas Eve.
You passed away less than three months later and it was hard to believe.
I didn't realize just how sick that you were.
Your death was painful and hard to endure.
If I'd known that the Christmas of 2012 would be our last Christmas, I would've appreciated it more.
I will always appreciate and cherish the final Christmas we shared and all of the Christmases before.
You and Dad are both gone and I can't spend another Christmas with either of you.
I want to wish you and Dad a Merry Christmas because it's the proper thing to do.

You were my mother until I was forty-one.
I was fortunate and lucky to be your son.
December has arrived and Christmas is near.
Life would be better if you were still here.
You were the best woman that I've ever known.
But since you died, I've spent Christmases alone.
If you and I could share another Christmas, it would be great.
But you died over eleven years ago and it was a terrible fate.
I still miss you to this day and that is certainly true.
Have a Merry Christmas, Mom, everybody loves you.

God's son was Michael the Archangel before his birth.
But he was named Jesus Christ when he came to Earth.
Michael the Archangel was his name.
He resurrected the dead and healed the lame.
When God sent us Jesus, it was one of the greatest things he's ever done.
When I die, I will go to Heaven and I will be with God's magnificent son.

As children, when Lucy pulled away the football, it was cute.
Back then I could laugh about it and I didn't give a hoot.
But now that I'm fifty-one years old, it isn't cute anymore.
Yesterday, Lucy pulled away the football like the many times before.
I punched her really hard and I knocked that **** to the ground.
Here came Linus to defend his sister and I had to take him down.
I pounded on his head and I crammed his blanket up his ****.
Schroeder joined in and I knocked him out with an uppercut.
I even had to beat up Peppermint Patty.
Maybe I shouldn't have called her a fatty.
Charles Schulz made me lack self confidence when I was a kid and that wasn't good.
If I could travel back in time to beat the crap out of him, you'd better believe I would.

He was an actor and a singer and his name was Mike Berry.
If you're wondering how talented he was, the answer is very.
He starred in "Are You Being Served" and "Worzel Gummidge" as well.
When it came to being a British singer and actor, he was bound to excel.
He also starred in one episode of "The Bill" and "Scatterbrook Days".
Mike Berry had millions of fans who are sad because he passed away.

A **** was set free even though he committed a crime.
The reason why he was set free was because I'm a Mime.
I was on the witness stand but because I'm a Mime, I wouldn't talk.
I take my job way too seriously and that was why that criminal walked.
Because I wouldn't testify, everybody in the courtroom started to yell.
The judge was so mad that he found me in contempt and put me in jail.
People are still angry because I wouldn't give my testimony.
My wife divorced me and now I have to pay her alimony.
If I hadn't taken my job so seriously, that criminal would be rotting in prison.
I'm going to get a new career because that's something that needs to be done.

In just a couple of minutes, I'm going to die.
You are probably curious so I'll tell you why.
A man has slapped a pair of handcuffs on my wrists.
He thinks I'm sleeping with his wife and he's ******.
But he has also crammed a stick of dynamite up my ****.
He lit the fuse because his wife turned out to be a ****.
But I'm not his wife's lover, he's punishing the wrong guy.
I'm about to be blown to kingdom come, I don't want to die.
But the dynamite didn't explode, it turned out to be a dud.
But he isn't done with me yet, he intends to spill my blood.
He just pulled out a knife and said that this is the end.
But his slutty wife just drove past with her boyfriend.
He has removed the cuffs and apologized because he was going to ****.
I just crammed a lit stick of dynamite up his *** to show him how it feels.

You starred in Die Hard and also in Galaxy Quest.
And you starred in Dark Harbor and The Winter Guest.
You starred in some Harry Potter movies and in A Little Chaos.
People are saddened by your demise because it's a big loss.
In 1989 and 1990 you starred in Quigley Down Under and The January Man.
In 1991 you starred in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and also in Closet Land.
I'll tell you something that is certainly true.
You were a great actor and people will remember you.