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CC May 13
Staying indoors
Me wanting you on all fours on your floor
Miss the intensity that comes with waiting
Your heat is emanating from a safe distance
This is what it's like waiting to be set free
Craving what is unavailable

I like the wholesomeness of you
It make me think maybe there's some hope in the world
I haven't tried on your gentleness yet
Something about you
Says some humans are alright
Craving what might be available
CC Apr 5
I've figured it out
The meaning
Life tries to beat us down
Until we have nothing left to feel
Until all sensations are plastic mimicry of what we recall it meant to be happy
There are moments when I'm beckoned toward something beautiful
Authenticity is pain
Pain is bad
Love sometimes feels like pain
Is love bad?
We know it isn't
Love is painful because it's a gamble
The loss can be huge
Then we never want to feel the loss again
As I was saying
I've figured it out
The meaning
CC Mar 3
I have found that when it comes to feeling romance
I am not very good at it at all
I haven't got the talent
I don't like reading what is in his mind
I don't like the strength of his stoicism

To take a moment to fantasize
To know that he would tell me how he felt
If it's nothing or if it's a momentary feeling that is actually nothing
I would tear down the walls and finally be free
To know the true bliss of unrequited love
To be free from knowing anything of me
To keep the sense in my mind
To create a world without him by my side
To hold steadfast to my own life
That is the meaning I am looking for.

See, the point is to share
Even if everyone is doing it
The goal is not to be unique
The goal is to be free
CC Jan 5
Sad songs make me beautiful
I listen to you and you hear it when you speak
Some moments are about breaking the body
So the spirit can soar
It's about how we discipline ourselves
In order to be free
In this gilded frame we live in
The picture is not yet totally finished
God continues to paint
Everyday is a color
Are you listening?
It's feeling that shouldn't go away
It's a moment that will pass away
This life is temporary as the clouds in the sky
My life has nothing
I am complete
CC Nov 2019
Where do I meet you my dear friend?
If you are both the past and the end
Then will you come with me to the middle?
We could be together like children
We aren't truly who we want to be
Until we find out that we haven't got enough money
We aren't who we truly want to see
Until we find out that we are worth more than money
Wherever you think you should be
It's not the elsewhere that you should be in
Take the inside of your life
And unfold it so you can see
It's much bigger than what you thought
Please don't claim littler things for yourself
Claim the bigger bigs that your remote control heart asks for
Volume up until you realize you're not speaking loudly enough
You raise your glass like you raise your voicebox
To toast all the minor scenes you've been an extra in
Prove to yourself, you're made for the silver screen
If a sliver of gold could fill a Klimt
Then the canvas you have ready would be worth a golden bar
Listen up my dear friend
You're not in a box, you're in an inbetween pause in the composition of this song
We can meet sometime in the middle
Where you're 29 years old and I'm 30
CC Oct 2019
You will never be old inside if your heart is in that space
Where he feels he is crushed by the weight of affection
When attention is the affection that it so seeks
May it yearn you more in warmth
Rather than winter
Give me summers where we can both be children again in the hot moonlight
I think it's not so bad how you have grown up
But if you could suffer me a bit of scorn
I would surely run in circles
Making a dance out of our rapor
CC Oct 2019
To the moments that push me back when I could have gone full-******
To the times when I refrained from spending the only money I had on something as frivolous as seeing you say hi
Somewhat the best antidote to stupidity is shaking my head no and waving a polite goodbye
So if I seem like I'm thinking about you alot
You may say I'm yes-ing and no-ing to you alone
Because I'm already broke
And you make me feel, like buying more time with you by saying yes
Since yes may mean an Amen to You
Even I know, No is much more exciting
No is harder
No is rougher
No is sexier
No has repercussions
No I am not interested in this superficial interaction because your space smells so much like you and I want to dig my face into your hair
So I'm sorry

I mean, Yes please.

Yes, I would like some coffee, please.
Yes, I would like to have a conversation, please.
Yes, I would like to fight my dad so I can borrow money to spend around your space, please.

It's not infinitely cool that wins anyone, though.
It's the finitely present, that gets their attention.

Let me think about how much I haven't said anything really thoughtful to myself
But I have said more thoughtful things to you than the one fixing my bed.
I have seen myself kinder because there are people who have a nurturing way to them that makes us want to be them.
And I know I am spicy and not sweet
If I could be that type of person.
I would make sure I had it easier for me to say
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