"undesired" poems
Unloved and undesired
Felt like the universe conspired
Unfocused and uninspired
Tell me, will I ever get tired?
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 27, 2015 at 11:50 AM UTC
Let me know
What was that
That made you
To choose him/her
She/He replied
Leave it, or listen
***** is the future
Nothing more
Being an observant and a traveller of examined life I come to this conclusion. Tragedy does not happen, from the very beginning It is "Us" who pave the path within. With the unawareness we focus to travel to the destination where we don't belong. Throughout the journey we keep on dreaming with a hope of a good day making us vulnerable to the threshold, when even a single undesired word, few seconds delay, lyrics of the background music could unexpectedly break us.
Trust me we all are fragile.
Let it be simple, if we are watering the leaves of the plant and hope to grow, we get the result what we have to accept. Sometime mishaps happens, we are the culprit. How dare we expect to water the roots of the plant in neighbor's terrace and wish for the fruit to be ours.
We may smell the fragrance if the kind breeze blow towards our side.
Even we may always get the fragrance if we follow the direction of the wind.
The choice is ours.
Does it worth?
Will we be happy?
Can we hide the pain?
Always
The choice is all ours.
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 20, 2018 at 9:33 PM UTC
i am tired,
my eyes start to close,
i feel undesired,
my body is disposed.
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 2:27 PM UTC
I still remember your eyes
I still remember you always holding me
Keeping me safe from harm with all your charm
I remember feeling you looking at me, and I
Know you're still there, you're so wonderful!
I couldn't help but fall in love with you
And get crushes everywhere else, too.
It's just so unfair to have found such
Lovely romances, and suffer heartbreaks!
I can't help where my heart
Goes, but that's why I'm torn apart...
Please remember I'm always here and so is
My love too, it's not easy to be what society
Wants of you, especially love! Love is wild and
It's so undesired to be told I'm a cheater
When I have an excuse, I'm only human too!
Just remember I wasn't born with a defective
Heart, and it isn't easy to be torn apart.
Feb 12, 2015
Feb 12, 2015 at 7:05 AM UTC
My mouth is full of moths
My words are not pretty
They do not flutter out with grace and ease
Instead
Twitching as they find their exit from my lips
They are not butterfly
With a name so smooth that it rolls off the tongue
I am not monarch
But
The decaying flesh it preys upon
The contrast between beauty and reality
I do not know why
Why
People like me are attracted to light
I guess it makes since
To swim towards brightness
When you've spent so much of your life in the darkness
Cocooned in between empty spaces
Nesting in silk spun from my own silence
I have spent months inside my shell
Learning how to find my own voice
Learning how to speak my own language
Hearing myself talk for 18 years but for the first time actually listening
Like moth
Touch sends me fleeting
Like moth
Attention back into hiding
I am not conspicous
Nor do I crave to be
Like caterpillar
We
Are all given blind hope
Told that someday
We will be noticed
Visible
Beautiful
But some spend so much time
Preparing for glory
That they forget storybooks lie
That in real life
The very hungry caterpillar
Who was promised butterfly
Becomes moth
Moth
What most see as ugly
And intrusive
Chewing holes in your finest clothing
Making home unwanted places
Moth is undesired
Butterfly is welcomed
Tell me why
One is invited in and the other shut out
Moth is not pretty
Moths lack ofbeauty
Is enough
To disregard it
All at once
Different is enough
To disregard all at once
Do not disregard me
Because I am not ideal
Because i am not fully painted winged beauty
We as a society only stop to see what catches the eye
Unable to notice the intricisies
Of darkness
So look a little closer
Try a little harder
Because if anything is to be known
It is that beauty
Is not
In the obvious.
Jun 12, 2014
Jun 12, 2014 at 2:49 PM UTC
Seven New Poems For Seven Days #3: Orphan
Orphan
The funeral will commence at 11:30 am.
Gives me one last review time before the
Final Exam.
Panicked, I discover a whole new chapter
for which I am wholly unprepared,
though its inevitable presence was
assuredly knowable long in advance.
Orphan
It doesn't fit, occur, imagery is of a young child to
soon abandoned, not a late-in-life curmudgeonly poet-boy,
who has been multi-times reincarnated.
I add this title to my list
of proper ways to address me,
titles earned by dint of hard work,
or just unlucky luck.
This new status, orphanhood,
bequeaths no special privileges,
other than, a semi-official
societal permission slip
to feel bereft, lost, and compose poetry.
Know a real orphan, from early, early on,
has never recovered and
never will for it is just impossible.
Just impossible.
So whom am I to make light of
my undesired, unrequested new degree?
I accept it and to my surprise,
It hurts.
7/21/13
Jul 30, 2013
Jul 30, 2013 at 11:56 AM UTC
i'm a loose hair on your diner scrambled eggs:
undesired.
Apr 29, 2014
Apr 29, 2014 at 10:26 PM UTC
Love is always praised into the heavens
But never is a tale spoken in which hatred truly prevails,
For those creatures who have nothing but it left seem so lost,
Is this the price they are taking, or must this be a farewell ?
Alike love, hate can give strengh but also great misery,
For those who have lost the access to light it is but an embrace,
Because for them the heart was made to be broken,
Eventually though, through all odds they find their way, despising what they formerly had done, had felt and had acted.
This side of the story remains lonesome,
The light of love is for all to bear in the end,
But the embrace of hatred is undesired as if it was cursed,
Just because the darkness made an attempt to protect their minds,
An outcast who was left behind, who was undefended,
Bidden farewell the shadows of night give in to the sunrays
Another night ends in defeat.
~ Umi
Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 4:30 PM UTC
Walking, always walking,
Puzzled youth being funneled like cattle,
Seek shelter from the sun,
Jeer and poke at each other,
All from the safety of their cell phones.
Constantly seeking that one undesired retention
Of jukebox explosion catapults.
Thrusting us deeper into the mind/brain paradox
What is this?
What are these strange mutterings in the dark?
Babysitting wasp nests by electro shock railroads,
Disgust in the face of the many.
Where is this golden eclipse we’re all waiting for?
How can I not see the spiders on my windowsill?
Are these anguished, infantile youth truly desired?
Aggravated Neanderthal men
Try to impress pulsating goddesses of Light,
All to no prevail.
Sickening feeling in the gut,
Why aren’t you here?
Well I suppose,
Things have changed.
The Empress of the tunnel
Seeks out the empire halls
Of the tunnel-bound angst,
Musicians in the hall strumming
There thoughtless musings,
While the the debutantes watch and listen.
The intensity is unbearable to them,
They must seek shelter in their ipods.
Milk, must have it.
Watching them creep through the cafe,
May they one day find what they’re seeking.
Where are they?
Sitting here by myself,
Look at them jeering at each other
In their own jargons.
Have they seeked out the pleasure of life?
Dream-like meditations,
Well-rounded views of life,
Happiness within.
Dumbly smile at each other,
Seeking closeness,
Mind/body consciousness
Feb 28, 2011
Feb 28, 2011 at 1:05 PM UTC
Music of the street
Reverberates loudly
Out the dumpster,
From the tiny mouth
Of a screaming
Baby
Wrought in the wombs
Of filth, injustice,
Foggy rage.
Tongues ripped out,
On the floor, tastebuds that
Know the pang
of blue blood.
Rusty nails and overused syringes
***** the fingers,
Softly.
The people yell, maniacally,
Yet remain unheard.
Pain becomes evident,
Written on the faces
Of the unwholesome.
A wafting scent of
Their rotten morals,
Forgotten dreams,
Floats, as hot steam,
from the pavement.
Unable now
To decompose.
Across the road,
A pregnant woman holds
Her cigarette, which
Smells of cookies
And cream soda.
Jesus was enlightened,
Not too pious
For the poor.
Yet more than pain
Was written
On their faces,
Missing tongues, missing eyes.
Laid together
On the piss-stained mattress,
Feet to head and head
To feet.
Nonsense was confused
As words, that danced into
Non-platonic humps.
She kissed him, because
She wanted to feel
The texture of his brain.
Pick her up with
Golden hand, though
She may see you.
And the sad image of
Dollar bills
Inspires the mind,
Making it immobile.
Here, where the **********
Stands, more holy
Than the monastery.
Crawling, as they do,
Through unpainted,
Rented walls, like
Hungry little cockroaches,
Creeping for a bite.
The small infant still
Lays on metal, each
Moment crying softer
For warmth.
Though you will not
Hear her tomorrow,
As she’s carted off by
Garbage men
Who, each week, remove
The undesired
Remnants of yesterday.
Hope for sweet
Needles to sooner bring her
A different relief.
Life is so simple
When struggles
Are never-ending.
Mi amor pequeña,
no llores más. El fin está cerca,
aunque no entiende
mis palabras.
Though the buildings
Surrender with
Decay and the sun decides
He doesn’t want
To keep on caring
The music still plays mournfully,
And only the baby can hear.
May 13, 2013
May 13, 2013 at 7:24 AM UTC
She's Tired...
of the broken promises,
and of the broken dreams,
She's tired.
of being unappreciated,
taken for granted and hurt.
of lies rolling off your tongue,
and of the swelling tears,
she'd learn to hide.
She's tired of feeling replaceable,
disappointed and undesired,
of broken hearts,
--broken trust,
and of the emptiness she feels.
She's tired,
of being yours,
when you do not know how to love her.
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 24, 2016 at 7:07 PM UTC
She's searches for the path that takes her right,
But of course; it's out of sight
She's makes life long commitments
For in her belly there is a figment
"Three months old"
she says "it is distant"
Her mom asks with Constance's,
how she's supposed to take care of something of her own,
because when it comes to her own self;
Well, she is all alone
every night there is a wish she grants
too find away out what she can't
For smoking ****
and doing wrong deeds
Doesn't fit her needs
For she dreams higher
She wants to be admired
Not undesired...
Mar 18, 2015
Mar 18, 2015 at 2:07 PM UTC
you enter my dreams with such audacious curiousity;
examined the void with intellect- deprived precision,
inspected every crevice painted in colour.
you left the blue for last because you say
the amphetamine matches my eyes.
you sample every syllable ever borne from my mouth,
denude the metaphors to their unchaste nakedness,
reach inside for unfleshly meaning.
you say all my filthy secrets implode into
ugly saliva bubbles on the brim of my tongue
and that is why you bite it off.
you make the drain spin out water. you make reverse hurricanes.
you euthanise my suffering mind with vulgarity and sliver-veined chalks.
i like it when the moon is yellow and not white.
spread me across your bones, you make me cold
**** in flesh. you wear me on your head as you would a stubborn fever.
you lick the lily, burn away its petals and
then you use the ashes in your next drag.
there are ghosts in your hair, they want idiosyncratic judgments.
they want anatomised angels and amputated wings.
they want ribs, signals, vessels and chlorine and aileron segments.
and electric ***
i am thinking of lexemes and lycoris, the vulnerability of artlessness,
prosthetic fingers and cigarettes, the umbrella under metal rain.
i only remember realities when they are expired.
the ribbon between cognition and the ventriloquist.
the psychology in undesired sentences.
this is the only immortality you and i may share; amongst ourselves
like teenagers filching answers before algebra, like dealers exchanging
eight-balls, pipes and profanity, like animals in chemical heat.
this vanilla immortality that we no longer need.
i'm watching the end of the world
from underneath your clothes.
Nov 1, 2010
Nov 1, 2010 at 6:42 AM UTC
Throwing up will make you beautiful
After all, beauty is pain
Waxing every square inch of your human body
Squeezing into those Spanx to hide your smallest flaws
Your daughter, she needs help with her eating disorder
There's no beauty in that. Strictly pain.
Or telling your 20 year old best friend everyday for 6 years a size 3 isn't anywhere neat fat
Having the same conversation with a 10 year old girl: is that any more beautiful? No.
Forget that beauty isn't painful
A mother experiencing excruciating pain yet forgetting it all when she holds her child for the first time
Death of a man with terminal illness--all the pain built up to the soul finally at ease
The battered woman seeking courage to break free and begin new life
Actual emphasis to "beauty is pain" is one who pushes through the undesired struggle-- beauty is the reward
Remember that beauty can be painful
What's beautiful in your life?
Dec 5, 2013
Dec 5, 2013 at 3:24 PM UTC
**
With each turn passing
My shadow was following me
Winter wind was blowing
My shadow was freezing cold..**
With each turns and hedges
It just ran through the corners..
With sun getting high
It got wild and strong
With my frequent desperation
to get rid of it
It got bigger and bold..
The more I disliked it's free attitude..
It showed me it's competing style..
The more I drove faster
It lingered me thin and bigger..
Finally came the setting sun..
It became taller than me
I called it loud names..
It grew bigger so could
not hear me..
Tall mountains and tall shadow
Was both chilled and freezed..
It continued it's run behind me
Guess that was the reason it did
not freeze..
I was getting annoyed with it
My whole time went away
Watch and try to shed it away
So I could move free..
It lingered around me
With claws of it's own
The more I drove reckless
The tighter it's grip grew..
With night setting in
I searched for it in vain..
In desperation to rid from it
I had driven deep in terrain..**
Now darkness engulfed me
It hid some where,
vanished,
frozen cold winds
knocked my car away..
I started missing the company
My shadow had given me
Instead of trying to rid from it
I started longing for it's company..
In that winter night
With that smoked air coming
from my month,
I tried calling it with my shaking voice
I looked for it's company to keep me warmed..
Yet it disappeared till
night waned away
And
Morning
Sun came by..!
In those colder dark hours
I realised the value of my shadow!
From undesired company
It became my closest friend
From unwanted distracter
It became my priority partner..
And now me and my shadow are company together
I never feel lonely again..
Anyone who join me in my drive
Feels like a intruder between the two of us..
I sing along, my shadow keeps dancing and both of us make a perfect
Blend...
On each passing turn
It blends to take a bend..!!
Sparkle In Wisdom
1 Jan 2019.
Jan 10, 2019
Jan 10, 2019 at 8:40 AM UTC
All I have ever been to you
Is the person that made you smile
Made you laugh when you were down
I could mold you into so many shapes
Paint you in so many colors
Yet I remained a jester in your empire
I was always afraid of being beheaded
Or exiled from this land
Of golden roads paved smoothly
Castle walls built higher than mountains
Where tears haven't once left their mark
This land has never seen war
Not one conflict has come to light
Yet my love for you
Always keeps me personally close
To always hear you when you call
I'm a jester in your empire
The only one I think
So why haven't you beheaded me
Or exiled me from this place
That is your heart
When I have caused a million problems
Brought a thousand undesired tears
Yet I remain your jester
I was once your King
And you were once my Queen
I built these castle walls
I paved these roads
I made this empire from the broken pieces of nothing
You left me when I made our love
Seem almost like a fairytale
And you got scared and made me your jester
Stripped me of my crown
Replaced it with a foule-bordeau
I hope your happy now
Maybe this is where I belong
Just wish I could sleep in that bed with you
Listen to our favorite song
And I could make you smile and laugh
All night long and well into the early hours of tomorrow
Yet I know my place as a jester in your empire
Apr 11, 2013
Apr 11, 2013 at 4:12 PM UTC
Look in on his
Loneliness
As he – in|
The rugged determination of
The very rock
Under his feet:
Stares into the storm of our dreams.
The whiteness of our innocent and
Unguarded
Emotions|
Are a storm that blew the sea of rationality
From the strange crags of the floors
Of unconscious spiritual awakening
To unknown
Undesired
And neverending-
-Short. Love.
And sweet comforting familiarity.
It’s all useless,
Every bit meaningless.
The deepest
Sadness being|
He
Knows
None of it.
Sep 28, 2011
Sep 28, 2011 at 10:02 PM UTC
I am not pure
My shell is cracked and eroded in most places
Many have chiseled me away
And took the remains
The light grows dim on the inside
So dim it's no longer appealing to make a home
I am destined to crumble alone
Much like a puzzle undesired because few or more pieces are gone
I don't place the blame on anyone but my own
I often wonder if there's a another out there with a light inside that's not so bright
I want to see their face
So we can crumble at eachothers feet
Our componants will mix together
And form a beautiful masterpiece
Forever isn't relative
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014 at 4:32 AM UTC
A sadness deepens itself into the center of my body
An uncontrolling undesired sadness
That meanders my heart
& perturbs my mind
An uneasy feeling of grievous loss heaves into me
I feel repulsed by these unfortunate feelings
& I'm trying to will them to leave
I cannot explicate this harrowing pain that dredges in my mirthless soul.
I am crying out for comfort
Because my desolate-being is overwhelmed with grief
For I have been mislead by someone I thought I could trust
But they were disgraceful
& abused my solicitudity
And now I'm sitting here baffled
Because who knew.. That you could make me feel so terror-stricken
I trusted you to keep me safe when I told you my sacred secret...
The one secret that ruined me completely
But this goes to show, that you cannot trust anyone
But yourself.
Jun 25, 2013
Jun 25, 2013 at 12:54 AM UTC
I am your worthlessness, personified
your undesired offspring cast aside
project the guilt through hostility
reflect the problems and faults onto me
pathetic coward, you have the nerve
to blame this on me?
you think this world owes you a favor
poor, twisted reality
the heaviest grudge anchors my heart to the floor
I locked it behind you when you walked out the door
tear me down
further minimize yourself
mutilated ego
your pride is your health
forgiveness runs black
every morning I skip a meal
abandonment inflicted
the wound that cannot heal
Jan 4, 2014
Jan 4, 2014 at 2:50 AM UTC
I have done something “horribly immoral”.
I should’ve never touched her.
Anna Marie Coral
Pale skin, green eyes
Like emeralds among pearls. But…
When I look at her she shies?
Soft skin glowing in the night.
When I touch her
I hear beautiful fright,
Feel heart beats. Faster.
Caused by my careful capture.
Terrified eyes,
Beauty magnified.
Lovely lips quivering
My affection delivering
Undesired, ****** and direct.
What did she expect?
Being told all of my life
What’s wrong is what feels right.
My peace comes not from violence
But from my victims silence.
I crave them, these abducted affairs.
Prison bars, Pleads and prayers
Won’t quench my thirst.
Food’s first bite tastes better in fast.
Anna Marie Coral wasn’t my first and
She won’t be my last.
Jan 11, 2014
Jan 11, 2014 at 5:33 PM UTC
At the start
Beside myself
Can’t find peace
Don’t get wealth
Even Joy
Flits away
Gone tomorrow
Here today
Inside my arms
Joy found you
Kindles hope
Like dreams come true
My head spins round
Nothing’s through
Opinions differ
People too
Questions raised
Rants and raves
Some complain
To be praised
Undesired
Vile horrific
Wedged within
Xenolithic
Yet with time you’ll soon set free
Zest for life and zest for me
Jun 1, 2013
Jun 1, 2013 at 5:56 AM UTC
Standing as a posthumous syllogism on the main platform of the terminal, is the statue,
Of what is perceived to be man. Nondescript in attitude and feature, balanced
By the raw fact that a craftsman was disposed to cast it in bronze.
The likeness of the general populace, defined through blank eyes, in the perfect reflection
Of the truth. It seems that the epitome of accepted natural progression, that there
Should be no inscription, no engraved statement of popularity or definition on its base.
The dank smell and dust on the edifice on which it resides, continues to be a grim reminder
of the expected and the commonplace. The reminder of what was and is, is left unnoticed,
Forgotten by the familiar repetitive sight.
The dying terminal (a redundant epithet) has grown dark through the cast of despair
And false hope showering its massive windows from above. Light source has been cut off,
Leaving only a path of beaten resolve, to direct the feet of the misguided.
Not unlike the path, closest to the fence, struck hard by the hooves of the cattle, prompted forward
by the hand out of food in the first cold days of winter. The stream grows on a daily basis, more and more
The masses trip and stumble aboard the trains, to find their lurching, rocking way to self destruction.
Nobility could have been found in even handed choice. Those who chose the line, the prolonged rail of
Indifference and non-comprehension. Rails of iron, rusted like the rotted cheap pines on the waters edge.
It is the longest journey, containing the most miles, the last station, the end of earth and existence.
In some way you have known the base emotion, and what has been the guise of continuity, it is a new
Reality, a new abstraction, there are no contradictions. The checked premise and the realization
In words and concepts, those things we have known all along.
The realization is loved and hated at the same time, and it can only be beneficial that the welcome
Exceeds the hatred. The desperate homage to the masses is fading from the tangibleness, and is
Replaced the the disquieting base physical feeling of the impending no mater being undesired.
More important is the knowledge, that the precepts and premises held
Without words have the tangible meaning long desired,
And that the intangible reward, that can only be shared with few.
Dec 26, 2011
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:02 PM UTC
Bursting at the seams,
desperately trying to use
a needle and thread to sew myself together.
Hopefully,
no one will notice the stitches.
Heaven forbid,
I open like a teddy bear
and all the stuffing falls out.
I've already spent too much time
trying to hold everything together.
Opening up,
becoming vulnerable, losing that soft tissue
makes that poor bear lumpy,
feeling undesired.
He's not the only one.
Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 3:53 AM UTC