It took until now
thin and mid 20s
to comprehend
that as a child I was
and as an adult
still very much am
spoiled

little childhood
traumas to mine
               no festering drama
               no shrouded mess

calm can bury like a
gravity blanket
               too hot or too cold
               I complain

I have never clawed
at my belly in hunger
felt my body
fall off in jeweled
pieces but I have
at times been
hungry

adulthood is a lake
blue black and endless
               rife with mudtraps
                    brimming with viperheads
                         scraping at the surface water

I am spoiled
I have not known pain
but I knew a person
whose eyes prodded
               like nails through jello
my insides and cut
tendrils of muscle
and delighted in the
stitching back
               the pushing of
                    needle through
                         meaty bits

some time after
I was grown
but flailing madly
as a comet poised
for landfall

a beetle in
a dust storm
a child with its
first scraped knee

my flesh yearns
for the needle
and for skin all
smooth and
scarred and
like the color of night
               singing
like the color of night
like sky like light
a rapturous blue

Your the one son being rebellious little darlings here comes
the sun drenching delicious but wait those cloudy days
watch out the hunters run ducking our heads like babies
wetting and water squirting beds getting too saucy
  ten O clock playpen the daring duck gourmet sauce
Orange you glad all her rich creme spread across
her penpals
Do you trust those gals too country slick on Newsweek

Getting paid he is the longest laid egg all grilled we are
not thrilled here is the "Chuckie Duckie" doll those *****
barbie collectors they are sitting duck Graphic Artist
Not one quack doll plastic surgeon duck lips she thinks
shes the hot stuff romantic "French" lips up the
"Eiffel Tower" splash splash she is out of cash
Those hot items presidential poll what a lost soul

Too much blue yes attention swan dancers Springtime
Not  the red attention yellow instead ****** please
I need a  journey not the "Attorney" such a ****** case
When you need them they always duck
When they have a new quack case they are ruining
my image
Duck tapesty Carol Kings youve got a friend

I'm feeling yellow homesick on your feather duck pillow
The same yellow tie a different atmosphere Go- Spa
She's flirting do you know where your going how is
life treating you he's giggling way too wild on her
goose chase
  Losing our grip down to her chicken bone hip
Duck season not much time for love being hunted

The Spa  la la ha have Merci' oh la la 'Disco Duck"
The wild ones the only ones quack- quack the
lonely ones
At the waterfront trip to "Chinatown" they let
them hang to dry but why Dad? They are better
like the delicacy shark finn soup we need a Spa
lucky green group Irish eyes are smiling stories
of ducks

I am  not buying do you see duck climb the
          "Eiffel Tower" yellow as a canary
All talk-talk is cheap lets talk French Mom walks
With her pretty duck handle umbrella we waddle
The penquin what a beauty swan feather pen
  But she's the"Prima Donna" look out!

The slingshot Marilyn Monroe wiggles out
                  The "Spa- Ma"
                 Don't  Scramble me darlings
                    Breakfast eggs cagefree
                     *          *          
My little chickadees organic brown on my gown
Spa duckies traveled the whole Atlantic town
The longest pond sleeping like "Rip Van Winkle"
twinkle twinkle
doublecrossed the street you get one dermerit
Sesame street Big bird how many words in duck
vocabulary quack- quack who get's the duck star

Mars from Men women go to the Spa like the bad
omen and they don't leave tap tap chop chop
I want it now!! Its now or never why does she always
get **** duckling book delivered
Lazy goose she is the spoiled rotten egg how
do we love those  I apples
Carrots are for the eyes Mom always gets bird eyes

My little chickadees the Alaskan cute puppies
Big salute to the cutest duck feet "God Bless America"
  Visa  American Express Daffy Duck in Disney mess
the real picture "Mona Lisa" getting the duck
         Prime  chop minister
"Parliament Spa" prices so sinister
"Eat Duck and Pray" the  southern biscuits
more recruits

My cute rookies those duckier cookies another Spa day
So prim and proper teatime with "Queen deck"
  Alice in rabbit hole-Santa candycane poles cute chick
is homesick you better sent her money quick
The ducky bib the Chinese duck soup won ton
The feather fan she loves her Sushi roll Hollywood
Style California all duck drama
The best treatment duck made carpet

On the "Disney Hollywood" deck "Epcot"
On the futon what diction for a duck "My Fair lady"
Got the whole fortunes bed
The duck on the hill what a fool but the monk
Is the whole spiritual existence
The peacock's longest wait for lobster tails
centerpieces red bird Robin fly Robin Fly

Disco ball fancy tails she ended up up up to the sky
Her duck sunglasses a dozen ***** spin's the disco
The Duck Pop singer wants him back
High price or a short mack duck shooter attack
Food for thought homesick all saucy duck tie waiter
Cinderella rags to ducklings I went to "Woodstock"
Imagine me the teenager chick the duck split

Fill wing concert sky made a hit
The blues love is strange chick-lets are yellow
Like clock work what a duck work out orange          
        Duck handle umbrella               
 Duckies I pledge to you College Preppies
The chick feeder Ain't nothing but a hound dog
      Elvis heart breaker bird-brain feeder

  Moms duck sugar cookies
******* Jack one prize quack quack
 Huckleberry Finn paper boat old billy goat
  In the drowned mans eye holy ducks he delivered
I will blow you down duck horn the day you
were born
Having a third eye one duck Wendy 4 for a 4

Notre Dame church tragic but saved
   The  Easter yellow chicks
To Rome lend me your feathers no secret ears
Sticky Fingers she lost her writing finger in the
pond  OH! look whats beyond so kind
With her duckling apron dress he ducked
The chatty cat "City Dr Seuss"

Wearing duck boots those duck lips played her
like the fancy feast
The teachers pet the ducklings cute darlings
Spa cream she quite the flabber belly dancer
The ballet swan achiever "Spa One Day tripper"
The **** duckling changed to beauty witch
Holy-land or duck pond Mickey's ears
                   Disneyland

Stand up daffy duck comedian Las Vegas
Godiva Peking duck soup flapping swishing
mess
The Big Ben red whose been sleeping in my
duck wing bed
The car stops he hiccups cute bebops
The guardian angel quack quack any luck
Yummy raspberry pie someone delivered

Christmas Scrooge all tears
New York lights camera I love my
        Serendipity chandeliers
Those duck tear drops last stop
Or you die__your still quacking
       Just in time said I
           Fly Robin Fly

     Saved my baby chick lovely
     Cradled her to love her
          Dr Seuss read

How does it feel to do it all again?

So lonely
I'm floating
Like the plastic bag on my head

No weight to hold you down
Face it
She's gone and the pains still around

So capable
A waste full of love

How does it feel to do it all again?

She says, "I feel nothing"
I say, "You're a liar"

Eventually you realize the relationship will expire

Maybe I was wrong?
I miss when we used to take strolls down the side walk

All those dreams of buying cars driving around in empty parking lots
Sipping morning coffee acting mindless

You are gone, and I will still live it
Just not with the face I expected
Not the face I knew when we were both children

What we have together is complicated.
It very well may be toxic.
But I am glad it happened.
I ask if you love me.
The physical representation of thirst.
You curve my appetite in so many ways.
I am full in knowing that you complete me.
Such a sensual smell.
My mouth burnt by the hot.
My taste buds go insane each time you are near.
Watering at the mouth.
I've eaten too much but know you fulfill my every need.
I often picture a life together with you.
Seasonal aroma, stirred and mixed.
Following your lead.
We grow older.
At times you upset my stomach.
I regret the decision of going to find you.
But this is the same reason I am drawn towards you.
Licking the corners on my mouth.
You fill what hunger I have and I love it.
Because I love you.
We may have our spats but that's anyone that confuses misunderstanding.
I am sincere in the way I am reminded.
Yet selfish in the way I am spoiled.
I love you because you always commit with purpose.
One spoon at a time.
To wake up and have you here with me.
I wouldn't trade anything for it.
To wake up and have you beside me, 
To wake up and ask is that Shrimp Fried Rice on your breath

Our hearts become abandoned churches
housing the broken stained glass colors
shattered in the reflection
of who we used to dream ourselves to be
while being afraid
to face what we have become

and we have become monsters
much worse than any of the ones
we use to fear
living beneath our beds
and in our closest
and down dark alleys

men who ****** truth
children who **** children
mothers who grieve for attention
fathers who hope for death
clergymen who stalk prey
prayers of hate
spoiled milk and rotten flesh
no longer the kin of kind
only the kings of misery

and then petition the empty sky
for the answer of how we became so cruel
that we would abandon our hearts
with the churches along roads
too overgrown to find or travel down

looking for the devil at the crossroads
so we have someone else to blame
for the shameful mess we have made
of who we use to dream ourselves to be

Lying low on the beach of the lake,
small as a snake,
a naked leech.

Its body deflates as I bathe—
as I dive in the wave—
it bakes in the sand.

I rise to a sea of them, boiled,
spoiled black in the sun—
bloodless beasts.

But I’ve a few bottles of beers
to elicit some cheers
on my day at the beach.

When a girl doesn't smile a lot
Maybe something sad like pain of the past spoiled her heart

When a girl used to frown a lot
Maybe she did something bad like buying people's flak

But smile even they don't understand
They will never understand this sting cut in your hand

She won't truly smile anymore
But maybe with lipstick of deceit she'll try for sure

It rains when she smiles going home
As she can never fool the clouds when she hides her gloom

Smiles she keep but inside she weep
Raindrops joined her tears to streams to seas and ocean deep

Smile at least 'til you're ninety eight
By then stars outshine your teeth, frown all you want asleep

My father
my lovely, unbreakable father
braved the Iran Iraq war in the 80s

My mother had just given birth to my older sister
and my father was to defend Baghdad, leave behind his beautiful wife and first born to live with missiles and miss the first decade's memories of my sister's existence, withdrawn from his love

He was young
but aware that he would need to survive this battle for 3 and that breaking was not an option

My father
my soldier of a father
had to fight in the frying sun, dirt and blood of his brothers for 3 years until the fighting was done
Iran then held him behind bars for 7 innocent years to stomach stale bread, spoiled soup, to rot his teeth and live inside of his head

My father
my prisoner of a father
learned that only so much pain will turn you numb
turn you to silence
when there's no where to run

My father
my hero of a father
stands today as if a war had never come

My father
my selfless father would rather not bare his stories for they have been buried deeper than the bodies he had to bury

When I asked him if he would watch a documentary called my country my country based in Iraq
he immediately declined saying
"Lay buyun takhren ichmendi"
translated into
"I don't want to remember anything"
how ignorant of me to think that it would be a fun thing to do...
while my poor dad is still wrestling with his memories
trying his darnedest to suffocate them
I'll never know what really happened because he is a vault forevermore
he would not dare burden his little girl with what he endured
that sole fact makes me proud to be my father's daughter

My father
my incredible father could probably write a better poem
yet I could not be more grateful for all the sacrifices he made to give me a life

Hell,
if my dad never made it home
I'd never have made it to tell you
about my father
**My perfect father

What is complete can not ever be spoiled.
Static perfection in every point.
Slices of moments, magnificent world,
Life that's eternal in every word.

Reminds me of those sweet moments
I wouldn't switch it with anything
Either I'd have cried or I'd have gotten conflict
I used to hug it every single night
Say my dreams to it
N take myself to universe vlog
It pleased me often
The matter was just it couldn't get me to talk
Brought it to the parties
I spoiled it
I've always realised
That if there weren't any attention
Now we would be harder than a rock

We're gonna build that ******* wall,
We're gonna build that ******* wall,
Cos over here, yeah
We've got feelings
And over there they feel nothing at all.

We keep suffering out of sight
We keep misery out of mind,
We didn't get where we are by seeing ****,
And we're stronger when we're blind.

Well it ain't my job to care,
And I ain't paid to give a ****,
You see my grandaddy came and stole this land,
If it was yours, then you're **** out of luck.

They want a doctor when they're sick,
They want a house were they can live,
They want my air and my food and my water,
Well I ain't got a **** to give.
Yeah I ain't got a **** to give

they coming for your church,
And they're coming for your beer,
They're gonna make your wives wear the veil
They wanna make your kids grow up queer.

They tell me that the world is round
They tell me that we came from apes
They're tryna vaccinate my children
And there ain't no way to escape.

You see I love this ******* land,
I ******* love this blood and soil,
I love the colour of the people that I see in my town
And I don't wanna see it spoiled.

Don't you know that they'll take away your job,
And They'll take away your gun,
And now "free speech" has been outlawed, yeah,
They wanna take away your fun.

Well it ain't my job to care,
And I ain't paid to give a ****,
You see my grandaddy came and stole this land,
If it was yours, then you're **** out of luck.

They want a doctor when they're sick,
They want a house were they can live,
They want my air and my food and my water,
Well I ain't got a **** to give.
Yeah I ain't got a **** to give.

Put away you libcuck virtue signals
Cos civilization don't need your grief,
If the boot was on the other foot now
I know they'd kick out my ******* teeth.