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yann Mar 30
A peculiar little bird, quite fond of the warmth of
Summer flights,
Has been found perched on my branches
For quite a while

A friend to most, quite dear to me,
This little bird
Attached his nest quite messily,
Then went around with evening's glee,

A crooked fellow, he loved to sow
Sweet little seeds,
Happy to grow
In the bark, in the soil,
Everything always nurtured in joy,

This winter, it seems the cold took you away,
How sad to see a tree with no song,
Left alone in decay.

At last,
When spring comes back around,
In the sway of leaves going round and round,
Like a choir singing along,
Perhaps will be heard another song.
30.03.2024 a birthday and missing a friend
yann Nov 2023
when i dissociate from my thoughts, when i let the anger win

i imagine banging my head on concrete, scrapping the skin off, ripping everything

destroying my eyes on walls, clawing, stabbing my knees again and again and again

and i don’t scream no, i take it

i take it all

it feels good to destroy, at least i feel like

my body is at peace with my mind, i feel complete

i feel complete.
yann Oct 2023
my face bursting open, awfully gorish,
scrapping my head on the asphalt right
in front of my house, door still opened.
the rocks break my teeth and i still
don't stop moving, i don't.
the ground must feel my pain, back to the earth
right at its center my blood should return, safe.
i tear it apart, what's left of me, this awful body
ripped to shreds, destroyed so cruelly, i rip it,
again and again
feel my flesh, see,
see my pain.
watch me.
22.09.23 this is how i dissociate lately
yann Jun 2023
monster, by the lake
look at me, arms opened wide
i wait
for in your eyes i knew a flame
of wonder, monster
burning away my fears
of you.

sorrowful sorrow,
have you swallowed up
in your endless depths
my good
haunted friend ?
he who was waiting
for me
to come back
by the lake.

here i am, monster
this time i did not run
i embraced each
cursed tree
of this forest.
i walked. no,
i crawled, no
i almost killed my self.
here i am, monster.
i do not fear
your eyes
whatever sadness
anger, pain,
they bear.

water, show me my
my arms opened,
show me the eyes,
show me the rotten flesh,
i dare look. i dare.

here you are.
10.06.2023 started therapy a while back, finally
yann Apr 2023
other people have forced me to bear the price of my own loneliness.
i was its first victim, its first culprit,
my hand, though, was not the one to take aim
and fire the most hurtful shot of all ;

i do not look at you with vengeful eyes, because i have learnt to hold kindness preciously.
it is my sadness that is piercing, strong enough
to break my heart,
angry enough to build it back,
worse, if needed, just to go on and  
03.04.23 - 1:55, after a meal at the indian place, with all the people who don't care and the few who do. after the walk to the train, together. after the walk back, alone. after this year.
yann Apr 2023
in march, i stopped breathing.
one entire year spent stumbling,
and then finally, a friend to us, lost,
never to be heard again, seen again,
in my memories, he keeps on smiling
under the fireworks he lit in all of us.

to the lost ones, to the ones who keep
flailing and flailing through any cities,
any families, any wishes,
i pray for our feet to walk sturdily
to flee our own sorrows, our sad
mistakes, sad, like everyone else's.
02.04.23 - grief, again, different this time.
yann Feb 2023
when the wind pierces through
my skin, gently,
mouth resonating, I sing.

teeth crackling, rumbles of words
pieces of answers, pieces of mind,
little melodies, I speak.

winter, your harsher airs
creeping through my soft tissues,
bones lonely, I mute myself.

fingernails peeling off, shaking,
puking my insides, cold notes,
cold loves, cold leaves,
cold fears, I shrink.
02.02.23 rough year, huh ?
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