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"premeditated" poems
The spider, dropping down from twig, Unfolds a plan of her devising, A thin premeditated rig To use in rising. And all that journey down through space, In cool descent and loyal hearted, She spins a ladder to the place From where she started. Thus I, gone forth as spiders do In spider's web a truth discerning, Attach one silken thread to you For my returning.
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The Spider's Web
Murdering murderers done gone melancholy in the moonlight. It's midnight. The perfect time to commit a crime. Here's to premeditated drug dealing. And everything else that can get me a one way ticket. To the Devil's bed-room.
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Jun 18, 2012
Jun 18, 2012 at 11:55 AM UTC
Premeditated Drug Dealing.
In my pursuit of a higher education I am now starting to study the process of human decomposition And how strange we all rot away like road **** and plant vegetation. I see the word Casper and my memory takes me back to when I was a child Remembering he was a sad and lonely invisible cartoon character. I am now reading it is a proven scientific law, that after you pass And you give up your ghost, your body then becomes A breeding ground and you are the decaying host. Trying to hide the evidence you’re now digging a shallow grave Don’t do that because it takes eight times longer Thinking about submerging in water? Yes, it’s a little quicker But if someone did you seriously wrong and unfair The quickest way to decompose them is, Just leave them hiding under some brush and in the summer open air So then the flies, insects and bee's’ can make a home in their hair. Sir Isaac Newton told the world how gravity should behave And now a modern man proved it is no longer so I can see now, Newton is raging hard and deep inside his grave. I have not a single fear the only thing that scares me is, I know without any doubt now that I am insanely brave Trust me I’ll drag your corpse also and hide it in my make shift grave. I’m out on a night prowl to change Casper’s law And prove to you all that it was really only just a theory Reading books about death gives me a thrill, Better pray and hope I don’t someday become terminally ill Everything I do stems from my madness and with it, Premeditated thoughts and also a great conspiracy.  (SirCARSr. 3-2-2013)
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Mar 3, 2013
Mar 3, 2013 at 5:05 PM UTC
Casper’s Law of Decomposition
In my pursuit of a higher education I am now starting to study the process of human decomposition And how strange we all rot away like road **** and plant vegetation. I see the word Casper and my memory takes me back to when I was a child Remembering he was a sad and lonely invisible cartoon character. I am now reading it is a proven scientific law, that after you pass And you give up your ghost, your body then becomes A breeding ground and you are the decaying host. Trying to hide the evidence you’re now digging a shallow grave Don’t do that because it takes eight times longer Thinking about submerging in water? Yes, it’s a little quicker But if someone did you seriously wrong and unfair The quickest way to decompose them is, Just leave them hiding under some brush and in the summer open air So then the flies, insects and bee's’ can make a home in their hair. Sir Isaac Newton told the world how gravity should behave And now a modern man proved it is no longer so I can see now, Newton is raging hard and deep inside his grave. I have not a single fear the only thing that scares me is, I know without any doubt now that I am insanely brave Trust me I’ll drag your corpse also and hide it in my make shift grave. I’m out on a night prowl to change Casper’s law And prove to you all that it was really only just a theory Reading books about death gives me a thrill, Better pray and hope I don’t someday become terminally ill Everything I do stems from my madness and with it, Premeditated thoughts and also a great conspiracy.  (SirCARSr. 3-2-2013)
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The world's on fire, peace is extinct Look how fragile peaceful minds can get All hostile minds are having a ball right now. It's like peace got embellished in chaos. Where's peace at, what happened to her? Regional, global local, peace is in short supply. This is the renaissance of a new world order Where partial peace coexists with total chaos People only search Google for mostly facts Not for solutions to some distorted peace What is peace then, how can it be? Just a routine rhetorical question Coming from the disturbed mind in me Listen, One-minute partial peace Bang, another minute total chaos! Nowadays, Instability everywhere is commonplace As unscripted hate rhetoric freely echos, From jihadic podiums to confused minds. The conspicuous birthplace of premeditated evil. The mind, soft spots of those totally confused Call it the hotspots and playground for the devil. I, the skeptic, to say the very least, See this quiet storm as a distorted peace! twitter @ivaclappers
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Jan 15, 2018
Jan 15, 2018 at 12:44 PM UTC
Distorted Peace
Favorite word: “nymphet”, but no! Halcyon, a kind of drug, you know. Searching through the pages’ mist And imagined deeds Of poets’ needs… I found my favourite word, As asked, Neither sacred nor profane That describes the Venetian rain In my beloved’s eyes And the Florentine sun upon her hair: “Auburn, russet, mythopoeic”. Oh, it is not fair, To liken an object Of my lust and love To anything as mortal as autumn air! Nor “October’s orchard Haze”; She had her own Inscrutable, premeditated ways! Rather let me say that she was perfect, Though her eyes, pale and myopic, Her shuffling gait and Graceless limbs, to them Grace lends Fey charm, the power to mend My suffering and Delusions of a poet’s end As anything but pathetic, (Her mother’s fondness for vague emetics) And I left softly hanging, On a girl’s new taste, A tang of russet apples on her face, But no, not that, the sum Of my love, My Lo! Then her bleak demise, partly by my hand That none of you brutes could understand; The pure love, So sadly consummated, Between a lover And the one she hated Yet loved once with inexplicable delight, On one stolen, frightened night… In which the two of us agreed To satisfy a simple, yet maniacal need, And then depart… But I could not, You see; She was my life, My love, my heart. Humbert Humbert 1950 Sharon Talbot ca. 2005
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Sep 9, 2017
Sep 9, 2017 at 11:11 AM UTC
October’s Orchard Haze
i. He stared at the woman, eyes darting to memorize her angles and features,   at any moment this mirage could disappear. For two full minutes he was unable to speak, too scared to let words loose; they can no longer be hidden once they’ve been exposed. So he kissed her instead, because he liked how it felt to no longer feel alone. ii. The grip of loneliness refused to let her go, like the claws of a jealous lover. “One thing for certain, there is no god. We are completely alone, love is ******** “What if I showed you that you are not alone, how would it change your life?” “I think I might actually be happy.” “You are happy when you let yourself be…there is this…fire inside of you,  but every time the momentum starts to build you tell yourself whatever you need to hear to keep it from taking you.” iii. “Why the hell are you starting this with me? This isn’t right.” “Who says I’m starting anything?” “Oh, you’re one of ‘those’ guys.” “What are ‘those’ guys?” “The type of guy who pretends that he doesn’t know what he’s doing, and doesn’t admit to what he’s doing so he can play innocent when he’s called to the carpet. But in reality,  he knows exactly what he is doing, and most of it is premeditated.” “Like ****** “Yeah, something like that. There is a good chance something or someone could die in this scenario.” iv. They laid still for a while, trying to catch their breath. “I think your parents named you after the wrong Craig Finn character.” “Oh, yeah?” “They should have called you Hallelujah, because you sound like an angel when you *** She smiled and she kissed him and they made love again, and she felt like an angel. v. He started out the door and turned, lifting his shy head to look at her “As far as I’m concerned, you are the only one I’ve ever slept with.” She stopped breathing, afraid to believe the nouns and verbs that were floating.   She repeated the sentence out loud after he walked away. They were the most loving, pure and perfect words she had ever heard.
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Jun 27, 2013
Jun 27, 2013 at 12:38 PM UTC
Jimi and Mango i
i. He stared at the woman, eyes darting to memorize her angles and features,   at any moment this mirage could disappear. For two full minutes he was unable to speak, too scared to let words loose; they can no longer be hidden once they’ve been exposed. So he kissed her instead, because he liked how it felt to no longer feel alone. ii. The grip of loneliness refused to let her go, like the claws of a jealous lover. “One thing for certain, there is no god. We are completely alone, love is ******** “What if I showed you that you are not alone, how would it change your life?” “I think I might actually be happy.” “You are happy when you let yourself be…there is this…fire inside of you,  but every time the momentum starts to build you tell yourself whatever you need to hear to keep it from taking you.” iii. “Why the hell are you starting this with me? This isn’t right.” “Who says I’m starting anything?” “Oh, you’re one of ‘those’ guys.” “What are ‘those’ guys?” “The type of guy who pretends that he doesn’t know what he’s doing, and doesn’t admit to what he’s doing so he can play innocent when he’s called to the carpet. But in reality,  he knows exactly what he is doing, and most of it is premeditated.” “Like ****** “Yeah, something like that. There is a good chance something or someone could die in this scenario.” iv. They laid still for a while, trying to catch their breath. “I think your parents named you after the wrong Craig Finn character.” “Oh, yeah?” “They should have called you Hallelujah, because you sound like an angel when you *** She smiled and she kissed him and they made love again, and she felt like an angel. v. He started out the door and turned, lifting his shy head to look at her “As far as I’m concerned, you are the only one I’ve ever slept with.” She stopped breathing, afraid to believe the nouns and verbs that were floating.   She repeated the sentence out loud after he walked away. They were the most loving, pure and perfect words she had ever heard.
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red stains, fading, cracked, scented      _if i kissed your prints, would they kiss me back?_ sighs, thoughts, spaces between prints      spaces between words, between parted lips and floating thoughts the world! is so crowded with space but yours is the one i want to fill .      but where are the lines? lines of loss, lines of lawns, lines of ink and rips and more stains and letters, in the hands and on the pavement where are the lines? why won't you go there? why do you hover in these foul, indomitable spaces? why do you seek that which you should not?      if the shadow of lines slinks in your quiet expression, then why are you still here?      if the echo of your soft face lingers in my hands, if the whisper of your breath and the heat of your skin still singes my own, then why do you disappear? lovely wraith, lovely memory of a thing that once was, why do you sit so alone? because i am coming to your space, and if you can see me, of shadow and fog, then i will meet you there,      on a line of our own. _>because it's a death premeditated and i can see it unfolding,_      _sharp wounding painful_ _and the discourse in the sky is telling me so, yet why do i keep walking west?_
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Aug 18, 2018
Aug 18, 2018 at 5:28 PM UTC
spaces& lines .
a ****** of crows gathers over Hamburg, carrion carrying on with business as usual. feeding on the festered flesh of a gentrified populace. in private jets coughing carbon they fly from the west on turbine wings, engines screaming as they dive towards a nation secured by razor-wound walls and barb-wire borders. they pitched a battle in Germany, convinced that austerity would ******* the resistance and give justification to premeditated violence. but the tables have turned on the thieves again. we are the end result of your failed policies, globalization has destroyed our homes. if your cabal rallies like a kettle of vultures, you will do so behind closed doors, cowering in your fortress' halls. you shall not pass. watch as the power shifts like the melting gears of torched BMWs. we will tear the vestiges of your authority down. we will black out your surveillance cameras, smash your windows, and block your limos. no pasaran. flee, while you can still run. this city belongs to the wild ones, a black bloc, thousands strong, dancing amidst the tear gas, tossing molotovs. marching to liberty's sturdy drum, equal in our solidarity song.
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Jul 8, 2017
Jul 8, 2017 at 12:14 PM UTC
(bloc)k
From sleeps sweet embrace To become realities eyes Clouded with a dark imagination Set forth in a torturous rhyme Insanity my love Premeditated thoughts undisclosed Revealed the prophecy Attired in woe Each long night when dreams turned to sand The delicate soul lay bathed in tears Doing battle protected by the amour of loyalty Overcoming the conquests of fear Nightmares emerged from sleeps sweet embrace Memories became realities stark face. Morning comes and ends the assault A peace that is gained At a terrible cost. This poem is copyrighted and stored in author base. All material subject to Copyright Infringement laws Section 512(c)(3) of the U.S. Copyright Act, 17 U.S.C. S512(c)(3), Tammy M. Darby Jan.7,  2015
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Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 3:25 AM UTC
Nightmares Emerge
I always wanted to be that random style of writer Writing about things which have no connection In reality but they are connective only by the ingenuity Of his genuflection; the circumvention of his Circuitous routing, his plaintive perturbing petulance Which insists on stacking things of different orders Flying birds together of different species If I could write something of the ticking of clocks Not as though the ticking were of premeditated duration Embedded in metal tracks around perimeters Of prevaricated die-cast hours; but as though the ticking Were only a random fixture of a theoretical day In which random clocks ticking played a minor role During the still life of which a poet happened along And copied it all down dutifully, not caring if Ticking clocks were related to pitchers of Forsythia Or falling off of cliffs into the Aegean; The only task of the poet to capture it all And let the reader sort it out later In the random tracks of his circuitous brain: Whether the pitcher was full of sea Or the sea was stealing into the pitcher One blue, serendipitous drop at a time And where no clocks were keeping time.
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Mar 7, 2010
Mar 7, 2010 at 5:36 PM UTC
Painting of a Drop of Seawater
The rooster swivels on its axis returning coarse wind into the pyre of mad, mad tongues raving alongside charred ivory. Lifted by sorry hands from dying embers’ embrace and eased with foreign pity, ceremoniously, into a cardboard crate wheeled against the traffic, stumbling backwards through yellow canvases, between my family dressed in black, to dress the void (deck), mourners spitting soda into their cups, as word paddle upstream, onto a thin futon within four walls stained with unfinished ghosts. The doctor removes the white shroud like God coaxing pink light on the first day and wine oozes through elastic veins to the far corners of my skin thin ventricular walls. One crack, in the doors and in my chest, paramedics in white blur in, heel first, Pan-island couriers on reverse gear to the corner of a numbered street, where I am delivered like a gladiator thrown into the arena of nosy gazes, with the urgency of hens clucking away from premeditated slaughter: deep Christmas red on the tessellated parking lot. Clumsy thumbs dialing 599, I moan inwardly to the concentric circles of strangers retreating, erasing me from cell-phone cameras. Then like a flip animation I snap backwards, up 21 floors, pause for about an hour on the ledge before smashing backwards, back down, past kids scratching graffiti off the cement and growing cigarettes in their mouths. The rain ascends and I take wet cash from the driver while I fidget on the leather and throw up mediocre coffee into my cup. I dig into my throat and return the bread to its plastic bag and when the cab stops I fall left out onto another parking lot, moonwalk up the stairs to where I unwrite my name in the annals of failure and shove the Fs of my past back then I take the bus instead.
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Jan 12, 2013
Jan 12, 2013 at 3:24 AM UTC
Backwards
The rooster swivels on its axis returning coarse wind into the pyre of mad, mad tongues raving alongside charred ivory. Lifted by sorry hands from dying embers’ embrace and eased with foreign pity, ceremoniously, into a cardboard crate wheeled against the traffic, stumbling backwards through yellow canvases, between my family dressed in black, to dress the void (deck), mourners spitting soda into their cups, as word paddle upstream, onto a thin futon within four walls stained with unfinished ghosts. The doctor removes the white shroud like God coaxing pink light on the first day and wine oozes through elastic veins to the far corners of my skin thin ventricular walls. One crack, in the doors and in my chest, paramedics in white blur in, heel first, Pan-island couriers on reverse gear to the corner of a numbered street, where I am delivered like a gladiator thrown into the arena of nosy gazes, with the urgency of hens clucking away from premeditated slaughter: deep Christmas red on the tessellated parking lot. Clumsy thumbs dialing 599, I moan inwardly to the concentric circles of strangers retreating, erasing me from cell-phone cameras. Then like a flip animation I snap backwards, up 21 floors, pause for about an hour on the ledge before smashing backwards, back down, past kids scratching graffiti off the cement and growing cigarettes in their mouths. The rain ascends and I take wet cash from the driver while I fidget on the leather and throw up mediocre coffee into my cup. I dig into my throat and return the bread to its plastic bag and when the cab stops I fall left out onto another parking lot, moonwalk up the stairs to where I unwrite my name in the annals of failure and shove the Fs of my past back then I take the bus instead.
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Premeditated Amnesia 1 For nothing here is old, save for deep layers Of moss and muck and mouldering remains Civilisations lit by visions and fire Now lost beneath a Wal-Mart Parking lot Incuriously the tentacles of Now Slither more deeply into the pale past And churn up yet another housing estate At the corner of Kingsford Lane and Heather Way Near the Motorcycle Church, for piston prayers: For nothing here is old, save for deep layers 1”The U.S. is probably the contemporary world’s purest example of a society which is perpetually trying to abolish history, to avoid thinking in historical terms, to associate dynamism with premeditated amnesia.” -Alexander Woodside quoted by Susan Sontag: https://bostonreview.net/susan-sontag-interview-geoffrey-movius?utm_source=Boston+Review+Email+Subscribers&utm_campaign=b581739691-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2018_08_17_04_17_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_2cb428c5ad-b581739691-41080789
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Nov 18, 2018
Nov 18, 2018 at 4:19 PM UTC
Premeditated Amnesia
I am a criminal,  A low down ***** convict,  Robbing old ladies and turning the youth into like minded thugs and killers.  With my gun, I can turn any day into new years eve.  Bang! Pow! I've just shown you how,  I ***** somebody's light out.  I live by the gun  Ready to pull it out and start blasting away,   And if you're in the way?  I hope you've had an eventful final day.  One more body to my death toll is of little consequence.  And to  those who choose to cross me will be dealt with in a premeditated sequence.  So many women I've widowed,  So many children I've left with only half a family. Do I care? No.  For my heart is as black as my skin  I have no feelings of remorse or empathy.  Or do I?  Am I really this despicable person?  Is what I've just said is not me at all,  Or just what people perceive me to be. The truth is, that's all it is A perception  A perverted perception forced upon me and others like me by illogical stereotypes,  A perverted perception perpetuated to the the point where it has become the status quo, A belief so deeply ingrained in the minds of the masses that I become public enemy number one, two and three,  so deeply ingrained that I should not know what it means to be free,  so deeply ingrained that I should not even be given the change to better myself.  Does this perception out rank reality? Does conceptuality govern the actuality of reality?    If so, I perceive this world to be full of ****
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Oct 18, 2020
Oct 18, 2020 at 5:37 AM UTC
Perceived perception
Urdhva Hastasana Salida del sol. Her paws are bare Ablaze against the black stone heat of the morning stroll Pausing for the last monsoon, whispering Salut? There would not exist consequence for a dampened nose of pusillanimity Carelessly drawn to the astrophysical realm of celestial bodies Illuminating the chivalry once more. We'll sing chansons Oh cabaret! The circumstance and pomp eliding Lavishly rouged lips from sterling glances Exposed by the slow and sultry raise of copper eyes Premeditated, so that they lift in perfect timing Beneath dark lashes to seem accidentally mesmeric. I still lose amethysts They drop from the back of my ears unexpectedly Their plunge of contact against the water Catches my attention but no more Of a thought should surface except to surface The stones from the depths pooling around my ankles. The rain won't drain and hasn't for months She scratches her hair but the pining never stops. I rub her ears so she'll display such an ardor Revealed in company and solitude simultaneously To be weighed and doubted and accepted and declined Beneath the stony gaze of the eyes of a god Swindling a wrinkle in the shower curtain. Alas what a shame it is Besitos aren't quite fancied here. Ne prennent pas garde aux berceaux, Que la main des femmes balance. Puesta del sol.
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Jul 26, 2013
Jul 26, 2013 at 7:52 PM UTC
Urdhva Hastasana
Growing up never comes when you expect it: It's when you realize that the suicide note under your mattress Probably has a few too many commas where semicolons should be, And a little too much emphasis on the last four years of your life- Missed due dates, flunked exams, and friendships that were supposed to be forever. It's when you figure out that the boy you spent your freshman year of college worrying about Never even knew the name of your favorite book, Or anything else that really mattered. It isn't something you can predict, or prepare for- It isn't a sudden shift of priorities that all of a sudden appear Somewhere in your subconscious, making it a lot easier to get up at 9am for a statistics class That you're inevitably going to fail. It isn't anything you do that will change, but rather A shift inside of you that slowly shakes your entire being. Youth is only beautiful until it's corrupted, By the sultry hands of time, beckoning you forward when all you ever wanted to do was hide. It slowly seeps down into the darkest corners of your mind, Swallowing up all that innocent ambition Flung upon you in the fifth grade by a board of indifferent teachers Who decided to deem you gifted, introducing you to a world of knowledge Too fascinating to mingle with the uncertainty of responsibility. There's something frightening about growing old, Maybe it's because you spent one too many hours of your childhood Pretending to be someone else- caught up in a storybook world Full of daydreams and simplicity, too one dimensional for reality. It's not that it goes away all of a sudden: all the premature doubt And impulsive wishes of death, or something like it. But rather, it takes a different form- That which was once a big red ball full of passionate emotions, Has deflated, leaving you with only a faint residue of what you used to feel. Maybe, you got your wish after all- something had to die, you know, In order for you to carry on without losing your mind. It's a sad paradox, this sequence of living, As intuition slowly deteriorates, and common sense Slinks in, in its premeditated, yet lackluster manner, And before you know it, you're not a kid anymore. Peter Pan flew the coop years ago, but Neverland still remains, A testimony to all the lost childhoods of the ones Too eager to lay their stake in the land of milk and honey.
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Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013 at 3:02 PM UTC
Milk and Honey
Growing up never comes when you expect it: It's when you realize that the suicide note under your mattress Probably has a few too many commas where semicolons should be, And a little too much emphasis on the last four years of your life- Missed due dates, flunked exams, and friendships that were supposed to be forever. It's when you figure out that the boy you spent your freshman year of college worrying about Never even knew the name of your favorite book, Or anything else that really mattered. It isn't something you can predict, or prepare for- It isn't a sudden shift of priorities that all of a sudden appear Somewhere in your subconscious, making it a lot easier to get up at 9am for a statistics class That you're inevitably going to fail. It isn't anything you do that will change, but rather A shift inside of you that slowly shakes your entire being. Youth is only beautiful until it's corrupted, By the sultry hands of time, beckoning you forward when all you ever wanted to do was hide. It slowly seeps down into the darkest corners of your mind, Swallowing up all that innocent ambition Flung upon you in the fifth grade by a board of indifferent teachers Who decided to deem you gifted, introducing you to a world of knowledge Too fascinating to mingle with the uncertainty of responsibility. There's something frightening about growing old, Maybe it's because you spent one too many hours of your childhood Pretending to be someone else- caught up in a storybook world Full of daydreams and simplicity, too one dimensional for reality. It's not that it goes away all of a sudden: all the premature doubt And impulsive wishes of death, or something like it. But rather, it takes a different form- That which was once a big red ball full of passionate emotions, Has deflated, leaving you with only a faint residue of what you used to feel. Maybe, you got your wish after all- something had to die, you know, In order for you to carry on without losing your mind. It's a sad paradox, this sequence of living, As intuition slowly deteriorates, and common sense Slinks in, in its premeditated, yet lackluster manner, And before you know it, you're not a kid anymore. Peter Pan flew the coop years ago, but Neverland still remains, A testimony to all the lost childhoods of the ones Too eager to lay their stake in the land of milk and honey.
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39
You said my fears were irrational But how do you deem irrational That which a person whom Is deeply in love with you Deems rational, How do you deem My fear of losing you Irrational? Look at us now The mess we've become We've become such a wreck A train wreck, That even the finest form of grafitti Cannot modify How do you live with yourself Knowing that you're the one Who sinked our love boat Now we're just another superstructure Consumed whole, By the unfathomable depth Of the endless sea, From the brutal storms of life We didn't foresee We cried of pain from heart fracture Is it love that you lacked Or was your sense of reasoning somewhat hacked? How do you sleep, knowing that You're the one who ripped apart The delicate petals To this precious rose of ours Perhaps you won't make it To be in the running, In the Oscars For the best actor award But you do at least, deserve a few medals Like the paraplegic athlete Oscar For the best disloyalty I confessed my fears unto you And all you could do was laugh it off You brushed the subject off As if it were a speck of dust On your shoulders Rendering your pride, a form of rust How could you have traded Unconditional love For irrefutable lust You were once my pride and joy But now a stranger you've become Another somebody, I used to know Sad part is that your presence No longer brings any joy How could you say that My fears were irrational When you fell into the same trap I warned you of How could you say That my fears were irrational When you succumbed to the spell And didn't get choked by the smell Of our burning bridge How could you just stand there And watch, while everything We've ever worked for Is burning down to dust? Look at us now. A premeditated crime scene we are No evidence left to prove how close we once were Not even a chalk outline Look at us now.
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Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 5:06 AM UTC
Irrational fears
You said my fears were irrational But how do you deem irrational That which a person whom Is deeply in love with you Deems rational, How do you deem My fear of losing you Irrational? Look at us now The mess we've become We've become such a wreck A train wreck, That even the finest form of grafitti Cannot modify How do you live with yourself Knowing that you're the one Who sinked our love boat Now we're just another superstructure Consumed whole, By the unfathomable depth Of the endless sea, From the brutal storms of life We didn't foresee We cried of pain from heart fracture Is it love that you lacked Or was your sense of reasoning somewhat hacked? How do you sleep, knowing that You're the one who ripped apart The delicate petals To this precious rose of ours Perhaps you won't make it To be in the running, In the Oscars For the best actor award But you do at least, deserve a few medals Like the paraplegic athlete Oscar For the best disloyalty I confessed my fears unto you And all you could do was laugh it off You brushed the subject off As if it were a speck of dust On your shoulders Rendering your pride, a form of rust How could you have traded Unconditional love For irrefutable lust You were once my pride and joy But now a stranger you've become Another somebody, I used to know Sad part is that your presence No longer brings any joy How could you say that My fears were irrational When you fell into the same trap I warned you of How could you say That my fears were irrational When you succumbed to the spell And didn't get choked by the smell Of our burning bridge How could you just stand there And watch, while everything We've ever worked for Is burning down to dust? Look at us now. A premeditated crime scene we are No evidence left to prove how close we once were Not even a chalk outline Look at us now.
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69
I woke up very early this morning, restless and bothered, itchy for the day to happen. As dawn broke orange, the city was revealed. I’ll never get tired of watching that. The snow was gone but a gloss over the city streets indicated ice. I scanned the landscape for movement - for life - like a predator. Lisa and I are headed back to school today, at 11am, by air, which our parents feel is the best way to avoid our old, holiday nemesis omicron (doesn’t that make us sound like secret agents?). Once everyone was finally up, Lisa and I got our busy-on, doing the last load of laundry and final packing. Lisa, packs a suitcase, by throwing clothes in without bothering to fold them, while I meticulously fold and roll my clothes, like a marine headed for deployment. As Lisa and I worked, Leeza (12) was lying on Lisa’s bed, on her back with her head hanging over the edge - watching us pack upside down. Her red hair looked like a thrown plate of spaghetti. Leeza was talk, talk, talking and gnawing on a toasted bagel at the same time. “How do you feel about going back to school?” she asked us. “OH, feelings!” I gasped, “A free therapy session!” “No, really,” she said, grown serious and rolling right side up. Leeza is cute as a button and vulnerable - I could almost feel her anxiety. As the youngest sibling I’d been left behind too - you don’t want the holiday to end and your big sister to leave - it’s a singularly lonesome feeling. I wanted to grab her, like a puppy, wrestle her and tell her I love her and I’d miss her - like my sister used to do with me. I decided that as soon as we were done packing, I would. “My GOD,” Lisa said to Leeza, “will you PLEASE shut up! I have to think.” Leeza blushed and shrugged “I’m just making conversation, grump-face, you’ve packed a million times before haven’t you?” “Does counting to 10 make ****** premeditated?” Lisa asked the ceiling. Suddenly, Lisa dropped the blouse she’d been holding and pounced on Leeza, tickling her as she squealed with delight. In a second they’d become a ball of flailing arms, legs, hair and playful noise. I slunk out of the room to give them their sister’s goodbye. Besides, I smelled bacon.
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Jan 14, 2022
Jan 14, 2022 at 9:19 AM UTC
going, going...
I woke up very early this morning, restless and bothered, itchy for the day to happen. As dawn broke orange, the city was revealed. I’ll never get tired of watching that. The snow was gone but a gloss over the city streets indicated ice. I scanned the landscape for movement - for life - like a predator. Lisa and I are headed back to school today, at 11am, by air, which our parents feel is the best way to avoid our old, holiday nemesis omicron (doesn’t that make us sound like secret agents?). Once everyone was finally up, Lisa and I got our busy-on, doing the last load of laundry and final packing. Lisa, packs a suitcase, by throwing clothes in without bothering to fold them, while I meticulously fold and roll my clothes, like a marine headed for deployment. As Lisa and I worked, Leeza (12) was lying on Lisa’s bed, on her back with her head hanging over the edge - watching us pack upside down. Her red hair looked like a thrown plate of spaghetti. Leeza was talk, talk, talking and gnawing on a toasted bagel at the same time. “How do you feel about going back to school?” she asked us. “OH, feelings!” I gasped, “A free therapy session!” “No, really,” she said, grown serious and rolling right side up. Leeza is cute as a button and vulnerable - I could almost feel her anxiety. As the youngest sibling I’d been left behind too - you don’t want the holiday to end and your big sister to leave - it’s a singularly lonesome feeling. I wanted to grab her, like a puppy, wrestle her and tell her I love her and I’d miss her - like my sister used to do with me. I decided that as soon as we were done packing, I would. “My GOD,” Lisa said to Leeza, “will you PLEASE shut up! I have to think.” Leeza blushed and shrugged “I’m just making conversation, grump-face, you’ve packed a million times before haven’t you?” “Does counting to 10 make ****** premeditated?” Lisa asked the ceiling. Suddenly, Lisa dropped the blouse she’d been holding and pounced on Leeza, tickling her as she squealed with delight. In a second they’d become a ball of flailing arms, legs, hair and playful noise. I slunk out of the room to give them their sister’s goodbye. Besides, I smelled bacon.
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My hands above my head, I grasp for purpose, and pull the Sun to my chest. Circles become arbitrary. Squares, the cousins of rectangles are discredited as man-made. That's why metaphors known as squares are seen as vulnerable shapes in a misunderstood spectrum. They are dotted lines dependent on right angles, left ashtray to explain anomalies. So for order we justify lines. We contain music within them. Until, of course, the Holy Ghost is found. Because that strike against the canvas is thought to be premeditated. But that isn't human nature. That isn't God. It will only become recorded notes on a page. It's retrospect. A future remembrance of the past. It's the Sun in your heart, knowing that containing that kind of energy is hazardous to your health.
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Jun 8, 2017
Jun 8, 2017 at 10:55 PM UTC
Universal Music
There's a peculiar feeling about emptiness. Like hundreds of misshapen rocks Have all been carelessly dumped Into the cavity which should hold My red, pulsing heart. It's not obnoxious Or tangible, But it lurks somewhere right beyond I love you And I miss you And I don't care. Like termites slowly devouring An old pewter coffee table Left on the corner in front of a tall Decaying townhouse. The legs slowly deteriorate, Revealing their soft fleshy wooden insides. There's no warning sign for this kind of Isolation. No tell tale symptoms Or home made remedies Of honey and camomile. Flashing neon lights Flicker and fade into the Heavy night. And symmetrical posters Don't illuminate the pathway to loneliness like they should. Instead, It just creeps up on you when you're least expecting it, Between casual conversations And vulnerable moments of passion. You can't stop it, Or push it into a corner The way you can with guilt And premeditated promises. It's too disfigured to be shut away in a symmetrical closet Or empty dining room. It's the absence of understanding, The congested feeling in your lungs And heart And stomach, That comes when you suddenly realize No one understands. It's unpredictable in that way, The sudden realization, There's no telling when it will spring upon an unexpecting moment, And devour the innocence of longing. But when it happens, When your whole world feels frozen, Stagnant and stuck between the cracks of reality, And covered with a thin veil of dust And failure, When your throat is dry and chalky, Full of almost there sentences That dance in the chaos of your desperation, You'll know.
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Sep 20, 2012
Sep 20, 2012 at 11:57 AM UTC
You'll know
There's a peculiar feeling about emptiness. Like hundreds of misshapen rocks Have all been carelessly dumped Into the cavity which should hold My red, pulsing heart. It's not obnoxious Or tangible, But it lurks somewhere right beyond I love you And I miss you And I don't care. Like termites slowly devouring An old pewter coffee table Left on the corner in front of a tall Decaying townhouse. The legs slowly deteriorate, Revealing their soft fleshy wooden insides. There's no warning sign for this kind of Isolation. No tell tale symptoms Or home made remedies Of honey and camomile. Flashing neon lights Flicker and fade into the Heavy night. And symmetrical posters Don't illuminate the pathway to loneliness like they should. Instead, It just creeps up on you when you're least expecting it, Between casual conversations And vulnerable moments of passion. You can't stop it, Or push it into a corner The way you can with guilt And premeditated promises. It's too disfigured to be shut away in a symmetrical closet Or empty dining room. It's the absence of understanding, The congested feeling in your lungs And heart And stomach, That comes when you suddenly realize No one understands. It's unpredictable in that way, The sudden realization, There's no telling when it will spring upon an unexpecting moment, And devour the innocence of longing. But when it happens, When your whole world feels frozen, Stagnant and stuck between the cracks of reality, And covered with a thin veil of dust And failure, When your throat is dry and chalky, Full of almost there sentences That dance in the chaos of your desperation, You'll know.
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I Bounced Back, From Being Attacked, I've Gotten Letters In My Mailbox, Evolopes Onyx Black, I've Cried Myself To Sleep, I've Lost Sanity, But I Bounced Back I Bounced Back, From Being Hated, From Being Degraded, So Close To Being Disintegrated, It Was ****** Premeditated, But I Bouced Back I Bounced Back, From Falling On My Face, From Being Called A Disgrace, From Being An Outcast Of The Human Race, Inside My Veins Swims Emence Strength, Because I Bounced Back I Bounced Back, From Blood Which Dripped, Secrets Which Slipped, My Heartbeat Tripped, My Throat Was Being Gripped, I Jumped Into The Ocean Just For A Dip, That's When The Sharks Came And I Got Bit, But Yet, I Bounced Back I'm Sure If People Knew, They'd See How Much We Grew, And As If On Cue, They'd Have Respect For Me And You, And If They Had A Clue, They'd Realize Our Strength 2 Preserver Through, It's Hard To Paint A Master Peice, With Our Colorless Hue, Our Hearts Are Held Together With Super Glue, Thoughts Askew, But Me And You, We're The Strongest Ones They'll Try To Cut Into, Because We Bounced Back
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Sep 17, 2012
Sep 17, 2012 at 8:33 AM UTC
I Bounced Back
why do you insist on calling this a rose when we all know its really a thorn and why do you stay in this room when all you want is a tree Sometimes, its nice to know that crying in the dark is the same as crying in the day but sometimes i feel like we should crawl on our knees and beg for forgiveness not from 'the big man up in the sky' but from a garden that we've forgotten about i mean, which one really has more power?
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Mar 1, 2014
Mar 1, 2014 at 9:33 PM UTC
active, premeditated plans to **** The deity
IV. Isaiah If ever on the moors in seeking Zarephath she faltered— White of gossamer and lamb— And the well in running over Colored bloodred clay Lapis Lazuli, sweetened to dewpoint As for what it meant To those that saw and waited Prophets and disciples of an Instant; bear witness to the World reborn (not premeditated) At muddy dawn in unloved scrubland plots Subsequent to love running sacred between The pages of an unloved tome, a fissure What is a truth? Could I reach out And touch you? What holds your heart, Elijah? Who can you see beneath the glass Who stares back from the bottom of a raindrop Flashing past before convening With the ground? Did you know, my dear, I stem from the disillusionment of ground And the resurrecting of fraught winter Sky? Did you know, I am alive and dying to go, now, To arise from Pelas and walk free in sun again? I want to love the rain So that it knows I want to lavish love upon your Lips, your hands, Your neck that holds Your temples, the gaps between Your ribs, and vertebrae, and 50 billion stars
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Dec 28, 2018
Dec 28, 2018 at 1:01 AM UTC
14.12.18 - excerpt from draft of "Letters to Saints and Prophets"
It all started So light, Until I heard A voice barely say, “Welcome to the Dark Fairy Tale, Run for your life." Then these thoughts Crossed my mind, The warning signs Were all there, I should have turned Back at the masquerade ball; Pulled off the mask, Face revealed, Smell of her Perfume in Your hair. Kept the truth Locked up with Gingerbread And sparkle dust, "Love." Trapped In a toxic tale; Couldn't sleep, The Gothic prince Took my hand So charmingly, And said, "Come with me..." He spun me round' and Swept me off my feet, Until I fell to the Floor and couldn't See. Cinderella Dream; Coated with Candy Cream, It was all fun and games, Until I realized his Premeditated plans To take away All the best parts Of me. Poison apple Portrayal Forever Frozen in Glass frame Would be An unlikely Ending.
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Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018 at 11:49 PM UTC
Dark Fairy Tale
Hello Dear Friend,          It’s been a while since I’ve wrote you. Woes of lost friendship must have driven me here, in fear of other lanes that is, to this letter. Laughter and joy has been had, them in lieu of you. Ewes can ape wolves, as you’ve seen in three years prior, the choir sang the same triad, this time quiet. Quite sad— I know, but I’ve spoken enough on me, for thee I am writing, and to thee I now write: You must have been busy bringing joy to the world; or joy to a world, of one I’ve met never. Another basis, wherefore, I stop this stasis of silence. We’ll needn’t recall to remember, for like the migrants of nature, nothing has changed— only the season, or maybe just the weather— regardless, the moral stands as thus: History has shown those of the same feather flock together; so, as such, we do not lose time in relearning quirks or behaviors—innate powers take over Then, again, the inane behavior shall ensue. Fluid synchronization of minds—now union— is source to the river highly known for knowledge. Dialogue sows the seeds, such that comprehension of grand ideas, which sprout like fruit at the Lethe, can be harvested to feed the minds of others. Thoughts that they found too puerile, we now encounter regularly, and never have we thought to laugh at any one. Instead we laugh coyly, as we discuss things of great measure absentmindedly. The weight of measure felt by us knows few others— wherefore, I ask: what deserves merit? But One knows, and those answers lie in the minds of the many. But here I must stop, for I, quite abashedly, feel your response to this notion has bearing on the rest of my premeditated first letter. With Godspeed I send this, in hopes—with haste, you’ll read and respond. At last a new dialogue begins. Remember: those who look— will find,        Your Dearest Friend
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Apr 21, 2012
Apr 21, 2012 at 2:17 AM UTC
Hello Dear Friend
Hello Dear Friend,          It’s been a while since I’ve wrote you. Woes of lost friendship must have driven me here, in fear of other lanes that is, to this letter. Laughter and joy has been had, them in lieu of you. Ewes can ape wolves, as you’ve seen in three years prior, the choir sang the same triad, this time quiet. Quite sad— I know, but I’ve spoken enough on me, for thee I am writing, and to thee I now write: You must have been busy bringing joy to the world; or joy to a world, of one I’ve met never. Another basis, wherefore, I stop this stasis of silence. We’ll needn’t recall to remember, for like the migrants of nature, nothing has changed— only the season, or maybe just the weather— regardless, the moral stands as thus: History has shown those of the same feather flock together; so, as such, we do not lose time in relearning quirks or behaviors—innate powers take over Then, again, the inane behavior shall ensue. Fluid synchronization of minds—now union— is source to the river highly known for knowledge. Dialogue sows the seeds, such that comprehension of grand ideas, which sprout like fruit at the Lethe, can be harvested to feed the minds of others. Thoughts that they found too puerile, we now encounter regularly, and never have we thought to laugh at any one. Instead we laugh coyly, as we discuss things of great measure absentmindedly. The weight of measure felt by us knows few others— wherefore, I ask: what deserves merit? But One knows, and those answers lie in the minds of the many. But here I must stop, for I, quite abashedly, feel your response to this notion has bearing on the rest of my premeditated first letter. With Godspeed I send this, in hopes—with haste, you’ll read and respond. At last a new dialogue begins. Remember: those who look— will find,        Your Dearest Friend
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