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966 · Nov 2018
otters
Addison René Nov 2018
otters are so cute
i like to watch otter videos on my facebook
otters make me happy
i want to hug all the otters
and live with them
i wish i was an otter
950 · Sep 2014
a "this isn't a poem" poem
Addison René Sep 2014
this isn't a ******* poem
this is unnecessary swearing
this is holding my breath over bridges,
and broken pinky promises and hearts.
this isn't a poem
this is free falling into fog,
waking up with knotted hair
and wondering what you're thinking about in the morning
this isn't a poem
this is what it's like to not have a perfect ending
853 · May 2016
creep
Addison René May 2016
i'm just feeling a little
indifferent
at this profound amount of
ambivalence
but i swear love you so much it's completely
ridiculous
it's like time slows down and then i become
limitless
848 · Aug 2016
sore throat
Addison René Aug 2016
inspiration is
a ******* waste
i just liked the way
your tounge tasted,
you called me "baby"
and carried my limbs when
my ligaments felt achy
845 · Aug 2014
when i first met you
Addison René Aug 2014
i've never been in a burning building
but standing in that room with you
sure did feel like it.
836 · Jul 2014
we:
Addison René Jul 2014
we:
you:
a guilt-seeking, vindictive missile
headed straight for my heart.
me:
a demolished pile of dust;
a humiliated heart in ruins.
792 · Nov 2015
black mass
Addison René Nov 2015
i'm having a of moment of un-clarity
like everything i've ever known
came crashing down in uncertainty
like i'm loving the way i hate myself
like i'm hating the way i love no one else
it's because we are content
with the sadness
and we carry that black mass
without a protest
and when we collapse into the darkness,
just sing a song with sad lyrics
with a bitter sound
and wear that distressed appearance
with a ******* demeanor
because everything i've ever wanted
has fallen right through my fingers
and you're never gonna be
as damaged as i will ever be
but here you are with me,
in a moment of un-clarity
782 · Jun 2015
illuminations
Addison René Jun 2015
we look into houses at night
and tell ourselves, that will be us one day"
illuminated by the idea that "us" and "one day"
will remain eternal
this runs through
our high-strung,
heart-strung,
minds
our bodies,
sprawled out
like the conglomeration of constellations that  
we look up into the sky at night
it's because we're trying to find something inspiring,
something awe-striking and divine
but we already are
we are ***** and demanding
we are spiralling and spinning
into the universe that longs for us -
we are illuminated
by the light that spills from houses at night
774 · Apr 2017
little entity
Addison René Apr 2017
i know i am
a little entity,
can sometimes be
a lot of work,
but doesn't require
much energy

i aspire a peaceful serenity,
not a fan of small talk,
i like my mornings spent
still and endlessly

i like your hands;
preferably,
where I can feel them
entirely.

this life is just so:

coincidental
and so, so
heavenly
770 · May 2017
u/me
Addison René May 2017
you are
a gentle giant
a peaceful
riot
you don't
know what
you are
in for

it's violently
delicious
and equally
as viscous

these sounds
escape
the mess
of your
mouth

i am
not a phase
or
a temporary escape
i just don't
know what
i am
good for
747 · May 2016
strng mmrs
Addison René May 2016
strange memories
crawling from underneath my skin
they wrap around my broken body
and around every limb

strange memories
creeping inside my head
they're drowning out every emotion
or maybe i'm just dead

strange memories
keeping me away from you
i didn't think you'd stay here
but i'm glad that you wanted to
just a dumb lil thing
743 · Jul 2018
vapor
Addison René Jul 2018
i don't know you anymore
but i used to
i don't know how you
say her name
but i think about it
more than i'd like to

you can’t just
crash into me
like i’m a
****** tree

now
these child-like hands
grasp for something
tangible
when all i ever wanted
was someone
understanable

just watch me run away
i know you’d love to
see me evaporate
i wrote this when i was 17 lol
725 · Jul 2014
summer thing
Addison René Jul 2014
i miss my blonde summer
hair
i miss the way you were
there
and how when we talked about nothing
and it always turned into
something
i miss the hazy days
together
and the way they went on
forever
sometimes though,
i felt
alone
and sometimes though,
you were
home
(whenever i was with you)
but most times though,
you
weren't
and that
hurt
and now i know i was
wrong
for believing you when
you sang your stupid, stupid
songs
quivering lips softly
bitten
while the end was starting to be
written
i really did
care....
guess it's too good to be true
when he makes you feel like you're dancing on air
712 · Mar 2016
ocean eyes
Addison René Mar 2016
i've never loved a pair of blue eyes
just seas of green and everything in between

i've never been a part of something larger
just floating around in an endless harbor

i've never laughed with such conviction
accompanied with the feeling of a bare existence

i've never chosen to be loved so easily
but with you it comes so peacefully
697 · Jul 2014
do not fall in love with me
Addison René Jul 2014
do not fall in love with me
i will only breathe you in so deep,
you will not be able to escape.
i will constantly rearrange your consonants
and syllables to make you
more symetric.
do not fall in love with me
i will only **** you in,
surpass every expectation
you've ever had of me,
spit you out,
and sew your
unapologetic apologies
into ****** poetry.
do not fall in love with me.
sorry this is me being a pretentious ****
692 · Jul 2015
say anything
Addison René Jul 2015
you've got a lot to say
when you sigh
and you don't say anything
like:
you don't know what it's like everyday
and:
you're too young to understand why
you
tell me that it's not so simple
that
life isn't always the way it seems
and
seven hundred other cliches
about the time you almost jumped
and
how you're tired of just settling
how you're
being a fog that's settled at dawn
you're
fighting the urge to lay down and yawn
you
like to sleep,
to escape
i like to sleep
so i can dream
dreams of eyes that say everything,
like a glance
that radiates what your thoughts sing,
a moment
where all things feel invincible
a time
where i don't feel so invisible
where it all comes into place
laced in between your fingers
and then you kiss my face
but,
you don't say anything at all
i revised this
685 · Aug 2014
please
Addison René Aug 2014
please
say the words you know
i want to say.
please
never change,
let me meet the skeletons in your closet,
let me hear your silent screams,
and define the word "forever" for me.
please
capture every moment
like a little piece of infinity,
so satisfactory that we savor it.
please
be my music,
play me like your guitar.
please**
melt in my mouth like molasses,
and breathe me into oblivion.
684 · Sep 2014
my words
Addison René Sep 2014
my words are going to hit you.
so hard,
you forget your first name.
the paintings etched on your skin
will now be our story
and i want your
cigarette-stained fingertips
to burn holes into
my skin -
set me on fire.
my words are going to stay with you
while you're not
holding your breath
on bridges,
tunnels,
elevators,
traintracks...
and while my face would be turning blue,
with lack of oxygen.
my words are
so precisely
and concisely
constructed into sentences,
that are never spoken,
never whispered,
uttered,
or murmured;
but they are written down
for you to read.
so please -
touch my face
tell me you love me
then *set me on fire.
literally an example of stream of consciousness
681 · Apr 2018
enjoy the view
Addison René Apr 2018
when i first started driving
my mom told me i was
too inexperienced
to enjoy the scenery

now i'm in my 20s
and all i think about
is the scenery

and

how easy it could be
to crash into any tree
662 · Oct 2016
thank you very much
Addison René Oct 2016
if you could feel
the way I feel
you probably
wouldn't be here
right now
661 · Nov 2016
home
Addison René Nov 2016
i'm swingin in slowly,
entirely and wholey
like my mother used to tell me
i'm just trying to figure out where i belong

i'm homesick for a home
i've never known
and a home is not a home
when you're on your own

i'm crawling in quietly,
softly and slightly
like my mother used to tell me
"you won't get far by just stringing yourself along"
cheesier than a grilled cheese
647 · Nov 2018
caffeination station
Addison René Nov 2018
burns all over my body
from over-priced coffee
i'm running on E
and she needs her caffeine
don't we all?

gonna go home tonight
walk a million miles
in my own shoes
i'd do it
i'll do it for you

don't act like it doesn't matter
it doesn't matter to me at all
time is always wasted
isn't it just amazing?
all i need is a good night's sleep

don't we all
643 · Jan 2016
let me in
Addison René Jan 2016
let me crack open your already fractured skull,
and clean up the mess inside
these nimble fingers of mine
ache to be laced within yours
and i let me tear
the pages of a broken childhood
from your family photo albums
so we can write a new story
of kissing all the boo boos
and searching for the monsters under your bed
we can take the flashlights
out behind the rows of pine trees at night
and let me make shadow puppets of a life reimagined  
there's a breeze that flows
through the familiarity of this feeling
you can find it in the kitchen sink,
this shattered old bathroom mirror,
and a living room that never really felt alive
they don't matter anymore
and it's as if you never even lived here at all
and the boy stands in front of me
in the shadows of a second life
with a fractured skull and menthol breath
stringed with words that roll off his tongue
like barbed wire
because you don't even know yourself
and you're a fighting for a chance
at a life worth living
but these things will pass -
in and out of a melancholy mind of yours
while i remain on the bedroom floor
of the house you spent years trying to escape
cleaning up the mess inside your head
in and out of first person but oh well
642 · Sep 2014
a public apology
Addison René Sep 2014
i'm sorry that i write words
into fickle lines
like my life depends on it
and that i sink ships
harbored in your heart
faster than the lose lips that whispered, "i love you"
i'm sorry that the constellations engraved in my palms
will perpetually lead back to you
and that your calloused fingertips will always feel like home
i'm sorry that feelings are fleeting
and that mine are cemented,
that all i've ever wanted
was benevolence
and that you are immortally running in the rivers of my consciousness.
but mostly,
i'm sorry that i will invariably confess through
spilled ink and teardrops
what i stand for
rather than tell you
what the voices  echo constantly in my hollow skull.
622 · Jul 2016
s(hell)
Addison René Jul 2016
turtles are my favorite animal
because they have a shell
which is mostly convenient
because sometimes earth
can feel more like hell

you are my favorite criminal
because you make me smile
you are guilty
and you are gentle
but it's okay
you seem to make it
all worthwhile  

i am my favorite artist
because i hate everything that i do
and i try to stay inside this shell
but all these words and ideas
keep leading me back to you
620 · Oct 2016
october
Addison René Oct 2016
i wish we were
walking in the rain
on the beach in
october
i wish
we were talking
in the rain
on the beach in
october

i wouldn't care about
my hair
in the rain on the beach
in october
in the rain
on the beach in
october

i wish we were
walking together
in this rainy weather
in october
on the beach in october
in the rain
Addison René Jul 2015
you've got a lot to say
when you sigh
and you don't say anything
like:
you don't know what it's like
and:
you've too young to understand these things
you're being a fog that's settled at dawn
you're fighting the urge to lay down and yawn
you like to sleep
only for the hell of it
i like to sleep
so i can dream
dreams of sighs that say everything,
a glance that radiates what your thoughts sing
a moment where all things feel invincible
where it all comes into place
you don't say anything at all
605 · Dec 2016
with u
Addison René Dec 2016
i work in a coffee shop
and i try to be
pretty and small
pretty and small
pretty and small

my boyfriend
calls me moody
and he's
6 feet tall
6 feet tall
6 feet tall

i like to write
and take naps
and i'm
five foot two
five foot two
five foot two

i like it where i am
but it's better
when i am with you
when i am with you
when i am with you
598 · Aug 2014
"you could love me"
Addison René Aug 2014
"you could love me,"
you say to me
as the whirr of the A/C
slips your whisper into my ears
and it must have been about:
55 degrees in there,
but i swear to god i just,
*melted
whirr is supossed to spelled that way, btw
598 · Jul 2015
earth day
Addison René Jul 2015
it was earth day
we placed our feet into the fresh soil
dipping our toes into foreign content
we were only so old,
only so young
the water felt warm for the time being
the time being short,
the feelings feeling long
long days spent as children acting
like adults
adults with problems
"we aren't similar, you and me"
"you're no different"
you were different
we push
you pull
we separate
we wash our bodies inside the once foreign water
with a feeling of longingness in the spaces between us
it was earth day that day
we said goodbye
582 · Dec 2016
also
Addison René Dec 2016
we watched the wind blow
and the flowers grow
and we were also

we watched the fire glow
made puppets out of their shadows
and we were also

we watched the time slow
and the hours go
and we were also

this world is a beautiful place
this world has a beautiful face
and it is yours
Addison René Aug 2016
it feels good -
now that you've erased me



don't come back
573 · Jun 2016
/\/\/\
Addison René Jun 2016
you are a ship,
that sails beyond my broad horizon
you are my ship,
that sails whien the waters are rising

there are storms being brewed inside of me
and i am waiting on the shore,
i watched you as the monsoon was unleashed
but couldn't help to shake off this feeling
i wanted to see more

you are a ship,
that sails beyond my broad horizon
you are my ship,
that i watched become swallowed by poseidon
571 · May 2017
facebook
Addison René May 2017
first,
lemme just
check my facebook
to see if
anybody else has
"high functioning anxiety"
like me

i'm so sorry
your goldfish died
that's a nice picture
of your stupid wife

time to delete
another racist
let's face it -
you probably live
in your mom's basement

i just like the dog memes
originally, the word "goldfish" was "grandpa" but i am not THAT heartless...i guess
562 · Oct 2014
when i die
Addison René Oct 2014
when i die
bury me with butterflies,
cut my veins open
and fill them with your sedated sighs.
when i die
play bloodbuzz ohio,
and twirl and laugh.
kiss me on the cold cheek,
tell me how much you'll miss me
and my drowsy eyes
my cautious conscience
my satirical stares,
and long nights that didn't seem so long
when i die,
bury me with butterflies,
2 weeks of life is all they need;
and so do i.
558 · Nov 2018
ahem
Addison René Nov 2018
clearing my throat just to scream
doesn't seem like a great idea
but most of my ideas aren't that great
anyway:
i was just thinking about the time
i was just thinking about the time
i was just thinking

about suffocating on oxygen and living forever and eating spaghetti and talking to siri and learning how to ice skate and peeing in the backyard and running around barefoot and camping with strangers and listening to music and trying new things and driving on the highway and jumping from the driving board and playing hide and seek at night and talking to new people and licking the spoon and floating on the top of the world

and floating on top of the world
544 · Jun 2020
the smell of beer
Addison René Jun 2020
it smells like limes,
like salt and not pepper,
and like the ocean and like
everything that i have ever
thought was comforting.
like my father's kisses at
2am because he is going
to work his second job
and it will not be enough.
it smells like fighting. it
doesn't ever smell strong
enough for it to end. And it
never ends. It won't stop anyone
from yawing loudly in public.
It won't stop you from taking
advantage of her. It won't keep
you from being the person you
are. I think sometimes it smells
like the expressions we never
have enough courage to say
but i think that sounds cliche, too.
it smells like limes, it smells like the
illness that haunts the people in their
beds. It smells like limes. It smells like
life.
Addison René Jul 2014
i'm sorry...
believe me when i say i wanted to tell you i was leaving,
it's just that my heavy heart can't take this pain anymore
and that you're ******* understanding
i'm sorry...
believe me when i say i love you
it's just that i can't love you like the way you love me
and you're too wrapped up in your little fantasy life
i'm sorry...
530 · Jul 2014
sometimes
Addison René Jul 2014
sometimes when i'm driving,
sometimes when it's a little past midnight,
i play that song on my radio
and i turn it up loud
in hopes that you'll be able to hear it
and it's not that i do it
to wallow in my self-pity
i do it because it
feels like a blow to my face
everytime i hear the songs spew out of my speakers
and to be honest,
that feels better than nothing
sometimes i leave little things behind,
sometimes i leave little pieces of my heart
in old songs
with old memories
Addison René Aug 2014
your hand on my knee, my smile on my lips, the wind in our hair

2. unspoken "i love you"'s, sacharrine sweet kisses and your eyes on fire

3. your fingertips along my skin, the paintings etched on yours, the breeze from the open window and the crests and valleys of your breaths

4. perfect pauses, unbuckled seatbelts, rooms with the A/C cranked up

5. certain uncertainty, a blissful abbyss;
*this is it
520 · Jul 2015
violent delights
Addison René Jul 2015
there was no intention for this
this is silent screaming,
violent dreaming,
sighs that escape the mess of your mouth
510 · Jun 2016
wrecked
Addison René Jun 2016
i want you to erase my existance;
and paint me into your picture -
i'm grabbing the main ideas
just by the sound of your laughter
only the jokes aren't so funny anymore
but neither is this silence
it speaks with such volume,
and sudden violence
the space between your lips
is now an allusion to
the way a ship sinks,
it's like you can't take your eyes off of it
even though you really want to
what i'm really trying to say is
i just wanna write myself into oblivion
that way
i'm still alive -
even when i'm i'm no longer living
506 · Mar 2016
sixteen
Addison René Mar 2016
I wanted to tell you
that I'm sorry I almost crashed your car
I guess that's just what happens when you're
sixteen and dumb

I wanted to tell you
that I'm sorry I drank all your *****,
and didn't call you back
I guess that's what happens when you're
sixteen and numb

I wanted to tell you
that I'm sorry I can't remember
the words you said to me before you left
I guess that's what happens with you're
sixteen and young
499 · Jul 2016
gone
Addison René Jul 2016
i had a dream
and you were briefly in it
i woke up
and the room was
spinning
i put my glasses
on
and suddenly
the thought of you
was


gone
494 · Apr 2014
november
Addison René Apr 2014
and there's one thing i can't tell:
if it's you
or this winter weather
that's got me feeling so
blue
493 · Jun 2017
somewhere else
Addison René Jun 2017
there is better weather
somewhere else

put the flowers on the shelf

tell me you're sorry
and love no one else

tell me you're sorry
and love no one else

touch my neck
and i start to melt
but you don't ever
tell me how you really felt

you are so much more convincing
when you are just being
yourself
489 · Jul 2017
out there
Addison René Jul 2017
somewhere out there -
i found myself

swimming with sin
with the flowerbeds
with all my friends -
with no one

somewhere out there -
i found myself

between the lines
you speak,
there is little sympathy
and i just
tell myself
i will not let
this life define
me
487 · Nov 2017
dreams about teeth
Addison René Nov 2017
we were at the beach

i had dreams
about my
teeth

they were

on the floor,
and on the sand
with a trail
of blood

and open
hands

i wanted to go
back and tell
you how much
it all meant to me

each tooth
and memory

fell from my mouth


it's going to be hard
now that you're not around
lowkey this is about my fckn dead dog
Addison René Jul 2014
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry


*sorry...
476 · May 2017
pills
Addison René May 2017
today i felt like ****
so i drank a bunch
of antioxidants
i went home to
take a bath for an hour
couldn't stand up
in the shower

i'm dead meat

mascara, bubble gum,
and hallucinogens
i take my birth control
like i take my
vitamins

(i always forget)

i'm trying to be
a good girl this time
i wake up every morning,
and stay alive
i know i'm pretty ******
but at least your mine

i'm broken glass
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