Skinny lover
Built like a dove hand crafted from the heavens above
Your icy skin calms my storm
You promise ice and I promise warmth
You're here but quickly fleeting
Your fingertips are losing feelings
So I give them a squeeze and shove your hand in my pocket
I'll kiss them to give you the tingles if you've lost it
The illness blots your mind but don't worry
I have a tissue to wipe it up when you're weary
Skinny lover
Your legs don't meet and I know soon neither will we
You no longer care to be my baby
I pray you see that you're important but you pull my hands apart
Fill the space with your head and tell me that I shouldn't waste prayers on the dead
Skinny lover you break my heart
In the watery reflection of your face you find relief
I wonder why you don't find that in me
Skinny lover
Playing deaths game
I know you're hungry baby just say
Skinny lover life of pain
I just hope you start to crave a hunger for change

Can you feel that?
That thing in my chest.
Just started beating.
What feeling is that?
When you look at me I feel something in me click.
I feel so stupid
I know i'll regret this.
It pounds against my chest.
I think i'm gonna get sick.
I feel things inside.
I just dont say it.
I swear there's a spell on me.
What magic is this?
The way I adore you.
It's so pathetic.
I think you cross my mind every minute
No longer brain dead.
I break my neck to glance at you.
No spinal cord was given to me.
That's why I act like puddy when I have your body near to me.
I like this thing you do.
But boy what's your toxicity?
This feels a little like heaven.
But is it slowly killing me?
I bet you didn't know you ignite the very thrill in me.
The smile you show.
You put the very chills in me.
The ecstasy.
I don't know what you're doing.
Got me drooling all the time.
You summon the very kid in me.
Wait,
Can you feel that?
No?
Me neither.

I've never felt my heart skip a beat.
Not until he took it and pushed it.
Out of rhythm.
No longer on beat.
There is something in that smile.
Something in the scent that can slow or speed up my thumps.
I don't understand how you do this to me.
Help me understand.

Please fix me
I'm desperate
Pleading
Grasping to you but not breathing
How are you dead with your heart still beating
Something deep within you
Gnawing
Eating
Watching as you wither and your mind turns needy
Honestly I'm greedy
Wanting to give unconditional love to someone who will always love and need me
I wanna be the thought in their mind
Staying there
Never leaving
The load I carry is heavy
Never knew my mind could be so empty
The scary part is when I look in the mirror I don't realize that's me
Don't wanna be a name in a graveyard
Depression is so scary
Suicide takes too many
Victims rest easy
I know you didn't know me and I know you didn't "need" me
But when any kid dies at their own hands it leaves me grieving
So much pain
I feel it trying to **** me
But I won't let it
I'm too busy trying to fix me

Every minute of every day I cry.
I know my eyes seem so dry.
But beyond this surface there's pain and lies.
There's a hole right in my head.
Filling with everything that I hear or that's been said.
I didn't expect so many to place the gun there and pull.
Tears fill my mind and lungs.
Deeper and more clear than any pool.
There's a leak to fix.
But where's my tools?
I'm saying i'm fine.
And you think it's true.
This is the most stupid thing you could do.
But I cry in the shower so who's the fool?
Off I go.
Reaching for hope and proof.
Empty hands and broken truths.
Need tissues.
But hiding it will do.
Don't know if i'm sad.
Or my hearts beating thinner.
Fighting to be like your an angel.
End up treated like a sinner.
No quiet.
Just noise and fillers.
While I cry on the inside.
My smile gets bigger.

I cry so much
But maybe you thought
I wasn't crying enough
Thank you for your help I appreciate the tears
You work wonders with your words and fear
I understand why you you did what you had
Maybe my tears were reward enough
Maybe the ducts had run dry
So thank you
For making them run

You are brutal
Intoxicatingly beautiful
Filling each part of me like i'm some kind of void
We come together
An explosion of hate and toxicity
I hate how perfect you are
I hate how much you make me love you
We fight like cats and dogs
and then
We love one another so much
We squeeze every ounce of pain away in our embrace
But you are brutal
Words so hurtful and vile don't feel like kisses
Thoughts so black and twisted don't allow things to grow
We are living proof
When a volcano meets a tornado
I would end it all and leave
I would tell you about yourself
I would hate you
I would let you see how much you've hurt me
How much you captivate me
If you weren't so brutal
If you weren't so beautifully hurtful
I love you

Stick around
Let me lose the keys to our car
Let me steal your clothes and claim 'em as mine
Let me keep you up late knowing we both have work tomorrow
I want you to stick around
I wanna burn the food the first time I try and make you dinner
Stare in the dark and whisper back and forth when we're both afraid to close our eyes and drift a little
I wanna argue with you and make up in 30 minutes
I want you to wake me up with stories of your dreams
I want to drive in the car and make images out of each cloud
I want you to stick around
We can pick up each other when we're down
I'm not a Queen and you have no crown
But we can rule the world together
As long as you stick around

I swear he acts like drugs
Filling my system
I get one whiff of his scent and i'm hooked
I feel his fingertips brush against my skin and just like that i'm high
He takes the very dark parts of me and lights them up
A mix of uppers and downers because
I love him to death but
Some days I could choke the life out of him
I think that
In his presence i'm blessed
I would do anything to get another hit of
Whatever he has in his eyes
In his smile
Something so intoxicating
So vibrant and wild
I feel like a ****** when I can't hear his voice
Searching for that one little piece of me that gets me 10 times higher than all drugs mixed together
If he was a bad habit
I wouldn't kick it
If he was poison
I'd probably still drink it
Happily
Just to get a taste
Just to be strung out

I am a still body of water.
Motionless and patient.
Determined to disappear into the bigger picture.
Slipping through the cracks of thoughts.
Always unnoticed.
I can be nothing.
I am.
That is
Until there is a rock.
Tossed into me.
Into my very depths.
Making every part of me move with life.
Everything awakens.
I feel like some part of me is different.
No longer calm and still.
But alive and well.
And just like that
A few ripples are created.

You should live because the show you're watching isn't finished yet
You should live because you haven't turned in that paper you worked really *******
You should live because somewhere an animal wants to love on you
You should live because there's a pizza in the freezer that you haven't even cooked yet
You should live because people in messed up situations are still going on maury
You should live because of Popsicles in the hot summer time
You should live because of the goosebumps you get when the hot water touches your skin
You should live because we don't know if aliens are real or not
You should live because your bed would be really lonely without you
You should live because of the really light drizzle of rain when it falls down on your skin
You should live because you have a life worth living
Even if it kinda ***** really bad to do it now
You should live because i'm living too
And in reading this aren't we kinda in it together
Fighting similar fights?
Live to win
Live to bounce back
Live because you can
There are so many reasons to live

I'm told everyday
I don't know the struggle of the streets
I'm not saying that's not true but adults just fail to see
They don't see what's in the school
Or that I see the poverty
Drugs passing through the halls like a type of flu you see
I wish it were a joke but then I really wouldn't see
The hurt
The pain
The lies
But that's what happens on the street
She's a single mother
Only sixteen
A life supposed to come from love
Just made of violent tragedy
The kids that we know
Dropping like the plague
Laced drugs they put in their bodies
Changing how they behave
A girl gets bullied to death
Just in the eighth grade
Because her teeth weren't straight
And she didn't have Gucci 'round her waist
She bullied herself
Pushed herself to end it
Her parents worked hard
Didn't make money just to spend it
A couple coming back from prom
Having a great time
But on one hand they had been drinking
Then they decided to drive
You have to imagine the mothers pain
The tears in their eyes
When they had to identify their babies
Finding they'd just died
Maybe
I don't live out in the streets
But I realize pain and suffering
Wasn't even on the streets to get to see life this way.

I am depressed
I am a sad child tossed into a sad world
I hear others speak of me
And cant bring myself to care
Because the comments are true
And I'm nothing to me
In my head I hold no value
Besides support to my peers
A family member to those close
And a love to a lover
Often I kept my poems hidden
A level to my insecurity
Quietly breaking myself down
I'm increasingly quiet
And even more sad
But the thing is I cant blame anyone but myself
I'm trying to hold on
I don't want to depart
It'd be better to stay in bed
And if the day had no start

So...you came out of nowhere.
But you make my heart beat right out of my chest.
And I know I just showed up too.
Playing hide and seek in the dark and light of your mind.
And I know I get that too.
I know you get all nervous when we get close.
I can tell that we obviously aren't just good friends.
We rush into each other so quickly.
Grasping to every difference in the other and also the similarities.
You're like the puzzle piece I'm missing.
I would check every place in all the rooms of the house to find you again if I lost you for one second.
It's like each piece interlocks.
Snapping together mentally and physically.
We're two different colors blended together on the same canvas, creating one beautiful shade.
I know you look at me from the corner of your eye.
I know you care about what I say a bit more than the others.
I never knew I held light but,
You tell me despite the fact that I can't see your dark
I cast light on it.
I feel it.
I know you feel how I can go from a total wreck to a tiny little plant.
Taking in every ounce of sunshine you provide.
I know I level you down to earth and
Somehow
Though we've started at two different places
With somehow alike and different views
we've came back to where we started.
Together this time.
A little more happier than we used to be.
And probably a little more dumb.
I love you.

I am a failure
I am the look your mother gives when rent can't be paid
I am the soul of an addict who has been clean, only to relapse
Tears flow up to my eyes and I can't help but wonder
Why am I always picked last?
I am the eraser of a pencil
So close to an object so good at creating
Be it dreams or mistakes
And I am the end piece
I cut away at mistake
I banish things people don't want to feel about themselves.
There I am
With a flyswatter and bug spray
Chasing away their depression like the little creature it is
Flies swarm around the dead bodies of my dreams
They feed on the tiny little pieces of hope I could ever recreate.
I am climbing up a hill of bodies
Each one in more pain than the last.
They grasp onto my clothing and look deep into my eyes.
My core shakes.
Yet I still clutch to the bodies my pencil, my sword, still in hand.
What is in the black orbs where their windows to souls should be?
I kick away their hands but can't block out the words being tossed to me.
So I open both hands to receive
Falling helplessly into a void
I see fields of failures
All human forms
Out of the darkness I am clutched by the hands of a tar demon
Carelessly I am thrown aside
Among the bodies of those still groaning out the bitter word
Failure.
In under a minute I am drowing
Head forced so violently underwater
I try and reach for the hands of other failures but
Even they cast a dark eye to me.
I reach now
For tiny streams of light in the dark deep ocean
Holding onto my last breath like a mother holds a child.
Right before my eyes roll back and my heart stops
I fall through the earth
Falling to the grassy dirt on my face
At once it is sprung upon me
The masses chanting the one word I feel burned onto the muscle of my heart
"Failure!"
They cry
Pointing a long accusing finger at me.
I am once again just a washed up freak of nature
I break my pencil in two and run into darkness.
Trying to mend the broken parts of myself with flimsy bandaids
Trying to stitch closed my deep emotional wounds with cheap thread.
In that darkness I see a shadowy figure
Something completely composed of depression.
I am handed a plastic mask
Beautiful, plain and generic
A perfect smile and happy eyes drawn on
And though I wear it to deceive the eyes of many
My chest still burns with the word
Failure.

We're supposed to look ahead
Cast our eyes towards the future
Look towards what we want to reach
But plans don't work
We run around
Driving ourselves crazy
Planning for things
When we might not even wake up to see tomorrow
We bash our heads against walls
Thinking about how we failed when
Life goes sour and time runs out
And everything you care about falls away
Pieces of us go into everything we do
And we point out the little man afraid to cast his legacy in the hearts of millions
Or possibly just a few
But is he so wrong?
Life does not make schedules
We can't put tragedy on hold
Some plans work
A lot of them don't
Everyday is just a guessing game
A shot in the dark with a unknown target
And for what?
To be left or forgotten
I praise the outcast
Refusing to be forgotten
Going against the mold
Keeping dreams of the past
Close to their heart
Because thoughts that haven't been thought
Love that hasn't blossomed
Smiles not smiled
Plans unmade
Those are the things that work

She wears the black rose because her beauty is darkness
Though many will try and fill her with their light
Searching for parts of her to point out and examine
Though in casting bright lights into her darkness
They miss the most beautiful parts of her that are hiding in the shadows
Sometimes beauty isn't meant to be pushed into the light
Or tested by many trials
Because then beauty fades regardless if it is founded in darkness or light
And then everyone else searches around for it
When maybe it was just in front of their face the whole time
In the darkness
Waiting to be appreciated