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Jan 2018 · 2.1k
Afraid of love
sanjana goel Jan 2018
Yes she was fragile.
Yes she had a fake smile.

People conjectured her life was a dream come true
Did anyone ever come to ask her out of the blue?

No, her life wasn’t a fairy tale.
For every time she tried to stay happy, she failed
They may call it a castle but it was definitely a jail

Who knew behind the smile was craving,
Inside she was asking for one saving.  

Han, you got it right he was just another stud
Trying to take off the petals from the bud      The situation was just like a prisoned bird.  

As tears rolled down her red cheeks
She wondered what she seeks.

This was not how she wanted it to happen.
For life was even more darkened.

She knew she wasn’t happy,
But she didn’t want to make her life more shabby.

She kept trying to fight that grudge,
And started to live on that chocolate fudge.

This was not what her heart was wanting
Every time she closed her eyes her brain was shouting.

Maybe he wasn’t bad after all
Maybe he didn’t want her to fall.

But it was too late to decide,
Lying in her bed she just wanted to hide.

Life had left her with no option
Maybe it was time for another love adoption.

Yes, she was fragile
Yes she had a fake smile.

She tried! She tried to build that spark,
But she couldn’t, maybe because they had different hearts.
Mar 2015 · 866
To let it go
sanjana goel Mar 2015
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring;
It means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off...
It's the realization that I can't control another...
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,
It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
Mar 2015 · 618
Afraid of love
sanjana goel Mar 2015
He has so much to say
With each passing day
His life turns grey

He sees that in her eyes
But when it comes to ask, he dies

All he'll ever wish for is her smile
But all he ever got was denial

Wasn't he good enough?
Was it supposed to happen?
Seeing her with him makes him sadden.

I wasn't just another infatuation
Now he has stopped fighting with his frustration.

Ask him what love is,
And he will ****
For all she ever showed was her bliss

Whenever he thinks to ask her out
His fears shut his mouth.

His heart sets on fire when he sees her with him
His life wouldn't have been more dim

He would have given up his life for just one chance
And all he ever dreamt of was her glance

All he say is,
"It's time to face the truth, I can never be with you."
Nov 2014 · 858
She backed away
sanjana goel Nov 2014
She backed away,
Taking small steps,
He watched her,
With no sign of regret.

She waited,
For him to call out her name,
She couldn't understand,
That nothing was the same,

With tears in her eyes,
She murmured a goodbye,
Callous he was,
Didn't bother replying.

Her heart was hammering,
Against her rib cage,
Her tearful eyes,
Were filled with rage.

Her broken heart,
Was crumbling further,
He had on a straight face,
Showing he couldn't bother.

Her world was spinning,
She couldn't take it,
It felt so real,
How could he fake it.

Her world was shattering,
It was a joke for him,
Chances of apology,
Were getting slim.

A tear rolled down her cheek,
She couldn't stop it,
He was going to pay,
She wouldn't drop it.

Leaving him,
She ran from there,
Cried to god,
It was so unfair!

She turned bitter,
She turned cold,
"You've changed!"
She was frequently told.

People didn't know,
That he was behind it all,
People didn't know,
How hard he made her fall.

She surrendered ,
to the world then,
She lost,
Her faith in men.

He saw her walking alone one day,
Trillion memories flashed in his mind,
He felt something weird,
But he still didn't get the sign.

He saw her talking to her friend,
Her eyes no longer shined,
Cold was the face of the girl,
Who, once, always smiled.

Sighing, he turned around,
And just started walking away,
Suddenly he felt a pang of regret,
Which started increasing day by day.

Taking something out of his drawer,
Her picture caught his sight,
As his eyes fell on her face,
His lips broke into a smile.

He was taken to the past,
Her laughter chimed in his ears,
That moment did he realize,
How much he missed having her near.

He chuckled,
Remembering their nicknames,
He laughed,
Remembering their childish games.

He sighed,
Remembering their long walks,
And even blushed,
Remembering their sweet talks.

Then all of a sudden,
He realized,
All of a sudden,
Tears filled his eyes.

His heart beamed with joy,
It hit him but it was so absurd!
All this time , he couldn't realize,
That he had been in love with her!

Phone in hands, number on tips,
He dialed her number straight away,
However, she didn't pick up,
And realization hit him in the face.

Rehearsing apologies in head,
He kept pacing back and forth in the room,
He decided to let her know,
As soon as he reached school.

Almost flying he went to school,
With a pretty red rose for her,
However she wasn't there,
And he actually felt a little too hurt.

Skipping school he went to her place,
Was surprised to see many people there,
Went inside her house,
And fell to the ground in despair.

All around,
All he could see was red,
Pain, blood,
The girl he loved was dead.
Sep 2014 · 804
Three Saviors
sanjana goel Sep 2014
Before I met you,
I was filled with an eternal darkness, forever hating.
It was all I ******* knew...
but alas, I lay there... waiting.

For the ones who would truly care.
The ones who would actually be fair.
Who wouldn't run when my fangs would be bared.

So this is a little rhyme I came up with,
while playing in my head; a low riff.
And it's for you,
because you knew.

You knew my pain,
and you'd stand with me in the harsh rain,
even when I became insane.

So thank you, for letting me have a good start.
For letting me show you my art.
For not trying to dart.
Because you hold 1/3 of my heart.
This is not good, but this is dedicated to a friend who means a lot to me.
Jul 2014 · 1.5k
A friendship lost
sanjana goel Jul 2014
I remember the time not long ago
When we laughed and shared it all
We were the very best of friends
Or at least that's what I thought.
I often wonder why friendships end
What happens to sever that tie
How can someone once so close
Just wave you off with a goodbye
I must have been lacking
I must have been wrong
I wasn't the friend to you
That you were to me all along.
I thought I was loyal
I know I was true
But something went wrong
Now there's nothing to do
A friendship lost
Is a very sad thing
The angels weep instead of sing.
Jun 2014 · 3.5k
Still and careless within
sanjana goel Jun 2014
Within you, I've found the perfect friend
Someone who I know will be there till the end
And they're not just thoughts I hope will fulfill
But thoughts that will stand forever still

Still as the wind on a hot summer's day
Still as your friendship I'll never betray
Still as the characters in a photograph
Still as your breathless, silent laugh

Within you, I've found the perfect friend
A mind that I can comprehend
A person I see is so much like me
A mutual relationship so carefree

Carefree as a child who questions the world
Carefree as a scream that goes unheard
Carefree as an adult blessed with a dream
Carefree as water flowing downstream

Within you, I've found the perfect friend
With whom I can be real, and never pretend
You've always been someone unique from the rest
You hold a piece of me no other can possess

Within you is reason to live every moment in time
Within you the life I want is always mine
Within you, I have the perfect friend
With you, I see myself till the very end
Jun 2014 · 5.2k
You can do anything
sanjana goel Jun 2014
There’s a mountain before you
One you feel you can never climb
The distance is frightening,
but I know you can make it to the other side
If only you try

I’ve seen the strength
that you carry inside
I’ve seen the will, the passion
the fight in your eyes
I’ve witnessed your ambition
I know you can do it one more time

You can do anything
You can be anyone
You can be happy, too
But first you must believe
in the power of you

You’re powerful,
valuable, beautiful and brave
And I know that you know
you can make it through tomorrow
if you can get through today;
I will be there for you
every step of the way
Jun 2014 · 522
Being myself
sanjana goel Jun 2014
Sometimes I feel strange
Around people I secretly change
But around you I feel real
No one else can spin the steering wheel
  
I'm going here or there
I don't mind where
I need a place to be
The one real me
  
You're leading to a place
Where I can find a pace
A place where I can see your face
And get drunk by your attracting grace
  
I'm going here or there
I don't mind where
I need a place to be
The one real me
  
Around you I found that place
Where I can only be myself
I can finally stop the chase
In order to find my own perfect space
  
I'm staying here or there
I don't mind where
I found a place where I can be
The one real me
May 2014 · 708
My Secret Bout You
sanjana goel May 2014
Yeah, everybody has a secret
I have one too
Most of my friends know
But what about you?
I can't explain what I'm feeling
Could it be true?
I'm not sure but I think I'm falling for you.
To be honest I think it's quite possible
It's funny how this feeling grew
I'm falling once again
But this time it's for you.
Tell me you like me
Or at least give me a clue.

I know this feeling
I've felt it before
But that was different
Cause he walked out the door.
I could be losing it
But I'll let the rain pour
Because a day without you
Is like hitting the floor.
All over again
I'll fight this war.

Standing here with you feels so right
But some thing's wrong.
This rhyme is a little off
But I'll sing this song.
It's beautiful
Because it's melody is so lovely but somehow it doesn't belong.
It doesn't have to be perfect
So why don't you sing along?

I'm being honest
I can't believe you broke my shell
Everybody see's it
So I'm like "What the hell?".
Being around you makes me stupid
Can't you tell?
You funny ****
Am I going to have to spell
it out so you could see?
I'm telling you I fell
For you
Do you feel the same as well?

I told you the truth
So now I'll go
Unless you stop me
I'll leave you alone.
Say you feel the same
Cause I don't want another clone.
I like you for you
And I know I don't need a wishbone.

A friend saw you looking today
Just as I thought of this silly rhyme.
It's not perfect but it's good enough
Liking someone is not a crime.
So don't be intimidated
Considering you have plenty of time.
Tell me today... tell me tomorrow
Either way is fine.
I don't mind waiting
Shoot I'll give you extra time.

Another moment is passing by
So I'll give you this
And hopefully I won't kiss
It goodbye.
Knowing me I'll probably dismiss
The event because in all reality
I'm just too much of a sis
To give you this poem.
I'm too intimidated but I can't miss
Another chance to tell you the truth;
I can't waste another minute in this ''What if?'' abyss
Especially without you
May 2014 · 7.9k
Stand strong
sanjana goel May 2014
When things seem difficult miserable
Life is turning away from you
Intimidated and worn out you remain
In darkness at a corner you examine
Watching the sky as it disappears
Reminding the lost beloved ones
How beautiful and caring they were
Vanishing without saying goodbye
Shortening your long life span
And leaving you destitute and lonely
Deeply you wonder
How life can really be unfair
To honest and good people like you
But all you let go off
And focus to mend your life
And strengthen your heart
With good and caring friends on your side
Opening the picture of brightness
Knowing GOD holds your hand
Leading you to your success
Stars embracing the whole sky
And you know your journey has started
In pursuit of your purpose
Slowly matching from dusk to dawn
With smiles and determination
In whispers you read your heart
ALWAYS STAND STRONG
May 2014 · 2.1k
The morning bird
sanjana goel May 2014
A cuckoo bird breaks the silence
Of the wintry morning.
Although all the people are sleeping,
She appeals us,
With her happy note,
To awaken from the wintry bed.
And how to begin a day’s work.

She hides her face
With a veil of darkness.
But she unveils her face
In the wintry night.
She sings
To give the odor
And perfection of the wintry dawn.

Let’s praise
For the eternal bird.
Let’s sing
For her divine voice,
Who breaks the silence
Of the wintry morning.
And welcomes the day with her divine singing.
May 2014 · 1.5k
Hidden pain
sanjana goel May 2014
Unable to find peace of mind
Can't even close my eyes
Haunted by nightmares of all kinds
Because of the place in which I lie

Forever scarred by the past
Branded with the reminder
Of days that go too fast
And the nights where I find her

Every day a slow torture
Leaving me to pretend
Always having to endure
A forever that meets no end

Hiding the pain that eats away
Deep into my heart and soul
Waiting for the day
That my mind loses all control
May 2014 · 3.4k
When will you notice me?
sanjana goel May 2014
What do I have to do to get you to notice me?
Change my hair, the way I walk.
My clothes, the way I talk.
We've known each other for some time now  yet I'm still invisible to you.  My feelings run deep and how I wish you only knew.
I see your face every time I close my eyes
To me you just seem so different from the other guys.
To you I'm just a friend
Nothing more, nothing less I settle for friendship in the end
Because I don't want to make a mess.
Instead I'll keep my secret to myself  
And take my pride back off the shelf.
Until one day you finally see  
That you and I were meant to be.
I'll wait for now but not too long
Because sooner or later I'll be gone.
So when will you notice me?
May 2014 · 697
Something has changed
sanjana goel May 2014
I’m trying to find something to base my life upon,
Something in this strange world that goes on and on.
As the years go by and time fades away,
What used to be "good days" are now filled with dismay.
Tomorrow comes, and then again, it goes,
And my ambition to become something more, grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
The life I want now, gets closer each day.
All I've ever wanted was something to live for,
I don’t want to be this little person anymore.
I’ve been basing my life upon what others think,
I wish I could go back and redo everything, every time an eye would blink.
I've fought to become who I am and what I want to be,
I have to remind myself that one day, I will be free.
Free from the rules I followed as a child,
When everything was a game and life was so mild.
Now times have changed and I realize nothing is fair,
And sometimes it seems like nobody even cares.
It’s like no one pays attention to what I feel is best for me,
And what I think about the way some things should be.
I understand now, that I’m pretty much on my own,
And I know a lot of what I can do will never be known.
All the time, I think about everything I can’t say, what I have to keep in,
And by doing this, my thoughts only get more complicated and deepen.
Soon I hope to find out who I am, and what I am meant to become,
I want to know where I’m going, I don’t need to be reminded of where I came from.
May 2014 · 1.0k
Seasons
sanjana goel May 2014
Winter is cold, with gusts of tumbling snow
When rain falls down and nothing ever grows
For children it's the snow that they desire
And cups of co-co in front of the fire

When winters gone, the grass grows green again
Roses and Tulips sprout, with bright green stems
The bees are buzzing, the birds are singing
Sheep are grazing and cow bells are ringing

And then the sun starts to shine too brightly
It's so hot that fans are put on nightly
And so then it's off to the beach or pools
Where people swim about just to keep cool

All the leaves on the trees turn golden-brown
And when on the ground make a crackly sound
In autumn a lot of money you make
For clearing backyards of leaves with a rake

Each season has its own goods and its bads
But since they are all different I am glad!
May 2014 · 640
This is not the end
sanjana goel May 2014
This is not the end
You will be missed down here below,
For we really did not want to see you go.
But God had other plans for you
He had heavenly work for you to do.
The time you spent down here with us,
Oh how we enjoyed you so very much.
You made us laugh by the things you would say.
We will always think of you each and every day.
Even when you were in pain, you managed to smile.
You were a true gentleman with dignity and style.
But now you are with God in that Heavenly place,
And your smile is now all over your face.
You and the angels are having a ball,
And now you are waiting for us to join you all.
We can’t wait to be with you in that heavenly home in the sky,
Where we will never have to say goodbye.
For we will all be together again,
And there will never be an end.
We will all be with Jesus, our Heavenly big Brother,
And we will all be rejoicing with one another.
For this is not the end, it is just goodbye,
Until we all meet again in that Home in the sky.
So to God be the glory for what he has done,
He came and got another son.
Maybe, someday,
Your voice will become part of
The wind
That everyone will breathe
And love until the very last one
Because  you are now a part of the
World
A part of a breeze
A part of me
May 2014 · 1.1k
Moving on
sanjana goel May 2014
I treasured you in my heart,
I wished we'd never be apart,
Cause you're the best thing I've ever had,
I never thought I could be this sad.

You told me you're better off alone,
Somehow I believed you and I tried to be strong.
Deep inside me I know something is wrong,
But because I loved you I continued to hold on.

And then one day I woke up with tears in my eyes,
I told myself "that's enough" and so I realized,
That I've given everything I've ever had,
But despite all of these, you chose to break my heart.

It's true I've never been perfect,
But I thought you told me that every one has it's own defects,
I know I hurt you, I know I made you cry,
But I've always been true to you, my love was never a lie.

So go on, live your life the way it should be,
I'm finally letting go, so now you're free,
I'm moving on, but I will always remember,
The friend I had in you that I hope I'll have forever.

— The End —