If you could just recognize
That I still exist,
Then I could make it through the day
I little less of a mess.
I won't let you destroy me
With perpetual distance
I'm a magician, in me
There's hidden genius.
It saddens me to believe
That the most beautiful thing
To come of our meeting
Are the words I sing.
Fallen from heaven
Still my dream remains.
To step upon my alter,
Forever The Fool
With you beside me, a Queen.

If I could list off your flaws
I'd put my name at the top.
Not your acne, that doesn't bother me.
Not your shaggy hair, three days *****.

If I could pile up your shortcomings
I'd seat myself upon a throne.
Not your blissfully ignorant youth.
Not your wistfully exaggerated woes.

If I could collect all the darkness
I've ever witnessed in your acts
I'd keep it closest to my heart
Where my shadow holds onto addiction.

Despite our differences, my sweet sinner
That which makes you ugly, makes you human,
And if I am to ever love your ruin.
I'll learn to love my hate for blisters.

Everytime I close my eyes
I look to find the fire in the sky.
The light that burned your
Image to my mind forever more
I can still feel your lips on mine.
If I could go back in time,
And hold that moment with you
I'd stay in that World, and call it
The kingdom of heaven.
Can you remember what it was like?
When you touched my hand and
Walked into my arms, and
We kissed. Then we kissed again,
And I have never been that happy since.
My only wish is to remake that moment with you
Every single day, for
As long as I remain here,
Tied to this plane where
Time steals away my
Hopes for infinity.

I named myself after the sweet moment
I saw you fall in love with innocence.
I became something more of a poet
In hopes that you'd notice my attempts at
Intimacy.
I've devoted my title to the memory
Of you and me and the green water
Spring, bringing new life into being;
A gift unto me.
You wrought my art with a silver lining
Brought forth by my slurred wording
I was never worth dirt until the the day that
You refined me.
Tonight, though, Lilith has eclipsed our
Perceptions are limited by shadows I
Sense the time of reckoning upon us, though,
Thou shalt not change.
My goddess visited you in a nightmare
Still, I crave the taste of your blood
Fair warning, that with you harm my come,
So life's not fair.
It is time to bear witness to the
Grander scheme of things, that
Not everything you've always wanted
Is always meant to be.

I'm just gonna bury myself in a black fog tonight cause your light escaped me and liquor sounds lovely since you obviously don't give a **** about me anyway.

I'm feeling melancholy for the first time,
Like, I'm glad to be riding on a
Bike, but these hills feel more like
Spikes and it kills me that you
Don't want more to this.

I'm chilling way out on a beach but
Water's polluted with plastic I
Offer to pick up the tragic
Scene yet it belittles me to be receiving
These signals of false implications

What could I have done differently?
Along the way I skipped over
Wrong words, my tongues forked
I'd like to feed you this apple
Baby this evening could be magical but...
You can't forgive my feelings from before.

So tonight as I lie alone
While you snore next to me your
Childish demeanor is insulting
Yet here I am, still by your side
Waiting for you to realize
Who I am.

I want to write you something.
It's a feeling unlike anything
Elsewhere, that I've been looking.
Inspiration strikes me, only
Once I'm filled with longing to
Douse myself under your beautiful
Aura of rainbows cascading from
Your Crown, radiating from your brow
Your hips whisper while they sway around,
My desires are kept locked away
And yet, your lips hold the key.
Next time you see me,
Kiss my mouth like you mean it;
Free us both from loves chains.

If apologies could reverse the spindle
Unraveling the whole sweater until
We're shepherd's again, I'd take the time to
Appreciate within, the fine line between
Consent and Guilt.

If apologies could take us back to that
First time we made eye contact
I'd be ready to fight my own arrogance
To dispel the venomous traits
Before they seek to own your
Elegance

If apologies could make whole again
What was never meant to be broken
I'd never learn my ******* lesson
Since stone erodes slowly in the wind
Cause at our core, we're all just grains of sand,
And "sorry" is more than just a word, it's
My only hope to make amends.

She asked me, if we could still be
Friends
As if we ever really
were in the first place.
In this case, I forgot my heart on the night stand, and I
dropped the price I charge for a one night
Standing ovation going out to the
Fools chasing pyrite, it's alright cause,
In the lime light tequila takes your clothes off, and
though the night life soaks your soul, the salty rim leaves you thirsty for more.
There's no cure, for Levee, see
the ocean is where I'll always be, and
no matter how shallow it seems, depth will be the death of me... and our friendship.

You just want him because he doesn't want you.
What's the real difference between the two,
besides the fact that I tried and he doesn't want to.
On paper we put the same weight on the table, but
in your eyes his coating shines brighter than mine. It's like
a triangle who's legs can't connect, like a
parallel universe where lines intersect, but they
Never touch.
We can't get that intimate, you see,
we all know pain from the past, and the
lasting effect that vibrations leave when your
feelings grow too fast, and it
crashes and burns.
Back to dust, now I recognize what must have always been,
but another illusion woven on loves whim.

Feel like I'm back to square one
Having a hard time with the lesson
Wrapped up in on myself like
Leaves lick the wind like
Trees ring within, despite
Drought, despite rain
It's like nothing ever really changes
Yet, things will never be the same....

There's a pit in my stomach
Standing, idly by, see,
You punched me in my time
Slots spinning in my mind
Stuck, relying on the grind, but
**** your "authority". I
Find it kinda ironic how,
Businesses are built from the ground
but, Up at the peak peeking down,
Sits vultures, who's ***** seeping out
Slick sick liquid so stout,
Poisoned souls, lost in a shroud
Searching for a way out of the cloud
but, it sounds too profound
to ****** the crown from your brow.
It's here, that I've found that
To sow seed, requires a plow
And, to sell ****, requires a down
Payment, is owed to the old
Heads stone cold, as the bread
Hardens our hearts, to the souls
Auctioning off it's moral code
Sold to the highest bidder
Gold fingers are bitter when
Biting your nails is for dinner.
Capitalist sympathizers call me a quitter,
And Jehovahs witnesses all call me a sinner,
But my brothers and sisters consider
Smokin' some refer, the smell that still lingers
Open your pockets, I hear your silver still jingles
I see your water is filtered,
So let the minerals flow
To my bowl, pay the toll
To get the grow that you'll roll, cause
Money solves our problems when
Our problems are each other, and
There is no end in sight, so spite the
"Honor" and the blood we've spilled,
We fight to keep the flag up high
Beside our minds, to cope with all
The hopelessness of our demise
In Jesus name, I shed this tear.

Those three words...
Slipping from your lips,
Seeping under my skin, I'm keeping quiet
Now, feeling like you ******* took something from me...
See, the surface is cool,
but deeper down the water's cold.
Sea, you sold your soul to a shallow attitude, while
I'm left shivering in a half empty home.
Drowning without your fire.
Despite the flash of passion we shared,
Ashes anointing our pair, you lit up my world...
Then just as fast as the flare,
You were gone.
I did so much wrong...
But tribulation makes me strong.
And so, I arose to the occasion.
I chose to walk among stars,
And I'll be around to take care of you
when you call, to prove to you,
All of my words are true.
Only now, we both have to accept, existing in different dimensions
of these
three words...
no matter how much it hurts.

You and me
Is all I know, now,
Everything else blurring
Happening in the background.

In my dream
Angel who's come down
Facing hell's fury
Bearing pain, now earthbound.

Come unto me
Remove your nightgown
Embrace loves beauty
Shimmering beads upon your brow.

You and me
Is all I know, now,
A true Lovers story
Happening in the background.

I'll take the higher ground today,
to prove to you that I believe in love.
Even if that means
walking the path without you.

Like a butterfly fluttering into my life,
Your presence as fleeting as my time
On earth, you rest for but a moment,
While I attempt to move a bit closer.
Attracted like a moth to the moon light.
Your colors are so beautiful I just might,
Learn to fly myself, so that I may follow.
It's been many years since I've left my hollow.
Yet, fear of the world will not falter
My new found love, step upon the alter
So that I may see the source of your color
Patterns in your eyes, so vast I shudder
At the prospect of knowing You... and then you continue to flutter, for I stepped too close.

Here we go again,
Another day, another dollar bill to spend,
Still dividing my time, by seven twenty five
Plus tips up the bid,
School will "take care" of your kids,
Don't think about missing out on them,
Cause in the end we all gotta eat...

It's not as easy as it's made out to be,
This, so called "American dream".
It's been a scheme since the banks became a thing,
And it seems to me that,
Winning isn't really even an option....

Cops shootin' down innocents,
Ignorant people blaming the immigrants, Violence is imminent in the face of division.
And we are all victims.

Girls just wanna have fun,
And I'm always down for a good time.
Play and laughter under the sun,
Yet, Innocence gets tangled in loves twine.
So I look for a way, but learn,
Feelings can fool an infatuated mind.
Can emotions ever be controlled?
Or am I doomed to leave my heart on the line?

I'm ******* hurting
The pains here to stay
Only momentary lapses
In between memories.

So I set **** blazing
Smoke myself into a haze
Swallow brews 'till I'm dazed
I know my days are numbered.

Feeling crazed and starved of affection, as of late.
Seeking desperately for connection, my soul mate.
Trying my hardest ever, hoping, to cheat fate.
Yet, doubt looms in vacant spaces, and I always take the bait...

Will she ever understand?
The way that I feel remains unchanged, despite the years.
Despite the tears you've never been there to see.
Despite the fears in me that it wasn't meant to be.
Will she ever understand?
I've wanted nothing more than to kiss your lips again.
Again, to be by your side, to see your lovely face.
Again, to hold you tight, to feel a lovers embrace.
Will she ever understand?
I've always been willing to lay it all down for her.
Willing to go the distance to be worthy of your hand.
Willing to be there the instance your call demands.
Will she never understand?
That I still love her...

You're too light hearted when I'm trying to be serious.
You're too distant when I'm feeling delirious.
You're always cracking jokes, while I'm trying to be honest
You're ******* with my hopes, while I'm trying my hardest.
You're leading me somewhere I'll never return from.
I'm pleading with you, can I leave a trail of bread crumbs?
Your maelstrom has already destroyed the past.
Your storm has already flooded the caste.
You're like the Wheel, spontaneous, yet ever present.
Thrice I tapped my heels, battling with resentment.
Where do I go, now that my home is in shambles?
You're already gone... at least, you left me my sandals.

It's not too late to realize that your actions define what lies underneath the surface. This web of lies you've woven tight around my mind had me believing that I was in love. A spell brought forth before my very eyes, words invoking a feeling in my heart, just to be left out in the cold, starving for attention... But don't you mind me, I'll be fine, at least I'll be alive, and did I fail to mention that the very sight of your picture makes me want to find time to be with you... But you're with them... With HIM... Not that I believe it's wrong, I want you to be happy, but could you spare some effort for me? Occasionally?
  I finished the Honey this evening; the bottle that christened our first meeting. Tasting the sweet bite takes me back to that night. I held you tight as you dreamed, while my **** screamed in agony, yet my heart bleeds with longing. Yearning for a deeper connection, I claw my way closer to who you really are, not realizing how easy it is to scar... but I respect your boundaries, like anyone elses. And so, once again, I go without... without touch, without grace, and without love. Alone with you, lying next to me in bed.

You medicate my mind, but inside I know I'm dying by your hand alone; yet, my body cries out for more. The high is unlike anything the world could otherwise have shown me, lifting the world off my shoulders. Alas, Atlas, at least you got to breathe the breathe of a Goddess. Green dress, and red hair, so ******* gorgeous, her essence seeping into my stream of Being. My hearts racing, my thoughts, tracing the outline of space and time, encasing Your face in form, accepting my fate and yearning for more... As you gently lay me down, back to dirt, my mind is clouded and my eyes are purple, and I recall a journey, but my memory is hazy, and I'm so tired... To sleep now, and dream of your touch, is all I desire, for tomorrow comes with no mercy, and I must continue on my own... until you call my name, again.

A part of me, now, wonders if you'll ever hear the last verse I wrote for you.
A part of me wonders, how we'll ever grow to be more than words on paper.
A part of me, starts to consider walking away from the past; But,
A part of me remembers the spell I cast was meant to last forever.

You have time to change your profile picture, but not to read my messages... You find time to be with them and do this and that, but where am I at in the picture? Could you even point me out? You've spoken love to me as if it were something that could be, something that could eventually... but when? When will I become a priority? And why is it that the thought of you more and more often just makes me want to cry? I'm tired of hiding, tired of this mirage, it's been a facade all along hasn't it?! Cause this is how you get attention. This is how, you've always gotten along, to obtain what you wanted. Yet, If I'm to confront you over the situation, and how you make me feel, then I'm the one in the wrong. *******, I'm so done. If anyone deserves to bring this energy out of me, they could at least bear witness to the spectacle... lest the show be all for naught and I'm left rotting inside, like the fermented fruit on the ground. There's nothing worse than being ignored. To be gored by your words would be preferable to the silent cold I've been enduring since you decided I wasn't ******* worth it. Well I know my worth God ******* ******, and I won't sell for less than the time it takes to change your god forsaken profile picture.

Speak to me, like you did that night. Look at me, your eyes so bright. Walk with me, by pale moon light. Talk to me, we can make this right.

You are the Major to my minor, the roots to my leaves. You are the silver lining my mirror, you bring out the best in me. You are the fire to my water, the sky to my sea. You are the light that casts my shadow, you shine on the worst of me.

Speak to me again, I miss my friend. Look at me again, it doesn't have to end. Walk with me again, out on the sand. Talk to me again, I promise to you I'll make amends.

You are the Major to my minor, the roots to my leaves. You are the silver lining my mirror, you bring out the best in me. You are the fire to my water, the sky to my sea. You are the light that casts my shadow, you shine on the worst of me.

Carry on my dear, there's nothing to fear.
The road ahead appears before nimble minds and loving tears. Carry on my dear, I'll be waiting right here. Counting ahead the years drag every moment you're not here.

You are the Major to my minor, the roots to my leaves. You are the silver lining my mirror, you bring out the best in me. You are the fire to my water, the sky to my sea. You are light that casts my shadow, you shine on the worst of me.

What does it mean to love yourself, when you left things off on the wrong foot? Stumbling over myself, I couldn't catch the words back in time, they had already slipped out. Now I'm tongue tied and my mind keeps jumping to what you might think of me. It's not my place to say, hell it's not really even my place to care... but I do anyway. Because I WANT you. The sight of your stature sends my blood coursing, the sound of your voice summoning a smile upon my face. Your being invokes these things inside of me, the truth of our meeting reflecting in the stars. I think of you every morning, the image bringing light to my soul like the sun you were born into. To bask in your rays and melt the ice encasing my heart, I'm reaching out, but I'm so cold. And I'm so scared. This place has been my home, my sanctuary, built to protect me from a world so ready to prey upon my underbelly. How do I know you're any different? And then my mind races from desire, to fear, to fear of the desire, because I know where this is all headed... it's nothing that you even did, nothing you could even help, your taste is just too sweet. Your beauty is intoxicating, putting me in a state of animal instinct. I try to stay unattached, lest I forget who I am, swirling in the madness your image whirls me in. To understand that my fear of losing your company exists, and to be aware that this force is self fulfilling is ******* twisting upon itself inside of me, and I just need some reassurance, because I'm ******* insecure, but that's intimacy I can't just ask you for... especially when I couldn't even bring myself to kiss you goodbye.

I can't take it back. All the agony we put each other through. I wasn't alone in the achievement, you see, it was a mutual decision. For so long I closed the doors, locked myself away from everything I had ever known, but how could you know what I was going through?! Or how could I know what I was doing to you.... it was selfish, and I'm ashamed to admit that I'm not sorry for taking the time necessary to grieve. I just wish we could start again... not start over, I don't ever want to step back into the past, but to take the things I've learned from yesterday's withdrawn eclipse and bring them to your light. But you're ashamed of me.... even worse, because the honest truth is that I left you behind, and it took the love of another to open my eyes and see that you had always been there for me. Sorry isn't enough, and I'm not sorry, because she's so ******* beautiful and without her I'd still be hiding in the shadow of my former self, but that's the position you deserve. I want to kiss you, and **** the poison that jealously is seeping into your heart, but you're too righteous, too realistic for romance at its finest. Kindness can only go so far... I guess my negative *** out ran you years ago. I'm sorry it took me this long to look and notice...

Have you ever felt utterly lost for thought? An urge to act, boiling in your center, but in your mind... The only thing you can find is the question that leads you back to where you started in the first place. In this case, what is my meaning? As melancholy engrosses my being, I search for a feeling more than just the buzzing in my face, or the pressure in my temple. It's supposed to be simple, after all, they're still just symbols we made up in the first place? Stemming from a need to communicate, but it's become so complicated. I'm contemplating ways of connecting with you, but the medium seems inescapable... will anyone ever really know me? No... just the bits and pieces I allow, details seamlessly left out of the shadow, as if all you ever knew was the light. I know it's cliché of a Scorpio, to act like I know how to get inside locked doors, but you'd never even realize that I've already seen past the lies, your eyes speak worlds beyond the minds filter. And I'm so tired... of trying to be honest and getting punished for it. But giving you what you desire is satisfying, even if it's all just an illusion. As if you don't know it's a fake... you've just convinced yourself that it's better this way, cause romance is defined this particular day and age, by mermaids, and beasts, and the ***** industry. I've given in enough to know, it's ******* difficult to try something new, but jealously is a toxin created inside of you. We were never meant to own one another, just to love one another, but what is love when just being together isn't enough? You want to know me, you gotta know you, otherwise you're undeserving, and I'm sorry if that's cold, but my time here is precious, and if I don't find my way out of this soon... she may just pass me by...