I stood there, posed at a photo shoot
The sun was shining in my eyes
not knowing why all eyes were on me
The photographer caught me by surprise

"Your tears are beautiful," he said
I quickly patted them away
The sun made my eyes fill with tears
I'll never forget that summer day

It was my first time being the sole focus
And having my hair and makeup done
There was pride and accomplishment
In knowing what I had become

But in those days my deep brown eyes
Could not deny the camera the pain
So naive and young I felt that I just
had to force the dimpled smile and feign

For the people who would see those images
The pictures are a stark reminder of a lost place
But a picture really does speak a thousand words
If I only knew what they could see written on my face

But better times were ahead
I let go of some baggage first thing
The modeling career didn't last but a year
And I met the man who would make my heart sing.

You didn't have the capacity
to be the father I needed you to
You didn't have the eyes to see
How my heart bled for you

Doesn't blood run thicker than water?
Why did you up and run away?
Did you know how you hurt your daughter?
It's probably best you didn't stay

The liquor was more of a priority
as it always has been and still is,
than you taking time out for me
I guess the best we'll ever have is this.

With you, I want to dance in the dark
Rekindle that special spark
Remember when we first met
Watch a breathtaking sunset

With you, I want you to know my love
To tell you what I dream of
To let you know what you mean to me
And then let you love me eagerly

With you, I wanna watch the stars
Down here, from afar
Watch the clear night sky
In your arms I feel I could fly

With you, anywhere is home
Whether right here or in Rome
But I just need you to know
I'll follow you wherever you go

The years first snowfall
An outcry in October
Tears on painted leaves

10-20-2018

I love you and unlike Shakespeare
I cannot count the ways....
Being in your arms, it's like heaven
with the passing of the days

Cherished are these moments
spent lying next to you
Without you by my side
I don't know what I'd do

Because no one can compare
to the sweetness of your soul
And no one could ever fill
that void and make me whole

How much of you can I forget?
Can I erase you from memory?
The heart isn't as easily tamed
In there you will forever be

Rainy days, they are the worst
Gloomy skies, disheartened sighs
I know the trees, they have a thirst
And to summers end we'll say goodbye

Thunder in a lightning storm
There are no birds melodies today
Outside it is too **** warm
A sign of our societies decay

Didn't mean to break your heart
Didn't mean to make you cry
Wasn't prepared for the look on your face
When you turned to me and asked "why?"

Sometimes things aren't meant to be
And I wasn't trying to be cruel
Seems like we were more friendly
I wasn't taking you for a fool

My greatest love of all is
right here sitting next to me
I feel like I owe him everything
Without him I don't know where I'd be

My love for him is like trying
to capture the ocean's tide
I feel full to bursting when I think
of him-only in him can I confide

And no matter what I tell him
He won't judge me in any way
True to his loving nature
I can count on him to stay

People said our love wouldn't
ever stand the test of time
Well, it has, and through my struggles,
he still makes my life sublime.

Thank you for reminding me of my beauty
Thank you for doing what you do to me
Thank you for being there at just the right time
Thank you for setting my soul free!

I wanted to write this poem
Not that it had to be done
But rather that I appreciate you
And to let you know that I have fun

A memory suppressed by thirty years
A face stained with biting tears
A life so full of irrational fears
I need you by my side

Like a pinata, I was a toy
Only to be broken, not to show joy
As quiet as a mouse, I was coy
I need you by my side

This all happened in my youth
As no one around me knew my truth
Like a fox "they" thought they were smooth
I need you by my side

They say I have a heart of gold
Despite the story I've never told
Forget all the drama that would unfold
I now can stand alone.

The autumn winds roar like
my inner goddess does for you.
Although the leaves change, love,
I promise that I never do!


C.S.

My heart adores you
And it only beats true
You give me shivers everywhere;
One look and I'm mute
Your piercing eyes so cute
Your glance says "don't you dare"

Her ******* heave with desire
Though it is a forbidden fire
Lest these eyes forget;
She takes a whiff of his cologne
And throws herself into the unknown
Their lust is strong, you can bet

She's been hurt before, you know
And she's lost some of her glow
But you can bet she'll get it back
She never lost her touch
Though it wasn't missed much
You fulfill everything that I lack

A vacation paradise would be great
Of course you must come with me too
But my idea of paradise is
right here, right now, with you!

The music playing in the background
gives way to sweet romantic kiss
I never thought in a million years
That I'd end up with a love like this

Fireworks explode in the night
As I whisper to him, "Paradise is here"
"It's anywhere you are," I say
And it all becomes so clear

Whether we travel or not really
does not change how I feel
I just need to be in your arms
to know that this is real

promises and hearts
frail and fragile they are just
made to be broken


cs

In a field of wildflowers
I feel touched by God
As if heaven descended
upon this forgotten earth

The sky is a perfect blue
Well, you know the kind
This place untarnished
Awarded to no person

Time crawls by here
As I take in the aroma
And the bounty of color
I leave them, wild and free

like the oceans tide
vast cerulean blue
my love goes on forever

c.s.

Today I wear a facade
so you can't see my pain,
you won't know my loneliness
but my tears will still fall like rain


CS

Lake Michigan looks like an ocean
Mad autumn waves crash on the shore
You get so close to God, in this sacred place
Especially in the warm months, you want more

Young love is best savored here
Pure innocence found walking on the pier
Behind the lighthouse is best to steal a kiss
Happiest place ever with the one you love near

The sand on the beach is perfect
It's the only heaven on earth I know
Perfect for lovers to walk hand in hand
If you saw it, you'd want to go

As sun sets, purple and red hues
light up the heavens above
And birds overhead fly by
As people below fall in love

The stars are out tonight
I wonder if you see them too
They hang in darkened sky
I could reach and get one for you

I recall our sweet rendezvous
When love was so blind
Passions erupted under moonlight
With our bodies entwined

My flesh against yours
Adrenaline pumping like crazy
Your lips foreign but intoxicating
This pleasure was so new to me

Meetings would take place here and there
Mostly in places so exciting and new
Those times I'd wait for you were torture
I'd like to think it was torture for you too

In my sacred place I spy you
How dare you flaunt like you do?
I watch you grow from seeds I've sown
Your curves superior to my own

Your *** is plain to see
Drawing the humble honeybee
in with your succulence
watching as you dance,

freely with the wind and rain
I stand by like a hideous bane
Jealous of something I'll never be
Fertile, purple, strong and free

Dare I pluck you here and now?
Keep your splendors to me somehow?
Put you in a vase and imprison thee
Flaunt your beauty only to me

Please embrace me tighter
as we kiss madly and deeply
Lets allow the jealous moon to watch
while I give you the best of me

CS

Cool autumn breezes blow
Soon cascades of colors will be upon us
Once blooming fields are now faded
Winters kiss we'll soon know

Your mocha skin against mine
such a contrast if there ever were
love songs on the radio heats up the
room and passion begins to stir

Visions of time long past, blended
with feelings of loving you more each day
It's a mix of desire I so much enjoy
And far away from everyone, we play

Wrapped up in bed sheets, but not for long
You transport me to a place that's timeless
You know the combination to my body
And I am lost in you, I confess

When the steam dissipates, I see you
with a wild grin upon your face
You know what I'm thinking
That no one could ever take your place

I savor our moments
And long for your touch
It's me you enrapture
I need you so much!

Can't tell you just how
I quiver when you're near
Just need to hold you
And have you with me here

I know I'm missing a
descriptive metaphor or noun
But you just read the words of
this poem where my love can be found.

hearts entwined
in passion
and chemistry
the verbs
just on relay
but my heart
skips a beat
every time I
think of you

A smile that matches my own
The look in my loves eyes
it is enchanting to say the least
this comes as no surprise

A heart unbridled with passion
The knowing that we belong
Being held in his arms
Listening to our song

A gentle touch between lovers
that brings his dimples out, you know
the beautiful smile that touches my soul
The one that brings me up when I feel low

A hand to hold when times are hard
Someone to listen and wipe away my tears
The person that lights my fire
The one that takes away all my fears

Your love convinces me that there is good in the world
All the ugly, painful stuff fades away,
Your love convinces me that God is real
And I can face what comes each day.

I don't understand how I got so lucky,
They always say true love is hard to find.
It's an honor to spend my life with you
I never thought I'd find a guy so cute, so kind.

You are one in a million. That makes me feel special.
There are not enough hours in the day to love you!
You deserve everything that I can give
There's no denying that our love is true!

The past is the past
I just want to grow
The present is a gift
I want to take it and know

That I've lived fully and that
I've loved with all my heart
I think in the end that's what matters
Is the love you gave from the start

For years I felt stuck
In my pains and sorrows
I'm not a victim, never was
I look forward to my tomorrows

I've come to terms with some
things that have happened to me
I am a very persistant person, so
I will live happy, unburdened and free!

I was lying in the fetal,
begging to be a memory-
But you saw worth
You saw potential in me

Thank you for being part
of my life, my story
You gave me hope in a void
In my darkest hour you were there for me

I remember a time when
life had no color scheme.
Drained from all it's worth,
It was becoming a regular theme

Now I see brightly lit skies!
My senses are tickled and more
You've rescued me from the abyss
And I will be thankful evermore!

You looked in my soul and saw
who I really was and could be,
So much potential and love to give
You were the one with eyes to see

-that there was strength in my soul
you took what was broken and made it whole
my love amplifies because of you everyday
the beginning of my life didn't take it's toll

-that there was pain in my soul
and you carefully mended and cared
it's been so long since I've been hurt
it's because of you that I've been spared

God sent me an Angel and it is you
After all these years you still hypnotize
I'm so happy to wake up next to you each morn'
And you still look at me with love in your eyes

There is a concert outside-muted and mellow
The leaves circling around-red and yellow
Flowing through the wind, dancing and bright
Neighbors decorating, Oh what a sight!

Soon we'll hear all the children and their laughter
But we know it's the treats and candy they're after
Don't forget about the princesses and vampires too
A very big Happy Halloween from me to you!

She melted like a scoop of ice cream
soft in his capable strong arms
thoughts danced in her head like a dream
while he grazed his hand against her *****

Faster and faster went her bated breath
as her heart almost leapt out of her chest
he came and gave her a little death
simply by giving her loves stolen kiss

Though my path is not always clear
sometimes it takes a hard look in the mirror
I need to know where I've been
to know where I'm going and then
It's up to me to overcome all the strife
That I've been through in my life
and never lose sight of my dreams
For my kids and my family--we're a team
I grew up without hope and so much more
I'm glad my kids can be happy. They are adored!
For them to grow up free of fear
Is something I hold especially dear
I wonder how I avoided the pitfalls of this earth
But as I grew older, people saw me and found worth
Now I am free to live and love as I please
The times of enduring and persisting have ceased

Sometimes I can't find the rhyme
Feels like I'm running out of time
Trying to find the source of my anxiety
Wondering what the hell is wrong with me

Feeling like I'm drowning alone in a lake
No one to help me but me for my sake
I like to write of love and though true
It's hard to do when you're down and blue

I'm scared to death, I don't know why
Just holding my breath, I can't even cry
Scarier than any horror flick you've seen
That is what panic disorder for me has been

In your arms I know everything
is as the way it should be
When times are uncertain,
your strength consoles me

In your arms I find love
The kind that doesn't run away
In you I have found faithfulness
What I can count on from day to day

In your arms I find forgiveness
instead of judgement or fear
From you I get what I need
For that I love you so much, dear

In your arms I've found my soulmate
The man I crave night and day
I'll forever be yours 'till the end of time
And when that is, who's to say?

Day in and day out I pretend
that when you left it was the end
of hurt feelings and your lies
Wipe the pain from my eyes

You never were my Daddy
You didn't even try to be
No matter how old I get
Your words and deeds I can't forget

There were always things that were
more important, like drinking, for sure
So I thought the pain of you wouldn't last
When you moved away and became my past

Though my future is full of positivity
I can't help but ask what is wrong with me
Everything that Dad said is so wrong
My love, my life, proves that I am strong.

The wind is angry today
Whipping violently at the trees
Howling and whistling too
A warning of what is to come

Branches and twigs snap under her speed
Animals will need to snuggle in tonight
Sure to send a shiver down your spine
As the gale knocks on your bedroom window

The whirlwind tries to ****** every last leaf
The remaining ones dance on tree limbs
celebrating victory over might gusts
Mother nature laughs as her children play

Poetry is a part of my heart
I dare say a part of my being
Without the release of emotion
there is nothing else so freeing

It's not just words arranged
No, its more than that I say
It's emotion and experience together
In a mesmerizing mental display

I've always written so personally
about my life and details, that's true
but I think that for me, poetry is
a culmination of feelings I can't undo

Words are born on a blank page
and my pen dances to the song of my soul
Unleashed and exposed, each word
forming stanzas until I feel whole

Leaves drained of their vibrant green
Snow gently falling on the ground,
Deer sneaking around in the meadow
All without making a sound.

Winter is here with slick icy roads
With COVID and others to boot
Thanksgiving is around the corner
And then we get our Christmas loot

Family is the name of the game
Friends are welcome too
Friends are family we pick
Bonds stuck together like glue

Joy beams from my heart
I love this time of year!!
For the birth of our Savior
My family, my friends and my dear

I acquiesced to your prowess
There was not much I could do
Gave myself to you before the sun rise
All I can do is think of you

Knowledgeable fingertips traverse your body
Every muscle memorized carefully
As if playing a fine instrument
tuned and made just for me

We made beautiful music together
Sounds as old as time
Can't wait for the next symphony
You make sleepless nights divine!

We may not be perfect
But I'm so glad I have you
You are everything I need
With a love that is so true

We have life's ups and downs
But I recently realized
how much more I fall each day
because I see it in your eyes

You are my soulmate, my rock
everything that I admire
And for the rest of our lives
I'll be everything you desire

I feel that with our love
and passion it would seem
that with you I've found
the one to live the dream

Your breath against my skin
The events about to transpire
It just got really hot in here
'cause I came too close to your fire

Desperate for your affections
And your midnight desires
Just sitting here close to you
My wanton body perspires

Our bodies fit like a mold
Made only for us two
Lovers that can share this
Are reserved only for a few

Love on cloudy moonless nights
Just when everything feels right
It returns to me just as things go dim
My dimples just shadows as I think of him

I get that tingling sensation
All over, now spreads to elation
I wonder what I should do next?
Send him a sizzling hot blooded text?

That will get his attention
No need to sit and wait
I should just get ready
For what I anticipate

Promises and hearts
Frail and fragile they are just
Made to be broken

Honey, you make me feel alive
like all my dreams came true
as if I'm completely electrified
my body screams for you

When I get to thinking
What we are capable of
I get all hot and sweaty
and search for my love

Honey, now I know I'm alive
I'm aware I rush to satisfy
I would slow down but
dear I think I might die!