I'm waiting for my mother
I twiddle my thumbs idlly
I'm trying to look away from
The chocolate bar that's staring at me

"Look at me!" It whispers softly
I'm struggling to avert my eyes
"You'll feel better when you eat me" it
says
With an effort, I ignore its lies

I walk around the chocolate shop
Like a predator circling it's prey
This temptation is just too great!
My feet can't seem to walk away

"Eat me! Eat me!" The chocolate chants
Someone save me from this torture!  
"Don't leave me all alone" it says
I can't take this anymore

Suddenly, my phone rings
My mother has finally arrived!
I turn my my back on the chocolate
My face glows with pride

I didn't succumb to my desire
I did it! I resisted!
I held on, I stayed strong
Even when the chocolate insisted

I smile as I reach the car
I'll tell my mother about my ordeal
I think of how proud she'll be
And of how happy I will feel

But before I utter a single word,
She hands a packet, beaming wide
She says "look what I got for you!"
I can't wait to see what's inside!

A prize for resisting temptation?
Oooh! What could it be?
I open the packet and look inside
And a big fat chocolate stares back at me!

She stands before the class
Her voice rings loud and clear
Each word beautifully enunciated
For all who wish to hear

The perennial English teacher
She reads with such dramatics and flair
Such a pity that its only noticed
by students in the first few chairs

She's reading out my poem
She paints pictures with her words
But honestly? Sometimes I find
Her explanations quite absurd

No, That's not what I meant!  
Dear teacher, stop twisting my verse!
Dear students,  please notice the flaws
In the story she so carefully rehearsed

It's amazing how sometimes she understands
The thought and feelings of what I wrote
And sometimes she gets it so very wrong
That I want to strangle her throat

She continues unperturbed
By the lack of interest in the room
Students only see her smile and energy
Not her disappointment and gloom

She worked so hard to teach them,
A little appreciation would go far!
But they just sit and pretend to listen
As they wait for the end for the hour

Finally, she comes across
That fateful line
The one that sparks a discussion
I watch the class come to life

In a tsunami of opinions,
She smiles proudly, riding the wave
She launches into her explanation
And it's the completely wrong one she gave

Its one of many misinterpretations
Of my carefully crafted work
There! That student! She understands what I meant!
Now now, don't tell her she's wrong. Don't be a ****!

A debate ensues and words fly
The classroom divides into two.
Half are on my side, dear teacher
And the other half believe you.

Out of the blue, the bell rings
For once the students want more time!
A pat on the back for the English teacher.
This victory is both hers and mine

So what if she gets it wrong sometimes?
So what what if she's too dramatic?  
Sometimes she's just unreasonable
She's your average literature fanatic

She always gets her point across
Without having to scream and shout
She teaches the students the value of words
Isn't that what it's all about?

The sun shines as I fly;
As I fly  high, as I fly low
There is a question on my mind
'Where is it that I'm trying to go?'

I make some noise, I spread my wings
I join my peers in an aimless flight.
I ask myself; Where is my purpose?
It's not before me. It's not in sight.

The eagles hunts the rats
The vulture eats what remains
The parrot sings with its pretty wings
And I sit, in my nest, all grey and plain

My friends, my brothers and all the others
Never feel that something is amiss
We have no role or goal or greater calling
Is our purpose just to exist?

The humans don't seem to like us
Other birds think they're superior
We eat worms and spread germs
Our other talents are unclear.

We sit, We sleep,  We ****, We eat
An endless mundane routine
Sometimes,  I feel there must be more;
That our purpose is there, it's just unseen

There must be a reason for our creation
We can't be such a usless species
We're just a nusiance to the world
Finding answers won't be easy.

My mind is made; I begin my journey.
What is my purpose? I must know!
Over the trees, the sun sets
As I fly high, as I fly low.

She sees him standing on the train,
On his face, a thoughtful look
He stands out in his fancy suit
Like an interesting cover of a closed book

He sees her sitting on the train,
Her bright red sweater catches his eye
Her face is buried in a book
She looks up and starts to smile

He smiles back, they start to talk.
He speaks about his love for trains
She talks about her favourite movie
Slowly, he tells her that he paints

She talks about her English class
And how bright her students are
He talks about his latest paintings
And the gallery that made an offer

They chat for what seems like hours
He's never  talked so much
Finally, her stop arrives, shes tell him
"Let's keep in touch"

He sits at night, stares at his easel
To call her now, is it too late?
His father calls, "How was the meeting?"
He tells him that it was just great

She sits at home preparing
For tomorrow morning's class
Her phone rings and she grins
The Painter called, at last!

Silly humans, why can't they see,
The web I weave so carefully?
How will my children ever eat
If they don't control their clumsy feet?

Why can't they see as they walk?
So wrapped up in their silly talks,
Into my precious web they go,
With their loud squaks and bellows!

They scare my children half to death
Why can't they be quiet instead?
No respect for the home they destroyed;
In fact they leave feeling annoyed!

So self righteous these humans are
With that attitude,  they won't get far.
Surely evolution will wipe them out!
All they do is shriek and shout.

There they go into my web again
The one I rebuild with such care and pain,
Not a thought given to my efforts!
This selfish race really should suffer!

I'm outraged by this behaviour
Oh other insects, please be my saviour!
They squash and trample us all the time
I'll give them a piece of my mind!!

Friends, there's strength in numbers
Their underestimation is their blunder
Slowly,  I'll let my evil plans unfurl
Soon, the cockroaches and I will take over the world!

"I want to be a boxer" he said
Stomping his foot, his face red.
Angry at God for not making it happen
Now! Before his resolve does slacken

"I've got the skills for it." he whines
He neglects his practice half the time
He doesn't realise, it seems,
The difference between a hobby and a dream

"I've won many a fight!" he shouts
Those brawls with friends don't really count.
He did once won the junior championship
And into each conversation, he lets that slip.

"I can make it!" he says, His gloats, incessant
His actions, childish, His views, arrogant.
“Life’s so unfair!” he always cries
Though with all his heart, he never tries

He’s chasing the rush of winning a battle
But at the thought of war, his courage rattles
“If only I could follow my dream…” he muses  
One day perhaps he’ll run out of excuses

His wistful eyes gaze at boxing rings,
Lost in the visions of glory they bring.
“It’s my calling.” He brags, unable to see
The clear path leading him to his “destiny”

On self -made hurdles, he always trips.
It seems on reality he’s losing his grip.
In this mind, there is ample confusion
On the difference between a dream and delusion

As time passes, one day it’ll be clear
That all that stopped him was his own fear
But until then, he lets the truth be unheard
For isn’t it easier to keep blaming the world?

She walks in the rain, annoyed
As the hair she combed so perfectly
Dances freely with the wind,
A tangled mess; wild and unruly

She zips her jacket till her chin
As she continues on her path
It's another feeble attempt to
Shield herself from the clouds wrath

She walks, sidestepping puddles
Her brand new boots caked with muck
She reaches the bus stop, cursing
The dreary weather in which she's stuck

She waits for the bus, impatient
As raindrops fall upon her face
Oh, how she hates the icy breeze
That knocks her hood out of its place!

She waits; half drenched, half frozen
As thunder roars from the skies
As though haughtily boasting about
All the umbrellas that it's destroyed

Finally, the bus arrives;
Her saviour, her salvation!!!
Now she braces herself for
The long long ride to her destination.

He drives along the empty road
Till his headlights fall upon the deer
He stops, inches from its body.
Its dark eyes widen with fear.
Hazel brown eyes: Just like his daughter’s

He blares his horn repeatedly
To scare it off with the loud sound
A vain attempt; the stag stays
Unmoving, it holds its ground.
Obstinate creature: Just like his daughter.

He groans in frustration,
The animal stares in silence;
Its eyes shine with a hint of anger
It’s stance the picture of defiance  
Quietly rebellious: Just like his daughter.

Through his window, he shouts at it
To move off the narrow road
But the deer just stands, looking confused,
Instead of running off to its abode
It doesn’t understand: Just like his daughter.

Doesn’t it know to run away?
He’s never seen such behaviour;
Such a myriad of emotions  
Expressed by a simple deer.
It’s an enigma: Just like his daughter.

He looks helplessly at the deer,
Unsure of what will happen now
He’s almost out of options but
He knows he’ll find a way somehow.
After all, he never gives up: Just like his daughter.

She stands on the sandy beach
Her hands shake; she’s afraid
She steels herself with a breath
And into the ocean she starts to wade

Her brother jumps in, dauntlessly
“The sharks will get you!” he jokes
She ignores him, she knows the truth.
Sharks don’t attack unprovoked

She stares at the endless blue
Who knows what really lies beneath?
She walks with slow, hesitant steps
Into the ocean till she’s in waist deep

A brush against her leg, she jumps,
Shrieks and falls under,
A giant wave hits the beach,
She sits up and looks in wonder

On the ocean floor, a starfish sleeps
Its fins moves, she’s fascinated
A crab goes by with its sideways gait,
By the busy shore, she’s captivated

Tiny coloured gems shine on the beach
As if just waiting to be discovered
Shells of all shapes and sizes,
Waiting to be kept and treasured.

A small wave splashes her gently,
Sand and salt water everywhere,
Nothing to be scared of; she decides
She’s found her perfect spot right there.

No need to go any further
Into the ocean; into the unknown
Her friends make sandcastles nearby,
And she sits there happily, on her own.

He steps forward from the shadows
His eyes shine with glee
As he reaches for the soul of the man
Who just departed dearly

Black clad people surround him
The Grim Reaper blends in just right
The dead man's soul walks towards him
He claps his hands with delight

"A new friend to play with!" he thinks
He's really starved for company
All the souls around him just mourn
For the lives they didn't live fully

No one ever thinks of him,
Doing this deary job
All day and night, without complaint
Bearing the hatred of the mob.

Everytime he collects a soul,
He thinks 'this will be one'
To look past his black robes and scythe,
Then he can finally have some fun.  

Bus alas, its seems as though,
It's just not meant to be
The Grim Reaper roams the realms,
Dejected and lonely.

No one realises that
He's just misunderstood
He's neither vicious nor cruel
He's always judged based on his looks

So next time you feel sad and alone,
Multiply that by infinity
Then you'll have a little idea of
How the poor Grim Reaper feels!

His mother sits on the white bed
All the tests have been run
The doctor stands ready to tell him
The diagnosis has been done

The doctors speaks and he's saying
The words he's dreaded for so long
He wants to run away and cry
But she needs him  to be strong

He chokes back his tears
He really doesn't know what to do
He curses the fact that it's his mother
That cancer's sunk its claws into

More visits and tests lie ahead
His ordeal has now begun
He tries to take comfort in the fact
That they caught it at Stage One

But no number of reassurances
Can shake his fear away
At night, he prays feverently
"Please make this cancer leave today."

He never believed in God
But now he's lost faith in science
They try their best to **** the beast
But Cancer stares back in defiance

His mother talks of happy memories
It feels like she's saying goodbye
He tries to laugh while he holds her hamd
But tears keep flowing from his eyes

"I can beat this" his mother says
She smiles her gentle motherly smile
He feels his fear lessen a bit
He'll stay with her till the last mile

He'll laugh and smile and stay strong for her
Come what may in the end
God and science abandoned him
So instead, he'll just believe in her strength

You lie asleep on your bed
The monsters wait underneath;
To grab you with their scaly hands.
They smile with their crooked teeth

The gremlins dance in the shadows
As your closed eyes start to dream
They crawl along your room, just
Waiting to pounce; to make you scream

In your slumber, you don't hear,
Fingernails drag across your window
By the bony hands of a hooded figure;
The ghost of a soldier's widow.

Safe and warm in your blanket,
You sleep completely unware
Of the howling trees and tortured wails Carried along by the cold nights air

You rest, immersed in your dream,
You don't hear your floorboards creek
Or smell the stench of a ghouls breath
Or see the sights that would make you shriek

You sleep, all cozy and snug
You think that everything's alright
Oblivious you are to all the creatures
And things that go bump in the night

The sun rises and back into
Their holes and corners they scurry.
You awaken, well rested and fresh
And continue on without a worry.

You'll never know what went on
While you dreamed of happy times
The horrors that once lurked in your room
Wait, hidden,  for a chance to strike...

Run till you feel your heart start to beat
Run till it beats to the rythm of your feet
Run till you feel you pulse in your ears
Run till you've run past all of your fears
Run run run till your mind starts to soar
Run till you can't run anymore


Run till you feel the sun on your skin
Run to the furthest you've ever been
Run till you feel your limbs start to burn
Run to the prize you've been trying to earn
Run run run till your inhibitions fall
Run till you can't run anymore


Run till you feel your tears start to dry
Run till you feel you can reach the sky
Run when you feel like you don't have a chance
Run for the times that you gave up your plans
Run run run  feel it deep in your core
Run till you can't run anymore

Run till you feel your sweat start to drip
Run when you feel you're losing your grip
Run till you don't feel so lost and alone
Run till you feel the power in your bones
Run run run till you know for sure.
Run till you can't run anymore.


Run with the ones who've been there from the start
Run for the dreams that live in your heart
Run till you've past all the negative ones
Run from the words "it can never be done"
Run run run, far from where you've been before
Run for the ones who can't run anymore

He watches, sitting on the raft,
As the rapids near at a fast pace
He clutches his paddle tightly
With a look of terror etched on his face

His friends sit around him
Laughing,  cheering,  ready for action
He starts to regret his  
Decision to come by a tiny fraction

Their guide warns them to be ready
Now begins the battle
Of the raft against the rapids
His only weapon is his paddle

They hit the rapids with a giant splash
His friends shriek with delight
The raft bumps; up and down and up again.  
He holds on with all his might

Water splashes his focused face,
As he paddles along furiously.
So sure he is that the raft will flip
While his friends shout out in ecstacy.

Finally,  calmness decends
The rapids end at last
He takes a deep breath of relief
His heart is still beating fast

The raft moves on the placid water
His friend exclaims, "Wasn't that fun?!"
He doesn't say how scared he was
He just laughs along with everyone.

I try to quell my fear
As the keys jingle in my hand
It's just a drive to the metro station
A drive that was completely unplanned

I slide into the drivers seat
Seat belt on, keys in the ignition
'I can do this' I think
This is, to the roads, my initiation

My father sits besides me
He's at his absolute calmest
My sister sits with a steeled expression
As if bracing for a raging tempest

I enter onto the main road
With a bit of a ****, we're on our way
I shift to third and start to relax
Today is going to be good day

Just as my confidence grows,
We encounter a little bit of traffic
Back to second gear,  we go
Oops, I just ran over a brick!

With papa's advice egging me on
We continue our journey
A formidable flyover looms before us
I tell myself to not be jittery

We enter a sea of slow moving cars
I'm just praying I don't stall
But alas! I do. Quickly, lets go!
I don't want to be honked at by all

I know an underpass will come next
Its just another hurdle to cross
I clutch the steering wheel tightly
Can I really do this? I'm at a loss

I try to suggest a different route
My father shoots down that idea
Failure is not an option
Message received loud and clear.

I pass the underpass without a hitch
My destination is on the left
Indicator, shoulder, switch lanes and stop
In a movement which I hope was deft.

I turn off the car and put the handbrake up
I did it! Hip hip Hurray!
I grin as I stand and watch
The car I drove drive away

Hello Inspiration,  
Where have you been, my friend?
You finally showed yourself after
Teasing me for months on end

People ask me all the time
Why I no longer pick up the pen.
All that will change now, wouldn't it?
Now that you're back again

Where did you go, Inspiration?
You left me feeling so incomplete
I kept trying to bring you back
I never did suceed

You ran away so hard and fast
Left an emptiness I didn't recognise
If I look away, will you run again?
I'm afraid to close my eyes.

It's good to see you, old friend.
We have a lot of catching up to do
But if I let go of your hand,
You won't abandon me, will you?

If I get busy with other things,
If I don't respond to you at once,
Will you dissappear like you did before?
Or will you give me a second chance?

You came back so suddenly
That I just have to ask
Are you here just to tease me?
Or is this going to last?

I have so many questions for you
Why? When? Where? And how?
But first, let's celebrate your return
And make the best of what we have now

Stop for a moment and look
As closely as you can at me.
Now, do you see the difference between
Who I really am and who you see?

You see someone who hasn't existed
For many many years now
It'll be hard to get her back but
I know you'll manage somehow

You'll push and push till she appears
Whether I like it or not.
She's a better person in your eyes
I only resemble her somewhat

She's charming,  smart and confident.
I'm just a work in progress.
She's the one to get work done
I was her once and now I've regressed.

So sure you are that you know me
When I myself have no clue
Maybe you see things in me that I don't
Maybe someday I'll see them through you.

Everytime you tell me to be her
The confidence I've built starts to shake
What if I can't be what you want?  
I'll be just another mistake you made.

I'm more scared of what you think of me
Than what the world has to say
They're not the ones who raised me
And loved me everyday.

Everytime we talk, I'm looking for
The answers that will make you proud
Sometimes,  I keep in what I really feel
Sometimes I don't know what you're talking about.

You think I lost myself somewhere
I think you don't like who I've become
"Ordinary,  average, mediocre,
A girl who just wants to have fun"

These words you've used to describe me now.
You just want the old me back.
You want me to want to be her again
She's the epitome of everything I lack.  

You don't see how hard I'm trying
You just want the end result
You don't see me as I am
You just see who I can become.

Your eyes are filled with longing
As you see her move across the stage;
The dancer sways to the music
With serene beauty and grace

Remember those dreams you had as a child?
Remember when you believed
That the ******* stage could be you,
That dancing was  your destiny?

Somewhere when you were "growing up"
You told yourself you couldn't be
The shining star; that one in a million
You lost faith in all your dreams

You watch the dancer spin to the music;
She moves like an angel in the night.  
Through the crowd, she smiles at you;
You feel your passion reignite

Remember those dreams you had as child?
Once again, they burn in your heart
But so many years have passed
You don't know where or how to start.

You'd lost your way and wandered
Far from all the hopes you had
Now you push past all your doubts
You dance till there's no going back

You work harder than you did before,
You tell yourself dreams can come true
You dance with all your heart and soul
Till that moment comes for you

Remember those dreams you had as a child?
Now they feel so very real.  
Finally you stand on the stage
To show them all your skill and zeal

You dance with gay abandon
You forget the eyes that watch you
You move flawlessly to the music
This is what you were meant to do

The crowd rises; a standing ovation
With tears of joy, you take your bow
Remember those dreams you had as a child?
Well, those dreams are real now.

He sees the world in colours
His father sees in black and white
In shades of grey, they get along
He doesn't have the heart to fight

His paintings hang on white walls
His father never did understand.
The world he sees in a canvas
Does not fit his father’s plan

He walks around his perfect house
With all the money and an empty soul
His office chair waits for the morning
His paintings make him whole

He mixes his sorrows with his colours
He paints his desolation
His brush traces the distance between
Where he is and his elation

He pours himself into his art
His every stroke precise and smooth
He transcends this world of pain and sorrow
Into his painting he does elude

He leaves his woes and frustrations
His heart races with delight
He sees his colours come to life
As he paints into the night

Tomorrow he’ll wear his fancy suit
Tomorrow he’ll follow his father’s plan
Tonight he holds his freedom tight
Tonight his is his own man.

He sits, head between his paws
His eyes watch them as they rush
Around so early in the morning
He knows they'll leave soon enough

Last minute packing is happening
Some bags are packed and ready to go
He sits, despondent,  in his corner
When they'll be back, he doesn't know

They pet him gently on his head
He knows they're saying goodbye
They speak in their foreign language
Their voices soothe him for a while

He wags his tail sadly,
He gives their faces a hearty lick
In his own way, he tries to tell them
"Oh please, come back quick!"

They coo and croon at him
They try to get him to play
He sits unmoving,  in a sulk
He knows, in minutes, they'll go away

They won't leave him alone, no.
The maid will keep him company
But it's not the same to him
He'll sorely miss his family

The bags are loaded into the car
He knows he can't come with
Their time to leave has arrived
With a mournful little whine, he sits

They'll come back, they always do
With one last pat, they depart
He listens as their car drives off
Now, his lonely days will start.

He checks his email in frustration
A poem from her lies unread
Another silly string of rhymes
He leaves those bitter words unsaid

Her mother reads her latest poem
With a sense of growing dismay
It's just as bad as the rest of them!
She hopes she'll get better someday.

Her father's almost reached his limit
She's getting worse, it seems
He doesn't have to the heart to wake her
From her silly little dreams

Her sister edits her works trying
to salvage her mess of words
She always wants to recite her poems
They think they're better left unheard

She wants to be published someday
Its a silly little dream of hers
She's oblivious to reality
In her poems, she always immersed

Someone really should tell her.
Its not right to let her go
Down this path of no happy end.
She really ought to know!

But no one wants to be the one
To wipe that smile right off her face
To tell her she's not good enough
She doesn't have what it takes

No one seems to want to pop
Her silly little dream bubble
I guess when she crashes and burns
They'll just pull her out of the rubble

At the crack of dawn, in an open jeep
We sit, as chirpy as the birds
Our eyes wide open, ears perked
Waiting for a call to be heard

We begin our journey, full of hope
The thrill of adventure in the air,
Binoculars at the ready
To meet a tiger's deadly glare

We canter through the dense forest
Through the shallow river and the whispering trees
Past the gentle deer and the mighty elephant
And a sense of danger in the breeze

We wander along the gravel path  
Beneath langoors swinging from the branches,  
And from the grass, the jackal watches,
Patiently resting on its haunches

We drive through twists and turns and ups and downs
The elusive beast refused to be found...
This time our efforts were for nought,
But we'll see him next time around!

I look around my empty room
The walls seems so white and bare
With no trace, no sign, no hint, no clue,
That I was ever there.

As if I were just a shadow
And now the sun's gone down
The room seems smaller now somehow
I take one last look around.

All my bags are packed and ready
I stand quietly at the door
When I return this
Won't be my room anymore

Another student will stay here
Some one else will sit on my desk
My cupboard filled with another's clothes
The though is just grotesque.

I try to swallow the lump in my throat
This room was completely mine
Before this, I had always shared
This room is one of a kind

With a heavy heart,  I say goodbye
To the room in which I survived
My first year of college.
I say farewell with pride

Room 135, Jack Martin 4
You'll always be special to me
My first room as an adult
You'll live strong in my memory

“Everyone goes through this,” they say, comfortingly
“Everyone gets over it.” I hear, disheartened
“So many people care about you.” They say, encouragingly
“Don’t disappoint those who care for you.” I hear, dejected
“You’ve done so much to be proud of!” They say, smiling
“What happened to the you who did things?” I hear, terrified
“This happens to me all the time; don’t worry.” They say, reassuring
“Be better.” I hear. I’m not you. And I’m petrified.  
“These things take time. Be patient.” They say, concerned
“Get over it already.” I hear, numb
“Ignore your brain trying to get you down.” They say, supportive
“Don’t trust yourself.” I hear. Save me. I’m not ok.
I’m afraid of my own feelings.
“This is normal.” They say.
I spend 3 hours just staring at the ceiling.
“Take it one step at a time.”
I feeling like I’m slowly withering away.
“Don’t give up!”
I’m just going through the motions everyday
“See? You’re getting better!” They say, cheerful.
For them, I try
“I’m fine.” I say, hesitant and fearful
They believe me, satisfied.
*I’m a liar.

To write is to be
True to yourself;
Your words are free from lies

To write is find
Meaning and reason
In all your failures and your tries

To write is to see
The world as it is
With all its flaws and glory

To write is to speak
To many at once;
Let your words tell your story

To write is to have
The courage to say
"These words are my creation"

To write is feel
The importance of
Every little event and sensation

To write is fight
For your opinions;
Stand up for what you believe in

To write is to know
What you need to say;
Don't ever let your words be stolen

To write is to look
Beyond yourself
And listen to the stories of others

To write is to let
Your mind run loose;
Let your imagination be free forever!

When you've  run out of tears to cry,
When you want to speak but your throat feels dry,
When every step you take feels like a mile,
When you've lost the will to even smile.
What do you do?

When you wish you could sink into to the floor,
When you feel you can't take anymore,
When you're tired of hearing, "Are you ok?"
When you've drained your stack of lies to say,
What do you do?

When you thought you were done but the feeling comes back,
And slowly your world starts to fade to black
When you just want to stand still in one place
but you're swept into Life's ruthless race
What do you do?

When you feel your emotions taking you for a ride,
When you've  exhausted all your places to hide,
When you itch to bang your head against the wall
or sit in the corner and do nothing at all,
What do you do?

When you can't be free of that throbbing headache,
And sleep seeems like your only escape,
When all you want is to be okay
but Life doesn't really work that way,
What do you do?

I am the mask.
I sit on the shelf, untouched. It’s been so long since she’s used me. The paint on me has started to fade and cracks have appeared all over my body. Yet, I do not complain. I sit quietly and patiently. She will come to me when she needs me. I wait.
When I hear her voice again, my spirits rise.  She is right in front of me. Perhaps this time she’ll use me. She has unintentionally teased me so many times by coming so close and then walking away.
She stands before me, her eyes brimming with tears. She stares at me with despair etched on her face. I attempt to quell my excitement as she contemplates whether to put me on or not. I try not to get my hopes up. She screams and with that final cry of anguish, her decision is made.  Her hands shiver as she reaches for me and presses me against her tear stained cheeks.
She leaves the room smiling as I settle on her face. The cracks on my body are now held together by her misery. The paint on me shines with a fresh coat of her tears. I listen to her laugh as I do my job.
For I am the mask, I am her happy face.

'Let's hang out this weekend' I type
My thumb hovers over send
If I don't press the button,
Will you still be my friend?

2 missed calls from me on your cell
You say you're busy, I understand
If I want you to call me for once,
Is that too much to demand?

I'll smile and laugh and you'll never know
How much it hurts when you don't reply
Some people are just like that, I tell myself.  
It's not enough reason to cry

I want to tell you about my day,
My troubles, my joys and everything in between
I want to know about yours too
But my messages just get left on seen

Would you notice if I don't text you?
Do you even feel my absence?
Yes we've been friends for years,
But I'm running low on patience...

I'll re arrange my plans to meet
When you show up out of the blue
And ignore the voice in my head that says
'Would they do the same for you?'

Days pass and I swallow my pride,
My thumb hovers over send
If I don't press the button
Will you still be my friend?

It's a name we dare not say aloud
It's not one thing, it's many
It flows through endless shapes and forms
And leaves its victims empty.

It's a wrecking ball to your wall of strength
A thief that steals your will to play
An arsonist that burns your smile
A pirate who steers your thoughts astray

It grows as you falter:
An malignant weight upon your chest
A cloud of dark emotions above
An storm of feelings you can't suppress

It's a silent creeping predator,
that dwells inside your brain
And all attempts to tame or shoo
Always ends in vain

It sits on the throne of lies, which you naively believe
Its a famished beast that only feeds on your insecurities

Its an echoing voice in your head
A constant nag saying you're wrong ,
Insistently pointing to the flaws
that you have known all along

It's a leech that ***** away, till you are a shadow of your former self,
Just enough to be recognized,
Not enough to call for help

It's not one thing, It's many.
It's so much more than just 'being sad'
You say it again and again,
But can anyone really understand?