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May 2015 · 799
When Will You Free Yourself
Lady Ju May 2015
She longs to fly
But her wings are broken
She cracks a smile but her joys been stolen...
She just wants to be free but freedom seems so far...
Her loads way too heavy from the weight of these scars...pain
Oh how she has experienced her share
Still mad at life cuz her daddy's not there...still mad at life cuz who **** cares...
The world?
Not at all...it's your job to get up every time that you fall...
And this type of thinking comes with a pretty big wall....
so how does she free herself and let go of the past?
When she's drowning in tears from the things of the past?
A student of life she's still taking its class. She's mad. Her hearts been through it. Trying to find God and religion won't prove it. In our silence we find answers it's the battle within.
Until she battles within she'll never be free again.
Lady Ju Apr 2015
What if we started over?
Or are these mistakes valued more than a range rover?
****...
There we go again
Trying to find the middle ground but wound up at the end
Fine, I’m diving in  
Or maybe it’s just too late
You told me to move on
But my heart insists to wait
Great. Now what am I to do?
When everything I’ve ever wanted I found in only you.
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Caught In My Feelings Pt 1.
Lady Ju Apr 2015
If we don’t make it then I’ll lose trust in it all
Still thinking that you’re gonna text me or call
Wrong..
I don’t deserve it do I?
This is why I never wanted to get close and you knew why
Now I’m over here with a bottle straight zoning
You’re waiting on faith and I just keep on going
I think that’s where we fell off again
I’m pushing past mistakes
And you’re counting your sin
Never thought I was perfect
but we were perfect together
Now we’re flying two distances
With a new patch of feathers
So we’re reaching new heights
And both found a new place
But I'm wondering now did you save me a space?
Blah Blah Blah Just Zoning.
Jul 2014 · 699
The Moment.
Lady Ju Jul 2014
What If Your Memory Erased
Every past mistake
Your heart wasn’t concerned
How the future would take place
The only thing you knew how to do
was live for today.
Then, would you finally enjoy the moment?

-Lady Ju
Jun 2014 · 938
Every thought of you
Lady Ju Jun 2014
Every thought of you
Puts my heart in a coma
I thought I graduated from love
No wonder why I haven't received my diploma
I'm still repeating your class.
Jun 2014 · 393
Hello Poetry
Lady Ju Jun 2014
Hello Poetry,

Do you have a minute?
My mind keeps drowning in this pool that I've been diving in
It keeps on talking but my heart's just not listening
I hear a knock between my chest that doesn't seem to end
It mentioned love
And I don't want to let them in
Cuz last time, they ran off with my heart again
Anyways I thought that I would share this with you
Its the only way to get these words through
You seem to listen
And I appreciate that
I hate to admit but this love is more permanent than the skin on my back
I'm black
I know theres no changing that
And the time I wasted with them there's no changing back
But I miss them
Why is love sometimes the enemy
They say that I'm crazy
Because I'm the only one defending me
See,  everyday the same ritual
My only fear is that the feelings aren't mutual.
May 2014 · 582
My Picture Perfect
Lady Ju May 2014
You're the frame to my picture
Perfect
Not painted by Picasso
But your value to me is more than worth it

Am I crazy for the love I have for you?
Or crazy to think I could live my life without you?

I'd clear the roads just for you to enjoy a smooth ride
Swim through the depths of the deep end
Just to be by your side

I'd tackle your giants down with you
Tag team me in
See I let you in
Tore down my walls
As tall as Berlin

So you're sewn in my heart
without a needle or pin
Just the bond that we hold
Is so strongly within

I can't comprehend
Although I know that I'm intelligent
But truth is, I don't have to be a genius
To know that you were Heaven Sent. - Lady Ju
May 2014 · 703
Will It Be The Same?
Lady Ju May 2014
I know you still love me
It's kind of easy to tell
When the heart loves someone
There's no way to lock it up in a jail cell
Because it will explode through with emotions
crashing down like waves in an ocean
You can try and deny
But hearts don't lie
Those it has chosen
And I've spent a good deal
Wondering if you still cared
I guess previous conversations with others
Made me question was the love really there
I guess I never knew tears tasted sour
Until the day you said goodbye
Because you were always there
To catch them falling from my eyes
And all I can think about is will it be the same
If I have a problem will I now come to you in vain
Will you catch my tears like in the past
Will you get tired of me and the love not last
Will our hands interlock if I'm frightened or scared
Or will I pretend like it was never there
The fear haunts me daily
I guess I shouldn't be concerned if your love is fading
But tell me if your love for me is changing
I deserve to know. -Lady Ju
May 2014 · 1.3k
I'm Human
Lady Ju May 2014
Perfection would be nice
But Perfect I am not
I OFTEN make bad decisions
Even when I have Good Intentions

If I measured myself next to you
Would you say that I'm bad?
But since I measure myself next to God
I've quite aware of the mistakes that I've had

But I'm not covered in "mistakes,"
I'm covered in His Grace
So when you ask me about my "sins,"
I already know they've been washed away

Take it easy there
Why do we condemn others, puff up our chest
Do we forget that we've all made a mess?
***? Check.
Drunk you bet
Lied? Why yes.
You have a list? What's next?
I've never tried to hide that I'm a mess
And even in my worst days, I'm still incredibly blessed

Isn't it so easy to measure the "sin" of those who show it so well
But the ones covered in pride, greed, envy, deceit (etc) are those you can't tell
Shall we judge those that sin differently than me and you
Or let He or She cast the first stone if making no mistakes is what you do

I've wrestled with bitterness from the pain that needed my validation
But what can a hard heart fix, but admit it needs help,
crying out in desperation

If my sins are forgiven, past, present and future
Why am I still so slow to repent?
Maybe my "spiritual walk," has made me this content
Maybe this spiritual walk has made me rather distant
Am I searching for God
Or just not listening

Meaning, sometimes I can be overly consumed with rules
Like I'm not doing it right
When God says its simple
Just move to the light

I'm free so if I feel locked in chains
What will remain?
A Slave to my man-made traditions instead of committed to God

And even in trying to do the "right things,"
I still make mistakes
But I'm not covered in Mistakes
I'm covered in Grace

See Perfection would be nice
But perfect I am not
I often make bad decisions
Even when I have good intentions
Traded in my contacts
To see God's vision

Because, I live in my flesh
Every battle comes with a new test
Some I win, some don't end
And I've been hit with the curse called, "I'm Human."
C.2014 Lady Ju
May 2014 · 749
To Him
Lady Ju May 2014
Let me run my hands gently through your hair
Staying up all night kissing you everywhere
Gazing at the moon and wondering how it got so bright
Then wrestle like two kittens that like to play fight
Let the innocence of love like kids
Bring us excitement to have fun
Not wondering about tomorrow
Or what's yet to come
As the seasons pass
Let the intimacy of our minds grow in development of each other's hearts
Then we'll be able to detect if we were truly meant to be
Or grow apart - Lady Ju
May 2014 · 545
Did You Hear That
Lady Ju May 2014
Did you hear that sound?
It's my heart's beat
The bump grows louder
The closer our hearts meet
I'm so in LOVE with the LOVE in you
Stars apart
But you light me up like the moon
May 2014 · 966
Language Of Love
Lady Ju May 2014
Let me whisper to you gently with the rays of my heart
Two interconnected souls that will never depart

The way you touch me without the sense of touch
No one would believe the power of this rush

That drives deep into my body
Like shock waves of a sting gun
Miles apart but your heart's rays still stung

I'm caught
Like a fish after bait
I tried to swim back but i'll admit it's too late

Oh the language of love
And I'm fluent when it comes to you
-Lady Ju
May 2014 · 1.0k
I Thought I knew God
Lady Ju May 2014
I thought I knew God
But all I know is religion

Concluding God only lived in a book
From my man made traditions

I've been wishing, no crying, God I need to find
"Keep Searching, He said, I've told you time and time"

My fear to change for People, Someone tell me is it twisted up?
Or am I not a good "Christian" because I keep messing up?

Ignoring my God given talents
For a robotic routine
Is that what living for God really means?

We're so quick to take credit where our credit isn't due
We take these scriptures out of context and tell these people this is really true

Man I'm so scared for you
Because I'm so scared for me

For so long, this is what I believed
Over consumption of my "Sins,"
Depressed wondering if they'd ever end?

But If God forgives why can't we
God created every bone in my body
So why is it so hard to accept me for me?

If defending your faith means degrading another human being
You're wrong and I won't do it

I choose God over religion
And that's what I've concluded
#MyFreedomWithGod - Lady Ju
Lady Ju May 2014
I close my eyelids hoping to remove this pain
But the off beat of my heart
Tells me these feelings haven't changed
Every memory of you makes me feel nauseous
How can I give my heart again when I'm feeling this cautious
Flowing in the river of these tears you've created
Facebook status changed but my hearts not updated
I hate it
-Lady Ju
May 2014 · 601
Sick And Tired
Lady Ju May 2014
Sick and tired of this pain
Release me of these chains
Crying out for freedom
But locked up is what I remain

It's a shame
To have these feelings that I do
Once thought it was love
Now I'm questioning was it true

No I'm not questioning was it true
Just questioning why it was you
Is love supposed to abuse?
Did my heart really choose?

To give something so intimate
Just for it to lose?...shoot
Maybe it wasn't yours to have in the first place
God I'm sorry for giving away your space
Apr 2014 · 437
I Wrote This For You
Lady Ju Apr 2014
If you knew the truth in it all
You’d think differently
Funny how the past repeats itself like History
Hearts don’t change just mentally
Do you even understand the magnitude of
What you meant to me?
Wait a minute there’s no past tense
Still the same
Love looks for nothing to gain
So really nothings *changed
Lady Ju Apr 2014
Seems like yesterday
I emailed every pastor online
Hoping they’d get through to the most Divine
Cuz my heart was far astray
And when I got that call I blamed God
For allowing you to be taken away
Am I selfish for wanting you here?
Knowing you were part of a perfect plan
My ears weren’t allowed to hear
But still, this really cuts deep
And still it really cuts deep
1, 2, it is now Year 3
Trying to walk down this righteous path
Something you always did
Now my heart feels like it's on life support
every pump needed to live
Anger in my fist
This rage I can’t control
These tears I can’t keep wiping
Somebody fill this hole
And for a while I tried to get everything to do God’s job
My heart said enough as more pieces of it got robbed
Never quite drunk enough
The next day still feel pain
These fist turned to the wall
Still nothing I could gain
Go to sleep crying
wake up with all these tears
Yelling up to the Heavens
God, are you even here?
But see Pops you were different than that
Even through your death you still knew God had your back
A brave man to put up with us
Having so little
But still giving so much
And I think Satan likes to take me on a ride
To remember all the bad memories I’ve tried to push aside
I’ve put on so much shame
Like maybe I wasn’t a good daughter
My heart he tries to capture
And my mind he tries to slaughter
Some days he gets through
This fight I can’t always win
These scars won’t fully mend
Wondering if this pain will EVER end
To be honest the hard part hasn’t even began
Anticipating the wedding
Birth of my first child
They say I’ll see you again someday
But I want you here right now
They can throw those words out the window
I don’t care to hear
My mind’s just trying to figure out how to get passed another year.
Apr 2014 · 453
From God
Lady Ju Apr 2014
How many times will you give your heart away?
Just for them to leave it astray
Unattended to your needs
Why won't you just give it to me?
-God (by Lady Ju)
Apr 2014 · 1.2k
Dear Sin
Lady Ju Apr 2014
Dear Sin,

You freaking lied to me
Crept into my heart
And now you're trapped inside of me
Said that I could finally be free
Right after you took away my freedom key
Put me in these shackles
Now I found myself in slavery
I want out- Lady Ju
Apr 2014 · 1.0k
The Whisper Of Your Heart
Lady Ju Apr 2014
Every new day is a mystery
Yesterday becomes history
Wondering are you still missing me
I close my eyes
And feel your heart's still whispering
..."I do" -Lady Ju
Apr 2014 · 648
I Keep Searching
Lady Ju Apr 2014
I keep searching
No Signs
Where are these broken pieces of mine?
What you took
I could never get back
Tell me exactly how did you do that?
So next time I'll be more careful with my heart.
-Lady Ju

— The End —