What is in  your best interests, gals?
Find some like-minded pals,
Always look at the big picture,
Usually, nothing happened, the fixture,
Always look after your best interests, gals,
Find some like-minded pals........

I am a rock,
Being alone, no shock,
Capable and competent, a rock,
Being alone, no shock,
Not the end of the world,
Alone, ******* girl,
Or together, not the end of the world.....

If I had a cause,
I would work for the paws,
I'm for animal liberation,
End that experimentation,
Who made us gods of them?
Power corrupts, ahem,
Yes, if I had a cause,
I would work for the paws......

My parents named me Julie,
Have a  famous namesake in history,
Like great Julius Caesar,
Another Julian house afar,
In Roman days, times far,
So, hail, big Julie,
Writing is my living legacy........

Do you pledge allegiance?
With patriotic dalliance,
Like most things I guess,
We can be too patriotic, no less,
But we should be proud of our land,
Here in Oz, the great Southern band!

Do you use online prompts?
To create a poetic response,
Sometimes ideas come to me,
Like an interior visionary,
Is that what a muse is to thee?
Or do you use hokey online prompts,
To create your poetic response?

One of those days, gone fishing,
Tripped the fish fantastic, gone missing,
So, off to the take-away we hopped,
Got boxed in at the pizza shop,
Fair dinkum, this is *******,
We're supposed to b eating fresh fish!

Years ago, I wed a mechanic,
A token marriage, quite symbolic,
Saturday arvos, really shambolic,
I gawped at him, gazing at his dipstick,
Still working on who was  the dipstick,
Checking under the hood,
was supposed to be good,
So, that is what is really symbolic,
Dipstick gazing at a dipstick, gazing at his dipstick,
Yah! Symbolism of the futile past symbolic............

Hello, women footballers on Channel Two,
Is there anything you can't do?
And you've each got three degrees too,
But is your biology your destiny for you?
When you meet a man, the one for you,
Do you end up cleaning the loo?
Yes, three degrees coming through,
Girl footy player cleaning the loo!
Hello there, women footballers on Channel Two,
Sad but true, sad but true,
**** it up, biology is destiny for you!!!

They sow the seeds of doubt,
Where wars began, there is nowt,
Shameful displays
on the world's stage,
There's much to ponder,
On the future yonder,
No longer a slogan,
Who sells the uranium?
Oz is sowing the seeds of doubt,
Where wars began, there'll be nowt!

Self service is exactly that,
Change is supposed to good, that's that,
But where are our checkout chicks?
This technology gives us the blip!
Now self service is more advanced,
It leads us greys in a merry dance,
If change is supposed to be so good,
Is there a kind human hand here? Touch wood!

I heard a song,
Tried to drive and sing along,
"Detachable *****" was its name,
Some women really feel the same,
With this song they do relate,
What to do to erstwhile mates,
Much better, when it is too late,
To close that chapter, great!
"No hard feelings," hell yeah,
Detachable ***** over there!

Say you make a movie of life,
In mine, I've survived lots of strife,
A cast of fake friends,
Useless so-called men,
Maybe I attract cavemen,
Emotional manipulation,
These days I manage great,
A film of life, mine wouldn't rate!

I really thank you ***** cats,
You've said your bit, that's that,
You've toughened me up, all right,
Tell me something I don't know, you uptights,
Have you got your rags on again?
Let's send you ***** cats down the drain,
I'd really like to thank you cats,
You've toughened me up, that's that!

I arise on the wings of the new day,
I thought of an adage to say,
Read and learn today,
"All men are born liars, okay?
They're all mad as snakes, let's say,
Given half a chance, any day,
They'll be bigamists, okay?
But when you reach the end of the day,
Not one is worth losing sleep over, let's say,
It's up to you who you love and trust, okay?
So, think on this, girls, today,
You might call it wisdom of the aged,
As you rise on the wings of a brand new day!

It's good to have a sense of humour,
With me, comedy is a favour,
Laughter is good medicine, ha ha!
Laughing at yourself is best by far,
So, do you only love me 'cause I'm short in bed?
Bit of a giggle, that, more than enough said!!!!!!

I arise, shower, get dressed, as normal,
Put on my black shoes, not so formal,
Where shall my boots take me today?
Why, off to my local church to pray!
Silent, alone, but not lonely,
Plaster saints, and God, and me, not only,
I walk away feeling blessed,
Because in these black shoes, I dressed,
These boots were made for walking, no less!

So, you want a peaceful life,
Whether you're a husband or a wife,
Well, bite your tongue, don't react,
You, too, can play the doormat act,
This is the true secret of success,
Give all you meet a smile to bless!

Liar, Liar,
Pants on fire,
You are a naughty liar, man,
When did you care for a woman?
Don't say you're my friend, liar,
No wonder your pants are on fire!

One day, I sent an email, fine,
Everyone passed it down the line,
An email full of smiles, in time
All their friends sent it global,
Now our  smiles have gone 'viral'!

The full moon appeared,
Shone on me all night here,
I arose, a new version,
I turned into an evil person,
Yes, instead of smiling and kind,
It was Lucrezia Borgia time.....
"What is for lunch?' Indeed,
"Why it's mushrooms for thee!"
Lucrezia declaims,
"Things are not the same,
What can I poison today?"
See what the full moon's done to me,
Lucrezia Borgia is now cooking tea!
Would you call me a living legacy?

Wifey flings open bedroom door,
Not gazing kindly, a picture she draws,
Wife blows her nose, her cheeks are a'rose,
Her husband lies there, full of moans,
Her husband begs,
Wifey  takes a breath,
"Yes, dear, I know you have a man-cold,
But, dear, I,  too, have a man-cold,
But women are not allowed to groan
or nag, says men, you are alone,
I, too, have a man-cold,
But, this washing is getting old,
I'm cooking tea and minding the kids,
No, dear,  I shan't make soup like your mother did,
Yes, dear, the undertakers are near,
Here's your last will for your man cold, dear,
Yes, dear, I know you have a man-cold,
Your whinging, is, like, well, old!
I have to iron your shirts now,
Yes, dear, I know I am a fat old cow,
But, dear, I have your ***** in my purse,
I do hope our man colds don't get worse!"

Who really has world power?
Think on this while you shower,
If you own the coffee or tea,
You own the home, prithee,
That's molls' rules, you see,
"Do you want a cup of tea?"
Our magic word is 'please',
Be nice to tea ladies,
Or there's no more coffee or tea,
Is that power, or what?
Tea ladies rule, so what!

Where did you go to, Doris Stokes?
Do you  still talk to ghosts?
Doris is now a ghost, folks,
Did she just want to get on the telly?
Did the ghosts ever get on her nelly?
Or was she telepathic,
Or only telepathetic?
So, who now talks to ghosts,
Or erstwhile Doris Stokes?

Procrastination is the thief
of time, words beyond belief,
I'll procrastinate later, eh,
Silly joke for today!

Scribble ten words,
First three are a verse,
For what it's worth,
Only an idea for you,
How to stimulate the muse.......

I sit here and fade
Into the woodwork, I gaze
At the passing parade,
Studying people, always a fave,
Some standout in the crowd,
Interesting, people-watching allowed......

Here, in Oz, the rats want to sink the ship,
The embrace of Putin is becoming hip,
It riles the heartland of the Oz,
Not the peaceful land it was,
Why a nation divided, not the best,
We're all one Oz, the rich and the rest.......

Teens of Telstra, teens of Telstra,
Staff of team Telstra, they are stars,
To me they all look like teens,
Cutest things you've ever seen,
Oh, teens of Telstra, teens of Telstra,
Now there's collective bulimia,
As greys with phones enter their shop,
Under the counters, the teens do hop,
Teens of Telstra groan and moan,
"Who gave grey old farts mobile phones?"

Where do they draw the line?
Things are not suitable for the times,
Some things so not funny, eh!
But acceptable norms do change,
As through the media we range........

A stranger looked at my palm,
I thought it would not do me harm,
What is this she's telling me?
When the future is a mystery,
What is in my life line,
A tracing of a lifetime.....

We must be politically correct,
Or is it a flawed concept?
Does it stifle chats honest?
But, we must be politically correct!

Can you hear Beethoven down the years?
His Fifth symphony can move you to tears,
I listened to his music alone,
His deafness, his music in tomes,
Can you hear Beethoven down through the years?
His Fifth symphony can move you to tears........

A strong smell memory,
What do lilacs smell like to me?
It's like a childhood prompt,
of a garden long gone,
Sweet fragrances divine,
Lilacs in old gardens, time
passed, scent memory,
What do lilacs smell like to me?

What bores you?
Do you accept BS too?
Yawn! Can't you get anyone better, grot,
Whining is so tiring, boring, I've got
so 'over' your whinging, you see,
I'm sure you can get someone better than me!

I did eat brown rice, one day,
Yeeeccch, never again,
Then was wholemeal pasta, eh!
Yeeecccch, never again,
I did at that café,
Yeeeeccch, never again!

I walked along the road one day,
Picked up a note along the way,
I unfolded it and read,
My heart filled with dread,
What did this little note say,
That I picked upon the way?
"You are going to be hit by a bus!"
So I walked off the road, no fuss,
Safe on first, walking one day,
Picked up a note along the way,
Everything changes, you might say,
Try not walking on  the road today!

What did  you wish to be......
Kids growing up, like you and me,
Did you wish to join the ballet?
Or to be  a fireman, to save the day?
Maybe an astronaut, from afar,
Or did you want to be a movie star?
So, what did you turn out to be?
After growing up, like you and me....

What is a reactionary?
They seem out of place to me,
Some people are reactionaries,
Their beliefs are futile isms, you see,
Out of place, out of time,
Anachronisms spring to mind.......

To be a greenie or not,
What to plant in this plot?
So you can chop it off,
I feel like tree hugging,
Chainsaws are me bugging,
I guess we agree to disagree,
I want to be a greenie!
House divided by you and me!

For grannies, there is a school,
With a variety of teaching tools,
Grannies can get up to lots of tricks,
Spoiling grandkids is their own magic,
They have a common enemy, you see,
Grannies, renowned in history,
They learn heaps in grannies' school,
With a variety of teaching tools!

Is this what you believe?
"We're all born equal," you see,
Is this what 'human rights' looks like to thee?
No, I read about discrimination,
Racism, and slavery in many nations,
Bigotry, armed conflicts, starvation,
Where did you get to, equality?
Is this what 'human rights' looks like to thee?

Let's unite in our origin story,
From way back when in history,
It's all for humans, but not obligatory,
The spirit behind all faiths, you see,
It's up to you what you believe,
Our psyches touched by grace, prithee,
None of us are one trick ponies,
All to do with our origin story......

I give you a pat on the back,
Me, you always cut some slack,
Thank you for healing my heart,
A 'thank you' would be a start,
You never say anything to whack,
I give you a pat on the back,
You're just a plain golden heart,
A 'thank you' to you for healing my heart.

Today I went to the bank,
Smart remarks, drew a blank,
Walked away, fuming,
Hours late, resuming.
Perfect comeback, too late,
People aim to manipulate,
Provoke a response,
Futile, silly nongs!

What is life like now?
No technology, somehow,
Just imagine, here and now,
If there's no technology,
We'd all manage, you see,
As in days of yore, prithee,
But you can't reverse the clock,
Retroactive, quite a shock,
If no technology somehow,
What would life be like now?

Back to school, no way!
After school, there's holidays,
Now we're old, sere and grey,
We're never going  to school dances again!

My closest friend is my oldest friend,
Old friendships never end,
Long understanding times,
I celebrate her in this rhyme,
She never judges anyone,
We still have cuppas of fun,
Yes, old friendships never end,
As onwards golden amity does wend......

In a museum of the future scene,
A retrospective of 2017,
What will it feature to be seen?
Lands of racism and hostilities,
Political puppets, cant evergreen,
Any good news for the future scene,
How can we change 2017?

The café named a sandwich after me,
"World's greatest doormat", prithee,
A people-pleasing syncophant, you see,
So, here's the new sandwich for thee,
"The world's greatest doormat", just like me!