Being ignored?
Always forgotten?
They always treat me like that.
I feel like I have nobody.

I'm an introvert,
So I understand.
But it hurts me
I'm both lonely and alone.

I hate it when I heard them
"I feel pity for her"
I don't want them to feel that
Yes, I'm lonely, it hurts
But I'm used to it.
Bestfriends? I got none.

You can't be mine,
Because it's still her, right?
Your eyes seeks for her.
Your ears likes to hear her voice.
Your nose likes her smell.
Your brain thinks of her.
Your heart shouts her name.
I can't be someone else's,
Because it's still you. Right.
My eyes seeks for you.
My ears likes to hear your voice.
My nose likes your smell.
My brain thinks of you.
My heart shouts your name.
You can't be mine because it's still her, right?
I can't be someone else's because it's still you. Right.

I don't even know who you are.
I don't even know who they are.
I don't even know what am I to them.
I don't even know what they are to me.
Lastly, I don't even know who I am.

Why can't you see?
That it's been me
Been always there
'Cause I truly care

You always talk to her
My heart is about to tear
Why can't you understand?
That I'm the one whose giving you a hand

Why can't you notice how I feel?
Is your heart made of steel?
Yes, I know you love me
But just not the way I do to you..

But that was the past
My feelings for you last
Why do you care about me now,
When I'm already happy with another man?

In this world,
You can never understand people.
You'll never know what they really want.
Why do people always judge?

You're not good in anything they judge you.
You're good in everything they judge you.
I'm not only referring to you
Because sometimes I judge too.

They always watch your movements.
Looking for mistakes.
Even if all you did was right, just one wrong move and they'll say bad things about you,
And they won't care what will happen to you.

They'll forget the good things you did,
Your mistakes will get stuck in their mind.
Those people who insulted you,
They will only love you
When you are already sleeping on your coffin.

Blue is the sky
But blue is also lonely
Red is the rose
Red is happiness
White is clean
White is for hope

We have different colors
That makes up ourselves
True colors show up
To show what we really are

Everything is colorful
So as your life,
Make a smile
And enjoy colors in life.

For the past 13-14 years
You were always by my side
When I was young I knew this would happen
I was afraid I won't see you anymore

I wished that you could grow old with me
But it will be hard for you
You worked hard to guard our home
You never failed to make me happy

But I know you would'nt last
It hurts to see you like that,
It's better for you to be gone than to suffer like that
Thank you for being my playmate when I was young
Thank you for listening to my problems
Thank you for your existence and for everything

But when I woke up,
You're the first one I went to
I looked at you and realized you're not breathing anymore
I love you but goodbye for now
My dear bestfriend..
You'll always be in my heart.

Waves in the shore coming in my feet
But me, myself, still dying from the heat
Why is there fear between happy moments?
Why don't I care 'bout there encroachments?

Don't know if this is real,
Don't know if I can still feel
When there is hope,
There is hardships

We need to be in despair
Before we can breathe the air
Continue to have hope
Until you reach the Sea

I'm waiting that you'll completely forget about me,
So that I can walk away freely.
I just stare at you looking so happy,
Without me.

I need your love,
Can I just feel you care even once?
Even though sometimes I'm mad at you,
Stupid me, still loving you.

The other one left us,
Are you going to leave me too?
My dear friend, just tell me
When is this going to end?

We were so close
But different path is what you chose
We told each other secrets
And those secrets are sacred

I trusted you
I didn't know you would do such thing
You started to avoid me
Without any reason you left
Just like that

You told me the reason
But isn't it too cheap?
We were strangers at first
Then we became bestfriends
And now we're back from being strangers.

It has been weeks since I keep seeing you,
But these days the feelings I had seemed to fade away.
Is it because I realized I can't have you?
I already accept it won't be me starting today.

Every time my mind is filled with someone new,
I always bump into you.
The times when I don't expect  to see you,
Are the times that I suddenly feel surprised 'cause you'll suddenly appear.
When I am always sad,
You always show up and it makes me glad.
You always show up when I need joy the most.
You always show up when I least expect it.
I'm always asking myself if you're still the one,
Maybe just seeing your face was the answer.
Even if I deny it, yes, still you.

It may just be a light at night
It's a beautiful sight
Some may say it's scary
But it makes me dreamy
So it's just not a light for me
It has a deeper meaning to me

I think of you when I look at it
Hoping we'll hold hands while staring at it
We used to walk with the moonlight shining at us
But I remembered there's no us

I like you but you don't
You mean the world to me
While I'm just a friend to you
That's when I thought...
Does the moon get hurt?
Knowing it's always around the earth
Surrounding it
But the earth itself?
Never even noticed the moon

I, I don't know what happened that made me feel like this.
You, what is in you that made me feel like this.
Me, what is in her that I don't have?
Us, we are close but you don't know what I feel.

You have your mother's face.
I almost know everything about you.
Do I like you? No.
Do I love you? Yes.
If you ask me if I love you, I'd lie.

There are thousand things nice to say
Why did harsh things came out from my mouth?
Now you don't feel anything but hate
If you could trust me again, I doubt.

I'm sorry I hurt you,
To the struggles I put you through.
The truth is I truly love you.
I just got scared of losing you
I found the reason for me,
To change and start a new life.
The reason is you.

You have lots of goals,
But you don't care so you let it be
Just like the river flows.
How can you reach them?
How can you grow into a stem?

Change your mindset,
Not wearing your headset.
You cannot do something immediately,
If you give up easily.

Family are always there for you,
All you need is to not feel blue.
Be goal-oriented,
Don't worry.
You'll reach it in the end.

I thought I moved on,
That we are not bestfriends anymore
Our memories in my Heart is still going on
You liked someone more.

I know you're now making good memories with them,
But I hope our's, you won't forget
You're doing bad things
Even if I'm mad at you I still miss you
But you think they're better
I thought it's gone,
But No, the pain,
It's still Here.

It is already December,
The season will be winter,
That means it will be a cold weather,
But why does it seem you're colder?
Should I just wait until summer?
You said you love me, remember?
My heart is turning into ice as you go farther.
After the storm, it became clearer,
That you won't be with me forever.

I know someone who loves to look at her reflection,
Thinking about her own inception.
She has wounds and scars of her past,
Which she knows will never last.

She cries, wanting to be saved from those thorns in her reflection.
Thorns that deepens in her skin from sharpness.
She looked again in the mirror and realized,
It's just me standing there with the familiar darkness.

Did you ever feel that even just for a day you wanna be deaf?
To not hear the promises they haven't kept.
I just wanna be numb,
Because I'm dumb.
Like I'm swallowing a gum,
That came from the bullet inside the gun

Chaosity, is what I don't want to hear.
Those words that are my making my eyes tear.
You may think I'm crazy,
But sorry, my heart is getting lazy.

Planning something without me.
Having secrets without me.
Seeing all of you happy without me,
Makes me wanna leave.
A sword cuts my heart,
It feels like we are getting apart.
I don't feel worthy.
Those so called friends of mine,
I'm not even a friend of them.
I am useless.

Two of you are battling in my heart,
Even though none of you are battling for me.
My heart was very confused,
But now I know who.
My confused heart now,
Knows what it wants.
And it's you. My bunny.
Even if I know I'll be never be your carrot.

We had a history,
You leaving me is still a mystery.
You woke me up in reality,
That you loved me without sincerity
I was eaten by my anxiety,
Still having this misery.
Even if you hurted me,
You'll still remain in my memory.

I'm always hoping you'll talk to me like before.
I'm always thinking if you're missing us more.
Everynight in my bed I'm always thinking.
Everynight in my bed I'm always imagining it's us you're holding.

Let's continue our friendship and start a new.
I heard your side which we never knew.
My friend, let's cry, laugh, smile, talk like we used to.
But I know it will not go back easily.
We will be like we used to at the right moment.

You don't know if you'll win or not.
You don't know if you'll survive.
You're so far from being just fine,
You don't even know what your life defines.

Death says "Come with me and you'll be fine"
I reply "Why would I die before my death? Why would I **** myself when it's not yet my time."
No one can decide your death.
Not even you.
Only God can.

You need to fight that thing on your mind!
The other ones around you will not give up for you.
Your heart is closed with several locks.
For those people around you, don't just knock but help them open those locks one by one.

You don't have to fight.
You NEED to fight.
I know you're tired but you have to win.
You need to win this battle on your mind.
Don't die before your death.
Fight it. Gear up.

If I drink a lot,
I don't want anything.
You're the only one I want,
'Cause you are my everything.

Tell me how much you love me.
Tell me how much you need me.
Even if it's a lie,
It's just my way of you saying goodbye without you caring if I'd cry.

It will be a lie if I'll tell you that everything is alright
We go through ups and downs,
Because that's what life is
We are living in a good life,
We are living in a bad life

Look up in the clouds
And think out loud,
"I'll get through this"
This dark days are just temporary
Better days are coming.

2017 is about to end.
I wish those happy moments will happen again.
This year was great for me.
Good and bad memories thank you.

God, thank you for this year.
I hope 2018 will be a great year.
So many things happened,
Mostly are unforgettable.

Let's all be happy and healthy.
For the things we didn't do, We should not feel guilty.
Have a great year ahead,
All the people around the world!

I looked at all my poems and noticed that 36 out of 141 were meant for you.
I just laughed and thought I really liked you.
Right, this will be the 37th one for you.
I tried liking someone else, but it always ended up with you.
New year is coming and like last year you were the first one who greeted me,
I don't know now but I know your heart is too far away from mine.
I'm gonna cut this feelings, it won't be easy but I will because it's too unhealthy.
I'll just leave everything up to destiny.

I'm falling to fast, deeper in love.
Still thinking of ways to let you know how I feel.
I wish it's me you're staring.
I wish it's me you're loving.

The one who's understanding you, it's me.
The one who can relate to you, it's me.
The one who's here for you, it's me.
The one who's loving you, it's me.
The one that you don't have feelings for, it's me.
The one that you only see as friend, it's me.
The one that you won't ever love, it's me.

New year, not you anymore.
Well, that's what I wanted.
When did I start to like you?
Oh, that was 8 years ago.
Now, I felt like it's not you anymore.
No excitement when I see you like before.
My heart doesn't flutter anymore when I talk to you.
You were the only one I cared for and thought of.
Now, I don't feel anything.
Maybe because I accepted our fate.
I saw a post earlier about someone hoping their crush would greet them,
But why did I think about you?