Alchol
To drown
Fight my thoughts
To drown the pain
Alchol

It was not long ago that I thought

That I would do anything for you

Oh- what was I naive

I should have known

I should have known better

Yes, I had to know better

I had to

I should have, I should have

But I was so naive and blind



I should have known better

I should know better

I will still give up everything

And I still will do everything for you

I might not be that naive anymore

Nor that blind

But that doesn't make me any less stupid

I am speechless,
have no words,
I can't speak,
I am wordless

Never I had expected this,
that something like this,
would happen to you.
I am so sorry

I am speechless,
left behind wordless,
I forgot how to speak,
don't know what to say,

but your name,
                        Lucy
                                Lucy
                                        Lucy
I love you,
                   Lucy

My voice soft as I comfort her...
Everything will be okay.
My little sister nods and dries her tears...
Heard broken by the mean words of a friend.

All will be fine

All will be fine...
I have told her that so often.
Yet I didn't believe that for my future.
I can't even picture my future.

When will all be fine?

Something sad on tv.
My mom is clearly upset.
I give her a hug and a smile.
I am sad to but didn't pay attention to the tv.

I lie to her...
All is fine

Yes dad I know you are mad.
And I have no reason to cry.
I am sorry.
I live a happy life and yet I cry.

A happy life?

Sure I live a happy life.
A good life.
I have everything.
Yet I feel a lack of happiness.

I am so sad and depressed.

But when one asks.
I lie.
I don't want to hurt them.
I don't want to worry them.

I lie.

I try to protect others from getting hurt.
Like when they know I am in pain,
They will have to endure it too.
So I lie.

I have a good life.

I just want to die.
But I never say.
I always lie.
I am okay.
I am fine.

I am simply living a lie.

empty bottles,
shattered glass,
blood lying on the floor,
What have we done?

slowely I open my eyes again,
The light is to bright,
What have we done?
I feel so sick.

There is old blood sticking on my bare skin
What have we done?
I can't remember,
My mind doesn't seem to work.

What have we done?
I grave for more,
I want to fill the emptiness in my heart,
Want once again feel your touch.

my mind is corrupted,
My heart is empty,
I tried to fill it with drugs and pain,
What have we done?

The floor need to be cleaned,
I need to get clean,
What have we done?
We were so despaired.

Our hearts were so empty,
What have we done?
we didn't see.
we didn't care.

What have we done?
filling our empty hearts with liquor and xtc,
like that could take away the loneliness,
we had in our broken hearts.

what have we done?
I ask myself as I see the bottles and the blood,
And your slowly cooling body lying next to me,
What have we done?

I feel sick
I am not doing well
I am falling every day
Breathing under water
Drowning in my pain
I want throw up
Headache and dizzy
No freaking fun
Mind racing or incredibly slow
Thoughta suffecating me
I want it to go away
Anxiety and fear
Sadness overwhelming me
Battling myself
It makes me sick
It drains me
I wish I could just say goodbye
But I have to keep fighting
Don't let it win

Hold on, don't let go!
You don't want to die.
Put the razor away.
Breath in the air.
You don't want to die.
Hold on, don't let go!
Don't turn of the light.
Life is worth the fight.

tell me...
tell me this isn't real...
tell me he aint gone...
tell me I will see his smile again...
tell me...
...please...
tell me...
that losing him was only a bad dream.

Do you like what you see?
Am I pretty yet?
Or do I need to add some more make up?
More lies?
Hide my true self?
The one that no one likes.
When will I be pretty?
Lose some more pounds?
So that you can see my weak bones?
Would you like to see that?
Or can you be content?
With the body I have?
The body that is me.
If not, how do I become pretty than?
How do I please you?
Why are you so ******* me?
Can I ever be pretty in your eyes?
Or will you just continue putting me down?
Deep down I know.
In your eyes I will never be pretty.
But I pretend that I don't know and some more make up.
Some more lies.
Till you don't see me anymore.
But just a bunch of lies.
Will I be pretty than?
Am I pretty yet?
The girl of lies.
Am I pretty yet?
What do you think?
Am I pretty yet?
Now you can't see me from under the lies.
Am I pretty yet or do you need more lies?
Another fake smile?
More make up?
Less weight?
More lies?
Tell me.
Am I pretty yet?
Or do you need more lies?

the voices whisper

they call out to me

They scream

They laugh at me



Should I listen?

Should I care?



The screaming won't stop

I can't tell the difference

between the screaming in my head

and my own



Stop it, stop!

I can't ignore them anymore



For the voices whisper

They call out to me

They scream

They laugh at me



I can't ignore them anymore

No, don't pity me

They are right

and this is my goodbye

No one sees mt pain.
No one hears me cry.
No one knows I slowly die.
But here it is- my final goodbye.

If I put on a smile an walk out this door,
and pretened that nothing is going on,
look again.
The scars on my thighs and wrist don't lie.
And if I smile,
I just want to cry.
But I will never show,
the pain in my heart,
I will suffer quietly,
live another lie.
But when you look closer,
you see that this is not real.
My smile is fake,
and all I want to do is cry.
Do you dare to look closer,
and see that I'm not okay.
Can you see?
Can you open your eyes for my pain?
And see trough my fake smile.
Because I am not okay.
And I want to scream.
But I don't want others to know,
because they never care.
And when you see me smile,
think again,
before you asume a thing.
Because I am not okay,
and my smile is fake.
My tears don't lie.
My scars don't lie.
They are real,
but my smile is not.
And you would see,
if you only looked a bit closer.

They once told me light is the fastes thing to travel, but why then is the darkness there always firts?


The darkness was overwhelming, it blinded me.
It was the only thing around me.
And I wasn't sure that was a good or a bad thing.
I did not know wether it scared me or comforted me, maybe both.

It felt like finaly comming home, but leaving it the same time.
It felt somehow dangerous, yet so peaceful and safe.
Till there suddenly in the darkness, was a pressence.
A pressence that made me doubt everything I ever believed in.

How much do we do to keep our minds occupied?
How far do we go?
Where do we stop?
How much more can we do not feel the pain in our hearts?
When will be our lookinf away, our hiding the end of us?
How long can we keep living like this?
How much more can we take before our worlds finaky colaspe.
And we will have to think and feel.
I fear we can't keep going on like this forever.
keeping our minds occupied so we won't think about what truely matters.

As a fenix I shall rise
And my wings on fire shall be as bright as the sun
Nothing will be able to stop me
Nor an army of titans nor an ocean
And I will fly

I can't get out of bed,
Anxiety too bad.
I can't focus on his words,
Too busy planning my own death.
Can't work well,
Too tired.
I slept well,
I am just so depressed.
Can't they tell?

Sure I breath
I do have a pulse
I still excist
But I am not living
I am just waiting for death to end this
I am already dying inside
But my existence is never fading
I am still here
Breathing they same air as you

Listen to the silence,

What does it try to tell you?

Nothing?

Listen closer

It means you are a loner

It calls out to you,

Yells at you,

Loner!

You will forever be alone

Or at least that is what mine tells me

Tell me what you see?
Tell me what you think?
I am like a piece of art in a museum.
Visable for everyone.
But only a few people can see what I truely mean.
I am like a book in the bookstore.
Everyone can see me but covers can be misleading.
Only one will get to read me.
Find the true me.
See my deepest secrets.
My darkest fears.
My hopes, my dreams, my everything.
I am like the rain.
Some people will only get wet.
Others will feel me falling on their skin.
This are the people I want to live with.
But they scare me too.
I am a poem.
Everyone can read me.
But only a few can read between the lines and see what I truely mean.
And I would love to meet someone who feels me like that.
But it scares me.
My true self being visable.
Vunerable.
All my fears, dreams, secrets, hopes open to see.
But I am ready.
Ready to show, to share.
So please take a look.
Maybe you are the one who sees me.

Corpses everywhere,
The feeling of sorrow and despair,
You can smell it in the air,
The war isn't won,
It has only just begun,
From now on there will be pain,
There will be blood,
Where now is our god?
The smell of decay,
Tears for the deceased,
Tears for the once living in this time of war
Corpses everywhere,
A horrible stank in the air,
A crying child walking through the streets,
Have they forgotten us?
How did it get so far?
Dead bodies of children laying on the ground,
A broken car,
A doll forgotten by her owner,
An wounded man,
This are the streets of our town,
God, have you forgotten us?
We are at war,
And the end is not to be seen yet,
God, wherever you are,
Please do something about the war

I want to sleep. I am tired.
I don't want to wake up until it's all over.
I am exhausted. I don't want to anymore.
I want to go to sleep and wake up over a thousand years.
Or maybe later. I don't know.
I don't think I really care whether I wake up or not.

why do people think that they can force me to go out and be happy?
A smile can be faked.
But how I feel won't change.
I am sorry that I can't live a joyful life.
I think to often about when I die.
I can barely fake another smile.
But people still think that I can be happy just because they asked me to be.

You watch me falling.
You're enjoying it, aint you?
Don't lie to me,
I can tell you do,
Why else did you push me over the edge?
You're smile widens,
Does that mean that I almost reached the bottom?
You know what?
I don't care,
I have been falling for so long.
Only going down and dowm.
I am ready to die.
Are you ready to lose your toy?

your house of cards is falling apart.
you thought it was so stable, silly child.
You should have known that you can't build on lies.
Not without your world ending up collasping.
oh silly child.
Your world is falling a part as the people see the real you.
The true you tried to hide for way too long.
My silly child.
Open your eyes and speak your mind.
Forget about the collasping world of lies.
And start living your life.
Stop being so silly my sweet child.
Open your eyes and go outside, forget about the lies and start living life.

This is about you
It is not a poem.
But I don't care.
Yes this site is called Hello Poetry.
But does that mean that I can't say that I care about you?
That you are beautiful.
That you are kind.
That you are important.
***** poetry.
Today I just want to say that you matter.

As the darkness comes,
And the night rises,
Putting me in its pure embrace,
Tears fall on my pale face,
Another day has passed by,
But I am still here,
And I will still be here,
When the sunlight drives away the darkness of the night,
But you won't be there,
You won't smile at me when I wake up,
You won't whisper 'good morning love,
And I will never feel your arms around me again,
Never I will see your beautiful eyes again,
And never again you will wrap me in your arms,
The only embrace I will know now,
Is the sad embrace of a lonely night

I dwell between the seven realms of reality

For I am,

But am not,

I have no name

Nor a soul

I just am

But I am not

Am I real or is this just a fantasy?

I dwell between the seven realms of reality

But I doubt my own

What am I?

And am I?

They say they love me.
I know they do.
But only for who they want me to be.
Not for who I am deep inside.
Still they claim to love me.
Don't allow me to change.
Cause that is not how thay want me to be.
I may not break the illusion and clear up the lies.
So can you truely say they love 'me'?

I am getting old, my bones need some rest, I can't walk for too long,
I can't go too far, for my time may soon come,
I wish I could follow, come along, but you are young, and soon my time will come,
Hush now, sweet child, carry on, as my time has finally come.

Tears are streaming down my cheeks

They aren't sweet, they more taste like the sea

Why do people say sweet tears?

For mine are never

They are bitter like my thoughts

They are salt like the sea

There is no more

I am all alone

No more laughing

Only pain



For there is no more

I am all alone

Just me

And my pain

Life or death.
I don't know wich scares me more.

Will you notice it- that I am gone?
Will you, will you miss me?
For how long?
How long would it takes your wounds to heal?
Will it leave scars?
Or will you just carry on?
How long till it is okay?
Will you, when will you forget me?
How long after I am gone?
I hope- I guess it won't take long.
I know it won't.
Because you never cared when I was alive.
So why would you mourn, care about my death.
How long will you remember me- after I am dead.

What have you seen?
That you are so afraid of closing your eyes and going to sleep.
What have you seen?
That scares you so much you never really dare to open your eyes.
Tell me, what have you seen?
That you are so afraid of life.

Do you ever want to cry but no tears come?
Do you ever want to bleed but no blood flows?
Do you ever want to die but death won't come?
I have this all the time.
I want it all the time every day.
But I cannot cry, bleed or die.

Close your weary eyes my child

welcome the darkness

take my hand

let us become one

When I die, will I cry?
And if I do, is it for the moments I had or for the moments I will never have?
But do I care when there are other solutions the death?