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Jan 2019 · 251
seeing you up close
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
i asked him
how he stood on the shore
of the ocean
and let the waves crash around him
(i was afraid i would be pulled under)

i asked him
why he always wore white
how those fabrics
seemed to shimmer with every color
and none at all
(i was afraid to stain my clothes)

i asked him
if those trailing tears on his cheeks
ever stung as they fell
(i was afraid to let them see my own)

i asked him
how he got
his big beautiful wings
how he soared so smoothly in the skies
(i was afraid of those herculean heights)

he told me there were times
he had inhaled the salty water
blood had stained his clothes
his tears had left scars in their wake
and he had flown too close to the sun

and when he spoke
every word fell on my skin
like a star from the heavens

and when he stood in front of me
i was no longer afraid
to touch
an angel
Jan 2019 · 279
hopes & mistakes
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
we hope and we dream,
not for reality,
but for moments and scenes
that are not what they seem
shimmering behind sheens,
sparkling on silver screens
we do not see the deep
cuts, the endless lost sleep
promises they won't keep;
no, we thought love was cheap
so what now of our dream?
still, who are we to deem
that it can't be redeemed
and to now call unclean
these faults that we have seen?
is it beyond our reach
to both learn and to teach
our tongues new ways of speech
to taste something so sweet
we may forgive that heat
and venture to entreat
that we somehow may meet
in the vastness between
our mistakes and our dreams?
Jan 2019 · 307
wished away
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
i would like back
every penny
that i threw
in the well
for you
i would have twice what i cost you
Jan 2019 · 387
stolen breath
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
i had forgotten how to breathe, darling,
since i first laid eyes on you
until now
when finally
you look back at me
and you fill my lungs
and you circulate throughout my body
i couldn't rid myself of you if i tried
i gasp for you with every breath
all i can do is pray
that you will not be poisonous
Jan 2019 · 171
living dream
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
if we dreamed together
would you see
what i see?
would your feet leave the ground?
would my words color the sky
the way yours always have?
would you feel time
as it slows smoothly to a stop?
would you see the electricity
between us?
i hope you would dream
what i have dreamed
for last time i slept
when i finally
opened my eyes
there stood my dream
Jan 2019 · 194
scattered hopes
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
i searched for you
in the shiny hopes and dreams
i'd buried deep beneath the ground
with my bare hands, i
dug them up
with my eyes closed, i
shaped something
that might look like you
it kept me good company, anyway
it was all i wanted
but you were not.
you burned through
my illusory image
so furiously intense
that for a split second
i was convinced
you were all i needed
Jan 2019 · 166
mirage
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
We do not say
what we mean, because
what we mean is so heavy
and gravity is so real.
We are not strong.
We cannot utter the words
that press so heavily on our tongues
until they gag us –
instead, we savor those
artificial sweeteners as
every day we grow thinner
and make no progress
toward lifting the weight of truth.
It bides its time in that dark corner
listening to the tales we spin
laughing at our efforts to clothe ourselves
with lies.
Once in a while it pokes out its head
timidly
but we are too prone
to smacking its ugly head
back into submission
and talking louder, louder, louder
Jan 2019 · 127
untitled
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
my life is yet untitled
and i do not want your name
scrawled across the cover
when you did not
sit here, writing
for hours
through splattered ink
and broken lead
and calloused fingers
and cramping hand –
that was me.
yet i continue
to doodle your name
in the margins of my pages
i am slowly realizing
i am the author of this book
i am not obligated to you
i am pulling out my eraser
because i have work to do
Jan 2019 · 254
poetry
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
like me, you are
made of words
so will you
embrace
your roots?
Jan 2019 · 482
11:11
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
in months past
at this time, i'd be
laying on my roof
watching the stars
listening to you
talking with you.

a younger me
wished for such nights
the older me
wishes she could have back
the hours of sleep she lost

"make a wish"
me to you,
you to me

i thought you were my dream come true
but i could have wished for anything in the world
and i still would have gotten
you
Jan 2019 · 510
the earth keeps spinning
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
we do not watch
the sunrise because
we wonder if that beautiful, burning star
will ever reach its pinnacle
we watch the sunrise
for the ever-shifting hues
we dare not watch the sun itself
a futile pursuit, as our eyes
could not follow it
and our minds are familiar
with its well-traveled path
and fate has lifted the sun
up to its peak
every day, since the dawn of time
and destiny will bring it back down
below the horizon
every day
until the dusk of eternity
Jan 2019 · 173
watch me swim
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
i thought of you
as i sat on the floor of the ocean
i could hear you
"open your eyes"
oh, the serendipitous sights i would see!
if only i would listen to you
"just breathe in"
i had yet not dared
to inhale
my lungs had started to burn —
a breath would surely suffice.
i felt you in every inch
of my body
in places that i did not want you
that i had never invited you
the pressure was great
there, on the floor of the ocean
i console myself now:
perhaps
he never knew of what he spoke
perhaps
you still do not know
or worse
perhaps
you knew all along
Jan 2019 · 157
to us.
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
fear was all we knew
before we had the displeasure
of making ourselves known
to this perpetually unfamiliar world

(and it to us)
but here we are
always chasing satisfaction -

satisfaction
always two steps ahead of
fear,
satisfaction
teasing us with
greed

now fear is not
all we know
but we cannot say
that it is any less present
for fear is the unknown –
and each day we know more and more
that we know nothing at all
Jan 2019 · 197
wasted words
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
i fell in love
with words
long before
i ever thought
i loved you
so maybe it should have been a sign
when you never
cared about my words
did you ever really care about me?
Jan 2019 · 166
wasted wishes
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
at night i mourn
for the shooting stars
that we saw
all those wishes
wasted
wishing for each other
and i wonder
if i had never told you
all the things i wished for
would they have
just maybe
come true?
but i think the constellations
agreed, as they
watched us fall
we were always destined to crash and burn
Jan 2019 · 148
testing the waters
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
what for the shallow waters
that we called love?
the kiddie pools that
kept our tears salty?
we should have looked on
to bigger whirlpools and stormy seas
with welling gratitude
for our wading pools
instead, there we splashed
like children,
making believe
that our ships were sinking
that we were drowning
that we had to save each other
it was long overdue
when i stood up
stepped out
and dried myself off
a lifetime ago
Jan 2019 · 238
big little world
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
How indignantly
human hearts have hammered
pounding our fists
in the air
against the wall
across the years
raising our voices
until we rasp,
struggling valiantly,
to carry out our each and every end.
Alas, we shift a balance
that will never weigh entirely in our favor.
We castigate the society
that we comprise:
waiting, demanding, crying
for our fellow citizens
to liberate themselves from their terrible ignorance.
How dare they look on with such apathy!
Yet latent affections lie dormant
under our doormats
where we sweep them
to be trampled underfoot, day after day.
For we have found that choice issues
are better handled by the foot
than by the mouth.
Still our mouths continue to shout
over the protests of their counterparts
their fuel, our hasty hearts.
We exist in a state of hypocrisy, as it is
none of us above the other –
we ride our flighty opinions
into clouds of superiority, perhaps some of us
above reason.
Here we cannot be touched
by opposition or criticism
and from our lofty elevation
we aim to shape the earth.
Jan 2019 · 944
all the art you are
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
he was the art
of deception
of deftly crafted artifice
of reading between the lines
he was the art
of speeding cars
of lightning
of roaring flames

but you
honey, you are art
of a different kind

you are the art
of the first light of dawn
of the stars winking in the inky night
of the sun showers on saturday afternoon
you are the art
of drizzling rain
of cold coffee and creamer
of simplistic precision
i could marvel at you for days
Jan 2019 · 291
who are you?
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
i want to read you
cover to cover
but for the first time
i find it so difficult
to read
so often i have tried
to copy you down
but my pen and paper
do not know the words
that fit you
the way you deserve

i want to hear you
beginning to end
so often i have tried
to find the song
that sounds as sweet as you
but the notes and rhythms
cannot compose a melody
that fits you
the way you deserve

i want to see you
frame to frame
every brushstroke and hue
that are ingrained
in your composition
so often i have tried
to paint your lovely temperament
but this paintbrush and canvas
cannot quite capture a picture
that fits you
the way you deserve

my fruitless attempts at replicating
the art that is you
have only taught me
that in the end
it is solely
reality
that fits you
Jan 2019 · 256
advice for her, ii
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
be careful
near the fire
for i can see your heart
on your sleeve
and neither fire
nor gravity
nor time
will stop
to save you
and it is far too easy
to lose your balance
so if you are not convinced
by my words
then please believe
these burns
on my heart
Jan 2019 · 196
blinded by you
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
i clawed out
my eyes
so i would cry
no more
so i could finally see
everything
you weren't
and i will never
be able to see
anything
the way i used to
Jan 2019 · 481
she
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
she
she is soft.
so some will see her
and long to hold her in their hands
to skim her surface
others know
she is breakable
bendable
movable
malleable
some will see that she is soft and stretch her
until she silently screams
for sweet solitude again
so see her softness and
show her some sympathy
Jan 2019 · 240
you, them, us
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
you are not
the sun
you are not
the moon
you are most certainly not 
the earth
you must learn
as i did
(when you were once my whole world)
you are a star
yet
you are one 
of seven billion

the day you realize
that humans
are so carefully crafted
so delicately designed
so infinitely intricate
will be the day 
you start to treat them
the right way
Jan 2019 · 178
a broken heart
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
a broken heart
is the look on her face
as she showed him
her heart
and immediately
realized
he was looking at someone else

for so long
his rhythm
was all that her heart
listened to
and eventually
it forgot
how to beat on its own
a broken heart
Jan 2019 · 195
killing the cat
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
the day we walked in the woods
curiosity was stronger
than i was
as i opened my mouth
thirsty for your spoonfuls
of poison
it dripped from your fingertips
each time you wiped away my tears

soon my vision
had bidden me farewell
how was i to resist
the only voice i could hear
anymore
when it belonged
to the last boy
i ever saw
Jan 2019 · 410
willpower
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
Willpower is strong
especially in us
but we cannot will
the world to stop spinning
the sun to stop shining
the tides to stop rising
the wind to stop blowing
the clock to stop ticking.

Willpower is strong
but darling,
we will never
rewrite
fate.
Jan 2019 · 478
flower flour flower flour
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
the next girl
should get bouquets of flowers
not fistfuls of flour
flung in her face
choking her,
blinding her,
burning her lungs

please
give her flowers
do not deceive her
as you did
me
Jan 2019 · 134
spring cleaning
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
After you moved out
I cleaned my house
top to bottom
I rid it
of every little thing
you threw away
here.
I found pieces of myself
that now bear your name
etched deep
a permanent reminder
of you.

Some things I could not bring myself
to burn.
Those I locked away
up in my attic
invisible to my mind's eye
yet there nonetheless.

Now others walk through my house
wondering how lonely
I must be
but I have long needed
living space
for myself.

So as I sit here
just my thoughts and
me,
I cannot help but wonder
what did I leave
in your house?
Jan 2019 · 337
a dream & ice cream
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
i twisted together the little white flowers
into a crown
for you
watched your face light up
started to blush
after all, they're only weeds
but you
wore them like a prince
opened my door like a gentleman
rolled our windows down
turned up my favorite song
it doesn't matter if we know
all the words
summer is short
and those little white flowers
won't be around for long
Jan 2019 · 150
regression
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
Months I spent
building our dream
on the words you spoke
your promises,
my solid foundation.
You watched me labor,
encouraged me.
It was a beautiful dream,
but I did not know
it had always been larger than reality.
You were never interested
in something so fantastic.
The sigh I breathed
was enough to send it
crumbling to the ground
and reveal underneath
the rocks that I had built upon
were sand from the beginning.
Jan 2019 · 402
side by side
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
I dreamt of two trains running parallel.
They could see each other, hear each other, feel each other, but they could never get any closer or farther apart.
The tracks stretched on for miles and miles and miles with no change in direction in sight.
The trains run together side by side - together, yet lonely.
The trains can only hope that someday, the tracks might bring them closer together.
Jan 2019 · 142
it was a pleasure to burn.
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
For years I dreamed in black and white
then you appeared
flaming red
burning quickly and furiously

I couldn't take my eyes off of you
you were the only color I knew.

But fire was foreign to me
its warmth so intense
I should have known better
than to stick my hand in.

You should have told me.

The feeling of your fire on my hands
the sight of my burned skin
brought tears to my eyes
and I begged for my shades of black and white

but colors are sights we cannot unsee
feelings we cannot forget
words we cannot keep quiet.

I learned not to look too long at you
for the spots in my vision that followed
I learned not to mistake hellfire
for heaven's white lights
I have discovered other colors since
none of which have yet blinded me
quite like you.

My skin has healed from your fire
my nerves are far less sensitive.
The rain washed away
my last sentiments for you
and in its wake
a rainbow waits.
Jan 2019 · 205
drowning in shallow water
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
I have scorned vulnerability
yet it was with heavy heart
and guilty conscience
that I learned
it is much easier
to laugh at tears
than to wipe them away
Jan 2019 · 167
my journey to you
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
I walked for miles to get here
suffered blisters and beating sun
a torn piece of notebook paper crumpled in my hand
I waited at your doorstep
hesitation always by my side
reading the words on the paper over and over again.
I waited on you
was I a fool, blindly hoping?
Or were you cruel, crushing trust?
The truth is probably somewhere in between.
I didn't doubt your good intentions
until I pounded on your door
with shaking hands
waited
waited
no response.
It was later I learned
you'd moved across the city -
a more determined woman
would square her shoulders
pick up her paper
and walk the distance.
But I am not she
I am just a girl
my feet ache
the sun has burned my skin
and after all I have given you
I should not be chasing you.
Jan 2019 · 228
dream in the dark
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
We dream in the dark
too close to our hearts
to be hidden from view
to be scattered askew
like the raindrops that fall
through windows, down walls
aside bleak shooting stars
that land somewhere too far
away from our hearts,
as we dream in the dark.

We dream in the dark,
finding it hard to see
what's in front of ourselves
equally cluelessly.
It's funny how different
we see things in this light -
I'm dreaming at midday,
you're dreaming at night.
I stood next to you
as we walked down the street
you watched people pass by
and I watched our feet.
I thought you might hear
the thoughts my mind screamed
I forgot you weren't listening
I forgot that we dreamed.
I forgot, since the start
we have dreamed in the dark.

We dream in the dark,
we dream and we paint
now in this state of mind
I might lose track of fate
I don't see the sun rising
for the colors and strokes
I don't hear the clock ticking
for the words that you spoke.
But still, time will exist
as well as will fate
regardless of us
and our ignorant state.
I can sleep days away
I can close my mind's eye
and it won't change a thing
it won't buy any time.
So I hide the same thoughts
in the back of my mind
for a stormier day
for a much colder night
hide the dangerous art
that I dream in the dark.
Jan 2019 · 215
spacing out
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
The Moon crept into the sky
softly shone on the streets at night
peering over the horizon
waiting on the Sun.
She soaked in his light
felt his warmth from thousands of miles; 
reverently she reflected his rays.

Her glow was gentle
she waited at dawn and dusk
as he rose on the horizon
she ducked away.

There were other stars in the galaxy
but gravity kept her in orbit
her light was a whisper
his was a crowd cheering
she dared not inch closer
she knew she would burst into flame.

Each day they watched the same earth
she danced around it, hoping to catch his gaze
he kept his distance
as well he should.

Sometimes she watched shooting stars
and wished that she might join them
but falling is dangerous
and there was nowhere for her to land.
Jan 2019 · 171
reflected reality
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
Last night I dreamed
you were next to me
curiously close
I could hear you think:
how did you tell me things
that I never knew?
Are those really your feelings
or my concept of you?
There's a fragment of you
in the back of my mind
but I'm lost as to
whether it's yours or mine.
Last night I dreamed
little things that you said
but in waking hours
it's all in my head.
Little things that you said
that I want to be real
buried somewhere beneath
things I try not to feel-
now I'm left to decipher
what fate has to say
for I found, while I dreamed,
that you lay awake.
Jan 2019 · 196
pyromania
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
fire danced
so elegantly
in your eyes

while my house was burning

and the match
was clenched between
your teeth
Jan 2019 · 179
to look at you
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
One-sided glass keeps your eyes from mine
hides half-remembered words from another day.
every excuse I've made to cover myself
never feels like your touch should.
Selfish desires burn the ground beneath my feet
but your footsteps echo in another room
where the blood doesn't pound in your veins,
where the glass shows you yourself.
And maybe my fists could shatter that glass,
but I don't want to face
the look in your eyes
the red on my knuckles
my nerves screaming
my breath coming short
when you take up all the air in the room.
No, I'm staying over here
calling it biding my time,
watching sand rush through the hourglass,
trying to compensate for the days I spend
pretending that you can see me,
staring at the smudges my hands have left on the glass.
Yes, I'm staying over here
while they tell me I'm wasting my time
waiting for you to remember
those half-forgotten words from another day.
Jan 2019 · 534
my only sunshine
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
It rained
and rained
for months on end
I was fine with the rain
until I was standing
alone
and it began to storm.
I was shaking
beneath the weight
of my umbrella
that I stubbornly clung to
until one day
rain, rain
finally
it went away
never
to come another day
everyone told me
the skies could only get bluer
and the sun
proved them right
as it broke
through the clouds
and I saw
a rainbow:
you.
Jan 2019 · 147
advice for her
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
Do not convince yourself
that dreaming is loving
do not make the mistake
of falling in love with a moment
and thinking that you're in love
the memories become daydreams
the daydreams become feelings
but those daydreams are a shadow
and those feelings are shallow
do not lose yourself
in the idea of love.
Jan 2019 · 1.2k
lavender
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
I was never much one for lavender
until you told me
it was your favorite
and suddenly
its sweet, sweet scent swept through
my room
my clothes
my hair
I held my breath
waiting for you to notice
(you never did say anything)
I kept it close to me
never asking myself
if I liked the way it smelled
it was your favorite.

— The End —