a smile
a kiss
a promisse
and few thing you say:
three words wrapped in smile
seems i'll be happy today

I am so happy now that you have left me.

you promissed me the eternity together,
so i would never be alone ,
and i believed into your words,
therefore you can not be gone.

we were stayng late nights crying,
you never let go of my hand,
and i believed into your magic,
therefore you can not be dead.

i refuse to believe in this, and,
last night we were laying on bed ,kissing,
we ran away from home many times,
therefore for me you are just missing.

I am wide awake,
i do not wish to sleep,
i am here to think about him,
our love i will keep.

i'll give you my  bones,
and help you make the house.

i'll give you my mind,
so you can decorate it as a room and sleep.

i'll give you my skin
to make cradle for the children inside you.

i'll give you my hair,
to make blankets to keep yourself warm.

i'll give you my bodyparts,
to make the furniture in your new house.

i'll give you my lips,
to lull your nightmares to sleep.

i'll give you my eyes,
so you can make the clouds in your house,
that will cry when ever you are sad.

she tells me that i lack a little something
to be her perfect man.
it's such a pretty way to tell me that i
will never be him.

i took my scars and carved into her heart,
now she is ill from the same type of desease,
so selfish of a man who said he would protect her.

i took my loneliness and inserted it into her youth,
now we can compare our miseries when we are alone .
so pathetic of a man who should comfort her.

i took my pain and inserted it into her treasured innocence,
now, i wait for her reaction when she finds out im not a man she tought i'll be
i hope she will run away and avoid being trapped with a man like me..

i've spilled all of her 17 years
on my sheets,
her skin was like a dough,
i could mold her the way i wanted,
but i told her to go.

today i watched her play with her hair
i watched her cute little fingers while
she raveled it, she made braids, a ponnytail
i was charmed , i was lost in the time.

.....completey taken by that innocent smile

she stood in a hallway
arguing with me
she said yes i said no
she asked me if she
should stay
i told her to go
her soft palms were shaking
i didn't dare to break
but still
if she'd let a tear
it woud be all that it takes.
i didn't tell her my feelings
because she would have strayed
i knew this wasn't place for her
and i couldn't stay in her way.
it was a monday,it was cloudy
i tried to look away
it's so hard to remember
(it was middle of a may)
i wanted her to think of me
i couldn't dare to say...
i tried to look aside
but i still remember the dress
she wore that day.

it's been a while since we played
you left long time ago,
do you remember what you said
when we played in the snow?

it's been a while since we talked,
i couldn't bring my self to come ,
but today i decided to take a walk,
i hope the place where you are is fun ..

i've been beating my self until today,
i've lost my pride and grace,
i came again to cry on your grave,
i miss your laughing face.

I have never been a human in my life.
That is because from the day i was born
i decided to be a bird.
And that is how i became what humans
call a "poet".

I wish i could put you in a train tonight,
the one that goes far away and departs my heart.

i will make a potion,
and put it in your drink,
you will loose your motion,
you will stop to think!

i will take you home,
and put you on my shelf,
i have to do it all alone,
cuz santas elfs won't help!

i tried to talk to you
but you didn't want me there
now i have to nacrotize you
to get you to care!

i asked santa for you
but he didn't seem to care
i wass good all year too,
but that got me nowhere!

now i'll put you to sleep,
in a blink of an eye,
you'll be mine to keep,
for the end of the time!

so let's celebrate tonight,
for the best year yet to be,
as you sleep in decorative lights,
marry christmas to me!

i'll let her be the muse,
i'll let her tongue explore,
who am i to refuse
a girl whom i adore?

i'll tell her she's my weakness,
i'll let my sweet talk run,
she likes my body, more or less,
shes's just having fun

some times when i lie in my bed i think of various books i have read.

I think of all those charascters so beautifly shaped, about the heroes and their bravery, how might and heroic they are,i remember my dad sitting and leading me trough enchanted worlds of fairytails,i imagined kingdome made of pure white marble and thir princesses in those heavy dresses,i imagined villans baithed in evil,standing in the darkness, and died cowardly.
I had the most wonderful world in my head, i was fearless, i was a knight of my own kingdome,i was a good guy,the one who brings justice the one that slashes evil dragons and saves the beautiful lady,the one the crowd likes.
And along the way everything got blurred,the princesses were drag queens,the kindome didn't exist ,and i dont know what went wrong,i don't know if i am a hero anymore,or a bad guy,i grew up thinking that justice beat evil,always...actually i have imagined the world differently...
                                   but this definietly wasn't the ending i imagined.

When you are here :
the world stops spinning
gravitatins is out of system
Ainsteins seems stupid
equasions are boring
nobody seems to listen.

when you are here:
you shrink universe
you create different kind of space
you change laws of physics
you put Newton to discrase

when you are here:
my heart goes crazy
big bang starts to occur
amplitude of my pulse seems to change
feels like dying,but this kind of love i prefer.

You left me.
why can't i leave you?

father you went to war you left our home
there are a few thing you said to me
before walking away and leaving us all alone
you said "son, the world must be saved,you see"

you've put your heavy hand on my head
i didn't dare to move or shred a tear,
i clenched my hand hard until it was ****** red,
the colour of missery and fear.

the blood was spilt on the ground
the thirsty land absorbed it all away
the bullet sounds in my head were so loud
were these days for you also gray?

Molly doesn't remember you,
she only remembers the dirt
( from war)
tell me father did you save the earth
as you said you needed to?

her skin
oh my
like a porculan doll

her eyes
oh my
green as emeralds soul

her lips
my,oh my,
such a dangerous things they say

she whispers words
my oh my
of which a strongest heart would stray.

When we were little ,
i hid, you seeked.
You could  find me...
     without a peek.

Now you look,
but cannot find,
you grew up,
and turned blind.

At first there was her and me,
A  princess fell into a love trap,
why i couldnt turn away,
i should have shown my back.

At first i knew it would be easy,
to sweep her of her feet,
but i ,as well fell into charming trap,
princess and a thief.

She weeped when she had to go,
my heart was torn appart,
i've never known a mere thief,
could have such maidens heart.

I've never seen her after that,
theres nothing more to say,
a lovely princess should never love
such pitfull man.

She took off everything,
until only innocence was left.
Her world became bigger with
a slice of pain,a gift from myself.

Her skin was white as snow,
Her lips were red as wine,
I saw the halo around her head,
A creature once divine.

She took the shelter from the pain,
Under my broken skin as we kissed,
We kept ourselves warm with our breaths,
As she drank the poison from my lips.

Her angels weeped,i could hear them,
A sad song from the bottom of their soul,
For the part of her that was missing,
The part of heaven that made her whole.

?

Will i be properly loved?
like i wish i would?
Would i be able to properly love,
like a maiden should?

you left me with
few cuts and bruises
i do not blame you.
in fact,it is all
self inflicted.
it makes me happy
it makes all the pretty
pictures of your laughter
flicker in my head.
i'm giving a part
of my flesh
to see you smile,
seems like a
really good deal.

I go in cicles but never get closer,
alway behind you watcing your back,
and if someday this ride stops,
it will keep on spinning in my head.

i see perfect skin,perfect lips, perfect teeth, perfect tan,perfect smile, unusual yet perfect colour in your eyes, but i can't find any inperfection to fall in love with..

i layed in my room on my bed,
i only wished to die in my sleep
fallen appart,i was nearly dead
cause of a promisse i didn't keep.

i couldn't eat i couldn't talk,
i was hunted by my past,
barely having stenght to walk,
i've put my all to the test.

i couldn't smile with pain in my chests,
then came fears, i became paranoid,
followed by the darkest fleshbacks,
until the gap in heart became a void.

i fell as low as person can fall,
there was only up i could go,
missed the death, had to crawl,
decided never to let myself fall so low.

it's been a year i'm alright,
i still recover,my heart needs some rest,
i know my strenght and learning to fight,
a crule deamon called ''my past''.

you pretend a little
to be me
i pretend a little
to be you
we both play these roles
until we are hurt
so deeply hurt
that we can't
detect who is who

I heard my bestest buddy
has run away from zoo
i felt really desperate
so i sniffed some glue.
So i became an addict
my buddy didn't come
well i dont care about the monkey
i am having fun

i'll cuddle you longer,
i'll answer you faster,
i'll hold your hand,
i won't pester.

i'll speak softer,
i'll laugh sweeter,
i'll make candy for dinner,
i'll cover you in glitter.

i'll tell you more stories,
and hug you tighter,
i'll scare all of the monsters ,
for you i'm a fighter.

i'll break all the things,
that make you sad,
let's play hide and seek,
get up already from that bed.

I have been silent for too long
i have forgotten the language you speak,
i have been left in the dark for too long,
no monster could scare me, you made me become their king.

My cat is sleeping on my lap,
i pet it's tender beige fur.
It's peacefully taking a nap,
while it gently purrs.

there are few things i don't know where she learned
like :  "don't cut your whrists,i'll leave scars,
make it somewhere where no one can see."
about her knowing those things should i be concearned?
i have never known she was like me...

I picture my funeral,
people dressed in black,
which cut loose the rope,
tightening my neck.

I have questions i can't answear
while i am still alive,
like would she shread a tear
if i really die?

i have things that hunt me
while i sleep,
i have one enourmus problem,
my life is hard to keep.

tonight i'll picture my funeral,
and people dressed in black,
as i tighten the rope,
and put it around my neck.

Millions of thiny,shiny
lights illuminate this town.
the air smells of snow.
Preparations for christmas
are seen in windows.
My heart feels very cold.
I am walking in this windy
town far away from home.
with hands  in my pockets
in a place where i am
          alone.

i can no longer find
                   where do i end
                            and where do you start.
                                  i can no longer separate my thoughts from yours

                                             **when did you take over me?

if you were a colour
then you would be blue
like a simple weding charm,
that i gave to you.

if you were a colour,
then you would be blue,
like a warm summer rain,
that falls on your curves.

if you were a colour ,
then you would be blue,
like an ocean calming wawes,
that sing me a blues.

if you were a colour ,
you could only be blue,
like a sadness in my lonely heart
when i think of you.

if you were a colour
you would be deep blue,
like the marble on your wedding dress,
when you said "i do".

if you were a colour
you'd be blue,
the colour of my heart
the colour of my solitude.

and you come to me running
you dance in your messy dress
with your cheeks all flushed
with your boots for walking on air
and you leave me with a shimmeting dawn
gleaming with the stars that revolve around you

You make an intelligent fool out of me.