I am an addict
in need of saving.
You're my heroine

She’s broken.
I’m addicted.
We both need a fix.

You illuminated my life just
as the sun lights the earth
when it is most needed.
When the moon could no longer be seen
because the moon meant "to dream"
and the dreams that I had of love
were no longer in existence.
That was when you arrived,
when the illusion was leaving.
Illusions are like dreams,
nothing more, just that one is conscious.
How ironic that to this day
I can't get you out of my mind.
I guess "forever" was promised.

Man, I tried to get it so I could fit in, but I had to dead it.
As I grew up, all I knew was that this pad and pen is
My escape from everything I've set aside,
'Cause when I jot my little rhymes, the only time I feel alive.
I know my mind's much organized,
And not a moment passes by
When the roles I've played align.
But as I'm piecing these components, this becomes the closest for a poet just to cope with all that agonized.
Yo! You can't philosophize if you're avoiding the sunlight.
My soul disperses all these verses, hoping that each line could shed some light.
We're all alike, here's my advice: put some work in,
Don't forget you're still a person.
Learn to get immersed in what you love
Because the universe will draw your blood.

So violently violet.
I’m a bruised discolored soul.
The grass looked so green
when I was blue,
but not every light means go!

I wanted to kiss you goodbye,
but you’re such a light sleeper.
You were dancing with the angels, I could tell.
You were smiling with no worries,
I know life can be hell.
Couldn’t disturb your peace,
when you make my pain ease.
I wanted to hug you goodbye, your arms feel safe.
You are my haven, but I’ll tell you at my pace.
I will repay my debt.
You gave me all the right things,
when I had nothing left.

We watch movies together.
I feel lighter with every flick.
My comedian, you make everything funny.
I don’t care if you can’t love me
because with you I feel lovely.
You take away my blues,
Yes, take all my money.
I wish you were here when I  feel gray at night
because, against my darkest depression, you always win the fight.
When it comes to food
you make the greatest suggestions every time.
You accompany me during flights.
You understand all my needs.
You’ve become my obsession.
I think I love you.

I long for connection
I know my values; they’ve yet to align.  
I feel estranged from the world
Where has it all gone?  
Am I running out of time?  
I tore at reality's seams,
But some things can’t be philosophized.  
I hide behind the tears of a clown,
A mask that I wear in the veil of my mind.  
A dying star, with nothing in my orbit—
My mind’s a galaxy for thought,  
But the stars burn dark,  
And the thoughts are morbid.

I really did believe
that absence
made the heart grow fonder,
but truth is...

I waited so long
for you that the only
thing I became fond of
was my loneliness.

you left a mark and the thing is,
the love drug has no effect
If you’re not holding the syringes.
Swore I wouldn’t get addicted
you brought me ecstasy
and cured me of a sickness
You made away with my depression,
but Mary Jane is my mistress.

It was easy for you to fall.
You weren’t balanced
and I put you on too high a pedestal.
I helped you get back up on your feet,
but you must really love to crawl.

She doesn’t want to be loved, just wants to be felt.
She wants a full feeling, not something fulfilling

I wanted to give her my seed
She dragged my name through the dirt
She takes more than she needs
She's never been down to earth

Superseded my conditions with something simple, a vision for the mind to segue into:
An expedition to the stars, a journey towards difficulty fortified my convictions.
Experienced fourth dimensions, I have stepped into the infinite.
And none is perfect, I am aware of my impulses.
With a heart full of verses, I set the stage to play a role. This is all with a purpose.
I have indulged; I am at fault. There's so much to interpret.
Turbulence settled.
I learned to get leveled with vendettas developed since I was a kid, man.
Learned not to meddle; instructions were heaven-sent.
To go where few bodies had been, I had to find hobbies that aligned with the angels so that I could find the angle
to finally handle everything that I've been through.
A prevailing discomfort encompassed; imagine the troubles.
I rolled with the punches, and I came out triumphant.
From starving to marveling at the cosmic alignments and frequently fighting with God to having so many run-ins.
It's hard to keep a facade when destiny's tugging.
At war with myself, but the timing is perfect.
It has to be worth it; the truth has emerged.
Ever since I sunk into the depths where I dwelled and found my way to the surface.

the heart doesn't breakeven.
she definitely has the bigger half.
if she doesn't come back.
I won't have much to give.

she somehow always
finds more, meanwhile, I'm limited.

I know she's meant to love many,
so I get lightheaded when my heart gets heavy.

We used to be so uplifting to each other.
I have never felt so featherless.
They say the early bird gets the worm
but is that really why you left?
was I holding you back? when I only wished you the best.
it seems the good times have faded, like your love for me.
I stay by the phone hoping one day you'll be calling.
I see you in my darkest dreams.
I can't wait to go to sleep.
You are so hauntingly beautiful

I can only wish my presence were enough to satisfy my absence.

It hurts to watch you
attempt to heal,
but it hurts even more
to watch the healing method fail.

The milks gone bad
My drinks all flat
The lights now flicker
My favorite fruit‘s bitter
Every morning a pimple
My shirts always wrinkled
I’m sleeping less
My hairs a mess
If you were faking it
round of applause
for my favorite actor
So help me god
since you’ve been gone, Love.
my life’s a disaster.

I used to be a different man, bent and mad,
Until a spiritual awakening, rude enough to shake a man,
Forced my hand to take the driver's seat,
To tackle my reality.

Full force is what it takes to move snakes from the grass,
Every path you tread should never be the last.
Know that even when it snows or slows,
It shows you weren't putting on a show,
Because you made it past every single one of your episodes.

I had to cut her loose, even though her caboose could move a moose,
My knuckles are bruised from doing too much Bruce Lee to Richard.

*****, you surprised?
You think if I knew I could rap like this,
I'd keep the disguise.

I euthanized the part of me that used to think
Part of me was incomplete,
Now I'm into pottery and quietly winning the lottery.
Pardon me, the oceans parted for me long ago.
If there's anything that you know that I don't, would you rehearse it?
Sometimes I feel that I've been cursed
With enough knowledge to have been bathed in the Lazarus Pit eternally.

I yearn for thee to come forth,
He who believes could spit better.
Ever since I learned to read, I had to see what they didn't want me to see.
It's deceit really to have been withheld from intimacy.

I mastered the art of plastering smiles through the anguish.
I'm an insane human who's come to disrupt the English language.
I'm fascinated by plains, dames, fractals, diamonds, societal changes, and women.

I grew up listening to mad rappers and what churches called sinning,
But I knew what was meant for me from the very beginning.

You put a halt on progression.

loving you was wrong,
I just learned my lesson.
I understand the blues and
I picked up your depression.
My heads in the clouds
but I know you won’t see heaven.
You are a wolf
in sheep’s clothing
not a blessing in disguise.
No matter how it’s woven
you keep on fabricating lies

I wish her smile wasn’t perfect,
that her laugh wouldn’t hypnotize.
I wish every greeting wouldn’t wave a sea of emotions within me and that she wasn’t kind.
I wish she would hurt me and not apologize.
To think that It took hers to finally see through a woman’s eyes.
I wish It wasn’t her presence that made my anguish subside.
I wish the pain wouldn’t diminish when she hugged me.
I wish she wasn’t her, I wish she were ugly.

You let me fall for you
I became so used to your touch
now I am paying for your wrongs
I know where I messed up.
I feel so ashamed
of the love coursing
through my veins.
the flame of passion
that you left me remains
but you being someone else’s
will never change.

I mistreated you
I cheated you of a freedom needed for us to mend.
I was wading, waiting just to swim again.
against the tides is where I’ll find the path to pave the space needed
to make way for every ounce I couldnt appreciate
Never sing a song to a woman who wants to leave
I’ve turned into a madman, I think that’s enough for me
Will I make it to the end we’ll just have to wait and see
I ain’t Think that far yet but there’s no time to be
The one to hold you in his arms when your heart bleeds
I can’t humanize my **** disguise we’ve parted ways
My soul and I Parlay
prequels fondly pondered I’ve tread onward
focus was astray
Ive taken bigger bites than one can chew
Without a stain
I’ve seen it through
I came to play with aftermaths
And whatever’s left of sanity
don't know it all and won't pretend i Am saint
To me, imposing my beliefs would be deceit
Can’t captivate
man who has refused to see
Reduce the heat, don’t slave away for poverty
Its uncommon to solve problems with commodities
You’ll have to seek beneath the skin
My best attempt was making peace with the friends ship
allowed to sink
I keep the channel open, hoping that we meet before it ends.
I'm finding new approaches to the dreams I will transcend.
Now with all I know I can make sense of the events, a toast to the amends .

If all I see is gray? Does any of it matter
I see the world for what it is, Gradually It's gotten sadder
Moral victories or rich enough to fly to Saturn
Shiiet, I’ve been thinking about the latter
They say money can help do unthinkable things
So what you rather be, down to earth or outta here once the meteor/media hits
I came from another world, just to watch an eclipse
Careful where you fall, cause reality slips
best believe when you come down, your choices are fixed
know if you don't dumb down The tables’ll flip
Sometimes what you have to say is so outta here
It's difficult to present, the worlds ill-prepared for such incredible gifts

Your voice
is the melody
of the song
I’ve never heard.

You’re hurting, I know.
I hope to bring solace
to a desolate soul.
Even If I tried
I couldn’t replace you.
I must admit you‘re
my favorite shade of blue.
What is said is true of the plenty
of fish in the sea,
but you are a mermaid
basking by the beach.

Roaming through Rome's ancient roads all alone,
The days tally up when you're all that you know.
A piece of me hasn't ceased seeking Sicily,
I'm hoping to meet someone beautiful.
The flowers of Florence influence my poems,
Their petals, like verses, unfurl in full bloom.

I’ll erase you
“we”
weren’t carved in stone.
Life is what you make it,
but you go where the winds blown.
What you sold was *******.
I was ripped off,
your love was counterfeit.
“Us”
just lost its appeal,
so I had to split.

(Verse 1)
Although right now this means nothing,
all I can offer is an apology
so pardon me for the tears that shed.
I kept us hidden cause I wasn’t ****.
Our world was filled with secrets
that I feared others could never accept.
I eradicated all of the intimate pics you’ve ever sent
All I have are mental mementos.
The memories are only gone when I’m faded.
It helps not to remember because
I’m haunted by “we almost made it”.
I dare not remember the sweetest kiss I’ve ever been graced with
or let the next one even remotely resemble
the control that was over me.
You’re not the one I thought you’d be.
Truthfully, I wish you were here,
so I keep you in my poetry to feel you near.

(Interlude)
I write and write but there’s always something missing.

(Verse 2)
I miss,
sitting on top of the world and being understood.
I miss,
the gaze into my eyes so I could focus on yours.
I miss,
the day's love songs would resonate a bit more.
I miss,
our dope conversations and the breaks I‘d take just to get my fix.
Now my walks home are quiet and my playlist just doesn’t sound the same.

(Outro)
I write and write because there’s always something missing.
I know that I talked your ear off
…I just hope you listened.

If all I see is grey, does any of it matter?
I see the world for what it is,
Gradually, it's only made me sadder.
Moral victories or being rich enough to fly to Saturn,
****, I've been thinking about the latter.
They say money can help do unthinkable things,
So what would you rather be: down to earth or outta here once the meteor hits?

I came from another world just to watch the eclipse,
Careful where you fall, 'cause reality slips.
Best believe when you come down,
Your choices are fixed.
Know that if you don't dumb down, the tables flip,
Sometimes what you have to say is so outta here
It's difficult to present the world with your gifts.
'Cause they're ill-prepared to realize that you're sick,
Slick enough to make it rain on 'em with nothing but a drip.

The world could be submerged,
probably no longer on this earth.
The ground has split In two.
I don’t know a thing
‘cause all I can
think about is
you

I’m drunk on desire.
You’ve fulfilled many wishes.
You shine bright.
What you are outdoes
my imagination’s limit.
No matter how inspired,
I could never create
something as exquisite

(Chorus)
Remember the panic attacks, I don't know if it's the mushroom tabs,
sometimes I think that God was tryna talk to me .
Thought that I could stay abroad,
Even If I felt a fraud,
I’m never running from it

(Verse 1)
Lately, I've been feeling like a sittin’ duck, Keeping all my windows shut
Knowing’s not enough
Been tackling the mystical, things have gotten difficult the answer to it all is love
I’m Not superstitious, trust my vision Everything’s a system
Looking in the mirror,  ponder if I play the victim
Flipping through these channels, yo! Has it even clicked yet?
You can Make it to the top, but you’re no better than the insects
Let me be descriptive,
I thought that I could sing to her, Destiny’s my mistress  
You can go a lifetime, just waiting for forgiveness
Some things are too ingrained in us, it’s instinct, Can't resist it,
know yourself, you’ll know your mission But take too long you’ll miss it
Life is an Enigma don't dismiss the tribulations
amidst the dissonance are some greater revelations
Opportunity will knock
Your only obstacles temptation

(Chorus x2)
Remember the panic attacks, I don't know if it's the mushroom tabs,
sometimes I think that God was tryna talk to me .
Thought that I could stay abroad,
Even If I felt a fraud,
I’m never running from it

(Verse 2)
cautious where you look   because you just might
Open up your eye and get your lens right
Certain truths you can't fight, welcome to the insights
A gift from the above, some like to call divinity
it comes with pros and cons
Once the ego fades your lowest moments just begun
A glimpse into the future, cool, the past can't be undone
The script you choose is only that, make sure that you have fun
be in kinship with your senses
it’ll rob you of the simplest things so easily if you let  it
recently accepted, the greater good’s subjective
Truth is, peace within, all comes down to your perspective

My biggest fear was dying, nowadays it's feeling alone. It took me twenty-eight years to peer into the looking glass. Somehow, I found that my habits weren't so destructive. Overly mindful of my own disruption, I was dangerously close to doing nothing.

Struggling, searching for pieces long removed from its subject, led me to the mountains. Time unveiled its wisdom; the pain made me philosophical as the years escaped my grasp. Alas, as the years amassed and the veil slowly faded, I came to understand that trials and tribulations should never foster hatred. It's never too late to ask. Every path you tread should never be your last.

Perfected words whisper through me as the pain comes to an end, and I delve into the depths where habits lie shattered. Self-destructive patterns become easier to distinguish. I knew I could pursue some new beginnings if I quit being distant.

Picture me fitting in. Picture me painting pictures in sync, not as a victim. There are things that I've been missing out on.
I just haven't been living.
I relinquish my resistance—for me.

There’s nothing novel in my possession
simply a puzzle mind with a broad perspective
Replete with concepts and dozens of questions
Sometimes I wonder if time will confess to its intentions
Does more await of quasars remnant?
Because I see where the dots connected
I am receptive to the astral message hidden amongst the stars
Though if on this journey, were I ever to embark, I must leave the mind ajar

Where should I begin?
There once was a time when I thought I wanted mansions  
Looking in the mirror I can't recognize what happened
Used to be a happy kid, the images are graphic
The lane to ecstasy left me stuck in traffic
Best friends, I lost them
Best we don't discuss it
       Enough with all that gossip
I'm merely being honest
In ruins, never tarnished  
only semi-caught up  
With the pedagogy
Passed down by a goddess

Look at what she taught me, A way to look within
      You can tell she brought to me a way to live with sin
     The Blueprint for My Vision is the one I wrote in pen

I wanted badly to impress you.
To somehow enhance my creativity.
I was my best when you were with me.
You used to be my world,
but now you’re just pretty.

I replayed my side of the story
a different way,
every day you were gone.
Until saying nothing
became all I had to say.
No more stars in my eyes.
You were the eclipse to my sun.
You made it hard to shine.