"collapses" poems
I saw a Man both Lean and Hard,
Who smiled at me with warm regard.
As I notice the Bulge within his jeans,
I stretch out my hand. to stroke his seams.
And see the Size of his Manhood Rise,
From Soft Flesh, before my eyes.
Then Kissing the Now Swollen Tip,
As it Slides between my trembling Lips.
Engulfed within, my Lips Now Part,
I feel the Beating of his Heart.
His sighs give rise to other tones
As I Hear the coming of His Moans
And he Collapses, Having Spent
His sweet Manhood now Content.
JMF '98
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 10:14 PM UTC
you text me to say you're coming over
and
my heart does jumping jacks
it does pull ups on the bones lining my ribcage
my veins become skipping ropes
my heart
races and
races
until
my lungs inflate like giant love sacs
and my heart collapses
resting in your presence
as soon as your fist hits the door.
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 11:20 PM UTC
Thinking, tangling shadows in the deep solitude.
You are far away too, oh farther than anyone.
Thinking, freeing birds, dissolving images,
burying lamps.
Belfry of fogs, how far away, up there!
Stifling laments, milling shadowy hopes,
taciturn miller,
night falls on you face downward, far from the city.
Your presence is foreign, as strange to me as a thing.
I think, I explore great tracts of my life before you.
My life before anyone, my harsh life.
The shout facing the sea, among the rocks,
running free, mad, in the sea-spray.
The sad rage, the shout, the solitude of the sea.
Headlong, violent, stretched towards the sky.
You, woman, what were you there, what ray, what vane
of that immense fan? You were as far as you are now.
Fire in the forest! Burn in blue crosses.
Burn, burn, flame up, sparkle in trees of light.
It collapses, crackling. Fire. Fire.
And my soul dances, seared with curls of fire.
Who calls? What silence peopled with echoes?
Hour of nostalgia, hour of happiness, hour of solitude.
Hour that is mine from among them all!
Megaphone in which the wind passes singing.
Such a passion of weeping tied to my body.
Shaking of all the roots,
attack of all the waves!
My soul wandered, happy, sad, unending.
Thinking, burying lamps in the deep solitude.
Who are you, who are you?
14.4k
the hills
like poets put on
purple thought against
the
magnificent clamor of
day
tortured
in gold,which presently
crumpled
collapses
exhaling a red soul into the dark
so
duneyed master
enter
the sweet gates
of my heart and
take
the
rose,
which perfect
is
With killing hands
14k
Every time I look at you
I can feel my whole world crumble.
The ground beneath my feet shaking
trees rustling, concrete cracking.
Buildings collapsing.
Every time I look at you
chaos,
devastation,
they always seem to follow.
Every time I look at you
I can feel an earthquake
erupting within my heart.
Shaking the ground beneath my feet
my walls crumbling
my senses dulling
my mind wandering
to a fantasy of you and me
Every time I look at you
the ground collapses
and I fall
and keep falling.
Because I know
that you won't be there
to catch me.
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 11:04 AM UTC
Hidden behind my desires.
Fantasies of ecstasy
frustrating me.
My body tempting me sensually.
Sexuality turning on me,
arousing my entity.
My fingers betraying me, ****** my body eagerly.
Probing between my legs relentlessly,
consuming my whole body; selfishly.
Weakening my flesh; this tantalizing energy
claiming the deepest depths of my *****
Scandalous imagery, mentally ravaging me,
seducing me, teasing my lips,
guiding my fingertips effortlessly,
long fingers dip, disappearing;
deep inside of me.
My ***** tightens, the feelings heighten.
Warm liquids drip, stone hard ****
pulling and rubbing it.
Wrist twist,palm grinding against my *****
legs clasp, my insides amass giving way,
As I spray, my exhausted body collapses.
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 10:26 PM UTC
I can't wait till I'm awake..
Plugged into the wall.
Nothing noted until the shell of the capsule
collapses under the weight of your trembling hands.
No there is no notation for what was said between us, just figure-less voices and a strenuous pain that strained our throats for the fear of nothing being communicated between the exasperated gasps of what was less than incommunicable silence.
Ugly is not a word but a feeling applied with meaning, applied to a certain truth about that metallic taste in my mouth, that tearful pain jostled in my chest and that consuming fear.
I know little of what this ugliness could mean other than it harbors shame in my corners. This shame is not inborn in anyone, but it builds it's presence as a drunken braggart who shouts obscenities and believes he is a prince of highest regard.
His ugliness is in what he slings from his tongue and his criticisms of all who in his mind toil about. But he is simply a angry troll with no heart and delusions of grandeur, frittering away time.. for time stands as an eternal judge and measure.
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 12:11 AM UTC
*Just when your world collapses
To the point of fall apart
There still resides a tiny spark
Deep within your hungry heart
The tiniest of slivers
A slight glimmer of hope
A righteous nod from the voice of God
Letting you know you're not alone*
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 6, 2015 at 7:37 AM UTC
Time collapses between the lips of strangers
my days collapse into a hollow tube
soon implodes against now
like an iron wall
my eyes are blocked with rubble
a smear of perspectives
blurring each horizon
in the breathless precision of silence
one word is made.
Once the renegade flesh was gone
fall air lay against my face
sharp and blue as a needle
but the rain fell through October
and death lay a condemnation
within my blood.
The smell of your neck in August
a fine gold wire bejeweling war
all the rest lies
illusive as a farmhouse
on the other side of a valley
vanishing in the afternoon.
Day three day four day ten
the seventh step
a veiled door leading to my golden anniversary
flameproofed free-paper shredded
in the teeth of a pillaging dog
never to dream of spiders
and when they turned the hoses upon me
a burst of light.
7k
I tried sleeping it off, but I often found myself stuck in a dream transitioning to a nightmare.
I tried not sleeping at all, but even the smallest occurences brought you to my eyes.
I tried writing, but even the purest words were tainted by your memory.
I tried loving again, but once a house collapses there is no room where there are no rooms.
I tried everything I could think of to cure the ailment I once thought you were brought upon to expel.
I tried everything until I finally tried everything.
I truly am sorry I couldn't fight it any longer, but the days were too long, and the thoughts were too plenty.
Please think not of it as my quitting, but as your winning.
For this day forward, my beloved, I shall feel no pain.
Goodnight to you for the last, My Last, and may your life be the sweetest dream I forever hoped for you.
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 8:41 PM UTC
Sadness collapses the faculties that hold together reality
Disconnected
the observer lost in painful recollection,
experiences life with no feeling of the present
A silent numbness takes over the senses,
a muted movie plays.
The zombie walks forward
hoping for better days
May 29, 2015
May 29, 2015 at 8:47 AM UTC
The world melts around him,
bleeding into swirls of hot, dripping colors.
He opens his mouth
into a silent scream.
His hands squeeze his head,
as he tries to block out the apocalypse.
He is standing on a bridge
as the world collapses around him.
He is holding his head
to keep the world he knows upright.
But it is futile.
The sky is falling, his world swallows him.
He is struggling to hold on
as he screams his silent scream,
as two figures in black behind him look on calmly.
They are ready for this.
They are prepared.
They just stand there waiting.
As the sky explodes.
As the man is screaming.
As the colors melt
into sticky goo.
They just stand there waiting.
Jul 2, 2015
Jul 2, 2015 at 4:38 PM UTC
the other day i sat alone having lunch in a McDonalds.
i found the Big Mac enjoyable and the wedge fries good enough
but what i truly loved was the cold-ass Oreo McFlurry.
actually, that's a half-lie because the cold-ass Oreo McFlurry
wasn't the only thing i truly loved from that McDonalds lunch.
when i was McSpooning the creamy goodness using my left hand,
the hand that should be reserved for ice cream related endeavors,
this girl wearing a polka-dot dress and a beret came in, stood in line,
and i heard her order: Big Mac, wedge fries and an Oreo McFlurry.
she anxiously tapped her right foot, the foot that should be reserved for tapping,
and i felt love for the first time in months. i didn't know her but i was in love.
it was the kind of momentary love developed for strangers that makes you think:
**** I wish we could sit together in silence at a McDonalds, mouths full,
eating Big Macs, wedge fries and McFlurries being the envy of McDonalds residents."
and then the stranger asks for her order to go and the universe collapses.
the momentary love begins fading slowly and the fantasy is enveloped by greasy fast food smells.
reality is a ***** girl in the polka-dot dress and beret.
it's been 5 minutes since you left. i miss you.
it's been 10 minutes since you left. i've tried forgetting you.
Nov 3, 2015
Nov 3, 2015 at 9:31 PM UTC
time is an infinite stream of possibilities
may this blessing flow to you across time through love
I pray for you, the me of my past who struggled and
lost your way in depression.
May this blessing find you across time to you, from me the you of the future, to the 26 year old that I was in a moment in time,
where I was lost.
May you find your way out of despair and hopelessness, and
may you find the courage to set the radio outside of the filled
bathtub. I know suicide seems the only way out, but you have
so much to live for. I am you of the future, as I speak to you of my past.
May my love and hope travel across time to help you find joy in that little moment, where you turned on the radio to make sure power was flowing before you electrocuted yourself. But in that tiny moment, reggae music blasted through the speakers bringing a spark of joy and rhythm into a dark moment, where you could not distinguish from the true and false.
May you find the wisdom to know that your pain will not last forever and all wounds heal with time, even heartbreaks. I know, because I am in this very present moment the future self of you. I know that your present feels bleak and each day feels more painful and pointless than the day before. It feels like the whole world is against you and people who are supposed to love you only judge you and ridicule you. Somehow it feels like who you are is not enough and you are sick and tired of feeling this way.
May my love and hope travel across time. Love is infinite and collapses the space that separates us. May my blessing find you
through this dark moment and many to come, so you may know
and experience joys, sadness, and full specturum of emotions
with an open heart. You will someday embrace pain as one of your greatest teachers, because it has lead you to the other great teacher of life, love. May you have the courage to really live, so you may face death, another great teacher. May you live and die with love, and not with fear and hatred in your heart.
May this blessing travel across time in that infinite place in your heart, where hope will rise out of the heavy despair that is pulling you down to depths of pain that goes deeper and deeper. Somehow, pain upon pain becomes comforting, and you begin to be trapped in yourself. All you can see is this moment.
May my prayer and blessing find you and guide you to a future you cannot imagine in your present, but you would not want to miss. Thank you, I love you. I'm sorry for ways I failed you. Please forgive me.
May this blessing of hope and love find you across time and space to bring you home, so you and I can live in that infinite space of love in our hearts, where we are connected to life flowing through and in us. May you find your way to me, to the now that is always being created.
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 1:03 AM UTC
Splitting the sea,
The wind I feel, keeps crossing over time, clearing the path between a sea of truth and lies, revealing what was hidden within such misery,
Amongst an ocean of common sense, opens the true pathway,
Cross it, by the miracle created in the dearness you held so close,
Caught within the border of life and death, you cannot be swept away
Don't be built on sand, the one you are walking on, wet, fragile and likely to fall apart within the barriers of water, pillars rising up to you, yet there is no need to worry, have faith, your transience remains
Distortion, clouded within judgement of two sides which only one is righteous about, oh how trecious, lies cannot win a long run yet try to
mislead and falsify the facts of life for ones owns benefits and needs,
The truth however, may be harsh and hard to take, yet has a sweeter taste than the best lie given, even though, you may end up deserted.
Those liars, they chase after you for not following them, yet when the sea collapses they surely will drown in the reigns of the truthful water
Looking at what I desire to accomplish, is to break the boundaries with this miraculous wind, be carried away, softly, gently swaying,
Carrying my wings, fighting on until the moment when I should fall,
Until the moment this path is overtaken by the ocean again
~ Umi
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 20, 2018 at 6:01 PM UTC
The Miner, Absolom
(a haibun)
green hill where sheep graze
white bones and coal, buried, held
seasons all the same
My grandfather worked in the mines from age thirteen to seventy. His life was closed in by mountains, the green one at the back, the dark looming one at the front and the pit head along the valley., winding the men in and out of the shaft, day after day, dawn until dusk when they came home singing
boots ring on the road
deep valley voices echo
backyard starlit smoke
.
They worked on their bellies or crouched, often in water for days, water that undermines rock. Shaft collapses where frequent. Life was cheap. He came home covered in coal dust to his wife and two sons, sons he was determined to keep out of the mines. Yet he loved that coal - coal that he always polished with care before lighting a fire, brushing dust off black diamond surfaces.
water breaks through rock
with wood and straining shoulders
man becomes the beam
He saved twenty lives that day, men he had known from boyhood. When his lungs were affected they laid him off, no pay, no pension, no life. He bought an insurance book with the money he had and every day he trudged over the mountains and valleys gathering pennies that would help to secure some livelihood to the widows who lost their men in the mines. He never told his wife that when a family couldn't pay he put the pennies in for them rather than leave them unprotected.
winter, summer, fall
the mountain hangs over all
tired to the backbone
When the mines were nationalised my grandfather went straight back to the coal face despite his age. He wasn't going to miss those days of glory. Safety was suddenly the watchword and changes were made very fast. Hot showers were installed at the pit head and the miners came home clean at last.
men stripped to the skin
hot water, steam, baptised
brothers singing hymns
Jun 13, 2014
Jun 13, 2014 at 9:25 PM UTC
My home, my life as I always remember
Through the rough stones of the hard sand, I see my memories clearly
The heated scenery collapses into the bustling busy streets
That swirls and swerves into the grand markets of beautiful colours
and smells of spices that waft deeply into the clear sky,
where it’s always warm and comforting
The blue skies filter the noise of the large city
My home, My life as I always remember
Mar 7, 2011
Mar 7, 2011 at 11:44 AM UTC
Hidden star against the dark backdrop of night.
Not seen...
Not heard...
Struggling to assert existence with waning light.
Stifled are the stories dying to be told.
Eclipsed are the emotions
within collapses and folds.
Cloaked is the voice
that screams in silent anguish.
Disenchanted is the will
that once spoke of flourish.
I see you black star...
Know that...
You're nearer than far.
Dig deep...
Past the charred, crumbling skin.
Dig deep...
Into the beating heart within.
Know that...
You're better than any of them.
Any of us.
Time will only reveal,
what the sky sought to despicably conceal.
Your true calling.
Not as the quiet sentinel
that no one sees...
but a cosmic gem.
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 12:41 AM UTC
Our lives are spiderwebs.
Delicate, pure, but Empty.
Sprinkle a little water,
It glows under lights.
Reflecting its own beauty.
Spill a pail of water,
It collapses instantly,
Reaping apart, for eternity.
May 20, 2013
May 20, 2013 at 12:31 AM UTC
The same song looping over and over…
The same suicidal thoughts torturing my sanity…
Repeats accruing on infinite piles of ruble,
Vigorously fighting these thoughts,
These demons of mentality,
A constant cartwheel of emotion…
Always racing…
Not ceasing for a mere second…
Forcing the pill in my mouth,
And then another,
And another…
The only mental painkiller is death…
I feel numb,
Darkness seeps into my vision…
Blurring reality…
The Pain is going away…
I feel alive as I feel myself die…
Emergency Medical Squads break the door down…
I sit there,
Watching them cycle electricity into my body as I blindly stare,
Eyes not moving,
Weak,
You never came.
I want to tell you I love you until it becomes white noise…
Always knowing I love you,
Never doubting yourself again…
I want to make love until we are one…
My body and yours…
Sharing the night, and day…
Filling senses with pleasure and love…
I want to hold you until you are weightless…
A feather in my arms…
Carry you up to a safe place on a dark night…
I want to love you forever…
I want to love you till stone itself evaporates into the air as it boils underneath the red giant sun…
I want to love you when the Universe rebirths or collapses…
I want to love you when the bell tolls,
The bell does not mark the end,
It will never end,
I will love you always,
Forever,
Not stopping even for a supernova…
No matter how lovely, how vivid, how colorful the painting…
Toxic fumes are given off,
The closer you look the more cracks and flaws you’ll find…
No matter how soft the wood, how elaborate the carving,
You can’t even begin to feel all the splinters…
All the cuts,
The closer you get the deeper the grooves…
This rusty drain has grown clogged of emotion and dust…
Wonderful you say…
But that is just for now,
Today.
My past is dark, dead, rotten,
Who knows if the future will be any different.
Today I have a moment of peace,
You,
A bright blue gem shining in the darkness,
So pure it becomes it’s own light-source,
Echoing beauty throughout the blackness,
Illuminating me,
True Commitment,
Warm and sweet Love,
Unquestionable Trust,
Seraphic Beauty,
Everything I need…
I sit here questioning these words…
Thinking of the purest way to put them,
But emotion is not pure,
It’s ***** rough, and raged,
But when I talk to you that emotion turns into something different,
It turns into satisfying warmth that runs through my body…
The past evaporates into the air,
Dispersing and losing its importance,
You are my future,
Not the past.
Dec 29, 2011
Dec 29, 2011 at 2:03 PM UTC
And i sat
Swinging on our bench
Painted the color of the words i never said
Your lies have crawled up the wooden support
And wrapped around the creaky hinges
Tired and flowerless
You've made it harder to swing
I begged you to stay
But you kissed me as you left
Leaving me sitting alone
On our bench
Your whispered goodbye repeats in my head
Shaking the ground beneath my feet
Like a 9.8 earthquake
The bench beneath me collapses
You told me you can't take the lies
What lies?
I was engulfed by the vines of your distant words
And never even noticed
And i,
I'm the one who lies?
They are your lies
Your lies that aged and broke
The bench that held our love
You believed everyone but me
I believed only you
And that's where i went wrong
Thoughtlessly swinging with you
I went wrong
You watched me cry
You saw love fill my eyes
and fall to the soil covered ground
My heart broke
You told me your heart was mine for the taking
So i got up and ran
Leaving our broken bench behind
I ran
But little did i know
You were hidden behind the tree
That was forever carved with our initials
Your foot stuck out in front of me
-You were always a step ahead of me-
The entire time
You had every intention
Of watching me fall
First on the broken bench
And then in front of you
And i did
Face in the dirt
I dropped your heart
But it didn't break,
It bounced
You picked it up,
And walked away
Never looking back
Leaving me broken
I realized why you stopped meeting me at our bench
Why you waited in the woods
And why every kiss felt like the last
Nov 24, 2013
Nov 24, 2013 at 3:49 PM UTC
Particles collate, clouds gather
An uprising it seems, stronger together
Resolute it stands, till it holds no further
As any body collapses, under mounting pressure
Little drops to torrential downpour
The inconvenience it brings, just what we abhor
Struggle we must with virtuous patience
If we are to enjoy befallen petrichor
Trees are fed, flowers bloom
From this garden, brilliance loom
As all things present, this too is transient
A reality so poignant, about an existence impermanent
Leaves frail, flowers wither
Consumed by soil from which it consumed
No such thing as eternal bliss
Such are the laws of our symbiosis
We arrive from dust and depart as stench
A reality from which, we shouldn't flinch
As we gaze into a horizon so eternal
All we have, are moments so ephemeral
Dec 23, 2018
Dec 23, 2018 at 7:35 AM UTC
I pride myself on differences,
but know at heart we're all one
I tried to do the dishes,
but only two knives made the cut.
Now I wonder if I can
accomplish more than thought possible
judging dull wounds in grunting cans;
feeling pistol grooves and wrist slitters,
I am at home again.
Lying, mining, dying figure heads
make their way to the foot of my bed,
and ask if they may lull me to sleep
with dreams of pneumonia and epilepsy.
I ask them to politely leave,
but they perch on boasting names of society,
reciting to me, too condescendingly,
"surely, we know better than you."
Now all of their heads fit askew.
Save the money and excuse for material attachment.
Keep running through your doll houses.
I pull on my hair to make it grow.
You pull on heart strings to teach a lesson, I suppose
we're in the same sinking boat.
But you are my vital poison.
My body collapses- a muted a noise and-
each time I awake perfectly poised
at your feet and frozen mouth.
How will I ever make you love me now?
Life's a Hawaii postcard
pleading, "go experience the vibrant colors."
There's more to see beyond the rainbow trees,
but they'll still satisfy most cravings.
Every threaded fiber of my being
keeps me pondering
if cells are just too shy to speak,
or if they've always spoken through me,
whispering, "scratch to win the lottery."
I want to write children's books,
and release doves from hidden cages;
watch awe wipe over next generation;
use my candies as their safe haven.
Away this world that have caused them pain-
I Am its new name.
Affection is a mistress of mine.
I still crave her like sunlight.
stare into her eye until I am blind
She's addicting even after she harms you.
I'll keep my heals neck deep
in anxiously wading water.
til I sing it into deep sleep,
its current pulls me under.
and I am at home again.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 9:05 AM UTC
*Dust on the ledge, before me, magnified
Smell of gun oil in my nostrils and cramp in the calves
The boredom of the wait intensifies,
Stale air in my loft is full of must
With the failing light I’m grateful it is almost time to stand down.
Through the cross hair sprints a target
An ordinary, everyday, running target,
I know not who this target is,
I know not why it runs across my sights,
But because it is, where it is,
It becomes my enemy.
In a microcosm of time
the loud bang alters things forever.
The buck of the rifle’s recoil,
The immediate sour stench of the shot washes back across my face.
The intoxication felt, in being the one who caresses the trigger.
The satisfaction earned in deservedly making the ****
My target spirals in mid stride,
Contorts in agony
And collapses to the rough tarmac
To lie dishevelled, an insignificant, dishevelled item.
Checking the **** through the telescopic sight
I see the rough stubble of the chin,
The nicotine stain on the fingers,
I see the colour of the eyes are pale blue.
…I know well, it will breathe no more.
With descending twilight
I trudge from my tower perch
With the long ****** rifle slung across my weary shoulders
The crones in the street glare as I walk by
There is a loathing in their aged eyes, It is a tangible thing.
I know they have no knowledge of the target,
But they know, however, that there has been a killing made for the cause.
A cold beer would be nice.
God! how I hate these young punks with purple hair.*
Marshalg
Gaza, Palestine/Mogadishu, Somalia/Kabul, Afghanistan/Tehran, Iran/Cairo, Egypt/Islamabad, Pakistan/Soweto, South Africa/Dier El Zour Province, Syria/Beirut, Lebanon/Baghdad, Iraq/Tripoli, Libya/Pristina, Kosovo/Grozny,Chechen Republic/Veracruz, Mexico/Guatemala City, Guatemala/Sao Paulo, Brazil/Moscow, Russia.
27 November 2012
Nov 28, 2012
Nov 28, 2012 at 8:17 PM UTC
My heart races and I cannot escape it.
I'm stuck inside my skin.
I itch with anxiety and my chest collapses.
I'm stuck inside my skin.
Tear me out, piece by piece.
Let me go from this bag of flesh that traps me in this horrid place.
I'm stuck inside my skin.
I'm not insecure; this is not about appearance.
I want to escape my self.
Hide n go seek with my own mind, inside my mind.
I'm stuck inside my skin.
This skin that is the cocoon for a worthless worm that could never grow wings to escape.
Unzip me and let my contents pour out.
I'm stuck inside my skin.
Apr 16, 2014
Apr 16, 2014 at 8:40 PM UTC