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"unconvinced" poems
Feeling unhappy; that I'm not good enough Unconvinced and in despair, Disbelief in my own act and decisions I am doing the best I could to meet the expectations; thus I am frustrated Why am I putting a lot of pressure on myself just to seek attention? I am trying hard until gratified Why am I still unfulfilled? In fact, I am scared I fear that I may fail and may not reach satisfaction It feeds my self-doubt perhaps I am good-for-nothing
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Feb 22, 2017
Feb 22, 2017 at 12:10 PM UTC
ODE TO MY ATYCHIPHOBIA
This feeling I have that drags my spirit And I indulge in its lowly zest out of habit My feet they move in a trudge like manner Shoulders hunched inwards non receptive to splendour. How heavy it is in my heart I weep For a life been dealt in a single, swift sweep Cards that has been dealt from aeons past Oaths recited loudly so that they would last. Amidst the crowd of mask-faced happiness Unconvinced, I slipped past unfound lest I be careless. Discomforted in what on this path may lie Discontented as such that my heart whines a cry. Rigidity of routine when sensibility took over Bruised bad and battered well my heart tumbled after It felt like it's the end of my dream laden days Reality sinks in, picks on my heart and there it stays. I don't want to leave my coveted dreamscape I don't want to destroy my only means of escape On the ***** of fantasy, forever I want to stay But it's crumbling away alarmingly like sun beaten clay. I deceive my heart into thinking that there's still hope Truth is I may have come to the end of the rope Heart wants to hear a faint whisper of reassurance Mind chides heart, it judgingly delivers it's sentence. My cries cannot be heard, a wail of futile pleas Banging on locked doors for which I don't have the keys So weak this spirit for it has thus been broken Morsel by morsel, this hapless soul is being eaten. This burden I'm carrying seem never to have lightened It is the dark of this period I wish to have brightened Someone, anyone help...please show me a way In this god forsaken pit I do not wish to stay. However there exists yet a slim little chance Key to courage is somewhere if I could afford a glance Chances are that I may never even find it I'll be trapped in a hole in which I can never truly fit.
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Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 5:16 AM UTC
Morose
This feeling I have that drags my spirit And I indulge in its lowly zest out of habit My feet they move in a trudge like manner Shoulders hunched inwards non receptive to splendour. How heavy it is in my heart I weep For a life been dealt in a single, swift sweep Cards that has been dealt from aeons past Oaths recited loudly so that they would last. Amidst the crowd of mask-faced happiness Unconvinced, I slipped past unfound lest I be careless. Discomforted in what on this path may lie Discontented as such that my heart whines a cry. Rigidity of routine when sensibility took over Bruised bad and battered well my heart tumbled after It felt like it's the end of my dream laden days Reality sinks in, picks on my heart and there it stays. I don't want to leave my coveted dreamscape I don't want to destroy my only means of escape On the ***** of fantasy, forever I want to stay But it's crumbling away alarmingly like sun beaten clay. I deceive my heart into thinking that there's still hope Truth is I may have come to the end of the rope Heart wants to hear a faint whisper of reassurance Mind chides heart, it judgingly delivers it's sentence. My cries cannot be heard, a wail of futile pleas Banging on locked doors for which I don't have the keys So weak this spirit for it has thus been broken Morsel by morsel, this hapless soul is being eaten. This burden I'm carrying seem never to have lightened It is the dark of this period I wish to have brightened Someone, anyone help...please show me a way In this god forsaken pit I do not wish to stay. However there exists yet a slim little chance Key to courage is somewhere if I could afford a glance Chances are that I may never even find it I'll be trapped in a hole in which I can never truly fit.
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36
*"If you wake up this morning believing that saying a few Latin words over your pancakes will turn them into the body of Elvis Presley, you have lost your mind."* He has often asserted that the thing is absurd: that someone who does not (whether out of hatred, indifference, lack of conviction, or frankly whatever) accept traditional dogmas is still, for some reason, capable of wishing that they could. I think he is right; I’ve heard a staunch atheist say “If only I could, but I cannot.” So, this is why he aligns himself as an anti-theist: he simply was never properly convinced. This position seems (at least to me) well-supported, for anyone can quite readily (and easily) accept what their father or their clergyman has said (especially as a child, not knowing any better). Thus, to be an atheist one must have first acknowledged supernatural power and then later, after a bit of thought, dismissed it. In light of this, I propose a toast to the Real Skeptic, the one who was never really convinced; of it. The one who, when celebrating the Eucharist, wondered why God wanted to be eaten, who , when receiving Christ, thought of the extreme certainty by which other faiths' devotees (Islam, Heaven's Gate, Mormonism, Bon, Cargo Cults, Shinto, Falun Gong) live and preach – some even delighted to die. Thoughts like these always made me feel uneasy as a child because how could I hope to keep my little mind from accidentally discovering fallacy after fallacy? So, here is a toast to the Unconvinced, who can’t possibly help but not believe.
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Oct 1, 2012
Oct 1, 2012 at 3:47 PM UTC
Something for Sam Harris
*"If you wake up this morning believing that saying a few Latin words over your pancakes will turn them into the body of Elvis Presley, you have lost your mind."* He has often asserted that the thing is absurd: that someone who does not (whether out of hatred, indifference, lack of conviction, or frankly whatever) accept traditional dogmas is still, for some reason, capable of wishing that they could. I think he is right; I’ve heard a staunch atheist say “If only I could, but I cannot.” So, this is why he aligns himself as an anti-theist: he simply was never properly convinced. This position seems (at least to me) well-supported, for anyone can quite readily (and easily) accept what their father or their clergyman has said (especially as a child, not knowing any better). Thus, to be an atheist one must have first acknowledged supernatural power and then later, after a bit of thought, dismissed it. In light of this, I propose a toast to the Real Skeptic, the one who was never really convinced; of it. The one who, when celebrating the Eucharist, wondered why God wanted to be eaten, who , when receiving Christ, thought of the extreme certainty by which other faiths' devotees (Islam, Heaven's Gate, Mormonism, Bon, Cargo Cults, Shinto, Falun Gong) live and preach – some even delighted to die. Thoughts like these always made me feel uneasy as a child because how could I hope to keep my little mind from accidentally discovering fallacy after fallacy? So, here is a toast to the Unconvinced, who can’t possibly help but not believe.
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33
i cannot believe how long its been *yet still i love every piece of you* i tell myself you felt the same way you didn't mean to hurt me not every word you spoke was a lie but still i am unconvinced what if what if you did hurt me on purpose would i still love you ...i would it's a thought i cannot bear
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Feb 16, 2017
Feb 16, 2017 at 1:29 AM UTC
Still
He told me I could search the world over and I would never find anything anywhere quite like him I'm a Leo   So I took that as a challenge and headed out on a journey I returned to his door two and a half years later triumphant When he opened his door I stated with pride "I did it!"   "Prove it." he demanded quietly leaning against his door frame, looking, both intrigued and unconvinced. I took off my back pack, set it on the step, reached in, carefully withdrew a mason jar and passed it to him. "What's this?" he asked "You." "It's an empty mason jar." "It's not at all empty. It's filled to the brim with all the stuff you're made of." "Oh? What kind of stuff?" " Inside that bottle is the magic of a rainbow I found in Greenland, star light I found in the North West Territories, wind from each of the four corners, air that's been caressed by butterfly wings from St. Lucia, sun beams from Samoa, the innocence of a newborn from Uruguay, the passion of a gypsy from Romania, the heat of a thunder bolt from South Carolina, the fragrance of the first bloom of summer from England, the poetic joy of Ireland, and one salty tear of a mermaid from Fiji.  You."  I said again triumphantly "All that's in here, eh?" I nodded. "Well, you must be tired, being right can be exhausting." he said with a grin as he reached out for my hand "It is and I am." I admitted placing my hand in his "Would you like to come in?" " Yes, I would like to come in. I'd like that very much."
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Apr 18, 2013
Apr 18, 2013 at 2:52 PM UTC
He Told me I Would Never
He told me I could search the world over and I would never find anything anywhere quite like him I'm a Leo   So I took that as a challenge and headed out on a journey I returned to his door two and a half years later triumphant When he opened his door I stated with pride "I did it!"   "Prove it." he demanded quietly leaning against his door frame, looking, both intrigued and unconvinced. I took off my back pack, set it on the step, reached in, carefully withdrew a mason jar and passed it to him. "What's this?" he asked "You." "It's an empty mason jar." "It's not at all empty. It's filled to the brim with all the stuff you're made of." "Oh? What kind of stuff?" " Inside that bottle is the magic of a rainbow I found in Greenland, star light I found in the North West Territories, wind from each of the four corners, air that's been caressed by butterfly wings from St. Lucia, sun beams from Samoa, the innocence of a newborn from Uruguay, the passion of a gypsy from Romania, the heat of a thunder bolt from South Carolina, the fragrance of the first bloom of summer from England, the poetic joy of Ireland, and one salty tear of a mermaid from Fiji.  You."  I said again triumphantly "All that's in here, eh?" I nodded. "Well, you must be tired, being right can be exhausting." he said with a grin as he reached out for my hand "It is and I am." I admitted placing my hand in his "Would you like to come in?" " Yes, I would like to come in. I'd like that very much."
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19
The corridors are long with no diversions The way in which we walk is already known, Turn and go back will only hinder distance covered Forward progression burns through the heart. Whoever watching, why do we lose both ways? Can we even rise over all the soul piercing strategies? Take each step for money to be earned Lose every shred of integrity, or stand still, be kind and wither into a background number dissolving into the wallpaper of the inoffensive. The corridor is long, it gets darker and less enticing The way in which i walk is almost robotic in tone. The choice to turn back is an illusion believed to exist but i am unconvinced of this option anymore. Hide or be hid, the choice is there to be made, No footprint is allowed to influence, unless the influence is seen to add to what our leaders have printed in notes.
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Aug 5, 2015
Aug 5, 2015 at 6:38 AM UTC
No Corners in Corridors
Don not be afraid to make mistakes, Mistakes are the best teachers Who encourage us to learn what is right from what we did wrong and mistakes teach a lesson which we seldom forget Unconvinced aren't you? Hello!!! How many time do you think Albert Einstein tried and adjusted Tumbled and fell all the people called him crazy, remember? but he never stopped trying.... Tell me when he did stop?
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Jun 26, 2013
Jun 26, 2013 at 1:37 PM UTC
Mistakes are the best teachers
Smelling sharp, Line up in the graveyard. Throw in your bones. The pious are the sactified. Hold the bottle, Intermittent puddles. Full of people. Breathing and suffocating. Unconvinced thoughts, Continually misfiring. That poisonous smell, That soft ticking. Pulling me closer, To the end of the world. Burn the spires, Complicated regressions. Dead mind, Straight to stone, Close the door on, The shadows on the ceiling
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Apr 4, 2013
Apr 4, 2013 at 10:36 AM UTC
Replacement
Full of cliches, My words are trapped---twisted Around and under thick slabbed Tongue that fumbles Unconvinced of its syllables. Smokethoughts cling Sullen to enamel backs, Graveyard angels That smirk at those heavy Tombstones; Monument to language’s death.
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Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 12:29 AM UTC
Trapped
Can someone tell me What it is to live? Dying seems easy, An every-day event And like weddings, or birth, adorned with flowers, gifts like love, respect, and memories, so many silver spoonfuls of memories. Now I have seen it so many times, the old, the young, the kin, the stranger... In war And peace, In feast And famine. With duty, with a duty of care, an onlooker full of compassion... every-way imaginable. In places undreamed, In inevitable areas... In the family pews On rainy dismal days, And on the faraway ghats Before a hot afternoon; each experience leaving a feeling that one shouldn't be there. Now everyone has packed and shuffled, And I have wrung my hands for the last time, I tell myself unconvinced. Now that everyone has left me In this landscape, I look around And recognise nothing. Age does not matter, each one an orphan, each telling themselves that it is for the last time... Lead me away from that funereal path where they all are and are not, simultaneously; something else awaits me, down this byway, across a different track, In a different part of the mountain.
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Jan 10, 2011
Jan 10, 2011 at 2:47 AM UTC
Tell
**Each day passing by in a wild-eyed dash In truth my soul fell aside, but bluer birds still doth call Missed that cardinal harken when I set down my last two cents Kickers of tricks, scroll-ers of myth, bottlers of ships Knew it all along, just couldn’t stiff the rest Refuse to capitol, refuge atop the pious politic that steeps these hills Is it not hard to tell? The meanings of what buys in bulk The people is we, of what sells slicker than plot itself A minority rule, hid reasons from majority fooled That is working trade class, taught to chain drive The gleaming sheen glowing green, crowning jewel¬¬¬ is as mist and steam, fleeting as the wash of this worlds seething seas We, the misanthrope of being, bloom in the warmth of idea Only to recede at the water mark high of each our lives Authenticity bless the distant time, costless venture to each about die, salute through another caesars’ dilated eye a definition Eons in annunciation; immortality flashing by Reverence cannot lie, not long at least neathe a chipping patina Gold leafed by the hand of man, coerced creations’ fondling finger tips strips thin, leaving us then to watch the weathering Not a one may ever remember for too quickly or too timely Arrives dismemberment, a cyclic certainty, often relegated falsely As loss or gain, truly misspoken frames for reference At any given attempt to render the language of tongues, oh speaker the son of the morning shamelessly ****** by predecessors increasingly lavish Phonemic savage; life running rabid, splicing love over the atom The simple one whom tends a patch of what he calls “cabbage” Knowing always the wordless truth that is his field fallowing Unconvinced by everyone, save himself if nothing else Penitent candor dangle, frameless wonder can you hear the thunder?**
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Oct 17, 2013
Oct 17, 2013 at 2:44 PM UTC
**The Forth Wheel, The Last Meal**
**Each day passing by in a wild-eyed dash In truth my soul fell aside, but bluer birds still doth call Missed that cardinal harken when I set down my last two cents Kickers of tricks, scroll-ers of myth, bottlers of ships Knew it all along, just couldn’t stiff the rest Refuse to capitol, refuge atop the pious politic that steeps these hills Is it not hard to tell? The meanings of what buys in bulk The people is we, of what sells slicker than plot itself A minority rule, hid reasons from majority fooled That is working trade class, taught to chain drive The gleaming sheen glowing green, crowning jewel¬¬¬ is as mist and steam, fleeting as the wash of this worlds seething seas We, the misanthrope of being, bloom in the warmth of idea Only to recede at the water mark high of each our lives Authenticity bless the distant time, costless venture to each about die, salute through another caesars’ dilated eye a definition Eons in annunciation; immortality flashing by Reverence cannot lie, not long at least neathe a chipping patina Gold leafed by the hand of man, coerced creations’ fondling finger tips strips thin, leaving us then to watch the weathering Not a one may ever remember for too quickly or too timely Arrives dismemberment, a cyclic certainty, often relegated falsely As loss or gain, truly misspoken frames for reference At any given attempt to render the language of tongues, oh speaker the son of the morning shamelessly ****** by predecessors increasingly lavish Phonemic savage; life running rabid, splicing love over the atom The simple one whom tends a patch of what he calls “cabbage” Knowing always the wordless truth that is his field fallowing Unconvinced by everyone, save himself if nothing else Penitent candor dangle, frameless wonder can you hear the thunder?**
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26
A tiny devil lands on my shoulder; having no counter- part, she stands                                and, as I walk                                at rabbit's pace                                to the old place                                where we used to talk,                                                                     she drags from                                                                     her cigarette,                                                                     flicking it,                                                                     hum-drum. "He ain't comin'," she says, and ashes on my neck.                                "Don't need him,"                                I lie--should lie                                down to die,                                but light up instead. Unconvinced, she scoffs at me. "Then what do you need?" And a dreadful wind                                              slithers through                                              the fissure,                                              icy, bitter.                                              "I don't need you."                                                                                 The woods, too                                                                                 are dead, like us--                                                                                 a Winter-sheared husk                                                                                 through and through. You'll come, I hope, leaning over the grove, or maybe I don't.                                       You'll come, I hope,                                        leaning over                                        the grove, or                                        maybe you won't.
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Jan 3, 2013
Jan 3, 2013 at 12:22 AM UTC
You and the Woods and the Devil on my Shoulder
A tiny devil lands on my shoulder; having no counter- part, she stands                                and, as I walk                                at rabbit's pace                                to the old place                                where we used to talk,                                                                     she drags from                                                                     her cigarette,                                                                     flicking it,                                                                     hum-drum. "He ain't comin'," she says, and ashes on my neck.                                "Don't need him,"                                I lie--should lie                                down to die,                                but light up instead. Unconvinced, she scoffs at me. "Then what do you need?" And a dreadful wind                                              slithers through                                              the fissure,                                              icy, bitter.                                              "I don't need you."                                                                                 The woods, too                                                                                 are dead, like us--                                                                                 a Winter-sheared husk                                                                                 through and through. You'll come, I hope, leaning over the grove, or maybe I don't.                                       You'll come, I hope,                                        leaning over                                        the grove, or                                        maybe you won't.
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40
When I was fifteen, I took a Health class and got "the talk,"-- (it's not what you're thinking because this is Tennessee). It started with the boys and girls being separated and mass-confusion ensued like bees who lost their queen-- (despite being female, I'm still scared of ***** diagrams). Our speaker's name was Mary, but I think that was faked. We were fed PG-rated and legally mandated information about how our bodies are meant for HUSBANDS ONLY-- (joke's on her, half of my diet consists of Taco Tuesday). Mary guided us through the "exciting changes" of our body only to declare quite firmly that *** doesn't even feel good"-- (unless you're married, of course, because your holes are holy). And yet I was unconvinced. And thus began my intrinsic journey of "pearl-hunting." After all, if it didn't feel good with my hand, I couldn't imagine what a **** would do for me and, boy oh boy, that woman was so WRONG **** on that, Mary). But I digress, because I confess, I never really even gave my ******** a second thought before I took an ABSTINENCE CLASS.
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Dec 27, 2017
Dec 27, 2017 at 10:07 PM UTC
A Tribute to Abstinence Class
*You are no longer a child innocent or forgiven.* *Slower now, dreams have taken flight with butterflies and ***** thrown beyond your reach. No longer child-bright, you stand in court where age grows upon the wall and eats the air.* *Your shadow lingers frightened at the door unconvinced then bounds away to chase a dream.*
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May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 8:14 PM UTC
All Grown Up
We’re peripheral. Bystanders rubbernecking as our bodies commit high treason. Too caught in the frenzy we've created to count the mounting casualties, we remain unconvinced of our burgeoning criminality. We accelerate to keep ourselves from breaking, shift gears and clutch to these moments just to feel the release. But when the collisions cease, we’re pried apart, torn free by the jaws of daily life. As our eyes clear, the sirens sound and the wreckage overwhelms us.
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Mar 18, 2013
Mar 18, 2013 at 2:45 PM UTC
Accidentally
i am not just a pretty face and i am not just my sadness. i am a question that has no answer. i am a more than a collection of mistakes. i am a collection of words and photographs and more than a few good stories. i am laughter and sarcasm and tears. a rebel with a forgotten cause. i am compassion. i am at once caring too much and too little. the world has never been enough for me. i am forever picking up the pieces, forever apologizing even when i’m right. i am a collision of mind and circumstance. a million bad memories set on repeat. i am one long, sad requiem. i am the soundtrack to my days. i am dismal, haunting images of regret. i strive to be part of the beauty around me. i am a writer. i am a free mind with a shackled soul. i am no one’s enemy and no one’s friend. i am alone and always have been. i am jealousy and fear. i am disappointment to myself and to those who knew me then. i am a wrong turn and a snap decision. i am selfish and guilty and i don’t know why. i am unconvinced of everything. i am doubtful, disheveled, and disproportionately hopeful. i am a creator of life and a healer of ills. i cry every day for what i’ve lost. i am forever searching and i’ll never find it. i take comfort in the thought of the universe. i am but a fleeting phantasm in this brief reality
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Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013 at 1:49 AM UTC
who am i?
You sneered at me because you thought I'd lied and stared at me through drunken eyes of pain, then waved me off as I tried to explain. You turned away, just shook your head and sighed, still unconvinced that I had not a clue where she had gone since I had left her here. You drove away, your taillights disappeared into the driving snow, the wind that blew. The same snow broke your fall as you collapsed, but couldn't keep your temple from the bruise that showed up three days later as you lay in state but not in peace. I think I snapped; I spoke to you, 'twas Dylan's words I used: Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears I pray.
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Jan 17, 2011
Jan 17, 2011 at 2:01 PM UTC
Forgive me, father
As Children of The Almighty, we have the God-given ability to rise up, without the shame of knowing who we really are, despite our souls’ fragility. Have we been taught and shown Love, Mercy, Grace, Forgiveness and Peace that we require daily? So what is holding us back now, from overcoming this human mess of feeling inadequate or ignorant? About 90% of The World is headed towards Hell, unconvinced about the legitimacy of the Christian Lifestyle, whereby God’s embedded His Presence and power is in us. We’re not meant to be superfluous, seeing that we’re supposed to be both the hands and feet of Christ. So The World remains nonplussed, plagued by their own doubts, which is reinforced by our poor treatment of them; our continued failures to walk in Love, reflects our inability to thrive with joyous contentment. . . . Author notes Inspired by: Luke 10:19; Eph 1:3-141 Cor 12:27; Rom 12:9-21; Matt 5:13-16 Learn more about me and my poetry at: http://amzn.to/1ffo9YZ By Joseph J. Breunig 3rd, © 2016, All rights reserved.
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Jul 3, 2016
Jul 3, 2016 at 1:34 PM UTC
Poem: Rise Up
As the World turns I can hear the world Yearn They're unruly and desperately reck-less seeking for love on ever- lasting terms But they proceed with no concern they're unable to discern or learn Not heeding the many warnings and dan- gers Unaware of the many forces that lin- ger Now as we stand by idly as we witness this cruel state of Ig-nor-ance We're losing our Innocence instead of making sense of what's going on Unconvinced of the shapes that are taking form We're miss-in- formed sowing the seeds to breed the Devil's Spawn Provoking violence within the mindset of the spiritually blinded While letting our Silence speak the truth of the spirits that blind Us Reminding us of where we Fail A rude awakening outa the Spell Snapping outa the Trance of being frozen in a mea-ning-less stance For our only chance to Survive Is to thrive in our circumstance Moving on in advance observing Truth Learning to pro- gress As we focus in our aims to Arrest these developments of Carnality We're pulling down the Devil's Faculty Exposing Principalities wherever they may Be
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Mar 29, 2022
Mar 29, 2022 at 11:46 PM UTC
Spiritual Faculties
I try and try and try again I don't know why I do! I know that some things never change Because some things never do Romance and passion and love in my words Unconvinced you I will get in return. I'm trying to tell you, I'm trying to say But you just won't listen, heart is blocking your brain You like someone bad for you You know that I'm good You know that I tell you I'm not misunderstood, but you just won't change it Your vision and views! they're crowded with irrelevance and nonsense and too many feelings that you don't really have! You don't love someone else, you're just feeling bad, and lonely, and confused I know how you feel, To be used like this I don't know why it appeals, he's being ruthless Not sparing a thought, he's in it for fun, if he'd change his ways, I'd feel better for one, for seconds I'd stop because you'd be happy, and I still think that this love **** is sappy and silly because you just need a hug I'm not conceited but it's me you would love. You want some romance, I'll be there for you I'll give you flowers and hugs and kisses too I'd be the best and caring and sweet, and when the mood is right I'd sweep you off your feet. You've never known someone as amazing as me, I'm sweeter than sugar But don't put me in tea, I'm stuck in a sea of worries and doubts, my brain is on fire, my tears are putting it out. I think rationally the way to explain, you're walking on thin ice you're in the devils domain, come closer to heaven come closer to me We don't need to die to be together silly. We could be living and happy as anyone Just give me a chance, all i'm asking is one Maybe a week and then you'll realise That I may be short but my heart opens wide and i'll increase in size personality-wise to be just what you need all of the time Do what you will I'll wait anyway Hopefully soon I'll get my day When it's my chance to woo you And soothe you, so sweetly and give you what you want, need,  and desire completely... I don't mean to drone on, this poem ain't sappy I'm saying what I'm saying because I'll make you happy It wouldn't be a problem if he could too I have your best interests in mind, not mine For you, are more important to me than myself.
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Sep 9, 2010
Sep 9, 2010 at 5:22 PM UTC
Hearts denied
I try and try and try again I don't know why I do! I know that some things never change Because some things never do Romance and passion and love in my words Unconvinced you I will get in return. I'm trying to tell you, I'm trying to say But you just won't listen, heart is blocking your brain You like someone bad for you You know that I'm good You know that I tell you I'm not misunderstood, but you just won't change it Your vision and views! they're crowded with irrelevance and nonsense and too many feelings that you don't really have! You don't love someone else, you're just feeling bad, and lonely, and confused I know how you feel, To be used like this I don't know why it appeals, he's being ruthless Not sparing a thought, he's in it for fun, if he'd change his ways, I'd feel better for one, for seconds I'd stop because you'd be happy, and I still think that this love **** is sappy and silly because you just need a hug I'm not conceited but it's me you would love. You want some romance, I'll be there for you I'll give you flowers and hugs and kisses too I'd be the best and caring and sweet, and when the mood is right I'd sweep you off your feet. You've never known someone as amazing as me, I'm sweeter than sugar But don't put me in tea, I'm stuck in a sea of worries and doubts, my brain is on fire, my tears are putting it out. I think rationally the way to explain, you're walking on thin ice you're in the devils domain, come closer to heaven come closer to me We don't need to die to be together silly. We could be living and happy as anyone Just give me a chance, all i'm asking is one Maybe a week and then you'll realise That I may be short but my heart opens wide and i'll increase in size personality-wise to be just what you need all of the time Do what you will I'll wait anyway Hopefully soon I'll get my day When it's my chance to woo you And soothe you, so sweetly and give you what you want, need,  and desire completely... I don't mean to drone on, this poem ain't sappy I'm saying what I'm saying because I'll make you happy It wouldn't be a problem if he could too I have your best interests in mind, not mine For you, are more important to me than myself.
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47
in history, when hen and then again, east and west become alike, the h and h of what's current, and when science encompasses trigonometry of the threes, with waving doubles of the u, and the chance graphic of x, y, z expansion; sometimes it's not what's about to be lived, but rather what's to be understood. i'm alluding to, i'm not deluded by, but then what's sanity if a haystack rather than a pitchfork is, with the concept of reincarnation appropriated for educational purposes? don't look at me to manage the immortals' puppet strings; if his highness would kindly like to stop hanging on the four winds and re-enter the tetragrammaton from his holy tetracursus ambitions - another day brought into night with a flick of the hand - yes, down from the cross; expanding as he has no wonder the Indians and the Chinese are unconvinced crafting a likeness not akin to lions but to ants - thus they number happily without existential concerns - not a single number partaking in ambivalent sales of a hundred years like it was eternity; it's just a t-shirt, i was just a ****** tourist, look, i'm wearing umbro jogging trousers, a dressing-gown, and a t-shirt with a Maltese cross of the Hospitallers on it... that's all; and if the Eiffel tower was the first structure to topple the height of the pyramids of Giza... i'm not surprised by the dark ages... imagine building a skyscraper with only two rooms in it... i've stood under the Eiffel tower... it's scary to think of the pyramids and the glorification of man about to be buried with a reverse anatomy of being ****** out dry and not become an ***** donor, when a simple engraving would suffice - you know, the more human you become (i.e. age), the more bewildered you become by the body you're stored in rather than the things outside of you in what's called the universe paradoxically to no known unity among man.
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Mar 28, 2016
Mar 28, 2016 at 7:15 AM UTC
Maltese Crux and the Tetracursus
in history, when hen and then again, east and west become alike, the h and h of what's current, and when science encompasses trigonometry of the threes, with waving doubles of the u, and the chance graphic of x, y, z expansion; sometimes it's not what's about to be lived, but rather what's to be understood. i'm alluding to, i'm not deluded by, but then what's sanity if a haystack rather than a pitchfork is, with the concept of reincarnation appropriated for educational purposes? don't look at me to manage the immortals' puppet strings; if his highness would kindly like to stop hanging on the four winds and re-enter the tetragrammaton from his holy tetracursus ambitions - another day brought into night with a flick of the hand - yes, down from the cross; expanding as he has no wonder the Indians and the Chinese are unconvinced crafting a likeness not akin to lions but to ants - thus they number happily without existential concerns - not a single number partaking in ambivalent sales of a hundred years like it was eternity; it's just a t-shirt, i was just a ****** tourist, look, i'm wearing umbro jogging trousers, a dressing-gown, and a t-shirt with a Maltese cross of the Hospitallers on it... that's all; and if the Eiffel tower was the first structure to topple the height of the pyramids of Giza... i'm not surprised by the dark ages... imagine building a skyscraper with only two rooms in it... i've stood under the Eiffel tower... it's scary to think of the pyramids and the glorification of man about to be buried with a reverse anatomy of being ****** out dry and not become an ***** donor, when a simple engraving would suffice - you know, the more human you become (i.e. age), the more bewildered you become by the body you're stored in rather than the things outside of you in what's called the universe paradoxically to no known unity among man.
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45
I'm mad at God I've never been mad at him before Always understanding and patient I never questioned the purpose of the pain The purpose of pain I'm sure there is one but I am tired It is the same thing and I find myself trapped in a cycle of insanity What is the purpose? What is the lesson? What am I missing? I'm mad at God Maybe mad is the wrong word Frustrated. Hurt. Exhausted. Angry. But not mad. Its not so much a place of casting blame but rather "what do you want from me!?" How much longer will I have to endure? How much longer will I have to cry out? When will I see an answer? You don't play mind games and yet I am currently unconvinced of this Unconvinced I have received any sort of healing only led to believe so "I don't know" has been a phrase I've said the most So yes perhaps I am mad at God. I don't know what else to feel when one is falling apart, even if they are falling into place. The pain is still the same.
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May 6, 2024
May 6, 2024 at 10:56 PM UTC
Mad at God
When gunmetal streets begin to fade into jazz My soul walks cool, unafraid into jazz There are dissonant holes in the sky tonight The world seems at once to cascade into jazz The old district buzzing with ambition’s jam Each dancer's alchemy turns suede into jazz And the city lights stiff with rigor mortis Revived into blues, then swayed into jazz Windows begin flooding unassuming streets First timid, the passersby wade into jazz Some to their ankles, unconvinced of the rhyme Others shun inhibition and parade into jazz Their excitement displaced by a mellow groove Miles Davis lilts above, casting shade into jazz
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Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 12:18 AM UTC
27 of 30 - Into Jazz (Ghazal)
James and I just like sharpening our minds iron on iron, and tonight we brag we have evolved past the struggle for life then tiny drops of red shotgunned and glittered on the deck silence, like a stalking cop catches us off guard, saunters up the stairs and points at the blood mist on the floor then more, more sprays from our heaving friend wrenched over a stolen desk hacking at red roots in her throat then drawing in her breath through the gravel in her neck sputters in a bubbling little choke stillness is broken by her hand, batting, at the sticky scarlet strings ******* on her chin It’s just Redvines, guys we hear it, unconvinced eyes still stuck to a splatter of stained saliva where something confident had been spit but dribbled like a weakness from her lips but after she had wiped clean the candy bleeding from her teeth we lit and toasted a smoke to long life and to health--- if on us it depends may it never come again.
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Dec 13, 2011
Dec 13, 2011 at 6:20 AM UTC
Red Vines
Janice helped you to gather up the loose pieces of coal on the cobbled road leading to the coal wharf off Meadow Row you watched as she put the pieces in the sack you’d brought with you as the evening mist settled upon the scene her red beret placed at an angle her hair smooth as water is this allowed? she asked looking around at the back of houses still standing after the wartime bombing finders keepers you said or so Granddad told me the other week when I saw him she gazed at you unconvinced but put in more of the black pieces you handed to her what will my gran say when she sees my blackened hands? Janice said I can’t tell her or she’ll tan my hide as she calls it you looked at her coal stained fingers the way they held and placed the coal you can wash your hands at my place you said Mum won’t mind she likes you anyway Janice looked at you her lips spreading into a smile nice to know she said maybe when we’re grown and married she’ll like me better the sky had darkened the mist heavy the moon glowing I guess so you said wondering if her gran would see it that way if she lived to see the day that should be enough coal now you said taking the sack from her blackened hands noticing the thin fingers she rubbing her hands together against the cold the dark and winter weather.
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Jan 4, 2013
Jan 4, 2013 at 3:23 PM UTC
JANICE AND YOU AND GATHERING COAL,