"i look at her
sometimes
and wonder
out of all the faces
in the world
how did i find one
that was so perfect
for me."


- atticus

"i’m ready to be with this man. forever. that’s why i’m getting married because i want it to be forever."


- Cardi B

when you look at me and smile it's like for a split second everything stops and your smile pierces through all of the bad in life and all is well again.

i knew you existed before you knew i existed and from the very moment i knew, i was already drawn to you somehow and i did not understand that at all. but now i do.

all my life, i have dreamed of someone like you.

there’s nowhere else i’d rather be than with you.

"never the way she looked
always the way she was
i could have fallen in love with her
with my eyes closed."


- atticus

it's written in the stars. darling, we belong together.

you have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life. and that's what i did. i walked through hell and ended up in your arms, my heaven on earth.

you made me believe in a better tomorrow. and for that, i'll always be thankful for you.

i love the way you believe in me. the way you make me believe in myself.

i will always love the color yellow now. that is the color i was painting my bedroom wall when we started dreaming of being something more. it was when i first knew you wanted me. when i first knew you wanted some kind of future with me. the first time you made my heart race. the moment i knew i was going to fall in love with you and there was nothing i could do about it. the first time i felt a connection. the moment i knew we were going to be something more.

you wear your broken pieces so beautifully.

i miss you like the sea would miss the salt if that were taken away.

i don't think i fully understood love until now. until i showed you a piece of me no one ever saw and now i can be so myself around you.

"i'm a mess, but i'm the mess that you wanted."

good things happen. love is real. we will be okay

i so desperately want
to say those words i'm sending you out loud
to your face
in person.

You keep pulling me in
You tilted my chin up with your hand
And said, "Look this face,
I couldn't hit her if I wanted to."

So please
Please fall in love with me
'Cause I'm in enough pain as it is
And it's not getting better

You always leave me feeling blue
But I love you too much and I'm stuck like glue
And I follow you and annoy you to death
to be close to you

I'm drowning in this ocean
I'm just going through the motions
Baby, it's too much to handle
Too much to handle
Be with me

And I would go through the worst pain
Just so that I could feel your love again
But I guess it doesn't work
'Cause I'm still going through that

You say, "Just keep your chin up."
But I guess I'm out of luck
How can I be okay
when you look at me like you want me?

And I wish you would try again
But you'd probably rather die than to take that chance
But I would like you to love me

i hope some day you write a poem about me
to hear about myself through your words
would make me fall in love with poetry all over again

Maybe I was too eager
Maybe I tried to rush this
Maybe I wanted to go too fast
Maybe I'm not good enough
Maybe no one can really love me
Maybe you don't want me
Maybe the universe hates me
Maybe I'll never be with someone that makes me happy
Maybe nothing will make me feel good again
Maybe I'm broken
Maybe I'm tired
Maybe I don't want to live in this particular moment in life
Maybe you don't even care that I'm hurting
Maybe I'm done
Maybe I'm giving up
Yeah...maybe I'm giving up

my words are not as good as they used to be
all thoughtfulness and creativity gone
i can't even think of poetry at all
i'm trying to impress
i'm trying to do my best
but it seems like my mind is so dull
my energy is gone
my enthusiasm drained
my creativity burned out
it took everything to even write this
i'm gone
who am i?
i don't even know anymore
i don't feel alive
i don't even exist
i feel like i will never come out of this
i'll be fine
i always am
but i think i need a break

All I want is to be called "lovely"
from someone that sincerely cares

i miss you even though i've never had you

If I showed you all my dark secrets
would you still be interested in me?
If I opened up my past to you
would you run and hide?
Because if you will
I don't want to tell you
all the things I keep inside.
So if you think you won't run
then keep on reading
If you really want to know me
then let me show you the dark side of me

Like this
There was one point of my life
Just last year
I wanted to die
and no one would believe me because I look so happy all the time
But it's surely not the truth
I was almost hospitalized
for wanting to not be alive
Because a teacher saw that I was sad
Took me to guidance
and asked if I thought my life was bad
Yes
Yes, I do.
"Do you hurt yourself?"
Yes
I had to pull up my sleeves and show her
How convenient it was that I was sad the night before
and cut up my arms to the point you couldn't see much skin anymore
All you could see was red lines
I'm sorry the images have to play in your mind
They told me I needed therapy
But I never went
I was almost locked away
for being in pain
But I wasn't
I tried killing myself just a couple months before that
No one will ever know
I promise you I'm okay now
I've healed a lot
and I'm not in very much pain anymore
I know it's a very dark thing to hide
and trust me, I'm not proud

And there's this
the reason I don't actually have a phone
I tell everyone it's because I just don't want one
but that's not the truth
I talked to strangers online and told them I wanted to run away
and I told of my hurt and pain
Yes, I told a lot of personal things to people I didn't know
I admit, that was stupid.
But I guess I have to let it show
Thinking back on this
I have to say, I'm ashamed and embarrassed
I lost the trust of my parents
and that's why I can't have a phone
But I've changed
I don't do that anymore the way I used to
and now I may get a phone for my birthday

I failed a class
and I know that doesn't sound too bad
but it is to me
Because I was always a good student
and got good grades
But my mind was in a bad place
and I couldn't focus on the important tasks at hand
So now, I have to take 9th grade history again.
But I'm doing okay.

Those things are the ones that stand out most to me
My dark secrets
I'm not proud
How could I be?
I ruined my life over and over.
And now I'm scared these will be the reasons you won't like me

i don't want to look outside my window
and see the storm clouds rolling in
i just want you to hold me
in a safe bed
for eternity
please come here
and call me yours

page after page after page
these words are always about you

i think i'm writing about death so much just so i can move on to new beginnings

In the end,
I'm still alone.

i've cried myself to sleep way too many times
i shouldn't say i'm fine
it's just a huge lie