my love is gone...
my love has gone next door
my love popped round
to perform frottage with the hedgerow
and lust after the new lawnmower


whilst i built 'The Good Life'
my heart got distracted
it grew a cavernous attraction to the neighbours
and their immaculate lawn

my love is licking their heavy curtains
chasing their well groomed dog
watching their home entertainment centre
and kipping on their sofa
(made comfortable with extra science)
my love has repelled from me
to ****** toward another life
a life neatly removed from a catalogue
and free of creative revolution

like the tide withdrawn
a farming hamlet
passes
from a shared day of labor
to face solitary scrutiny
under the night-full eye of slumber

beyond the sown fields lies a thick forest ...

all sky up on the mighty
begging of your own boundaries
heady with the ego

you present leadership
insecure
in a blunt tottering charge

an unfastened distraction
fear dominated
  and flinging fear
   as a sense blunting weapon
  scattering the people
cleaving them confused
polarized and susceptible

beating on the rough skins
tummy to vibration ;
              the strum
                    that actions
               your cutting heart
wetting out for mammal
i clown on the drums
go to town
vetting out the taughtless thought within you
it's tough
it is trough
seeking you out
your sputting heart
a mation behind the curtain
a certainty somewhere
gulls creation
your bird of weather
your brimstone
your ***** of feather
your tell
your chore
and your wreckage yard
I pass you a code
to rive free your missive
with glee
you can mare
yawn over into public
with folds
scruff
and a sodden little battle cry

I drum for this
I drum for your honest heart
that you can be
locomotion
you can be domicile to yourself
sparkhouse

i went looking for you tonite
           in some daring fit of vision
i sought after you in my own flesh
i stared through the screen for you
i near blinded myself in a streetlight

i took on a fierce drinking session
                                      - a pounding of the bellows -
                                   i fought for you in the fire fight
and in a blight of fists
        i fought amongst barbarian company...

trench

                          ...though i thought i'd dredged my fill
                   i was shy by many-many shards
            and   one
                    big 
                  aching 
                 glory
                           and still... no you

i stumble

a drenching
i got dazed and a bit ****** up
with sick up in my gory hands
my mates look foreign at me
and i can't  get them words

my friends will not be moulded to assist
treacherous
they are leaving me behind

you are demonstration, demon and a cost
you wear a fancy shiny sleeve
     flirty
i love you
leisured up
                 you lure
                drunken ravage
fierce hole
        take some finance
i earned it *****
CONTAMINANT !

.......this is not you
    you're not here
(i am adamant)

on a mission
i pummel on the veils
in a fusion i rose the dead for a consult
but they fumbled 'bout awkward
much confusion
they picked at their seems
avoided eye contact
mumbled
probably wanted brains
or replacement parts :
a useless summoning

looking for you
i am well travelled
time and space and different versions of stuff
it's been spectacular
i've seen the bulk and can make a bigger picture
this odd fella laughed and gave me some kind of herb
i'm massive
i'm quite mad
in my lunacy I'll hunt you down
moon n' sea
gather you
a study
ungut beauty
splay ; enforce you a spread of wings
  pin
    display
      and examine
I'll be utter with your subject
be thorough with your data
because I'll never be forgiven
thieving away
the god from beauty....
and...
...and...

and i'm sure your just round the corner
a collision in the scriptures
and we'll merge

I'll make the night
      livid mural
stars and crashes
         flee out into the night
jabber
now it is milk
and i am tourist
in my own hand
thought fails fluid
spill
detested
demolition
upheaval

Medically speaking
It is you for me
You are a joker
and a flight for my heart rate
Colder than eyes
and just as gelatine
You offer a hand
(a graft quite meddlesome)

We spend time in costume
We hack an appetite to commune
You offered a hand
and I became quite greedy
Feeding our life astray
We claimed a nightmare
Shared territory
A bed unaware
A tale after all
We mould quite the pair

i lust insist
tense under ruttish restraint and expectation
                                                     ­             trussed

my untackled thoughts
quake miniature dramatics ;
cramming for the light
having fits for my attention

through each
I am irresponsibly born
and then hastily killed...
it is a wasteful process

from now on
I shall label them
as they surface
I shall call them Petty Mort
both a joke at their expense
and a simple dismissal

with this manner
I shall practice trimming them
from my chosen daily effort

beyond the sponge
and spoilings that form my bulk
meat heart beats
but it's not the boast of me
it has tree like dispassion

but then, conflict... 14th / Sept / 2020 / Elsons Crag

The Forest firs sway. The trees bend at the top like sea grass with the tide. Cloud movement strobes sun over this carpet. I view from a cliff.
It stirs rare warmth in my heart half

No !

React under attack. the heart throws up monsters and little stickmen waving spears. violent breathing and horrid garbage and gore and villainous words turned inward and folded and pounded and dough and hurt..

i've turned from the beauty and crouch in a revulsion of balance

this foreign glow cannot be simply experienced. to me, a warm heart is one in need of defence ...as is one in mourning

Guillemot
I breath a knot..

..In urgency
I heist free a gob..

..A Bird at Sea
My eye is caught..

..by a blink
a wink
further out to Sea..

..Land fails to grip
Land flights
A whip..

..a task released from necessity.

the wind beasts upon the frills ;
       the hills that border the woodland
the skies are busied
      and plum heavy to grey
everything is weighed down upon
       bunching
         damp and thick

who is lupine for this forest scene ?

a crew
an approach of the laboured breath
  guns and hunters
   bonded in shared intent
   they slow their knackered *****
   this is
   for them
  unravelled...
this is
new map

glances to their guide
they ferry her much mistrust
   a suggested local
    she promised them wolves
    canines of the mythology
they assume they'll take pelts
she assumes
the wolves will take the hunters

they break at the skirting
  just free of being overshadowed
gentle creaking bellows
  hauling and uffing ;
    an action amongst the trees
        a filtered drawing of nutrients
          a gill work
the men view this enemy dimension
and make ready their advance

peek inside for derelict conflict....

feel strung upon
        by the permeable substance of the climate
follow the underdrum
    the spelling heart
observe trinkets of sign ;
   an exposed nest of eggs
      a silver comb
       a cracked hand mirror
        a meaty welling of fungi tongue
       and a scissored up ladies bonnet
    :treats,
detritus
and trophies

in the dank woodland setting
  you bear foreign faces
    and you become
      tacked to your ration-less actions
refined within growth
   the blood'll quicken
life stories of abuse-ment
   have made a tumid bruise of Mothers udder
this feast has history
and sitting
  and wit
this selection of trees
this marred ground
the gathering weather

what are the wolves to their guide ?

she walks
  Fathers axe loose in one hand
    pre welcomed
      into this unfettered fancy
she takes off her red velvet cap
  and lets it to litter
     ; token

she has crossed the barrier with company
   no pity for her fellows
those she escorts
are offerings
and she a returning guest
  most welcome

all the forest characters
the 'monsters'
  shall greet her teeth to teeth
   and the meal on their breath
     shall match hers

the hunters pick into the womb
   silent
     professional
       and stalking
their weapons point their way
the guide follows
  caution-less
    casual
      revisiting childhood

pipe cleaner tree rat
are you prepared for Winter ?
first snow touches ground

the thinker stains /
the implement
numb of pain
touches page /
ink drains /
soak /
vein /
cool
and coagulate /
stoppered in /
in order to heal /
currently flocked /
to the wound /
the thinker blocked

home ; i ought wish from

comfort slums the fallow feet

means of revival

travel

to view a sorrow
alleyway
plashy with puddles sallow
a practice run for Ophelia

she rages
       thrashing
face down in the ****** jettison
        of a theatres fire exit

after her spasm
sits up
       hefty breathing
lights up
       a used cigarette
props herself against ****** wall
stalls
and picks up a littered programme ;
a christmas time pantomime

she cries for love and the sense of others
she laughs-laboured
forum within madness

floody gusts of
            fought up clamoury
amour
      and the gums of our armoury
      that our cravy brain sustains
      mouthing
                              ...guppy

ever so clever

the wind toys with the weather

observing 'god' sway

My Buddha remains seated
My Buddha honours silence
I tread each step
I perform each breath

My Buddha walks for me
My Buddha draws the breath
I am a passenger
I am free to observe design

you are considered a dead thing
slowed down by decent refrigeration
and declared
'personality put to pasture'

a name would help with the paperwork

with flutter faint
          feather a heart
gill wafting of light emotion

demoted
but carried
in a subtle world
  where muted decisions build
here accumulates a coral
                 a tested wisdom

indecent descent
the croak of the bed
quaking release bared

rain drained down
upon us cold
paraded away our labours
pegged at out bare backs
and showboated us all
as temporary
reactive
and lacking in good humour

the rise of your chest  bellows and rest
the eyes of your investment   in me
the falling mane we form together
drapes
                                   into our milly pool
                              into our night attacks
     we act out civil villainy  and pranks
   we didn't mean to  but  we were spilt

   all the gutted sources of our majesty
bedroom headquarters and missions
   abroad from there  lead them to stare
our belly can hold all the resulting
                        birds of yellow vulgarity

they come to our door
                    with glowing phones raised
and we answer
         leaking behind our death-masks
they've chosen
                      to take us far too seriously
and may strike us down
                                             anti martyred
          alabaster heretics
                                laughing

i greet new love
i want to classify her...
this day is a flushing
a wash
sky in nutrients and vented
i blaze a way across an unhandled lot
i stalk the train tracks
and envision the ghouls making interest
regarding my process
from the spaces
in the frown of stumble down buildings

i feel sing-song
and full of wing
i am alive
as are the crickets
i am alive
as is the detritus
its all vital
a clan and not a mangle
a form of battle
but with gentle politness
a grace of progress
occasionally
a sightless grapple
plenty

life is open sore
blunderbus into a bewilderness
a fumbled structure
cannibalistic pratfall
blind ******
puncture
open sore
fester giving life
fizz

accompanied a paper hat, a toy penknife that looks like a fish and the joke : 'Why is an Elephant large grey and wrinkly ? ...because, if was tiny, white and smooth, it'd be an aspirin"

a respite from The You

this immense communication

step back from The Live Mould

and the ‘fright & flight’ media

every immoral chime
      every grievance
every ventilated crime
           is within place
        yet
        it is not at peace

   a natural allowance persists

  much art makes up cruelty
  (generations in the nursing)
  correct in the wilderness but
  a curdle within The Human Idea

a great work is needed to charm
   to able us harmless
    a reigning
   and rebraining ..
    .. a self applied restriction

                      -    the Whole Wild World wearies of our project
                          ( earn our continuation )

The nervous surface
puddle clipped at by a light wind
Even cupped, can't light a match
tremble membrane and an arid sulphur plume
A clench of nerves

A murmuring makes the air
and now a light rain...

cruelty was intent
bent only to effect harm
pep up in power
purely
as the action of a child

cost

calm as an ironing board / stressed as the walls
foreign as an enemy / familiar as the enemy
                   music knows no enemies
reigned as a god / resigned as most of the dead
    rewarded as a child /pell-mell as egg shell
vile as only myself
shelf-life   of a plucked fruit gone untreated
weening mental state   of the recently unteated
soft as sputum / rooted as generations of defeat
               prattling  like we'll never have our fill
                                          riddled as an ant hill

the emergency of life
the spot lit fight
vigorous
apparent
the thrashing of the harvest
in the threshing of our night cares
sew what you mourn
in the blot of the moon

it’s all a swallow
one gross reactive swallow

your time perception
is gourded
your feelers
are fluence and torted

everything’s fun today
the sun spills the sun today
all fur is on end
all eyes are refreshed
fleshing mirrors
absurding the observed
playing with mother’s scissors
dog sugar dog sugar
attend to the worlds genitals
re-open The Eden for business
and theatre

Composed of informal struggles
an unlovely creature
is in his cups
Sat comic
in Kitchen
Widening
in Home
Gathering
multiplying poverty
to perish
achieve tragic
See the hours play out of life
A vast account of no fun
Numbers.