Baal was a phony god that was worshipped by many, including King Ahab and Jezebel.
Jehovah put it upon Elijah to prove to the people that he was the true God of Israel.
Satan created Baal to turn people away from Jehovah God.
It took Elijah to prove to the people that Baal was a fraud.
Elijah knew that he could show the people the truth and make Baal falter.
He told them to slaughter a bull and use it for a sacrifice on an altar.
Elijah told them that Baal would be the true God if he could burn the bull but no fire came.
But then Jehovah God sent down fire and burned the sacrifice and that put Baal to shame.
Even though Elijah had the wood and bull covered with water, both still burned.
The people saw that Jehovah is the true God, that was the lesson that they learned.
King Ahab and Queen Jezebel promoted Baal worship and it was something they came to regret.
Both of them ended up dead and God was pleased with Elijah who was the boldest of his prophets.

You've been dead for the same amount of time that you lived, forty-two years.
You were loved and your death devastated each and every one of your peers.
You didn't perform in all fifty states, one state that you missed was Montana.
You performed your last concert on June 26, 1977 in the state of Indiana.
Two of your hit songs were 'All Shook Up' and 'Hound Dog'.
You had great taste in motorcycles, you sure did love Hogs.
You had a wonderful life but not a life that was long.
When doctors constantly prescribed those pills, it was wrong.
You loved to give away Cadillacs, you truly had a heart of gold.
It was very sad to lose you when you were only 42 years old.
One of your friends saw you putting a hole in your foot with a drill.
When he asked you why, you said you were doing it to get more pills.
When you died on August 16, 1977, every one of your fans were in tears.
You've been dead for the same amount of time that you lived, forty-two years.

A man didn't realize that even blanks will **** if a gun is put to the head.
He pulled the trigger and sadly it ended his life, he is dead.
He fired the gun at his daughter's boyfriend.
He wanted him to think that his life would end.
He started laughing and said it was only a blank.
Then his own life ended after he pulled his prank.
He put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger.
He died and his family was in need of a grave digger.
I wish I could say this poem is fictional but sadly, it's real.
He'd still be alive if he had known that even a blank can ****.

When Mom died, life lost a lot of its luster.
While she lived, everybody could trust her.
Everybody could trust her because she was so good.
She was wonderful, she helped everybody who she could.
I would've trusted her with my life, that's how much I trusted her.
She was one hundred percent trustworthy, that's for **** sure.
When she died so young, it was unfair and unjust.
She was a terrific lady who everybody could trust.

Everybody needs God as much as they need air.
Have faith in the Lord and he'll always be there.
A church ran out of food that it gives to the poor so that they can survive.
The Preacher told God about the dilemma and a truck full of food arrived.
God is wonderful and he works in mysterious ways.
He will always be there for us, he'll never go away.

Every day is a good day because God is a part of my life.
I don't need children to be happy and I don't need a wife.
Jehovah God is all that I need, he gives me happiness.
He can do the same for you because he truly is the best.

God is with me everyday, he's with me everywhere I go.
If people wonder if he will abandon me, the answer is no.
God is with me when I'm at my house, at the lake and even at Walmart.
Everywhere I go, I carry God in my heart.
God has been with me since I was born in August of 1971.
I thank the Lord for all of the good things that he has done.

I charged a town full of hicks ten thousand bucks to make it rain.
They said if there was no precipitation, I would be in a lot of pain.
They were desperate for rain because of a three month drought.
They actually paid in full, I can't believe they paid that amount.
What they didn't know was that when it comes to making rain, I don't know what to do.
Those hicks knocked all of my teeth out and now I can't even chew.
Those hillbillies also lit a match after dunking me in a barrel of kerosene.
I knew they would be angry but I had no idea they would be quite so mean.
Now I'm in the hospital and I have 3rd degree burns.
Don't ever con hicks, that's a lesson I have learned.

I bought a shotgun at a flea market without knowing that it was used to commit a horrible crime.
The former owner used the shotgun to **** an entire family and I was about to have to do hard time.
The police came to my house and confiscated the shotgun.
They thought I was the guilty party, they thought I was the one.
The entire world turned against me, I was a person who billions of people hated.
People said that I should go to the gas chamber and if I did, it would be celebrated.
Even though the public had turned against me, I convinced the police to have doubts.
I told them over and over that somebody else was the killer and they decided to check it out.
They found the real killer and it wasn't long before he was placed under arrest.
The cops showed him the bodies of his victims and he broke down and confessed.
Even though I was put through hell, I'm not mad.
The real killer was brought to justice and I'm glad.
Many people have mailed apologies to me and one of the reasons why billions turned against me is because I'm mentally ill.
They thought I was a crazy ****** but now when it comes to committing ******, everybody knows that I never will.

Families who pray together stay together, that is true.
Families should pray together because it's the right thing to do.
Families who pray together will please God and they will be blessed.
Families need to pray together because many marriages are a mess.

He was a great actor but sadly, he's not alive anymore.
He died thirty-seven years ago today on April 18, 1984.
He starred in "Moby ****" and "The Man Who Could Cheat Death".
Thirty-seven years ago, he went to Heaven after he took his final breath.
He starred in "Ten Minute Alibi" and an episode of "Doctor Who".
He was a gifted British actor and all of his fans know that is true.
He starred in "From Russia With Love", "Triple Cross" and "The Liquidator".
Francis died in 1984 and his talent is still appreciated thirty-seven years later.

Last month my neighbor lost his wife of thirty-three years.
Her friends and family are grieving and shedding tears.
She was sixty-three years old and Delilah Jane Webb was her name.
As her loved ones mourn, they realize that life will never be the same.
I feel sad and so do many others because she died.
I feel bad for my neighbor because he lost his bride.
When a person dies, it's always something that is hard to face.
It's giving her loved ones comfort because she's in a better place.
When she was diagnosed with cancer, it was certainly scary.
People had to say goodbye when she died on the 20th of February.

When I'm done with you, you'll need an undertaker.
Because of what you did, you will meet your maker.
You had an affair with my daughter but neglected to tell her that you have a wife and kids.
I found a suicide note next to her body, she decided to end it all because of what you did.
When my daughter learned about your wife, she begged you to get a divorce.
You said it would never happen and now she's dead, and you don't even feel remorse.
When I found my daughter, I held her lifeless body in my arms as tears rolled down my face.
I'm going to have to **** you because you are a scumbag, a low life and a total disgrace.
You're laughing because you think that I'm bluffing, but I just put a bullet in your head.
I pulled the trigger and now as I look at your corpse, I feel jubilation because you're dead.
When you used my daughter, you signed your death warrant as well.
I hate your stinking guts and I really do hope that you will fry in Hell.

You starred in a British sitcom called Father Ted.
It is extremely sad because now you are dead.
You were successful and things were going great.
But then a tragedy occurred when you died in 1998.
You were taken far too soon, you were only forty-five.
The world would be a better place if you had survived.
You excelled at acting and you were a teacher too.
You were an awesome Irishman and people loved you.

I remember how much Dad suffered during his final days.
After months of receiving chemotherapy, he passed away.
Regular chemo stopped working so they used a more powerful version that made him feel worse.
It wasn't long after he received the more powerful chemotherapy that he ended up in a hearse.
When it came to being diagnosed with Leukemia, it certainly wasn't something that was foreseen.
Today is the ninth anniversary of my dad's death, he died on the thirteenth of July in the year 2013.
When Dad learned that he had cancer, he made me promise to take care of Mom after he died.
But she died four months before he did and we didn't know she was ill, we were all mystified.
When a person becomes so ill that he or she dies, it's hard to comprehend.
When Dad drew his last breath nine years ago today, his life came to an end.

Let me tell you about an experience that wasn't great.
I would follow women around the grocery store and ask for dates.
Every single one of them said no when I asked.
Getting a date turned out to be an impossible task.
I had some particularly bad experiences because some of those women were married.
The paramedics were called several times and when I left the store, I had to be carried.
The husbands had hate in their eyes when they attacked.
The single ladies cussed me out and gave me hard smacks.
Because I bothered the ladies, I was finally asked to leave the store and I was also banned.
It looks like I won't be having *** any time soon so that means I'll have to use my hand.

What happened is certainly enough to appall.
I'm in the Army and I was forced to go AWOL.
I am disgusted by what happened and it's hard to believe.
Even though my brother was dying, they wouldn't give me leave.
I wanted to see my brother one last time before he died.
I plead with my superiors to give me leave but I was denied.
When it came to my late brother, I thought the world of him.
I went AWOL to be by his side and to tell him that I love him.
Now I'm facing a Court Martial, I'm in trouble indeed.
They turned their backs on me in my hour of need.
Now they're treating me like I committed a horrible crime.
But at least I was able to tell my brother that I love him in time.
A Court Martial and time in prison are what I'll probably receive.
But my superiors were cruel and despicable for not giving me leave.

God will never forsake people but many have forsaken him.
We need God now more than ever because things are so grim.
Many have chosen to forsake God and live such sinful ways.
But the Lord isn't like that, he's in my heart and he's here to stay.
Some people do or sell drugs, some are greedy and some steal.
Others commit ****, adultery, arson and some even ****.
But those people will eventually suffer because of their wicked ways.
Every one of those people will face God's judgement and they will pay.

Mom gave birth to me in 1971 and today I became forty-four.
It's a shame that she can't celebrate my birthdays anymore.
Forty-four years ago today, my mom brought me into the world, it was the first day of my life.
But my life became difficult because she is no longer a part of it, it has been a painful strife.
Two and a half years ago was when Jehovah decided to take her.
Her death has been painful but it's nice to know that she's in paradise with her maker.

The Apostle Paul was a saint but he was a sinner in the beginning.
He killed Jesus's followers and Jesus struck him blind for sinning.
After Jesus sent Ananias to restore Paul's sight, Paul changed his evil ways.
He vowed to be Jesus's Apostle and preach the gospel for the rest of his days.
Paul began preaching that Jesus is our savior.
Some people became infuriated by his behavior.
They planned to have Paul put to death.
He was warned about this and he left.
After leaving, he continued to preach the gospel and made tents for a living.
Even though Paul was a former murderer, Jesus knew that he was worth forgiving.
Paul was worthy of forgiveness and so are today's sinners.
If people put an end to their sinful ways, they can be winners.

When he left us, he left us too soon.
He starred in 13 episodes of "Tycoon".
It was a day that all of his fans were sure to hate.
Christopher left us at the young age of fifty-eight.
He starred in "The Distracted Preacher" and "The Boy Friend".
Many people were surprised when his life came to an end.
In addition to being an actor, Gable was a ballet dancer.
This talented man lost his life in 1998 because of cancer.
He starred as "Sharaz Jek" when he starred in Doctor Who.
Christopher was a special individual and that's certainly true.

There's something about my wife that astounds me.
She won't use any appliance unless it's made by GE.
I bought her a washing machine that was made by Whirlpool.
That was a dumb decision and I soon learned that I'm a fool.
My wife got so mad that she caved my head in with a claw hammer.
Now she's holding a grudge because she spent a year in the slammer.
General Electric appliances are the only appliances she will use.
I'll remember that in the future because I don't like to be abused.
She demands GE appliances because GE brings good things to life.
From now on, I'll buy nothing but GE because I'm scared of my wife.

Jehovah God gives people gifts, my gift is the ability to write.
When we think about what God does for us, it causes delight.
Albert Einstein wouldn't have been a genius without God's contribution.
Without Gods gift, he never would've known that E Equals MC Squared, he wouldn't have found the solution.
God gives a gift to each of us.
He does it because he loves us.
Some people may not believe what I'm saying but it's true.
I have two words to say to The Lord for my gift, "Thank You".

It's that time of the month again, your rent is due.
You'd better pay up or I'll beat the hell out of you.
Don't try to get out of paying again, I don't want to hear an excuse.
Stop trying to get pity by saying you were a victim of ****** abuse.
I want my money, I don't want to hear excuses or lies.
When it comes to giving me an excuse, don't even try.
Do I get my money or do you get a beating?
Pay me or my fists are what you'll be eating.
You just insulted me, you said that I'm so fat that I look like the Goodyear Blimp.
I just punched you in the face and you've started crying because you're a wimp.
Stop blubbering like a two year old, be mature like an adult.
And I will permanently disable you if you hurl anymore insults.
I'd like to avoid sending you to the emergency room and myself to jail.
Just gimme my **** money, I'm getting tired of having to raise hell.

I'm an ex-prizefighter and my name is Glass Joe.
If you're wondering if I could win fights, the answer is no.
I got my *** kicked by a shrimp and his name is Little Mac.
I got knocked out in the first round when that boy attacked.
I'm called Glass Joe because my jaw is made of glass.
It was humiliating because anybody could kick my ***.
People laugh at my losses and it's something I resent.
I happen to be Glass Joe Biden and I'm the President.
I run America but I sure can't take a punch.
If you hit me in my stomach, I'll lose my lunch.
I lied to everybody when I said that I came from France.
I got *** whippings in the ring, I never stood a chance.
Even old women could knock me out and I'm not a fighter anymore.
If Americans learn that I lost ninety-nine fights, I won't win in 2024.

We are honoring those who fought and died for the USA.
We are honoring our deceased soldiers on Memorial Day.
Many soldiers fought and died so that every American can be free.
They were brave heroes and only communists would disagree.
Bob Dole fought and nearly died for his country during World War II.
The former Presidential candidate is a hero and that certainly is true.
I have only one more thing that I want to say.
God bless those who fought and died for the USA.

If you combine Jesus, all of the Angels and every Human Being, they're not half as good as God.
Jehovah loves people tremendously even though we're flawed.
God is good, God is kind.
God can give peace of mind.
I try to improve myself to please Jehovah because I should.
Jehovah is wonderful and I love him because he is so good.

If you're suffering because of the loss of a loved one or any other reason, God can take away your pain.
Jehovah can make you feel better even if your troubles seem like they're too much for you to sustain.
You may be very sad and feel like you're coming apart.
But God loves you and he can mend your broken heart.
God can take your pain away.
All that you have to do is pray.

God gets more angry as each day passes by.
His anger increases and I will tell you why.
People do stupid things that make no sense.
They gamble, fornicate and commit violence.
Many people sin against The Lord and lead lives that are ******.
They won't do what's right, they don't want to make God happy.
People who are big sinners must listen to my advice.
Unless they change, they won't be allowed to live in paradise.

God created all life on Earth and that's the definition of science.
God is there for us and we can always count on him for reliance.
When I tell you that God is a scientist, I'm not trying to deceive.
He knew the secret of life when he gave us hearts that pump blood and lungs that allow us to breathe.
God has the greatest scientific mind in all of creation.
That is a stone cold fact, it is not an observation.
It was science when God put the birds in the sky and the fish in the seas.
It was science when God caused tiny seeds to grow into large trees.
God put his scientific skills to work when he created the sky, oceans, animals and Mankind.
I am grateful to Jehovah because he's wonderful and because of his incredible scientific mind.

God can be vengeful but he's mostly benevolent.
He helps us when we're down, he is magnificent.
God kept one of my relatives safe in Vietnam because of people's prayers.
God will never forsake us and he loves all of us, he truly cares.
It's like the money says, 'In God We Trust'.
God is wonderful and he's always there for us.

I broke one of God's Commandments when I stole an extension cord.
I was struck by a bolt of lightning because I angered The Lord.
God is cracking down on those who break his Ten Commandments.
You'd better listen to what I'm saying because I'm making a lot of sense.
When I chose to be a used car salesman, it wasn't a decision that was wise.
God struck me with leprosy because it's my job to constantly tell lies.
I haven't broken just a few of God's Commandments, I've broken all ten.
God is cracking down, he is making me pay for each and every sin.
Because I've become a *****, I can't get a date with a woman on any night.
When women see me, they wet themselves and start running because of fright.
I have this advice for you, God's Ten Commandments are what you must obey.
God is cracking down, if you break any of his Commandments, you will pay.

God always listens when you pray.
He hears every word that you say.
Your prayers and faith are important to him.
He won't let you down even if things are grim.
Some times good people feel like losers but in God's eyes, they are winners.
If bad people change their ways, God will forgive them even though they were big sinners.
If you ever think that God doesn't listen to your prayers, please remember that isn't true.
God always listens and he wants to be a part of your life every day because he loves you.

In the beginning, God was the only one who had the gift of existence and he shared that gift with us.
God also gave the gift of existence to Jesus and the angels and if you ask me, that was generous.
God could've kept the gift of existence to himself, he could've been the only one who exists.
But God is a God of love, he didn't want to keep that gift to himself because he's not selfish.
Even though God gave us the gift of life, many people stab him in the back every day.
People had better give up doing drugs, ******, killing, lying and stealing, they'd better change their ways.
God blessed us with the gift of existence, he sure does love to give.
That's why we should thank him for every day we're allowed to live.

Because the amount of sin has increased, so has God's tolerance.
People no longer even regret their sins, they have no conscience.
When there was far less sin in the world, God killed a man and his wife for telling a lie.
If God killed liars today, millions of people would die.

Jehovah's tolerance has increased because the amount of sin has increased as well.
If people worship and obey God, they will live in paradise but many people will fail.
God's tolerance will eventually come to an end.
When Jesus returns, people will pay for their sins.

God is there for us and he'll never forsake us.
He will be there until the days that he takes us.
He'll continue to be there for us when we're in Heaven.
He sent his only begotten son to save men and women.
You may think that God has forsaken you but that's not true.
God will always love all of us and we need to love him too.
God will never forsake us and when things are bad, he will be there.
Through thick and thin, God will be there because he truly does care.

After we die, the world will forget about me and you.
But God will never forget about us and that is true.
God will remember us after we die even if the world lasts a million more years.
God will feel pity for our loved ones who mourn our deaths and shed their tears.
God knew about all of us even before we were in our mothers wombs.
And he will eventually raise the dead, we will walk out of our tombs.
God will remember everybody and he'll prove it when we're resurrected.
When this happens, life will be glorious because God will see to it that everything is perfected.

Even though Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Christmas, church is the best place to be on Christmas Day.
There is no better way to celebrate Christ than to be in church to worship and pray.
Being in church is the best way to honor Jesus and his father.
But many people never go to church, they don't even bother.
I'll be in church on Christmas Day, it's the best place for me to be.
It's the best way to honor Christ and I really hope that you agree.

Let me tell you about a neighbor of mine.
He had been my neighbor since 1979.
He had a loving wife and two children.
He has died but we will see him again.
His death is hard for his friends and family to face.
He's in Heaven now which is a far better place.
It's tragic because his life came to an end.
He was a great neighbor and a friend.
When I learned that he died, it was very sad.
But now he's in Heaven with my mom and dad.

Just one day after we lost Carrie Fisher, her mom died too.
I guess both the shock and pain was too much for her to go through.
Carrie died at the age of  sixty and her mom was eighty-four.
It's a shame that neither of them will be around anymore.
Many people were Debbie Reynolds fans and they thought a lot of her.
This has been a sad week because we lost both Carrie and her mother.

Erin Moran has died at the age of fifty-six.
She was special and a credit to all chicks.
She was adorable when she starred as Joanie Cunningham.
When a person dies that young, it's always hard to understand.
I learned about her death on Facebook and it made me feel bad.
When we learned of her passing, it was tragic and so very sad.
She had a wonderful figure and good looks.
When we watched her on Happy Days, we were hooked.
She died too young and her death has devastated her fans.
Sadly, we have to say goodbye to the talented Erin Moran.

Your last name said it all, you were the best.
Because of you, the entire world was blessed.
You have left this world at the age of eighty-eight.
Your life is something that we should all celebrate.

For six years you dazzled us as Rosco P. Coltrane.
You died but your reruns will continue to entertain.
You starred in a few episodes of Bonanza and twice on the Andy Griffith Show.
You entertained us for several decades and all of your fans hated to see you go.

Talent should've been your middle name.
It's not surprising that you found fame.
You starred in a Twilight Zone episode and in Firecreek.
You will never be forgotten because you were unique.

I have a story to tell you that is a heart breaker.
It's about a great man who was named Kenny Baker.
When he starred in the Star Wars movies, he was inside of R2D2.
His fans shed tears and mourn because of what they're going through.

Kenny starred in two episodes of The Adventure Game,
And he also starred in The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
He also starred in other TV shows and movies during his career.
Everybody on the planet is sad because Kenny is no longer here.

The Kmart has closed that was located in Morristown, Tennessee.
That's one less place where people can shop and that includes me.
This particular Kmart was built in 1974.
After being in business for 43 years, they closed their doors.
They were in business for over four decades, that's a long time to be around.
This makes five department stores in Morristown that have been shut down.
I had shopped at Kmart since I was a child but I can't shop there anymore.
It's a shame that they had to call it quits, it's sad that they closed their store.

You were a great person and a great pharmacist.
You were killed in cold blood and you will be missed.
You were murdered because of some Oxycontin.
You're dead but you won't be forgotten.
It's sad to know that you won't be coming back.
Your life was taken away by a sick maniac.
Being killed because of some pills was evil and low.
Many people loved you and we all hated to see you go.
Now your family and friends are forced to say goodbye.
I really liked your pharmacy and you were a nice guy.

You starred as Batgirl and as the green babe in an episode of Star Trek.
You died of breast cancer and your fans and family's lives are a wreck.
Breast cancer is a big threat to women, it's what many have died of.
You entertained many people and because of that, you were loved.
In 1971, you starred in 'How To Frame A Figg' with Don Knotts.
You were very talented and many people appreciated that a lot.
I have an autographed photo of you as Batgirl and the book that you wrote.
You weren't alone when you suffered from breast cancer, many have been and are in the same boat.

Gordon Ramsay decided to pay a visit to Mel's Diner.
When he criticized Mel's food, Mel gave him a shiner.
Now Mel wears an eyepatch because Ramsay jabbed him in the eye with a fork.
He hated Mel's beef and had to have his stomach pumped when he ate Mel's pork.
Ramsay didn't like the waitresses so he told Mel that they had to go.
After years of faithful service, Mel fired Alice, Vera and Flo.
Flo was so angry that she was chomping at the bit.
She told Mel and Gordon Ramsay to kiss her grits.
Ramsay finally had to give up on Mel because his food is so terrible.
Ramsay's job is to help restaurants but he can't perform miracles.

Gospel Music is fantastic music because it praises God.
When it comes to Gospel Music, it's something to applaud.
Anything is good if it praises the Lord.
When it comes to God, he should be adored.
Gospel Music is incredible music and that's a fact.
It's awesome and that's a statement I won't retract.

I've started saying Grace, I thank Jehovah for my food.
I didn't do that in the past but I've changed my attitude.
Jehovah didn't have to give us taste buds but he wanted eating to be a pleasant experience.
We should all say Grace before we eat every meal, it makes a lot of sense.
People should also thank Jehovah for their possessions and their families.
If we thank the Lord for everything that we have, he is sure to be pleased.

Millions will panic and they won't know what to do.
America is about to experience a Great Depression II.
I just learned that tomorrow the Stock Market will crash.
I'll be broke and I'll lose my house, my car and all of my cash.
My wife said she and our children will leave if I end up broke.
When I say that certain people will commit suicide, it's no joke.
I'm going to **** myself because I will lose everything I have to live for.
The economy will go to Hell in a hand basket and people will be dirt poor.
This Great Depression will make the first one look like a Sunday School picnic.
Millions will struggle to make ends meet, they will have good reason to panic.
Hard times are coming for every American and people better be prepared.
When the Stock Market crashes, people will have good reason to be scared.
If you're religious, now would be a good time to pray.
America is about to go through Hell, we've seen better days.