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Alicia Jan 2016
the plates that carried
our recipes.
break

the steady rhythm
of our weekly routine.

as a kid
i'd watch the minute hand
in anticipation
  breaking bread              
a sacred tradition            
breaking bones
not so much.

break                            
a means to refresh
and reenergize for what's to come
                            and prevent
catastrophic collisions

but the potential for being unmendable

whether it was your call or mine
i'm still broken
"I think we should take a break"
Alicia Jan 2016
december:: it was in the background.
bound by weeks gone by. she waited      she swayed. it played in the background.  i can't be.     back bare shoulder clavicle. bodies rolled with arms stretched. fear of sun rise. feared mourning. drunk on ice, the last night. he offered fingers    his eyes eager, and somewhere in between.      
but please.     it was in the background.    
*don't forget me.
Alicia Jan 2016
whilst watching things fall apart
maybe we never will

leaves catch flame
the trees tend to turn on one side
                        magnifique on fire
               and if the walls could disintegrate
                                         we would see them
                       and i’d never fear the falling rise
                       they’d be there  
                        for you
                        for i


*si
l'immensita canterebbe
per te    
e per me
Alicia Dec 2015
it's soaring through flaming green hills
your heart races with the curiosity of discovery
it's dancing on a secluded mountaintop
with the drunken energy of a motorino zipping.
it's the endless time spent laughing
lips tingling with wine and philosophy
furiously awaiting l'autobus
and saying basta to the pasta.
the hazelnut aroma of hot cappuccini,
and suddenly you have the bravery
to get lost alle tre in Trestevere.
it's watching sunrays part mountains and Corinthian columns
and sparkling on salty waters
and you inch toward the edges of cliffs
just to catch a glimpse.
it's the comfort of friends and Nutella
when Ryanair lands and Rome becomes Home
and life, and death, and carbs follow you.
it's the homeless and the hungry
sleeping in the strong arms of St. Peter
and disappointment and shame
consumes you.
it's sobbing when you are alone,
foreign, and strange
and sobbing when it's time to say
arrivederci
it's when you fall, your stupid heel caught between cobblestones
that you realize you're in love.
motorino - scooter/vespa
l'autobus - bus
basta - enough
alle tre - 3:00 a.m.
Trestevere - nightlife neighborhood of clubs, bars, and restaurants
St. Peter - St. Peter's Basilica/The Vatican
arrivederci - goodbye
Alicia Dec 2015
thank you for an education
for making me overqualified
and dissatisfied.
  
thank you for giving me
the art of argument
so i can be the best  
copy girl  
for dep prep
after which
Michelle tells me
"it's fact, girls
are naturally
bad at math."      

i remember why
- and i'm grateful.
Alicia Dec 2015
she poured brown sugar on top. talked but refused to speak. that.  was her last inhale.  cigars ordained the fountain    and the blue irises diluted.  i expected to see drops.   the ends shriveled up.
    
but we swigged godiva
      
     she said:                                                        
sunday we’ll go to the beach

    i laugh     at first
          the open air was all legs and armpits
          i casually held my palms to my nose
     wine to drown the stench
    
she chatted in infinites


there was only a small bustle. thirteen o’ clock. the canvases were pulled back.  always some glass in our hands. the horses didn’t care, in fact, let us stroke their noses. i still wonder  what they patrolled. we kept drinking.  passed out in a public park.

    i said
    it’ll be concrete jungles
friendship forgotten



                               she woke with leaves                                                           ­ 
                   at her temples    in her tear ducts.
                                                          ­ i typed it
                                                           l e a v e s
              
            
*seen by all
Alicia Dec 2015
slow down                                                                                                      
something i’m not good at lately                                                        
i’d rather not                                                                                                      


yes i’m caught
yackety ******* a paralyzing something
avalanching from mouths
(our only exercise of the day)
too hateful
to be called
wor-


the gorgeous ambiguity of oxblood                                                              

i almost forgot
my love
for discussion

but when your insides break                                            
and people    well they                                                    
can’t see internal bleeding                                              
yes, i’m sure you can all relate     like that one time      you didn’t get lead  and he shared his blunt with the miniskirt        instead of you.


but when the air                                                  
quite literally escapes you                                        
and you don’t have a moment to                                  
reach out      and scream from the pain       fight                          

fight like hell for someone else’s life                            
stop the bleeding you can’t see                                
before it floods the brain                                        
and drowns his nervous system                                


and you leave him
terrified                      
you were too late.
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