i fell in love
with a boy
who is not poetry.

he is not
ink and paper
but rather
bones and blood,
curves and edges
smooth
beneath my fingertips.

he is not
definitive words
but rather
light laughter
and soft kisses,
heaven
in a few seconds.

he is not
full of hidden meanings
but rather
giving his entirety
to a girl
who needs to use it
as a blanket.

he is not
poetry.
he cannot fit
inside these lines,
be found
within finite words.
he cannot hide
between periods,
squeeze
into stanzas.

i cannot make him
poetry.
he is perfection
and poetry
is too broken
for a love like his.

with ice stretching
up the window
and the sun’s reflections
dancing on car hoods
i told you
when the warmth returns,
we’re going to
stargaze.
you tilted your head
as a puppy would,
questioning the spontaneity
of such a wish.
i had said i was just thinking.
but i lied
because every time
i fall into your eyes
i gaze at the universe inside,
brimming with possibility,
every time
i lose myself in your eyes
it’s because
i’m too busy stargazing,
diamonds of wishes
that never could be,
remnants of dreams
that could each set me free,
the sun and moon
bold and stark
against the universe,
you ache to give me it all.
but for once,
i wanted you to see
what i fell in love with
so easily.

oh honey
we’re meant to be
don’t say
i don’t love you,
i know
i will win this raging battle inside,
but i also said
i would win over your heart,
my truth is
i can’t wipe my memory clean of you,
can’t wash your touch off my body,
i can’t warm my hands where yours used to be,
i just can’t let you go that easy.

now read bottom to top.

she is made of star stuff,
the lingering effect
of supernovas
colliding
and light
thrown in every direction,
the breathtaking sight
of immortal beauty,
the kind that shines
for centuries,
only to reach a destination
that doesn't worship her
as he does the blinking planets.

i wish to forget you.
but forever will you remain
in the soft curves
and sharp wit
of my poetry,
hidden
behind double meanings
and shards of my heart,

each line
its own wave,
stroking and begging
the shore
to remember,
please remember…
as seaglass eyes
meet my own,

and somehow
i’m drowning
standing still,
when slender hands
follow their own rhythm
and now
i am fire,
full of flames,

just then
those plush pink
lips
drip sugar-coated lies
and soon
i crave
the inadequacy
of your attention

i wish to forget you.
i may pretend,
but you are tangled
within my poetry-

this love may be mortal
but these words are eternal.

your words
have this ability
to drag my heart up
from the wallowing depths
of my sorrow,
your voice,
velvet smooth,
each syllable
softly
saving me,
your eyes,
cerulean,
never faltering,
brush over me,
watching and worried..

but now,
all i can seem to notice
is how soft your lips are,
how close we stand,
this tie between us..
it would fray too easily
if i were to start tying knots.

she is quiet-
no, she is
silenced-
by the rows
of expectant expressions
pinning her down.

she is hopeful,
painting pictures with words
and narrating with implication,
hopeful
for a future
she won't want to hide from.

she is honest,
but with only her pen,
who seems to understand
her every emotion
without even a spoken word.

she is
dreams,
she is
heart.
she is
full of flames,
she is
fire.

logic
makes much less of a mess
than this immature child
we call love

i have a bad habit.
at night,
when i can’t sleep
and there’s no more room for me to think,
i drink.
i drink your words off the very page,
the rhymes tickling my throat,
the words dancing on my lips.
i have a bad habit.
when even my own mind
is too busy
for me to visit,
i resort to one thing:
i get drunk on your words.

he drinks the darkness
as though the stars
are his only hopes

i never saw the ocean
... until today.
it was striking,
yet calm,
but i knew at first glance
there would be no easy escape.
so, naturally,
i went swimming.
and dear god, was that a mistake.
at first sight,
it was a murky blue,
the kind that
hides secrets in swirls,
holds troubles and teases.
the kind that
you knew you could get lost in
but took the risk despite it.

as the sun set,
it became a cool, candid blue.
it breathed with honesty
and covered your every inch
with a sense of power,
whispering with wit.
just a small leap,
and you went spiraling down into its depths.
after all of this,
i didn't want a new beginning
to erase the remnants
of the beauty that had once been.
i was never more wrong.

as the sun danced higher into the sky,
the candid blue before me
had become a picture of genuineness.
the golden light had begun
reflecting
over the intermingling colors,
giving way to a light green,
filled with warmth
and dimpled smiles.
to look closer into this green
was like seeing
miles of untouched, rolling, green hills,
expressing a life of potential
and love.

no matter when i looked into his eyes,
the oceans of color and feeling
were always threatening to overwhelm me,
all beginning the first time
our eyes met.

she still
wished on dandelions
and colored her dreams in crayon.

but then you appeared.

and at first,
your presence covered her
with a sense of comfort and belonging,
a blanket of serenity and warmth.

but once you had captured her young heart,
she lost all control.

soon, you erased all color from her dreams,
forbid wishes of any sort.
this blanket you had weaved
had become a cage
... and yet her heart still loved
the man who had now become
its dictator.

you left, you're gone-
i'm not sure how we've moved on.
four years have passed,
god, i can't even believe how fast.
the worst part is...
you seemed to have left her beyond repair
without even a care.

fate...
an invisible power
meant to intertwine our strings
but soon disappear
so everyone else may watch us
begin to fray
where we've tied our knots.

every mistake i make
opens yet another canyon in the ground,
and just as i begin to hesitate,
you tighten your grip.

every mistake i make
ends up with you disappointed
and me with
double-sided thoughts so sharp
they could ****.

and yet every time
i come to the same concluding solution of-sorts-
does it hurt me more to stay
or hurt you more if i left?

my mom turned out the light
and took away my book.
"no more stories, it's time to focus on your own,"
she scolded,
shaking her head with disappointment.
the door slammed shut quietly
as i sat trying to adjust to the suffocating darkness
when the window creaked open
and in you came with a candle of your own,
along with a blank book
with only one sentence-

"let's write our own- no limits."

my heart runs wild
while my fingers stutter,
my mind reaching with sticky fingers
to grasp the right words
and catch them like fireflies
where you can all admire them from afar.

but this,
this love,
this is not like those carefree summer nights,
no, this is the middle of winter-
the biting cold an ever-present guest
just as you happen to be in my mind.

funny how
just the thought of
the comfort of your hand in mine
and the warmth of your lips shielding my own
is enough to block the gusts of cold out.

sometimes i visit a place
where the fire always burns,
and the sun never fades.

a world
where my words
cut invisible scars
that only bleed when no one's looking.

a land
with mile-wide canyons
that shelter a dark abyss,
one which can curl its smoky whispers
and turn any heart against its soul.

a locale
with double-edged mirrors
that hold truths too harsh
for the ordinary beauty of reality.

sometimes i visit a place
fueled by the flames
and stretched wide with darkness,
where no one can hide
from that ugly inside.

darling,
don't you ever doubt yourself-
you are the epitome
of a perfect storm.

your words,
God,
they have the power
to shake universes,
to be the thunder
in someone else's world.

your wit, your intellect,
it strikes...
and the world hits pause
for a moment,
bathed in awe-
in a split second
the shock of your very own lightning
illuminating those around you.

your love,
oh, how i adore how you love,
softly,
with that gentle understanding
gleaming in your eyes.
but passionately,
protecting fiercely,
an ever- burning fire.

darling,
don't you ever doubt yourself-
you could be the perfect storm
in someone else's world

tears should be made of glass
because they're more transparent,
easy to see my soul,
but they aren't
because when they would fall,
they would shatter,
and no longer could that
monster inside
curl its talons around my heart
if i wasn't suffering alone in silence

i’m sorry
that i love you.

yet,
i still can’t stop this.
my heart is a traitor,
is the reason
my pen is stuttering now.

it’s done
and over,
and i know that.
but knowing that
and truly believing that..
well those are two different things.

he told me i was beautiful,
the kind of
forever beautiful
that lives on
in the word always.
no matter
how time warps the world
or how people obey its rules,
the word always
will remain unchanged-
simple,
with an easy elegance,
but with a constant love
that seems to never fade.

as his lips brush against my own,
my entirety
gives in,
and i know
he is all i want.
his light kisses
travel
from my lips,
to my rosy cheeks,
down to my open neck..
each adding to the
trail of tiny fireworks
left behind.
each dances upon my skin,
seeming to burst with love,
his love that believes
that i am the type
of forever beautiful
that one can find
in the moon.
strong and bright,
but not to be afraid of.
not overwhelming like the sun,
but an easy elegance
that stands out among the rest.

as his hand found my own,
he held it with not possession,
but comfort,
as he knew,
this was how it was meant to be.
the way his fingers
layed wrapped around my own
sent sparks through my blood,
singing with bliss
that i was the type
of forever beautiful
that one can find
in a rainstorm.
steady and calm-
constant love.
the way that even when it all ends,
part of its beauty still remains behind,
just like how
everytime he sees me,
i leave him breathless
and wishing that i'd never leave his side.

he told me i was beautiful,
the kind of
forever beautiful
that many seek
but can never find.

as his blue eyes
followed not my body,
but my own hazel ones,
they whispered with innocence
that i was the type
of forever beautiful
that one can find
in the sky.
simple,
but elegant.
dressed in so many colors,
but breathtaking at every moment.

you may be gone,
but at just the sound of your voice,
i become your little girl again
and lose myself
in the hidden memories
of the past.

to be a writer..

it’s an awfully emotional adventure.

it doesn’t mean
you’ve always got a pen in hand.
it also doesn’t mean
you’ve got too many voices in your head.

to be a writer
means to fall in love young,
and to never fall out of love.
because like a true love,
the words will never leave you
or never let you down.

to be a writer
means that you want it;
you crave the aligned phrases,
the scratch of lead on paper,
the depth of the ink soaking in.
the beauty that the words leave behind.

to be a writer
means that you need it,
that without it,
you’re not sure how you’d speak
without a voice.
it means that early in the morning,
when your cheeks are stained with tears
and your heart is trembling
within its cage
the flow of words
coming from inside
is the only thing that can save you.

to be a writer..

is an awfully wonderful adventure.

hi, you geek.
this one’s for you.
not that this is the only one
about you,
but for now,
it’s the only one i’m writing for you.

i love you.
three words
that tasted like sweet candy
on my lips
after i told you.

also three words
that i came to regret.

but now i see,
as much as i lie
and hide behind
my crafty facade,
the truth still remains
as a weight in my mind.

i love you,
you geek.

i want to lay down in the grassy fields
oceans away
and feel the caress of the breeze
kiss my skin
where our bodies met.

i want to sleep among the stars
worlds away
and dream new dreams.
and when i awake,
use the soft light from the stars themselves
to write beautiful poetry
of the new world i will create.

i want to swim in the depths of the oceans
miles away
to find the beauty in the world
that no one has yet to unmask,
that i know is there,
because you've shown me it.

i want to fly with the wind
all over the globe
to see
all that there is to see,
until my heart is as light as the wind that carried me,
and my mind is in a state of euphoria.

i want to sit among the clouds,
high above us all,
and watch the world go by
beneath my feet.
and even if i may not see you sitting beside me,
i want to feel the weight of your hand in mine,
praising me for living through all of our dreams
for you.

darling, don't be afraid.
it's okay
to be jealous.

don't be afraid,
don't let it **** you.
become jealous of the idea of him,
of all he could have given you,
and all you have to share.

do not become jealous
of the girl who's now there instead.

darling, don't be afraid.
it's okay
to be jealous..
to have an itch
and a wish
of what he now has
that you don't.

don't let it **** you,
don't let the fear get in your head
and warp your beautiful mind.
you are real and kind,
and more than he deserves-
do not become less than that.

do not become jealous
of the girl who's now there instead.

wake up.
why won’t you just stand up?
open your eyes.
i refuse to believe any of the universe’s lies.

stop this.
i hate to reminisce,
don’t let this be true.
we’ve got so many dreams and wishes to pursue.

i don’t understand.
this wasn’t planned,
this is too soon.
who gave three women the right to cut one string?

but no one knows how one string
can affect everything.
once whole,
now two,
frayed at the edges where the scissors broke through.

please, don’t you see what you’re doing to me?
i can’t stop the tears from running free,
can’t stop the sobs from shaking my whole body.
help, please, help, anybody, everybody, somebody.

no matter how much I hold my hands over my ears,
i can hear the universe’s words loud and clear.
no matter how much I wish it for it not to be true,
i know that you’re gone.

nobody knows.
nobody understands I suppose.

i didn’t even get a goodbye.
all I can do now is look to the sky.
and while I may not be able to see you again,
i hope you’ve watched me battle through this unknown terrain.
because if there’s one thing I’ve come to learn,
it’d be that I didn’t know just how strong we can truly be.

Winning everyday
Over those who
Mistakenly don’t realize how strong
Every single one of us is.
Never underestimate a

WOMAN