I've
created so
many alter egos
the real me, nobody no
longer knows...

On the hunt for love
i nearly died
i became precious prey
to violent predators
with my body
they had their way.

I slipped
through the grips
of fierce savages
but I did not escape
their attacks unscratched
burdens and battle wounds
now cover my back.

Still, I wiped my tears
and nurtured my burns
from the wild fire I grew
hard lessons i learned
back then I had faith
but unbelief happenened
and hate became my fate.

like a dog chasing her tale,
since I've known you,
you've been under my spell.

like a child,
time did tell,
I grew to know you very well.

Then one day,
I grew clumsy and fell into your thrill
and you left me codependent and unable to feel.

Memory is gone
Like a chunk of my heart
Feelings are numb
Emotions I shun
Love has wasted
Failures I’ve tasted
Memory is shattered
Deadliest glass
Veil I wear
True self truly masked
Best actress award
Goes to me
Kidnapped life
Stolen identity

I remember wanting you so bad
I could taste you
strawberry kisses
and cotton candy blue
your love was like candy from strangers
I took it, but was not supposed too.

Greedy for pleasure,
thirsty for your touch,
ingredients went away, I began to rush
I was in the kitchen
and the heat I became too much.

And then like bubblegum,
sweet then bitter...
I  popped off...and
blew...........away my chance
at such a delicious romance.

I think it's funny
that you think no one notices you.

I Bet it would make you smile,
to know that I do.

Every morning, day, and afternoon
and that's not it....

I hope to introduce myself to you very soon.

If I had a dad
he would be
Langston Hughes.

Jazz, daughter of
Mr. handsome blues
or Sir mulatto smooth.

heads would turn
as I stroll
the streets
looking pretty
while dancing
with the winds beats.

at sunset we would meet
laugh and retreat
cool us, in the heat.

Rhyming,
Singing,
and tapping our
Happy feets!

I give,
Even when I have not.

I go,
Even when tired
I never stop.

I appear brave,
But I'm afraid alot.

At times I want to end it all
but, I better not.

days have passed without your face
I wonder who will take my place
through my mind you run, a fast pace
my heart is yours if you win this race

lust is the only thing in those streets
I pray for love, I play for keeps
I fell for you, a reckless leap
tell me you want me, don't be discreet!

I look at my graduation picture and your smile looks fake.

I've waited twenty three years for this date.

I know you love me, but why do I see hate?

My whole life all I asked for was sincerity.

The moment came, and you acted like you weren't happy.

I mean ****, you didn't even smile for me!

I am jealous of the sun
because it gets to touch you for fun.

I am jealous of the heat
because your knees, it makes weak.

I am jealous of the breeze
because your body, it gets to tease.

I am jealous of the summer,
because you love her
and I want to be your only lover.

Truth is.....

Since I was a child
a certain image has appeared in my mind
a guilty pleasure
a favorite pastime

Something so bitter yet sweet
a game of trick and treat
a forbidden fruit
I've always wanted to eat

It has never escaped me,
an original sin
that I've masked with many men
in my rainbow colored heart,

........Is where this secret has always been
from the very start.

because I was young
and beautiful
I thought I was
something;

boys lusted
girls admired
I had fun until
I grew tired

a wise old lady
with a smirk on her wrinkled face
pulled me aside
and put me in my place

she told me I was nothing without love
so I got out of her grandson's bed
to avoid tears;
I titled my head

when I came up there it was;
hoovering above
I realized, everything is nothing
until it finds love.

I stood in line
for 23 years
waiting for love
once it was my turn
my palms began to burn.


rolling his eyes, as If I were late
cupid told me I had to wait,
that I would have my chance.
Then he hurried off
doing the ***** dance.

Like love, cupid has sh**ted on me!

LOVE is
priceless.
pennies are worth less
he said believe
have faith
so waters I will test.

a wish
so very close
grant me this favor
I need it the most.
my last penny is worth a try
grant me this feeling
before I die.

LOVE

With your cool sunglasses
And skinny pales *****
You sit behind the shade
Sour faces great for lemonade
And judge us all!

I fake drown to see your reaction
Off your high horse you fall
To my satisfaction, you're not a hero
And, to think people look up to you?
You're not even that tall!!

my sins taunt my sleep
after dark, late nights
my demons love to creep.

the lies I've told
take my breathe away
choke hold!

the things I've stolen
steals my peace
eyes swollen.

karma has awoken
the haunting draft day
and I'm chosen.

depression haunts me at night
I hide under the sheets,
I refuse to fight.

I fight back the tears
of so many dark years
death shall come, but it's life I fear.

running out of precious time
everything and nothing
on my dangerous mind.

prayers go up
Lord send me a sign
trying to keep the faith, before I commit a crime.

I awoke today soaking wet

last night in my dream I drowned

from tears and sweat.

Swimming in life

avoiding the deep end

the waters were ***** too,

I guess from sin.

Thankfully, I found the edge

now I can breathe again.

Drugs impair us
beyond repair
Lowly death
~Vs~ the highs of life
Does not compare
mind likes to travel
Body takes it there
remember this feeling
And for once in forever
Forget to care.

I desire innocently to be a fly on your wall

daddy was a lot of woman typa man

mama was fast
a one night stand

drugs; they had in common
crack was in demand

heard he was crazy, so she ran

I fell from hell

wasn't given no hand

I got up anyway
*and tall I stand

s    q    u   e   e   z  e      it     out    of    me

rrrrruuuuuubbbbb it in to me

puuuuuuuussshh it away from me

puuuulll
           me
                up !

sweating tears
cheater fears
mouth eruption
lies destruction
blood my skin cries
pavement is what I taste
have mercy and
help me up from my face!

I had never felt rejection to your degree
I was charismatic, who could resist me?

you turned away from my tender kisses
though my direct passes never misses

I'm left asking what went wrong
did I come on way too strong?

you were the sweetest most sour person I've ever known....

regret drowns me at night
doubts dance with fright
my bark is loud but not my bite
I try to run, flight or fight!

I may give up,
I just might
adulthood? I don't see the hype
especially when darkness outshines the light.

woman was not made to be alone
on her own faking to be strong.

woman was not made to *******
such a thing as ******* requires a mate.

woman was not made to cry in solitude
for comfort on his shoulder is true soul food.

woman was not made for this world
for men prey on and devour innocent little girls.

At lust's feet
I have fallen

hormones need help
your body it's calling

I've waited too long
so now you're stalling

but hear my plea
come rescue thee

teach me my lesson
come punish me

I gave you my body like a ***
I gave you answers you desired to know
you only gave insecurities,
making me feel guilty and low.

I begged for our love
admitting my issues with co-dependence
but you laughed at me,
mocked my innocence.

For that I hate you.
I regret you, you *****.
yet you're still that addiction
I have yet to kick.

But know this....

You,
me,
and this feeling,
will be the last scratch
I will allow to itch.

send tingles down my spine
can I call you mine?
kiss my skin
can I let you in?

caress my curves
ease my nerves
make me moan
such a beautiful tone

tickle my secrets
their yours, will you keep it?
it's been too long since I felt this sensation
park your body in my remote location.

I once had a friend
whom I loved deeply
I would hide from others
but I'd let him see me.....

but something went wrong
he quit singing me precious songs
he never visits anymore
I always break hearts!
*I should have warned him of this before...

my lovers left me
down and out
gave me something
to think about.
Like......
how it's not them,
but could it be me?
commitment is dangerous
and relationships are scary!

I wanted you
and hoped you wanted me too.

late nights imagining things I could do
to make you say hmmm, or maybe ooh

there was an inferno between my thighs
my volcano erupted into lava cries

when it was all over

I slept in that puddle of
rejection and ash

hoping this lonely hell
would not forever last.

A dozen black roses
Eleven ex lovers
Ten tears
Nine lost years
Eight personal fears
Seven deadly sins
I've commited six.

If only I had one wish!

Five secrets I swore to never tell
I’ve repented four of them
Too afraid to go to hell
Three is for the trinity
Always fighting two sides of me
atlas, one lonely heart

God should have warned me
life would be hell from the very start.

Killing                                                    softly
                                  you

  We will always           be unfinished business

  You will always          be one of my wishes

     I will always      seek your forgiveness

         For not giving you all my heart

                  even after vowing

                       until death
      
                          do us
                      
                           part

In the land of love
I will be your angel
and you could be my dove....

In another lifetime
I could be yours and
you would be mine....

If Earth became Heaven
we would get married
woman and man....

*Too bad it does not exist,
only lust and temptation
that I sometimes find hard to resist....

to be odd
even among the
outsiders
is just lonley.
to be mysterious
even to oneself
is to feel lost.
to give advice but never
knowing how to help
myself is hypocrisy.
it's a strange life
one might say.
it's the role
I was given
so this character
I shall play.

Life is a indescribable genre
like fiction which is full of lies
Or nonfiction which is true
As a poet, I understand this too
Still my eloquent heart refuses
To write about any topic
Other than you...

it's not easy being me.
filled with anxiety.

it's not fun being me.
forever lonely.

it's not pretty being me.
especially the person I see.

it's not easy,
but it's my responsibility.

woman: I'm tired

man: of what?

woman: loving you.

monster in her eyes
melody in her cries
magic in her fears
madness in her ears
mute in her lips
music in her hips
man in her bed
mistakes is what she dreads

we always argue about the same things
you think I'm confused
I think you're deranged.

we always talk about the same stuff
how you're dominant
and want me to be softer, although I was born tough.

why can't we just get along?
I write poetry
and you like songs.