I can't help but think of you and feel hatred.
I am full of love and empathy but for you it's different.
I hate you for what you've done to me.
I hate you for making me hate.

"Do you do engagement ring refunds?"

As I slip deeper into this eternal sadness I must wonder if anyone is actually there for me.
Nobody knows how I truly feel, nobody sees this side of me.
I feel my time getting closer, no light at the end of the tunnel, no escape from my thoughts.
Always here for everyone but nobody there for me when I need it most.
I cant do this any more.

The soundless scream haunts my dreams
the silent pleading invading the night
windless breath on the back of my neck
the voiceless begging for help.

I scream
I cry
I plead
I lose
I pray
I beg
I try
I choose
I write
I sing
I dance
I play
But nothing leads love my way.

You will not keep me down.
You will not prevent me from reaching my goals.
You will not tell me what to do with my body.
You will not tell me who to love.
As Henley wrote, I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.
So listen when I tell you that I am me and I'll do what makes me happy.
I am not irresponsible for pursuing happiness.
So you can just leave me alone.

I hate you
Truly
From the bottom of my heart
Because I loved you
With it all

I hate you
Truly
From the bottom of my heart
So why
Why do I miss you?

I hate you
Truly
From the bottom of my heart
So why can't I
Stop thinking about you?

I hate you
Truly
From the bottom of my heart
So why
Why can't I live without you?

I may not know how others feel.
I may not know why others kneel.
I may not know whom others admire,
But I know how I feel, why I don't kneel and who I admire.

I would pluck the stars from the heavens to please you, pull the moon closer to the earth just to see you smile.

I would cross the wildest of rivers and climb the tallest of mountains if that is what you asked.

My heart is your possession, my soul yours to twist and bend and shape.

I am yours, completely.

I sit here and think
Mind empty
Eyes glazed
Wondering if it'll get better
Hoping
Begging
Dreaming of the day I'm free of pain
Agony
Loneliness
Imagining the day I can be happy again.

My body, soul and mind divided.
Split by an unknown, pestering force.
The constant war waging between the sides for superiority.
The pain and hopelessness battling comfort and joy.
I cannot see a resolution to this endless war.
The only way out is to destroy them all.

Irrational thoughts racing.
Illogically trying to explain something unexplainable.
I can use maths and science all I want but it will never explain why I love you.

Is this it?
Is this goodbye?
A farewell to all those good times
The best times
The times when it was just you and I against the world?
Is this us over?
Have I lost my soulmate
My heart
My desire?

You're here and yet I feel you're already gone
Your mind if not your body with someone else
All that love, hope, desire
His.

I want to know you.
I want to know the person behind the writing.
I want to know the mind that expresses so vividly and beautifully.
I want to know you as more than just your poetry.
I want to know you for you and not the assumptions I can make.
I want to know you as the beautiful soul you are.

That explosive fire
known simply as love by man
lives within us all.

What makes us love?
Can it be reduced just to chemical reactions?
What makes us decide we want to spend the rest of our lives with another person?
Will there ever be an answer?
Does there need to be an answer?

My heart burns with the flames of passion
Lust
Desire
Want
Love.
The butterflies in my stomach when I think of you
When I see you
Hug you
Kiss you
The longing desire whenever we're apart
When im waiting for you
Whenever im not in your arms

The darkness inside of me gone when you're near
My heart at peace at last.

The connection of our minds
The intertwining of our bodies
The marriage of our souls.

The perfect moment in a perfect lifetime
A burst of pure passion
Love incarnate.

Like the sun, your radiance brings me life.
The moon too shy to look upon you.
The sparkle in your eyes envy the stars.
Your smile calms the most ferocious of storms but fans the fires of my heart.

Love is such a fickle thing
Starts and ends in a split second
You'll never know if it will last.

Love is fragile as a newborn child
The slightest blemish equals destruction

True love is rare in a world of lust.

We all play the game each day.
And that's all it is, a game.
Our lives dependant on a dice roll.
Or is it predetermined?
Will we ever know?
Luck or fate?

To my dearest demons,
How have you been?
It's been a while since we've seen each-other
Yet here you are again.

Those weekly sessions of talking and crying to get you to disappear
seems futile now
Those dark feelings, those intrusive thoughts
of pain, of death and destruction,
Here you are again.

The unwelcomed guest, the evil within
how do I vanquish you once and for all?
Why does nothing work?
Why are you back to taunt me once again?

As the title suggests, this isn't a poem.
I just wanted to make a quick post addressed to you all to say thank you.
Thank you for your beautiful words and beautiful poems.

I guess that's it
Him the straw
Me the camels back
I'm broken

You're gone
His now
Or maybe all along
I'm broken

Your heart his
Never truly mine
Always distant
Always in his arms

Strange disappearances explained
With him
In mind
Body
Soul.

Yaknow, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel anymore.

I know that I no longer pine for you like i once did nor hold the seething resentment that used to be so deeply entwined within my very soul at the mere suggestion of your existence.

I know that no matter what I would never want you back, and that I barely think about you anymore.

And yet-

There's still something stopping me moving on, being able to live my life truly apart from you.

Is there still an unfilled maw inside of me from all the pain you put me through?

Why can I simply not trust a man with my body or my soul anymore?

Why can't i just forget you ever burrowed your way into my life?

As I lay living, living in an unending nightmare
Even sleep does not allow me to escape.
No way out. No light at the end of the tunnel. No hope.
"No" racing around my mind and then I see his face. In the darkness I hear the faintest yes.
Hope? Or pandora's box.

The panic sets in.
I can't breath.
I try to keep calm.
I fail.
I scream but no sound escapes my lips.
I beg for it to end.
My chest tightens further.
I'm gasping for air.
Tears rolling down my cheeks.
I can't carry on like this.

This fire inside me burns brightest for you,
the passion kept hidden from human eyes.
Its power greater than any ever seen,
you decide if it's to be set free.

The phoenix spreads its wings and flies away with my heart.
Torn from my chest, chasing desires.
I dream to be under my precious phoenix's wing.
To one day love once more, to rise from the ashes.

I know this isnt a poem but I feel its my duty as a moral person to report that there is fraudster messaging this websites members and asking them to email "Her" at which point she will send you false information about wanting to transfer money from senegal.
I urge you, if you get a message from a member called nicystephani ignore them, they're only trying to defraud you. Their email is stepahnicuma@hotmail.com.

Please spread this message so that they can no longer try and trick people.

Remember, don't fall victim to foreign scams

Pondering my thoughts,
Trying to find the answer.
Endless wondering.

I scream but I make no sound.
Why did you do it? What made you think it was okay?
What made you think that because we were dating you could do whatever you wanted to me?
Why did you not speak to me?
Why did you pretend it never happened? Do you realise what you did to me?
Do you even realise what you did?
Why did you treat me like an object?
Why?
I scream. I wonder if I'll ever be heard.

Lest we forget this Remembrance Day
The sacrifice of those brave men
Their blood spilt on the battlefield
Their lives given to protect us
Their lives extinguished to sand us

Lest we forget our fallen troops
Who lay dying in no mans land
Who's blood gave life to the poppies at Flanders field

Lest we forget our true heroes
Lest we forget our protectors
Lest we forget our guardian angels
All gone to be with God.

His incandescent lips draw me in,
unable to pull myself away.
My brain says no, my heart says yes.
After waiting so long for this moment, anticipating and dreading it,
I pull away
I cant do this
One kiss would never be enough, I'd always want more.
My heart cries for this but I have to resist
I have to stop.
I can't.
Pure magnetism.
Charm
Grace
Lust.

So darling, darling,
Stand by me, oh stand by me
Won't you stand by me?

I rise from the ground on a rare day of peace.
I sigh as I see the world around me.
Destruction at every path.
I see what this world has become and sink back down into my grave.
I sink below where peace is maintained.

Oh how I long for the rose tinted glasses, the atrocities I've seen.
Men killing each other over money,
Children being slaughtered for their religion.
Widows starving on the streets.

Oh how I long to see some good in this world, how I wish to blind of the constant evil around me. How I wish to be at peace.

Scarred heart and scarred feet.
Walking through the burning coals of love and failing to exit them caused both.
Have the lessons been learnt?
Time will tell.

You are the light that yonder window breaks.
Like Yorick I knew you well.
You are the Demetrius to my Helena.
The Romeo to my Rosaline.
My unrequited love.

Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and never wake.
Too often, my mind will break.
Internal suffering nobody else will see,
bouts of sadness, moments of glee.
The highs and lows in quick succession,
is this more than just depression?
Is there more the quacks didn't find?
I just want to know what's wrong with my mind.
Can I be helped? Will I be helped?
Will time tell?

I wish to stare into the abyss and never break sight.
To join it in eternal embrace.
To jump in and feel my soul drift away.
I wish to become one with the darkness.

The devil howls at the winter moon
Screams with ecstasy at the hunt
His shrill cry piercing those around
His hoofs shake the ground.

The devil sees all around him
Profiles all upon the earth
His gaze hypnotises everyone
Will never retire until his evil work is done.

Talk to me of love,
I beg you to!
Tell me how you love me and always have.
Tell me of your passion and of your desire, tell me of the flame inside your heart.

Does Eros smile down on us when he see's our interaction?
Does Cupid notch an arrow when he see's we're in pain?
And Venus, does she boast when a couple marry?
Are there Gods looking down on us controlling our love?

As I enter the gates of hell that lead to my mind I see visions of angels and demons.
They both beckon me, begging me to join them.
I choose one, my mind chooses another.
I choose one route but am directed the other way.
The neverending war in my head.