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Charlie Dog Jun 2018
I leave the strong weak
I stop many in their tracks
My presence is contagious
I'll give you a heart attack

Give me an invitation.
Yeah, you can be the host
I'll eat you up from within
Looks like you seen a ghost

Parasitic emotion
Only care if I survive
Surround you with commotion
Hypothalamus joyride

Adrenaline is pumping
Breathe in and out fastpaced
Heart begins a-thumpin'
Muscles staining just in case

I treat many on their deathbed
And some I give a high
Others I make drop dead
So tell me,

What am I?
____ is a parasite and I, it's host.
...
Charlie Dog Sep 2018
...
My eyes are heavy
everything looks the same
am i awake?
21
Charlie Dog Jul 2018
21
when 21 is mentioned
what image does that evoke?

perhaps party goers
and late night clubs

not

birthdays sober
in your bedroom
boarded up

alone I am, and will be 21 soon
wish I could say
that I wont spend it in my bedroom
#21
Charlie Dog Jan 2018
Who is? But I am.
The words repeat in my head
Roaring like a lion,
In a chamber left for dead.
The sound reverberates off the wall
On, and on the empty thrall,
Goes out like the bells that call
The cursed to their stead.
I must go and meet this end.
I must stop this play pretend.
And so, good-bye my only friend,
Until we meet again.
Charlie Dog Jul 2019
don't waste your tongue
vocalize my demons

i am a butterfly
silent as ashes
Charlie Dog Aug 2018
dollop of jet black ink
on a backdrop of white,
framed in almond
soft doe eyes.
lashes that bid me stay.
draw me in,
dionaea muscipula.
everything is a blur
except for your gaze.
i hear music
when our eyes meet.
tease me with your smile.
oh, but i long for you
It is said that a geisha's glance can stop a man in his tracks
Charlie Dog Feb 2018
Seek understanding.
Despise the actions instead.
Hate not the people.
Charlie Dog Oct 2018
Rain pummels against the pavement of my skull.
So loud is this silence, like static on my tv.
White noise floods the every corner of my brain.
I slide out of people's lives as quickly as I come into them.
should this be longer? An unfinished thought...
Charlie Dog Apr 2018
They wont come out and say it
But I can read between the lines
The subtle hints are there
They don't want Him in their lives
He should just go away
But He is Me
So maybe...
I'll go.
Charlie Dog Jun 2018
Worry worry worry
worry yourself away
away from this moment
that might have been peaceful
lean into the fears
make believe's lethal
blind yourself of the feast before your eyes
give into the faux let anxiety rise.
The goal is to catch myself before I get to this state.
Charlie Dog Sep 2018
Ever on the roam
never staying long
always on a search for
a place that feels like home

tis a shame that where i go
this baggage i bring along
i cannot find in myself
a place that feels like home

o' that i could love
maybe i would find
that home is not an external state
but one that's of the mind
Charlie Dog Aug 2018
do I dare depend on you?
in honesty it scares me.
how can I bare to trust
when I myself am a liar.
Charlie Dog Jan 2018
Warm and smooth
Orange mayple syrup
Sun rays ladled upon my back
Absorbing the goodwill of the sun
I lay on the concrete like a hot rock
All tension set aside
Fingers dip in the water
Where the lights bounce and play
Cool to the touch
This simulacrum of the sea
Smell the salt and get swept away
To another time, long ago past
I turn my gaze up to the sky
The big bright blue expansion
It draws me in.
I want to dive into it's unfolding depths.
I want this momentary bliss
To stay with me forever.
Charlie Dog Jul 2018
Being but men
what softness know we
tough it up
**** it in
let out not a peep

what do we know
of gentle
and fair

fear to be fair
how can it be fair
rip out your heart
strip your chest bare

Tender soul
what do you know
of grit
and glory
yet you make me whole

my river's run dry
eyes that can't cry
I need you so
help me to grow

being but (a) man
a softness I seek
hold me close
lie me still
let me be meek
Not confidant with the last line but wanted to post anyway
Charlie Dog Sep 2018
My bird's nest
full of little comforts
twigs and sticks
to some miscellaneous
a scavenger's eye sees value

Online persona
social media full
a scavenger
filling my dash
with little comforts
Charlie Dog Aug 2018
freshly yield, grass mown
green the smell, like warm summer
brings me back to earth.
Charlie Dog Sep 2019
i am nothing
lighter than air
slave to the breeze
null that i offer
null that i can
i am nothing
nothing can suffer
nothing i am
Charlie Dog Apr 2018
Silent tears,
Silent battles.
In my head
They are fought.
So many, I cannot win.
One day I will fall.
Charlie Dog Jun 2018
I broke
After so many years of silence
                         I broke   ,------,  ,-------,
And everything came flooding out
                    I broke    \              /
Into a single desperate act of defiance
             I broke          \ /
A screaming, yelling, piercing shout
I broke
It wasn't enough to right his wrongs
I broke
But my fear left me that day
I broke
in that moment I became strong
I broke
And I no longer will be his prey
My breaking point is my backbone and it holds a hidden strength.
Charlie Dog Mar 2019
So much energy
declines belonging
trapped inside this
bundle of live wires
tangle
bleeding
like the pulse of streetlights
in the glow of my window
driving down the highway
a feeling I look to outrun
Charlie Dog Jan 2018
I needed more
She was not enough for me
I consumed all that she had
But hunger is a ravenous beast
She once was my everything
I loved her more than life itself
Together we felt we could do anything
But I left her to benefit myself
I couldn't let her see this side of me
Depressed, broken and unsatisfied
I took all her happiness when I left
I regret now all the ways I lied.
Charlie Dog Jan 2018
You're too kind
I blush, flustered.
You're too kind
I don't deserve it.
You're too kind
I'm a monster.
You're too kind
You don't know what I'll do to you.
Charlie Dog Feb 2018
I can’t just sit and listen anymore,
Like I use to do as a kid.
To sit and listen without contribution,
But to hear the frequencies in the voices.
Grown people can't do that I've found.
Grown people take up too much space.
They become not just a pair of ears,
But also a mouth that repeats what it hears.
Children aren't seen, and they aren't heard.
Flip the switch and now that you've grown
You are always watched.
And you're expected to speak.
Gone are the days of idle observation.
Charlie Dog Jun 2018
Who is he?
the chameleon boy
hiding in the crowed.
Look, look closely-
can you see his outline?
Who is he- who am I.
Charlie Dog Jun 2018
My truth is harmony
my truth is peace
my truth is love
my truth is you
together with me
:p
Charlie Dog Jun 2018
Give them a chance to be on your side
preconceived notions tell you to hide
but,
opening up may yield a surprise...
even still,
what if abandonment i was right to expect?
what if the truth leaves me shipwrecked?
wait,
maybe now is not the right time
should i stay mute and continue to mime?
no,
why is it that this is so hard to say,
the thing about the matter is... i'm gay.
Charlie Dog Jan 2018
Step out on the deck with me
On an autumn’s morn
Feel the wind blow through your hair
The ground, with leaves, adorned
A cold breeze nips at your skin and the
Smell of log fires being burned elsewhere
Let’s take a walk, me and you
Let’s linger in the fresh air
Charlie Dog Aug 2018
ray of light through my curtains shine
cast your glow of yellow-white
rainbow shards that illuminate
their bright effervescent design
Charlie Dog Jul 2018
Beneath the surface looms an itch
So my skin I begin to stitch
Ribbon gleaming red
My blood becomes the thread
Veins run the looping bow
pretty, but not for show

The irony
I find
Is that my skin is thick
Charlie Dog Aug 2018
The dance of the pack,
wild and carefree.
Amidst their merry howls
a haunting laughter calling out-
"Fenrir awake, tonight we feast!

Beware o' ye child,
lest your bones,
like the white ash
of a forrest charred,
be your only remnant;
and your spirit join
those of the cursed.
Remembered only
as a tale of caution!
Charlie Dog Feb 2018
The train yard is safe.
Far from society's eyes.
I can relax here.
Listen, here it comes! I love to watch them chug by.
Charlie Dog Jan 2018
I live for those likes
Gimme gimme
Addicted to validation
Gimme gimme
Refreshing the page
Gimme gimme
Compulsory tick
Gimme gimme
Obsessing over clicks
Gimme gimme
Making me sick
Gimme gimmick
This one feels a bit unpolished. But I didn't know what else to do with it.
Charlie Dog Sep 2018
Deep blue waters.
The surface looms above.
Ever elusive, just out of reach.
A glint of light, blue-green,
shines down upon me;
like layers of thick glass.
  ∙
  ∙
  ∙
  °
  °
  °
I sit at the bottom.
Calm.
Shimmering shades of cyan dome around me
egg
Charlie Dog Mar 2019
egg
the sun is hot
it's heaviness compresses
so that i become tired
i want to be still
but the ground burns
busy life no time for stillness
Charlie Dog Mar 2019
my future is clear as the green
upon stagnant waters
with only one thing for certain
Charlie Dog Feb 2018
Escape away to nature
Run away with me
Come and take this venture
Let’s see what we can see
Charlie Dog Jan 2018
Sorry, sorry, I’m late again!
Don’t you worry though,
I’ll do better next time
Because I told you so.

Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to stand you up!
I know this looks bad, but
I promise I’m not a schmuck.
I’ll make it happen, just you wait and see.
I won’t let you down again.
You can count on me.

Sorry, sorry, I promise I did try.
I know I said that last time.
I didn’t mean to lie.

Where you going baby?
We can still make this work.

Can you believe that ******* *****, calling me a ****!?
This is based on the entitlement I see in woman's messages from guys on any number of dating apps.
Charlie Dog Aug 2018
Gust of wind;
so full of hope,
so full of promise.
A sickening sweetness-
turning up the dead leaves.
They catch in the cobwebs
of my idle mind.
Charlie Dog Feb 2018
Prescriptions got me sentenced
These needles are my penance
My life’s contained in a vial
Body’s stuck in denial
Can’t bear to spare a drop
Little beads of blood that drip
Symptoms that need to stop
Belonephobia, loosened grip
Vision fades in an out
Staggered just for a Sec
Soon to find that little bout
Did worse than to break my neck
…My vile…
…My life in a pile
My life all over the floor in broken shards.
I feel like I could have pressed harder on the prison symbolism...
Maybe, "Body's stuck at trial" instead... and maybe even something about the sentence/prescription being life long... Thoughts?
Charlie Dog Feb 2018
Guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt
Ticks, like a crosswalk, within.
Cold, clanging, buried.
Ever have a sound whisper to your soul? I hear the word guilt as the crosswalk counts down.
Charlie Dog Aug 2018
green tea:
cool and mullen,
on my tongue,
reminds me to breathe
Charlie Dog Jan 2019
Dance swaying candle
Lo, enchanting flames
Dive into unblinking gaze
And erase my pain
Blow ever with me
You the eastern wind
Entwine with soul and body
Die and live again
The stars that shine above me
With abiding glow
Though we be so far apart
They too must flicker so
Charlie Dog Jan 2018
The flowers on my windowsill
Pink, yellow, purple, white
Silken petals, stalwart stems
Standing, stretching towards the light
Faintly aromatic, open faced to me.
Eloquently poised so ever gracefully.
Charlie Dog Jan 2020
I'm so alone
but i don't know how to change
or if i want to
living in confinement
this is my normal

you wouldn't know what freedom looks like
freedom is fear
freedom is discomfort
walking with your own legs

i'm afraid i might use it
and jump off the edge
Charlie Dog Jan 2018
Choking,
Just beneath the surface, I drown in the weight of the subconscious.
Choking,
I gasp for the relief of release
But still the tightness in my throat won't go,
like a wave crashing down; the pressure is non-relenting.
Choking,
I give in
Letting the thickness of suffocation overtake all, then-
Glory,
Choking no more the lights of spastic magnificence flash in my mind and I, dead, find a new energy of one fighting to live.
I breathe again.
Gay
Charlie Dog Jan 2018
Gay
His hand on my face
My jawline being traced
Caught in warm embrace  
No, we won't go slow paced
These feelings won't erase
Love's not been misplaced
No, it's not a phase
Both caught in a daze.
Your mind is a maze
I'd get lost in for days.
Get lost in his gaze
And the way he says
I'll love you always.
Playing around with the A sound here...
Charlie Dog Sep 2018
My father is haunted
he sits around an empty table
to visions of what never was
his children are dead and ghosts
but in his mind they are there
Charlie Dog Jun 2018
Our time is up
The string is taut
I hold the scissors
Ready to cut
Charlie Dog Jul 2018
She's always been like a tree,
Rooted and strong.
The resemblance
Only grew with her age.
The wrinkles of her face-
Hard and intricate bark;
And her wisdom reaching-
Branches offering shade
Charlie Dog Jan 2018
I am not my feelings
And my feelings are not me
They are just the tools of nature
To influence productivity
I need not get caught up in them
I will heed what they have to say
Then continue on again
And get back to my day
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