A dictionary of words
Thousands---infinites!
Little marks to describe a vast world
Lest not care of lacking logic
Aroused by imagination is my magic
Lemon zests the cornucopia of citrus
Are not they a splash of kalopsa?
Charisma, karma, euphoria?
Not allowed to bleed in blanc
Wail in rosy franc
Puddles of messed reflection
Fictions wonder reaction
Wander in the wildest wilderness
Describe the autumn, fall
Moist, solitary
Fawn on the lawn
Reality is the contrary
Refuge in the creamed sugar
Like a cup of iced kiss
Deep burrowed in the mapled hiss
Wait for its marmalade bliss
Head exploding in fireworks
Magnificent, what about nightfall?
Showers and streaks befall
Stars shoot smoke of ball
Cry tears of meteorites
Sprinkle the blinking sprites
Flow streams of sparkling silence
Swim the chasing glares
Enchant me in your chemise, evangelic skin
Leitmotif of mimes' maim, mean?
Speculate the pixelled fairies
Hide in the fruits of Alice
Spark at the dance of hands
Paint the faint trees
Baskets of floating sheep
Bounce in the enigmatic realm
Drooling in
As they transgress the egress
In chiffon blush flushed
Bittersweet caress
Bare grasslands with strangers
Wet the glory shine
Morning then hoots for sleep
Shush, weeping willows
Flowers of your scent hover the grove
Voices sweetly surrender
Linger for tender
Gloam or roam
River of innocence soul
Reaping the afterglow
Aglow my fountained lockes
Blur for it to be clearer
Illusions of ambiguity
As its lips meet the prism
Of brilliant optimism
Breathtaking fauvism
Breathless onism
Succumb in the limitless reverie
Rare of not having aneurysm
Persephone's persepolis
Blood of perenelia
Where Opheus court Eurydice
Winter solace holies
Lakes of beating lights
Bloom irregularly
As the sesquipedalian crawl out from its vine
In the Brobdingnagian it creeps
Line between sublime and wine
Harmony weave in palette
Rhythm rose from my red
Fresh breeze hush the roulette
Leaves blade the crafted well-made
Dusk, dawn to diiferentiate
Eclipse the hysteria and the impeccable
Love waltz
Glide the glistened clarity
Perfume lilies
Stares of lavenders
Rain the clouds of keys
Crystallizing and fractalizing
Mesmerize, astonish, aghast!
Rise your mile
Fragile my rile
Bridge this moonlit immeasurable, fantasia distance
Repertoire of piano choir
Luxury in the polychrome noir
Royal in the loyal wintermelon
Poppies color the spring
Butterflies fly in the effervescence
My painting sings a summer fling
Jump in the pantones
Rest your all
Stones amble swish scone
Wishes twinkle then hone
Will-o-wisps chill your bone
Lend me a wing
Let not be done in a ding
What I fear, free from the fringes of meek
My, this lexicon is not enough!
How to occupy the million, jillion, eternal galaxies
Shout in the rave
Echoing in the waves
Marvel at the bejewelled revel
Image my imagery
Oh, dive away child!
Let us drive in the garden of glaze
Careful not to be too amazed in the maze
In the hummed woodglade
As the critters flutter and flute
No way to chain me out of this loop
Pool of pretty astonishments
Diamonds of nature
Endure, not inure
Words alone are insufficient
These are just mere fantasies
Some are unexplainable
Some needs to be felt
Some needs to be seen
Not just read
Not just dreamt
I may sound dubious
But this is incredulous

Above my home where the dark clouds
curl into the sky clinging for a home to
rest their sleepy depiction, shadowed
trees hum sweet lullabies, lonely leaves
breathe in the sad song of fallen dimensions,
letting its lifeless view roll upon their frame,
the chilled breeze sailing in the skyline,
as I scramble my way out of a filthy dumpster,
a mountain of disintegrating mess covering
my broken body, hovering flies surrounding
sticky strips of spaghetti, moldy mashed potatoes,
and moldy chicken *** pies, while my mind sunk
into traveled thoughts, bruised hands pressed against
the creases in my forehead, allowing my existence
to feel the stranded scars streaming in various mazes,
dull eyes flushed with a burning disorder, aching cheeks
and chests nestled in darkening chamber corners, buried
hips and thighs uprooting in somber blades of grass,
thorned, torn, and destroyed in different worlds.  As I stood
on the slippery pavement staring at the ruffled scenery
in my sight, spinning streetlights thickening into slouched
positions, screaming sidewalks spilling sadness and madness
in the drenched air, razor-edged buildings inching into crushed
centimeters, jumbled meters, ****** yards.  I replayed the sober
images in my head, the way my young brown-skinned mom said
I would never amount to anything, how I could hear the raged
noun ****** sift into the distance, its flaming mechanics
accelerating into screeching sounds, the way she hurled
her fists at my smashed face, every vibrant language
breaking apart, slamming shut into closed infinites,
snagged contractions and gerunds diverging into
shuddering double spaced negatives, the way she threw
my lingering body inside the trash dumpster, her sharp
scarlet words, You are no son of mine, ricocheting off
savage surfaces, sparking my soul in a calamity
of choking diction.

your hair smells like brimstone
in my memories that swirl under the pale streetlight
and in the reflective shards fogged over by our words

swollen overripe sicksweet mangoes

colors are more than the sway of hips
or a glint in the eyes laced with starbursts
and a face contains no infinites

i remember the smoky silence

drowned in fiction

926

Patience—has a quiet Outer—
Patience—Look within—
Is an Insect’s futile forces
Infinites—between—

‘Scaping one—against the other
Fruitlesser to fling—
Patience—is the Smile’s exertion
Through the quivering—

“She who has infused every minute of my day,
Hastens through titillating my endorphins.
Absconded hiding within myself,  
As blue crystals glaring teeter in the sea,

As we sanction the reticence of ardor,
While the sea eradicates its perennial effigy,
As infinite cascades eradicate beneath us,
As the water stride procures to the sandy shore,

Where the waves shatter on unsettled rocks,
As once again the clear light bursts as sun sets,
Enmeshed in a fabric of palpable vibrant colors,
Portrayed as that of a burlesque plumeria of infinites,                  

The plumeria burst of aureoles immortal love,
Unyielding its pedals as the devouring sea rotates,
Will ephemeral demise procure in the deep blue sea?
Over its blue pedaled face an astringent frown,

We have embarked on a promenade of love my dear,
I now stand before you no longer with emptiness,
Only perennial affection that you are mine and I yours,
       In our Aureoles of Plumeria”  
By AG 03/10/2018 ©

458

Like eyes that looked on Wastes—
Incredulous of Ought
But Blank—and steady Wilderness—
Diversified by Night—

Just Infinites of Nought—
As far as it could see—
So looked the face I looked upon—
So looked itself—on Me—

I offered it no Help—
Because the Cause was Mine—
The Misery a Compact
As hopeless—as divine—

Neither—would be absolved—
Neither would be a Queen
Without the Other—Therefore—
We perish—tho’ We reign—

"Infinity" What comes into your mind?

Some say they see gray hair, rocking chairs and old worn-out clothes.
Some would say they'd hear church bells, vows, they'd see rings.
Some say they see it through the eyes of a mother, conceiving an unborn child.
Some say they see it in stars, so wide, so vast, so distant, immeasurable. Too far.
Some see it in uncertain future time.

But when asked, "What do you see in infinity?"
I'd smile and answer.  

"I see cold coffees, I see dinner dates, I see your smile, I hear our laughs, I hear our favorite songs and I once again feel that impalpable comfort I find in your voice.
But,
I also hear your good-byes, I hear your costant apologies, I hear my muffled cries in the middle if the night and I see those unsent letters I should've given you a long, long time ago."

Sad but true. That's what I see. But maybe, that was our own infinity.

Maybe some infinities aren't just as beautiful and worth telling as others,

Maybe some infinites are larger than other infinities,

Maybe ours lingered on the corners of that restaurant where we met and stayed on that streetside where you left,

Maybe our infinity, ended a long time ago, long before we decided to let it go,

Maybe your infinity and mine meant to go on parallel lines,

But, maybe infinities aren't meant to last, cause maybe true infinity comes when you don't have to question "How long" but "How real"

ever since
that brightest of lights
birthed the universe
and all that it holds
our particles have
been striving through
all that is known
of space and time
through countless changes
of form and matter
through our unknown infinities
amidst the infinites known
through beliefs and disbeliefs
uncertainties and doubts
falling continuously
in the path of our orbits
endlessly we will travail
entrained to reunite
with our eternal partner
separated only temporally
impeded by the superlunary
seemingly fated from beyond
the gravity of this mystic tie
binds all sempiternally
and we will be found
one in the other

I am trapped
Halfway to heaven, infinites upon infinities disguised as stars.

I just want to feel like I’m more than the dark and empty space between them.

as i grow my waist line
and tiredness yawns
over all the to-do's
and the days going by
add infinites of idontgiveashit

one thing i know for sure

this lover i did not kiss
this embrace i could not reach
this charm in that unbreakable mirror

will be the only story
i'll believe to have lived

and in the stupor of the decadents
i will be smiling
i
me
as he would have seen me
if it could have been

the horizon
claims its mortality
by consuming the sun,
the sky
pronounces its existence
by littering stars,

bound by no one
two infinites collide
ear-marking the spread of time
on a time sheet,

with grids and figures
and algorithms,
innocuously designed
to measure oblivion
set lucidly aside.

she poured brown sugar on top. talked but refused to speak. that.  was her last inhale.  cigars ordained the fountain    and the blue irises diluted.  i expected to see drops.   the ends shriveled up.
    
but we swigged godiva
      
     she said:                                                        
sunday we’ll go to the beach

    i laugh     at first
          the open air was all legs and armpits
          i casually held my palms to my nose
     wine to drown the stench
    
she chatted in infinites


there was only a small bustle. thirteen o’ clock. the canvases were pulled back.  always some glass in our hands. the horses didn’t care, in fact, let us stroke their noses. i still wonder  what they patrolled. we kept drinking.  passed out in a public park.

    i said
    it’ll be concrete jungles
friendship forgotten



                               she woke with leaves                                                           ­ 
                   at her temples    in her tear ducts.
                                                          ­ i typed it
                                                           l e a v e s
              
            
*seen by all

THE UNDEFINED POEM

              I ask you ask they ask
            We ask the same questions
       And we demand the same answers
     But how can we demand for answers
                        From whom
               We are dust in the wind
             And shadows in the desert
       And words in an undefined poem
      We don’t understand his language
         We don’t understand his rhyme
         We don’t understand his rhythm
           But we suppose must sing it
               We must scream with it
       We must scream for life and light
                   And for light in life
   Its difficult for a common people like  
       everyone of us
   to elevate in the sky with this poem
but its difficult also to elevate in the sky
           without this poem
                     The eternal flame
                     The eternal fog
                  The eternal everything
                  The eternal nothing
         “I am not sure about what I say
          But I speak that’s for sure”
  These are words of this undefined poem
      The poem speak I speak you speak    
                  everybody speaks
  the poetry of ignorance or the ignorance  
        of poetry
         No rules just delays and various
           Meanings
    The poem is undefined and infinite
                  The problem is
  That all of us as words of this poem
                  We are not infinites
       So the poem goes on without us…

             CHRISTOS HARATSARIS
                             POET
                    ATHENS-GREECE

She kisses me as if I am her prized scotch stained leatherback book
There isn’t enough writing in the lines of my pages
no footnotes in this decree of insanity
repetition throbbing as if asphyxiation is
tattooed across my esophagus
only to resuscitate every apology I’ve choked on
too stuck on the goodbye in between my teeth
she tells me that my spine reminds her
of the ripples in a pond during a year long drought
there isn’t enough water in the shallow puddle of my soul
to pour anything into her cup
she breaks her knees crawling away to another solution for her thirst
she is driving on the highway passing every carcass
of previous versions of herself i fell in love with
i’ve been too busy chewing on her back tires
attempting to slow down the roaring engine
my ears are bleeding from every time
she laughs at another boy’s sense of humor
I am too caught up bringing down the skeletons in my closet
that have decided to hang themselves
their nooses are wrapped in every metaphor I have ever written
she is busy grinding my ego into a line for inhalation
getting high on my fault lines has always been a pastime for her
no baseball archive of happiness in her smile
only the hesitation before every time her lips crease like
a subpoena to an AA meeting that you can never leave
I attempted to soak every “I love you” I have ever dared whisper
into the nape of her neck
a spiraling contusion that is a novelist’s ****** desire
she is choking on every slammed doorway
she never had the courage to walk out of
she dreams of diving off of parking garages
to swim in the lucid concrete
she is convinced she is nothing short of a sore jaw
the bruxism caused from chewing on every
roadside cross written in memory of her
my fingers haven’t stopped bleeding as I continue to try
to fill every ******* scotched stained leatherback book
in the library that is my love for her
so while there may be short infinites
I will  write too many of them for the both of us to count.

and there was a feeling -
a glowing in her chest,
a blooming nurtured by music,
an energy lulled by rest.

it moves through all things,
this pervading catharsis -
you may find it in the cracks,
or the things on your list.

as for her, she found it
on a road to nowhere -
one of a million infinites,
too heavy for her to bear.

she could no longer move the thing,
for hindered by her own weight was she.
she held in her chest a heavy heart,
dry heaving her way to her heaven to be.

and that was when she realized,
as the wind lifted her chin -
infinite is only as big as infinite is,
until infinite comes crashing in.

"what's left of me then?"
she sighed to herself.
and then the wind whispered, humble and true.
"what's left of you is still the very you."

"you may be the girl who has never won
after staring cruel despair in the face.
you may be on a million roads to nowhere,
but this is just the start of your race."

"the you who your mother cradled in her breast,
the you who looks at the world with wonder,
the you with color in her eyes and flowers in her smile,
who thinks light can be both a question mark and an answer."

a smile slowly began to set on her face,
subtly at first, then shining through her skin.
she no longer feared and fed on anxiety;
she felt stronger than she'd ever been.

soon she let go of what was no longer there,
and slowly she learnt to no longer despair.
with an open mind and a heart so true,
she began her journey into the blue.

and the pain says, “i have come for you.”
and in your heart you know it’s true // how could you possibly ever recover from this? and you say, “you are too blinding// i don’t want to look.”
but you can // stare lady death straight in the eyes and take away her power.
“you cannot hurt me // i am lighter than air.” but you see // she can (because you’re dying, my friend) but instead she will kiss you instead of stab you // because death takes mercy not on the strong but the intellectual // and if you understand you are free.

your soul is a wall of pain // folding in on itself // your perfectly numbered reality slipping away.

and death says, “i have mercy and i have fire.” you pick fire, for the flames in your chest and the flames in your head // turning your heart to ashes.

your soul is a wall of thorns. the pain says “what can i do for you?” and all you want it to do is take you, take you instead. but you do not say that // because death has no power and your hands are your own.

you say “nothing. this is a dream from which i know i will wake.” // your heart is a wall of storm clouds, and the thunder offers to lend you its strength. instead, you lend your shoulders // and your hands.

life shivers // melts // moves on (and it continues without us.) and the pain says “i have come for you.” in the heart wherim a strangers words lurk // a conquered promise of more time lies // not of comfort but hope (and you learn to understand the aching of your body.)

stars are lost to deep space, and caught in the obliviousness of it continues to fade. and in one thousand years she will walk the place where mother nature has taken back your bones // and you will understand.

but we will never understand death // because within each lifetime, each year, each day, each breath granted we are taunting her // asking for her to come shrink our infinites to nothing.

and it is this affliction that shows us nothing is born of soil and space // that the leisure of thought cannot conquer her.
when you die // you escape this laybrinth of suffering (which is the reason for death, the kindest angel of them all)

and you look to this all encompassing pain // and say “yes. let us embrace as equals.”

I want perennial infinites in
finished sentences. An understanding
of some certainty. But promises
promise only the opposite.
The ends of thoughts tell me
to only trust the unuttered
letters and not what it lends
to voice because
human touch only destroys
and dissolves, like snow
on your skin. The one thing I
am perennially missing.

Like the waves fiddling with the shore
A distant past often reaches out
Bringing back the memories of
A time once cherished, a time now lost

Like the constant ebbs and flows
A face emerges and gently recedes
Brings along a craving for the unknown
And takes away all the heart's content

Like the sea is home to the turbulent waters
A chaos echoes within the consciousness
And yet the necessity for survival
Would not let these tremors die down

Like the horizon, where two infinites meet
The past seems within an arm's reach
The sailor always curious, never complacent
Often forgets that appearances can be deceiving

Dark.
Quiet, quite.
The fan blows cool air on my skin.
Cats yowl nearby, the shuffling of cat litter
Makes sounds like oceans waves,
or so thought Mr Crick.

This is the witching hour.
310 and the mind starts to wonder,
Screens flicker, thoughts bicker.
314 and other transcendental numbers,
Infinites and clocks and super-tasks.
315 and the demons rise from the red room
Existing only in minds and movies.

Surely this is nearing the time that
I last rose from slumber
All those nights ago and begged for forgiveness
Metres from sleeping bodies?
Did I see it then?
Do I trust them?

I wonder still.
The chromosome lights
Flash like neon signs
Briefly spelling out notes
With no context or chronology.
Cats, Pi, oceans, light, ***, but only in passing.
Every seven seconds is surely impossible.
Pink elephants she told me not to think about.

So random. No context.
Nonsense without meter or rhyme.
Is it the point? Maybe.
It doesn't to anybody except me.
And when I die I will take all meaning
And leave none
For you will have to make your own
Like everybody else.
Like I did.

Are we alone?

When I was young had a lot of trials, Faked Smiles.
Pretend everything was fine, Denial.
Growing old drive a lot of miles, Have Style, Argyles.
Nah, but I wear a lot of sweaters, act better.
Dreaming bigger dreams, seeing better things.
But still my parents are apart of me, partially.
She loves he and they become we, he and she.
Forever with me plus three. But that's not reality.
I dream of bigger infinites.
The Faults were in their stars, not ours.
I get it, Families split, grow apart.
Keep her close through the arts.
Ma and me, no heart to hearts.
Dont get too close because I'm too smart.
Dont get me wrong, my loves strong.
But the drives long and thats whats wrong.
And shes like Cheech and Chong. So Gone. Now Im Gone.

i feel (body)
the way it
between my hands

performs the youth thing: life. The

                   uncouth thing, life. The

body way it
needs between hands
its.

the inexorable flinchless hurt of its marching finitely
--into bruises of hands--
its own hands.

that they might make
,by the coming together of palms

,a softness more supple than sleep
(a finite more extending than

                                    infinites deep,

Your heart is trapped in the cold and the numb
Behind a wall inside of you of impossible heights
I have seen these things behind your eyes
Your eyes of infinite tears of salt and oceans blue
Your pain painted with brush strokes
Mixed with the colors of lunacy and magic
Swirling like stars of Van Gogh
This is where and how I learned to love you
Fall madly for you
Devote my heart and soul to you
And only you
Your eyes lead me into the mouth and madness
Of my own heart and soul
Showed me the true reflection of my love and spirit
Never before had love bloomed more wildly and lovely
Never before had there been such a garden inside me
Never had the flowers swayed and sung so merrily
I had known both love and madness before
But never had I known or been so madly in love
Never so perfectly connected to my inner being
Never felt the harmony of the universes heart beat in sync with my own

Here...

Lost in the paint and magic of  your eyes
And the pain and ache of your soul
The hopes and dreams of your heart
All your perfectly beautiful frailties
Here in your shrouded darkness
I found your light
And in your light I found
A touch of unknown delicacy
A color unkown to mortal eyes
An exquisite madness
And I found the lost truths of love
Whispered and shouted
Dancing and twisting
Entwining with my blood and marrow
Lifting the lost and dead pieces of both my heart and soul
The unknown secrets of life and joy pulsing throughout me
Bringing me whole and making me complete
I have become part of something more
Than life and death
Than love and sorrow
Than suns and moons
I have become the freedom
Of the sins of angel and beast
Of the beginning and end of time
Of heaven and hell

I want to be tied to your bed
To keep the monsters beneath
And the devil out
I want to be chained to your wall
To always be bound inside with you
And to help tear it down
I want to be buried in your heart
To keep its flow and pulse forever warm
I want to be the war of the wind
To blow away the coulds
And **** the rains of doubt
Let me live and love you
From within your darkness
And by your side
I will always be yours
Even if you will never
Be mine
I cannot stop my fall
And love for you
I cannot control
This fate anymore than I could willingly stop
My heart from beating
And my heart
Will beat for you
Past the decay of my bones and flesh
Past the ends of the world
Past the broken ticks of time
My heart and my love
Always set
Always rise
Over infinites horizon
Singing for you
And only you

The lighting was dim
Blue and purple flickers of them
And she's got him writing again
Fighting against the lion within
Thought he triumphed but she isn't convinced


Writing again, writing against time and my
Highest of sins, lied while spitting sighs
Under my breath like thunder she crumpled again
Again but against missing, fistful of quarters
I've been wishing i can fix this with kissing
Bed making and hand holding and stove cooking
She loved again and I was against infinites
Two years late to a wedding picture by a kitchenette
Two years too late, too sorry, too much to forgive
I'm writing again. Fighting against who I have been
So you can look me in the eye and say you love me again

I bought a book of Escher prints
So I could study infinites
and reflect subtle sentiments
Against these paper dolls.

To find the rhyme where reason ends.
To see where disbelief suspends.
Connect the dots and spot the trends.
The lines define us all.

Now here we are outside of space.
Where thoughts create our sense of place.
Realities we’d often chase
Are drifting out of view.

We’ll make each piece a perfect fit.
A world we’ll  build inside of it.
Filled with oceans, platforms, pits.
Existing somewhere new.

Memories, dreams, and starry nights.
Jarring spectacles of light.
Sirens donning masks of white.
In hopes you’ll do the same.

The journey we will start tomorrow.
Hope that there’s some paths to borrow.
Dance the laughter sing the sorrow.
Start another game.

Let us put the seconds to sleep, for a timeless time
And sit together and whisper in eachother's ears, about the dreams we never saw
And drink tea and talk about our childish desires and oldish regrets
Let us put the seconds to sleep so that we would not hear the time passing
And so that our spirits could dance freely in the infinites of love and existence, with no fear
Let us put the seconds to sleep and then stay up forever
Hush! Don't wake them up

You are the movement of ******
in a ******’s body– muffled innards aghast
under dim light, crooked spoons stalling
the atom’s speed to a cigarette drag.
If you’ve come to meet the woman
she is cloud now, a sprout of white melting
into the blues, the infinites--body forgotten
in the wastes of heaven.

everytime a new piece of me is found after much digging
i grieve for all the forms i simply cannot be.

for the almost boy who thought he could be anything,
the harsher truth is found in relinquishing infinites.

i am but a sum of pieces, moving around, evolving,
yet also the difference of all that doesnt make me.

my ***** hands which loathe doors that must stay locked,
they too shall never know peace, shall always hold grief.

“Always
was,
always
will be.”
Universe
within
multiverse.
Multiverse
within
infinity.
Neve­r ending
cycle.
Universes
begetting
universes.
Being born,
fading away.
Infinities
begetting
infinites.
Never ending.
Process,
by definition
infinite
in nature.
Time
irrelevant
no meaning.
Has no
standing.
“Always
was,
always
will be.”
Simply
the nature
of things.
No beginning
no end.
Beyond
human
cognition.
The finite
cannot
fathom
the infinite.

Oh love,
I am not my silhouette,
In me lies seas of the infinites love,
How can I not ponder on the grandness of it all?
I am not yet ready to be given a shroud.
-L.D.