"finalize" poems
It’s 6:15pm. Peter, Anna, Sophy and I are studying in the common room of our suite.
“We need to get serious,” Peter whispered, but there was no subject in the declaration, so I was left confused and uncommitted, “about getting serious,” he clarified.
“I’m not sure I can get serious about a guy who doesn’t separate whites and darks in the laundry,” I say, gently.
“No,” he said, shaking his head in brief vibration, “we need to get serious about DINNER.”
“Oh!” I said, maybe a little too relieved.
“Ha!” He chortled, “YOU overthink everything!” He said, nodding his head up and down to prove it was true. “And speaking of laundry,” he continued, seeing me start to open my mouth, “the other night YOU asked me if your pastel purple ******* should go with the whites or darks - so I must be an EXPERT!”
I laughed at the idea of his laundry expertise, sailing in from out of the purple like that, it was haywire. “Well,” I said, becoming introspective, “I didn’t know you’d hold onto that question like a grudge,” I said, in quiet, wounded accusation, “from now ON, maybe you should stay as far away from my ******* as possible.”
“What are you two grousing about NOW?” Anna asked, looking up from her computer. “You guys are like an old married couple.”
“True THAT.” Sophie said, like a judge right before knocking her gavel to finalize a ruling.
“We weren’t arguing!” I said, looking around confusedly. I looked at Peter, who was smiling broadly, “Were we?”
“Nope,” he said, wrapping his arm around me in a bearhug, “we were flirting.”
Sep 22, 2022
Sep 22, 2022 at 2:43 PM UTC
artificial feelings stuffed in a room
dangerous proximity could finalize doom
deprivation brings about illogical thoughts
then it happens, and my hearts in knots
side effects may include waking in cold sweat
followed by hot flashes of regret
but
it seems like whenever the icing's enticing,
i can't help but take the cake.
Aug 28, 2014
Aug 28, 2014 at 9:39 PM UTC
Broke
Unable to finalize any purchase
Checking
For change in the last places that one searches
Insufficient
To the point I'm unable to ward off the throes of destitution
Bankrupted
By devaluing those who have not made restitution
Insolvent
To the point of having to fight off the urge to curse
Disallowed by the prose that places value and give credit....to verse
Denied
Any credit accrued....maybe even unearned
Reevaluation
With no accounting for the time you
SPENT
Learning what you have learned
Depreciation or Appreciation
Cannot be quantified by the lack of someone.saying thanks
Interest will eventually be of value
Once accrued... but for now I must accept
That I'm simply overdrawn at my memory banks
Investment in my own value
Will allow me growth
In my own ...
......personal
Checking account
Helping me in balancing the books
Keeping me payed up and happy
BY
Always giving others their true valuation
So that ego doesnt become a currency
That is subject to... such a devastating inflation
Jun 16, 2016
Jun 16, 2016 at 4:24 PM UTC
I just left your house and
counted the glowing, dotted lines
that passed by all too eagerly
The fluorescent paint
reflects the lights back to me
like the letter I passed to you
which you so hastily returned
A chipped away memory and
a winter kiss only dreamt of
finalize this draft of our
suspenseful novella
But I hear you have many of
these unfinished stories
pushed aside while you reread
the same old text
hoping that you can add to
the blank pages in the back
And while you study
those worn, yellow pages
you leave behind
a library of fortune
too late to discover
With a flick of the thumb
and a twist of the wrist
these missed adventures become
glowing embers on the asphalt
a fading memory in my rear-view mirror
Oct 12, 2012
Oct 12, 2012 at 7:26 AM UTC
Though in the public place arrives
A winnowing on wisdom’s wind
And threshers haste to finalize
The harvest of its sifting breath
Yet orphans cry and widows plead
Their plight before the sacred site
As seers peer upon the hearth
Of ages, garnering their end!
Apr 14, 2012
Apr 14, 2012 at 11:19 AM UTC
hollow summer tomb, could be worse
Waiting in your dark, this single world
Keeps wasting away, I keep taking notes
on truth that I find, in stories you tell
Everything I fear, I see in you
A poor disguise of choice, over wicked truth
You're here for a while, I hope for the worst
For all the other times, you still get through
Cryptic walking
In the daylight
A feeling familiar
Lost as it is
Right now
for now
Something brushes
past my shoulder
Seething restless but
We're not scared
For now
Circled round the moon, now sentient
Curses lived in full, souls born to rend
My best attempt, braced for the worst
I know we'll find our ourselves. Again
Lost inside the aftermath
Finalize our disarray
Starting down another path
Of cold decay
bought ourselves a little more
Could've done with clarity
Sunlight outside the tomb
For the time remains
But what I fear I see in you
This unnerving wicked truth
Why you're wrong I'll never say
I hope for the worst
Dec 17, 2018
Dec 17, 2018 at 3:31 AM UTC
As I stand beside and wonder,
Of clouds and rain and thunder,
What force or drive could be so great,
To carry all your reckless hate?
Who lied to you? Who let you down?
Who pushed you back? Who stole your crown?
Who stood you up, so proud and tall,
Slipped away, watched you fall
So surely you, such strength, such might,
Would find this soul, and set them right,
Meet their eye, hold their gaze,
Finalize these torturous days,
But to an end my thoughts conclude,
Though not for me, but just for you,
Your wrathful dreams may sail free,
But just for you, not for me.
Sep 23, 2012
Sep 23, 2012 at 10:34 AM UTC
From atop mountains
Of debt
We tumble, like
The thrill of defeat
Dripping down
The quivering chin
Of blood-stained
America.
To quote a thunderstorm:
"All who question
The efficacy
Of God
Shall crumble
To an infinity
Of indecencies."
To quote a God:
"All who fall
Have not
Been pushed,
Those who rose
Were not all
Pulled.
**** the heathens.
Justified are those
Who avenge the treasons
Committed unto me."
Waves of
Iridescence
Cleanse our pallettes,
And we open wide
For the next forkful
Of fermented
Excrement.
Bloodied are our knees
As we receive
The sacrement,
Trapped like rats
Cast in cement.
To quote a slave:
"Bound by prior
Engagements,
Sacrificed to
Advertisement,
The seeds of men
Wither in the soil.
Blood weeps
From poisoned skies
While YES WE CAN
Opens eyes,
And seals fate
Within fine
Print."
Wolves in
Cheap disguises
Bate their breath
Behind red grins
And finalize
The list of
Who gets in,
While in the cold
Stand the masses,
Marinating
In their own
Molasses.
From atop Parnassus,
A silver-lined horse
Watches the madness,
And snarls and spits
In shamed defiance,
While Apollo
Holds court
To form the alliance
That will interrupt
The defiling of man.
To quote a soldier:
"Cold is the mud
That cradles
The valiant.
Swift is decay
In these
Transient days,
Where passive
Observers rot
In mass graves."
Designed by the rich,
Assembled by slaves,
Our system
Keeps churning,
Rejecting all
Who misbehave.
Reflected in
Concentric waves,
The faces of children
Contemplate age,
And what it means
To be forever
Enraged,
Engaged in endeavors
That are only dreams.
They can't be saved,
And neither can we.
So it seems,
And so it should be.
Jan 4, 2013
Jan 4, 2013 at 10:25 PM UTC
This is hard for me to admit because I'm strong willed and stubborn
But I wish you never left me for your original lover
Thought that we had somethin'...
Really, maybe it was nothin'
Maybe you showed me all your cards but I still thought you was bluffin'
By no means can you push me and make me fall any harder
Why must the toughest lessons come from misery, heartbreak and trauma?
You broke through my armor,
Taught me how to speak drama,
Things was heating up so much our hearts molded together like angry lava.
Cause passion means pain and love means stress
Nothing worst than giving someone your all only to receive back less.
I gave it all to you, you hit the nail on the chest
You really must of meant it when you whispered "I want to forever put your heart at rest"
Maybe I'm being aggressive like you always said
"I hate you" "get away" & "Please drop dead"
Must of not recognized that words hurt just like fist
Maybe I should of R estrained myself from calling you a "selfish b!tch"
But you pushed me to this
Don't lie, you know it
Must of forgotten. It's not a good idea to **** off a poet.
Now you're just words, ink that's bleed from my pen
Your evil to my nightmares, my suffocation to vent
My soul is clouded and bent
I have nothin left
They say you prosper when your body starts to slowly regress
And I have no regrets
They say "you live and you learn"
Got that tatted permantially on all the scars from your lashings and burns.
(You cut me deep)
You morally killed me, mentally drilled me!
You was looking for unauthentic, never the real me.
Couldn't make you see
*Because emotions make us blind
I hope when you close your eyes, the memories haunt your mind.*
As you walk all alone knowin' all the good you left behind.
*All those long, draining times
Trust me, I'm doing just fine.*
Remember, it's the people you never needed that are most important, to finalize your design.
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 12:42 AM UTC
today I witnessed
something
so heart-wrenching,
the sight
of an old, stocky, bad-ass,
with a golden heart, man
be frail and in tears
because he was on his way
to
finalize
his divorce papers.
something he'd never imagined
of ever having to do
to a woman who he loved,
truly cared,
and provided for
thirty-seven
years of marriage
to end up finding out
that she never loved him.
Oct 11, 2016
Oct 11, 2016 at 2:21 PM UTC
I’m just twirling in the center of my room.
I’ve got way too much to do.
Has that ever happened to you?
I’m assailed, derailed and impaled by indecision.
I can’t find my lucky pencil and I have a final in 90 minutes
I have lab results to qualify and a term paper to finish.
I have two problem-sets due and I must arrange movers.
Despite my burn-out, I should start packing for move-out.
In order to get our reservations and tickets in hand,
we’ve got to finalize our summer plans.
On my theoretical schedule - I’m behind -
oh, and there’s a mountain of laundry to climb.
In finals week everything is ratcheted up.
and there’s the weighty and unavoidable demands of sleep.
I’m just a girl about to pass out in her room, over-caffeineed,
from chugging a large, iced coffee after 3 hours of sleep.
I’ve read that stress can affect valuations.
I think it’s true.
I twirl.
.
.
Down In the Seine by The Style Council
I Want You Back by Trijntje Oosterhuis
Make a Rainbow by Benny Sings
Let Her Go Into The Darkness by Johnathan Richman
May 3, 2024
May 3, 2024 at 10:15 AM UTC
I see you from a distance and it seems to be surreal
So bizarre how just one glimpse can finalize the deal
There’s no wonder what it is that captivates me so
Picture perfect body with a flawless soul.
Skin so soft like the touch of burnet
Eyes so blue you can’t ever forget
Hair waving carefree like the ocean
Lips curling up with a secret notion
You walk with confidence and pride
Your face so expressive to how you feel inside
But never arrogant nor superior
Yet hold yourself steady with the poise of a warrior
And all I see is perfection
An exquisite little confection
Of rosy cheeks, and when you speak
I feel a bone-deep connection.
Arms so sturdy, however yields to an embrace
Never have I ever seen a lovelier face
Don’t pass me by, please look my way
Please give me hope, please, won’t you stay?
I can see from the distance between you and me
From tip to toe you are divine
I can hardly wait to make you mine
No more distance, pretty please?
You’re so utterly lovely.
Jun 20, 2012
Jun 20, 2012 at 4:19 AM UTC
i am older than i look
younger than i feel
with only death ahead of me
to finalize and seal the deal
Oct 9, 2013
Oct 9, 2013 at 5:19 PM UTC
Finalize your after thought
Is it really what you thought?
Was the outcome what you expected
Was there more pain, than pleasure?
Did his hungry eyes feed your appetite
Or did they reproduce in your own sight?
Do you feel refreshed and new
Now that he's taken advantage of you?
Or are you just like him?
Always seeking your next victim
Or is it that you are the victim?
Do you even know who you are
Or do you know what other people think you are?
Have you stayed true to yourself
To your thoughts
To your religion
Or do you purposefully
Walk the path of temptation
Maybe you've gotten lost
Just to find yourself wandering
Among all the others.
Nov 4, 2017
Nov 4, 2017 at 9:12 AM UTC
Time eternal, time translucent of light
Time in our hands
Who would believe
That we were once borne in a lifetime
All by itself and the many generations
That came after..
Time eternal as they say
Yes..there is always a time for us
But memories however vague
Still color our world of make believe
Reminiscent of an era not so long ago
Taken by light as another dimension
The wherefores, and henceforth
Man so solid in light
A time for us..time as you guessed
It is in our hands
Whether you open it
To welcome opportunities
Or when you close it to finalize matters
To stand and corrected
And be at peace with God.
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 1:49 AM UTC
These words are long overdue
But each time I sit before the screen
It seems too impersonal
A keyboard is incapable
Of showing how my hands shake
This paper holds the tears I shed though
All of the late nights I spend praying for sleep
I am unable to because I know
Miles away you lay on your floor
Music pulsing
At the same tempo
As the blood that flows freely
How am I to sleep
When I know you stare at the same night sky
I feel you lie awake
Making me unable to close my eyes
But when I think of this
Tears threaten to overflow
I no longer can pick up my phone
To see if you are truly awake
Sometimes I hope you think of me often
But I don’t want you to feel this pain
I have lost my tether to reality that was you
And no matter how you feel now
I know you lost the one
Who knew you the best
How have you been Dear?
I wish I could have called you last night
My mind was slipping
And the walls were closing in
But I couldn’t call you
I had to fall asleep on a tear soaked pillow
Trembling in fear
Thinking of what you would have said
Has stopped helping
Now I think of your tired voice
Telling me it will all be okay
Makes my throat close
And my head spin
It’s scary to think of
How things change
Who do you talk to now?
Who has taken my place?
Do you love them
Like you loved me?
Do your fingers hover over my number late at night?
Can you feel that I need your strength?
Has it crossed your mind
That I’m scared to let someone else in?
Once I recover
From the constant shock
That I can no longer call you
My fingers rest calmly above someone else’s number
But my heart races
If I let them in
That means you will never come back
I already know you won’t
But letting them see
All that you have seen
Will finalize it
I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet
But I know I need
A new tether to reality
‘Cause freefalling
Isn’t healthy
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 12:20 AM UTC
Red, raw, raging regret
As far away as you can get
You make me want to hurt myself
To collapse into a shallow shelf
Shame is eating my head away
Pain is bleeding and here to stay
How can you say everything is okay?
That I am not killing you every day?
We need to talk. We need to walk.
We need to finalize what we feel.
We need to get all these feelings out
To remove our hands from our swollen mouths
This is all a nightmare.
My stomach churns and you don't care.
You said yourself you're numb to me.
Please, oh please, don't let that be.
I am so, so, so, so, so, so sorry
My aching eyes are closing hardly
There must be something left in you
For you keep writing about me.
Don't think I can't see it, it's so true.
Why won't you let me be in love with you?
Please, let's talk. Please.
See me soon.
Aug 14, 2010
Aug 14, 2010 at 11:47 PM UTC
we fall in love
so the one we are falling for
catches us.
When they let us fall,
it's hard to recover.
It is not an easy fall.
It's one that is damaging.
It's one that takes a while to cure.
When you fall in love and you do not land well,
you finalize with a broken heart.
Aug 9, 2017
Aug 9, 2017 at 10:04 PM UTC
Despite being atheist,
with serpent teen eyes,
I would nonetheless bet
Eve fen number guys
named Adam, or gals noel lies
(christened) dollars to donuts
(Dunkin and/or otherwise)
Jesus would be mighty pleased
to know, his sir name
linkedin with commercial ties,
no matter, he might not garner rise
zen percentage of profits, no matter spies
infiltrate competition especially if he
unwittingly gets trampled and cries
amidst chaos (think euthanize)
untimely death by madding wise
flash mob crowd source realize
last seconds rushing to snap up
latest jamb door prize
as venders resort to all
manner of (subliminally
manipulative) marketing techniques
to lure patrons, (especially
photo opportunities with
one of the many
"FAKE" donned Santa
Claus), the latter,
who would lionize
their son(s) and/or apprise
daughter(s), subsequently
guaranteeing, nailing crosswise,
and clinching safeguards exercise
immunization against the Grinch
sure fire way to manure er... fertilize
guarantee future generations rise
zing will become avid consumers,
who reverently, obsequiously,
and devoutly idolize
supporting the apostles who revolutionize
creative commercialization to capitalize
nearly every Cyber Monday
occasion to finalize
(all sales) pennies on the dollar,
where merchants feign
going for broke, and capitalize
eulogize, and idealize
the mighty buck staging "FAKE"
news worthy shoppers to burst into tears
crying on command,
and all manner of pathos
pulling ploys nsync king
"shameful guilt" that squares
with being ostracized,
hash-tagged, and demonized Scrooge.
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019 at 1:14 AM UTC
Dear Photographer,
I’m begging to please,
Photo shoot me...
I want a happy portrait;
The one my lips were commonly clasped together,
And my eyes were looking somewhere.
Adorn me with warm colors to shows it’s a joyful moment.
Focus your lens, in the angle of my heart, and
never mind what they could not see but yours can do.
Please use the rule of thirds grid
In highlighting the spaces of my frames
That would make a better composition,
If not your creativity will seek it ground.
If only you can add light into it,
Please do, it’s a favor to hide
What dark does in each life..
P.S
Retouch and finalize me
for public viewing,
so it wore a mouth,
for brilliant minds.
Jun 11, 2014
Jun 11, 2014 at 2:38 AM UTC
It's been so long since the last entree
I've been stuck, lost my scribbled sheets
my mind is empty but fully chaotic
of words unsaid, unwritten, undone.
Can someone reach out?
I'm drowning, falling deep
I'd like to be saved,
I'd like to be spared,
kept safe in the midst of crowded lies.
My soul is caged,
locked down by frozen dreams,
tied up by unfinished poems,
tortured by crumpled music notes.
I want to be free;
where my pen can write the words,
where my lips can speak rhymes,
where my heart can finalize songs.
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 14, 2018 at 10:30 AM UTC
I look back and I witness the mess I created. No wonder words cannot justify the remorse that I carry on my shoulders; the pain that radiates from my “I like you too”.
Going down memory lane I remember the 1460 days in which I built high walls made of concrete, as I sat there and shot down every love story that the world had. I yearn for your touch yet at the same time the fear that comes with such a feeling overwhelms me.
I believe I am broken, shattered into a million pieces that cannot be made whole. Your efforts pain me because you are the ideal idea I dream of. I somewhat hope you could read my mind, I somehow hope that I could end up in your arms, where I could feel safe.
I do admit it; love was wrongly accused by my empty soul until your tenacity filled me with hope. I hate the fact that I am this giant that may never become a miniature. I hate the fact that I hate me. I hate the fact that you could love a heartless monster like me. **** I said the forbidden word, LOVE! Even my own subconscious glares at me with utter disappointment.
I hate the fact that I care, the fact that it hurts. But then again burying my emotions is what I am good at. I believe I am a master of my own destruction, I do not believe in flowers, romantic dinners and surprises but one thing I know is that I believe you, I believe in you. In my vague idea of “us” we do ride into the sunset. We get that happily ever after. The thought of you being my knight in shining amour petrifies me to the core. I am afraid that I will care too much, that I will love too much. Yes, I do believe in love because you gave me that.
You gave me the spirit to believe in something I hated to the ends of the earth. As I drown in a pool of my own condemnation, I keep looking up, I keep swimming, and I keep letting my soul sail because I hope that you may save me. Finally it then hits me; I sentence you and love 25 to life. If you keep your promise to never leave, I will keep my promise of giving you this warm heart of mine that is caged in concrete walls. If you promise to be there when it matters, when I succeed , when I fail, when I cry or worse when I shut down and try to push you away. If you promise to hold me till I feel like the walls are not closing in, I promise to unlock all these doors I have shut. I hope that you will hold my hand till I finalize my divorce with death. I hope that you can piece me together.
But then these are just thoughts I never voice, these are voices in my own head. Every love story has a happy ending and in this one, you are my happy ending because you set me free from my own prison and complete the person I was meant to be.
Sep 14, 2014
Sep 14, 2014 at 3:23 PM UTC
The bottom the bottle of whiskey
Bashes my insides and face with wrinkles
Strewn about my eyes and smile,
Wildly grown from the child I seek inside
myself
So hypocritically
That innocence I contemplate
As I **** and pillage my morals with
Actions so contemptible and occasionally
Outrageous I want to repeat
HYPOCRITICAL
I yell as that innocence beckons me
My simpler thoughts distorted by mad, mad
silly behaviors of an actor I’ve acted to be
Because this actor
Others will act like
This mad, silly rampage has left for me
nothing but ink on paper, napkin paper,
carbon paper, construction paper, rolling
paper, paper for later and notebook paper
This paper my savior allowing me to finalize
and analyze my actor’s mad, mad , silly
behavior.
Oct 7, 2015
Oct 7, 2015 at 8:55 PM UTC