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3.3k · Oct 2017
"People always leave."
Diary of Jane Oct 2017
"People always leave." - Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill

And sometimes they take you with them too.

The worst kind of people you can lose are the ones losing whom seems like losing yourself too.
2.8k · Aug 2017
My Miracle
Diary of Jane Aug 2017
You
the light
to my dark
the sun
to my moon
the exception
to all my rules

You
the miracle
I never expected from life.
1.9k · Jun 2017
The Return
Diary of Jane Jun 2017
I don’t know
what to do with this new-found grief-
the one I thought I was over and done with.

I am trying to shove it deep inside me
so no one can know of its existence
but I also know from experience
you can’t run or hide from grief.

The only way to get through it-
is to embrace it.
1.8k · Oct 2017
Sunken Fallacy
Diary of Jane Oct 2017
You are always so afraid to let go
Because you always invest too much
in every little thing you do
You don't know any other way
So you are constantly afraid
of the sunken fallacy-
what if you give up oranges for apples
and find out you liked oranges better?
1.8k · Oct 2017
The universe doesn't care
Diary of Jane Oct 2017
The universe doesn't care
How many tears you shed
How hard you pray or love
The universe doesn't care
Your pain is yours alone.
No one else feels it.
No one else heals it.
Diary of Jane Oct 2018
I don't talk
about you anymore
like I used to

Before,
I would speak of you
to anyone and everyone in my life,
sharing pieces of you with others
so much that people started wondering
if there was something between us.
It was never intentional
but rather an involuntary response
to the pull of gravity I felt towards you.

I used to like the way
your name sounded in my tongue
I used to practice uttering it
and whispering nothingness into your ears.

I used to say your name
like it was sacred

but now it has become taboo
to even think of your name
Every time it comes up in my mind
I have to hit the mental brakes,
I no longer mention you
to anyone else
it's like you do not even exist,
never did -
you are just the ghost of a name
that resides somewhere in my head,
collecting dust.
1.3k · Nov 2017
Hesitant
Diary of Jane Nov 2017
I see you look at me
Then look away instantly
and I follow your lead
afraid it would turn into something more
and we cannot let that be.
1.2k · Nov 2018
Can you guess?
Diary of Jane Nov 2018
It doesn't make a sound
when it breaks
but it hurts the loudest.
963 · Jun 2017
Something Happy
Diary of Jane Jun 2017
I wanted to write
something
"happy"
So here you go...
776 · Dec 2017
Restraint
Diary of Jane Dec 2017
Some days
it takes a lot,
all of me
to filter out your thoughts
from my head,
to erase your footprints
from my mind.

Some days
it is as easy as pie
to separate you and I
as if we were nothing
more than strangers
passing through each other's lives.
Diary of Jane Dec 2017
Happiness is as easy
and as free
as watching three little, cuddly puppies-
one brown, one white and one sandy,
rolling on the sand
on the street side
and breaking out in unexpected smile
at the innocence in nature
after you had a ****** night
of battling your existential crisis.
674 · Oct 2017
This too shall pass
Diary of Jane Oct 2017
This too shall pass
You have just got to hang on
and get through this.
No matter how hard it rains today
The years of sun will come again.
Even if it feels like it won't stop,
That the rain will drown the whole world
The sun will come out
And you will be fine
You will be okay
Even if you cannot imagine that right now
Because of all the dark spells in your life,
Just believe that, okay?
Diary of Jane Jul 2018
So tired
of living
in a concrete jungle
Filled with too many people
who are nothing
but strangers.
643 · Jul 2019
Death
Diary of Jane Jul 2019
There are two kinds of death-
One, when the world mourns us
And the other, when we mourn ourselves.
623 · Oct 2017
Aimless Love
Diary of Jane Oct 2017
What kind of love is this
that can neither be expressed
nor remain hidden?
What kind of love is this
that no matter how hard I repress
still overflows in my veins?
What kind of love is this
that demands nothing
but knows only to give?
What kind of love is this
that tears apart my heart
every time we say goodbye?
What kind of love is this
that makes this heart quiver
even at the thought of a time
when you will not be there in my life?
What kind of love is this
that won’t let me feel anything
else for you except this
irrevocable, unconditional love?
What kind of love is this
that has no destination
but still goes on aimlessly?
564 · Jan 2019
Lessons from life
Diary of Jane Jan 2019
Because of you
she learned to cry
without making a sound

Because of you
she learned to hide her puffy eyes
with carefully applied concealer and eyeliner

Because of you
she learned to hide the marks on her wrist
with full sleeves and fancy bracelets

Because of you
she learned to not let someone in
through the walls she has built around her heart

Because of you
she learned to be on her own
and be comfortable with it

Because of you
she learned to love herself
in ways you never could.
Diary of Jane Jul 2018
A thousand different scenarios
I build in my head,
laying awake at night,
watching the forlorn sky
and try to conjure up
the reaction you give me
as it finally dawns you.

But the scenarios dissolve
as reality crashes
and it settles in my stomach
like a ton of bricks
that you will always remain oblivious
to what you mean to me.
530 · Jul 2018
Home
Diary of Jane Jul 2018
He was home to her
in a world
that has always felt
like a mighty stranger.
434 · Jul 2019
Starcrossed
Diary of Jane Jul 2019
You and I
A story unknown to the world
But felt by the universe
Every time we were together.

You and I
A love lost
But still alive somewhere
In the corner of our hearts.

You and I
Two roads that run side by side
But never meet.

You and I
Two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle
That never fit.

You and I
A secret buried deep in our hearts
That will never be revealed.

You and I
A blurry memory in our minds
That will perhaps one day be forgotten with time.

You and I
Two lost souls
That yearned for each other
But never found a way to one another.

You and I
A story that was never written in the stars
But still burned the brightest in our lives.
Sometimes, love doesn't conquer all.
409 · Dec 2018
Unhealthy Coping Mechanism
Diary of Jane Dec 2018
Fall in love
with someone unattainable
to fall out of love
with someone unavailable.
367 · Nov 2018
∞ Wants
Diary of Jane Nov 2018
I want to
keep on looking at you
without being afraid of being caught.

I want to
reach out across the space between us
and hold your hand.

I want to
curve "I love you"
in letters in the palm of your hand.

I want to
ruffle the hair on top of your head
and kiss the tip of your nose.

I want to
feel the warmth of your hands,
cupping my face.

I want to
fall asleep
listening to the beat of your heart.

I want to
wake up and see the sunrise
on your face.

I want to
rush home after work
and tell each other
all about our day.

I want to
come home to you.

I want to
dance with you
in our living room
and under the starry sky on our rooftop.

I want to
live
in a one bedroom apartment
with you.

I want to
travel
the whole world
with you.

I want to
have fights with you
and then make up to you.

I want to
be the first
to wish you on all your birthdays.

I want to
celebrate our anniversary
even when we have hit our eighties.

I want to
be the one
you show all your scars to
and I want to
reveal to you
all the monsters that live in my head.

I want to
be the anchor
in your times of need
and I want you
as my lifeline for all of eternity.

I want to
grow old with you
and remain
forever young at heart.

I want to
spend this one lifetime
and the ones after this
loving you as you are,
knowing that you love me too.
I wrote this poem 3 years back, some time in November 2015 but I lost it as it was stored in my old phone which has been dead for a long time. For some reason it struck my mind yesterday night and I searched my stash of poems as well tried to retrieve it from the dead phone but in vain. So I thought of rewriting it but wasn't sure if I would be able to recollect it, it may not be an exact carbon copy but it's close enough.
353 · Jan 2018
"like"
Diary of Jane Jan 2018
Every time someone asks me, "do you still like him?", I can't help but realize  just how trival the word "like" is.
What I feel for him cannot be encompassed in those four alphabets. I  cannot call it "love" either, cause it feels much deeper, much sacred than any other love I have ever felt before.
All I can say is that I care for him, and perhaps I always will even if we were not in each other's lives.
335 · Jan 2018
Her best kept secret
Diary of Jane Jan 2018
He was the poem
she never read loud
but kept in the page of her diary.
He was the song
she never sung out
but hummed when no one was around.
He was the love
she never let grow...
or die.
314 · Jan 2018
Love in Another Universe
Diary of Jane Jan 2018
Do you think that all the love stories that remain incomplete, all the feelings that remain unresolved and unspoken, all the love that this universe never allows to come alive, do they escape somewhere else?

Away from this universe, may be there is a universe where they are not so forlorn or unrequited. May be they do have a place where they can breathe free, soar high, love to their hearts' content and find their fulfillment.
This was inspired by Lang Leav's Sad Girls and my obsession with parallel worlds
275 · Nov 2017
stray ember
Diary of Jane Nov 2017
A lone stray ember
I cannot rekindle
But no matter
how hard I stomp on it
refuses to be put out.
Stubbornly, obstinately
it keeps on glowing.
270 · Nov 2017
I have always loved you
Diary of Jane Nov 2017
I have always loved you
I hope you know that
even at your worst
at my lowest,
even when you believed
I could never love someone like you
even when I denied to myself
I could never love someone. Period.
I have always loved you.
I hope you know that. Always
261 · Aug 2018
Comfortably Silent
Diary of Jane Aug 2018
Stay
with
me

Sit
by
my side

Reach out
your hand

Speak to me
in silence

I will understand
Diary of Jane Nov 2017
All seemed to have ended that day
But somehow the sun rose the next morning
And everything went on as yesterday.

Years have passed
between then and now.
Life went on.
With or without you.

The pain I felt that day
is no longer there
I don't scream in the nocturnal hours
or gasp for air as if I cannot breathe
I don't clutch my heart in sorrow
or pray to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

It's all a memory now
from another lifetime.

I have accomplished the impossible
and learned to live without you.
It was as if learning to take the first step
without stumbling or falling over.

I can live without you.
I can laugh without you.
I can love without you.
But I still carry my hell
of the life I couldn't live with you.
245 · Jul 2018
when it rains...it pours
Diary of Jane Jul 2018
eyes
              that
                       won't
                                   stop
                                           raining
242 · Dec 2017
life
Diary of Jane Dec 2017
Life is not how many years you lived
But how much you lived in those years
233 · Oct 2017
perception
Diary of Jane Oct 2017
we live
under the same sky
we look at the same sky
yet we look at it
so very differently-
you might look at a cloud
and see an elephant's trunk
while I look at the same cloud
and see a little boy flying a kite.
226 · Jan 2018
Nothing new here
Diary of Jane Jan 2018
You have been down this road before
You know it like the back of your hand,
Nothing new waits here for you-
Every stone, every corner is just the same,
Yet you keep coming back to this path,
As if it has changed
and it's now spring instead of winter.
It's still winter here
And all the leaves are still dead.
So go back where you came from,
Cause there is nothing for you,
except the cold winter and dead leaves.
May be life gives us the same story, the same pain over and over again until we have learned the lesson it was meant to taught us. Or may be some of us are just fools destined to repeat history.
Diary of Jane Feb 2018
Concrete jungle
with swarms of people
more like robots,
less like humans,
always running after something,
round-the-clock,
and striving for something,
without even knowing what.
Confused, lost souls
forgotten to smell the rose,
give away time freely
as if time were endless.
Life is measured in-
how many degrees you earned
and the figure you have for your salary.
Families at home,
often neglected,
but we are doing it all for them,
and not for showing off to the society.
Relationships are more for-
status updates and Instagram likes,
but we don't have time for each other,
except may be on Valentine's day,
cause that is mandatory
to glorify our unconditional love to the world.

The cities are filled with buildings
after buildings,
but let's fill up that waterbody too;
there's no room for people after all;
who needs the greenery or nature?
Let's take it all.
We are humans.
We are supreme.
Everything is ours to claim and reign.

What a grand delusion we live with!

What have we done to the world?
What have we made of ourselves?
The title says it all.
222 · Sep 2019
Loss and Win
Diary of Jane Sep 2019
Win;
At least I don't have to see you with her everyday now.

Loss;
I don't get to see you either, anymore.
208 · Feb 2018
Spring is in the Air
Diary of Jane Feb 2018
Spring is
whenever,
wherever,
You and I
are together.
Today is the first day of spring where I live.
205 · Jan 2018
Miracle/Curse
Diary of Jane Jan 2018
I used to think
you were a miracle.
Now I know.
Sometimes,
even a curse
can disguise itself.
"people come into your life either as a blessing or a lesson."
205 · Feb 2019
Sadness
Diary of Jane Feb 2019
Over and over
I feel this sadness
settle in my heart
as if it were a permanent home
to a bird that refuses to leave its nest.
205 · Jan 2019
Fake Plastic World
Diary of Jane Jan 2019
Sometimes I look around me
and everything feels so fake -
I doubt
if I am real or not.
204 · Feb 2018
Grief & Phoenix
Diary of Jane Feb 2018
Let it out-
all the pain you keep hiding,
all the tears you keep holding inside.
It's okay
if the grief claws out of you.
Just remember-
even if it feels forever,
even if it feels infinite,
even if it feels too much-
it will pass.
You had hit lower than this before
and risen like a phoenix.
You can do it once more.
I promise.
Please don't give up, don't let the monsters in your head win. I know some of us struggle daily with depression, grief, and life and sometimes, it makes zero sense of why we still exist but I strongly believe we exist because we are worth it, even with all of our scars, brokenness, messiness, flaws and what not, we are worth it.
198 · Dec 2018
...
Diary of Jane Dec 2018
...
You and I
A miracle




................

Unwritten
In the stars
198 · Feb 2018
Mourning
Diary of Jane Feb 2018
She stopped missing him a long time back,
but she couldn't get over mourning the girl she was.
Some people will come into your life and alter you completely.
180 · Jul 2018
untitled
Diary of Jane Jul 2018
She was so used to the pain
she won't let happiness touch her
with a ten foot pole.
178 · Feb 2018
Away From You
Diary of Jane Feb 2018
I cannot think of a future
where you are there-
all roads lead
away from you.
162 · Feb 2018
Empty
Diary of Jane Feb 2018
They say, if someone you loved
didn't love you back,
you should take that love,
and spread it
in the world around you.
I have tried and tried
to do just that
but still, it won't fill the gap
that you left behind,
and all I feel is empty.
156 · Oct 2018
of hope and life
Diary of Jane Oct 2018
they say,
as long as there is life
there is hope
but
can you spend your whole life
simply hoping?
maybe some things are just not meant to be
it is better to let those hopes turn to dust
before you do.
Diary of Jane Feb 2018
Only a fool says, "Follow your heart.."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The wise knows the price of it.
146 · Feb 2018
The Dance of Words
Diary of Jane Feb 2018
So many words
swirl in my mind,
one jumping ahead of the other,
before I can grasp them
and make any sense.
They are always in a hurry it seems,
brewing up a storm,
and trying to find reason or rhyme in them
is a futile endeavor.
Let them dance,
cause a cacophony-
they only want your attention,
don't pay any heed to them-
they will only distract
and befuddle you.
You are supposed to be here
not in the chaos of words in your head.
This is dedicated to all the overthinkers in the world.
143 · Jun 2018
Holding on and letting go
Diary of Jane Jun 2018
You will lose people
as you grow older
like coins falling
out of your pocket,
You will lose them
whether you like it or not,
even the ones who promised to stay
and the ones to whom you promised to keep.

Life is a paradox
of holding on and letting go.
141 · Apr 2018
For a glimpse
Diary of Jane Apr 2018
These eyes still thirst for a glimpse of you
among the millions of strangers,
they come across every day,
hoping by some miracle, fate, or chance -
today would be the day
when the thirst would be quenched.
137 · Sep 2018
Untitled
Diary of Jane Sep 2018
Why is it this way
and not that way?
Why can't life be just a li'l bit kinder?
Why do we have to make the best
of every worst situation?
Why do we have to find the strength to let go
when we want to hold on with all our lives?
Why can't everything be simpler?
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