When my feelings are twisted and my mind distorted,
Hand me a knife
Hand me a knife to slice away my sorrow
To distract my depression with blood
To remember the number of times I felt miserable
One scar at a time
Hand me a knife to tear open my skin
So some of the sewage of my body can leave through the opening that I make
Don’t worry
It does not hurt when I make the cut
It only burns a little afterwards
I promise the knife will not get close to my throat
or at least I don’t think so
You don’t have to see the cuts
They can hide under my sleeves
Just hand me a knife!
You will never suspect I used it
It will not be the first time
It will not be the last time
That I paint a silver knife with my own blood
I promise it will be fast
I will cut,
Wash the knife,
And greet you the next morning
As if nothing ever happened

Do not tell me your secrets.
Do not open your heart.
I have done same mistakes.
The boundaries that you erase
for the sake of love,
can never be made again.
It is a sad thing to bear
for you will always feel the hands
of your love
whispering of death.
They leave everytime
and yet death doesn’t come.

I can feel it
The warmth of your fingers
Filling the chill
Of the crevices between my own
Wrapping around the back of my hand
Your palm embracing mine
Like I've never known
"Perpetually cold"
I often excuse
But now I know they've just been sleeping
Waiting for the warmth of real love
To wake them up.

God, I need your direction.
I have never in my life
been as confused as I am
right now this current second.

Lord, You know my heart.
You know my intentions are pure.
Why can't I hear you?
Why aren't you showing me?

Jesus, I want to do what's right.
Show me where to go.
Lead me in the way
your plan says I should.

Holy Spirit, be my guide.
This what I pray.
Take my very hand in yours
and lead me along the way.

The cut on my inner palm.

It reminds me of the night you told me that
you thought we'd be better off going on our own paths,
and how my blood didn't seep as deeply into life's cloth
as your longing for someone new was aching above the surface.

I am a paper girl with words on my skin and ink in my veins
I am a open book with stories to be told and secrets inside
I am a god of words with rhymes in my heart and a healing song
I am a comforting touch with a soft hand and a light peck on the cheek
I am a poet and with passion I enlighten the world with my resolution