There will be gnashing and whining
Our flesh will twist from the grip of hand on skin
Red is my eyes
You have not yet noticed
The honored guest is in a velvet lined box
Invited are his brides
his mother, his sister
He can never have daughters
No sins passed from this moment on
The offense is on our hands
The tears shed will be drank like wine
She loves me? She loves me not?
The light left your eyes when you had chosen the latter

Your face is an illusion
It tells me you aren't mine
An intrusion, that keeps offering inebriation
It keeps painting expensive art
Eyes have expression because of you

I have many parts
The rest of my heart wants you
If this is what it means to be alive
Then living isn't easy
If I have to wait then let me go, to you
There's a distance that we have to fill
For our presence wholly becoming still
The moment permanent in time
We have no other moment but now

Your face is an illusion
It tells me to go do this
Then I have done it and surprise, surprise
I don't regret this
I have only this, now
Having your attention is plenty

I have many parts
There are parts of my heart that wants you
The rest just wants to be with you
If you are not with me
Then how can my war be won?
If you are away
Then I have to wait on my own
Waiting is easy when you are the sun
I can count on you, darling
To rise when it's time for dawn

Your face is an illusion
It tells of the flourishes in my penmanship
With a smirk you make my patience grow thin
I don't have forever
I just wish you were forever
When you look away the light leaves

Shifting into many forms
The parts of your personality have me on my toes
Every angle is making me dizzy
More than your face, I see who you can be
If nothing is easy, then let me call this nothing "life"
If everything is given, then I can have nothing to do with you
I am incapable of lying
I am poor man masquerading wealth

Your face is an illusion that makes me want to cry out
"Your skin is a gun!"
"Your smile is a bullet!"
"Your touch is the finger on the trigger!"
Your breath is steady as you aim.
I wish the target were these hands
I'd brush your hair back,
This ended with a bang

A yellow bird sits on my knee
It says "Hello, I am reincarnated mother"
She was dead picking the poisoned flower
From the shelf of her wayward children
We have no way of knowing right from wrong
We will go on living as rebellious bird daughters
Flitting from heart to heart
Seeking shelter in men's broken parts
Crying when we cannot start
Laughing when we finish money
Eating away our sadness
Motherless daughters without any stress
Trading our mother's feathers for a new dress

Base feelings are monsters that live in my cage
I always draw second
I unveil
Virginity is a useless sacrifice
So, nobody feels uneasy anymore
Oh they know what self-adoration is
Yet, you are all about the crippling spine that needs to jettison out my back. Crack!
Fear is what fuels your 1962's Colt with stolen gasoline
When I ride it I am on the minute
It drops me off on the line of fire
Flames light up in my lungs
You shout "Here are my reasons, understand, see"
That creeping sensation of the ugliest kid in class watching me behind my ear
Makes me horrified
A basket case of emotion
I cannot stress enough
It's the things I do not want to happen
Like resurrecting insects and then killing them again
Nightmare to my time so I stop moving, like, paralyzed
Fearful is the edge of the knife
Peeling back my ***** as I feel its blade cuts thin
Every slice a feeling creeping in
It abuses my skin
Replaced by a shroud of music that I sing to wheedle out
So you can continue to say I "Live in sin, live in sin"
You needed me afraid, so I became brave
You needed me small, so I became big

The photos were leaked today
They were of a **** woman with brown skin
Love making as she stared straight into the lenses
I was showed by a man who did not know how to react once I had been shown
My reaction was not shock
I merely stated "That's baad"
I did not know how to react to the staunch cyber-bully who was sure he was doing himself a justice by being so open about his anger at the naked, brown, humiliated, naked, shamed, beautiful
I am shamed by his shaming
I am naked by his *******
I am beautiful by myself sometimes
Sometimes I take the tape off my camera and position it near my bloom
I am not alone in this activity and yet I feel alone in an intimate situation, feel less alone, in a private situation.
Sometimes I work it so that every part of my dark lips are shadowed and my fingers seem to work for a living rather than play
My body is not a string
It is a temple of dark things
It is a ossuary filled with the dust of former lives
It is not to be dangled for cats for play
It has no puppet hands
Or puppet face
It smiles because it sees you smile
And she frowns when she sees you laugh
It is alive
The misfortune you hope her body will bring her is shame
I hope it will bring other people enlightenment
The fault is not in her
The fault is in the malicious, villainous, caricature of man who is hallow and made of maddening bells
Every time you disturb him he rings in announcement "This lady I had once an intimate relationship and she abused me. Here is her punishment."
We are all cavernous tunnels with lights to shoot out of the pins and needles sensational feelings we do not desire this but we must desire to be freed from being owned by this
We all think we're exempted from shame until we are ashamed
There are no exemptions, only more bells
They ring, until background noise renders them obsolete to us

Nobody will leave unscathed
I am all-consuming fire
You are not safe from harm
You will wish for sleep eternal
Lest you be awoke when you cross me
There is pit of hell-fire that I visit boldly
It makes me brave to face every demon-goblin
When I mine these pits, it’s your caverns I seek
The ****** mess on the operating table makes me yearn you
Your red warm life must become a dry well
Then I am satisfied to make your seams heal

Accept that only the good die young
And the rest of us are here to stay
I think I can cry in public
Make you see me cry
Whole and free you can tuck me in
Your shirt pocket is my home
You can place down the picture of my brother
While we don't know how to love
I take it off too quickly
For you I would refrain from mistakes
I would become what you make of me
Style and sauce from my lips
Hell and fury is our friend and fortune-maker
Sorry for being your good girl
They say that mistakes are meant to be lessons
I'm learning how fun they are to repeat
I'm still learning how to kick it
Swinging like a child
I don't know how to be right
Just a single shot thrown back at my life

Do I make a connection without the internet?
How do i even take a break from the internet?
I'm pretty much glued to the internet
It's hard being around the internet
I don't like myself with the internet
I think we should start seeing other people, Internet
But everyone is with the Internet
Who am I with without the internet?

Backspace means nobody will see
Paper tears bit by bit with erasures
but on MS Word there are no consequences
My poems are full of backspaces
There was one right when I types backsapce
When you don[t backspqace notjng makes sense
Bu t what is life withoiut mistakes?
Silence is a life without any sound
Did I stutter? Then sing with me
Beautiful babies are something mistaken
Mother's are sometimes mistaken
Blasphemies are sometimes mistaken
The flat earth is something mistaken
I can be mistaken

I am unsure about this latest project
It seems ambition makes me procrastinate
The reality that I must acquire the skills to achieve such goals
Did you know that Life is a project?
Yes, it's a project.
We are creators creating something
Out of nothing
Our life is nothing
Without us, life is nothing
Without our "Forward, **!"
Did you know that we make the world go round?
Did you know even if we all died the world would keep on going?
But it would be rarely dynamic
Only **** or be killed
No stories
There are animals that create beautiful nests, patterns in the sand, glorify themselves
Well I would like to be reincarnated
Into a flower that is nothing
Until the lion notices

I'm learning to respect my strength
I used to be spiteful of it
As a woman, I am expected to be feminine, distressed, graceful, always right
I am not sure how it came to be but I have not respected the order of things
I have not seen that in this spiteful way I have regarded my willfulness
It has also become my saving grace in times of malcontent
My truth is clear
I am not strong because I am
I am strong because I was made by strong stuff
My mother stubborn, smart, sensual
My father intellect, humor, heart
God
I am not credited for anything that I am
But I am graced with the empowerment of women
That would not be difficult today
I cannot stop fighting even if it's easily given
Because it is a battle not a gift

I have no way of knowing
If it's now that I'm going to fall
Who knows when the gravity pushed me down
Or did it pull me toward the floor with a shadow shaped like me?
I have no idea how long before it hits me
Or is it me who hits it?
I don't know any of these
I have no way of knowing
If it's going to hurt
Who knows what I've broken
Or how many times I will say sorry
Even if it was accidental
This is all because of someone
This is all because accidents are always blamed on someone
It isn't always my fault
But it always will be a contact of two sorts
The kind that brings people together
The other kind that takes people apart
Please grace me with the kindness
To love
Or be still my heart, still

I'm very scared of being lost
I'm terrified if I don't belong anywhere
Is there something I was not taught?
That I don't fit into the me shaped peg-hole
It's truly a struggle to become myself
I have no assurance that life will become what I have dreamt of it
I have no insurance because I have chosen to take the risk
Still, I live
I will go on living
In this will is my hope
That the path does not adapt to me
I did not choose what is easy
I will become like liquid to the path
And take it whichever way I am led
It is a path, is it not?
It is a way to somewhere
While I feel like nowhere
My goal is plain in sight
It only takes focusing my eyes
To the way that's right

Ang husay ng iyong gawa na idadamot ng aking mga kamay
Hindi ito pusong o sumpong pero ako’y naniniwala na hanga ako
Paano na mas matalas ang iyong lapis kumpara sa akin?
Wala na bang masasabi?
Ang pangarap nakatago sa likod ng alapaap
Ang lilim ay parang dating kaibigan na nagkimkim ng aking mga kamay
Pero kailangan maghiwalay, dahil sa mga masasamang damo
Maganda ang itsura, may dating. Masaya manira ng tama
Mag-asim ang gatas ng ating mga anak
Hawak-hawak mo ang aking mga kamay
Itaga ko para mabigay sa iyo ang nagbibigay buhay sa utak ko
Kunwari hindi lumipad sa malayo ang aking mga pilik-mata
Kunwari lumipas ang minuto kesa sa panahon
Malupit ang oras sa kwento ng bata
Masakit tignan na malayo ang mga pinagasa
Sungkitin mo ang mga iniisip ko
Matigas ang ulo
Ihukay ang masasamang damo
Parang maliit na bulaklak lang
Sayangin ang buhay na hindi nagbibigay buhay

The desperate cling to words
Uplift their hand off the drug
They angle the situation like a friend not a doctor
Words strung together become magic without the wand
Slip on words gentle like a cotton shirt unto my silky conscience
Poems are a cure for my lonely hands
They intertwine in between my crooks and crevices
And cradle me with warmth; put pressure on my skin
I am being touched by multiple fingers
My hair is being stroked like a child
The temples become buttons which give me messages
I write and the blank pages absorb my prose like a pillow in contact with my tears
Warm and damp, how does some other arm wrap around my head to cover my eyes
Making me guess the identity of the muse
The idea revealed, only through endings
When are you complete oh mysterious column *****
You are like a dig
Messages reveal themselves like reincarnated Cleopatra
Lighted skies
Yellow eyes
Somber face
Silent grin
Over and over I am possessed
And then I forget that it's merely a dance
On acres of text
Fingers are conducting
What's next, what's next, what's next
Singular creatures hope for the rest
Until finally
My silky conscience revealing beneath
Baring it's teeth
A moon-shaped vision covered my listlessness
My acceptance of such expatriate education
Helps me to notice every expression
Hoping for that half, that a love fluent in my language can only be born to understand it
Deciphering reasons to accept the challenge of difficulty
It is known, that anything worth anything is a result of the toil
Your character appears to be rubies
You voice out your words like it's written in blood
Renting out your heart for the owning of mine

I smell the faint smell of the sampaguita sold to my father
It makes me think about the poor
Whenever we buy this chain of white flowers it is a bookmark in the senses
Poverty
Remember poverty
Smell the pleasantness in your automobile and don't forget poverty.
Who sold it to you? A homeless child.
"It comes from a place I know not where it came from, I forgot"
A life made of lies
We buy this truth but live a lie
We are not happy about the situation
We are not happy that we are happy and they are in shambles
When it rains we praise the clean billboards of the aftermath
But poverty, is not washed or clean
I am not sure what to do with this poverty of kindness
I m lacking in kindliness and gentleness
So what can there be to give to a poor child?
I desire to live benevolently
Desire does not mean I am so
But to desire makes me righteous toward the bad
And hopeful too

This is not the era in which people feel deeply
I am prone to calling myself an old soul
Relics can be found when you dig deep within my ribs and when you see through the eyes that stare
You can see the universe yearning to understand you
This is not the era I am meant to be alive in
I am born to be in the time of poets and battle worn soldiers
Where they experience pain and suffering and try to understand it
There is so much more than experiencing life as a party or a celebration or an adventure. Where are the battles to be fought? Win something with the depth of the Grand Canyon, which I have only witnessed through photos that when I close my eyes, I dream.
Find meaning in the suffering of the little life you have
Save your victories for tomorrow
Battles are no longer existing  in my life
And I am a useless soldier

I'd like to write about myself
It's strange that when I am attracted to someone
I make myself repellant
I'd like to talk about how I feel unattractive
I'm self-conscious
So I just hope nobody likes me
Because they'll see
They'll know everything
It's not good
It's worse than I thought
I'm hoping for the best
But I know I should stop hoping
Yet still I don't want to stop
I need that median
Where I feel comfortable with praise
And I''m not so ungracious
I'm worried about nothing
And nothing is what I feel
I had my first pap smear today
It felt empty in there
I can't believe myself
How much I self-sabotage
How I come on too strong
And yet I can't reign in my confidence
Being a woman is tough
I have so much sympathy for us
Or maybe I'm the only woman who has it tough
Some of them seem effortless and graceful
I'm just easy
Don't seek sympathy
Be sympathetic
Don't seek kindness
Because when you feel like crying
You need to smile so others can go on
Everyone knows
Life is tough
Just a little bit more
Stay true.

.All the little children are scattered around
The world is a playground
Helping themselves to all its resources
Not thinking about the consequences
It's playtime in the house
Nap time after snack time
Then when we are satisfied
It will all be enough
It is only enough when we are full
But the flesh is designed to be hungry
After the first meal comes the second
Until we are unto our 59,130th
Helpless children grow
Into devouring producers
Help yourselves to my plate of cheese
Then it will be enough till the next

Just as black men were slaves
So am I a common slave of poverty
And to rise out of slavery
We must struggle towards prosperity
To exert our bodies and minds
Toward the glory of freedom
We, Filipinos do not realize that
That we are chained to ideas of a caged intellect
It is not easy to forge a key that will fit into the lock
It takes skill and acumen and practice
And we must attempt every single waking moment
Once we see the light
I don't know
And yet
I do

Hello 3 am it's early and you're not bluffing
I'm seriously awake and you're still passing
All the while I have to say that you have really been carried away
I'm not able to sleep until I have you in the past
I can't sleep until I've had you at last
If it's 3 am now
Then it's not 3 am
It's just time to freak out
Please don't forget me, time
I am not to be taken for granted
I am regarding you with reverence
But 3 am is the ***** hour

Lately my whole life has been about my right hand
I have two hands
Whatever happened to the left?
Why is she so forgotten
How am I supposed to be fair?
So much of this life is lived with two hands
I need to care for the both of them
I know that most people only have 1 major hand
But there is something important about the fact that one does most of the work
While there is so much potential for the other unused hand
Stay golden, hands.

Hi everyone
I'm so sorry I haven't been around lately
Please accept this considerate apology
As a sign that I am still caring for all of you
I have all these things to do
But I never stop thinking about you
I love my life
I am so very fulfilled
And I still have not forgotten any of you
I wish you the best
I hope you have the time of your lives
Stay golden

When somebody does something to you that you find offensive
Watch them closely
Even if there is no revenge
You will notice that
They are so in pain when you mention their offense
They cannot breath
They cannot look at you
You have power over them
Let this be a lesson
To all you know who are *******
Let this be a correction

As I eat every morsel off my plate
There is a funny feeling I cannot forget
It's about the little meanings behind every grain
I chew and the feeling doesn't disappear
It's about time I unlocked the meaning behind each bite
Where satisfaction is not the only goal in sight
I have to make sure that you understand this
That one must not eat alone any longer
Because these meals are lessons about people
How every bite tells us about the needs of each other
Every act of the tongue touches the spoon to the food to the entrance of my mouth
Then there is many I cannot say who assume
That this is the best pleasure of life
This bite into heaven
Paradise on earth

I'm so torn with being alone
I'm trying my best to be free
I'm so tired of being a deception
Is this the time to be me
Maybe it's time I shouldered the burden
Of hoping at last for your affection
Sorting the past is not easy to do
But even in this affliction
I am memorizing you
There is a place where mostly my heart says to become one
And even I praise the reason for the this heart's embrace
Over and over I am above the clouds
Wasting the seasons until you make it to the clouds
At last
I'm memorizing your face
I'm memorizing your language
I hope that there is something to the touch of your embrace

A girl in indecent clothes passes a group of men
They don't know what to do but be lewd
The girl who must play it cool
Because she's not safe if she is "rude"

Your eyes staring at a part that is not yours but hers
Is controlling the way I spend my money and thoughts
Should we dress the way you think we should?
For a woman who embraces herself
Why must she be contained in a vacuum seal?

I am not sure what the world expects
But in reality
I should't need to know

Half of you think, "She's asking for it"
Well, what is it the skirt asks for?
Is it something good to her?
Or is it like taking drugs?
Sickos

If you expect me to like myself after your amazing lapping tongue performance
Then you have no comprehension skills
Comprehend me, walking fast and away
Comprehend me giving you the finger
Comprehend my mocking laughter
Consider how little you comprehend
Consider being smarter, and more kind
So I could feel you as a loving, inoffensive person

I'm not saying I don't think of you
I don't need to hear what you think of me
You've told me countless times how much you like me
But I'm just not buying it

How am I to discover to you
That I'm just not the girl for you
Because if I reveal to you
That I'm not into you
Then I'd be hurting your feelings

I'm not just some girl
I'm just not THE girl
Let me translate that for myself:
You're not just some guy
You're just not THE guy

Many times, I have pondered
Whether or not marriage is for me
Upon dating you once
I can say
I still am wondering

So that's me
I want to be somebody
I don't want to be somebody to you

Asking you to kiss me in your car
Wasn't a confession of admiration
I have a lot of walls up
That makes my confession a riddle
Easy to solve but beneath it is the truth

I have something I need confess
I'm a mess
Still, the fact that I'm an insecure mess doesn't mean I need reassurance that I'm not one
I don't need to hear that you like me
I don't need to kiss you and I don't need to let you know that I don't need a man
Take this like a man

I'm not into you

There'a pig being slaughtered in the farm
He's taking him to the alleyway
There a grocer will pick him up
And she will cradle his carcass in a vacuum wrap
He is uncontaminated
It make me nervous
Because the grocer sells innocents
The pig had no crime
Merely, he was a pig
But criminals live alongside us
Secrets make them fly in the sky
Hero to all who hope for the glories
In being known for horrible truths
Honest criminals
They eat pigs for dinner
***** criminal chewing an innocent pig
How is life going to get better?
Be vegan or cause the pig to commit a crime?
Be innocent as well? Hell I'm going now
I can't take this discussion

My graces are not fulfilled when you are trying your best to assume that I am not confident, or smart and capable.

I am not sure if I need to label myself to be any of those characteristics but I know that I have pure faith.

It is undeniable that the world is not only senseless in the best of ways but that I am senseless in the oddest ways

How I want to be a guru in tidying. I can't tidy yet. My room is done but fails the standards and hopes I have for it.

Much like a child, who fails the standards and hopes parents had for her.

Many times I hope only to speak the truth and not in earnest. I hope to speak the truth in truth. Present tense.

Future tense is my enemy because the future never happens. She only disappears once within reach to turn into the horrible truth that is present day. She only then transfigures herself into disappointment when she has passed to become Past.

My former best friend called me a downer. I am, until today, a downer to those who I thought were my friends. I guess the standards and hopes were not met for my friends to be sponges of my anger.

I am not done. My anger, palpable. To those who don't know me, I seem quiet and nervous and sometimes laughing on the inside. Hopefully people notice.

Presently I aim to live outwardly and without gentility. Rough and troubled was my youth. Mud and tumble is/was my trademark. I want that from now on. To live in authenticity and without any restraints. A bull in the field. Explosive.

How uncertain the days go by
The months pass and still we aim for the sky
How many years we are hoping for love
For more than decades we pray that there is an above
I am almost at the end of my uncertainty
A century hoped for and certain
There is a drug we take everyday
A vitamin of sorts for the affliction
Sick of love but wanting it
It's almost close to depression or elation
So I press my sweaty palms and grip
Each finger is enclosed and I am close
Until each morning is awaited
To more than just another man

Beautiful skies turning from blue to black
All the night you are temporal
Beauty is transient
Ever changing
Nothing becomes less beautiful
Only changed beauty

Serenely she placed her shoulder on the edge of her mother's
Then she went ahead and slept
Showering her dreams with emptiness
Clouding her thoughts with white noise
Almost attempting to be awake
Walking through the dream-like life she had since a babe

I'm not the same as before
I might choose war
I might choose fads
I might choose fortune
I could choose hell

Hello Mind
It's been a while
I've been alright

Hello Soul
You're so old
I'm quite impressed
You're not yet spent

Hello to the ones I've sought out to impress
With all the efforts I have left
Crumbs of passion in your wake
I am making no mistakes
No blinking while you attack
No breathe wasted on any slack
I am aware of what you say
It's all the same when both mind and soul
Seek me

Helping myself to a second portion
While all the world is on their 4th
How do I make it seem like I am caught up?
When all the world is ahead

There is something heroic about dressing simply
Because you need to be clothed well and without superficiality
With the true and natural expression of your knowledge of self
For striving for the ideal self
And for perceiving one's self as already ideal
There is a heroic quality to being the physical embodiment of an idea
Whilst maintaining sincerity, heart, passion
At the same time pragmatism and sobriety
If holiness is synonymous to being devout
Can it be the same for those who go against the grain?
The modesty when most choose immodesty is truly not an act of virtue
But an expression of individuality
Following the rules indicates intelligence
To disobey suggests a higher calling
This is merely about the beauty of being heroic in your wardrobe
Your choice of words must not be wasted
Neither should your choices lack style
Heroism is about doing what routine least expects
There is nothing predictable about the one who blends in
And pounces with strategy in order to devour your heart

Singing salutations
Showering praise
To no one in your life in particular

How to express about the eyes that I don't see?
How to caress him with words that he won't read?
There is so much to say
What to say to someone I know nothing about?
Nothing
Everything
The sky's the limit
There is no space to contain
There is all space for movement

This loveless life is a prison of freedom
I need you to cage me
My passions need to live
The best thing about the will
Is that it does not come to life
When the life is without form or shape
So come to life
Do your will
Or do your worst
Be breakable
Because I am.

I know we aren't on good terms since we aren't speaking anymore, and the last time we encountered each other you barely acknowledged me. There was a time when I was really angry at you. I suspect we aren't friends anymore because you don't think I value the friendship we had as much as you did. I know why you would think that. After all, you are the more considerate one. You were the one who always made sure I puke in the toilet instead of on myself or on the lobby floor of the high-rise condominium you used to live in. You were the one who would listen to my ranting like an all-night sanitary napkin. You were my best friend, and I know I was more of a problem than a friend. But I hope you know that I know I didn't measure up. You were the best friend a girl with issues could ever have. Even with your own, you would make me feel like mine was the issue that mattered more. Since I have to live with not having you anymore I want to pose a retort to the problem you were once faced with. You once said to me "I don't know how to help you anymore." Well, I'm glad to report that--- although my problems may not puzzle you any longer---it is no longer necessary to . If I can't fix my past, I'll have to make sure I prepare for the future, that is the rest of my life. I refuse to live in death. I insist that you forget the unsolvable problems that come in your life. Allow me to fix myself. Allow me to say thank you for being in my life at a time that I needed you. Thank you for leaving me to my own devices. I thought I would die without friends. My life today is mine. It was no small feat being a friend to me. I hope you belong in your life and belong in life. See you on the other side.

My cat has it all together
She's so successful at what she is
She knows her beauty and knows her grace
All about her, I love and adore
There is so much to say about her
Even if I go on about the same things
I can't get enough of her soft fur and her gentle purr
She's always kind
And even when she's sad she is still here

I am averse to having feelings for you
because I think that it is socially unacceptable to have feelings

There is no tiresome poem
Where your eyes rest on something
And the mind finds it appealing to its health
The heart however yearns for more
And discipline must make a play for you
Stopping your slow descent
As you digest the skeleton in your rib cage
I have met and desired many
Although little have reciprocated
I am a study in reaction
This makes me wonder
If it angers me
Or challenges my expression
Be I truthful?
Be I a mask?
Be I strong-willed?
Or be myself?
I am made to measure in the gradually sized spoons of domestication
And however much I dream about a sliding door instead of a shower curtain
There are days where I find that not being affordable is a ruse unto my dreams
My desires are not of the world
The journey this child seeks is not a price of a plane ticket
But a long life that seeks to be with life
A tray of warm things
A table of flowers
To wilt and change
A dishcloth
Waiting out in the sun
A rolled up garden hose
A comfortable dream
That aches when it ends

I'm not tired
There is time
For friendship and love
To coexist
In this sphere
Where the last thing you say is
"Take care"
Every night
With consistency and feeling
Waiting for the right moment
When there will be no more waiting
There is a dream in my heart
That I didn't realise existed
When the truth became my priority
And hearing my real voice
Without pretensions
And hearing laughter
As acceptance, not condescension
Hopeful creatures that we are
There is a place for love
And friendship
There are no real endings
Only wonder
And excitement

I don't have to be afraid to be brave
Everything can be copacetic
If I'm willing to save every bloom in my brain

There are moments and days
Where I can't begin to say
How thankful I am
That I'm more than okay
How can I thank those who've seen me through the haze?
The days when I was not myself were when they were most present
Let me name them friends
Even though some have ceased to consider me one
I'm sorry for all the things that I've done

I know I mustn't run
When the days get too heavy
You taught me how to fend for myself
You teach me how to ask for help
You all taught me how to be myself again

A refugee from the storm
I understand now the meaning of friendship
Even though this type of thing is thinner than blood
My blood owes itself to those who have kept it
Warm and unharmed

How am I going to know all the things you want
You know I don't know how to read your mind
It's a struggle eating this rice
All I am is just them and the same
Heavily rest your breath on mine
My mouth touches yours and it blows my mind
I feel as if you can tell me all your secrets
But all I know is that there's so much kept
You were always just too open about nothing
Eyes
lids touching each other
Breaking his heart
Just so you could sweettalk peace out of war
Your heart was never open to any
But your ambition was forgotten when you saw the light of the exit sign
Settle down in my arms

My behaviour erratic
My speech far from smooth
These days I can't wait to cut down anyone
Who thinks life is a bed of roses on a cloud
Life is not effortless like the rainbow you so seek
These days people are afraid
The spark dying
The fire extinguishable
Do not be depressed from what I say
There is family to hold you up
And words to console
These things are meant to be
There is a correctness in some rare person
But Me? I am far from right
I am twisted
Like a crooked spine, I hurt
If someone out there feels as I do
That no consolation may come due to uncorrectable mistakes
Please let me not feel so alone
Hopeless cases that we are
Erasures all over our life's draft
I can see my follies plain as day
I can see you clearly
There is a correctness in some rare person
Judgement, I pray you be far from swift and close to gentle
I plan to live out my days trying
Best efforts are like flower buds blooming
I plan to be celebrated for my triumphs over my trials
When I have died trying

I write
I keep my mouth shut tight
I don't say a word
I write
For the heart that cannot speak
For my knees that go weak
For the dance I cannot play out
For the music in my heart
I write
Because I cannot bail myself out of this body
Writing sets me free
Writing let's me be me
When I put my brain to work
When my hands type away acres
When I feel I fill another notebook
I pick up the emotion of this world
I cannot even understand how I write
Then everything is understood
I write so that everything plays out
I don't shout when I'm liberated
I write

Ink spills unto my lips
Perfume from the curve of my throat
We speak like matchsticks that won't ignite
Striking and striking. We dull each other down
Striking and striking
We strike just to touch
Striking. Touching
Once ignited, burned out too soon.