Fall: A double meaning. It was only autumn, and I was already head over heels for you.
Peace: We walked to the park in those crisp, ever-shortening nights to get high and hold hands. The journey back was always so much more beautiful.
Lust: I gave myself wholly to you, trusting you to be gentle with my scars. Being naked in front of someone else had always been a terrifying thought; being naked with you made me feel safe.
Distance: We spent less and less time together. You still loved me down and tried to convince me it was as real as it was in the beginning, but I felt myself slipping into the rift.
Distress: You said we needed a break, so you could work on yourself and learn how to show me love again.
You are right, but I still feel empty.
inspired by Gay Degani's "Abbreviated Glossary"
I heard demons harmonizing in song today,
But I’m still unsure if 21 will ever find me.
Maybe if two evils can make a good, though,
I can cancel myself out and finally
Find my peace among the stars
Writing helps to get it all out.
Pain, frustration, anger, abandonment...
All of it.
I like to write often.
It's why I have a collection of pens
on my bedside table.
Sometimes, I write so much
The ink drips from the pen to the floor.
At least it seeps into the carpet fibers
so no one is able to read it.
I suppose writing has become my addiction.
There are nights where I write a lot,
especially when it gets late
and I'm certain no one is around
to hear my feverish scribbling.
The ink starts to spot my sheets then.
But I can't stop myself.
Count to ten.
Pick up the pen.
Why does it matter if I write another line?
I’ve held you up in your weakest state
And you repay me by kicking me to the ground
Swiping at my chest with nails painted poison
Until I’m left coughing up bits of broken heart on the floor
Now here we are again
A new face, a new name
Same poisonous fingers
Same icy veins
But I will rise from the ashes you tried to cage me in
The doubts you threw in with me
And prove to myself yet again
That in the end I will be my only friend
I used to be scared of the dark,
But now I can’t sleep without it.
I used to be scared of storms,
And now I dance in the lightning’s shadow.
Right now, I’m scared of our future -
But I’m hoping that means someday I’ll just embrace you
All the more tightly.
I want this to work
You make it hard to remember what song I was listening to
when my world was ending;
pale skin tangled up in dark carpets,
the room reveling in my emptiness.
I think our melody might be even more memorable.
I'm tugging at your arms
as if they were the rope around my neck;
please don't let me fall.
Spring air, you remind me of fall
Of fear and of peace
Of falling in love and remembering what it means to be alive
Spring air, you’re cursing me with memories
Let me breathe in your golden nights just a
Before we lose ourselves to something less