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"whacked" poems
"I can’t figure it out.” She said. “I like cigars, and pretty dresses and crossing my legs.” She paused, then continued, “And I like smoking cigars in pretty dresses while crossing my legs.” She uncrossed them, then crossed them again. One smooth limb over the other. Just like that. “But I never seem to have a lighter on hand. Could you— sir, please light my cigar?” “You see, I have no pockets to hold such things and my purse… Well, You’ve confiscated that, haven’t you?” “Thanks.” She breathed, and inhaled, and exhaled; Sluggish wisps of smoke dissipating into the air. Just. like .that. “I didn’t know L'homme was into women who smoke cigars in pretty dresses while crossing their legs", She said. “I mean, how was I to know? I only noticed him noticing me. It was probably the way my hair was tousled like so, Or how my lipstick shone a deep, dangerous rogue, Or the way I sipped at my champagne… That made him walk over.” “But I never asked him to light my cigar Or comment on my dress… Or stroke my legs. So when I whacked him up top over the head with my glass, I bet he never expected it to shatter and split his skull like so. He dropped so sudden, sir. I…” Another ringlet of smoke, a sigh, an uncrossing and crossing of legs again. “I had no clue, what else to do, But to sit still in my pretty dress, with my legs crossed, smoking my cigar trying to figure out... Just how I'd committed ******
0
Nov 12, 2018
Nov 12, 2018 at 5:10 PM UTC
"She Loved her Cigars, a Pretty Dress, and Crossing her Legs". A tribute to a Femme Fatale.
We enter the church and immediately have to push through two dozen sobbing Italian women dabbing dry eyes; their tissues only show black and multi-colored smears. Amid the echoing “Oh my Goawd”s, they lean down and kiss my sister’s cheeks, but even in my best black cap sleeves, I am the taboo to my cousin Janet, a woman as barren as the stone lot in between her husband’s restaurant and Deihl’s Autoshop. We find an empty pew, and watch as the men stride down the aisle, contestants in a cultural Miss America pageant where the wrong answer gets you whacked. Their heavy brows sink in condolence as they hand over stacks of bills, every hundred becoming a pity penny for all the moments Janet lost in her luxury-life made shiny by diamonds and cars and fur coats which can’t be cashed in for a second chance at a family. The men have paid for the food, the china, the band in the corner meant to fill the space of sadness— a reminder that we live a lavish life. My sister shifts in her seat and as a man walks by she touches his jacket, and gasps. He’s a god.
0
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 9:30 PM UTC
The Funeral for My Cousin's Husband
She don't like her eggs all runny she thinks crossin' her legs is funny she looks down her nose at money She gets it on like the Easter bunny she's my baby I'm her honey Never Gonna Let Her Go He ain't got laid in a Month of Sundays I caught him once and he was sniffin' my ****** he ain't too sharp but he gets things done drinks beer like it's oxygen and he's my baby I'm his honey Never gonna let him go In Spite of Ourselves we'll end up sitting on a rainbow Against All Odds honey were the big door prize We're going to spite our noses right off of our faces there won't be nothin' but a big ol'  Hearts dancin' in our eyes she thinks all my jokes are corny convict movies make her ***** she likes ketchup with her scrambled eggs swears like a sailor when she shaves her legs she takes a lickin' she keeps on tickin' I'm never going to let her go He's got more ***** than A Big Brass Monkey he's a whacked-out ****** and a love bug ****** Sly as a fox crazy as a loon when payday comes he's howlin' at the moon he is my baby and I don't mean maybe I'm never going to let him go In Spite of Ourselves we'll end up sittin' on a rainbow Against All Odds honey were the big door prize we're going to spite our noses right off of our faces there won't be nothing but big ol' Hearts dancin' in our eyes In Spite of Ourselves Written by John Prime Cherie Nolan- A favorite wedding tune
0
Aug 27, 2016
Aug 27, 2016 at 9:35 PM UTC
"In Spite of Ourselves" - lyrics by John Prine
I was in trouble And oh boy did I know it I came home drunk last night the hangover showed it As I crawled out of bed, headache splitting my eyes I saw my wife with that "I love you but I'm going to **** you" vibe, but she held it in and on her face a look of concern was her guise I hurled for about an hour then my stomach settled down I looked for my wife but she was nowhere to be found I drank some water, and soon after hit the floor before I slipped into unconsciousness I saw my wife come through the door I woke up, and took in my surroundings I was in a dark , medium sized room caged in, and the floor was concrete.. And in walked my wife, with a crop and a corset on that hourglass body, she looked ready for a pounding I wondered.. what the hell was going on? how did she know I wanted to try this... when did I let it on? She walked into the room, I was tied to the bed, but before whacking me, she surveyed me instead She walked slowly around me My eyes drinking in her features, She whacked me in my chest and said Look here boy, I'm going to tease you She slid the corset down, showing one ****** off, I was now hard where I once was soft She licked herself slowly Me getting aroused all the more I knew my wife was the experimental type but even she didn't know what was in store She slid those ******* down My God she was so wet She slid her finger inside and said "Nope, you can't have this yet" I shook with anticipation. Pleading with her through my eyes She remained adamant and continued weaving an arousing web, all truth here, I can't tell any lies. She slid my pants off my legs And threw them to the floor She got on top of me and yelled today you're my personal manwhore! with that I found myself inside, bouncing on my cxck I had never seen her this aggressive it came off as quite a shock After an hour and hundreds of welts later it Appeared she was done with me that's when she layed next to me and whispered "Happy Anniversary"!
0
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 9:21 PM UTC
My Memory Is Horrible **** Sunday)
I was in trouble And oh boy did I know it I came home drunk last night the hangover showed it As I crawled out of bed, headache splitting my eyes I saw my wife with that "I love you but I'm going to **** you" vibe, but she held it in and on her face a look of concern was her guise I hurled for about an hour then my stomach settled down I looked for my wife but she was nowhere to be found I drank some water, and soon after hit the floor before I slipped into unconsciousness I saw my wife come through the door I woke up, and took in my surroundings I was in a dark , medium sized room caged in, and the floor was concrete.. And in walked my wife, with a crop and a corset on that hourglass body, she looked ready for a pounding I wondered.. what the hell was going on? how did she know I wanted to try this... when did I let it on? She walked into the room, I was tied to the bed, but before whacking me, she surveyed me instead She walked slowly around me My eyes drinking in her features, She whacked me in my chest and said Look here boy, I'm going to tease you She slid the corset down, showing one ****** off, I was now hard where I once was soft She licked herself slowly Me getting aroused all the more I knew my wife was the experimental type but even she didn't know what was in store She slid those ******* down My God she was so wet She slid her finger inside and said "Nope, you can't have this yet" I shook with anticipation. Pleading with her through my eyes She remained adamant and continued weaving an arousing web, all truth here, I can't tell any lies. She slid my pants off my legs And threw them to the floor She got on top of me and yelled today you're my personal manwhore! with that I found myself inside, bouncing on my cxck I had never seen her this aggressive it came off as quite a shock After an hour and hundreds of welts later it Appeared she was done with me that's when she layed next to me and whispered "Happy Anniversary"!
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51
In this fRaGmEnTeD cage,I hear checkpoint moans; anticipating our prone-positioned brothers and sisters held Prone positions against walls Prone positions against fences Prone positions against vehicles Prone positions against buildings Prone positions against prone positions Slam-whacked, bloodied, occupied like our great nation; like our souls I remember a prophet's call, " love your neighbor as yourself " I hear Palestine weeping from Jenin to Hebron, from Jerico to Gaza seized I hear lamentations about blood tales I see only FrAgMeNtS of our land I see FrAgMeNtS of our proud people Lo and behold my Palestine quakes as an earth quake Doves scatter skyward as a prophetic omen Blue skies and Sun momentarily claim victory Then inhumanity's ugly face: America to its Indians, America to its blacks, America to women, America to its gays, America to Mexicans, America to South and Central America, America once to Southeast Asia, America to Islam, America with its war crimes, America and Israel both innocence died So, we pray Koran's verses upon our prayer rugs We gesture all hope The apartheid surrounds us The dead talk to us The smoke surrounds us Perhaps better days we say Entwined with bizarre everydayness we accept sleep with fits Fits without food; Fits without crucial welfare Roads, shelters, mock us sculptured by missiles and bulldozers Bully-bombs exploding in a reign of terror We pray upon our prayer rugs Bully-bombs exploding in a reign terror And oooh how those awful missile FrAgMeNtS fly and Muhammad cries with anguished tears, in this writtened legacy...in written legacy
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Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 5:21 AM UTC
FrAgMeNtS of a People
In this fRaGmEnTeD cage,I hear checkpoint moans; anticipating our prone-positioned brothers and sisters held Prone positions against walls Prone positions against fences Prone positions against vehicles Prone positions against buildings Prone positions against prone positions Slam-whacked, bloodied, occupied like our great nation; like our souls I remember a prophet's call, " love your neighbor as yourself " I hear Palestine weeping from Jenin to Hebron, from Jerico to Gaza seized I hear lamentations about blood tales I see only FrAgMeNtS of our land I see FrAgMeNtS of our proud people Lo and behold my Palestine quakes as an earth quake Doves scatter skyward as a prophetic omen Blue skies and Sun momentarily claim victory Then inhumanity's ugly face: America to its Indians, America to its blacks, America to women, America to its gays, America to Mexicans, America to South and Central America, America once to Southeast Asia, America to Islam, America with its war crimes, America and Israel both innocence died So, we pray Koran's verses upon our prayer rugs We gesture all hope The apartheid surrounds us The dead talk to us The smoke surrounds us Perhaps better days we say Entwined with bizarre everydayness we accept sleep with fits Fits without food; Fits without crucial welfare Roads, shelters, mock us sculptured by missiles and bulldozers Bully-bombs exploding in a reign of terror We pray upon our prayer rugs Bully-bombs exploding in a reign terror And oooh how those awful missile FrAgMeNtS fly and Muhammad cries with anguished tears, in this writtened legacy...in written legacy
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46
those sounds you make with air and your voice box, they're all made for me. the words...that's what you call them. when you pen down these words for me, you're knitting my clothes: black thread embroidered on white. always the same always so different. that's how everyone gets to know me: with your name, (always) the right fit like a shoe that goes with every dress I am the soul of all your creations that part of your soul that resides in white I am all that energy that has bled from you I am your soul - your soul is in me I dwell in the blood that sweats through your pores. I am the thrum of havoc in your veins. I am the reason your heart beats. it beats to my name. you're mine. you will never forget me. I am your arrogance I am the reason butterflies flutter I am truth, I am redemption I am lies and smiles and that story you ache to write... I am alive in the human touch that keeps you hurting healing bleeding tumbling in pain agony hate through the impossibilities of your humanity. I give you strength warmth courage tolerance to go on, to keep on living and to keep me alive... I draw life from that weird goofy and frankly whacked out part of your mind that thinks I can talk to you like at this very moment...
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Jun 8, 2014
Jun 8, 2014 at 12:39 PM UTC
if poetry could talk to me...
I was walking my big Ridgeback Mr. Brown across the Starbucks parking lot when this little white poodle started yapping from the rolled-down window of a brand new Mercedes. Mr. Brown responded like shot from guns and before I knew it he was scratching at the Mercedes door eager to make friends with the poodle. Then the Mercedes owner came running out of Starbucks spilling latte all over his substantial stomach What the **** Look at those ******* scratches! Do you know how much it costs to fix a car like this? I’m suing you and your big ******* dog ! Not wise, sir, I responded… to be so aggressive with someone you don’t even know and who has a 110-lb. African Lionhound on the end of his leash. I might be a whacked-out Vietnam veteran with a hairtrigger temper or a gang member or maybe I'm just a senior citizen with an extremely protective service dog. Well, he said, his belly shaking, look at my **** car. I am looking at it I said and handed him the keys to my ’68 Shelby Cobra parked and shiny right nearby. Take mine, I said it’s more fun to drive.
0
Aug 29, 2013
Aug 29, 2013 at 5:56 AM UTC
A GENEROUS MAN
I whacked Rudolph, that showoff with the bright nose Wakin' me up all night on Christmas Eve Santa had to cut him off the lead pack Just to make his rounds on Christmas Eve I know a lot of eve's and some get naked But, I got drunk somehow after shopping and banking Now I don't need no how on keep waking up wasted I shot him in his brain and sliced his neck I wacked Rudolph, that showoff with the bright nose Wakin' me up all night on Christmas Eve Santa had to cut him off the lead pack Just to make his rounds on Christmas Eve Now it's Christmas Day, I have him here He's hung in my backyard. Oh, what a deer! Today's a holiday. We'll serve what's near. And Rudolph's venison will bring on cheer I whacked Rudolph, that showoff with the bright nose Wakin' me up all night on Christmas Eve Santa had to cut him off the lead pack Just to make his rounds on Christmas Eve I'm slicing jerkey I'm slicing meat I'm cutting steaks I'm slicing lean I cut his brains out Threw them away His guts and his ***** Have been turned into hay I whacked Rudolph, that showoff with the bright nose Wakin' me up all night on Christmas Eve Santa had to cut him off the lead pack Just to make his rounds on Christmas Eve
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Dec 12, 2015
Dec 12, 2015 at 1:57 PM UTC
Rudolph's Venison
prey tracked relentlessly pursued mass of zebra whacked pulverized to the ground powerful jaws of lion employed in the gruesome **** throat of prey exposed oozing scarlet **** lion consumes a bloating portion for himself deference shown to lion an uninvited hyena joins in snarls and snappy retorts go between the two hyena knows the borders at nature's table with lion king both delight in the zebra's ample flesh and its sweet warm entrails they savor every morsel above in stark glared filled skies anticipating crows circle frenzy intense hungering craw needing needing squawking to announce arrival descending in unison blanketing the zebra's carcass beaks tearing the meager scraps from the bones welcome sustenance at natures all too sparse table each creature know its place crow has a place reserved scavenger on the rim
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Oct 13, 2013
Oct 13, 2013 at 9:16 PM UTC
Scavenger On The Rim
It was late into the night When Bert Ernie and I Were traveling across the plans of Nebraska Much to my surprise Bert looks me straight in the eyes And says Mike, I gotta question to ask ya With Big Bird wrapped up in the trunk You'd think that he'd already thunk About this night long before it already happened When we took Oscar the Grouches can lid And whacked Big Bird smack dab in the head Then tied him up tight while he was napping We rolled him out to curb Believe me it looked quite absurd Ernie grunting with Bert complaining as feathers went flying But as would be our fate Able to make our planed escape When Count Von Count took time out to do some feather counting So this is now where we are Bert, Ernie, Me, and Big Bird in the trunk of our car Not really knowing where it is we are heading Our thinking went only as far As nabbing Big Bird and the get away car Putting Ernie in charge wasn't such a good idea is what I am betting Ernie says he's figured it all out Bert says we need this, but still has his doubts Cause Bert owes back pay alimony and Ernie his ****** We head to Ernie's planed drop off spot And of course it's swarming with cops While our inside man " The Monster " gave us up for Cookies They let Big Bird out of the trunk Who proceeded to slap us punch drunk Then straight to the judge to pay for this hideous crime I can't think of any worse fate I now know this was a fatal mistake The sentence... Banished to Sesame Street for life, now that is hard time
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Mar 14, 2013
Mar 14, 2013 at 7:41 PM UTC
The Kidnapping Of " Big Bird "
It was late into the night When Bert Ernie and I Were traveling across the plans of Nebraska Much to my surprise Bert looks me straight in the eyes And says Mike, I gotta question to ask ya With Big Bird wrapped up in the trunk You'd think that he'd already thunk About this night long before it already happened When we took Oscar the Grouches can lid And whacked Big Bird smack dab in the head Then tied him up tight while he was napping We rolled him out to curb Believe me it looked quite absurd Ernie grunting with Bert complaining as feathers went flying But as would be our fate Able to make our planed escape When Count Von Count took time out to do some feather counting So this is now where we are Bert, Ernie, Me, and Big Bird in the trunk of our car Not really knowing where it is we are heading Our thinking went only as far As nabbing Big Bird and the get away car Putting Ernie in charge wasn't such a good idea is what I am betting Ernie says he's figured it all out Bert says we need this, but still has his doubts Cause Bert owes back pay alimony and Ernie his ****** We head to Ernie's planed drop off spot And of course it's swarming with cops While our inside man " The Monster " gave us up for Cookies They let Big Bird out of the trunk Who proceeded to slap us punch drunk Then straight to the judge to pay for this hideous crime I can't think of any worse fate I now know this was a fatal mistake The sentence... Banished to Sesame Street for life, now that is hard time
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37
7:30PM, October 9, 2015, 65*F, 10mph breeze, 5% humidity (somehow 10% where I was sitting), 50.0001% chance of rain, dark, cold, late, loud...I think that's enough. Alright! Spoiler alert, Birkston High won the game. If you simply have ears you've known that for a while (many of us who were at the game don't). All the people in Grenfolkshire were there, so there were some empty bleachers, but the Student section was full and lively, and did I say loud, because LOUD....! My ears were ringing (at a B8 note, for the musically overcurious people) for three days straight. I think it was a healthcare tactic, dare I say it. All those figurehead townspeople were there as well, like Mayor Arnofold Plattersbury with his orange jumpsuit, waving a pompom in the air like he just didn't care. Really, he didn't-I got whacked in the head with it eleven times. Recently, after taking a recent poll on the recent event, it was found that only about 35% of people really knew what happened, a number that has declined, recently. This very well is contributed to 1.) most of the people are there for the free food and don't exactly major in football 2.) teenagers are highly social creatures 3.) a bunch of hands in the air and six foot tall mammoths standing on the bleachers will tend to block the view of the people who are five foot small. The freshmen had a real problem on their heads. Nevertheless, the Wildcats found themselves with the bell for another year, whether they knew it or not. The Panthers found themselves nose-in-the-dirt, tail-dragging, while we found ourselves filing out like a herd of wild penguins onto the field.
0
Oct 17, 2015
Oct 17, 2015 at 10:34 PM UTC
The Battle for the Taco Bell
7:30PM, October 9, 2015, 65*F, 10mph breeze, 5% humidity (somehow 10% where I was sitting), 50.0001% chance of rain, dark, cold, late, loud...I think that's enough. Alright! Spoiler alert, Birkston High won the game. If you simply have ears you've known that for a while (many of us who were at the game don't). All the people in Grenfolkshire were there, so there were some empty bleachers, but the Student section was full and lively, and did I say loud, because LOUD....! My ears were ringing (at a B8 note, for the musically overcurious people) for three days straight. I think it was a healthcare tactic, dare I say it. All those figurehead townspeople were there as well, like Mayor Arnofold Plattersbury with his orange jumpsuit, waving a pompom in the air like he just didn't care. Really, he didn't-I got whacked in the head with it eleven times. Recently, after taking a recent poll on the recent event, it was found that only about 35% of people really knew what happened, a number that has declined, recently. This very well is contributed to 1.) most of the people are there for the free food and don't exactly major in football 2.) teenagers are highly social creatures 3.) a bunch of hands in the air and six foot tall mammoths standing on the bleachers will tend to block the view of the people who are five foot small. The freshmen had a real problem on their heads. Nevertheless, the Wildcats found themselves with the bell for another year, whether they knew it or not. The Panthers found themselves nose-in-the-dirt, tail-dragging, while we found ourselves filing out like a herd of wild penguins onto the field.
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1
When the salt chuck was mine I promised to dance as the ocean waves on the smiles you grant For the sea I was a trap of destiny To the sand I was too slippery to stamp I embraced the wind bearing the taste of brine I rendered a pledge from your bright eyes into the sea’s chant Every edge of this tedious isle You were the unending aria At dawn, you would passionately rip the queen conch The hush of the gale would turn into wail The sun would set as the shore would reflect Your voice a ditty, a glassy reverie When the hurricane arrived You were carried away by fright A zephyr into a whirlwind Drawing abyssal rumpus into ordeal I tried to hold your hand tight But you whispered “this is what it’s supposed to be” You carved the salt into your skin- a sight of crystalline art And breathed “i found a better shore than your stormy coast” It was only a sojourn you said So you left my briny, dull and murky The salt chuck was a wreck The queen conch was whacked
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Jun 7, 2016
Jun 7, 2016 at 11:28 PM UTC
Seashore
you cannot wish love into existence (or how it came to be) came and was asked, make us a star. smiled and whispered to the mother night belly black and and their star, unequivocal was given came and was asked, for a cooling fooling breeze. smiled and whispered to the clouds, rush past us faster and shed us thy ease and so refreshed, gave up hands high grace salutes came and was asked, why be alone, whisper for her to love you smiled and whispered this I cannot nor would I want to do came and was asked, why be alone, whisper for you to love her smiled and whispered this I cannot nor would I want to do whisper what you will but love is a wondering and a wonderment eternal a perpetuity of never knowing, perfect surety is not love it is a why without an answer, a question's question imperfection why you love today, maybe a continent different why you used to, or first to, and tomorrow's raison d'être as yet undreamt, unrealized, you can whisper many things into being, but beings in love are motions special, and entitled to a category special admixture of reason and lust, hunger and thirst, needy to be needed needy to be giving, the balance whacked, constant change its formulae called vagaries, chemical imbalances, e-motions should I whisper, call out for love, making it so, there would be no why, without the why, what worth this be so when you do whisper I love you, admit it is a question and an answer simultaneous, it is a whisper of certain uncertainty
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Jun 4, 2014
Jun 4, 2014 at 11:11 PM UTC
you cannot wish love into existence (or how it came to be)
Santa came down the chimmney I whacked him with my uzzi Santa dropped his sack It was filled with crack - Now Santa he's in rehab Grateful he's not dead Sitting there waiting For detox To Clear his head.
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Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 8:44 PM UTC
A little bit of weirdness
(Inspired by Kendrick Lamar – humble ) Whacked or weepiness? Sing if you know this, Well~ yuh, yuh. Hey, I recall when every months with zero-balance-curse, Therefore I lived my life with what I fit, but today I’m so ****** When everyone gets what their want; In fact, I never wish, I choose drink mix while you choose Crème de cassis to rid live’s blemish, "Son, the richest man never get outta debt hub, Duh, compare to you with just one luckless credit card?" So let’s be rich with heart and do something bigger than Tesla, Do read on my blog, then write it down or by heart at least, Zero-to-the-hero, hero-to-the-pro punk, a person who used to be dumb, dumped in the **** junk, now 6 figures in the bank, I'm still like yesterday’s punk, If you got this in the bank, promise to be like an old punk, my life’s better than my virile, my future promise me how I rolled, Hey Mount. E, wait for me to reach your highest spot, but I’m just play cool to it, cuz you know Beast’s humble, Sweet lown, Be hierodule, throw your crown. Who talk money over passion won't be richman, The dream you ever sketched, belongs to trash can, The dream you never twig, just a goodnight, Just do for what you love for your loved wife, Just what you said you do it to get a better job, Say something to me you'll be iron man like louis cyr or, Say something like you are immune from all snide remarks, Everyday you and I should celebrate the 'go for broke day', I'll 'Die trying till get there', Pave the way for success stair, everything's gonna be okay, God not just hear from your prayer, He bestow for what you care, So stay calm and feel the air, Dont called it work - called it play, And say "Never say ne'er", Hardwork means modest, stay low profile, and rich heart way, Mamma said dream big, protect it from apart, stay, Be like the strongest humblest person in the world, OK? I'm the strongest orphan after all, boom! beast's humble, -- -- Sweet Lown, Snob's crumble, Don't drown.
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Jan 22, 2018
Jan 22, 2018 at 9:58 AM UTC
Beast's humble, Sweet Lown (Humble's Poem Full Version)
(Inspired by Kendrick Lamar – humble ) Whacked or weepiness? Sing if you know this, Well~ yuh, yuh. Hey, I recall when every months with zero-balance-curse, Therefore I lived my life with what I fit, but today I’m so ****** When everyone gets what their want; In fact, I never wish, I choose drink mix while you choose Crème de cassis to rid live’s blemish, "Son, the richest man never get outta debt hub, Duh, compare to you with just one luckless credit card?" So let’s be rich with heart and do something bigger than Tesla, Do read on my blog, then write it down or by heart at least, Zero-to-the-hero, hero-to-the-pro punk, a person who used to be dumb, dumped in the **** junk, now 6 figures in the bank, I'm still like yesterday’s punk, If you got this in the bank, promise to be like an old punk, my life’s better than my virile, my future promise me how I rolled, Hey Mount. E, wait for me to reach your highest spot, but I’m just play cool to it, cuz you know Beast’s humble, Sweet lown, Be hierodule, throw your crown. Who talk money over passion won't be richman, The dream you ever sketched, belongs to trash can, The dream you never twig, just a goodnight, Just do for what you love for your loved wife, Just what you said you do it to get a better job, Say something to me you'll be iron man like louis cyr or, Say something like you are immune from all snide remarks, Everyday you and I should celebrate the 'go for broke day', I'll 'Die trying till get there', Pave the way for success stair, everything's gonna be okay, God not just hear from your prayer, He bestow for what you care, So stay calm and feel the air, Dont called it work - called it play, And say "Never say ne'er", Hardwork means modest, stay low profile, and rich heart way, Mamma said dream big, protect it from apart, stay, Be like the strongest humblest person in the world, OK? I'm the strongest orphan after all, boom! beast's humble, -- -- Sweet Lown, Snob's crumble, Don't drown.
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47
Niblicks What do I know about golf? Well, let me see. I know there's a club and I think there you get tee There's a hole with a pole Though not from Poland, it could be. That's commerce There's something worse and that's a bunker where apparently golfers hunker down with a frown on their face, 'til they get out of that place. There's a five on the fifth and a three on the first I've read the rules and I'm fit to burst with a thirst for the game But then I read of their ***** and call me a **** don't think that I need my ***** to be whacked. So it's back to the cluedo and ludo and do you know I'm not sorry at all.
0
Apr 6, 2013
Apr 6, 2013 at 1:55 PM UTC
Niblicks
We called our maths master *** happy Chappie,  Mr Chapman stank to high heaven like an ash tray and smoked like a chimney even while taking class. We called the English teacher Jesus because he was young, bearded and wore a white suit. One of the lads flicked ink all down his back one day without him noticing as he walked up and down between the desks. Another English teacher took it on himself to teach *** education. He advised us not to ********** the night before an exam. He doubled up as a career adviser and told everyone to go into banking or insurance. The history master liked to nod off in lessons when he was supposed to be teaching us and we had to stay completely silent. If anyone made a noise he would yell at us, and he would sometimes hit us with a tennis shoe with a golf ball jammed in it.  He wrote Stoke City for the cup in chalk mirror writing on the sole so that it would come out on our backsides when he whacked us. The first headmaster was nice, we liked him, he was human. But then *** took over. He tightened up the rules about school uniform, no coloured shirts, things like that, but wore luminous green socks himself, the silly ******* He gave me the slipper for sciving off an afternoon once, I hated him. I think if I'd had a gun I might have shot him.  Someone said they think he's dead now, and I thought good, I hope he died in agony ha ha. Then there was Mr Eaton, another English master. He was one of those truly inspiring teachers whose enthusiasm for his subject was infectious. On the day he introduced us to Chaucer's  'The Prologue '  he gave us the text and proceeded to recite from memory the whole thing.  I never forgot that.   It was a mixed experience, Grammar School in the 1970's.
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Jan 23, 2016
Jan 23, 2016 at 10:45 PM UTC
Ashford Grammar School
We called our maths master *** happy Chappie,  Mr Chapman stank to high heaven like an ash tray and smoked like a chimney even while taking class. We called the English teacher Jesus because he was young, bearded and wore a white suit. One of the lads flicked ink all down his back one day without him noticing as he walked up and down between the desks. Another English teacher took it on himself to teach *** education. He advised us not to ********** the night before an exam. He doubled up as a career adviser and told everyone to go into banking or insurance. The history master liked to nod off in lessons when he was supposed to be teaching us and we had to stay completely silent. If anyone made a noise he would yell at us, and he would sometimes hit us with a tennis shoe with a golf ball jammed in it.  He wrote Stoke City for the cup in chalk mirror writing on the sole so that it would come out on our backsides when he whacked us. The first headmaster was nice, we liked him, he was human. But then *** took over. He tightened up the rules about school uniform, no coloured shirts, things like that, but wore luminous green socks himself, the silly ******* He gave me the slipper for sciving off an afternoon once, I hated him. I think if I'd had a gun I might have shot him.  Someone said they think he's dead now, and I thought good, I hope he died in agony ha ha. Then there was Mr Eaton, another English master. He was one of those truly inspiring teachers whose enthusiasm for his subject was infectious. On the day he introduced us to Chaucer's  'The Prologue '  he gave us the text and proceeded to recite from memory the whole thing.  I never forgot that.   It was a mixed experience, Grammar School in the 1970's.
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8
So I'm drinking the red wine I had those cut-up peaches Soaking, fermenting in for 3 days. A nice summer evening buzz, Just back from my evening walk Within the gates of my over-55 Lunatic Asylum. On my rear porch in Hemetucky, I chaise lounge the hours, Listening to the mourning dove Nesting in the bottlebrush bush. I know she's there, having Fired thru my duck blind, My latest weapon of choice, My new-fangled Flex Hose, It expands when turned on. Which got me thinking that the Flex Hose inventor guy must have Whacked off a lot as a teenager. An Alex Portnoy protege, perhaps, If familiar with Roth's book. Portnoy's Complaint: Most of us read it; Some of us lived it. It is pointless to speculate. 12 ft. Flexible Water Hose with Nozzle-flxh-25 (4-00268...Home Depot www.homedepot.com/p/12-ft-Flexible... Hose-with.../204818892/The Home Depot Rating: 1.8 - ‎14 reviews - ‎$19.97 - ‎In stock "The Flexible hose automatically expands with water flow and contracts back to its original shape for storage. Lightweight and durable. The Flexible Hose will ..." (That's right, a commercial right in the Middle of the ******* poem. This Poet refusing to die in the gutter, Having finally figured out how to MAKE POETRY PAY.) But I digress.
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Aug 14, 2016
Aug 14, 2016 at 2:16 AM UTC
"Sangria Evening"
The Rubber Bunny flew through the air The Rubber Bunny gave me a scare So I punched it in the face It turned around and sprayed me with mace I lay on the ground quivering with pain The Rubber Bunny must be insane I got up and ran And Man oh Man! That rabbit ran as fast as he can The rabbit got tired and that slowed his run I was about to grab him when he pulled out a gun I got the gun out of his hand and my hand on his neck He pulled a knife, I said 'what the heck!' That rabbit was armed And I was alarmed He ran back to his hole in the ground I was mugged I found I didn't have my wallet And when I looked inside his home, I saw it I reached down into the ground It was my wallet that I found All of the sudden a sharpening pain From the teeth of that rabbit so insane I pulled my hand out with the rabbit too I tried to think what to do Once again I whacked him in the face This time he did not turn with mace, But with a grenade Before I could stop him he yelled ?raid!? Millions of bunnies came into sight, I thought to use all my might But they had overwhelming power I thought I’d be dead within the hour Grenades, mace, guns, knives These bunnies will destroy many lives Before I reached the edge of pain, I realized why they were so insane It turned out to be something funny All they wanted was my money The bunnies were about to attack I had a stick and I gave it a whack Blood squirted and I heard a scream I thought I wiped out the entire team But just when I thought I won the war There was another, and more, and more At about that time I had lost a thumb A finger or two, or maybe some I saw a rabbit go by with my toe I think it was the rubber bunny but I’ll never know And then with his teeth he pulled it apart And all of the sudden he struck for my heart At about that time the police showed And now on my chest a stitch is sewed And now I warn you to look out He’s still in America without a doubt.
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May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 6:46 AM UTC
The Rubber Bunny
The Rubber Bunny flew through the air The Rubber Bunny gave me a scare So I punched it in the face It turned around and sprayed me with mace I lay on the ground quivering with pain The Rubber Bunny must be insane I got up and ran And Man oh Man! That rabbit ran as fast as he can The rabbit got tired and that slowed his run I was about to grab him when he pulled out a gun I got the gun out of his hand and my hand on his neck He pulled a knife, I said 'what the heck!' That rabbit was armed And I was alarmed He ran back to his hole in the ground I was mugged I found I didn't have my wallet And when I looked inside his home, I saw it I reached down into the ground It was my wallet that I found All of the sudden a sharpening pain From the teeth of that rabbit so insane I pulled my hand out with the rabbit too I tried to think what to do Once again I whacked him in the face This time he did not turn with mace, But with a grenade Before I could stop him he yelled ?raid!? Millions of bunnies came into sight, I thought to use all my might But they had overwhelming power I thought I’d be dead within the hour Grenades, mace, guns, knives These bunnies will destroy many lives Before I reached the edge of pain, I realized why they were so insane It turned out to be something funny All they wanted was my money The bunnies were about to attack I had a stick and I gave it a whack Blood squirted and I heard a scream I thought I wiped out the entire team But just when I thought I won the war There was another, and more, and more At about that time I had lost a thumb A finger or two, or maybe some I saw a rabbit go by with my toe I think it was the rubber bunny but I’ll never know And then with his teeth he pulled it apart And all of the sudden he struck for my heart At about that time the police showed And now on my chest a stitch is sewed And now I warn you to look out He’s still in America without a doubt.
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55
Way out in its own oasis Its very own brand of homeostasis Passed the jarred ideas and whacked out mazes Is a spot Full of unknown faces Hailing from unknown places Look at it, fall out with out protracted traces Vacant lot Then let's settle the score What is your original face before your mom and dad were born? Why not start over with a clean slate, as the smell of new dawns pervade I forgot to eat Maybe if you gave the derelict half a chance And looked at things from the ambivert's stance People wouldn't notice your ego's protuberance Upstaged by an under study Pull the button, turn the lever, push the switch and flip the **** Predicate the incendiary infraction Reductio ad absurdum Lip service provides scrutiny We've been normalized, what the recipe for ice? We're full of emptiness, nothing exists No-thing, not a thing does not exist Life is deathless I'm looking for multifaceted individuals To fix something that's irreparable   An eerie parable, something terrible My future's told by flash cards I put my head between my knees Just wipe my memory Leave me at the bottom of the sea Leave my dignity to discard When two separate divisions are over lapping What's the sound of one hand clapping? Comparing then and now every now and then Again, never will I say"never again" -Tommy Johnson
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Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 3:20 AM UTC
The Last Dandelion-Eyelash Wish
Here comes this serial killer looking creep Thinking he's here for just a little peep He just a little whacked out manic Energy spurts come in an inconsistent panic But I promise I'm an all right dude Even though I act a little rude, but crude I'm the leader who takes apart machines Been my own man since I was fourteen He's the maniac creator Makes all the world his theater In his head lives every world Swirling around in a surrealist twirl He's a trash picking racoon Looking like a tin foil hat loon Now here I go making another promise I'm a monstrosity Frankenstein colossus I build dreams out of your waste Assembling beauty with a fever pitch haste Don't ever doubt what I say Even if it sounds preposterous and risque I make some of the weirdest things Meant to illicit grins from my deepest sins
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Mar 27, 2022
Mar 27, 2022 at 9:01 PM UTC
Bad rap
Now Smithy was as angry as poo He said Mickey, "Oi, Listen, must you! Come here for a meeting It'll be only fleeting But be there by a quarter to two." As loud as he dared With nostrils all flared Smith ranted and raved Like he was depraved No wonder Mickey was scared He began with a deep fierce roar And huffed like a bear that was sore   "It's not easy to say I can't stand things this way I can't take it like this any more." Smith blew his red nose on his sleeve Then said "You must take now your leave   You've driven me crazy No, I'm not being lazy I need some more me-time to grieve." "I know that our feelings were strong I am sorry that you must now be gone   I'll always love you You held my hand in the loo It's not that you did anything wrong." Now who should replace him within? Our choices are looking too thin.  I do know a man...   This could be a plan... A Zimbabwean that has a big chin. Now the panel has been sacked The whole system looks cracked   Who is next their line?   Graeme Smith would be fine.. The captain has not yet been whacked. But what more can we say? Madness now leads the way.   Since Onions' not out   South Africa have doubt 'bout all that's 'tween night and the day.
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Feb 9, 2010
Feb 9, 2010 at 10:47 PM UTC
Saffer Selection Shambles
Up pops the blue hat out of his hole Bop goes the bopper on in the game called Whack a mole. Its a teasing game. And a game of chance If you stand out from The group and pack. Chances are you are gonna get whacked. But that is the price that one must pay If you plan to succeeed and go on your way. Standing pat or sitting still can work at times And keep one safe. Standing your ground is sound stratigy. But what works fory ou may not work for me.
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Jun 3, 2013
Jun 3, 2013 at 9:54 PM UTC
whack a mole
Enid's old man gives me the stare as we pass on the stair I know he's whacked her for sure after the cinema date and coming back late but he says nothing his the silent glare as if he could scare I walk on up and he goes down that cocky way he has of walking away that Bogart stare to my Elvis smile at least for a while I look down at him from the balcony as he crosses the Square and off out of sight to work or play as any other day I wait to be sure he won't return then go to Enid's door and knock and wait no one comes all is quiet no answer to my knock so I knock again and her mother comes and pokes her head around the door and says what do you want? how's Enid? I ask best go or her father'll know and give us both another blow I stand my ground and give her a stare where is she? is she ok? her mother sports a blackened eye he might return she says he's gone I watched him go I say she sighs and calls ENID and walks past me to the balcony and looks over Enid comes to the door red eyed and a swollen lip can you come out and play? I ask her mother walks back to the door and says not today now go away I lean towards Enid and kiss her cheek and touch her hand see you around Kid I say then her mother closes the door and reluctantly I go away.
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Jun 11, 2015
Jun 11, 2015 at 2:36 PM UTC
NOT THIS TIME 1957.