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Akira May 2016
What if I never get married?
Akira Aug 2015
My father speaks with his fists
Although I've only once felt the weight of his words
I believe this is why I hurt the ones I love
Akira Oct 2015
I almost let him in
Like my legs were walls he had to climb
I almost opened those doors for him

I almost let him touch me
Like my body was not a sacred place
But an amusement park meant for his exploration
I forgot that you always leave after you've been on enough rides
I'm lucky enough that I never gave him a ticket

I almost let him kiss me
Just to feel the heat between our bodies
The cool of his breath on my lips
I've really never wanted something as bad as I had wanted this

And the sad part is that ...
Almost all of these, are lies I like to tell myself
To try and forget that I let him kiss me
I let him touch me
I let him in without him trying
Because maybe the want to experience him never took into account the pain that he would bring
How he left me so easily
I want to forget how his lips felt
I want to forget the way our lithe bodies pressed together
So that I can remember
How he had crossed so many bridges
Yet failed to find a key to unlock the last door
Akira Aug 2017
Am I  a poet
if the only time that I can write
is when my life is falling apart
Akira Aug 2015
Second day back and he was there
Him, miss the first day but today here
We're not talking but it was easier than I thought
Staring at me here and there, he thought I didn't saw

Some classes are hard because we sit opposite each other

I wonder what goes on in his mind
I try to think about it but the answer is too hard to find
I remember when it used to be my hands in his - intertwined
But obviously those days were imaginations in my mind

It's always hard when we're apart
But it's all his fault for ripping out my heart
I thought he was different
I didn't know that he would stick the knife in and twist it

Days would pass before we said hi
I'd always seem to go run and hide
But I'd always find him again
He always used to be my best guy friend

He is, I mean was, my shield
But whenever I go back my mind says yeild

No matter how hard I try to fight it, it will always be true
No matter how hard I try to stay away I'll always find my way back to you.
Akira Sep 2015
And so he was the beauty and I was the beast
Our love was animalistic
So he caged his feelings
I can't see that he loves me behind his mask
And he's too afraid to remove mine
Nobody wants to touch an ugly thing anyway
Feelings of inadequacy, we all go through it sometimes
Akira Aug 2015
He planted a garden in my heart for all eyes to see.
He planted kisses on my face, amplifying that he's with me.

He watered down my fears with the scent of his calogne.
If you asked me I'd tell you 'He'll never leave me alone.'

And for a while he kept his promise and stayed by my side.
But after a while the roses wilted and the flowers began to die.

Now I'm stuck with the weeds of his love spreading in my veins.
Being watered by my tainted blood flowing through their streams.

But my fear is not this poison that spreads through me everyday.
Because I'm more terrified of his smile, that won't even look my way.

And he'll be there, loving her, the girl that took my place.
While I stand around with the fakest smile plastered on my face.

And that boy that promised he'd love me forever, just decided to leave.
Now here I am, left with a garden of poison and I can barely breathe.
Akira May 2016
Kiss my thoughts, not my lips
Stimulate my brain, not my body
Loves connection should be more than just physical
Akira May 2016
He told me not to burn the bridge between us
So I lit that **** on fire
Relished in the ash as it fell
And bathed in the smoke it created

After all

Our love was the only poisonous thing
That I should dare to escape
Love no thanks
Akira Dec 2016
There is no room for you in my bed
My monsters have already gotten in with me
Akira Sep 2015
I don't want to be your favorite girl.

I want to be your only girl.
Akira Oct 2015
I've never been the type of girl
To fall so easily for a guy
But here I am falling for you
And I can't even fathom why

You were just a cafeteria crush
My feelings weren't supposed to grow
But with these food and snack encounters
I found that we've reaped and now we sow

Your cool fingers on my neck
Halt me enough to arch my spine
I know our love wouldn't be tragic
But I can't let history rewind

So I'll let you in eventually
When these walls all finally come down
But if you decide to climb them
Please don't be crushed if you hit the ground
Akira Aug 2015
Dear Stranger,

I remember when we were in love.
Our bodies constantly colliding like bumper cars; we were violent.
A mixture that should have never been combined. My love we were better off seperated from each other.
But our love was worth the explosion.

Dear Stranger,

I remember the first time we hugged.
Like magnets our bodies were drawn to eachother; we were inseparable. But I never thought that we could be demagnetized so easily. My love, I never thought that you would be drawn to another pole.

Dear Stranger,

I remember when we held hands for the first time.
It felt like butter because your fingers melted so easily into mine; we were perfect.

Dear Stranger,

I remember the first time we met.
You were the sun and I was the moon; we were never meant to collide but we did and it was beautiful.

Dear Stranger,

All of this is to say that we were two different people before we met and we are two different people now.
I don't know who you are anymore.

Dear Stranger,

Goodbye.
Feedback welcome
Akira Sep 2015
Writing poetry is artistic
It has left me with many talents
But please baby I'm begging you
Don't believe the smile
I've painted on my face
Akira Nov 2015
Don't build me a castle to lock me up in it
I don't want to be your princess
If we can't ride the waves of the war together
Akira Aug 2015
I'm not a perfect girl, my hair doesn't always stay in place
I have scars on my body and bumps on my face
I eat all the wrong foods and don't always make my bed
And the things people say may sometiems go to my head

I laugh a bit too loud and talk a bit too much
I'm constantly making mistakes but hell, life is rough
I have a lot of probelms, that I don't know how to solve
And my friends always find a way to get themselves involved

I yell and I scream and I shout when I'm mad
I cry myself to sleep all the nights that I'm sad
I make stupid jokes only me and my friends get
And spend my spare time trying to forget

All the mean things that people say and do
Having a conversation in my head, wondering if it's true

They stand in line awaiting  my  fall
But confidently  I  arise with my flaws and all
Your imperfections aren't detrimental, don't let yourself think that they are or anyone else for that matter ...
Akira Aug 2015
Leave before you are left
Akira Aug 2015
First, stick your hand down your throat and try to ignore the pain because this, my darling, is not the part that hurts.

Remember how it feels as it beats by itself: ba dum ba dum ba dum.
After you've memorized the pattern pull it out quick and easy and give him your heart.

Your throat will burn with the effort it took. Your eyes will water. Your fingers will tremble. And your mind will call you a silly little girl for the umpteenth time this year.

But it's not because you fall for boys; it's because you're still that silly little girl that wants daddy's affection. Your mind is calling you a fool for loving this old gambling drunk but you ... you like the way he holds your heart.
You do not realize the power that you have given him.

He squezzes it, tosses it around, throws it up like he wants God Himself to reach down and catch it. He's playing with it.
You fight for it back. You fight to keep it up and before you know it crimson covers your fingers, tears cover your cheeks.

You say if this is love you do not want it; he drops it. Like the beer bottle that shattered into millions of pieces, he leaves the mess for someone else to clean up. He leaves it for you to clean up.

It cuts you but at least you can feel.
You pick your heart up. It's in peices. Your fire. Your passion. Your love was never meant to be something that was easy to swallow.

It puts itself back together. Your throat closes it self off. You don't know if your alive until you touch your chest.

Ba dum ba dum ba dum
I just wrote this. It's really depressing I think but it's true. Questions are welcome or any feedback in general. Love is a cycle people, some cycles are just better/easier than others
Akira Jun 2016
She never knew that the color of her skin
Could define the type of person she was within

By simply taking a look at her face
You'd probably base her beauty on her race

"Am I Beautiful?" she asked.

*"You are beautiful, for a black girl"
Why does the amount of melanin determine beauty ?
Akira Aug 2015
I want your touch
I want your hands to discover every inch of my body so I can feel electric. Because your fingers spark my skin, if you touched my entire body I would be on fire

I want you to be brave
So that when you hold me, the fire will not make you feel afraid. After all it's you who caused it. They say you can not make fire feel afraid but if you don't hold me I'll know what fear feels like

I want you to choose
Me or her. Me or her. Me or her. If there was ever a choice to make, pick her. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life wondering if I was who you wanted

I want you to want me
But baby I won't wait forever
To that boy who comes into my life right when I'm almost over him
Akira Oct 2015
I was always too much of something for everybody
But it was quite a surprise to find
That I wasn't enough for you
Akira Sep 2015
If I was an artist
I would make you my moon
To shine on me in the darkness
And stay with me
Even when my shadow leaves
Akira Nov 2015
Let my sweat be the ink
Our bed be the canvas
Your fingers the paint brush, your tongue the pencil

Let our love be the portrait
So beautifully displayed that they'll write
Our name in the smoke of our heat, leave a letter in the sky
Just something
Akira Oct 2015
Your over flood of questions have me sinking under their weight
Like my bed is soaked with your concern
This is not supposed to hurt me .. but it is
Don't tell me I'm doing too much
I already know that I am
Your reminder is just one more thing that will break free the dam I hold my tears in
Sometimes I do feel like I can't
And maybe sleep is not the right route to take
But is it so bad that I want the world to pause.
I want your concerns to stop.
I want my bed to dry.
Just so I can breathe for a while ...
Akira Mar 2016
When you've been hurt over and over again it's easy to know what you don't want.
You don't want to be woken up at night with the sound of music blasting and a drunk man stumbling in, you don't want to have to deal with his anger.
The pain is something that you have decided to leave in your past. Emotionally you are scarred so as to never fall for a man like him
... just like your mother did ...

But when this new man came into your life, you let him in.
He didn't have the gut from drinking because he didn't drink.
He didn't break your heart when you were young.
He wasn't your dad.

But when pain came into your life again, it didn't look the same.

This one had locks and held your body like it was made of glass.
You thought it meant because he believed you were delicate but it was really because you could be recycled.
Never in your life had you equivocated yourself to trash but isn't that what he made you feel like.

And they wonder why you can be so hard and heartless; it's because of little boys like him "who's only tool that they use is the sword that they swing"
Darling your value was never meant to be determined by another man. You are priceless. You have galaxies in your eyes so who cares if he didn't give you the world you gave yourself the whole **** universe.

So pick up your pieces, put yourself back together and hold onto your happiness. These feelings are just visitors after they've stayed for a while, let them go.
Disclaimer: There's a quote in here from another spoken word I really like. It's titled Mother of Dragons by Tai Weinman.
Akira Oct 2015
Maybe writing my problems down
Won't solve them today
But it will give you all
A beautiful story to read
Akira Nov 2015
I tell him that I can not love him
Because my heart is held prisoner
By the ribs that cage it
Excuses excuses ...
Akira Aug 2015
Writing poetry, for me, is like being naked.
My words are like clothes and I'll let my readers undress them.
Akira Aug 2015
My love for you was like an ocean
I only wish that you told me you couldn't swim
I never meant for you to drown in my love
Akira Nov 2015
If you loved me
I'm sure it'd feel a lot like
time freezing
Too bad time waits for no one
Akira Aug 2015
I've been trying to write a poem for a while now
but I've honestly been wasting my time
I hate how unfamiliar this feeling feels
And how it expands the sheets of my mind

Right now I don't want to rhyme
I don't want to sit here and tell you all something so beautiful
because nothing about my pain is pretty
It hurts
It hurts so much

And I just want it to stop.
The title is symbolic of the message. In some ways this poem was over before it begun.
Akira Aug 2015
I don't want to see you hurt yourself
Because of what someone else has done
All of them will get what they deserve
When the Lord's Judgement Day comes

Can't you see you're beautiful
Please don't let them think they've won
Please put down the knife
And let your days of cutting be done

You have a great guy who loves you
And I don't just mean the one above
I bet he treats you like a princess
And showers you with all of his love

So come on princess, don't cry
Please wipe away those tears
And stop repressing your feelings
Which have built up through the years

Hold your head high
And don't drop it down
Because no one will know you are a princess
With a falling crown
Akira Sep 2015
He told me my scars weren't beautiful
And I told him that no one could ever really admire a masterpiece
Without taking a few steps back
Your scars make you who you are and no matter what you are beautiful
Akira Oct 2016
Some days I stand in for the clouds
and rain for hours
Pain demands to be felt. R.I.P Grammy, I love you ...
Akira Sep 2015
I always say I want love
But when it's heading towards me
I turn around and walk the other way
I'm such a punk when it comes to relationships and what's not. How do you guys do it?
Akira Aug 2015
Don't spend too much time listening to other people. You might forget what your voice sounds like.
Akira Dec 2020
Before I met you, I was a star
Pretty far away, but up close just gas

Shining by external validation and without that a black hole
Wanting to be filled with
... anything

I didnt know I could be worthy for just existing
For just taking up space, I matter

And I havent always loved myself
And I'm not sure why you do

But knowing you has been liberating
And loving you has freed me
Akira Apr 2017
The idea of you and I together is so strange.
Like
the idea of snow and spring,
but even so
Nature can not be helped
Trying to find my way back to poetry, I miss it so much
Akira Aug 2015
Your love was electric baby; I didn't mind the shocks.
Akira Aug 2015
I could send you a million beautiful pictures of myself but I send the less attractive ones instead, just to see if you'll still treat me all the same when I'm not as beautiful as you thought.
Pretty straight forward ae ?
Akira Sep 2015
I want our love to be like a tree
No matter the season we will find a way
To grow, adapt and survive
... together
Akira Sep 2015
I want these tears to leave my body
In rivers and streams of pent up emotion
I want to let it all go
I want to let you go

With each tear comes a memory so my waterworks are more like a fountain picture
I have poured enough rivers and streams into the ocean of my heartbreak that your pennies can take a dip in their seas, make a wish, and never see the light of the sun again

My past is not something that you want to explore
Because in the end
The waves will rise
And come tumbling down again
Taking you under with it every time
I don't particularly know what I'm talking about
Akira Aug 2015
I am in the valley right now
I cannot see the light
This trial is a painful one
But I won't go down without a fight

God has brought me too far
To just take camp in the dark
So I'm looking all around me
All I need is one spark

I've gotten so used to closing my eyes
So the Lord has shaken me awake
I was a child never meant for the darkness
He wants this cycle to break

He promised me I wouldn't stay here
That I'm just passing through
So that in the future when I struggle
I'll know exactly what to do

So as I walk through this valley
I'll hold my head up high
God is my inspiration
So I'll look up to the sky
Pain isn't permanent
Akira Aug 2015
I fell in love with his smile
That stretched from cheek to chin
Always bringing out my happiness
That's buried so far within

I fell in love with his touch
That set fireworks ablaze
On my skin with his fingers
He created his own maze

I fell in love with his throaty laugh
That spread vibrations through my being
Could it really be real?
This feeling that I'm feeling?

But I'm a smart girl
I really should've known
That I couldn't fall in love
With these silly things alone

I should have added into the equation
What his actions said
Then maybe I wouldn't have fallen
For his hollow words instead

When he let go of the door
And let it slam in my face
I shouldn't have kept that silly smile
But let it be totally erased

When he heard others make fun
Of the girl that I was
His laugh was something
I really thought I misunderstood

When he chose her over me
I didn't want it to be true
He never wanted me
And I'm the only one that never knew

But when it came down to it
He wasn't the one for me
It wasn't really him I fell in love with
Just who I wanted him to be
Sometimes your image of someone and what they really are, is two different things.
Akira Nov 2015
You are like the ocean
At times overwhelming
But how I love to breathe in the scent of you
I'm drowning

But your savor is worth no air
You are the only air that I can breathe

So let me.
Don't push me away.

Pull me into the depths of your mind
Pull me down with you into your bed
Let not the sun try and break through your curtains when morning comes
Let me:
Sleep.
Float on your every word.
Be paralyzed by your kisses.

Baby you don't need to be an ocean anymore
Let my body be the ship
Your body, the bottle
Hold me as we float on our love
Let us drift
to shore
together
Akira Aug 2015
Your love is like a drug to me and it's ruining my life.

— The End —