In a room full of people
I would be a nameless, faceless person,
just another face in the crowd
You wouldn't even notice.
and You would always be
the beacon of light
that draws me in.

They say
Denial is the first stage of grief
I think I'm going through it.
I still can't believe that
You are gone,
Just like that, Nana.
Growing up,
I have never known a home
That didn't have you.

I can't believe
that the next time I return
You won't be there,
Waiting for me
In your usual arm chair,
With a cherubic smile on your face,
When you see your granddaughter.

The last time I came home,
I was so afraid
of how much you remember,
if my face would even register,
And when I asked with hope and apprehension,
"Can you recognize me?"
You smiled like,
I had said the silliest thing in the world
and replied, "Why won't I recognize you?"

Home
will never be the same without you.
You used to be my North Star, my Superhero,
The one I always looked up to and was in awe of,
No one will ever match up
To your wisdom, your goodness.
It is like the brightest star
has been snuffed out from my life.
Now, who will I call Nana anymore?
Who will ever smile at me like you used to?

Wherever you are -
I hope you are in a better place,
Happier, healthier, and in peace.
I hope you can walk again in fields of meadows,
And breathe fresh air under the open sky.
I hope you get to eat your favorite dishes
and all the sweets you crave,
I hope where you are,
You can listen to your favorite music,
Read all the books you want,
And write all the stories,
You couldn't in this life.
I hope wherever you are,
You can still feel my love for you.

I will always look for you in the stars,
Love you and miss you forever, Nana.

Like a thief,
It sneaks upon you
Even on your good days.
Happy days,
Full of laughter & sunshine,
When nothing feels wrong
And everything feels right.
And you think you have moved on,
You're over it.
And just like that
It pulls you back,
Pulls you under,
Like nothing else matters,
And you'll always be stuck
In this black hole called grief.

my heart aches for you in ways that it shouldn't.
you were my breath of fresh air and all of a sudden i couldn't breathe.
tell my why you made so many promises you knew you could not keep.
have you already forgotten me?
my love, i'm drowning in your silence,
please tell me it was real.

She was the kind of girl
Who believed in
Fairytales, one true loves,
And happily ever afters.
But life had other plans for her.
Her rose-coloured lens were no more,
Nor was she ever destined
To get her own happily ever after.
And so she fell in love
With heartbreak instead.

You were ordinary,
Flawed, & imperfect.
I loved you,
Made a god out of you,
That was my sin,
And this grief
Is my penance.

You suit in my dreams
Better than in my reality
I hope our paths never cross
In this life -
I hope we never ever meet
Under the same sky,
For if we ever did
I would most likely
Turn away from you,
Cross the roads
To avoid you,
As if we were
Two strangers
That never met,
Because you suit
In my dreams better.