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HRTsOnFyR Dec 2016
I am no longer waiting for a special occasion; I burn the best candles on ordinary days.
I am no longer waiting for the house to be clean; I fill it with people who understand that even dust is Sacred.
I am no longer waiting for everyone to understand me; It’s just not their task
I am no longer waiting for the perfect children; my children have their own names that burn as brightly as any star.
I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop; It already did, and I survived.
I am no longer waiting for the time to be right; the time is always now.
I am no longer waiting for the mate who will complete me; I am grateful to be so warmly, tenderly held.
I am no longer waiting for a quiet moment; my heart can be stilled whenever it is called.
I am no longer waiting for the world to be at peace; I unclench my grasp and breathe peace in and out.
I am no longer waiting to do something great; being awake to carry my grain of sand is enough.
I am no longer waiting to be recognized; I know that I dance in a holy circle.
I am no longer waiting for Forgiveness. I believe, I Believe.

-Mary Anne Perrone

Photo: Ingmari Lamy
Via Sacred Dreams
HRTsOnFyR Aug 2015
it's 3:23 in the morning
and I'm awake
because my great great grandchildren
won't let me sleep
my great great grandchildren
ask me in dreams
what did you do while the planet was plundered?
what did you do when the earth was unraveling?

surely you did something
when the seasons started failing?

as the mammals, reptiles, birds were all dying?

did you fill the streets with protest
when democracy was stolen?

what did you do
once
you
knew?

I'm riding home on the Colma train
I've got the voice of the milky way in my dreams

I have teams of scientists
feeding me data daily
and pleading I immediately
turn it into poetry

I want just this consciousness reached
by people in range of secret frequencies
contained in my speech

I am the desirous earth
equidistant to the underworld
and the flesh of the stars

I am everything already lost

the moment the universe turns transparent
and all the light shoots through the cosmos

I use words to instigate silence

I'm a hieroglyphic stairway
in a buried Mayan city
suddenly exposed by a hurricane

a satellite circling earth
finding dinosaur bones
in the Gobi desert
I am telescopes that see back in time

I am the precession of the equinoxes,
the magnetism of the spiraling sea

I'm riding home on the Colma train
with the voice of the milky way in my dreams

I am myths where violets blossom from blood
like dying and rising gods

I'm the boundary of time
soul encountering soul
and tongues of fire

it's 3:23 in the morning
and I can't sleep
because my great great grandchildren
ask me in dreams
what did you do while the earth was unraveling?

I want just this consciousness reached
by people in range of secret frequencies
contained in my speech


©2003
HRTsOnFyR Apr 2016
Some day, if you are lucky,
you’ll return from a thunderous journey
trailing snake scales, wing fragments
and the musk of Earth and moon.

Eyes will examine you for signs
of damage, or change
and you, too, will wonder
if your skin shows traces

of fur, or leaves,
if thrushes have built a nest
of your hair, if Andromeda
burns from your eyes.

Do not be surprised by prickly questions
from those who barely inhabit
their own fleeting lives, who barely taste
their own possibility, who barely dream.

If your hands are empty, treasureless,
if your toes have not grown claws,
if your obedient voice has not
become a wild cry, a howl,

you will reassure them. We warned you,
they might declare, there is nothing else,
no point, no meaning, no mystery at all,
just this frantic waiting to die.

And yet, they tremble, mute,
afraid you’ve returned without sweet
elixir for unspeakable thirst, without
a fluent dance or holy language

to teach them, without a compass
bearing to a forgotten border where
no one crosses without weeping
for the terrible beauty of galaxies

and granite and bone. They tremble,
hoping your lips hold a secret,
that the song your body now sings
will redeem them, yet they fear

your secret is dangerous, shattering,
and once it flies from your astonished
mouth, they-like you-must disintegrate
before unfolding tremulous wings.
HRTsOnFyR Sep 2015
The words that go unspoken actually make the most noise.
HRTsOnFyR Aug 2015
Here the waves rise high and fall on the icy
seas and white caps chew the driftwood logs of
hemlock and toss them wildly upon sandy beaches.
The steep mountains rise straight from the sea
floor as the December sun shines through the dark
clouds that hang heavy with snow near the top peaks.
Blue icebergs drift slowly down the narrow channel.
This volcanic island is one of many that are scattered
along the coast of Southeastern Alaska.
On the South end of the island is another
tiny island and on it stands an old lighthouse,
a shambles. It has a curving staircase and an
old broken lamp that used to beckon to ships at
sea. Wild grasses and goosetongue cover the ground
and close by Sitka blacktail feed and gray gulls
circle. There is a mountain stream nearby and
in the fall the salmon spawn at its mouth. The
black bear and grizzly scoop them up with great
sweeps of their paws, their sharp claws gaffing
the silver bodies.
Walking North along the deer trail from the
South end of the island are remnants of the Treadwell
Mine. It was the largest gold mine in the world.
In the early 1900's the tunnel they were digging
underneath Gastineau Channel caved in and the sea
claimed her gold. The foundry still stands a rusty
red.
The dining halls are vacant, broken white
dishes are strewn inside. The tennis court that
was built for the employees is overgrown with hops
that have climbed over the high fence and grown
up between cracks in the cement floor. The flume
still carries water rushing in it half-hidden in
the rain-forest which is slowly reclaiming the
land. The beach here by the ocean is fine white
sand, full of mica, gold and pieces of white dishes.
Potsherds for future archeologists, washed clean,
smooth and round by the circular waves of this
deep, dark green water.
Down past the old gold mine is Cahill's house,
yellow and once magnificent. They managed the mine. The long staircase is boarded up and so
are the large windows. The gardens are wild, irises
bud in the spring at the end of the lawn, and in
the summer a huge rose path, full of dark crimson
blooms frames the edge of the sea; strawberries
grow nearby dark pink and succulent. Red raspberries
grow further down the path in a tangle of profusion;
close by is a pale pink rose path, full of those
small wild roses that smell fragrant. An iron-
barred swing stands tall on the edge of the beach.
I swing there and at high tide I can jump in the
ocean from high up in the air. There is an old
tetter-totter too. And, it is like finding the
emperor's palace abandoned.
There is a knoll behind the old house called
Grassy Hill. It is covered with a blanket of hard
crisp snow. In the spring it is covered with sweet
white clover and soft grasses. It is easy to find
four leaf clovers there, walking below the hill
toward the beach is a dell. It is a small clearing
in between the raspberry patch and tall cottonwood
trees. It is a good place for a picnic. It is
a short walk again to the beach and off to the
right is a small pond, Grassy Pond. It is frozen
solid and I skate on it. In the summer I swim
here because it is warmer than the ocean. In the
spring I wade out, stand very still and catch baby
flounders and bullheads with my hands; I am fast
and quick and have good eyes. Flounders are bottom
fish that look like sand.
Walking North again over a rise I come to
a field filled with snow; in the spring it is a
blaze of magenta fireweed. Often I will sit in
it surrounded by bright petals and sketch the mountains
beyond. Nearby are salmonberry bushes which have
cerise blossoms in early spring; by the end of
summer, golden-orange berries hang on their green
branches. The bears love to eat them and so do
I. But the wild strawberries are my first love,
then the tangy raspberries. I don't like the high-
bush cranberries, huckleberries, currants or the
sour gooseberries that grow in my mother's garden
and the blueberries are only good for pies, jams
and jellies. I like the little ligonberries that
grow close to the earth in the meadow, but they
are hard to find.
Looking across this island I see Mt. Jumbo,
the mountain that towers above the thick Tongass forest of pine, hemlock and spruce. It was a volcano
and is rugged and snow-covered. I hike up the
trail leading to the base of the mountain. The
trail starts out behind a patch of blueberry bushes
and winds lazily upwards crossing a stream where
I can stop and fish for trout and eat lunch; on
top is a meadow. Spring is my favorite season
here. The yellow water lilies bud on top of large
muskeg holes. The dark pink blueberry bushes form
a ring around the meadow with their delicate pink
blossoms. The purple and yellow violets are in
bloom and bright yellow skunk cabbage abounds, the
devil's club are turning green again and fields
of beige Alaskan cotton fan the air, slender stalks
that grow in the wet marshy places. Here and there
a wild columbine blooms. It is here in these meadows
that I find the lime-green bull pine, whose limbs
grow up instead of down. Walking along the trail
beside the meadow I soon come to an old wooden
cabin. It is owned by the mine and consists of
two rooms, a medium-sized kitchen with an eating
area and wood table and a large bedroom with four
World War II army cots and a cream colored dresser.
Nobody lives here anymore, but hikers, deer hunters,
and an occasional bear use the place. Next door
to the cabin is the well house which feeds the
flume. The flume flows from here down the mountain
side to the old mine and power plant. An old man
still takes care of the power plant. He lives
in a big dark green house with his family and the
power plant is all blue-gray metal. I can stand
outside and listen to the whirl of the generators.
I like to walk in the forest on top of the old
flume and listen to the sound of the water rushing
past under my bare feet.
In the winter the meadow is different: all
silent, still and snow-covered. The trees are
heavy with weighty branches and icicles dangle
off their limbs, long, elegant, shining. All the
birds are gone but the little brown snowbirds and
the white ptarmigan. The meadow is a field of
white and I can ski softly down towards the sea.
The trout stream is frozen and the waterfall quiet,
an ice palace behind crystal caves. The hard smooth-
ness of the ice feels good to my touch, this frozen
water, this winter.
Down below at the edge of the sea is yet another
type of ice. Salt water is treacherous; it doesn'tfreeze solid, it is unreliable and will break under
my weight. Here are the beached icebergs that
the high tide has left. Blue white treasures,
gigantic crystals tossed adrift by glaciers. Glisten-
ing, wet, gleaming in the winter sun, some still
half-buried in the sea, drifting slowly out again.
And it is noisy here, the gray gulls call to each
other, circling overhead. The ravens and crows
are walking, squawking along the beach. The Taku
wind is blowing down the channel, swirling, chill,
singing in my ear. Far out across the channel
humpback whales slap their tails against the water.
On the beach kelp whips are caught in wet clumps
of seaweed as the winter tide rises higher and
higher. The smell of salty spray permeates everything
and the dark clouds roll in from behind the steep
mountains.
Suddenly it snows. Soft, furry, thick flakes,
in front of me, behind, to the sides, holding me
in a blizzard of whiteness, light: snow.
This is a piece my grandmother had published in the 70's and I was lucky enough to find it. She passed on a few years ago and I miss her with all of my heart. She was my rock and my foundation, my counselor, mentor and best friend. I can still hear the windchimes that gently twinkled on her front porch, and smell the scent of the earth on my hands as I helped her **** the rose garden. I am glad that she is finally free of the pain that entombed her crippled body for nearly half of her life, but I wish I could hear her voice one last time. So thank God she was a writer, because when I read her poems and stories, I can!  She wasn't a perfect woman, but she was the strongest, smartest, most courageous woman I have ever known.
3.3k · Apr 2017
Untitled by Chanda Kaushik
HRTsOnFyR Apr 2017
I have outgrown many things.
I have outgrown relatives who gladly offer criticism but not support.
I have outgrown my need to meet family's unrealistic expectations of me.
I have outgrown girls who wear masks and secretly rejoice at my mistakes.
I have outgrown shrinking myself for those who are intimidated by my intelligence and outspoken nature both.
I have outgrown friends who cannot celebrate my accomplishments.
I have outgrown people who conveniently disappear whenever life gets a little dark.
I have outgrown those who take pleasure in gossiping and spreading negativity.
I have outgrown dull,meaningless conversations that feel forced.
I have outgrown those who don't take a stand against ignorance and injustice.
I have outgrown trying to please everyone.
I have outgrown society constantly telling me I'm not beautiful,smart, or worthy enough to achieve anything.
I have outgrown my tendency to fill my mind with self doubt and insecurity decades ago.
I have outgrown trying to find reasons not to love my humble self.
I have outgrown anything and anyone that does not enrich the essence of my soul.
I have outgrown many things and I've never felt freer.

~Poem by Chanda Kaushik
HRTsOnFyR Mar 2017
Love a man whose strength of character precedes him on his journey in life.

Love a man who’s not afraid to stumble and fall, only to pick himself up and face the wind once more.

Love a man who’s made mistakes and whose heart is etched with scars of long lost loves, lingering embraces and kisses that tore at the soul.

Love a man who listens to his inner guides, and not knowing exactly where they lead, picks up his sword and leads his horse into the dark of a forest from where he may never return.

Because he has faith in his dreams, even those that leave him broken and in need of a fresh start.


Because he is the wizard of his own destiny, weaving the strands of the unknown into a tapestry that he can cover himself with when times are hard.

Because he is a warrior and he is hungry for a life that is lived without regrets.

Love a man whose smile is honest and whose eyes fell you to your knees.

Love a man who will turn away from safety, trusting that his passions are a danger he cannot live without.

Love a man whose hands know how to explore your secrets and his body awakens every sin you’ve ever craved—he won’t judge you, he’s a worshiper of the Feminine.

Love a man whose tears are hot, who bathes in the ashes of his mistakes. Love him when his eyes are shadowed, when he walks the beach in search of his muse, when he stands naked in a soul consuming fire; because he’ll come out stronger than before. He’s promised you that and he keeps his word.

A man who understands the journey, will not apologize for where his mind leads him. He will seek wisdom from any place that it hides. This man is a visionary, and he seeks a woman whose life is her own.

He will own you if you ask it, but only when you allow him into your darkest requests. He will advise you if you need it, but give you space to follow your own truth. He will understand that your journey is a battlefield only you can lay yourself down on.

But ask him for protection and you’ll hear his sword rasp out of its shield.

Love a man who dreams of the future but never wastes today.

Love a man whose intensity keeps the wolves at bay.

Leave your door wide open, he will come to you when you need him – stranger, seeker, sinner; thinker.

Men on their journey push past the mists of the unknown and bare themselves to loss or gain, whichever will find him first, and trusting in the process, awaken stronger, more alive, gifting the world with their insights and inventions.

Men on their journey will enjoy your mind, will yearn to learn from you—will find their pleasure in discovering your truth.

Men on their journey are wild and sensual. Because their soul knows no boundaries, their thoughts are limitless, their voices can either soothe or excite.

Love a man who shakes loose the questions of the ages, who throws himself in to the sea, seeking salty respite from the ravages of his quests, who listens to the call of mermaids, and believes that the spirit world holds more wisdom than all the books in the world.

Love a man who’ll be on his journey until his dying day.

You’ll know him by his integrity. He’ll never tell you that he’s finished being the adventurer.

You'll know him by his vulnerable heart.
2.8k · Sep 2015
Humility (10W)
HRTsOnFyR Sep 2015
Arm yourselves with shame... Humble heartedness; the gallows of Ego.
2.0k · May 2015
infinite*
HRTsOnFyR May 2015
In my mind, as infinite as the heavens,
I am but a starry eyed stranger

Wandering through her shimmering realms
Beneath an ebony sky, laced with crimson,
Beclouded with spiraling sprays of stardust

A child, a warrior, a saint full of sin,
I pass through the vapour of my shadowselves

Layers falling away like rotten tree bark
Exposing the rings within, like fingerprints,
Looping coils of time, bending but unbroken

Somewhere in the distance a dragonfly dances on the surface of the water,
Unknowingly admired by a sharp toothed Chinook

As another lost soul pulls back on a well worn syringe,
Seated on a broken toilet, slowly leaking across the scarred, yellow linoleum.

While a mother in Africa nurses a starving baby from her malnourished breast,
A stomach ravaged by dysentery,
Lips cracked and bleeding beneath the relentless heat of the sun,

And a pimple faced pop star sips champagne from a crystal goblet,
Wearing eight hundred dollar sunglasses and basking on a beach in Barbados,

Where they will spend more on hotels and liquor for a week than most families will earn in wages all year.

I close my eyes to imagine a world where only dragonflies sip champagne,

and people ACTUALLY care about one another.

But the former seems more likely than the latter...
So I return to my inner sanctuary of dreams...
And once again, I am infinite.
1.8k · Aug 2015
Sorrow and Optimism
HRTsOnFyR Aug 2015
My shoes are scraped and scuffed,
But I'm still walking.
My voice is pained and gruff,
Yet I'm still talking.
My fear appears so tough,
But I'm not balking.
My love had never seemed enough,
So this is shocking.
I feel so blessed.
Each wound a test.
Please hear me knocking.
1.8k · Jun 2017
21 Word Poem
HRTsOnFyR Jun 2017
That you are not loved yet is because a wave breaks at just the right time and not a minute sooner...
This is a line from a post off of Facebook... It is not an original of mine, but it is beautiful, and should be shared nonetheless.
The author is Unknown
1.8k · May 2015
Armageddon's rainbow
HRTsOnFyR May 2015
Black carbon soot
Yellow, blue flames
Like a thief, the night took
Our fair sunlight away
Green etheral gases
Red burning star
Like a dog, the earth shook
Spewing fire and tar
Pink pedaled roses
White fallen snow
Like an axe, striking wood
Our minds reel from the blow
Lavendar mists
Gray cloudy seas
Like an angel, forsaken
We’ll be brought to our knees.
1.6k · Nov 2016
Be Lighthearted, Kinfolk
HRTsOnFyR Nov 2016
Light as a feather
We flow like the river,
Treading so softly
The grass never quivers,
Laughing and loving
And threading our fingers,
May friendship and beauty
Be all we let linger.
1.4k · Oct 2015
Renewal (10W)
HRTsOnFyR Oct 2015
°°
~Keep changing perspective;
If only to combat the dwindling light~
°°°*°
1.3k · Aug 2015
Emotional-Substance Abuse
HRTsOnFyR Aug 2015
Beware the addictive properties of our own negative emotions.
Anxiety is a stronger stimulant than a quarter ounce of the highest grade of *******.
Anger as intoxicating as a fifth of precisely aged whiskey.
Sorrow as mind numbing as fourty cc's of premium China White.
Denial masks pain like an eighty miligram oxycontin.
Fear can paralyze like propofol.
Ignorance more dangerous than a speed ball served in a ***** needle at a Hepatitis C support group.
1.3k · Sep 2015
Thru the Looking Glass
HRTsOnFyR Sep 2015
Though phantoms may be howling at the edges of my mind
Ripping away gobs of flesh until my soul lies exposed
Rotting off my skull, hanging loose from my tired bones
Whilst the terrifying multitude of my unseen fear
Hath become like the vile, gnashing teeth of night's Reaper
As I bare witness to the demons rising and writhing
Within the silver pool of my own lean, haunted reflection
Yet I cannot turn away; Even in my darkest hour
I must summon the courage to stay; For this is my reckoning.
1.3k · Aug 2016
My Own Pair of Wings
HRTsOnFyR Aug 2016
Walk a mile in this soul
And you'll see what I see
All that loves turns to gold
All that's lost sets you free

No matter the cost
I'ma keep being me
Ain't no price for what I've bought
Except my own pair of wings
Shout out to Harlon Rivers for the inspiration for this from the title of his collection, and to the old homeless man I met in Mobile Alabama who shared some of his poetry with me, for he is the subject of the matter.
HRTsOnFyR Sep 2015
He pulls a feather from her bodice
She laughs and turns a coy cheek.
The boa, all but bare, looks ragged.
Like her smile when she's feeling anxious.
She feels the heat of his eyes, feels his intensity.
Her fears belie her desires. She wishes she could see.
See what he sees. See this thing that he calls beautiful.
He seems to look to look right through her skin.
But all she can focus on is the curves and the scars.
The strange shape of her body. The embarrassment.
The awkward turn of her mouth. The knit in her brow.
Her conflicts with pleasure, her repulsion for needing to submit.
The memories that bite at the back of her moans.
The shadows of abuse crawling out of the seams.
Ugly, twisted devils that sought to steal her innocence.
Returning to feed again, to taint the morrows of adulthood.
All of these things color the love she makes.
Tar and feather it. Blacken it with shame.
He senses her discomfort. Internalizes it. Confuses it.
He shrinks back, recoiling from the slap of rejection.
But it isn't him at all. Him, she craves. Salivates for.
But like the ringing of Pavlov's bell, they've built a deeper path.
Men she never knew; Can't even remember. Faces obscured.
Yet she can trace the footprints they've left on her mind.
Tracks set with iron spikes running through the bedrock,
Through the deepest layers of her psyche. Below the surface.
To where thoughts exist without consciousness, without effort.
The symphony of tragedy continues to play on.
She has no words to express this to him.
She can only hope that he senses it.
Senses the murky bubbles of awakening as they arise.
Senses her need for him. Her need for his patience.
Senses her need for silence, for distance and recollection.
Senses her need for his quiet embrace. For understanding
For her troubled state of mind and damaged sense of self.
For a self that she has barely even begun to understand.
HRTsOnFyR Jul 2015
An Oriental doll      
   In front of            
A  Wild West painting              
       in my    
Mother's house...  
East meets West.    
Polar Opposites.  
  Together.    
   Just        
    Trying to            
     Tell            
      Their        
       Story...
1.2k · Jun 2015
On a Wire
HRTsOnFyR Jun 2015
Here I spin
Upon a wire
Strip my flesh
And stoke the fire
Bent so low
My soul breaks higher
Of empty hearts
and words
I tire :'(
Trying to keep my sanity. NOT an easy task these days.
1.2k · Sep 2015
My Snuggle-bug
HRTsOnFyR Sep 2015
There's nothing quite like cuddling you
Early in the morning
While the house lies still and quiet
And it feels like all the world is fast asleep
Your bristly chin rubbing across my forhead
Your eyes smiling seductively with your **** lips
Hungry, yet gentle, your fingertips move across my hips
I burrow down against your chest
There's nowhere safer than here in your arms
The scent of your skin like Linus' blanket to my soul
HRTsOnFyR Apr 2015
Otherwise things continue
in bright yellow rounds.
The road tears at my throat,
I cannot see it's path,
tar-eyed I stumble,
fall, cry out,
mute and stillborn.

This is how it should be,
circles, rounds, crocus, wild,
geese south, frozen ******
ponds. Yet I am the infitnite

whirlwind at the center.
and the giant at the edge
of the universe. Still
I call, cry out: blind.

Otherwise I would leap high
hurling myself past moons
to become star: brilliant,
pulsating. The road tears at throat
yet things continue, as I revolve the orb.
My grandma wrote this year's ago. I miss her dearly
1.1k · Jun 2015
scar tissue
HRTsOnFyR Jun 2015
I watch the blade pierce my skin, yet I feel nothing

Pearls of blood gather in the seams of the wound

An errant thumb smears across the coppery beads of life

Staining the subtle, spidered paths of my palms

I lack the courage to push deeper

I try not to curse the steel as I feel my hand shaking

A crooked "T" forms out of the scar tissue

An odd accompaniment to the fading india ink smiley face I so proudly engraved at 12

The angry pink flesh of my grief cries out for recognition

With a pasty blue grin, the naivety of my youth only mocks this unspeakable pain

Tears fall quietly down my face as I prepare for another wave of pretending...

Another wave of forgetting
   Of regretting...
      Of blood letting.
I will always love you Tyson
1.1k · Sep 2015
A Longing
HRTsOnFyR Sep 2015
While the other children were content
To play jacks and skip rope
She preffered the company of the old oak tree
Towering in the back corner lot of the schoolyard
She rested against it's mighty trunk
Basking in the cool shade she loosened her bonnet
Only the toes of her patent leather shoes
Catching beams of wavering sunlight
As they arched through the rustling leaves
A sweet song of a robin whistled amongst the branches
As she smoothed the pleats of her dress
A leather bound book at rest on her thighs
It's jacket so familiar and a comfort to the touch
The scent of it's brown and curling pages
Reminding her of late winter nights by the fire
When her grandmother's kind smile shone so brightly
As the flames from the hearth danced in her eyes
While she spun the girl one of her many stories
As deftly as her fingers could pull stitches
From a mountain of patchwork piled on her lap
The chiming of the bell marked the end of play
And she shook herself from her daydream
Dusting off the errant leaves and grasses
She lined up at the entrance to the courtyard
A sweet smile forming on her lips
Though a measure of sorrow still lingered in her heart
A bittersweet mix both of pleasure and mourning
Her spirit pining for the solace of those precious days; of her past
1.1k · Jun 2015
Nurture the Rose Within
HRTsOnFyR Jun 2015
Tomorrow unfolds like a spring-born flower into a bright spectacle…

Today’s showers, no matter how uncomfortable, are necessary…

Yesterday is buried along with last season’s splendor, enriching the soil.
Wrote by Tom Higginbotham, May 20, 2008 at 11:22 pm... Had to repost, thanks Mr. H
1.1k · Apr 2015
Big Sky Current
HRTsOnFyR Apr 2015
His body grounds me...
I was an alternating current
with a frayed wire
Sputtering... sparking...
Misfiring...
Alone and flickering in quiet desperation...
Then he drew me in with his hands
Held me tightly, pulling me close...
Inviting me into his Center
Insulating my circuits from the heat of their own charge,
Reigniting those cold, dead connections...
Redirecting, realigning
Aeons of my dissipated energies.
I become more, now, than some
Reckless, erratic sunburst...
Snapping and flaring on the mere surface of things...
A loving so strong it makes me re-enter the belly of the beast,
He and I, we become the pulse...
Folding ourselves into the warm, primitive heart of God...
Selflessness... Sacrifice...
Joy, Radiance... Gratitude...
I find all these things here.
And everything false just quietly disappears.
1.0k · Feb 2016
Beyond the Pearly Gates
HRTsOnFyR Feb 2016
She enters into the space where
Everything becomes everything...
Race, religion, science, astrology, God,
Angels and Demons;
The story of time continues,
An unbroken circle.
The passionate dancing of spirits,
Histories faint whisperings.
The space between the lines,
Intermittent radar blips.
Laughter and bloodshed and tears
Softly spoken prayers;
A wide eyed little girl
Witnessing her rebirth,
Awakening from an unconscious slumber,
Burdened by the weight of fear.
One eye open;
The body bracing for impact
Afraid to land,
Afraid to crash and burn,
From sheer speed,
From this flight of mind;
Disorientating and intoxicating,
Latitude and longitude become obscure.
Interference and interception
Can be detected on the air waves,
Nothing feels tangible,
Everything tastes like abstract breath.
The only compass she trusts
Is her heart,
And nothing can detour her
From her course.
She waits in the wings,
Watching the horizon...
The morning sun rises,
Bearer of heat and light;
Standing tall in the afterglow,
With golden halo,
Knowing she truly has been
Blessed and loved.
HRTsOnFyR Apr 2017
I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
1.0k · Oct 2016
Willamette River Blues
HRTsOnFyR Oct 2016
Seated on the edge of the riverbank
Watching raindrops fall across the city light's reflection;
A living Monet of color and fluidity and the sutble refractions of life.
The bridge above me is humming with traffic,
The railyard to my left fills the cold night with the timeless bellowing of midnight trains,
Used syringes lay amongst the driftwood here.
A crudely painted ******* adorns the trail head,
Overgrown with brambles bushes and blackberry vines.
A solitary ****** cruises the shallow dregs of shore
On an endless quest to find her mate,
Painfully unawares of his fate,
Fallen victim to a poacher,
Some careless fool with a greedy and discontented heart.
The tents and tarps of Portland's homeless, the lost and forgotten, line these hillsides;
Their many dreams and hopes lie broken amidst the rubble of this everyday existence.
I sit here often, smoking and thinking, and watching the ever changing lights.
Every now and again I take a picture, gather a stone, or fall asleep to the sound of rain
And the smell of earth and leaves and rushing water.
1.0k · Jul 2015
Cottonwood Beach
HRTsOnFyR Jul 2015
I watch the cottonwood
seeds
gather on the
wildflowers and
the weeds.
The trail looks a gentle
snowfall
  of dust,
Like the back corner
of grandmother's attic...
Blanketed in mystery
and
  well worn with
                   the years.
White sand and flakes of
pyrite
  glitter on the
  water's edge,
Dancing
with the rythym of the  
  waves...
A hummingbird
chases a dragonfly
into a tangerine sunset.
A hawk circles the road looking
for a wayward mouse.
I cry a silent prayer.
And can
   only
think of you,
My Angel.
And
    the
       wind
            cries
                 too...
Singing her
sorrowful song
Only for you,
My Angel,
Only for you...
963 · Aug 2015
Miss my little Angel
HRTsOnFyR Aug 2015
Your scent still lingers on the fabrics.
I breathe you in
as I rifle through
the war torn baggage
and mislaid remnants.
This pile of rubble from our past.
Salt tears at the corners of my eyes
Hot and heavy,
liquid beads of sorrow
Pools that gather 'tween my lashes.
A blurry burst of remembering
That knocks the wind
right from my chest.
Aghast and agape my soul lies crying
Struck dumb from death, for dying
Hurts the living
Forever more than
Those who pass.
Finding your baby clothes in the suitcases and hampers. Help me to be brave my shining little star
960 · Jun 2015
Anticipation...
HRTsOnFyR Jun 2015
I am but
           A sheep
Who can sport the wolf's
           Clothes.
        Here I stand,
      Called to battle,
    With a heart made
           Of gold.
945 · Apr 2015
(M[(Y)(OUR)] Mind
HRTsOnFyR Apr 2015
Tetragrams and anagrams
Pseudonyms and sleight-of-hands
Betwixt the lines lie crooked spines
Textured, gestured, shamed and shrined
Functions, Factions, fabled fiction
Starred and Crossed, they're scored and stitched in
Faeries, furies, funded theories
Quantum physics, quarks and queries
Embers bright, a red clad knight
Winged cats with cubic heights
Flux your lux, set down your labels
Time entwines both swine and angels
Mumbled murmurs, lazy learners
Beacons, bosons, carbon burners
Codecs keyed for hertz and bytes
Ancient tones 'n pheremonones
Reflect,
     Refract,
         Retract...
             Ignite.
Our shadow selves toll ghostly bells
Building walls, erecting shelves
Saviours, slaves, enchanted knaves,
'Tis man, himself, 'creates these Hells...
909 · Mar 2016
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata
HRTsOnFyR Mar 2016
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
HRTsOnFyR May 2015
I know you said to try and not make any more points... But I can't just sit idly by while excellent points are ignored and disregarded in favor of illusions.

You can either choose to embrace and admire my intellect... Or you can attempt to belittle and censor it. The way my mind works is a little different than most, and that shouldn't be a threat to you. It should be an asset.

I'm sure I can be frustrating to deal with because I have yet to tame my ego and temper entirely, but those flaws have been brought to my attention.

I'm only 28, so I am fairly confident that there's still hope for a full recovery. It took you until you were 40 to make any real corrections in your behavior.

I was there with you from 29 until the present time... So I would find it a bit ironic if you expected perfection from me at 28.

Especially when I feel like I'm leaps and bounds ahead of most people my age, or even your age, when it comes to being self aware, open hearted and willing to change.

All I need is love and affection. I've been bullied and rejected and ignored by both of my parents. The only way I know how to react is by assuming that their mistreatment is justified... And to accept it with a sorrowful, silent dignity.

Its not a far cry from my own fears about myself anyhow. I've always been the awkward misfit daughter of a slovenly, ignorant nutcase. If that's enough to make me question my own value and self worth.

It doesn't take much for someone that I trust to convince me that I don't have any anyhow.

What I need from a relationship is someone who understands those things, and is willing to extend their affections to me unconditionally.

If that's too much for you, then I understand. Its hard to show love when you've never been taught it. Believe me, I know.

But I also know that honesty, sincerity and a compassionate heart can solve all of life's issues. 

As long as I resonate with that truth, I know that the Universe must respond to it.

A love as intense as mine; A spirit as genuinely captivated by wonder; Inspired by nature and comforted by our inherent divinity...

Cannot... Nay, WILL NOT be left wanting. Of that I'm sure.

I hope you can put down your defenses long enough to see that we are on the same team.

Pride is a silly thing to cling to when there are broken hearts and unmentionable sufferings to address in our own lives and families.

What does a man gain from the glorified conquests of his ego if, in the end, he is to suffer the loss of his own soul?

I love you. That's all I can say. Although I will probably never send you a copy of this letter... I somehow feel better nonetheless. I wish you could hold me one last time.
890 · May 2015
For Tyson, My Love
HRTsOnFyR May 2015
For Tyson, My Love

Never will I meet another like you
Your light shone brighter than the Sun.
Your coo was as beautiful as a robin's song
carried on the wind.
Your smile was unfathomably contagious.
The way you would cut your eyes
and smile so knowingly...
As if you held a secret
Just between you and me...
and when you smiled,
I felt I knew it too.
There will never be an answer.
No reason could ever be sufficient.
You came here as an Angel,
and as an Angel you did leave us.
I am honored to have known you
For even a short while.
You may have only been a baby
But your spirit felt 100 years old...
And although your time here seemed limited,
the imprint you left is infinite.
You are ageless.
You are the embodiment of love.
You are my Guardian.
My Angel Elite.
My watchtower.
My lighthouse.
My baby. Forever.
Mine Grumble Grumble
Mine Squishee Man.
Mine Love.
Until my last breathe.
And even after...
My 6 month old son passed from SIDS 2 days ago. There are no words.
HRTsOnFyR Apr 2017
I met an insomniac through a Craigslist post

Who alleged: She’d stolen > 2000 hearts

On subways/escalators/sidewalks – men turn to toast

(By her gorgon glance, she boasts, even testicles depart) .

How does one ensnare one fashioned of nails and sap?

By invisibility, mirrored shield, winged boots, curved sword?

The heart’s armor, thus arrayed, can easily entrap

This goddess, dreadlocked in her own umbilical cord.

But I do not stoop to conquer, but to please

This walking paradox, over-caffeinated, old soul

Intoxicated by words, music, auteurs (esp. Scorsese) ,

You’re my aurora, glowing green, in the north celestial pole.

Slacker, artist, writer, words have escaped you:

You lay breathless at the foot of your wandering Jew.

by Beryl Dov
862 · Nov 2015
Dancing with the Cosmos
HRTsOnFyR Nov 2015
Four quarter moons turn,
Four silver glances in time,
Bound to seven planetary arms,
Rotational orbits,
Spiral and thunder,
Spoke and wheel,
The hammer falls,
Throws the cogs into gear,
Churning out these ghosts of creation,
Violence and chaos bed the morning,
A wedding dress for the sun,
A veil for the moon,
The audience attends in quiet slumber,
Death is merely a rite of passage,
Birth reshapes the fallen ashes,
Carbon feeds the famished soil,
A chain of daisies rise from the scorched undergrowth,
Carving a path through a
Charcoal coated forest,
Life slowly returns to life,
Tender shoots of lavender,
Mint and fern unfurl,
An old woman fills her water vessel
Bent along the edge of the river banks.
Her gentle eyes,
The color of emeralds and honey,
Reflect the shimmering starlight...
Each one shining like a freshly shorn pearl.
A choir of trees sings;
The melody riding on the breath of the wind,
Leaves a lingering kiss like a whisper,
on her cheek.
Beneath the wiry hair of an unkempt  willow
She makes a bed of dry grasses and deerskin,
Sets in for the anothet night beneath this ebony colored canvas.
She lies awake in revelry,
recalling those stories of the great and powerful Gods of long forgotten twilights...
Their portraits drawn in celestial inks of sapphire, crimson and gold,
Transcribed in the blood of her ancestors,
Mirrored in the strength of her spine,
Amplified by the depths of her heart,
She, like so many before her,
Will endure the weight of another days work,
Will continue the dance between Sky and Sea,
Earth and Beast...
Letting the seasons pass without judgement.
Grateful for every scar, every tear,
Every spontaneous bout of laughter,
And for every sweet sigh of relief.
#loveistheanswer
855 · Aug 2015
Soul Songs
HRTsOnFyR Aug 2015
My emotions stretch and unfurl
like tendrils drawing toward the Sun.
Rainbow twisting wires,
Ethereal antennas communing
with the subtle frequencies Life.
The undetectable choir of light waves
only measurable by science.
The "new-age" sorcery of man,
where cloaks and herbs
and timeless intuitions
are replaced by lab coats,
chemicals and categorical limitation.
If we can only quiet the errant mind chatter
we too will have the ears to hear.
There is a silent symphony of soul songs;
Rythyms, harmonies...  These pulses ARE
the very lifeblood of our existence.
The unfathomable Angelic speech of the Heavens.
Long dead tongues of an Ancient world.
The breathe of Love,
sweetly whispered on a summer breeze...
Who's only hope lies in the liberation of her message;
Like a butterfly's kiss upon a daisy
growing wild amongst the grasses
of our scorched and broken Earth.
849 · Aug 2015
Electric Eclectic (10W)
HRTsOnFyR Aug 2015
A single flame rebukes the darkness; I watch it dance.
823 · Sep 2015
Crescendo(10W)
HRTsOnFyR Sep 2015
Time is like a throwing star; It has many apexes
819 · Aug 2016
God, Indivisible
HRTsOnFyR Aug 2016
It matters not what lies behind
Or what may lie ahead,
When waking dreams and evil things
Reside in each man's head.
They rattle chains and haunt our brains,
They feast upon our fears;
Consuming joy and hope and trust,
And all that we've held dear.
We hear their cries and stoke the fires,
Descend with them to Hell;
We share their shame, but not in blame,
Then fight amongst ourselves;
'Tis rare one sees
That which he flees
Is but a timeless mirror.
From brilliant men, to hapless hearts,
To wicked, wretched souls...
They are no more, nor less, than we;
But fractions of one whole.
Though he may lack in this or that
While others seem to reign;
With better looks, or smarts in books,
More power, wealth or fame;
We mustn't bend to arrogance,
Nor envy, just the same...
For he who dims his brothers light
Still hath no brighter a flame;
Instead he lessens all our sight
And squanders his own gains.
Have faith in ALL that's here below
Was ordered, first, above.
And suffers much, the eldest man,
Outliving all he's loved;
While rich men live, as paranoids,
And poor men toil in pain.
The simple man, a laughing stock,
And genius feels insane.
While beauty's forged the darkest hearts,
As shallow, they became.
And lives of ease have yielded sloth
And left good bodies lame.
So none can measure, nor divide,
The worth of Moon and Sun....
Like bird and beast,
As Earth to Sea,
Dependent on the One.
The seasons change,
As well they should,
And ne'er can we forget....
We're nigh but little cosmic spokes
Whom churn the Infinite.
And so these planets and their stars
Keep wheeling 'round the sky,
The watchmen keeping track of time,
Our souls all keeping ties.
786 · Jan 2016
The meadowlark
HRTsOnFyR Jan 2016
The sleepy, starry eyed sky of night
Retires in an odd violet surrender,
Making way for a swiftly emerging dawn
As the viscous black blues of Midnight's celestial shore is waning,
They ebb into waves of apricot, magenta and tangerine hues
A solitary meadowlark perched about the ash grove sits quietly
Watching the remaining vestibules of fog drifting upwards, only to burn away in the heat of the sun
A cool wind blows in from the mountainside, whistling through leaves and rustling tail feathers
The scent of the far off sea tickles the old birds nostrils, holding the promise of silver backed sardine and beach scattered ***** legs
He feels the call of the spirit beneath him, arching his wings he leans into the breeze
A cerulean blue, cloudless skyline illuminates the eyes as he soars amongst evergreen hilltops and pine ladened mountains
His flight pattern as seamless as the air on which he moves,
His mind and body becoming one with the soundless synergy of the skies and the senses,
Bones among feathers,
First was winds, now is breathing.
He is the eternal
Infinite bliss indefinable
Ancient and etheric, a consciousness made complete
777 · Sep 2015
The Learning Curve
HRTsOnFyR Sep 2015
I don't require complete perfection,
Authenticity would suffice...
The two swords of mind
Are constantly dueling
Within the hearts of men.
Accept what is,
Tame the ravenous inner beasts,
Forgive your brother
For his fallible, carnal nature.
Also forgive yourself.
No man alive escapes desire,
Jealousy, anger, greed.
We all have known pain,
Mourning and loss;
To understand this with compassion
Becomes the test,
To embrace ourselves with lovingkindness
Is the goal.
This accomplishment supersedes merely abstaining,
Transcends our transgressions,
Licks the wounds of fate,
Heals the darkness.
Enter the perilous eye of
the storm ahead,
Unshakeable in faith.
Brimming with confidence and joy,
Humble and grateful.
Stand, immovable, in your divinity,
Protected and guided
By the highest order of knowledge.
Take every step.
Grow, love, learn, teach, trust,
Yet remain unafraid.
Fortitude and courage will reveal
The true Warriors.
741 · Oct 2015
An emerson excerpt
HRTsOnFyR Oct 2015
I am the owner of the sphere
Of the seven stars
and the solar year
Of Caesars hand
and Plato's brain
Of Lord Christ's heart
and Shakespeares strain
737 · Jun 2015
Bugs
HRTsOnFyR Jun 2015
Spiders creep along
Dew drop laden webbing
Dark and brooding
Quiet observers
Eight gangly arms of death
Aphids gather
On a rosebud
Sprite green and coral pink
Like freckles
On a fresh and vivid bloom
Lady bugs flutter
Abiding in tall grasses
Proclaiming hope
Promising growth
Like a
WildFlower
growing from a
tomb...
724 · Oct 2015
Loving You is Loving Me
HRTsOnFyR Oct 2015
Quiet little One...
No longer must you cling
To those clamouring,
Corrosive thoughts of old.
Accept that We Were
All born yesterday.
And again today...
And in every passing hour.
So even Now,
Our spirit pulsing with the Moment.
Breathe as the sky breathes...
One continuous sigh of Completion.
A subtle forward motion;
Effortless, attentive,
Unpolluted in contentment.
Arm yourself with joy,
Infinitely beguiled by life,
This plethora of blessings;
Never ceasing to revel in a Common state of wonder.
Your awkward smile,
Your broken shine,
Your gentle sorrows;
They light the candle
Of your eye; becoming
Amplifiers of your beauty...
Sparkling rays of laughter,
Tossed like tinsel,
Across each heartfelt Conversation.
Waken to the embrace of
Human error;
For both Comedy and Tragedy
Are remedies we share.
713 · Aug 2015
Realignment
HRTsOnFyR Aug 2015
Life is like a thousand
piece jigsaw puzzle
opened up on Christmas morning,
Laid out on
the formica top kitchen table.
All you see
is a sea of colors,
endless and random...
An unsurmontable feat before you.
Suddenly it happens...
You find two matching shapes,
then a third,
And before you know it
A corner piece...
The edges becoming more obvious.
A picture begins
forming in your mind's eye...
Confusion becomes creation
Labor's sweet reward finally realized.
695 · Dec 2015
Rebirth
HRTsOnFyR Dec 2015
I watch the leaves fall
Caught by the pull of the wind
Dancing on the currents
Weightless and free
A flock of color and movement
Each one synchronized to it's own rythym
Yet together, they move as one
Slipping between the fingers
Loosening themselves
From a tangle of gnarled branches
Finding release in the moods of the season
Gently falling in the pools of water below
Spinning in the fluidity
Reflecting the tones and the hues of the Earth
Reflecting the discarded sorrows of men
Reminding the eye of the cycle of change
A silent symphony of discordant notes
Creating a mural of raw, powerful beauty
The colors blend like a Monet
A sparkling image of hope
Winter's fragile bones
An undeniable promise of Spring
Rebirth
667 · Aug 2016
Courage comes in Waves
HRTsOnFyR Aug 2016
So many creation stories,
Myths, tales and legends...
Too many answers,
Yet so many questions.
An excess of words,
With an absence of feelings.
Time to make my own song,
My own verse on these sheets,
One God means One love,
Just One heart,
Just One beat....
The truth is as infinite as our explanations of it.
Tired of mourning.
Tired of crying out in the darkness.
Tired of vibrating from the mouth and not the spirit.
Fear has no place here.
I'll embrace the unknowing,
I shall cast down my sorrows,
And get my lamp glowing.
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